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Staycation Wind-up

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Howdy litebeings! Happy New Aquarius Moon, Happy Mars in Aries, and Happy Chinese New Year ( Rooster Year) ! There is so much energy unleashed and most of it is in fire and air. Currently I have many planets in my 12th house ( including the new moon) so I embarked on a stay-cation. Many of my recent vacations over the past few years have been of this variety, simply because I did not have the funds to travel. But as an INFJ, it is imperative that I have periodic escapes from people, places, and stimulus overload. So I allow myself time to disconnect from obligations and stressful activities. Be aware this is a LONG entry, even though I left some material chronicling my activities out,

Thanks in advance to those who choose to read the entire post!

Pre-staycation:

Pent-up emotions, fire and more: Thursday January 12th, the day before my last day of work, I noticed a vehicle with the word fire on it. The visual stuck with me. This happens often, where a word or phrase will leap out to me and make an impression. That evening I was preparing some loose herbal tea and I filled the kettle practically to the top. It boiled over and all the pilots on the stove went off. When I was unable to re-light them and smelled gas, I called maintenance. I was told I had to call 911. They sent over a fire engine and a team of firemen! I felt so foolish, but it was protocol. I link this with seeing the fire vehicle in the morning and also with an intensification of emotion.

Friday the 13th madness: Moving into my new position at work and relocating my office was more challenging than I imagined. I found myself to be very hyped and agitated. The day before vacation ( Friday January 13th) was when I decided to change offices and I was incredibly anxious. There is a circular path on the campus on which my office is located and after lunch I took a brisk walk around the track. It helped me clear my head, but I still managed to drop a box I was carrying in the hallway. The energy was so intense and I was about to short-circuit.

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Astro-nuggets: The current transits have been brutal for me personally: Chiron square my moon , Saturn opposing my moon, and Pluto opposing my Mars have done quite a number on my emotional body and personal will. I have been feeling very aggressive and quite alienated, as if there is a wall between myself and other people.  I have engaged in some nasty road rage when provoked and distanced myself from a few people on Facebook. This nastiness and brashness is a blast from the past. I have not felt so moody in many, many years. I feel like I am held hostage in a state of perpetual PMS!

Knowing the astrology does help, but I think there is more to it. I have felt bombarded by the post-Election world where there is a clash between our highest nature and our darkest instincts. My old wounds around jealousy, righteous indignation, and competition have risen to the surface. I want to clarify that even at my least conscious, I only act out if provoked ( Mars in Cancer). I had hoped the stay-cation would give me the break I needed to administer self-care and address the flood of negativity.

So how did I spend my time? Well, thanks for asking! Here are the highlights of a week that was punctuated by grey skies, cold rain, and a power outage at my home. I envisioned this time as a 12th house hibernation where I would simply read, write, watch movies, and draw. It turned out to be less me-time than I had desired, but I did get to decompress a little.

Books I am reading: The Red Book Liber Novus by Jung, The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer, and What if This is Heaven ? By Anita Moorjani.

I have just skimmed over the Red Book, savoring its majesty. I can tell I am in for a treat. I also glossed over What if This is Heaven by Anita Moorjani, not feeling it as much as Dying to Be Me, her initial book about her NDE. Most of my reading time was devoted to Dyer’s The Power of Intention. I will explain why later on in this post.

 Women mentors: I had two meetings that week, one with my Spiritual Director and the other with my new clinical supervisor. I was able to address my feelings of isolation and disconnection with my Spiritual Director, who I have been working with for several years. My initial meeting with my new supervisor was a bit awkward, particularly because of the intense cold rain and the clamor inside the diner, but I sense we will form a solid relationship. I just have to take it easy and adjust to a different personality while navigating a new routine. We shall see how this plays out.

Animals on the Other Side, part II : It turns out that the live webinar with Danielle MacKinnon that I registered for was happening in the afternoon during one of my vacation days. I was not home for  the live streaming of Part I of Animals on the Other Side so I was glad the Part II coincided with my free-time. She encouraged us to email her questions prior to the program so I asked her about how our former pets guide us to pick new ones. She actually chose my question as one of the few selected, but it did not comfort me. What I really wanted was a reading and she chose other participant for those. The webinar confirmed that my grief over Dexter is far from complete and that I am stunned to realize he has been gone for about 18 months. It seems like only a few months, but it is moving towards 2 years this July. I still miss him so very much.

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Tinkering with art: I started this piece from an adult coloring book weeks ago but finished it up right at the end of stay-cation. Using colored pencils was a somewhat novel endeavor for me, but I enjoyed the departure from pencil and crayons.

Films : Dream is Destiny, 20th Century Women . I viewed  Dream is Destiny at home. It is a documentary about Richard Linklater and it was not shown locally. He is my favorite filmmaker and this piece commented on his passion of playing with the concept of time. This is one of the reasons I find his work so compelling. I was going to see 20th Century Women, a film about a single mother during the 1970s,  after a sushi lunch with a friend on Inauguration Day. But the rain was relentless and I just wanted to get home. I plan to see it hopefully before it leaves the theaters. Arrival is another must-see when it “arrives” on On-Demand. The main objective is to not watch the inauguration. Mission Accomplished!

New 2017 practice: I had to do something about the anger, hopelessness and loneliness I have been experiencing. Nothing was getting through. The death of Paul, the drama at work, and the change in the US government was taking its toll on me. The acting out behaviors were a sign that I was out of balance.  It occurred to me that I needed to move the energy around. So I re-dedicated myself to the Create My Day ritual invented by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I first discovered him on the What the Bleep Do We Know? film around 2005. His work on using the Quantum Field is also featured in Wayne Dyer’s book The Power of Intention so I am reading Dyer’s book while watching this video each morning. The emphasis is on focusing on what you want and aligning yourself with higher vibrations in the process. One of my favorite Dyer quotes is ” If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Indeed!

My 12th house wounds have been controlling me and I am through with shadow-work. I have cleared enough for an eternity of lifetimes. This exciting approach combines science with spirituality in a way that research has shown to be effective. Sometimes you have to change it up. The week flew by and this lightning pace is the new normal. Practicing observer consciousness is my way through for now.

and finally….

High-tech self-discovery: Since all the planets are now direct, I decided to embark on an adventure that has interested me for over ten years. Around 2006-07, genealogy had begun to increase in popularity. In addition, DNA tests were made available to the public. While I was quite curious about unraveling more about my lineage, the price was quite high so I put it on hold. Now the tests are very affordable and the technology is more advanced. So I ordered a test from Ancestry.com and it arrived yesterday! I am very excited to learn more about my origins. I will keep you updated as I discover more about my heritage. It is high time that I immerse myself in my passions and dreams.

If not now, when?

Here’s an oldie but goodie by the Go-Go’s ~ an all female band:

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Do Stuff Now

Now that the Sun has moved into Aquarius and Mars has passed its square to Saturn, I say ” Do Stuff NOW”.  Now until February 6th that is, when Jupiter goes retrograde. You could um, get inaugurated, protest, set intentions, write a blog post, do a vision board… Hopefully I will be able to find some time soon to catch you up with how I have been spending my Staycation.

In the meantime, enjoy this reblog 🙂

litebeing chronicles

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We have between now and January 4th 2016 to be active without restrictions, delays, snafus, etc. When Uranus stationed direct on Christmas Day, we entered a rare planetary occurrence. All planets are moving in direct motion. Now that the Christmas hoopla has ended, we can use these next few days to get movin’. On January 5th Mercury goes retrograde again, this time in the sign of Aquarius. I suggest you ignore the Mercury shadow in effect and have some fun.

Here are some suggestions:

Take a bike ride on an unfamiliar route

Write a letter using calligraphy

Book a trip to a quirky village

Throw out stuff ( junk) you never use

Take a yoga class

Host a party with a wild theme

Adopt an animal or two

Start a dream journal

If you have not already done so, begin a blog ( or add a new one)

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Get in…

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Art is My Medicine ~ Winter’s Bones Edition

Hey litebeings,

Winter is incredibly damp and frosty today, chilling me to the bone. It is high time for some art therapy to the rescue. Today’s featured art is by hishida shunso.

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I was inspired by the muted colors and soft imagery, not to mention the hydrangea symbolism that reflects my Gravatar.

image credits ~ wikiart.org, public domain

Review: Dispelling Wetiko by Paul Levy

I have been hinting for some time that the state of our planet is a symptom of our collective shadow. This book review of Dispelling Wetiko by Paul Levy truly articulates my ideas in a grounded, cohesive format. Thank you Jessica for this fascinating post.

Adventures of a Reluctant Mystic

dispelling-wetikoThis week Zoe is reading Dispelling Wetiko by Paul Levy, which explores the collective psychosis now gripping our culture and challenges us to look inside ourselves for answers. The name ‘wetiko’ comes from Native American cultures and refers to a spirit or wicked person who terrorises others through its evil acts. Wetiko is an archetype that arises from the collective unconscious, a psychic virus that represents the nightmare we’re all dreaming up together.

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Poetry ~ The Guest House

Alia’s comment on my Just a Bad Day post prompted me to remember Rumi’s remarkable The Guest House piece. As I navigate transiting Pluto opposing natal Mars along with my moon being hit by both a square from transiting Chiron and an opposition from transiting Saturn, it is comforting to remember that this “shit storm” of emotional fallout is preparing me for some future state of being. Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end. May we all transition gracefully and with some guidance from Rumi.

 

 

header image of Gwynedd Friends Meeting by litebeing chronicles © 2016

litebeing chronicles

I did not plan to blog today. While in the midst of a personal emotional roller coaster ride, I learned of the passing of Nelson Mandela. When I considered the magnitude of his challenges, I realized that I could benefit from a serious perspective shift.   So I  decided to take my temporary angst and convert it into a fine elixir of truth. Rumi always works for me during moments like these. I have shared this poem on this blog once before, but I never tire of its message…

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The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you…

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Just a Bad Day, 12th house Woes

OMG I have to re-blog. I was meeting today with my spiritual director and thinking about the Sun ( and now Pluto ) transiting my 12th house. Then I went to a restaurant for lunch and two songs that were playing got my attention, Closing Time and Bad Day. I knew they were relevant. I remembered using Bad Day as a blog title. So a few hours later I am perusing my 12 house posts and this comes up! Hopefully this message will be helpful, especially to those who dread the US inauguration.

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I am not complaining, I promise.

Just wanting to be real in the moment. Ever have a day that seems to be off course from the minute you leave your bed to the minute you crawl back in? Yup, that’s today and it is happening to me. Despair and darkness surround me and even with the heat cranked up to the highest setting, it is utterly freezing! It is so 12th House today.

I am writing just to express my condition. My prayers appear unanswered but I am not certain. I keep feeling my feelings and reminding myself that I am being prepared for something beyond my imagination. I just don’t see anything beyond the chill in my bones and the bleak dark night.

Love is everywhere and I am aware of love’s inherent triumph. I just feel empty and powerless and unreachable. My ego is in hog heaven, lapping…

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By Lidija296 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Happy 4th litebeing chronicles! ~ Fourever Yours

abundance.jpg welcome to my blog

Happy 4th birthday litebeing chronicles! Hundreds of posts, over 750 followers and counting and a glorious community that has been my lifeline, all began with the desire to speak my truth and a courageous intention to let everything fall into place as it may. And here we are!

I already published my new year’s blog, so today’s entry will be brief. I reviewed my very first post and realize that my goals are the same. My initial intention was – and still is, to share the “little things” that are not really little after-all, and let them speak, to give them a voice.

Here’s an example from yesterday :

I am facilitating a new group for younger, more recently diagnosed clients and it is just the three of us. I asked the others to share happy memories and some of their talents and gifts. The participants are hesitant to share as this is a new project and trust has to be developed. It turns out that one person was a comedy writer and the other a poet; one dreamed of being an actor and the other dreamed of being an actress. The three of us are writers in various stages of creative process across our lifespans. One participant spoke of  a mini breakthrough that occurred recently. He described it as ” a glimmer of light”.  I grinned to myself . We have something here.

A glimmer of lite. That’s all that is required to awaken. A flash of insight, a familiar melody, an unexpected encounter, a telling dream… This is why I write and why I continue to share, regardless of obstacles that continue to cross my path. That glimmer is sacred. It welcomes each and every one of us back to consciousness, to helps us find our way back home.

Thank you to readers both old and new. Please say hello and let me know you are here! It is wonderful to notice such an increase in new readers. Yet so few take the time to like or comment. I know our lives are busy, but if my words move you in any way, please let me know.

Here I have copied my very first blog, written on 1-11-13 for all of you to read. For many this will be an initial glimpse of my ” mission statement”. Since this is the fourth year and 4 signifies a foundation, I believe this article provides the grounding that led me to this point. 

Thanks again for all the love and support along the way. 

Fourever yours, litebeing

Hello world and welcome to my first blog. I have decided that since we survived the Mayan Apocalypse that I would chronicle my Divine encounters for 2013. The purpose of this project is to chronicle my ordinary experiences that are colored with that ” something extra”, the inexplicable sparkle that hints of the Source.

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I recently have begun to link my identity with litebeing because it accurately describes my current state of being. I have been on a spiritual quest most of my adult life and thought I had this journey thing nearly figured out. I have had some mind-blowing experiences with groups and individually, have been able to really tap into my intuition, and have been able to use these gifts in serving others as a therapist, social worker, and astrologer. Yet, I have recently become more awakened and as a result of this process discovered that I have only begun to glimpse the true nature of life on this planet. So I downgraded myself from a lightbeing to a litebeing.

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Joy of Life by Josephine Wall

I intend to blog weekly about my adventures living as a spiritual being having a human experience. However, the frequency will depend on how much there is to share. My goal is to share my stories so others will be able to take a closer look into their own ordinary encounters in a more conscious way. I plan to do so with humor, candor, and authenticity.  Above all, I aim to inspire.

Come along with me on this journey , share comments, and  let me know how its going for you.

Happy 2013!!!!

header image credit ~ By Lidija296 (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons 
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The Starman at 70 ~ Happy Forever David Bowie

David Bowie, had he lived, would have spent 70 years on Earth as of today. 70 reduces to 7, a sign of mysticism and Christ Consciousness, associated with the planet Neptune. While Bowie had elements of all the collective energies in his chart, Neptune is certainly well-presented. Artistry, musicality, acting, illusion, drugs, mystery, chameleon, shape-shifter, fashion, glamour, fluid identity, all very Neptune.

Rather than rehash what I have recently written, I rather provide links to various posts that include him in some way. You can choose which posts seem appealing and then discover how Bowie fits in.

My favorite Bowie album, Hunky Dory was a response to the transition to adulthood and becoming a father. It is about growth and maturity. In our society, 70 is considered a milestone and definitely elderly. With Capricorn natives , there is this age-reversal phenomenon a la Benjamin Button ; they get younger and freer over time. I think David would have appreciated that idea and hopefully embraced it.

https://litebeing.com/2016/11/18/sludge-party-neptune-direct/

https://litebeing.com/2016/02/27/a-selection-of-true-awakening-experiences-part-ii-litebeing-rising/

https://litebeing.com/2016/01/18/fill-your-heart/

https://litebeing.com/2016/01/17/timeless-tunes-updated-2/

https://litebeing.com/2016/01/16/share-my-world-2016-edition/

https://litebeing.com/2016/01/11/3-years-in-the-making/

https://litebeing.com/2015/06/09/moon-in-pisces-kinda-mood/

https://litebeing.com/2013/06/30/musing-we-can-be-heroes-just-for-one-day/

I just found out via google that an old lover Paul has died. He was only 55 years old and I am guessing drugs were involved. We were seeing each other when I was in my late teens and I have not heard from him in eons, but he had been on my mind lately. Watching a show today on Iggy Pop reminded me that we had seen him once in concert. That memory prompted me to google him. Iggy Pop and David Bowie were very close. Iggy said that David resurrected him.  Paul loved all kinds of music and that is one thing we shared in common. I think music kinda resurrected Paul, offering healing and magic. I know it has that effect on me.

I will dedicate this song to Paul and in memory of Bowie ( born David Jones). We met in 1978 when Heroes came out. I recall that Paul liked this tune and I think he would approve.

2017: Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End

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Life is always in flux. While some forms are fading, others are blooming. The trick is to recognize which direction you are moving in and when to let go.

It is humbling to be nearing my fourth year of blogging and to be able to compose some thoughts about the year ahead and the year I lived through. The more I slow down, the easier it is for me to notice that existence has no clear demarcations. Astrologers love cycles and make mention of the significant planetary movements via stations, transits, and progressions. And yet, because of our cosmic fluency, we are perhaps more likely than most to acknowledge the fragility and malleability of time. Time and music marry well together and led me to use Closing Time in this post title.

To understand where I am today, it is necessary to return to April 2016. At the New Aries moon conjunct Uranus on April 7th, I began to quietly look for jobs while feeling ill. In fact I saw my doctor that very day.  I was being treated for a possible diverticulitis attack on an outpatient basis, thank goodness. One by one calls for interviews slowly began streaming in. You know, when it rains it pours. This was right before the Mars retrograde at 9 degrees Sag on 4-17-16. The day before my first job interview ( April 14th) I felt ill. I went to the doctor that morning with chest pains. This has happened before. I was cleared and happy to report my gut was much improved. About an hour later I felt waves of nausea and what seemed to be a knife going through my reproductive organs. No fun at all.

I had a decision to make, a huge one. Do I continue to live walking on eggshells or do I start living again? I did something so unlike me: I got ready for my interview and drove over while in excruciating pain. I told myself I would power through this. I knew I was close to two hospitals and that whatever will happen, will happen. It was as if I reached the point of no return. I will live in this body or I will leave this body. I was through living on the sidelines. So I completed the interview and was amazed at my accomplishment. I felt worse as evening came and called myself an ambulance. I spent the night in the ER  and was released on April 15th.  The tests  found nothing wrong with me whatsoever. Yet my symptoms continued.  I was given opioids and anti-nausea meds and told to see my gynecologist to rule out fibroid issues. I was obsessed with not taking too many opioid pills. I think I was tuning into the Prince situation as he was hospitalized around the same time as me and died from an opioid overdose.  A few hours later a call came in for another interview. Two days later as Mars stationed retrograde ( close to my MC), I had a defining dream. It ushered in a sense of renewal regarding many aspects of my daily life. I blogged on it here as part of my challenge post.

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The interview call I received on April 15th turned into my current job. I still have this poster on my office wall. When I saw the poster, I became tearful. It was both so unexpected and so necessary. It is interesting that Mars, the ruler of Aries triggered my job search and eventually landing this position and also triggered my announcement of my transfer which begins on Monday. To some degree, the New Cap moon square Uranus direct in Aries signaled the new year cycle. Uranus is always change and Aries is the first sign on the zodiac. I was offered the transfer the day before the new moon and we made it official the next morning December 29th. The energy shifted for me that morning and I sensed more peace. While I am sad to see my friend move on, her decision to leave led to an opportunity for me to take her position. I will still have the same role, but with new clients and some new staff. With two of the new colleagues I have already built an easy, pleasant rapport. I also get to move my office to a more spacious and private location. I am hopeful it will be a more harmonious move on all fronts.

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I have some great news regarding my health. After working with Wendy the herbalist/nutritionist for about 6 months, we reran some blood tests to track my progress. My primary doctor was stunned to report that my sugar levels dramatically decreased and this was without any medications! He said the change was significant and had to be attributed to lifestyle change. All my liver function blood tests were normal too. I still have to work on the LDL cholesterol, but it  is very significant that I went from diabetic range to borderline normal range on the A1C. I typically don’t like to go into such details here, but I want to suggest that if I can make this work that others can do the same. I am taking probiotics, drinking  a special herb combination in tea form,  decreasing  refined carbs, and adding more bitter greens and whole grains, among other things. While I will stress there is more to do and that I have regained a few pounds, it is so cool to see that I am capable of effecting change.

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So the promise of April with a dream of accomplishment and improved health led me to now. While I still have a void inside that is palpable ( Saturn transiting natal Venus return), my life has really changed since 2016. I have a new job, a new car, and better functioning pancreas and liver ( I am speculating based on the labs). I believe that the action of going to that job interview sick as a dog was a way of transcending the material 3D plane and operating as if I was pure spirit. We still have no idea what caused those symptoms, but it may have been associated with the antibiotics I was taking at the time. Or not.

I am so grateful to be working after about 18 months of unemployment and find it ironic that I keep seeing my former supervisor and supervisees at the last few mental health trainings. It appears to be more of this intermingling of the past, present, and future that I frequently write about on these pages. Time is fleeting and infinite, slow and rapid, stagnant and effervescent. We humans feel the impulse to label and celebrate time as a matter of ritual.

So here’s to a sparkling 1-7-17 to all, with Mercury stationing direct tomorrow ( 1-8-17) and 1-11-17 following close behind.