Who Are You ? Part 3

I have a strong nudge to write something today and per usual, have become sidetracked. Yet I began this post while the moon is still in Gemini. This is important to me because once a year the sun enters Scorpio with the moon conjunct my natal moon. This year it happens right at the start of Scorpio season. Additionally, in this moment ( 10/25/21 late afternoon) , I am also having my Venus return, right to the degree and minute. One would think this would be exciting and cozy. One would hope right? In my case a very close alignment with my natal Moon Venus Opposition, a time for mutable movement , financial gain and/or abundant beauty ( I just won a Mookaite Jasper pendant moments ago!). All these astro synchs ought to convey a feeling of oneness with the day. This is why this entry is entitled Who are You ?  Am I my chart or am I truly a reflection of what I have not healed? Or something bigger than I could ever imagine while encased in physical form?

Well, I went outside today because the weather is unseasonably warm and i have been wanting to take more foliage pictures. For some unexplainable reason, I was followed by buzzing flying insects. I have a huge fear of bee stings, which is odd because I do not recall ever being stung. When I come home after my “photo shoot”, my shoulder hurts and I begin to obsess about being stung. Mind you I have not seen any bees, wasps, or yellow jackets today. All I saw was small flying insects, probably mosquitos.  I was wearing a jacket and dark clothing, but they still were relentless. No problem though, because my experience is in synch with the theme of this post. Read below to learn about Mosquito medicine. Some of my current energetic issues stem from the first mosquito message.

Here is some info on Mosquito symbolism taken from this site:

When Mosquito buzzes into your life as a Spirit Animal, it bears one of several messages. The first has to do with paying too much attention to trite, superficial matters. Use your energy in far better ways. Never release your will power when nagged incessantly.

Next, the Mosquito Spirit Animal challenges you to look long and hard at the places where you spend a lot of time and the company you keep. Are they healthy or sucking you dry? Sometimes people don’t recognize when something is bothering them because they’ve been in a toxic environment so long it feels normal. Figure out what needs to change, make alterations, then take a real bite out of life’s joys again.

Third, your Mosquito Spirit Animal has a message about attention—what you receive, what you give out, what you desire, and what you block. Sometimes you want attention, but when you put your message out to the Universe, what you receive might differ from your hopes considerably. The treatment you receive may get under your skin.  Then, too, there are the unspoken proclivities and inclinations you project in various ways. Others can interpret your body language and gestures far differently from your intent. So take your time in your actions and reactions, realizing that you too may misinterpret things.

My inability to ignore the small stuff is part of my shadow. My worry about health and mortality can be consuming and paralyzing. The pandemic definitely makes things more intense, but I have had this issue for years. It turns out I was not stung by anything. I have a pronounced sensitivity to physical pain which makes ailments sometimes appear more serious than they are. It is really difficult to take this into consideration when I feel unwell. Last night I lightly hit my head on the tile wall while in the shower. I obsessed last night about a possible concussion and read many articles online. After reflecting on more serious car accidents and falls, it became more likely that I was not at risk. My head still hurts as does my jaw and shoulder but I have had left shoulder pain for many years. I am left handed and my chiropractor said it is more common to have neck and shoulder stiffness and pain on the dominant side as we age. This can really be debilitating. I think this obsessing about  details is a function of my INFJ personality. I have read that this can happen with this archetype under stress. I had planned to drive to Longwood tomorrow but now I am scrapping this plan, yet again. I want to be at peace with whatever transpires but I am not at peace. I am so eager to get in my car and drive far away to explore the beauty of the season. The confinement I feel is so suffocating, and sooooo 12th house!

Enjoy more of the pictures I took on 10/25/21 that hint of this season:

My moon in Gemini can also lead towards distraction as well. But I do not think that’s the issue at hand. On some level it is easier to let my fear run wild and illuminate all the anxieties I usually keep at bay. I know this liminal time is a great time to seek guidance and fellowship with the unseen, to connect with what dwells beyond the material video game we all agree to be playing. So I will commune with positive spirit forces, including well ancestors and animal totems, to gently share their wisdom tonight. Perhaps this gesture of public venting will set in motion some clarity and resolution. While I do not consider Samhain to officially begin until we reach 15 degrees Scorpio, I am aware that the masses invoke this energy on Halloween.  Enjoy this new song I found that is evocative of the ambivalence about one’s dark side.