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Litebeing heading towards the dark side ?

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Anyone remember my Blog Story page which was written to accompany the My Story page?  Here is a quote from the first paragraph :  

So as I go about my day,  I ask the Source, God, the Divine, the quantum field, the Universe etc..   to help me see the light. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it works but I’m off my game.

 

Well, I have been off my game, BIG TIME! I do not like to blame transits or eclipses or really anything for my emotional tirades or crummy coping skills. I really am more interested in focusing on my reactions and accepting whatever shows up in my day-to-day life. However, I have had a real rough time with my laptop, health issues, and miscommunications with others. I have reacted in a less than stellar fashion. My natural Scorpionic tendencies have been in full force and it has been quite dark and un litebeing-like.

Now Saturn is approaching my Sun. I wrote about this when introducing the Cosmic Retrograde Challenge.  I am really feeling the strength of this energy now and it is testing my patience , focus, determination, and demeanor. I am not naturally exuberant dear readers, I work at it! And sometimes I am just plain cranky! I am working on finding a more effective way to manage the stress and the persistent doubts. It is within reach and I know I will eventually bounce back. This is what I do ~ I was made resilient and I am incredibly grateful. Otherwise I may not still be here.

 

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You may wonder why I am discussing this here. One reason is that writing has been my salvation, especially since starting this blog. My soul feels lighter as I type each letter, word, and phrase. Another reason is my commitment to all of you!  I want you to realize that everyone has their off cycles, despite all the yoga, meditation, support, healthy diet, and prayer. I am a spiritual being having a human experience, not the other way around! Having an ordinary body and a brain that uses only a minute percentage of its potential capacity is like trying to write a masterpiece on a laptop that freezes at will and lacks the latest software ( like what I am using now!).  I wonder what it would be like if I could have a pure unadulterated spiritual experience in human form. I don’t mean a short-lived mystical awakening but decades of being in my body immersed in the less dense, higher vibrational worlds.

 

Have any of you been able to sustain this state of bliss?

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Bottom line, it is critical that I present myself on these pages as transparent and vulnerable as possible. I cannot teach and inspire if I hide my uncertainties and trials. So there will be times when pain, fear, sadness , disappointment and frustration reside here, along with joy, hope, magic, excitement and glee. Some of my favorite writers pour themselves onto the pages and invite me to drink the bitter liquid to better appreciate its power.  Showing more of my range as a person allows me to paint a more nuanced picture with my words.

Announcements: I have some drafts pending that I am eager to share soon. There is a dream sampler that is quite exciting, along with my alchemical experiment with sugilite for the Cosmic Retrograde Challenge. I also am planning a top-secret post about the power of music plus some other surprises! Stay tuned…

Update: I have often referred to the music of Billy Joel to illustrate a particular theme or message. His melodies and lyrics are very soulful and sometimes catch me off guard with their tenderness, wisdom, and clarity. I wanted to include She’s Always A Woman on my last post, but it did not make it on the final version. I strongly sense that he understands the essence of a Scorpio woman. I did some research on his wives and discovered he married a Virgo and an Aquarius.  Their charts ( no birth time) did not reveal many Scorpion characteristics. I could not get any data about his first wife though. It has been publicized that this song was written about her! When I first heard it I really thought it could have been written by someone who was romantically involved with me.

Do you think it is Scorpio – worthy? Let me know your opinion.

butterfly image courtesy of wikimedia.org  public domain

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