Ahh, finally September. The idea of September comforts me. Maybe it has to do with the Earth Wind and Fire song of the same name, or because it signals the end of humid oppressive weather. Maybe I associate this month with hope. I am just so ready to move on. But to where, to what?
When I consider my evolution, the parfait comes to mind. The image above is a strawberry sundae, but you get the idea. It is about the different layers. Reading about parallel universes and varying levels of consciousness have influenced me greatly over the summer. While I draw no conclusions, I see how this metaphor can be effective. Take yesterday for example: I wake up from a positive loving dream. I feel open, confident, and cared for. In waking life, all sorts of shit hits the fan. Most of it stems from dealing with people who lack consciousness. Now I understand there are times when I am one of those people, but I am talking about people who you want to trust, but show you otherwise. You give them the benefit of the doubt and you stretch your patience. You see the beauty within them and hope for the best. When you reach your boundary, you express your feelings with truth and some diplomacy. You receive defensiveness, no accountability, and anger in return.
Have any of you experienced this?
With Venus about to complete her retrograde cycle, I have been feeling sadness deepen within me. This sadness has inspired me in the examining of past relationships. I keep coming back to the quote ” When people show you who they are, believe them.” I learned years ago not to accept one’s words over actions. We are much more than either words or actions, but they are indicators of our level of awareness at a point in time and space.
I am happy to report that I am not judging myself for giving people the benefit of the doubt. I lead with my intuition and I would do so again. When I reflect on past romances and consider excuses, manipulations, and blatant dishonesty, I feel less bitter.
People are flawed and we do the best we can. Like Matt Kahn says, it is not about just hanging out with people at your level or trying to convince others that you know the way. Have you ever called a liar a liar? Have you ever called a manipulator a manipulator? It accomplishes nothing. I refuse to see people who behave this way as reflections of me anymore. It is not that simple and never was.
When I notice how my big open heart invites some to take advantage, I fight the tendency to close down. I enjoy being full of love. My Dexter taught me well. In his absence I truly feel the sadness of being disconnected. I have so few people in my life that really know me and offer me unconditional love. I could adopt another cat and be done with it. I probably will adopt when I am ready.
But in this transitional period I travel from layer to layer. I allow the extreme sadness to stay with me until it dissipates. I enjoy my dream state and meditative states of being. Which layer is more real? I don’t know. At some levels of consciousness, all is well exactly as it is. I grasp the panoramic view where my soul is delighting in my incarnation. I continue to be grateful for the big and little things, the organic dates and fresh guacamole, the magical powers of probiotics, an unexpected breeze, a smile that appears on my face…
Wishing you a multilayered September full of revelations and love.
litebeing chronicles 
I loved that post Linda ❤
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thank you. It was raw and honest.
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Reblogged this on Sindy's Saturday Satsang and commented:
Love this ❤
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I just found your blog tonight, so glad I did! You’ve expressed so much of what I feel too. I’ve struggled with the projection piece too, trying to understand how passive-aggressive, manipulating, defensive behavior is reflective of me in anyway. What I did find through deep, probing inquiry in one relationship was that, although my behavior didn’t match what was coming at me, there was hidden pain in me that was only revealed through trying to understand this negative person in my life. This person showed me my shadow unbeknownst to them. When I discovered what I believed to be their suffering I realized I too shared the same pain. I don’t know if I would have been able to heal that part of myself without that difficult relationship to show me the way through believing in projection. Interestingly, our relationship has healed and though I still see the poor behavior directed at others I am no longer a target.
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So glad to know that my post really resonated with you and that you gained so much from your relationship. I think that my once overused projection defense mechanism is less utilized and way more subtle. I will more often notice my past behavior in others, allowing me to see more clearly how I appeared to the other. And it was often rather ugly and vile. I do agree about the pain element. Pain is such a strong motivator for unconscious behavior.
Thank you so much for such an open expression here. I hope you enjoy reading more of my tales as you are led….
peace, litebeing
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Such a lovely post dear Linda.. “But in this transitional period I travel from layer to layer. I allow the extreme sadness to stay with me until it dissipates.”… allowing ourselves to ‘Feel’ the emotions Linda and go within their flow is helping peel off the layers… We are all of us right now within our own emotional journey’s reflecting the outer world as we all of us search and reach out for comfort and begin to find ourselves anew.. Loved your analogy with the strawberry sundae .. 🙂 Wishing you well my friend xxx Happy September
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Thanks Sue for your support and understanding. I am practicing loving myself as I feel pain in its various forms. It seems awkward but also natural after awhile. xxx Linda
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Yes, I have experienced people reacting with defensiveness, no accountability and anger when I speak my truth, but they are usually people not in my circle of friends, or people not awake, so I try to shake it off and not take it personally. But my heart has been so freakin’ open during this moon. Wow! I have really been letting myself cry a lot the last few days. It’s been cleansing for me. I kind of love letting myself have the time to do that. Anyone watching might feel sad for me, but it is so good! I might be driving or sitting on my chair and someone comes to mind…”I love her..sob, sob, sob.” Then something maddening comes to mind…”sob sob..I so didn’t deserve that!” It’s just such a self loving thing to do. I know…weird, right? But a lot of my friends are really going through big stuff right now. And the world! I don’t know. Life is just big. I really appreciate your take on it with the astrology focus. It’s really helpful. And I love getting to know your heart.
Thanks Linda.
Mary
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Hi Mary,
Very glad to know you appreciate my blog. Sometimes my posts are more dark and intense, but that is part of my nature. As is the crying. I have always been a big crier. I often would cry when with clients as a social worker. I just feel emotions very strongly. It is rather unusual to be so sensitive but more people are waking up.
peace, Linda
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Me too, Linda. I am a deep feeler, for which I am grateful. Thanks for writing back.
Peace,
Mary
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This is a very thought-provoking post. I’m appreciating Karin’s response, “I think it is about acceptance of the inner voice. And if that voice tells me , do not touch the hot stove, then I better follow that. And if that voice would tell me not to interact with certain people, I would better follow that suggestion.” We do our best. Life is filling, and the yums have layers! In this day and age, it seems like things change really swiftly, and appearances can be confusing! Some unplugging time is necessary sometimes, too, maybe to sort things out for yourself. Love, Ka
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yes that Karin is a wise one 🙂 Unplugging is harder for me lately as sometimes I want to avoid the grief and loneliness I feel at home. But I do fare better when I introduce more balance in my life. Appearances can be confusing. Some of the most charming people lack character. I am far from perfect but I am reliable and dependable. Being fixed encourages this behavior. Anyway, I got it off my chest and provoked some thoughts!
love, Linda
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Dear Linda,
I’m glad you were able to get it off your chest. It does seem you opened up space for others to do so as well here. What a relief then! I trust that you will do whatever is right for you and in alignment with your needs 🙂 Connecting and disconnecting, whatever that means for each of us, is different. For me, it’s finding more ‘me time’ and not always thinking about who I can be helping or connecting with (or what I am avoiding, whatever it is). I spend a lot of time here and there, and it’s always a call to return to that quietude of my own presence to get in the center of non-movement. I’m going to meditate more before the semester starts, so I speak for myself about shifting gears a little bit. There’s some contemplation exercise out there about being aware of “running towards” or “running away from.” If we can figure these things out for ourselves, we can overcome some of our connecting/diconnecting fears.? It has worked for me at times to sort it out in these terms, but I haven’t quite formed it into a solid explanation for a process. I think relationships are something we spend our whole lives trying to “get right” in the sense that we need to build for ourselves comfortable, and mutually supportive environments, with lots of space for one another to grow in the unique ways that each of our soul’s are directed. Seems like you are doing a fine job here! Also, a Yummy metaphor makes it all so much easier!!! What a great way to share, Linda! Sitting with what comes up and allowing it to filter through all the different tastes and layers.
K
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Dear Ka,
Blogging is cheaper than therapy, lol! It is an added bonus when readers get a prompt to look into their own hearts after reading my thoughts. I like the yummy metaphor because I am becoming more and more aware that our world operates on multiple levels. I can choose to visit another level whenever I am ready. Meditation is on way to get there. As you know , many portals exist. Relationships are fabulous and often quite complex. Working on the primary one is the way to go. From there, the sky is the limit ( or maybe not?)
love ya and love how your supports propels me to a place where I can breathe deeper and freer. ❤
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I love you, Linda! Gosh… it’s so easy ❤
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What’s jazzing me about blogging right now is writing poetry, and getting feedback. I have a astrological book to review, and that’s coming up, so stay tuned over at Fiestaestrellas.com too! Here and there, may we continue to breathe deeper and freer! Yes, many portals. We are so fortunate. ❤
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Excited to see your review. Also excited to get Mike’s book in the mail. I expect to write some more this weekend too. We are so blessed to be together, especially at this time in our evolution. ❤
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I am looking forward to what you write this weekend as well! ❤
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Parfait sounds like a yummy metaphor for what you are going through. I hope you can enjoy your path as much as you would enjoy a parfait.
I can understand being torn between being loving and the temptation to close down when we feel that our behavior is exploited. I think it is best to let intuition guide us. Sometimes that can mean to stay and sometimes to leave.
Burning my hands at a hot stove again and again, staying in shoes which are two sizes too small, or letting myself be exploited repeatedly are probably not the best ways to enlightenment – even if someone else says,”But it is all about acceptance.”
I think it is about acceptance of the inner voice. And if that voice tells me , do not touch the hot stove, then I better follow that. And if that voice would tell me not to interact with certain people, I would better follow that suggestion.
That is merely my conclusion from my experience.
Yours may be different. It sounds tough to be guided into difficult encounters over and over again. I wonder why that happens and hope you find some value or lesson in that in retrospect. Maybe it is a trial by fire of the inner peace.
Enjoy the parfait,
Karin
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Hi Karin,
I do agree with your assessment. I am mostly referring to past attractions. I am blessed to have fewer people in my life that lack character. It all boils down to character and perhaps that further reduces to one’s vibration. often intuition or spirit strongly nudges me to meet someone or get to know someone. Not sure if I am still listening as intently when it is time to let go or put some distance between us.
I prefer the parfait to my life right now, but glad I posted my impressions here. Seems to resonate and encourage sharing. One time I did burn my hand on a hot toaster oven ( as a small child) and till this day I am very mindful of history not repeating. Maybe that accident was helpful in the long run. Recently I chose to let go of some people in my life, just a few. I do not regret knowing them as they bestowed many blessings. But at this time they are not good for me.
This makes the friends I keep so much sweeter 🙂
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About an hour before arriving at your post, my thoughts returned to the past several weeks and the pesty, annoying events that have occurred (in between some good ones!), and the visual of having cream pies thrown in my face seemed to be the best analogy for how I’ve felt lately. One layer of cream and fluff after another… I smiled at our reference to yummy food but I do like your analogy of a layered parfait better! 🙂 I am right there with you, again, my dear! “But to where, to what?” My sentiments exactly. I so know and feel those questions! Coming home from a much-needed vacation, optimism has returned, but those questions linger. Until the answers dawn on us, I love that you are holding open your big heart and sharing here. You are a superb inspiration! Thank you ❤ Happy September! ~Renate
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Behold the connective glue of the Gemini moon! More and more I appreciate the qualities of those with our moon, like Barack Obama on a good day and Wayne Dyer too. I like the layered effect because I can imagine so much taking place at different levels or layers simultaneously.
Truly I am at a loss regarding my purpose or direction. I will continue to be open and use the tools that work for me. So glad I can inspire and have signed on for the open heart. I realize that I rather live with one than without one. Happy September Renate ❤
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Sounds familiar, Linda, particularly in the heightened sensitivity zone around and following the full moon recently (which seems to have had quite an undertow or ‘storm surge’ for a lot of folks!). Wild. And yum, the parfait. Now I want one. 😉 xoxo Love, Jamie
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Wild indeed! Did not feel the effects immediately, guess Neptune fooled me again! You can have a parfait, just close your eyes and imagine. love, Linda
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