Peace Among the Ruins

wikipedia public domain

I am at peace. I woke up this way after a long uneventful sleep. Many hours later, this feeling nurtures my soul. I could attribute it to the new moon conjoining my natal moon ( 1 degree away) and Jupiter retrograding tomorrow exactly conjunct my natal sun. But I do not think it has anything to do with it!

Every so often I enter this spaciousness and one of the gifts at my disposal is to carry over my dream life residue into my waking life. This is not easy to describe, but if you are a “dreamer”, you will understand.

I attribute this blessing as a grace that may have arrived because I allowed myself to feel my pain and grief. I have been pummeled by the sudden deaths of Anthony Bourdain and a former patient. I see these losses as unnecessary and tragic. But guess what, we do not get to judge.

I have found myself reciting the Serenity Prayer often these past few days:

The Serenity Prayer

God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.

 

 

I am also moved to include a quote that I find helpful in time of tragedy:

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That’s how the light gets in.

Leonard Cohen

 

Sometimes we become immersed in an experience the dwells outside of time, space, astrology and it is seemingly paradoxical. A few days before the pummeling began I saw a job advertisement to run programming for a Grief program. While it seemed in some ways like an unlikely fit, my guidance nudged me with a quiet whisper. Only a couple of days after I emailed the organization, I was contacted for a phone interview. I was quite surprised since I did not seem a logical choice. The interview took place less than a day after I learned of my former patient’s death. I carried on with the interview anyway and allowed myself to just go with the flow. I was given feedback that I would bring a lot to the position. While I do not know where this will take me, I follow my nudges more and more each day. I am living proof of someone who can hold sadness in one hand and hope in the other. I threw out my back on Monday, yet I feel less restriction today. 

What I want to convey to you dear readers, is that paradox is not an anomaly and that we can all heal and recover. It does not mean that I have finished grieving. It does mean that if you can read my words, you are still most likely alive! I do not know about anyone else, but I plan to live my life with passion and exuberance. This is not about spiritual bypass, but about gratitude for having the gift of spiritual embodiment into form.  While chaos swirls around and life is anything but smooth or certain, peace does prevail and vulnerability is a strength.

 

Blessings to you on this New Gemini Moon!

 

header image courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

13 Comments

  1. I know this feeling you speak of, and it is bliss, Long may your dream time feeling of peace last in your waking world Linda.

    First I have to say I love the new PINK.. And your theme.. It suits your Peace among the ruins theme perfectly as does the roses
    So sorry to learn you former patient passed and I had to look up Anthony Bourdain, not known to me..
    Seems many are now taking their transition to their next adventures.

    Yes the lines of your quote Ring true, it is through the cracks the light seeps through.

    Wonderful that you are following the ‘Flow’ and it is the best guide when we follow our gut.. Sorry to hear you hurt your back.. The human part of you holding you back trying to resist change and allow you to move forward. But so pleased you are not letting that nagging get you down, which means you will move with ease through to your next phase of BE-ingness. 🙂
    Love it when things start to fall into place.

    We would not be human if we did not honour our emotions and the hurts we feel especially in grief and loss and when in pain..
    It is our resolve and strength via going through such emotions that we grow in strength..

    Have a wonderful NEW MOON.. And sending LOVE and Blessings your way Linda..
    Take care my friend
    Sue xx ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Sue on your words of wisdom. I also enjoyed hearing your feedback about the theme. Sometimes the blog needs to be updated, just like this writer!

      I almost immediately got why my back went out. It was just hours after I learned about my patient’s passing. I have felt burdened and also tempted to wallow in the past, as you described. But I can grieve and still move forward on this journey I am on.

      That peaceful glow was fleeting, but taught me that emotional and energetic states wax and wane. Throughout everything and no -thing is love, where peace thrives.

      love,
      Linda

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I am glad to read that you are at peace. Thanks for sharing. Your message sounds encouraging and full of hope. I hope you get a job which you enjoy a lot.
    Best wishes for the health of your back.
    Hugs,
    Karin

    Liked by 1 person

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