Delicate ~ An Anatomy of a Relationship

Update: Facebook has an uncanny ability to stir up memories without warning. Apparently a year has gone by since I last posted pictures on FB from my last days working at a certain rehab in Bensalem, PA.

While this post has been sitting in the private archives for almost a year, I am resurrecting it now ( in time for Easter, ha!) to let it see the light of day. I understand from this vantage point how much my time spent in that setting (with a selection of incredibly influential  human Be – ings) continues to shape my present moments so profoundly.

Many readers responded so well to this material and I appreciate all the support, then and now.

Namaste


Caution: this is a loooong entry, so read at your own risk! However, if you really want to know me better and on another level, keep reading.

Okay, here goes nothing. I am fueled by smoked gouda and Merlot, ready to bare my soul. However, this post will not stay up here for long. I typically do not write this kind of material online. But inspired by the likes of my pal Dayna, whose blog I so admire, I figure, why the hell not? She writes so openly about her intimate experiences and through her vulnerability, I learn so much. So maybe something good will come of this. Plus I need to do this for myself. I need to purge the thoughts out of my self and onto “paper.”

After a night of cathartic crying, I decided I needed to write about this man I know. Yesterday I had brought home a bottle of Merlot and was relishing a peaceful evening with a restful sleep as my reward. Would you believe me if I told you the corkscrew broke in the cork and I could not open the bottle? This really happened and seems like a perfect representation of the past few weeks. Not getting what you want, even when it is staring you in the face. Today I bought a new corkscrew and another bottle of wine. So I go on to live another day encased in this material world , wondering what the hell is happening to myself and this beloved planet. Transiting Mars conjunct Pluto is in my 12th house of the hidden and unconscious. While this is new territory for me, as an empath I tend to pick up emotions from far and wide, along with my own. I am not handling it very well at all. Not lately, anyway.

It has been a good while since I felt something real for a man, that I figure it would be smart to jot it all down before it fades away. It certainly took me long enough to recognize what was going on. But I do understand why that is the case. More and more I see life as we know it as fated. All we can control is our reactions.

I could blame it on the Bensalem mojo that goes back all the way to 1982. When I was 21, I moved from New Jersey to Philly to complete my senior year of college and move in with a friend and her roommate. I needed a part-time job to help with expenses and found one as a residential advisor for IDD clients,  all the way in Bensalem. People who knew Pennsylvania well asked me why on Earth was I planning on driving all the way from West Phila to Bensalem for a part-time job? What was I thinking? I told them I had to take this job. I felt it in my bones, but there was no rational explanation.  I was willing to drive this distance, god knows why. Stubborn as I am, I took the job. The residence was located in a small housing development called Winding Brook. This gig was boring and not really worth the trouble. But within a few days I was dating the man who lived upstairs. We were not exactly coworkers, but operated in different programs on separate  floors of a two story house.  His pictures from his recent trip to India made a huge impression. The job did not last long, but since he lived upstairs ( he ran the program upstairs) I continued to trek up to Bensalem regularly to be with him. I drove by a rehab facility on the way to his house/my former work. It had an interesting name and I could only see the sign from the road. I was intrigued and so curious about this place. Little did I know I would be working there over 30 years later!

While my boyfriend and I eventually broke up, it was worth the drive. He was very special to me and we would move in and out of each others’ lives over the decades. The connections to Bensalem would continue to grow. A good friend of mine from graduate school would on his own initiative , get a job in the same program where my ex once lived. I remember calling him there and talking with a former coworker on the phone.

Then a few years later I met a man while working for the City. We both lived in Phila at the time. He took me to lunch and we got to know one another better. It turns out he used to live in Bensalem on that very same cul-de-sac. It also turned out that he worked with one of my clients from that program. For me that sealed the deal and I knew we would become involved. And we did.

He was, so far, the great love of my life.

Bensalem was beautiful then, and I had dreams of moving to Bucks county.  There was so much land and wide open spaces. There was promise. So one could say that Bensalem had its hold on me for a time.  But I moved on. So did the men I met from that cul-de-sac.

Back in September I applied to several jobs as an outpatient therapist. A few were by an organization that runs the aforementioned rehab. One day I received a call and saw the organization’s name on my caller ID. To my surprise, it was not about any of the jobs that I applied to. It was for a job as a rehab counselor in Bensalem. I asked the woman on the other end why she was calling. She said she saw my resume and thought I might be interested. This made no sense, since I had little experience with inpatient rehab and it was rather far way. But I took the interview and got the job. I took the job because it was that place in Bensalem, just a few blocks away from Winding Brook.

I then devoted the next few months of my life to little else. The commute was brutal, but I was committed. I wanted to work in addictions and felt called to do this work. I fell in love with the work and the place.  Initially I thought it was the best job I ever held. My impressions did not last, but my affection for my clients did. And then there was this man I met.

My office was located in ” the dungeon” with three other therapists. Everyone else was housed upstairs. My office was number 13! At first I did not like this arrangement, but later I came to appreciate it. I began to know a man whose office was right across the hall. He was certainly not my type and I wasn’t thinking about romance anyway.

What is my type you ask? Tall, wiry, confident, mysterious, charming and elusive. Sometimes he would be a “bad boy’ and he definitely played by his own rules. He was passionate, intense, and not so great with commitment.  The astro profile typically would be Sag or Cap rising, a fixed moon sign, and lots of fire and water in the chart. Along with the fire/water emphasis was a heavy dose of Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. I liked to play with cosmic “fire” and often got burned beyond recognition emotionally. No wonder I decided to quit the game of love.

So let me tell you about this guy: He seemed very familiar to me, but in an unfamiliar way. I knew his voice , from somewhere. He has a lovely voice. He is really smart, sweet, and kind. He is soft-spoken but very talkative. He is gentle, chivalrous, even-tempered, and generous. He is not conventionally handsome, but has lovely blue eyes. He is very curious about life and everything in it. He really cares about people and is well liked. He works very hard and his clients really appreciate him. He is rather traditional, but is open to new ideas and experiences.

We have many shared experiences and traits. He is left- handed, has natal mercury retrograde and an INFP profile ( mine is INFJ). He grew up in NJ, once lived in my current neighborhood, went to college with my sister ( a few years apart), and went to the same graduate program as me ( a few years apart). We also worked as therapists at the same office at an outpatient MH center ( but not at the same time.) I would imagine there are more overlaps, yet to be discovered. He was my confidant. He became my best friend at work. We would talk for hours about so many things. Eventually I noticed that whenever our group of coworkers were gathered, he was seated next to me. Christmas parties, lunches at the cafeteria, group pizza outings, group photos. He was always by my side. It took me awhile to notice what was developing. After all, he was my coworker and I was attempting to acclimate myself to a demanding new job where the expectations were very high and the learning curve was substantial.

Eventually I became aware that my behavior changed when he was around and that others were making comments about us. Then one day at a conference we spent the entire day together and I felt a vibe, if you will. I felt his energy field and I was surprised by my reaction. Again, he was not my type and I certainly would not get involved with someone whose office was right across the hall from mine.

But then the bad news came.  The scene has changed and the stakes are high. Massive layoffs were announced and most of the therapists lost their jobs. I intuitively knew something was off for weeks, but did not have the details. I was about to lose a job that I adored, where I was growing by leaps and bounds, and I was also about to lose my best friend.

The game had changed.

So he helped me pack up my office and take the boxes to my car. We had each other’s phone number and promised to stay in touch. I was a hot mess. As I drove away, the song Brave played on the radio. I drove by Winding Brook on the way home, to say goodbye.

We did talk on the phone and a few weeks later we all reassembled for a group dinner. His birthday was being celebrated, along with that of another former dungeon resident. He has been at the job for years and I was the newbie. He was quickly rehired and was able to remain full-time, due to the strong working relationships he had cultivated. While he was a guest of honor, he did not sit with the main clique. Instead he sat with me. I know he liked me as more than a friend by the things he would say and how he would say them. On the day that we were given the news about the layoffs, I made a comment at the meeting, asking my colleagues why they were silent and never complained about all the problems with upper management. Per usual, no one said a word. Then he exclaimed to this large group of people ” Linda, you are so awesome! ” I was a bit embarrassed, but also pleased. He saw me as the best version of myself. He often told me how much he admires my directness and ability to say the right thing at the right time. He always had a ready ear and was extremely compassionate. But it was the way he smiled at me that mattered most.

So I cried on the long drive home from the restaurant. Was I missing my job, my coworkers, Bensalem, or him? Bensalem broke my heart twice before, after-all. I was stunned by the depths of my emotions. I still am processing this traumatic loss.

The phone calls have seemed to stop and I feel abandoned. One the day we were let go, I told him he was my best friend and that I would miss him. I was oh so proud of myself for being in the moment.  He said he felt the same. Yet, so much was still unspoken. He still has the job, and I am back on my couch, doing my best to move forward.

I clearly can see why I don’t do relationships anymore. The emotions are so messy. I rather fix someone’s mess than look at my own. I am safer in the theoretical realm, where I can feel confident and well-adjusted. I do not want to jump when the phone rings, waiting to hear from him. I do not want to chase anyone or anything. Disappointment is painful.  Feeling vulnerable sucks, even when one is firmly engaged on the spiritual path.

I have this feeling that our connection is over and I am using this time to re-calibrate. It will be easier to separate now, instead of saying things I will later regret. One could suggest, be patient, it has only been a couple of weeks. I am not certain of anything. But I do not like what this entanglement has done to me. My heart aches and I abhor this feeling.

And I miss him.

I chose to put Delicate in the title because I caught a new Taylor Swift video tonight by that name. The lyrics seemed to echo many of my sentiments. Taylor has Saturn conjunct mine at 13 degrees Capricorn. She is approaching her first Saturn return as I approach my second. Her music really resonates with me and I look to her to help assess my emotional weather. I am taking a play from her book by writing about a man as a form of self-expression. Great minds think alike!

I could go on and write more about this, but my wine glass is close to empty and it has been a couple of hours. Even I am tired of this story now. Yet, it is so funny how a stranger can become so important so quickly and without warning. But I so suck at this and wish I was better equipped.

I welcome plenty of comments. If you think you would be better off sharing offline, please shoot me an email. I understand. Contact me before I lose my nerve and make this post private 🙂  Thanks for listening.

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain
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Disclosure

Hey litebeings and welcome to all the new readers and followers! Mars went direct this morning and this is a hopeful sign of advancement in the weeks ahead. My mood is still really funky, but as I have mentioned here at some point, my moods tend to shift more quickly than in years past.

My philosophy regarding controversial topics is to keep an open mind and let your intuition guide you towards the truth. I have recently become aware of the site Collective Evolution and I enjoy it very much. The material is interesting and appears to be balanced.  The people affiliated with Collective Evolution have a bright and lively energy, which shines through strongly.

They are offering one more day to view the following video for free. See the link below:

https://explorers.collective-evolution.com/wilcock-replay/

This video features David Wilcock’s take on Disclosure and the fall of the Cabal.  I posted David once on this blog and the reaction was mixed. Hell , my reaction remains mixed! But I received so much worthwhile information so I want to share it here. I have had plenty of time on my hands to research topics that used to turn me off. But here’s the thing, so much of what I am about  may be controversial to any particular segment of society. I have studied astrology since age 7 and have accessed psychic abilities and pre-cognitive dreams since my teens. And I could go on…

The point I am trying to make is that I would fail to grow if I said no to anything that was new or mysterious to me. Sometimes I take just a smidgen of what is offered and leave the rest. We get to decide what works for us for the highest good. As always, all reactions and comments are welcome.

East Africa in West Philly ~ Traversing Time and Space

Here is a post I wrote that appears to be inspired by Anthony Bourdain’s influence on me. Someone in the media today called him a culinary rock star. I would totally agree. He was someone whose love of life was so evident, particularly in how the emotional signature of an experience left a strong residue. long after time has passed. I would like to think he would see some of his influence in my writing.

I never reblog several posts in one day, but I need to do this to cope with the shock that I feel and to convey the love I have for this talented and flawed man.

litebeing chronicles

I had a very important meeting today in my old college neighborhood. It is called University City because Drexel University and The University of Pennsylvania are located there. I moved away many years ago, but still have so many fond memories. Sometimes work or a social event will bring me back, but I have not visited in a few years. The last time I was there it was a very sad occasion. I went with a coworker to visit a former client of ours who was receiving hospice care. She died a few days later.  She was not much older than I, but was dying of uterine cancer that was diagnosed way too late. She had schizophrenia and this contributed to her death. Her caretaker did not believe her when she told her she was bleeding. I did all I could to advocate for her, but it was not enough…

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Poseidon Adventure

The Pisces full moon this past Wednesday was quite intense because Neptune was conjunct the moon at the time. Considering that Mercury was at the Solar Eclipse degree for this lunation at 28 Leo, the Eclipse was triggered. Take Neptune, the eclipse and a Pisces full moon, add a sprinkle of climate change ( trying to add a little levity here) and you have one hell of a deluge coming your way.

Hurricane Irma is pummeling Florida as we speak. The damage it is creating is historic both in scope and magnitude. Before hitting Florida, Irma made contact with Barbuda, St. Maarten, the Bahamas, the Virgin Islands and Cuba. Barbuda is decimated and St. Maarten is not in much better shape. This current storm is happening  just a couple of weeks after Hurricane Harvey ravaged Houston and surrounding areas.

My heart goes out to all those who are suffering and all the people devoted to rescue and recovery. I have family in Florida and a few blogger friends as well. I keep praying for their safety.

Many memories  flooded back to me as I watched some of the media coverage:

Trekking all over the terrain of St. Maarten with my family as a teen. Spending New Year’s Eve at this amazing restaurant on the French Side.

Walking Collins Avenue with my friends looking for adventure. Strolling along Lincoln Road with my mom and grandmom. Miami Beach was her home for most of my life and we spent almost every Christmas visiting my mother’s side of the family in South Florida. My first plane ride was as a toddler to Miami.  I have seen scores of black and white pictures of myself with my cousins at their house. Biscayne Boulevard, South Beach, Fort Lauderdale, yup I’ve been there.

Spring break on my senior high school trip to Daytona Beach and Disney World was quite an excursion. Sneaking into a disco underage with my friends, good times!  I had already been to Orlando a couple of times, but it was so much cooler being on your own with friends at age seventeen  ( there were teachers as chaperones, but..) .

Viewing cheesy home movies of my mother as a young woman surrounded by Flamingos in Nassau. My parents visited here shortly after they were married.

Driving from New Jersey to Tampa with my friend and her sister was quite an adventure. After our arrival, I then flew from Tampa to Miami to spend time with my aunt and uncle, my cousins, and my grandma. It was the first time I took a major road trip and traveled on a plane by myself. It was so wonderful to really bond with my cousins and my grandmother.  After all, I only saw them occasionally throughout the years. I still can taste the exotic foods served at the Cuban pig roast feast. Yucca, plantains, and lots of anticipation of a bright new year. I always loved hearing Spanish being spoken on my visits and how my dad would often be mistaken for Cuban by the natives. But that will be covered in a later post….

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I love this area and I have roots here. But the thing is, we all  have roots everywhere. Blogging has widened my circle and I know people practically all over this beautiful planet. Many of us have expanded our circles through social media over the years. But even before that, we as people are one people. Energetically speaking, there are no real boundaries between us. How many more disasters ( etymological translation is “ill-starred” ) do we need to endure before the realization hits that we have to solve our differences and heal the divisions so we can ultimately heal Gaia? So many have predicted devastation to coastal areas for this timeline. Is it inevitable? I don’t agree.

We can transform our reality.

 

I added some movie disaster songs. They are poignant and inspiring:

 

Let’s love ourselves and one another. We can transcend challenging transits or eclipses or futile division. Neptunian energy can be associated with many things. As the higher octave of Venus, Neptune epitomizes Spiritual Love.

 

Interested in learning more about your astro-forecast? Contact me here.

I am seeking blog donations at this time. Contact me here if you are so inclined.

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Flip The Script

Here is some magic that took place yesterday ( Wednesday)  morning, when Pluto was standing still, awaiting its retrograde journey ( Thursday) today. I was at the drive thru at the local Dunkin’ Donuts. I have mixed feelings about this particular location, but am grateful to be able to use the drive-thru seamlessly. For many years, the driver’s window on my car was not working, so I would have to open the door at the drive thru, toll booth, etc., I was thinking about receiving a miracle, while recalling a synchronicity that occurred Tuesday evening ( more on that later.)

The man at the counter is one of my favorites. He is very kind and patient with me and my special orders. As I go to give him some money, he stops me and says ” Your order is paid for. Someone bought you your order.” I was in shock. I could not believe it! I become a bit teary and tell him that I was actually asking for a miracle. He replies  ” You never know the form, but miracles are always here ( paraphrase) .” Apparently he also is of a spiritual nature. That did not surprise me!

Then I go on to say ” I have seen this on TV, a pay it forward plan. Take my money and use it to pay for the car behind me.” I was so caught up in the moment that I forgot to ask him how much the order cost. I hope the money I gave covered it, but at least I had the wherewithal to follow through. I held onto the receipt as proof that I was part of this glorious exchange.

I cannot tell you how healing it felt to be seen and cared for and acknowledged to be part of humanity. It was the antithesis of having uninsured people ram into my parked, new car, virtually total it, and walk away from their vehicle. In that instant I felt as if the harm was erased and that I was back in the flow. This reminded me that positivity is within reach and can be just as unexpected as negativity.

Tuesday evening was also fulfilling, but in a different way. I was talking with my supervisor at the diner about how I look for reasons to go to work each day and that may be why I lose some objectivity when I consider that many successes may be met by subsequent relapses or poor outcomes. As we were having this conversation, a man approaches me. He looks a bit like a friend of mine, but younger and thinner. He comes to the table with a smile and says ” I don’t know if you remember me Linda, but I’m ( blank).”  When he says his name, I immediately remember him and say hi. I introduce him to my supervisor while his wife yells ” Hi Linda!” from their booth. I yell hello back and I tell him he looks good and that it has been many years. I wish him well and he returns to his wife and two young children.

I cannot tell my supervisor, but I grin because of the irony. It did not matter because I knew she understood why I had to remain silent. Here is a former client of mine who worked with me for many, many years. I worked with his wife for couples sessions and helped him adjust to parenting both of his children. His smile was an indication that I was important to him. He could have stayed in his seat, or perhaps said hello if I happened to walk by his booth. His presence solidified for me that I do help people and that my efforts do matter. Once again, it was about being seen.

I am so grateful for the appearance of these seemingly simple events in the overall fabric of my life. The script was flipped and it could not have happened at a better time.

Tell us about a time you paid it forward.  How did it feel to flip the script?

Dunkin' image via wikipedia.org, public domain

All is Well , Even Amidst the Darkest Night

I feel compelled to post something this morning and I searched for something uplifting and energizing.  This is what I found.  Please take the time to read through carefully. I love you.

peace to you, namaste, litebeing

 

wikipedia.org public domain

Greetings everyone! As the sun is still a few minutes shy of reaching my Ascendant, I am milking this 12th house energy for all its worth. I did feel the Imbolc Candlemas surge once the calendar moved into February, but recent health issues has challenged my productivity. This is partially why I have not published any new material in a while. Check out Jamie’s fabulous Imbolc post to learn more about this Winter to Spring sacred time.

Welcome to all new followers and readers! I am so delighted to have so many new people visit me here at litebeing chronicles. Please feel free to comment, even if just to say hello. I want you to know that I am thrilled whenever someone takes the time to read about my journey. Thank you for your interest in my life.

I have so much going on, which sometimes leaves me undecided as to where to place my focus. This can happen when there is so much movement internally and externally. Fortunately I have decided to share my enchantment with the US Democrat Presidential primaries.

 What??? Politics?? What does this have to do with spiritual awakening?

I asked myself the same questions. Here’s the thing: In my life, I allow myself to follow my attractions. If I am drawn to something, I will give it my time and energy and see where it leads me. I rarely write about politics, but find that astrology does a great job of describing how planetary themes get played out on the world stage. While this is not an astrology article per se, I want to acknowledge that the Pluto in Capricorn square Uranus in Aries cycle we have been living since 2012 has been dramatically triggering global chaos and crisis. Crisis, please remember, is another word for opportunity.

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I am an avid political fan and use astrology and intuition  to engage with the process. Some people enjoy football, I prefer election races! I do not like to use my politics to influence others, which is why I limit any commentary on the blog.

However, I witnessed something a few days ago that really moved me emotionally. My intense reaction strongly compels me to share it with my readers. Let me explain: I have been really struggling about who to vote for in the primaries. I would love to see a woman President and do respect Hillary Clinton. She has spent her life serving others and remaining in her husband’s shadow for many years. She exemplifies Scorpio resilience and passion.

But then came Bernie….

I remember Bernie Sanders when the US Senate was struggling to gain a Democratic Majority. Sanders, who was an Independent at the time, decided to caucus with the Democrats and helped them gain a slight majority. Looking back, it did very little to address congressional gridlock, but this event gave me the chance to learn a bit about this longtime Independent Socialist from Vermont.

At a New Hampshire Town Hall meeting, the subject of spirituality was raised. Bernie, a non-practicing Jew, was asked about his beliefs. This was his response:

” It’s a guiding principle in my life, absolutely, it is,” Sanders began. He explained that everyone practices their faith differently and acknowledged that he wouldn’t be running if he didn’t have a strong religious and spiritual understanding, then continued.

” I believe that, as a human being, the pain that one person feels, if we have children who are hungry in America, if we have elderly people who can’t afford their prescription drugs, you know what, that impacts you, that impacts me,” the senator said. “And I worry very much about a society where some people spiritually say, it doesn’t matter to me, I got it, I don’t care about other people. So my spirituality is that we are all in this together and that when children go hungry, when veterans sleep out on the street, it impacts me. That’s my very strong spiritual feeling.”

My heart began to beat faster and tears streamed down my cheeks. This man is expressing the tenets of unity consciousness. Not only does he stand for integrity, he practices empathy. This is huge. This message is divinely inspired. My mind was officially blown. I urge that those interested find a video transcript because watching the discussion gives it more weight. The reason I strongly resonate with this response is because I believe that he is simply a vehicle of the collective; an instrument of the people. This is where revolution can lead to evolution. If you examine both words, it is simple to conclude that revolution is a reenactment of evolution. When we take steps towards extraordinary social change, we are growing, developing, maturing. This is the genius of Pluto square Uranus.

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I am not advocating for a particular candidate. I am merely sharing my reactions to a moment in time. What matters more than an election is how the personal influences the political. This is why I am proud to call myself a Social Worker. I learned from my Social Welfare Policy Instructor how society is shaped by our beliefs. This principle is quite powerful and can be seamlessly applied to the spiritual path.

Just a little something to chew on a sunny and snowy February day in 2016.

globe image courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain, Imbolc sky images by litebeing chronicles © 2016

 

By allen watkin from London, UK - buddying up,https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Buddy Buzz

By Rod Waddington from Kergunyah, Australia (Friends, Jimma) [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

I have observed that I typically attract certain people, places, and circumstances in clusters, and during certain times. Last year during the Scorpio season, friends and family from near and far came together to celebrate me. It was unlike other birthdays because of the diversity of people and how most of the gatherings came to me organically. I wrote about this phenomenon here and here and here.

The preponderance of planets in the Western hemisphere of my natal chart means that experiences usually come to me via initiation by others. It is about receptivity and waiting. While waiting is not my strong suit, experience has shown me that my life moves the most when other people catalyze actions. This past week or so has certainly proven that time and time again. Last weekend was spent doing a spontaneously scheduled phone reading for Dayna. It was wonderful to connect in this way. That afternoon I traveled to a nearby gallery to attend an astrology lecture. The event had some glitches ( to be revealed later), but there was such a wonderful vibe among those gathered, along with a surprise encounter. One of the attendees is an old friend who recently moved back to the area after being away for a good while. We had not seen one another for about 14 years. Being in each other’s company sparked so many great memories. We expect to see each other again very soon.

This weekend was a beautiful conglomeration of three magical meals among  gal pals old and new, along with the supportive men who care for them. These meals came together mostly seamlessly and effortlessly, despite all the retrograde theatrics. Friday night I had dinner with Sarah, Ka, and her very accepting and witty husband. Being in the company of these amazing bloggettes and celebrating our shared connection was precious. It felt like we were resuming our sisterhood, rather than forging new bonds. Ka traveled all the way from California to visit her friends and family in Pennsylvania. I am so grateful she included me and invited Sarah. Words are inadequate to describe the electricity and love between us.

Saturday I get an impromptu invitation to lunch with my former mentee / current friend Rachel. She just happened to be in my neighborhood. While I was a bit wired from Friday evening’s festivities, I decided to meet up for a leisurely lunch. Rachel and I  are about 15 years apart so she is the same age now that I was when I became her college mentor. It is very cool to see how we both have changed and mellowed over time. It is also great that we share the same sun/moon combo ( Scorpio sun, Gemini moon). Our temperaments are similar and we tend to enjoy many of the same interests. The conversation is never stifled when we get together!

Sunday evening I hung out with Caryn and her friend ( we will call him Bob.) You may remember Caryn from her fabulous paintings posted here. She drove all the way from Connecticut for only a few days. Bob’s presence made a pleasant addition to our party. It was fantastic that Caryn made time for me during her brief visit with Bob. I also met her beloved Scotty terrier ( one of three.)

wikipedia.org, public domain

Per usual, there were interesting themes among the 3 visits. For example, one of the men has an uncanny resemblance to a former flame. You know, the one who seems to show up in unexpected ways. I did NOT see that coming! One friend lives in San Diego and another friend was invited to travel to San Diego. One friend was curious about visiting a new boutique grocery store that opened nearby and another friend went to that grocery before meeting up with me that evening. The icing on the synchronicity cake is that I adore the rotisserie chicken at that market and go there specifically for the chicken. Well, one friend bought some of that famous rotisserie chicken for her dog and brought the leftovers with her to the French restaurant! It is also synchronous to know that the word rotisserie happens to be French in origin. None of these connections were planned or discussed beforehand. One last detail: all 3 restaurants are located on the same street and two of them are located in the same hotel.

I am so thrilled that I got to spend all this time with such phenomenal spirits. During this part of my journey, it really matters to have a supportive community to call your own. While the activity was frenetic at times, the love and affection was palpable. I have said it many times before, but I am so grateful to have cultivated such incredible friendships.

While I thought Pluto transiting my 11th house of friends might leave me isolated and lonely, the opposite is true. When all is said and done, the folks who remained or appeared over this ten-year transit have proven to be kind, generous, and genuine. Excuse the superlatives, these are amazing people and the adjectives used are not in any way inauthentic. What is also worth mentioning is that all of them would most likely enjoy each other’s energy. I am so lucky they all have me in common.

So here’s the restaurant buzz, if you find yourself in Philadelphia:

Eclectic healthy eats and comfort food:

http://chestnuthillgrill.com/Chestnut_Grill/Welcome.html

Chinese fusion:

http://www.cincinrestaurantphiladelphia.com/

Classic French:

http://www.parisbistro.net/

 

Tell me about your tribe. How did you coalesce?

 

image credits : first photo ~ By Rod Waddington from Kergunyah, Australia (Friends, Jimma (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)] wikipedia.org, second photo ~ wikipedia.org, public domain, header image ~ By allen watkin from London, UK - buddying up, https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Revolution is Evolution

In honor of the mega-retrograde season, I am re-blogging an article from February about the influence of Bernie Sanders. I do not want him to be forgotten, an afterthought in American history. He is a symbol of what we can be as we step into our individual and collective power.

litebeing chronicles

wikipedia.org public domain

Greetings everyone! As the sun is still a few minutes shy of reaching my Ascendant, I am milking this 12th house energy for all its worth. I did feel the Imbolc Candlemas surge once the calendar moved into February, but recent health issues has challenged my productivity. This is partially why I have not published any new material in a while. Check out Jamie’s fabulous Imbolc post to learn more about this Winter to Spring sacred time.

Welcome to all new followers and readers! I am so delighted to have so many new people visit me here at litebeing chronicles. Please feel free to comment, even if just to say hello. I want you to know that I am thrilled whenever someone takes the time to read about my journey. Thank you for your interest in my life.

I have so much going on, which sometimes leaves me undecided as…

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Dreamwork Works!

wikiart.org public domain

Happy Pisces everyone! I could ask where does the time go, but at this point it would be redundant. I had planned to write the next installment of Colonodyssey, but this dream I recorded takes precedence.

I recently purchased a new journal. I do most of my writing these days here on my blog, but felt the need to resume a private journaling practice. My old journal was filled and I found this cool owl decorated replacement. By the way, I am keeping Owl, Deer, and Tiger as continuing totems. Owl has clearly been more prominent of late, but I had one in – person multiple deer sighting recently, and tiger is appearing more online and on TV, etc.

In any case, this gorgeous journal is enticing me to write more, which includes dream documentation. I will admit my dream recording is quite sporadic at best. However, what I am about to share has convinced me it really is in my ( and everyone’s) best interest to record as many dreams as you remember.

Now to the entry:

1-16-16 or 1-17-16

Mom’s Easter Birthday Party

Mom tells me we are invited to a huge ( 19 people) dinner at Ann’s house. This will take place the night before Easter. Easter is my mom’s birthday ( in real life her birthday is in April.  Occasionally it will fall on Easter.) She wants me to take off work. I am unsure of this.  I could call out sick, but did not want to do so.  I tell her I could take a Vacation Day off but better take care of this now because everyone will want the day off. I ask Mom how old she is. It was not a major birthday. I was unsure why we were having a major gathering for a routine birthday. (This dream takes place in present time.)

I then question my mom about Ann. ” Doesn’t she have Alzheimer’s?”  My mom replies ” No, she’s fine.” I am thinking to myself that my mom is in denial.

I call my mom upon admittance to the hospital on February 10th. She tells me that Ann, one of her best friends, had just passed away. She died from Alzheimer’s disease. Apparently Ann’s birthday was January 25th and she died on February 1st. I did not know when Ann’s birthday was, nor was I aware of her passing. I was aware of her condition but I have not seen her in decades, nor have I thought of her recently. I do not recall ever dreaming about her. She does not materialize in the dream but I do recall seeing her house where the dinner was to take place. Now I am wondering if that was the location of the post – funeral gathering. Apparently Ann and her husband recently relocated back to New Jersey and the funeral took place there. My mother did attend the service and told me she saw many of her relatives. I did spend time with Ann’s children and step children while I was growing up. I was fond of both Ann and her daughters who were a bit older than me.

I seem to be more clairvoyant and clairsentient of late, with a trifle clairaudience and telepathy thrown in for good measure. I have become incredibly tied into the synchronicity flow, but less psychic. I typically become psychic on demand if I am reading someone, but otherwise those abilities have appeared to dissipate. So imagine my surprise when I came upon this entry just a few days ago. My mind was blown. The dream happened just a few days before Ann’s birthday and subsequent passing.

I do not celebrate Easter, but know it is the day of Christ’s resurrection. So interesting that the day before Easter was highlighted in my dream. This clearly seems linked to Ann’s transition.

According to my research, the Ancients called 19 the ‘Number of Surrender’ as your life needs to link up with the Universal Life. Not exactly an easy number, number 1 represents ‘new beginnings’ and number 9 represents ‘endings’. When number 19s have determination to erase past mistakes they then develop their true Spiritual character with unshakable faith and a philosophy that will sustain them. 19 / 10 / 1 relates to an experience you have chosen on your path that cannot be avoided. It gives you an opportunity to stand on your own two feet and says that you will need all of the positive traits of 1 through to 9 to get through the experience.

It appears that 19 could be linked with my relapse and Ann’s passing. I can see the significance of this number in my dream scenario. It is also interesting that I did not want to take a sick day. Clearly I did not want to become ill again. Yet it appears that both my relapse and Ann’s passing were inevitable.

The takeaway ~ You never, never, know what your dreams will show you. I recently was telling someone about how dreams can take on different meanings over time. I have been able to identify that current lovers were actually forecasted in past dream sequences. In some cases, there was a significant gap between the dream and the manifestation. I am aware intellectually that time and space are just constructs, but it never fails to surprise me when I discover that I have accessed the future.

If you would like to read about some more dreamy goodness, check out this series from last year.

Want to learn how to make sense of your dreams and/or how to increase recall? Check out my Services page for the details.

 

image credits: wikiart.org, public domain

Revolution is Evolution

wikipedia.org public domain

Greetings everyone! As the sun is still a few minutes shy of reaching my Ascendant, I am milking this 12th house energy for all its worth. I did feel the Imbolc Candlemas surge once the calendar moved into February, but recent health issues has challenged my productivity. This is partially why I have not published any new material in a while. Check out Jamie’s fabulous Imbolc post to learn more about this Winter to Spring sacred time.

Welcome to all new followers and readers! I am so delighted to have so many new people visit me here at litebeing chronicles. Please feel free to comment, even if just to say hello. I want you to know that I am thrilled whenever someone takes the time to read about my journey. Thank you for your interest in my life.

I have so much going on, which sometimes leaves me undecided as to where to place my focus. This can happen when there is so much movement internally and externally. Fortunately I have decided to share my enchantment with the US Democrat Presidential primaries.

 What??? Politics?? What does this have to do with spiritual awakening?

I asked myself the same questions. Here’s the thing: In my life, I allow myself to follow my attractions. If I am drawn to something, I will give it my time and energy and see where it leads me. I rarely write about politics, but find that astrology does a great job of describing how planetary themes get played out on the world stage. While this is not an astrology article per se, I want to acknowledge that the Pluto in Capricorn square Uranus in Aries cycle we have been living since 2012 has been dramatically triggering global chaos and crisis. Crisis, please remember, is another word for opportunity.

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I am an avid political fan and use astrology and intuition and to engage with the process. Some people enjoy football, I prefer election races! I do not like to use my politics to influence others, which is why I limit any commentary on the blog.

However, I witnessed something a few days ago that really moved me emotionally. My intense reaction strongly compels me to share it with my readers. Let me explain: I have been really struggling about who to vote for in the primaries. I would love to see a woman President and do respect Hillary Clinton. She has spent her life serving others and remaining in her husband’s shadow for many years. She exemplifies Scorpio resilience and passion.

But then came Bernie….

I remember Bernie Sanders when the US Senate was struggling to gain a Democratic Majority. Sanders, who was an Independent at the time, decided to caucus with the Democrats and helped them gain a slight majority. Looking back, it did very little to address congressional gridlock, but this event gave me the chance to learn a bit about this longtime Independent Socialist from Vermont.

At a New Hampshire Town Hall meeting, the subject of spirituality was raised. Bernie, a non-practicing Jew, was asked about his beliefs. This was his response:

” It’s a guiding principle in my life, absolutely, it is,” Sanders began. He explained that everyone practices their faith differently and acknowledged that he wouldn’t be running if he didn’t have a strong religious and spiritual understanding, then continued.

” I believe that, as a human being, the pain that one person feels, if we have children who are hungry in America, if we have elderly people who can’t afford their prescription drugs, you know what, that impacts you, that impacts me,” the senator said. “And I worry very much about a society where some people spiritually say, it doesn’t matter to me, I got it, I don’t care about other people. So my spirituality is that we are all in this together and that when children go hungry, when veterans sleep out on the street, it impacts me. That’s my very strong spiritual feeling.”

My heart began to beat faster and tears streamed down my cheeks. This man is expressing the tenets of unity consciousness. Not only does he stand for integrity, he practices empathy. This is huge. This message is divinely inspired. My mind was officially blown. I urge that those interested find a video transcript because watching the discussion gives it more weight. The reason I strongly resonate with this response is because I believe that he is simply a vehicle of the collective; an instrument of the people. This is where revolution can lead to evolution. If you examine both words, it is simple to conclude that revolution is a reenactment of evolution. When we take steps towards extraordinary social change, we are growing, developing, maturing. This is the genius of Pluto square Uranus.

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I am not advocating for a particular candidate. I am merely sharing my reactions to a moment in time. What matters more than an election is how the personal influences the political. This is why I am proud to call myself a Social Worker. I learned from my Social Welfare Policy Instructor how society is shaped by our beliefs. This principle is quite powerful and can be seamlessly applied to the spiritual path.

Just a little something to chew on a sunny and snowy February day in 2016.

globe image courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain, Imbolc sky images by litebeing chronicles © 2016