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Musings – And in the beginning ….

I grew up knowing of the Book of Genesis and while I lacked formal religious education, these  lines are etched into my memory:

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.

3 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.

4 God saw that the light was good, and He separated the light from the darkness. 

The Introduction to A Course in Miracles says  “Nothing real can be threatened. Nothing unreal exists. Herein lies the peace of God.”

For those who have been following my blog awhile, you know that this started out as a way to track my movement through 2013. Most of the material has been very positive, even magical or mystical in content. I also aim to be as authentic as possible. At this point in my journey the BIG question has come up again, BIG time! What am I talking about?

I transitioned from the Old Testament to spiritual seeking many moons ago. Questions such as ” What happens after death?” or ” Why is there so much suffering?” or ” Why is there inequality between men and women in organized religion?” were not answered to my satisfaction. Later in college I was introduced to philosophy. We pondered “What is consciousness?” Descartes’ quote ” I think therefore I am.”  did placate me temporarily. In my twenties I eventually laid my eyes upon A Course in Miracles. My study group struggled with the heady material for a few years, uncovering its wisdom and unraveling our toxic belief systems. I still consider these teachings sacred and comforting in times of woe.

But no text or teacher or thought leader has ever been able to address the BIG question. When it first hit me, I was frightened that  I was capable of producing this thought. For several years I pushed it aside and told myself it was just too dark. I did not even say it out loud until about a year ago when I was in consultation with my Spiritual Director. She was able to assure me that I am not alone in considering the question and referred me to the works of Ken Wilber. Although I find his writing to be  quite intriguing , it still left me answerless and lost.

Ready for the BIG question – Why life?

By Smithsonian Institution via Wikimedia Commons

I do not mean why life on Earth or why Earth. I mean why is there a need for any consciousness at all? Genesis refers to the beginning, well what happened before that? Was there always a system and if so, why is there a need for a system? If you say, there is no time or space, that is fine, BUT it does not address the question. The Course addresses reality versus illusion in the introduction, yet still leaves me wondering ” What does it mean to be real and why is there any need for reality in the first place?”

 Why NOT total absolute infinite darkness?

http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5/deed.en By User:Alain r (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)], via Wikimedia Commons

No sweet YouTube video or charming sentiment is provided here to end this post. I am hungry for the answers and glad that I took the plunge to entertain this topic here. My lack of answers leaves me very uncomfortable, but human. Accept my invitation to take the leap with me. Please help me explore this further by sharing your thoughts.

first image courtesy of By Smithsonian Institution via Wikimedia Commons

second image courtesy of  User:Alain r ( Own work) via Wikimedia Commons http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5/deed.en