This is the first in a series about life on the road with a colon gone rogue. I absorbed so many lessons in a few short days that I hope to share as many as I can remember. Sometimes years of wisdom can accrue in mere days. Time is malleable. So here we go:
Listen to your soap opera: Last Monday evening I had some gas pains. Par for the course. They continued through Tuesday with more pain. I figured it was IBS. I kept on keeping on, not particularly alarmed, though I did sleep poorly. The pain and gas increased on Wednesday and I was not very hungry. The pressure was quite unpleasant, but not unusual. This did not resemble my initial attack. I was watching my soap opera and preparing to go to an appointment. There was a storyline where one of the actresses was ill. Everyone was telling her to go to the hospital, but she kept denying the need to go. I began to fast forward these scenes because they were making me anxious.
I started to get the chills and I found that odd. I took my temperature and it was over 100 degrees. What? I do not feel feverish at all. I knew this was not good so I called my doctor. Guess what, he was on vacation! C,mon now. So I called my GI doctor and she was not available. Talk about lousy timing.
Jesus take the wheel: I cancelled my appointment and looked for Urgent Care. I left my house and I was frightened. Who would support me with my doctor out-of-town? There was snow on my car but I had no strength to clear it. I let the wipers do their thing. I repeatedly told myself to stay focused. My mind was racing and I did not have the luxury to become distracted. I drove to Urgent Care to be told they could not help me. So I drove all that way on a low tank for nothing. I was getting tired and more anxious. Would I make it to the ER in time? I had to use the bathroom but there was no time. I knew that the fever was a sign that I had an infection and needed treatment. I kept praying for help. I was wondering if driving myself was foolish. But I did not want to go by ambulance. I wanted to go to another hospital further from my home. I heard it provided a higher standard of care. Plus my GI was affiliated with this institution.
I did eventually arrive at the ER and man, was I relieved. A couple next to me were discussing waiting for 6 hours. As I listened further, I heard the man referring to 201s and 302s. I realized they were talking about psychiatric commitments. I began to think about my working in the mental health field and the laws that sometimes result in tragedy. I also wondered why I ended up hearing about this topic.
Staying in the present is a constant test for me. I recognize that when successful I come into power and peace. I felt relief that the confines of the moment would push aside any contemplation of past or future.
To be continued….
litebeing chronicles 
Everytime I think about the day I had my stroke, I give thanks – awoke not feeling good, but had to run to bank (20 miles west of me) then drive to job interview (back to the east by 40 miles or so) – fortunately, the country road I drove on was mostly empty, I occassionally noticed, why am I driving only 20mph? and, while standing in the bank, was aware enough to realize, “ooh! look at the pretty pink sparkles that are covering everything! It’s like Barbie land!… Wait…. I don’t think there’s supposed to pink sparkles here…” and managed to drive to the clinic 4 blocks away without killing me or anyone else, though I did cruise through an adjacent parking lot 4 times before I managed to remember, “Not the first left, wait for it, Now! turn left now! ” – Sigh – so glad you made it safely to the ER!
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So sorry I forgot to respond here. I have lost some of my comment moderation momentum. It sounds like you and I were both being guided to safety. If I saw pink sparkles I would have thought I was transcending 3D consciousness, lol!
hugs,
Linda
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Lol. Thoughts of transcending still in my list of “possible, but not probable, yet, so I knew to get help! Lol
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The courage you showed is remarkable, holding your cool in that situation and loved how you are recounting your experience.. Seems you were being prompted by the soap opera, and thank you for sharing your experience.. Sending love and healing thoughts my friend.. Hugs Sue
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Hi Sue,
Thank you so much for acknowledging my courage. It seems that the Universe expects much more of me and I wonder if I will pass the tests. Pop culture is a powerful trigger for me, when I am paying attention.
with love,
Linda
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Oh I am sure you have past many a test.. the important part is not to test yourself or be hard on yourself..
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Hi Linda!
Clearly your writing is doing well! I don’t know how you managed to make me laugh through the descriptions of your episode – literally. I can’t wait to read more, of course knowing “how it ends,” that you are on the other end of the keyboard-monitor-internet thing, and now home. I am so grateful and glad that you found the support to get yourself through this. I know how scary it can feel to go through stuff alone! Doctors not available, people being unable to do anything to help you on the other end of a phone – oh, urgent care! It’s so fortunate that your gas tank held up, and that you knew to go to the hospital due to your likely infection from your temperature and knowing your past history. We cannot mess around with our health. Your artwork seems so tuned-in in retrospect, doesn’t it? I hope your health keeps moving in the best direction. There are some gifts here, no doubt. Looking forward to seeing what you come up with. With this full moon in Virgo coming up, I’m definitely releasing some experiences of victimhood.
Best wishes and much Love,
Ka
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Thank you Ka for your thoughtful impressions. I can see that you get it and sometimes I still find it challenging to see how our circumstances come together in our service when so many things appear to ” go south”. Writing is my salvation, and so is the support of my community.
love,
Linda
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I hear you, and yes, savoring these moments of connection here on WP in the midst of our circumstances, and regardless of them. I am grateful to you for your supportive presence as well ❤ Writing fulfills so much for me, too. I was just recently looking at my double-Gemini house cusps via the Placidus house system (4th and 5th houses). Wishing your Gemini moon its happiest expression and greatest nourishment during your healing times and beyond. xo Ka
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Hey Linda,
“Staying in the present is a constant test for me. I recognize that when successful I come into power and peace. I felt relief that the confines of the moment would push aside any contemplation of past or future.”
“I have a tendency to lump too many threads together so I am taking it slow.”
A good friend whose father was an artist once described the act of doing art as ‘taking a line for a walk.’ I found his statement a wonderfully reductive summation of what can sometimes be a highly complex and overwhelming endeavour. And to that end, I wondered if you had come across the following actively passive exercise during your internet travels or have used it in your therapeutic practice and whether you might consider it a suitable device for contemplation within the immediacy of the present? https://www.zentangle.com/
Delighted to read that despite the difficulties you encountered the road to recovery remained visible and treatment was available to help ease your pain. I hope the wisdom you found in a few days will prevail and inspire you further 🙂
Take good care.
Namaste
DN – 18/02/2016
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Yes, I have heard of zentangle but have not tried it. I feel better today, but still tired. Taking every moment as it comes. More posts are on their way.
Namaste,
Linda
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Pleased to hear of progress 🙂 As a friend once declared, ‘if there is a little light at tunnel’s end then one is at least heading in the right direction, so keep going!’ 🙂
I hope you’ll give the Zentangles a go if for no other reason than it is very relaxing. I introduced it to colleagues at work during a team break-out session and it seemed to offer degrees of success, and even threw up one or two interesting results as well…there were those who used straight lines to define their base structures and filling and those whose focus was more naturally predisposed to curves. I wonder where your preferences will lay?
Take care.
Namaste
DN – 21/02/2016
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Sending healing energy. Hoping you are ok. Looking forward to hearing how you are.
Mary
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I also meant to say that I love your title to this!
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ah thanks! 😀
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I am fair Mary. Thanks for the energy. I can use all of it 🙂 Still in pain with fatigue. Working on patience and acceptance.
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That sounds like a really tough time. Fever and pain and then driving repeatedly to a hospital in the snow. I am so glad that you are home now.
Curious to read more of your story.
Hugs,
Karin
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There will be more. I have a tendency to lump too many threads together so I am taking it slow. Just to clarify, the roads were dry. There was snow on my car and piled up around the roads from a previous storm when we got 2 feet. Still it was harder to navigate because less road was available due to the piles. hugs, Linda
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While I do not watch Soap Operas (or TV fir that matter), I do listen! To my body. Always.
Disheartened to learn of your initial ‘setbacks’ yet encouraged you made it to an ER.
I trust and hope this share yields a positive outcome.
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Thank you Eric for your support. I do pay attention to my body but sometimes get confused by what I “hear.” It is therapeutic for me to write so I will hopefully receive some comfort and healing.
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