Help Me See My Situation Differently, I Humbly Ask All of You


Brief Update 5-12-15 : A huge thanks to all who have responded to my plea. Blessings to all of you. I am deeply moved by the outpouring of kindness both on the blog and by email. I am still very much in the thick of it, but want all my readers to know I have read each and every response. The further I delve into my predicament, the more I see that I must hand it over to Source. I must find a way to change my fear and pain into peace and serenity. While most of my struggles may seem random, one conflict is beginning to look quite insidious and dark. I hope I can find the strength to face whatever outcome(s) materializes.

Please keep the love, healing energies, and prayers, etc, coming. I am so very grateful to belong to this beloved community that really represents the best definition of  a “global family.”  Much love, Linda

I am asking all of my readers to send me love and healing in whatever form(s) you choose. After employment woes, difficulty at my home, and a serious health crisis, another series of unexpected financial surprises has arrived at my door. I received 3 upsetting notices in the mail within less than 1 week. I will keep the details private as they matter only to me. What is critical is that they have sent me further down a black hole into the void.

I have been struggling with finances for years, and was beginning to see some relief once I made the decision to take my pension. But now a series of 3 events has me scrambling to breathe.

I could say this is just more of transiting Uranus in my 2nd house of finances, but Uranus is soon applying to trine natal Venus. Perhaps it is transiting Chiron squaring natal Venus, but I am not certain.

The old story I tell myself is screaming in my ear ” You are unworthy of happiness and you deserve to suffer!” or ” This is payback for everything you have done wrong to others and your enemies are celebrating!” I know this is so Scorpio , yet this is my truth at this moment. There are many moments just like this one, when I just don’t see the point in being here. It seems like I have accomplished all I ever will and that I have loved all who I will ever love, and that I am just killing time and space. I want to see this differently, but I don’t. Peace eludes me, and it is not for lack of trying. My plight seems inevitable.

I need some help, NOW.

Thank goodness I have Dexter to keep me here, along with the hope that I do not see my life clearly. This is not a Neptune mess as I am in a Neptune trine cycle. I just came out of a yucky Neptune square to my MH/IC that was full of deceit, lies, and general disillusionment. I thought I had weathered the storm, especially after Saturn left Scorpio at the end of 2014. But life keeps getting grimmer and grimmer and I feel little hope that I can fix my situation. I feel so tired.

Mostly everything I have tried to do to fulfill my heart and soul’s calling this year has either failed or fizzled out. I do still have my writing, but worry it is not as effective as it once was. I feel directionless and hopeless. I am overriding my ego and letting you see me in my vulnerable state. I want to be seen and express my sorrow and despair with integrity and purity.

Both my new radical gratitude practice and my new philosophy” Life is Conspiring in my Favor” are simply not working. I want them to work. I want to believe that I do matter and that I can transcend the wounds of my past, along with the sad stories I created to understand the wounds.  I know better on many levels, but I still feel so powerless and defeated. Meditation, prayer, asking for assistance from my guides, etc has not made any impact.

So I am asking for assistance. Thank you all for reading my words, viewing my images, and believing in my ability to spread the light, even when I have my doubts.

longwood132015

 
If you prefer to email rather than comment, please contact me at lalitebeing@aol.com

24 Comments

  1. My dear Linda! You are not alone – I am always with you :-). At least you have clear water and bed. Let’s share a cup of tea with honey and, you know, I am feeling warmness of your eyes, and this moment is happy. You are not alone :-). Hug you!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sorry to read this news Linda, I have been out of the loop lately and I’m sending love and prayers. So much intensity and transition everywhere…I’m happy you have such loving support from the WP community. Big hugs and healing vibes! ❤ Aleya

    Liked by 2 people

  3. What a beautiful response you have received, Linda! There is little to be added. I can only say it seems there are a number of those in my limited awareness who are presently confronted with something that seems insurmountable. Insurmountable, when it comes, seems to me to require a shifting into the heart– not searching for answers per se. Nevermind how we got here. Nevermind what specific thought or belief needs to change. Just moving into the accepting space of the heart. Into a vastness that can carry this moment with ease. There is some switch you are fumbling for in the dark but cannot find with the mind. Some release. Some movement. Some trapdoor. The heart is a latch, but I think however hard it may be to do so, the moment must first be accepted. Not the outcomes you may fear, but the moment that is… Settle into it with your heart. Let it settle into you. Then drop out of the fuselage and into the sky!

    Sending Love
    Michael

    Like

  4. Linda you know I am sending.. but will contact you over tomorrow in an email, just saw your post in my email listings.. Remember You ARE Worthy.. and the Gratitude is working.. do not doubt it too soon.. Sending Love and Support.. xxxx ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dear Linda, I am praying for you in this dismal situation. It calls to mind a quote from James Nayler, put to music by Paulette Meier. “Art thou in the darkness? Mind it not, or it will feed thee more. But stand still and act not and wait in patience til Light arises out of darkness to lead thee.” It’s number four at this link: http://www.paulettemeier.com/spiritual-wisdom.html

    I wonder if there is something you are holding onto that you need to let go of? Sometimes our situation gets more and more difficult because we are resisting a message to do something or make a change that we would rather not do.

    Love and blessings, precious friend.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Hey Linda,
    I have been thinking of you, sending Blessings and wondering how you are doing. Dark nights of the Soul can be such deep teaching times that you can look back on and understand the goodness later. During…well it kind of sucks. The rewards are so great if you can allow the process. I honor what you are going through, and hope the LIGHT is keenly felt soon.
    Mary

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Sending Reiki. And good thoughts. I SO know this place. I echo Julianne — it’s feeling like a step away from astrology might help. Either just some quiet for a while, like mindfulness, or asking for inner guidance. One of my teachers taught me to always ask, “What do I believe that created this (illness, problem, situation, etc)?” When and why did that belief start? It has brought me so many answers over the years. I think sometimes we’re given these winding roads so we can help guide others through their own. You’re gonna have a lot of insight about dealing with a torrent of stuff!
    I meant to add a comment a while back to a conversation we were having but I haven’t been able to remember which post we were commenting on, so I’ll throw this in: I haven’t been able to afford the alternative medicine stuff for a long time but I’ve found that each time I sense some type of treatment would work, someone shows up and offers a trade (for me, movement classes in exchange for massage or whatever). I’ve even had one or two folks offer a few treatments for free because their guides told them to. A friend of mine who’s better at manifestation than I am wished for her husband to be able to go to Germany for a very expensive alternative cancer treatment. A friend wrote a check for $50,000 so he could go (and he’s doing great). The lack of money doesn’t have to mean you don’t receive abundance in some other form…
    Hang in there — we’re pulling for you. Hugs, Leigh

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Tomorrow I’ll be home and will pull a card for you… And email, also answering your last email to me… For now I feel it’s time to stop looking into things for answers… What’s happening is far beyond the human mind to comprehend… Hence fear comes up… Just observe everything that is coming up with no judgement… No thinking, only allowing… There is nothing to do but allow your divine self, who is in control to put you into a position it needs to… It normally means breaking everything down that we like. TRUST your magnificent self to come through… It’s not going to take that much longer, but it may seem it. So be quiet, observe, accept and allow ms amazing to bring you the most magnificent life you can imagine… Paint it, write about it… It is already here, you are so close… Hang in there my dear divine friend… Love Barbara x

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Lotsa Hugs your way – any advice would be, rather, empty, but I will tell ya –
    Been There – Bought The T-Shirt – Would like to avoid that tourist trap in the future…
    But know I will end up visiting again, at some transitional point –

    The Good News is someday, you will look back with pride at this time and say to another struggling soul –
    “Yup – Been There, Bought the T-shirt…..”

    Oh, and maybe a quick little prayer to Mother Nature,
    “Please handle, I haven’t a clue how to –
    Meanwhile, I’ll work on remembering how awesome I am….Thanks!”

    xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Sending you Peace, Light and Love to assist you is the easy part. The challenge is always how do we receive them. When we lose our sense of direction we are lost, when we lose our vision we are blind, and when we are no longer able to moved we must be carried.
    So as I and others send energy without conditions to you (to serve you in the highest forms possible) there is also an unconditional receiving which must occur.
    A surrender… not to words or teachings, not to anything found outside of ourselves. Not to the past or the future, old programming or stories which have led us astray from truth for thousands of years shall we look for answers.
    Know from within your own Heart that all transitions in this bodily form are temporary and have no real power over You. That all the perceived negative energies that are now in motion and bringing up fear and self pity or loathing are just the continued vision of separation in a paradigm which is returning to unification.
    None of us enjoy this part, nor have we really enjoyed the paths that got us here either. So please receive the energies we send and let them enter you Heart and allow radiate throughout the rest of your perceive self, as a balm to assist you in remembering that you are a precious creation along with us all regardless of what is happening to or around you.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Dear friend Linda, I can relate so well to your appeal for help. The path of lightworkers is a difficult one, often strewn with challenges that leave us questioning our faith and hope. When my soul is in despair, I turn it over to God and ask for His help. Most often help comes immediately or soon after. We are promised that we never have to carry more burdens than we can handle…we simply have to ask for His help. You have reached out for help, and now I suggest you turn to the One who can help you the most..We are all rooting for you, Love and hugs, Beverley

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Dear Linda,
    I never know quite what to say when friends (or myself for that matter) are struggling. There’s lots of things that come to mind, but they all seem so inadequate when one is struggling. Ugh!
    I do hope your burden lightens up a bit soon. It has been a strange year I think. I myself feel as if I were burrowing deep inside a cocoon with no clue as to what some future version of myself might look like!
    So, like others here, I do send you my love and best wishes! Give Dexter a hug and take it one hour at a time if you need to.
    Deb

    Liked by 3 people

  13. I somehow agree with Julianne. I think for sure it is very hard to interpret your own chart and transits. Maybe it is even impossible. I’ve got this deck of angel cards that I really love. They are unknown in America because the author is German. I hope you do not mind I have pulled a card for you. You got Angels of Blue Ray. The card says your rescue is near and you are cutting through illusion right now. The angels presiding over this card are Archangel Michael and Lady Faith. These angels offer you protection and safety when you are going through hard times. They are there to protect you from the forces of darkness. They release you from old karmic bonds.
    https://encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT7-Xq0-vVOKSa04ZyYEXzR44PCXXAePtVRtlhcfMylvAdTlhKN
    I guess you could look at some links to learn more about Archangel Michael and Lady Faith:
    http://www.summitlighthouse.org/archangel-michael-faith/
    http://earthangels-angeliclightworkers.com/group/the-new-children-indigo-crystal-blue-ray-etc/forum/topics/the-archangels-archeiai
    I wish you all the best and I am sending you my love.
    Monika

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Wow, Linda. First of all, I am sending healing love and energy. Thank you for being vulnerable. It is hard to do. Wrestling with our shadow parts is something we don’t like others to see. I soooo know that place, as I am sure most others do too. I find that sometimes when I am going through a major transition, different parts of me get there first. All the others have to catch up. In order to catch up, everything that stands between where they want to be and where they are now has to come up to be healed. Not easy. It feels like what is the point in even being here. Issues keep coming up as if no work has been done. Frustrating, disheartening and feelings of hopelessness.
    I hate that place! So, so sorry you are there. What I do know is that each time the issues come around, they are at a higher level of truth or healing, even though it may not feel like it.
    When you say to yourself things like you are unworthy of happiness or deserve to suffer, to me that is a much younger part with little self esteem. She needs to be nurtured, and be compassionately forgiven by you as an adult..or your higher self. I don’t know how you usually work with yourself internally, or if you work with inner parts or subpersonalities, but the inner critic is being mean to that part. I do find that all parts have a positive intent, so going inside and figuring out what that intent is and helping those parts to get their needs met in healthier ways is good.
    As hard as it is, I encourage you to love your shadow. Embrace the inner child – whatever age you were when you first accepted the message of being unworthy. Lovingly forgive that age self for buying into that.
    I know you know you are here for a reason, though sometimes I know it doesn’t feel like it. Otherwise you really wouldn’t be here. There is something around the corner. It does get better. Gratitude for what is going well begins the energy spiral going back up. The vibration that will bring to you your heart’s desire. I know you know all this stuff, but hopefully some reminders will get some happiness back. In the meantime, please be gentle with you. A lot of people here on WP care.
    Mary

    Liked by 3 people

  15. Hang in there Linda! I suggest take a break from looking at astrology for answers and explanations. You need to clear your head space so your angels can get throughout to you. Ask them for guidance and assistance. Sending my love as well! ❤

    Liked by 5 people

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