Featured wikiart.org

To Be or Not to Be ~ Simulated Existence

I guess you could call this post Who Am I ? Part 2, or Who are We?  This quick entry is to refer you to some fascinating shows that may help increase one’s understanding of the nature of reality and entertain you while doing so.

While many readers are no longer pro – television, stay with me here and keep an open mind. Black Mirror is a popular post- modern Netflix series that explores the dark side of ever -advancing technology. While some ( most ) of the episodes are too dark for my taste, there are two that I find fascinating, romantic,  hopeful, and suggest the Matrix is alive and well.

Below are the  videos about these episodes. Check them out and follow your intuition as to whether they are worth viewing in their entirety:

My second suggestion is to purchase a trial membership on Gaia TV and immerse yourself in Missing Links with Gregg Braden. This series walks the viewer through the theory that our current existence is a programmed simulation. Season 2 asks the question Are we living in a virtual reality? I find Gregg, who is a scientist,  to be very logical and credible and he takes time and effort to make his case. I am finding possible answers to many questions that have alluded me for years. Thank you Whitehawk  for the gentle nudges. I get it.

Here is a link to my reviews for some spiritual films, which include Vanilla Sky and Contact that hint at simulated reality

Let me know your reactions in the comments section or shoot me an email.

peace, litebeing

Film Review ~ Time is Art

Time is Art: Synchronicity and the Collective Dream

This documentary, directed by Katy Walker Mejia and Joel Mejia and written by Jennifer Palmer and Katy Walker Mejia, tells of one woman’s journey of a life-altering experience when she is “summoned” to her aunt’s deathbed.  This event shifts the main character’s path dramatically. She transforms from a secular worldview to a heightened spiritual awareness via a series of mysterious synchronous happenings.

This film is relatable and accessible for anyone interested in the spiritual path. I enjoyed the visual feel of the piece, as well as interviews with a diverse mix of healers and thought leaders. I  found the cinematography stunningly beautiful and very dreamlike in presentation.  Jose Arguelles and Carl Jung are often cited in interesting and novel ways. Telepathy is described as distant empathy and may be behind many synchronicities. It is also an alternative explanation that deserves consideration.

I particular liked this theme: Time is Money vs Time is Art: The film suggests that the planet will evolve significantly when time is measured not by salary or what we charge, but by what we create. Imagine a world where we are rewarded for being the creators we truly are.

There is a sequel on the horizon so I would certainly view the initial project now! I had my own synchronicity while viewing the film. I recall a vivid dream the night before about Native American spirituality that connects with a key ayahuasca sequence. Once this epiphany emerged, I laughed inwardly with a peaceful knowingness.  This realization demonstrated yet again how potent synchronicities can be!

Please see the film and let me know what you think! Visit this link to access the film for rent or purchase and this link for more Time is Art events.  You are in for a real treat!

Clearing Away for a Faerie Future

Whew! We survived another Eclipse season. When I think back to where I was one year ago during the August eclipses, I am so grateful to be here now. Not to say that this summer has been a party, but hey, I have grown quite a bit since then. There really is no other choice. Many mornings I wake up with a heaviness of a sense of dread, wondering if I am picking up collective energies, or my own. Sometimes the clarity I seek alludes me. Yesterday was a very social day for me and it was very celebratory in a true Leonine manner. I had such a lovely time with friends, one of which is a Leo. Today had a darker vibe and  a couple of hours ago I heard some horrific news about a woman who died way too young. She was not a patient, but someone I knew as a teen.  But I will not let it drag me down. I will absorb the information and then let it go.  It will be added to the clearing pile.

Let me elaborate: I have been dedicating myself to clearing away debris, literally and metaphorically. It has become almost an obsession for me, emerging from my higher self.  I recently hired a service to clear out an old tv and desktop from my place, which made room to organize more stuff. There comes a time when you will ultimately know what no longer suits you. This retrograde period has allowed me to release old memories from high school, courtesy of a high school reunion Facebook group. I find it interesting that while I am processing and discarding,  pleasant memories of people and places are coming back into consciousness. I must admit that the internet is a fine tool for refreshing the details, but then again, what IS the internet really? Energy like everything else in existence.

While synchs are a daily event, the truly mystical has eluded me for quite some time. But a subtle discovery brought magick back into focus:

It has been difficult the past few days to find parking near my door, so I have had to park further away. Why, I wondered, was this happening? Maybe so I could find this lovely feather today while walking to my car. I would not have seen it otherwise. I have not found a feather like this in about  2 years , so it grabbed my attention, and what you attend to expands. These type of experiences strengthen my faith that all is really well, even in the midst of stagnation and chaos.

Sometimes clearing is metaphorical or occurs on a parallel plane. I am a computer game enthusiast. I really like building cities so I am attracted to games that focus on this angle.  Elvenar  is a Facebook game that has a mystical feel. There are several worlds to play in and the builder can focus on human or non-human realms. When I reached a certain level I was close to the fairy realm. I was prompted to sell most of what I had built over years to clear the way for a new type of fairy technology. I found myself resisting this process. I did not want to undo all this work and leave my city practically bare.

Then it hit me, this is where I am headed on my ascension journey. I must be able to sit with emptiness and continue dismantling what doesn’t fit into my life anymore. I told myself ” Linda, listen to the fairy prompt and sell your stuff!”. My city has miniature humans and a few fairies now walking among my city streets. The city is in flux and has plenty of room to breathe.  This is where I need to be.

Isn’t it ironic that on the morning that the game suggested I convert to a fairy avatar that this huge beetle showed up to greet me? I saw the beetle at the exact moment that I was trying out the new avatar.  Beetle medicine is about transformation after-all. You all may wonder how much time I am devoting to computer games, but unemployment has its perks (Or not).

My header image is a faith plaque I purchased last December. I participated in a Secret Santa at work and someone mentioned buying small gifts in anticipation of the Secret Santa event. I was at Cracker Barrel and saw the plaques. I liked them so much that I bought one for my coworker and one for myself. I figured it would be a nice addition to my office. I look at it daily to remind me that faith has a place in my spiritual practice. I don’t hold the philosophy that some otherworldly being will save me, but rather that my time here is on purpose and that guidance is a certainty.

The video below is a song written by Jon Bon Jovi for Stevie Nicks. It is quite on point regarding living with what appears and embracing the mystery. I dedicate this song and this post to all who have left this planet too soon. While it seems to me that the number of souls taking the nearest exit are increasing exponentially, that does not diminish the value they hold or the love they still engender.

Uranus Retrograde ~ Be Here Now

I am echoing the sentiments of the iconic Ram Dass , suggesting we all do our best to chill and refrain from engaging in major activities in the environment.  This essay directs us to do the opposite of what I advised back in January when all planets were moving in direct motion. This is because tomorrow Uranus goes retrograde, joining Mercury, Mars, Saturn, Neptune, and Pluto. Venus ( soon to join the party on October 5th) and Jupiter are the only planets moving forward at this time. Look to where 2 degrees Taurus lands in your natal chart to see where the Great Awakener rocks your world. Stationing points can be quite powerful depending on how they impact you personally in terms of sign, house position, and relationships with where the planets were positioned at the time of  birth.

Honestly, with all the various energies emerging at us all at once, it is difficult to be able to distinguish why we are experiencing what we are experiencing. This is why continuous self-care is so important. But you already knew that didn’t you? My self- care regime varies, but my current practice consists of daily meditation, mindfulness, clearing away clutter, gratitude, and aromatherapy. All of these strategies contribute to more clarity and openness.

wikipedia.org pub domain

When there are too many activities or conflicting ideas to juggle, it is natural to succumb to feelings of overwhelm and confusion. When I reflect back on early 2018, I wish I could have been bolder and capitalized on more new ventures. But my plate was full with all the curve balls thrown my way. I truly believe that we always do the best we can, even when we resort to self-judgement. For example, just a few hours ago, I did not have the energy or drive to complete this post. But after meditation, the impulse to continue writing brought me back here to the draft folder and voila, a blog is born.

While I find it challenging to be able to tease out which particular energy is operating with the most fervor, spending more time within certainly makes this task more manageable. For instance, transiting Jupiter made its second hit to my sun late yesterday and I was hoping for an explosion of joy. That did not happen, but it is likely that this positive influence has tempered some of the more noxious energies currently at play. With multiple eclipses, an unusually strong retro pattern, along with solar flares and God knows what else, ( humidity?), life here on Gaia has become increasingly more complicated. Astrology is magical and my lifelong passion, but it is not a panacea. We live in a time where more is being asked of us and reality is more fragile than ever. So what is the solution? I don’t have an easy answer, but I know that listening to one’s guidance is crucial. Twice this week I have been faced with situations that were very unsettling. Many times in the past I would rationalize them away, or make the “easier” choice and then worry excessively about it afterwards. But not this time. I took a breath, listened more intently, and made the more nuanced, complicated choices. This way I will have less worry and probably no regret. This is my version of living authentically. My intuition was imploring me to undo decisions that may have been harmful. I took the road less traveled. Now I ‘ll wait and see what happens.

What can one expect with Uranus retracing his steps? It will be different for everyone, but surprises and unusual energetic movement is likely. With Mars moving back into Capricorn, some of the wild currents may dissipate, but you never know. Some possible manifestations are circulatory problems, new and exciting encounters, sudden insights, technological irregularities ( especially while Mercury is still retro), and weather anomalies. Like I stated earlier, the location of transiting Uranus in your natal chart makes all the difference. Those who have planets in late Aries or early Taurus may feel this transit more intensely. With Uranus, you really never know.

Let me finish with a few birthday wishes for some of my blogettes: Cheers to Ka, Debra, Dayna, Renate, and Julianne. As the sun travels to my descendant ( 7th house of other),  it is wonderful to have so much awesome company who were born at this time.

header image by © litebeing chronicles, non-header images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Art is My Medicine ~ Blood Moon Eclipse Retro Edition

With this Total Lunar Eclipse impacting my 12th house/6th house axis and most of our solar system operating retro-style, life is in sloooow – mo and the past is showing up for us in original and sometimes jarring ways. So I decided rather than doing an Astrology blog tonight, I am presenting an intuitive art selection and recommending a fabulous healing summit so more of you can catch it before it ends. My inspiration for the art was how to conceptualize the universe through this medium. Let me know your reactions. Did I hit the mark?

Here is some more art by Russian artist Pavel Filonov:

wikiart.org public domain

Now comes the healing:

As someone who has been living with all sorts of anomalous health issues, I have been challenged to dig deeper and learn more about alternative healing methodologies. I was all in with Chiropractic medicine back in the 1980s when it was exotic. Along the way I tried Acupuncture, Massage therapy,  Reiki  , yoga (with limited success) herbs, and nutritional counseling. I even signed up to take Reiki 1 later this summer.

I have found this journey both exasperating and fulfilling. Since I am so verbal and mentally comfortable, bodywork is rather effective for me. What is also interesting is that lately I notice stress shows up more as somatic than emotional or mental in nature.

Many of my readers know I am a big fan of Hay House and have had the opportunity to hear ( and even meet) some of my faves such as John Edward, Anita Moorjani, and Dr. Joe Dispenza. Now Matt Kahn is a Hay House author too, yea!

Anyway, I am currently viewing a different type of Hay House online summit devoted to healing. I cannot explain why, but this particular event is striking all the right notes for me. For the past three days I have been introduced to three different experts who have blown me away, Dr. Kelly Brogan, Joan Borysenko PhD  and Anthony William. While I may have heard these names in passing or glossed over some of their material, these hour-long presentations have been incredibly insightful and fascinating. Some of you may have read my reblog about probiotics and mental illness. Just  a few days later I am watching her presentation, rejoicing in the synchronicity that I have just heard of her here at WP.

Today’s interview with medical intuitive Anthony William was such a delight. My main reason for blogging now is to share the link so you can watch his video for free. That’s how good it is. Go over now by clicking here.

The rulers of my Scorpio sun, Mars and Pluto are both moving retrograde in my 12 house and have been traveling there for some time. This type of energy is powerfully mysterious and can also be disturbing, Isolation, an influx of unconscious material, and confusion can manifest easily under these conditions. But so can miracles, atypical healing, and heightened compassion. Wherever and however these planetary energies impact you, I wish you nothing but healing, miracles, and peaceful awakening.

Blessings on this Eclipse and all-ways, litebeing

images courtesy of wikiart.org public domain

Probiotics for the Brain | Article | Kelly Brogan MD

I have not heard this before and find the linking of gut health with mental health very promising! I take probiotics regularly and am excited to see a new way to treat mental or emotional challenges.

Infinite Shift

Every functional medicine psychiatrist has case stories of the ‘probiotic cure’ – of a patient with debilitating symptoms, often obsessive compulsive range, whose symptoms remitted completely with dietary change and probiotic supplementation. Is this voodoo or is it based on a growing understanding of the role of the microbiome in mental health and behavior?

via Probiotics for the Brain | Article | Kelly Brogan MD

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This New Now

Welcome to the new now! We are in the thick of eclipse season, having just digested a partial solar eclipse on 7-12-18 at 20 degrees Cancer. If you are interested in a great article on this lunation, check out this link to Mike Lutin’s siteIt packs quite a wallop and is way more sophisticated than most astrologers’ musings. The degree point is 20 degrees Cancer opposing transiting Pluto. All you have to do is go online or , dare I say it, read a newspaper and you will see Pluto in Cap, doing its dismantling thing.

In my chart, this eclipse hits my natal Mars in the 6th house of health, small pets, work, and daily routine.  Mars is about our force, drive, volition, and desire.The 6th house is traditionally ruled by Mercury, which is associated with communication. Cancer rules emotions, roots, stomach region, food, family, soul, mother, and country. I can illustrate how this played out in short order. I went to a barbecue with friends, which was a last minute decision. I was happy once I arrived at my friend’s house as he is a cat person, and there was plenty of feline energy. Another friend met us there and we drove out to the country. It was a very hot day, but it felt good to be among ( astrologer) friends and do something conventional for a change. So we arrived at the party and it is a lovely home, loaded with more kitties. I was so happy to be immersed in this pleasant atmosphere. The conversation and food were good and I met some new people. We spent some time surveying the extensive grounds and I tried to avoid the sun because it felt draining to me.

The next day I discovered an odd rash on my upper body and called the doctor when I began running a fever. I was advised to take Benadryl and not to worry. I took the lowest dose and then felt worse so I went to urgent care because my doctor was not in the office. They basically laughed at me, after  I paid a steep co-pay, and said I was fine. The doctor refused to run any tests. Then my colon began acting up and I was in pain. I could not sleep well and was concerned. So I went to see my doctor’s alternate on Friday. She ran tests and gave me  a script for antibiotics.  I started taking them and slowly the pain receded and my temp returned close to baseline. Upon arriving home I receive an email stating I was not chosen for the Director of Grief services job. This news really stung.

My doctor said all the tests were okay except for the inflammation marker , which was off the charts. He was not sure what triggered it, but said to stay the course and keep him posted. He actually called me on Sunday. I have the nicest doctor on this planet in my opinion. We do not always agree on treatment, but he is caring, patient, kind, and dependable.

The rash seems to be better, but I am avoiding the sun a bit longer. The day of the actual eclipse triggered a crash of my Word program on my laptop, most likely caused by the latest Windows update. I spent the actual lunation on the phone with the tech in the Philippines as she re-installed the program.

Findings: Here are some keywords for this time period – cats ( small animals), rash, inflammation, stomach, job rejection, barbecue, Word program, computer update, computer tech using remote technology. See how these keywords capture the symbolism of Mars, Cancer and the 6th house? Honestly, I was not expecting another colonodyssey, but fortunately I caught it in time.

I was very excited because a rare transit was to being for me on the Fourth of July: Uranus trine Jupiter. It is really an astounding aspect, signalling unexpected fortune! But I ended up with illness and a job rejection! This is a case where a more impactful astro event can “eclipse” another event! I am still looking for miracles, especially as Jupiter moves forward to approach my sun in the weeks ahead. As the new moon in my 6th house can signal a new job, I am gearing up for a fresh approach, steeped in meditation, mindfulness, and connecting positive thoughts to joyful emotion. This law of attraction practice is endorsed by Wayne Dyer, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Esther Hicks, and many others.

They may package the material differently, but it still boils down to this ” Neurons that fire together wire together! – Donald Hebb.

So my plan is to continue to feel my feelings, embrace gratitude practice, employ the law of attraction, all while staying in the body in the matrix-reality dreamscape we call 3D living. I do think that I am approaching other realms while awake, but it is difficult to truly discern. My sense of time and space has shifted, as evidenced by my trip to the store today. I am in the supermarket and see a box of confections from a distance that remind me of Irish potato candy. As I move closer I am thinking we are approaching St Patrick’s Day. The box is not Irish Potato candy and it is July, not March! Not long ago I might have assumed that I am losing it, but not now. My concept of space and time is fluid and as someone whose current life is less structured, there is less to demarcate these rather artificial signposts.

While I regret not being hired for the Grief services position, I have processed it and let it go. I have new hope for my future and will not be bogged down in victim consciousness. Most spiritual teachers postulate that as we evolve, all will fall away that is no longer working in our best interest, the highest good. This does beg the question, does that mean everything and everyone that remained in my life for an extensive time was for my highest good? I do not have an answer, but cannot remain stuck there. Life is very short and I do not want to get in my own way. I hope you will join me in really living in this new now.

Dexter on parade

 

Check out the black squirrel I snapped today. Now take a look at the calendar message  for today, 7-12-18:

I knew I would get a sign today and I sense more are on the way.

Love you always my sweet boy Dexter!  ❤

 

Here’s an old post that reveals more of his back-story.

Within the past few days I have heard of 2 friends losing their beloved animal companions. Then I had a heartfelt conversation with OM about cats and blogging. While this topic is somewhat off theme, it seems fitting to prepare a simple post about my beloved Dexter.

Dexter
Dexter

I adopted Dexter back in 2008, a few months after I lost my first cat Jasmine. I renamed him Dexter after careful thought and consideration. It was not because he reminds me of a serial killer. It just suited him better than his original name Sylvester did.

After 16 years ( she was about 8 weeks when I brought her home) , Jasmine succumbed to kidney disease. Watching her decline and deciding when to let her go was among the most agonizingly painful, gut- wrenching times in my entire life. The sadness and pain were almost too much to bear. Jazz died in April 2008, so the anniversary of her passing is quite fresh. Raising this sweet cat from infancy was the closest I have come to motherhood and as we know, children are supposed to outlive their parents. But this is not always the case.

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I was heartbroken for so long after I lost Jazz. This grief was deadening and isolating. I was practicing outpatient therapy full-time and so many of my clients spoke about their pets. Several had cats and these daily sessions were grueling. Eventually I found them healing in a cathartic manner. We do attract what we need, generally speaking. When I felt ready, I began to visit shelters to seek a new cat, not as a replacement, but as an extension of love. Dexter was much older than the kitten I initially desired, and he had been sent to the shelter more than once. It remains a mystery why this adorable soul was rejected not once, but twice!  I would like to believe that it was so I would eventually find him. Within a few short weeks, he settled in and showed me his true nature. I am amazed by his capacity for affection, verbal activity ( he talks more than I do!) and openness. Dex’s personality is the opposite of reserved Diva Jasmine who was more like Greta Garbo. Dex craves attention and human touch and is so delighted to meet * everyone who crosses his path (* squirrels and birds need not apply!)

 get-attachment (14)

What this boisterous ball of joy has taught me about the healing effects of love is boundless. There are no words that can accurately describe his ability to soothe my spirit with his perpetual demonstration of unconditional love.

I love you Dex.

 

POSTSCRIPT:
cool Dexter facts ~

he is left-pawed, just like me 🙂
he enjoys crossing his paws ( dainty indeed)
rolling over and inviting you to rub his belly IS his default position ( boy does he love belly rubs, don’t believe that old wive’s tale to never rub a cat’s belly!)

 

if you love all things warm and fuzzy ( including Sindy’s non- mammalian fish), you gotta visit this page: odyssians

Winter Review ~ Radical Empathy

Since some of my strongest writing mojo occurs when the Moon is in Taurus ( my natal 3rd house) I figured I would eke out a quick blog. This is the next segment in the  Winter Review “of weirdness” series ( in which I extended Winter from 9/17 through 3/18.)  The Thanksgiving 2017 period was fraught with challenges, a virtual shit storm, so let me tell you about that three-week time frame. While there were minor astrological happenings during this 3 week period, nothing extreme was at play.  No eclipses or major planetary transits, nada.

Since I did not have Black Friday off, I stayed home for the holiday and that was fine. Three days later I noticed strange pain emanating from my right hand. It quickly developed into a rash with blisters. I had examined both at work ( we have a nursing team) and 2 doctors. I was given anti viral meds and the area was biopsied. A couple of days later I develop hives from the anti-viral medication!

Kokoa

Fortunately I was able to have the time off to see a specialist since I was home anyway. This is because 2 days after I developed the finger inflammation,  I was in a three car collision. It took place right by Parx Casino, just a few minutes from my work. A car hit me from behind, causing my car to hit the car in front of me. I was increasingly upset as both drivers of the other cars fled the scene! I pulled off the road and called the police. My car aka Kokoa, was damaged, but I was able to drive it home. It is interesting to note that at the time of impact I was thinking about a recent news article I had read just days earlier, highlighting an intersection nearby as notoriously dangerous. And then boom!, I was hit! Sometimes I get a heads up and other times it is just a fear program inside my head.

The car took a few weeks to repair and I was offered a Mercedes as a rental for a very cheap rate. I forget exactly why, but it had to do with the amount of time needed to rent and their lack of choice of vehicles. It was so strange driving this Mercedes around. I was afraid I would damage it and it did not feel like a car I ought to drive. And yet, I welcomed to experience what it might be like to be affluent. I did enjoy the seat warmers and the keyless remote. I also liked how the mirrors would turn in when you lock the vehicle. I also wondered how I would be received on the road. I notice that SUVs and luxury cars seem to expect plenty of leeway. So this was  a chance to reinvent my driving persona.

wikipedia public domain

Meanwhile a week or so later I find out my hand condition is a contagious virus, with confusion about the diagnosis ( typical with my alien Aquarius rising body.) So I am at a training on AIDS and the trainer talks about getting a call from the health department. The next week we have another training with the same instructor. This is the day I get to pick up Kokoa from the shop. While at work I check my phone messages and I get a voicemail from the health department! I am thinking I may be HIV positive and I panic. I finally get the right person on the phone and find out they were inquiring about the virus on my hand, WTF? I was not notified that anyone had contacted the health department and I was pissed, yet relieved. So  I am driving to the auto shop and a cop pulls me over in the Mercedes, claiming I ran a red light. Here I am trying to get to the shop before it closes and I am stuck  waiting for the ticket to be completed.  Then I get home and see I have only one earring on. So along with everything else, I lost a new amethyst earring, which remains missing despite my efforts to retrieve it at work and the auto shop. Plus now I am worried I have too many points and may face a license suspension! How would I get to work? I am also aware that the drivers in both recent car accidents, (4/17 and 11/17) walked away while I paid several hundred dollars for car rental and repairs. The cop implies I should come to court. Weeks later I do go to court and he offers me a plea and changes the charges! So my points are removed, but they get more money from me in fees. Can anyone say SCAM ?

freerangestock.com

This was a lot of chaos in only a few short weeks, most of it occurring in the span of 2 days. I am still getting body work ( chiro and massage) to address my injuries, and have improved significantly. The massage therapist practices astrology so we talk about all things metaphysical each week. I still get recurrent outbreaks on both hands from this mystery virus, but it seems to be lessening in frequency and in intensity.

What did I learn? There is still no resolution to my mystery ailment or the odd synchronicity concerning learning about health department involvement at training and my subsequent call from the health department. I will share what I learned from my newish car Kokoa enduring two hit and runs within less than one year ; the first almost totaling the car, and the last causing me some physical and emotional distress. This is the situation that eventually led to clarity. After the speedy accumulation of so much fear, trauma, and anger, I was able to appreciate that the drivers are just ordinary humans, making poor choices. While I did not witness the first accident, I was there for the second one and saw the driver leaving the casino and driving recklessly, probably texting or drunk or both. The casino crowd is typically in a hurry to get to and from this  establishment. I could picture myself as a younger version of me, partying too hard and being careless.  I could also, eventually, see myself as the driver in the first accident – apparently wearing a hijab ( according to eye-witnesses) , racing up the hill and slamming right into my parked car, and successfully evading the efforts to be located and made accountable by the insurance company. Her vehicle was a painted over police car and had a very dark vibe. I tried to imagine a person who works the system and is troubled,  attempting to embrace her religious path. Yes, these are both stories I made up, but this is my process. It required a lot more time and work on my part to feel empathy for the first driver, because the accident seemed deliberate and malicious. However, that is just a judgement. Learning about my ancestry also helped mellow me a bit about those who are perceived as possible terrorists. I have had many judgments about women in the US with hajibs, based on my relationships with these particular women.  These judgments are ridiculous, but they were strongly held within me.  I see more and more each day how I could be any personality housed temporarily in any body with any set of circumstances and an ever-changing state of consciousness.

I also judged people who drive huge SUVS, Audis, Mercedes, and similar vehicles. Audis invariably tailgate with delight and without fail. Why, I don’t know, but this observation has made me very wary of this brand. All of these beliefs were based mostly on my encounters while driving. After a few weeks with the Mercedes, I realized quickly that I preferred my Honda and that Mercedes drivers are just souls in bodies! Imagine that! Like most of us, I have accumulated plenty of theories about people based on education, life experiences, or other people’s ideas. I do not want to be that person anymore.  Empathy can lead to forgiveness and I am pretty much living on Forgiveness Avenue. I still wonder why Kokoa has had so much drama, but I am learning to let it all go.

I consider this journey as a portal towards radical empathy, which differs from simply being sensitive to the energy of another being. It is about undoing years of negative ( and maybe ancestral) programming, feeling the hurt, and  finally releasing it back to Source.

Thanks for reading this not – so – short, short blog. Thanks also for helping me keep it real as I learn best in community. Most readers seem to prefer this raw unvarnished material, so enjoy this offering as a gift to you.

 

amethyst image courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

My Best Friend For Life

litebeing chronicles 2013

UPDATE 2018: It will be three years since Dexter passed on July 12th, 5 days from now. While I occasionally consider adopting again, I always find reasons to decline. My finances are unstable, or my health is unstable, or I want to travel, etc. The real truth is I am not ready yet. Like so many things, I won’t know until I know.

I spent some time around many cats while at a BBQ for the 4th of July. I clearly enjoyed their company and it appeared the feeling was mutual. For now, I will savor the time I have around felines however they find me. I continue to relish the love Dexter brought to me. He was a heart chakra activator extraordinaire.

Enjoy this post from 2015 ( below the 2016 update).

 

UPDATE 2016: July 12th will mark the one year anniversary of Dexter’s passing. Tomorrow will be more poignant for me because he passed on a Sunday. I am beginning to receive signs, some of which are rather bold, that is time to seriously explore adopting a new cat. While I will consider this guidance carefully, a part of me is still not quite ready. Dexter made me better, and I do not know if another soul can bring out the best that is left inside my soul.

Here is an old post written a week after Dex’s passing. It is heartfelt and chock full of excellent resources. Please send me some light tomorrow and show your loved ones how much they mean to you. It is everything.

Photo896

It has been incredibly challenging to simply survive this week. One week ago today, my beloved Dexter transitioned to another realm. So far this is a realm I cannot reach. I sincerely thank everyone here for their love and support. My longtime readers know that this year has not been an easy one. Your unwavering loyalty is priceless.

While writing is both my joy and my solace, words have not come easily to me lately. My pain is too great and my motivation too meager. Yet I do have a message to convey and I will attempt to do so to the best of my ability.

The week that Dexter died was a very busy one. While I know the word busy is relative, for me the increase in activity was substantial. Tuesday was the dentist, Wednesday and Thursday Caryn visited me, and Friday I took my car to the shop. Saturday, my last full day with Dexter was a blur, except for posting about master/students late at night. Sunday, of course, was my own private circle of hell. I wish I could remember more of my final day at home with Dexter, but I don’t. Unfortunately the details of last Sunday seem to be on a rotating loop inside my heart.

But I want to go back to earlier in the week to share some resources that have helped me and may help others who “stumble” upon my blog. Caryn and I have not been together in Philly since the 1990s. We did hang out last fall in NY after reconnecting on FB. I plan to blog about what brought me to NY, but that draft is not ready for completion. Caryn and I were so so busy: special Impressionist exhibition at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, movie night at an old lovely theater, 2 incredible meals ( one was Indian since we both adore it!) and a mini road trip to Longwood Gardens. Our 2 days were go go go and rather frenetic. The weather was horrible both days and my patience often wore thin. Yet grace did surround us in many ways: a deer crossing on a road where this “never” happens; a “random” encounter with a waiter that was filled with synchronicity, a gratis fruit platter that was a work of art in itself and discounts off our bill; and  the sheer joy of watching Caryn frolicking at Longwood for the very first time. The waterlilies  I am sharing were a highlight of this particular visit for me. They were not in bloom during my last two trips.

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Another source of peace was Matt Kahn. On Wednesday Caryn and I spoke about relationships and the nature of connections. That very evening I come home to notice a brand new video by Matt on soul mates and twin flames. In it he mentions, among many other things, that for some a soul mate may be their pet. This idea prompted me to refer to Dexter as my soul mate on my latest post. Matt refers to a soul mate as a balancing counterpart with little drama or intensity, but great love. While I do not agree with every point made, I find Matt’s take on the different type of soul connections to be fascinating and quite revelatory. This information is especially relevant in regards to next week’s Venus retrograde event.  I offer his video here:

 

Now I want to share some resources that have softened the loss by providing a rare understanding of my bond with my cats ( and most animals and inhabitants of the natural world) and some insight into the grieving process.

They are both courtesy of  Caryn and Karin, “the Carings” in my life. Caryn provided me with this link that really spoke to me. I am very picky about these grief expert offerings, perhaps because I provide these services in my work, or because I am quite discerning. In any case, this article was profoundly insightful. For those who may not understand the connection between human and animal, please take a look and your impressions may shift.

http://www.anaflora.com/grieving/beloved/beloved.html

I especially like both these passages:

The love of an animal permits us to unfold, to open up, drop our defenses and to be naked, not only physically but psychologically and spiritually as well. With an animal we let ourselves be seen instead of hiding behind our personalities, our cultures, our jobs, our clothing or our makeup. They know us as no one else does, in our private joys, angry rages, deepest despair, in sickness and in health. All the while their calm steady presence companions us with an unwavering love like few others on this earth. Our animal companions see through us to the very soul of our soul, encouraging the unfolding of a sacred trust. If there is such a thing as a soul mate, then surely this is it.

Many people have never been blessed with, or felt for themselves, the true love of an animal. They are incapable of understanding that your love for an animal may surpass your love for the humans that are the closest to you. It is a different bond, in a way, more profound; something only the heart understands. What I have learned over the years, as a student of grief and a student of many spiritual traditions, is that no guru, guide, master or friend no matter how enlightened can comfort the heart that believes it has lost what it holds most dear. Whether grieving ourselves, or consoling a grieving friend, often the most useful thing we can do is to simply tell our story. For in the story of our own journey through the gates of grief, or in bearing witness to the grief of another, we can at least legitimize the experience and make it “Sacred.”

Karin turned me on to this excellent video with medium Danielle MacKinnon that was posted just a few days ago. While I do hold some skepticism regarding animal communicators, Danielle is someone who naturally conveys authenticity and warmth. Please check it out if you are called to explore this topic further. What really struck me most was the question posed near the end of the interview.:

 Animals choose to pass at a particular time.  Ask yourself : What was it about this time that has meaning for you?

Here is the link for the video: https://wingingwithwhitehawk.wordpress.com/2015/07/16/pets-in-the-afterlife/

Finally I want to share some closing thoughts. It is so ironic that I have been so successful as a grief counselor. So very many clients over the years suffered unimaginable trauma and loss. I seem to be rather effective at facilitating healing for those in pain and was quite driven to focus on this area of therapy. Personally though, I suck at loss and death. I do not judge how I grieve, so please do not misconstrue my meaning. I just do not like to let go. I do not detach easily, especially if the bond was deep. Losing my first cat brought me to the brink of depression from which I doubted I would ever recover. Yet I did recover and I will recover from this loss. But this journey has just begun…

Let me conclude with a song that helps express the enormity of my love for Dexter. When I call him my best friend and soul mate, I am not exaggerating. It does not mean I do not love or have not loved other human beings deeply.

Dexter

It’s just different.


For a tribute to Dexter circa 2013ish, please visit OM’s site here.

Winter Review ~ I Can Hear Music

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Now that we are clearly into Summer in Eastern USA, with a wild heat wave in effect, I have decided to unpack my Winter. I am using Winter loosely, referring to late September through late March. With Mars and most of the other planets retrograde, I want to work with these energies and take a look deeper within.

I have been considering for weeks how exactly to approach writing about this topic. So many outside events triggered so much inner activity and I am still processing it. I decided to just follow my heart and take it step by step.

Feeling the fear: This is difficult to write about. And yet, this story has been waiting patiently to be heard and my readers deserve an explanation. If I had a nickel for every time I asked myself ” What would I do if my deepest fears were realized? “, I would have plenty of nickels! An event took place in September that rocked me to my core and was really a Godsend in disguise. Do any of you remember that I tool the blog private for a few weeks? Yes, I shut it all down and then simply declared I ‘m back.

Well now I will tell you what happened: I went on a second interview at the drug rehab facility and I was excited but nervous. I wanted this job, but lacked confidence that I was qualified. The woman who would be my immediate supervisor let me know that she googled me and read my blog. I thought ” How can this be? My name is not attached to it. ”  I was so shocked that it took me some time to compose myself. Scorpios like doing the hunting, not being the prey!  She wanted to know if I was planning on using Astrology as part of my therapy. Another person in the room said she would not want to see Astrology contained in the treatment plans. ” WTF? How stupid are these people and why are they asking these ridiculous questions? , I asked myself. ” What felt like an eternity later, I explained that Astrology has many merits and includes a means to explore personality, but that I am a Licensed professional and do not force my views on anyone. I revealed that if a client asked me about astrology that I would discuss it, but it does not drive my practice.

Clearly my answers were fine, because I was hired, but I was dumbfounded. I wrestled with putting my name on this blog and decided against it because my profession can be very conventional. I felt violated that this stranger was reading my blog and had access to so much personal information. Later I figured out how she landed here and I corrected the issue. Bottom line, sometimes what seems like the worst thing possible may just end up being incredibly awkward. I could never have predicted that she would ask me about astrology and was blindsided. I thought my hiring prospects were finished and I was wrong. Let me be clear, I am not ashamed of anything I write and most of my blogs are public. It is just that most people who visit litebeing chronicles are about the path. They are not looking for red flags. Anyway, I stopped writing for a while because I felt exposed, but eventually figured that my self-expression is way too important to be held hostage. You may wonder, what is the blessing? After some deliberation, I realized that I did survive it and the confrontation led to a positive outcome. I also realized that I judge myself more harshly than anyone else, and it was high time I let that go.

Have you ever felt concerned about who might read your musings?

How did you handle it?

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You’re on my mind like a song on the Radio: Many wild and woolly happenings occurred during my time working at the Rehab. My life seemed like I was living a dream while awake. Some events were enjoyable and others were unpleasant. Today I will share an in-between experience. Most readers know by now that the car radio serves as an oracle. So I tend to pay attention when patterns emerge while driving in my car. Three songs kept repeating and repeating and repeating.  All three are old and there was no logical explanation. They are not affiliated with the death of an artist, a sports franchise or a major holiday. I still hear them often now, expect maybe not with the same extreme frequency.

A few weeks into the job, the first song showed up. Cindy Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is a pop classic at this point. I liked it when it came out and it usually lifts my mood. While it is not unusual to hear it on the radio once or twice a month, I was hearing it several times a week. Sometimes I heard it every day. I mentioned it to my coworkers and they found it odd. I was even considering keeping a log just for my records.

Then a few weeks later the other two songs began to serenade me. They are very similar and also from the 1980s. They are associated with films and became rather popular for a few years. The frequency of the airplay was starting to get to me. On one occasion, one of the tunes was playing on 2 of my programmed stations at the same time. It was quite out of control. The songs are If You Leave and Don’t  You Forget About Me. They both are sung with yearning and sadness. They were referring to romance , but could also reflect the fear of feeling rejected or unimportant.

I was getting the impression that these songs were more than synchroncities, but rather premonitions. Perhaps I was given a heads up about the layoffs and my concerns about my patients after they left treatment. Clearly I was not having enough fun in my life, as it revolved around work, a brutal commute, and lots of bodywork appointments. But then again, there could be more to this , still left undiscovered. I strongly sense there is more to it, because the songs continue to play regularly.

Are there certain tunes you hear repeatedly on the radio ( playlists don’t apply.) ?

What meanings do they reveal to you?