How Am I Doing? ~ Mercury Direct Neptune Retro Wayward Pines Edition

Photo607I could be grocery shopping right now. But I am here with AC blazing on a Friday afternoon. We are having a heat wave and this new development took me by surprise. Everyone has been talking about the intense Mercury Neptune energy. Honestly for me it is like a regular day at the office ( when I actually went to an office.) Translation: I have Neptune Sun Mercury conjunct in Scorpio ( a stellium) so my mind naturally rides the waves of hyper-imagination, empathy, fantasy, and susceptibility to deception or illusion.

Having said that, I still am taking life slowly and simply for a few more days, focusing more on the inner journey and escapism entertainment. I am really enjoying this new Fox show Wayward Pines. I will not give away the plot twist but will say how wonderful it is to see Matt Dillon back on-screen and find a television series that seems original and captivating. Blending the familiar ( Matt Dillon) with the unfamiliar ( new mystery series) seems to be on today’s menu.

Which brings me to my update:

My health has been more stable the past few days. I continue to incorporate a greater variety of foods into my diet with caution and mild optimism. It has been over 2 months since my attack and I take comfort in this fact. While I still experience pain and discomfort, I believe that the passage of time without an episode indicates healing. I have begun to break out in pimples, which seems strange at first glance. My intuition tells me they are signs of toxins leaving my system.

My meditation practice is slowly coming back. I attended a soundbath on Sunday and it was lovely to hear the vibrations dance within the room and throughout my being. The healing helped activate my ability to go within for longer periods of time. Listening to my boy Matt Kahn has also served to relax me. He often refers to visits to the grocery store and these anecdotes really bring his message down to earth for me. As an empath, I often feel discombobulated in large stores filled with so much noise and activity. Listening to his escapades inspires me to be kinder to myself and others, wherever I go.

I finally put my Meetup to bed today. After switching the format and trying different ways to engage people, I decided to let the group fade away. I feel both relieved and excited. Relief in knowing I can channel my energy elsewhere and excited because another Meetup group invited me to join them as a group leader. While I often seem to succeed by operating independently, it was not happening with the Meetup. I do still hold a vision for a local sanctuary for the like-minded to come together and grow collectively. My contribution to this activity may still happen, but in a different form than I expected. I continue to latch onto the notion that failure is not a dirty word, but simply an attempt to try something new. Celebrating the attempt for its own sake is rather new for me. In Mental Health Recovery, celebration of any step forward in the client’s journey was the foundation of sound practice. Applying this principle in my own life seems awkward and forced. But I am working on it.

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Lingering questions:

Why do I feel more at home in “the future” than in the NOW?

Is confusion the new normal?

Can watching Wayward Pines, Tomorrowland and 12 Monkeys account for my experience of malleable time or is it the other way around?

Why doesn’t WordPress announce its new features like live chat or statistics insights?

Am I becoming more comfortable with mystery in general?

NAMASTE

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