A Mixed Bag

As we move towards the end of 2016, I say , thank goodness. I also say welcome to new followers and readers! I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment and introduce yourself if you like.

It has been such an active, tumultuous, over-the-top, and humbling time for me and many others. Christmas music is playing, cars have trees attached to their roofs, and I am still processing the summer!

A post I wrote last year comes to mind when I reflect on Saturn and Jupiter and how they have impacted me psychologically and spiritually. I only mentioned Saturn at that time, but I see Jupiter as relevant, especially since Saturn is currently residing in the sign of Sagittarius ( ruled by Jupiter.)

When I consider that this season is the Saturn return of my initial Saturn Venus conjunction, the tears begin to flow. I fell in love with a Saturnian man who was older and the relationship felt quite “fated”. Robert Hand says that love is often lost or tested during a Saturn Venus transit, but that a new love may occur of the “fated” quality. That is what happened in my case.

What I am encountering this time around is a profound loneliness and boredom. Life is busy but boring and filled with chores, tasks, and obligations. My social time seems rushed and lacks substance. Life seems very inconvenient and empty.

Here’s an example of how this has been appearing in my journey. There is more money now and I can catch up on buying things that have been necessary but put on hold. I also now can afford books,  some art supplies, and other needs of the soul. But there is a lack of enjoyment or satisfaction. I feel weighed down by pursuing my LCSW while staying in a low – paying, paperwork – heavy job in a poorly run program that is lucky to have me. The LCSW supervisor just flaked on me today ( Sun conjunct Saturn) and I will have to hire someone else soon. She seems somewhat Saturnian to me also ; quite serious, rigid, and harsh.  Yesterday my sole friend at the job just handed in her resignation. She is leaving in part because she feels unappreciated and dumped on, among other things.

But then Jupiter steps in … On Thursday evening my father appeared at the end of a dream, descending down a flight of stairs with energy and youth. He was younger and thin and moved with confidence. He was never like this in “real life”. I was happy to see him so free and full of vitality. Yesterday the company held its holiday party. The sun was sextile Jupiter in Libra and also conjunct my natal Venus ( Sun conjunct Venus in Sag sextile Jupiter in Libra). There were several door prizes given out at the party. I won an early prize and was pleasantly surprised. Later on,  the top prize was awarded to ME! I was given a certificate and was a bit confused because it was not an awards ceremony. It turns out that the certificate was for 2 Phillies tickets with meals and drink at a luxury suite at Citizens Park. I have never won anything of this magnitude before and I was floored. When I looked at the certificate and noticed the Phillies logo, my eyes teared up. My father would have been “over the moon” to receive such a gift. He was an avid sports fanatic and baseball was his favorite game. When we moved to this area, he switched from the Mets to the Phillies and became a relentless Phillies fan. I quickly considered my dream and realized it had a pre-cognitive feel to it. Or possibly this was a sign that my father was watching over me. Then the realization set in that I do not enjoy most sports and that this gift is wasted on me. This is classic Jupiter/Saturn thinking: here I am with an embarrassment of riches bestowed upon me and I don’t enjoy them.

Tomorrow is another day and it is likely my mood will change. Learning recently that the decision to change my program’s funding structure has been postponed for at least 6 months has reduced some pressure that was weighing heavily on me. More books arrived today and perhaps one of them will help me shift my perspective. But hey, life is not always rosy and it is important to acknowledge where we are at any given moment. Thanks for letting me vent and illustrate the wonder of astrology at the same time.

Speaking of astrology, I will announce the winner of my challenge very soon!

first image credit ~ wikipedia.org, public domain