This article is my contribution to Barbara’s challenge, A Selection of True Awakening Experiences ~ Part II. This new compilation of material will also be assembled into a free E book for all to enjoy. To familiarize yourself with my initial story, please read about it here. To download the original E book, you can download it now or click on the book icon on the right sidebar at your leisure.
First off, I would like to mention that I did not follow the exact instructions with my initial contribution. Just to clarify, my initial piece was not about my current journey. Rather, I shared my recollections of a profoundly mystical experience that took place in 2005. I did not address my state of consciousness circa 2014. I do not think I considered awakening or ascension when I wrote my post. The idea of soul ascension was not on my radar.
So much has shifted for me since then.
In this second installment, I will share some of my soul’s awakening journey between 2014 and today, plus some other takeaways that may offer inspiration and insight. With both some hesitance and excitement, I offer you a glimpse into the workings of this ever-changing litebeing.
So let’s delve into herstory:
When we last left our heroine, it was early 2006 and she had just quit her secure employment of 18 years. She was so excited about the future and intermittently buzzing from her encounters with James. Transiting Neptune was conjunct her natal ascendant ( house of self) and her inner mystic was resurfacing. Life was a blank canvas, brimming with possibilities..
Here is a brief excerpt from my initial story, where I conclude with some observations and lingering questions:
” The dawn was breaking within my being and the light was beginning to enter my awareness. I was barely waking to what waits beyond the physical plane. The entanglement was both between myself and this young man , and also occurring at the quantum level. Was this awakening fleeting, ephemeral and anomalous? Was it a miracle in the purest sense of the word? Am I still wondering what more can happen as Neptune continues to spend many more years in my 1st house? “
These lingering questions will serve as the blueprint for today’s article, paving the way for reflection and clarity.
Was this awakening fleeting, ephemeral and anomalous?
It is quite the challenge to summarize my journey over the past two years, not to mention the last ten years ( 2006 – 2016) where I began the transition to overhaul my career and overall identity. But I will try my best to describe how I arrived at my present destination. Destination, destiny, hmmm, they have the same root; to make firm or establish.
My awakening is definitely not fleeting, ephemeral or anomalous. I am still barely waking. The more I experience, the less I know. Humility has definitely taken root within my consciousness. I take far less for granted and that is a good thing. Intense peak experiences are absolutely rare and transitory. I highly valued the somewhat occasional extreme mystical openings that have graced my life. My ideas about these topics have shifted since then. I think that it took many years for me to see that over – the – top, trippy, transcendental episodes are not necessarily the bread and butter of spiritual evolution. I thought that the goal was to get as high as possible for as long as possible. Much of my life is filled with oh so subtle wonder. Bizarre transcendental happenings are part of my life, but not on a regular basis. But synchronicity is a daily visitor and the more I acknowledge it, the more plentiful is its presence.
Was it a miracle in the purest sense of the word?
This is a tough question to answer. Initially I was referring to my cosmic meeting with James that I explored here. I will now address it from the perspective of my ability to integrate the energies on the path to awakening. From 2002 through 2006 and up until the present, I have had many a dark night. One could label it depression, dysthymia, dark night, or some other nomenclature. The labels do not make any difference at all. These are intermittent periods of extreme doubt, sadness, disconnection from Source, and/or profound powerlessness. My journey has not been linear by any means. It has been more cyclical in nature.
What has changed for me lately is that I do not dwell in any one emotional state for very long. I still feel anger, resentment, isolation, joy, confusion, bliss, empathy, or neutrality, but they dissipate rather quickly. However, I would characterize this current season as one of illness, loss, confusion, and frustration. However, my connection to Source is quite strong and that is what makes the difference for me. I do feel a bit lost and tired though, but not forgotten or unloved. In some ways, my life has never been as arduous as it is now. And yet, it is also incredibly exciting and mysterious.
There lies the miracle for me.
Am I still wondering what more can happen as Neptune continues to spend many more years in my 1st house?
For the astrologers: As I mentioned in the beginning of this article, Transiting Neptune was conjunct my Ascendant in the summer of 2005. It is interesting to note that James has that placement natally. So one could surmise that I manifested someone to mirror that transit for me. My 1st house is very large as it covers half of Aquarius, all of Pisces, and the beginning of Aries. Neptune will remain in my 1st house until 2026. So this concentrated energy of fantasy, communion, and mystical essence has just begun to alter my awareness and melt into my soul.
Certain significant progressions have also impacted my journey. As my progressed Ascendant moved from Aries to Taurus, I became more focused on how Pluto/Scorpio affects my interactions with others. I also became more interested in family and nurturing as I was about to become an aunt for the first time.
When my progressed sun moved from Sagittarius to Capricorn, life became more serious and purposeful. With both my ascendant and sun now progressed into the Earth element, my focus had turned towards more responsibility with a call to leadership, substantial friendships/partnerships, and a renewed admiration for the natural world. Examples include my sacred encounters with the animal kingdom, power places, and a stronger appreciation for Gaia.
Significant Takeaways
From the Refiner’s fire into a river of love
The past 2 years have been a continuation of spiritual “tests” regarding shaping me into a purer version of my Self. Losses have been many, including loss of professional identity, steady sustainable income, robust health, family members, friends, mentors, and animal companions. This refining process has been somewhat unexpected and definitely traumatic in a variety of ways. What has sustained me is a generosity of spirit from many sources. Some were surprising, to say the least.
One could say that my ability to intuit has led me to be more bold and open. This boldness has opened me up to new people, places, and things that were previously out of reach. While I still tilt closer to introvert on the introvert/ extrovert continuum, I have become more at ease interacting with a multitude of individuals online and offline. I am increasingly being fueled by these exchanges, both creatively and emotionally, not to mention spiritually.
Leaving my city employment brought me back to working full-time in the mental health field once again. The response I received from clients reassured me that I still “had it”, the gifts of compassion and healing I had acquired earlier down the road. Working with creative therapists for many years unleashed a desire in me to re-engage with my inner artist. That re-engagement eventually led to blogging back in 2013.
Lighting the spark of creation
This creative spark has always resided within. The question was, what to do with it? I was tired of simply being a ” friend of writers “. It was time to be a writer once more. By 2014 I was clearly established as a blogger and now working as a therapist and manager of a recovery program. These opportunities have led me to become more interested in how to combine my creative impulses with spiritual service work. My current passion is offering awakening support to those in need, along with expansion of my astrology practice and writing projects. These desires to lead and expand my sights has been guided by spiritual practices and friends new and old. They are nurtured by immersion in the natural world, music, teachers like Matt Kahn and Lee Harris, travel, altered states ( dreams, meditation) and by interaction with other like-minded people. Many of these unofficial guides have been bloggers on this platform. You know who you are.
Thank You
Conclusions
I do not know where this will take me. This needs more time and thought. Or maybe not. I will simply state that I do not know. It is more than outer purpose or creative spark or the stripping away of material goods, loved ones or roles. Seeker, mystic, lightworker, starseed ; they all seem limiting. I will just continue to keep breathing and see what arises.
A musical finale ~David Bowie’s passing is still a difficult pill to swallow. While he remains an enigma, I am certain that he knew me. As a rebellious yet idealistic teen, I played the Hunky Dory album over and over and over, looking for answers. The song Oh You Pretty Things has a catchy melody with intriguing lyrics, but was certainly over my head. In the wake of Bowie’s death, revisiting the lyrics triggered a volcanic reaction to my core. The song is both darkness and light, as is the Earthly experience. Please give it a listen here and you will understand how his influence has informed my awakening.
artwork by Odilon Redon via wikiart.org public domain
litebeing chronicles 
I love the art pieces you selected Linda. Thank you for being part of my world, and my expansion. Lots of love, and healing thoughts ❤
Thanks for sharing soulfully.
Namaste
Sindy
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❤
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thanks for your friendship and sparkle. BTW, did you listen to the Bowie track at the end? I think you will like it 🙂
also appreciate healing energy, please keep it coming…. Namaste
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I look forward to spending more time savoring what you’ve shared here, Linda. Thank you. For now, exquisite and beautiful images, as always! xoxo Love, Jamie
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take your time Jamie. These incredibly long blogs are more like a marathon than a sprint. I welcome your commentary if you are so inclined. Choosing the corresponding art is a labor of love.
❤ Linda
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Reblogged this on Lost Dudeist Astrology.
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thanks
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This is some passionate writing Linda, and what I really am impressed with is where you are now, and how you have captured such an amazing piece of wisdom life presents us all “The more I experience, the less I know. Humility has definitely taken root within my consciousness…” Beautiful.
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Thank you so much Randall for your encouragement. Humility is not my default position, but over time I see how important it is for survival and spiritual development.
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Hi Linda,
This image of the sailboat has been in my consciousness for years. I remember cutting the image out of an art catalogue at some point and decorating a binder or notebook with it. I’m not sure what happened to that binder or notebook due to all the moves. It’s probably actually hidden in a safe place. Wow! What subtle memories this one image brings back to the senses of light and highlights made with color! I’m digesting the content herein and just amazed by how “parallel” our lives are, of course! I love this post at the wonderful time of tranisiting Sun conjunct Neptune. Recently I was looking through my Howard Sasportas book and where I had written in its cover years ago for my future self the reasons I purchased the book. It was Neptune transiting my ascendant, and then opposing my natal sun. Now with Neptune having begun transiting trine to my natal moon, (after being very kind to me with its trine to my natal Venus a few years ago), I was reminiscing about all my years with astrology. Natal Sun trine to natal Neptune in Sagittarius.
Wishing you a continued wonderful awakening! What a great contribution and gentle energy and wonderfully highlighted art works. Have a wonderful Sunday. My brief pause from busyness ~ I spent most of the day yesterday with my astrology buddies and then at the maritime museums. I have much work to do in cleaning my home and preparing for all the studies that lead up to my comprehensive exams at the terms end- Oh i look forward to beautifying my home with the attention I want to give it, turning it into another refreshingly satisfying sanctuary.
After all, it is my home! Happy Awakening, Litebeing! I love this, “Litebeing Rising.” You are Home in yourself! I can feel it! ❤
Cheers,
Ka
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❤ words will come later…
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Thank you sweet Ka for such rich and vibrant commentary. The sail boat has a semi James back story to it and seemed a great way to begin my imagery montage. Neptune Sun combinations are very pure and sacred to me, being a natal Sun Neptune type. This is also why I use art as a central character on my blog. Sometimes words alone are not sufficient. The images I chose are quite bold with color yet in other ways, quite stark. I want to illustrate the dance between boldness and dullness, vividness and subtlety. These contrasts are such a part of my present and recent past. I am curious about what you see as parallel between our journeys if you are inclined to share.
The similarities often bring us closer together.
Hugs,
Linda
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Thank you for sharing more about your fascinating journey.
I have also reread the amazing story about meeting James about how you felt your fields merge and felt so completely loved. That must have been an awesome experience, very transformative.
It is impressive that you have done the leap of faith and left your office job so early.
You have a great connection to Source and observe many synchronicities and have good intuitive abilities.
I wish you success on your path with your work helping others making it through spiritual emergence. That sounds like the right thing to do for someone who is a psychologist and who has been walking the spiritual path for so long.
About the transcendental experiences: I had only very few, and I often wondered whether I missed something. But I read early on in my journey books by Jed McKenna, and he pointed out that it is not about getting mystical highs as often as possible. So, I thought I am fine if I don’t have these experiences.
Another text, it must have been a Raj or Jeshua channeling in the way of mastery series, mentioned that the measure of mastery is how fast one returns to inner peace. So, I thought if that is the important point, then I better invest in being able to return to inner peace instead of trying to get a mystical experience.
And the journey is not linear at all. It is really more like a spiral. Things we thought we were done with come up for a revisit at a later time. It is like that for me, too. And I think it is normal.
Hugs,
Karin
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Hi Karin,
It brings me joy when I hear that you were inspired or lifted by my stories. I agree with you that inner peace is such a worthy goal. I spend much less time there than I do in other states ( synchronicity, dreamtime, etc) But I do seek inner peace as it is the soul’s “birthright” ( for lack of a better term).
We can learn so much by sharing stories and reflections of how we have lived our lives. That is knowledge that I can grab onto,
Hugs,
Linda
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Linda, your journey has taken you through many roads of discovery .Seeing how you have evolved to encompass the synchronisities and how very astute you have been in connecting your Dream Time to the Now Time.. has seen you unfold like the flower you are..
We are never shown our own pathway, well at least I know this is the case with myself.. For the journey if revealed before our experiencing it.. We perhaps would take many detours which would then evade the experience we were meant to encounter.. 🙂
I love how you are now expanding your awareness into your intuitive side.. And I am so proud to know you and to have had first hand knowledge of how expert your field is..
Thank YOU.. Linda for your lovely post.. And I so loved all of the artwork that accompanied each segment.. All fitting in just perfectly with your words…
Love and Blessings and I hope you are well dear friend..
Sending you my love and Hugs .. ❤
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Hi Sue,
I was really struck by this quote you made:
We are never shown our own pathway, well at least I know this is the case with myself.. For the journey if revealed before our experiencing it.. We perhaps would take many detours which would then evade the experience we were meant to encounter..
Honestly, I would have avoided quite a few life experiences if I was given the choice, so I know what you mean. Maybe this is why very few can read their own destiny.
It is a labor of love to pick the artwork. So glad you enjoyed the pieces on display.
love and blessings on their way to you.
❤ Linda
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Yes often our pathways we would not have chosen given the choice.. But then I think back and understand just how my path has taught me so much.. And I am pleased we cannot see around each corner or I know I perhaps wouldn’t have walked around it.. 🙂 to see what was there. 🙂 xxx Love right on back.
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Hi Linda,
First, I thought the pictures you selected to accompany this post were amazing– beautiful, rich and sparse all at once. They really struck a chord. I enjoyed learning more about your process and can relate to the cycles you describe. I think we all circle around through various internal seasons, and that it is the natural process of bring more and more up from our depths and into the light. Without those seasons, we would stagnate in a certain sense.
And not knowing is good… The place to be in my opinion…! It is amazing how the present nudges us into precisely what is most needed, even when we don’t even know it is happening. I know from reading here the last year or two has been up and down, and I send you well-wishes and Love. I’m glad your connection to Source sustains you. I watched part of another Matt Kahn video recently and enjoyed it very much…
Peace and Love
Michael
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Hi Michael,
You got it right with my intention for the art, to showcase the paradox between rich and austere, vivid and mute, etc… A visual metaphor of the past few years of my life.
I appreciate your loyalty to me and my process as a reader and a friend on this collective journey. Matt’s teachings, along with ACIM, Tolle, and others, have helped me make my way in the present, without having to have it all “figured out.” While the water is sometimes choppy, it does provide a safe landing when you leap off the cliff.
love and inner peace,
Linda
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After reading the other post I would say that you have had your fair share of intense spiritual experiences. 😉 Your are much farther along on your path than me – doing so much more spiritual work and connecting people. I wish I could be as far along as you.
And then after reading about James and your experiences with him I am wondering where the heck is my Jame!?? lol Wow! To have that kind of merging here in the physical had to be spectacular! I would not have been able to let go of that. Probably why I have not met my James. Big mess I would make! lol
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Thanks for the feedback.Funny, I would think you are further along than me, lol! It is all about perspective. The James thing was spectacular, but not without its limitations, challenges, etc. Just sayin’ It was not romantic or sexual in the traditional sense, more transcendent and emotional. But it really defies classification, ( not like that stops me from trying to analyze it, hehe).
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True, it’s all perspective. 😉 You have a way with words, though, and I love how you interconnected everything with astrology. You make me want to be an astrologer! If only I had time….sigh.
Whatever happened with your James, I’m jealous. Just sayin’. lol
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Thank you for your kind words. Writing and astrology are both lifelong passions.
regarding James, lol indeed 😀
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It’s so good to read about your journey! ❤ Thank you! And I loved the song. Added it to my playlist.
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thanks! The song is so timely, Bowie was clearly ahead of his time and a glimpse of our collective future.
If you have more to say about this post , I welcome your reactions 🙂
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I am reading your other post, the one about “James”. 😉
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I think you will relate to that one Dayna ❤
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Yes….am already.
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How wonderful to awaken on a Sunday morning and read your sincere words. What a unique journey you share with us… The falling and stripping away of everything known in order to meet the safe and loving force within your core, finding solace being there for others, sharing your own awakening experiences and now surrendering to the Divine part of you to venue into the unknown… with the wonderful intention of feeling whole, joyous and magnificent. Bring it on eh Linda my dear divine friend, nothing will defeat us as our feet are no longer anchored in the limited world but the world of miracles. Thankyou so much for taking the time to join us again in inspiring others to dare wake up. Love Barbara x
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Hi Barbara,
Rereading your comment again today I realize how your words seamlessly echo my intentions for this article. While this was a difficult assignment, it was healing to express the elements of my journey and how I have coped and evolved in reaction to challenges and opportunities. Cosmic friends from all over this planet ( and maybe other planets?) have been the wind beneath my wings, helping me soar despite any doubts or worries.
You are truly welcome
❤ Linda
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