Delicate ~ An Anatomy of a Relationship

Update: Facebook has an uncanny ability to stir up memories without warning. Apparently a year has gone by since I last posted pictures on FB from my last days working at a certain rehab in Bensalem, PA.

While this post has been sitting in the private archives for almost a year, I am resurrecting it now ( in time for Easter, ha!) to let it see the light of day. I understand from this vantage point how much my time spent in that setting (with a selection of incredibly influential  human Be – ings) continues to shape my present moments so profoundly.

Many readers responded so well to this material and I appreciate all the support, then and now.

Namaste


Caution: this is a loooong entry, so read at your own risk! However, if you really want to know me better and on another level, keep reading.

Okay, here goes nothing. I am fueled by smoked gouda and Merlot, ready to bare my soul. However, this post will not stay up here for long. I typically do not write this kind of material online. But inspired by the likes of my pal Dayna, whose blog I so admire, I figure, why the hell not? She writes so openly about her intimate experiences and through her vulnerability, I learn so much. So maybe something good will come of this. Plus I need to do this for myself. I need to purge the thoughts out of my self and onto “paper.”

After a night of cathartic crying, I decided I needed to write about this man I know. Yesterday I had brought home a bottle of Merlot and was relishing a peaceful evening with a restful sleep as my reward. Would you believe me if I told you the corkscrew broke in the cork and I could not open the bottle? This really happened and seems like a perfect representation of the past few weeks. Not getting what you want, even when it is staring you in the face. Today I bought a new corkscrew and another bottle of wine. So I go on to live another day encased in this material world , wondering what the hell is happening to myself and this beloved planet. Transiting Mars conjunct Pluto is in my 12th house of the hidden and unconscious. While this is new territory for me, as an empath I tend to pick up emotions from far and wide, along with my own. I am not handling it very well at all. Not lately, anyway.

It has been a good while since I felt something real for a man, that I figure it would be smart to jot it all down before it fades away. It certainly took me long enough to recognize what was going on. But I do understand why that is the case. More and more I see life as we know it as fated. All we can control is our reactions.

I could blame it on the Bensalem mojo that goes back all the way to 1982. When I was 21, I moved from New Jersey to Philly to complete my senior year of college and move in with a friend and her roommate. I needed a part-time job to help with expenses and found one as a residential advisor for IDD clients,  all the way in Bensalem. People who knew Pennsylvania well asked me why on Earth was I planning on driving all the way from West Phila to Bensalem for a part-time job? What was I thinking? I told them I had to take this job. I felt it in my bones, but there was no rational explanation.  I was willing to drive this distance, god knows why. Stubborn as I am, I took the job. The residence was located in a small housing development called Winding Brook. This gig was boring and not really worth the trouble. But within a few days I was dating the man who lived upstairs. We were not exactly coworkers, but operated in different programs on separate  floors of a two story house.  His pictures from his recent trip to India made a huge impression. The job did not last long, but since he lived upstairs ( he ran the program upstairs) I continued to trek up to Bensalem regularly to be with him. I drove by a rehab facility on the way to his house/my former work. It had an interesting name and I could only see the sign from the road. I was intrigued and so curious about this place. Little did I know I would be working there over 30 years later!

While my boyfriend and I eventually broke up, it was worth the drive. He was very special to me and we would move in and out of each others’ lives over the decades. The connections to Bensalem would continue to grow. A good friend of mine from graduate school would on his own initiative , get a job in the same program where my ex once lived. I remember calling him there and talking with a former coworker on the phone.

Then a few years later I met a man while working for the City. We both lived in Phila at the time. He took me to lunch and we got to know one another better. It turns out he used to live in Bensalem on that very same cul-de-sac. It also turned out that he worked with one of my clients from that program. For me that sealed the deal and I knew we would become involved. And we did.

He was, so far, the great love of my life.

Bensalem was beautiful then, and I had dreams of moving to Bucks county.  There was so much land and wide open spaces. There was promise. So one could say that Bensalem had its hold on me for a time.  But I moved on. So did the men I met from that cul-de-sac.

Back in September I applied to several jobs as an outpatient therapist. A few were by an organization that runs the aforementioned rehab. One day I received a call and saw the organization’s name on my caller ID. To my surprise, it was not about any of the jobs that I applied to. It was for a job as a rehab counselor in Bensalem. I asked the woman on the other end why she was calling. She said she saw my resume and thought I might be interested. This made no sense, since I had little experience with inpatient rehab and it was rather far way. But I took the interview and got the job. I took the job because it was that place in Bensalem, just a few blocks away from Winding Brook.

I then devoted the next few months of my life to little else. The commute was brutal, but I was committed. I wanted to work in addictions and felt called to do this work. I fell in love with the work and the place.  Initially I thought it was the best job I ever held. My impressions did not last, but my affection for my clients did. And then there was this man I met.

My office was located in ” the dungeon” with three other therapists. Everyone else was housed upstairs. My office was number 13! At first I did not like this arrangement, but later I came to appreciate it. I began to know a man whose office was right across the hall. He was certainly not my type and I wasn’t thinking about romance anyway.

What is my type you ask? Tall, wiry, confident, mysterious, charming and elusive. Sometimes he would be a “bad boy’ and he definitely played by his own rules. He was passionate, intense, and not so great with commitment.  The astro profile typically would be Sag or Cap rising, a fixed moon sign, and lots of fire and water in the chart. Along with the fire/water emphasis was a heavy dose of Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. I liked to play with cosmic “fire” and often got burned beyond recognition emotionally. No wonder I decided to quit the game of love.

So let me tell you about this guy: He seemed very familiar to me, but in an unfamiliar way. I knew his voice , from somewhere. He has a lovely voice. He is really smart, sweet, and kind. He is soft-spoken but very talkative. He is gentle, chivalrous, even-tempered, and generous. He is not conventionally handsome, but has lovely blue eyes. He is very curious about life and everything in it. He really cares about people and is well liked. He works very hard and his clients really appreciate him. He is rather traditional, but is open to new ideas and experiences.

We have many shared experiences and traits. He is left- handed, has natal mercury retrograde and an INFP profile ( mine is INFJ). He grew up in NJ, once lived in my current neighborhood, went to college with my sister ( a few years apart), and went to the same graduate program as me ( a few years apart). We also worked as therapists at the same office at an outpatient MH center ( but not at the same time.) I would imagine there are more overlaps, yet to be discovered. He was my confidant. He became my best friend at work. We would talk for hours about so many things. Eventually I noticed that whenever our group of coworkers were gathered, he was seated next to me. Christmas parties, lunches at the cafeteria, group pizza outings, group photos. He was always by my side. It took me awhile to notice what was developing. After all, he was my coworker and I was attempting to acclimate myself to a demanding new job where the expectations were very high and the learning curve was substantial.

Eventually I became aware that my behavior changed when he was around and that others were making comments about us. Then one day at a conference we spent the entire day together and I felt a vibe, if you will. I felt his energy field and I was surprised by my reaction. Again, he was not my type and I certainly would not get involved with someone whose office was right across the hall from mine.

But then the bad news came.  The scene has changed and the stakes are high. Massive layoffs were announced and most of the therapists lost their jobs. I intuitively knew something was off for weeks, but did not have the details. I was about to lose a job that I adored, where I was growing by leaps and bounds, and I was also about to lose my best friend.

The game had changed.

So he helped me pack up my office and take the boxes to my car. We had each other’s phone number and promised to stay in touch. I was a hot mess. As I drove away, the song Brave played on the radio. I drove by Winding Brook on the way home, to say goodbye.

We did talk on the phone and a few weeks later we all reassembled for a group dinner. His birthday was being celebrated, along with that of another former dungeon resident. He has been at the job for years and I was the newbie. He was quickly rehired and was able to remain full-time, due to the strong working relationships he had cultivated. While he was a guest of honor, he did not sit with the main clique. Instead he sat with me. I know he liked me as more than a friend by the things he would say and how he would say them. On the day that we were given the news about the layoffs, I made a comment at the meeting, asking my colleagues why they were silent and never complained about all the problems with upper management. Per usual, no one said a word. Then he exclaimed to this large group of people ” Linda, you are so awesome! ” I was a bit embarrassed, but also pleased. He saw me as the best version of myself. He often told me how much he admires my directness and ability to say the right thing at the right time. He always had a ready ear and was extremely compassionate. But it was the way he smiled at me that mattered most.

So I cried on the long drive home from the restaurant. Was I missing my job, my coworkers, Bensalem, or him? Bensalem broke my heart twice before, after-all. I was stunned by the depths of my emotions. I still am processing this traumatic loss.

The phone calls have seemed to stop and I feel abandoned. One the day we were let go, I told him he was my best friend and that I would miss him. I was oh so proud of myself for being in the moment.  He said he felt the same. Yet, so much was still unspoken. He still has the job, and I am back on my couch, doing my best to move forward.

I clearly can see why I don’t do relationships anymore. The emotions are so messy. I rather fix someone’s mess than look at my own. I am safer in the theoretical realm, where I can feel confident and well-adjusted. I do not want to jump when the phone rings, waiting to hear from him. I do not want to chase anyone or anything. Disappointment is painful.  Feeling vulnerable sucks, even when one is firmly engaged on the spiritual path.

I have this feeling that our connection is over and I am using this time to re-calibrate. It will be easier to separate now, instead of saying things I will later regret. One could suggest, be patient, it has only been a couple of weeks. I am not certain of anything. But I do not like what this entanglement has done to me. My heart aches and I abhor this feeling.

And I miss him.

I chose to put Delicate in the title because I caught a new Taylor Swift video tonight by that name. The lyrics seemed to echo many of my sentiments. Taylor has Saturn conjunct mine at 13 degrees Capricorn. She is approaching her first Saturn return as I approach my second. Her music really resonates with me and I look to her to help assess my emotional weather. I am taking a play from her book by writing about a man as a form of self-expression. Great minds think alike!

I could go on and write more about this, but my wine glass is close to empty and it has been a couple of hours. Even I am tired of this story now. Yet, it is so funny how a stranger can become so important so quickly and without warning. But I so suck at this and wish I was better equipped.

I welcome plenty of comments. If you think you would be better off sharing offline, please shoot me an email. I understand. Contact me before I lose my nerve and make this post private 🙂  Thanks for listening.

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain
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Finally!

Finally

Spring has come to my corner of Gaia,

After such a looooong sabbatical,

Blessing me with the manifestation of nature’s promise,

Glorious rapture of energy birthed into form

The wait was excruciating since last Spring,

When my cellphone photos were frozen in time,

Unwilling to allow me to share the blooms with you,

Until now a year later courtesy of Samsung and ATT

Just like magic, my health is re-bounding well,

After 2 months of physical hell

Rashes, viruses, and colon woes no more,

Freedom from bondage in this moment is pure

Do you see Beauty wherever you move?

Are your eyes opened or stuck in a sad groove?

Breathe gently with me and hear your heartbeat

Accept the sour and savor the sweet

My words don’t always rhyme

And life happens in its own time

Regardless of ego’s plans

Or outbursts and rants

You do what you can

And accept what you can’t

( until perhaps at some future timeline, you CAN)

I did not label this post as poetry, but I eked out some phrases in semi-rhythmic beats to convey my pleasure with seemingly forward movement. Winter 2019 was a spell of  “eternal stagnation, endless lifelessness and boundless misery “.

I spent just a few minutes outside today walking around my ‘hood snapping everything Springy in the midst of ferocious traffic and frenetic activity that seems odd for a Sunday afternoon. The weather was phenomenal and it felt great to bask in the beauty of this ephemeral season.

Grace is in the house!

Two Cool announcements:

 1 Please consider guest blogging for the Seeker’s Dungeon site headed by Sreejit. The topic is From Darkness to Light, one of my fav themes, and the vibe is wonderful over at Sreejit’s place. Check out the link https://theseekersdungeon.com/2019/04/05/spread-the-word-guest-bloggers-wanted/ and join the party for some deep soul-stirring stories and inspirational bonding with like-minded creative spirits.

2 While you are grooving to this Aries energy and planning your guest post, why not hop over tomorrow to the free Ancestral Healing summit over at The Shift Network? There are many great healers and teachers involved in this online event , such as Heather Dane , Sandra Ingerman and Gregg Braden. I am certainly intrigued about this topic and look forward to some awesome programming. Visit https://ancestralhealingsummit.com/ for the details.

Poetry – Grace Everpresent

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Where is Grace?

Grace is realizing the car keys are in your other pocket

Grace is when the cop gives you a warning this time

Grace is when the red birds descend on your terrace ” just because”

Grace is when you discover your checkbook error

that you subtracted one hundred dollars by mistake

Grace is when the sky opens and the sun tells the clouds to get lost for a spell

Grace is the neighbor’s cat who snuggles with you after yours has passed away

Grace is the stranger who helps you pick up your groceries off the floor

Grace is the MRI that reveals you don’t have that illness after all

Grace is accepting what is and surviving with renewed hope

Grace is a whole heart after a lifetime of shatters and scars

Grace is a million new beginnings

Grace is finding love way past your prime

Grace is everpresent

© litebeing chronicles 2013

update:

I wrote this poem , or rather this poem wrote me, from a place filled with a mixture of despair, emptiness, hope, and gratitude. Your response has been wonderful and I thank you.  My poetry has always been fueled by intense emotion and manifests only when it is good and ready. Stay tuned for new arrivals in future posts.

 

bird image courtesy of freerangestock.com
header image by © litebeing chronicles 2013

http://freerangestock.com/

Circles, Cycles and More ~ My Romance with Astrology

Happy International Astrology , Full Libra Moon and Spring Equinox! ( Autumn in the Southern Hemisphere 😀 )

public domain wikiart

Here we are, about to bid goodbye to Scorpio once more. While I feel the most ” like me ” at this time, the Saturn influence has made this past month at times bittersweet and often cruel or painful. But I am still convinced that we all are loved at every moment.

So I am going to tell you a unique love story. It is the romantic tale between Astrology and me. Thank you to the reader who inquired if I blogged on my astrological beginnings. Your inquiry helped me realize that I have only briefly mentioned those early awakenings. Since now is such a great time to pontificate on all 8th house matters, I am capitalizing on the current energy ( 4 Scorpio placements: Sun, Moon ,Mercury and Saturn) by sharing my love affair tonight.

 The Age of Aquarius, sorta

It was the 1960s in middle class America. I was a precocious , shy child ; quite insecure and fearful. I considered myself imperfect and I lived it. My world was not safe and I only had myself to rely on. At least that is how I felt.  But in second grade one of my teachers took an interest in me. She made me feel special and important. I mattered and it felt wonderful. We had a homework assignment and my project was to construct a solar system mobile out of papier-mache. I vaguely recall my teacher helping me assemble all the planets. They were beautiful. I loved the different shapes and colors contained in this model. Around the same time I became very excited about the space program and loved looking upward at the stars. I was so curious about what it was like to travel in space. Part of me sailed with the astronauts on every televised mission. My imagination knew no limits. What child doesn’t enjoy gazing into the vastness of the diamond sky?

I recently asked my mother if she knew who or what influenced my attraction to astrology. Unfortunately, she was not able to reveal anything. Most astrologers credit a mentor or other significant adult who introduced them to the practice early on. Or perhaps one originates from a long lineage of astrologers. I really had no one like that in my life.  I am aware, though, that astrology was quite popular in a very simplistic way while growing up. The occult vibe was always in the air. Ouija boards ( which scared me actually), magicians, the ” What’s your sign? ” pick up line, magic 8 ball, etc., were grist for the mill. I recently came upon an old Patty Duke Show episode on astrology, where she and her twin cousin pose as astrologers/ fortune tellers to raise money. The plot was so corny, but there was some actual astrological content in the episode. When she told her brother that she found all these astrological posters and books in the library, I cracked up with laughter. Maybe in Hollywood, California, but certainly not where I lived! I watched the show as a child and still remember its catchy theme song . Patty Duke portraying identical cousins was the theme, such a Gemini premise!

I could not find this particular episode on YouTube, but here is a short clip featuring the theme song, in classic black and white.   Patty Duke Show

Planets and hippies and slinkys, oh my! 

I still do not know exactly how I made the leap, but in second grade I began exploring the sun signs. As a child, I also met a woman ( hippie type) on vacation who shared some knowledge with me, This is a faint memory, but still a piece of the puzzle. My parents brought me back a coffee- table astrology book from their trip to Chicago. It was way over my head , but it increased my knowledge. I still have it to this day and take a peek once in a while. Being a visual person, the symbols fascinated me. I am also enchanted with circles. Check out my blog and you will see an abundance of circular imagery.  Any round or spiral like shape still reels me in. Whether collecting seashells on the beach or playing with Spirograph wheels , the 8 ball, or Slinkys, I was in my element, pun intended!  Even my parent’s dishes were full of fancy. I took some of them with me when I moved out of their house. Behold the hacienda pattern:

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Even my meals are mandala inspired.

 

So we take a sensitive lonely child who happens to have a strong Scorpio/ Uranus, 9th house signature and expose her to pop occult culture in 1960s America. Presto, she is transformed? Well, maybe not on the surface.  I suppose that’s all it took to get the ball rolling, because I was counseling pre-adolescent girls on zodiac sign relationship compatibility by the time I hit 6th grade! The predictive aspect of interpreting patterns also appealed to someone who was frequently uprooted through childhood. Cultivating some sense of control helped me cope with a very unpredictable upbringing. Both my interest in astrology and counseling developed as a way to attempt to heal myself.

Keep in mind that this is a world before major bookstores or the internet. It is still amazing to me that my environment created just enough of a spark to get me hooked. There also seems to be a sacred geometry factor here too with my interest in seashells and all things circular. Did I mention globes and kaleidoscopes? To learn more about my kaleidoscopic journey, check out my about page.

 

 The incredible beauty of an astrological chart, be still my heart.

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A little help from my friends

I read whatever was available on astrology and the metaphysical ( numerology, altered states of consciousness, etc)  in high school and college. There were few choices of substance, but I applied what I read out in the real world.  Then I met a real astrologer at my sister’s 16th birthday party. She provided all the guests with their very own solar chart. I was so excited! At this point I also became obsessed with psychics and tarot card readings. I would travel to Philadelphia with friends to get readings.  A few years later my boyfriend taught me how to interpret houses and aspects. In no time, I was further down the rabbit hole. More books were available, especially once I moved to Philly. As my horizons expanded, resources began to materialize, little by little. It was not until my twenties, however, that I began to really come into my own. By ” chance “, a few professional astrologers joined my social circle. At that point I was invited to monthly lectures and bought my first ephemeris. I learned to calculate a chart by hand! I took a few intro classes at a local community college and was a fixture at the local astrological society. The other attendees were my people. We spoke the same language and saw the world similarly. What a revelation after all this time. I was the newbie and certainly among the youngest in the group. But I was embraced and nurtured by these “elders” of the tribe.  A few of these folks remain in my life, for which I am grateful.

Before long, I was casting charts for everyone and anyone. Once I got over my fear of computers, a supervisor at work taught me how to use his basic program. My mind was blown that one could enter some data and generate a chart! I was so finished with the painstakingly slow process of mathematical calculations. This was a game changer and I am so glad I faced my fear of computers. In order to survive in our techno- crazy world, I would have had to do so eventually.

 

wikipedia public domain

The love affair continues

While my seeker personality has taken me all over the place in the quest for truth, my loyalty to astrology remains. While I don’t clearly understand why it works and struggle with this issue, especially when it is directed at me by a client, it just works. I take comfort in the fact that this practice predates the scientific study of astronomy and is used by most cultures around the world.

Why do I love it so? Words do not come easily here, but I will do my best to explain. There is the artistry that never fails to enthrall me. The psychological and spiritual knowledge that astrology can reveal brings clarity and peace to so many. This gift fulfills me so much as a professional ” helper”. The symbolism combined with reverence for the natural world resonate with me on a primal level. Experiencing the energies personally is incredible; a cosmic roller-coaster ride.

Inside my head

I will end this article by allowing my readers ( especially the non-astrologically minded) to take a brief glimpse inside my head. Astrologers approach life very differently from the rest of the world. When one is aware of the hourly, daily, weekly, etc. rhythms of the moon and other planetary bodies, you see the world in a unique way. For example, I plan social activities, business meetings, important phone calls, medical appointments and most travel according to transits. No job interview on a void of course moon.  Avoid a difficult conversation when the moon is conjunct mars. No car shopping while Mercury is retrograde. Delay the casino trip when Jupiter is squaring Neptune. Meet a new guy, find out his birthday! Saturn transiting the 8th house, be careful with credit cards. Pluto transiting the 6th house , don’t aggravate your supervisor. Welcome to my world, where I choose when to be spontaneous ( that is supposed to be funny, but perhaps ironic is more appropriate).

While not all astrologers make decisions as I do, most are regularly aware of planetary movements and how they can influence our lives. I often wonder how most people navigate life without an ephemeris (  a table of the assigned places of a celestial body for regular intervals ). But then again, I still encounter all kinds of obstacles, just like everyone else.  I am grateful though that I have some awesome tools at my disposal that help me serve others and enchant me in the process. I am never bored and always captivated.

Talk about romance!

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To learn how astrology can make a positive difference in your life: please contact me here. The holiday season is a great time to treat yourself, or a loved one, to a reading.

related post:

https://litebeing.com/2013/02/02/happy-february-why-astrology-works-a-biased-view/

image credits:

header by http://freerangestock.com/

planetary art courtesy of wikiart.org, public domain

solar system courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

 

Speaking What Is In My Heart.

Many of my readers also follow my dear friend Sue’s blog, but I am re-blogging her most recent post because I want as many folks as possible to receive her message and the energy behind it. Sue is such a blessing and her words and images are evocative and enlightening.

love, litebeing

Dreamwalker's Sanctuary

It is hard sometimes to speak what is on your mind, when there are no words to express what you feel. So I will just let my fingers do the talking as I allow my thoughts to flow freely.

At times it takes courage to pick up your Arrow of Truth, and speak it. But Time is running short!

Gaia is going through her own changes. She is causing many disruptions which are making us rethink, reshape and make huge life changes. Which in turn may bring uncertainties and fear, but many now are also sensing an urgency, to move, relocate, leave their unsatisfactory jobs or life styles. Or change the habits of a life time.

Or like me, you may just feel that need to escape into your own world, of peace and tranquillity as we reconnect deeper still within ourselves and our Earth Mother.

What we are witnessing…

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Spring Awakening Part II ~ Embrace Nature’s Splendor

Happy Mercury Retro in Pisces, Pisces New Moon and Uranus entering Taurus (the sequel). This reblog is about spring and here we are on the cusp of spring almost 1 year later!
Reblogs are de riguer during retro cycles so here is one to tide you over until I produce some new posts! This is a huge week so take some deep breaths and enjoy the ride!

litebeing chronicles

Not everyone is made aware of the beginning of a new cycle or season. Although Uranus is my ruling planet, I do not always notice a personal shift when it enters a new sign. This time I did observe a small but important event that announced this major transit. When Uranus first entered Aries, I bought a new cellphone and it had a camera. I used it to take pictures for this blog ( see photo above). A few weeks ago this old phone started buzzing when I turned it on. Sometimes it did not turn on at all. So after seven years I replaced my trusty blue not-so smart phone ( see photo below).

With many reservations, I opted for a smart phone. While I do not want to be a slave to conformity, I relished the notion of a higher quality camera.  I still keep the phone off…

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Litebeing’s Guide to the Movies

Hey, it’s Oscar time here in the States and what a wonderful day it is for all things cinematic. With Neptune in Pisces trine the Scorpio moon, supported by Saturn, Pluto and the nodes, this year’s festivities should be spectacular, even without a host! Do I have a favorite pick for best film? I did enjoy A Star is Born and am a long time Bradley Cooper fan, but I have not seen the other films. Most of them intrigue me, especially Roma, Black Panther, Bohemian Rhapsody and The Favourite. Honestly, all of the contenders look good! Please share any of your fav films, spiritual genre or otherwise.

litebeing chronicles

https://commons.wikimedia.org Alabama Theatre

While I am still busy preparing my Awakening post for Barbara’s challenge, I figured this old chestnut will tide my readers over for now. I hope to have it published by Sunday evening, but you never know..

So here is an oldie but goodie that will provide you with some excellent entertainment choices. Until we meet again, have a grace-filled weekend.

In honor of the Oscars on Sunday, I had to showcase some of my favorite spiritually themed films. This weekend’s Sun in Pisces, Moon in Scorpio energies are excellent for combining fantasy with passion. It is a great combo for just about any activity, in my opinion. Some of my choices are more obscure, and therefore less well-known. A few are controversial (big surprise!) , while others are more mainstream crowd pleasers.

Here’s an alphabetical list with my brief critiques below, enjoy!

Bee Season  (2005)

This movie stars Richard…

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Healing Weekend Retreat

Last weekend unexpectedly lead me to places near and far, old and new, all at once. I want to share some of the gifts received as a result of staying open and vulnerable. Meeting with my spiritual director last Saturday unleashed memories and visions that were both beautiful and haunting. It was interesting to witness how thoughts, feelings, and images seemed to ricochet off one another, in imperfect harmony.

The movement of thought is often fluid and in-congruent, organic and non-linear. Considering hope led me to read an email link about a Hope gathering led by Sandy Bloom, a woman I deeply respect who created the Sanctuary movement. I was fortunate to be an intern at the Sanctuary inpatient  unit while pursuing my MSS. I was especially lucky to have some contact with Dr. Sandra Bloom, including interviewing her for a graduate school paper about my internship. This interest in Sanctuary in some ways was triggered by an Insight training I attended in my twenties. While looking back on the Training, the criticism about it being cultish may have been valid. Yet it was a valuable experience, rich with many synchronicities, both beautiful and haunting ( yes, a pattern is emerging here!) One exercise in particular sticks in my mind. It was a meditation on creating a sanctuary. I put a pinball machine in mine and was amazed to discover that one of the assistants had also done so! The word sanctuary was already loaded because as a teen I liked the Sanctuary album by the J Geils Band. You see how this keeps going and going..

wikipedia pub domain

Anyway, I did a meditation with my spiritual director to connect with my sanctuary and I immediately envisioned a tree house. This is striking because I usually need some time before I settle down and get centered. This tree house was bathed in light and covered with ivy and was incredibly cozy and inviting. It was likely triggered in part by a very moving scene in Grey’s Anatomy I had watched just the week before. I also reflected back on the womb-like and mystical allure of caves, especially Crystal Cave that I visited as a child.

I left the meeting invigorated and ready for adventures of the internal kind. The next day I decided to go back to Woodmere Art Museum and get some ” art therapy. ” The visit was fueled by the potency of Saturday’s meditation/stream of consciousness. Here are some images from my visit:

I will leave you with a quote from one of the artists whose work was exhibited:

While the quote is about shining a light on Black History, I think it can also be applied to spiritual growth. I see it taking place within as I follow the threads that originated in my imagination, now taking new form.

tree house images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

How Am I Doing? ~ Mercury Direct Neptune Retro Wayward Pines Edition

I stumbled upon this post while searching my archives for Neptunian material. With Chiron at the tail end of Pisces and  Mercury conjunct Neptune in Pisces this is truly a time for profound healing and kissing the familiar goodbye. Cry, dream, create, sleep, pray,  play music, imagine with abandon, meditate, make love, let go and let God.

blessings, litebeing

litebeing chronicles

Photo607I could be grocery shopping right now. But I am here with AC blazing on a Friday afternoon. We are having a heat wave and this new development took me by surprise. Everyone has been talking about the intense Mercury Neptune energy. Honestly for me it is like a regular day at the office ( when I actually went to an office.) Translation: I have Neptune Sun Mercury conjunct in Scorpio ( a stellium) so my mind naturally rides the waves of hyper-imagination, empathy, fantasy, and susceptibility to deception or illusion.

Having said that, I still am taking life slowly and simply for a few more days, focusing more on the inner journey and escapism entertainment. I am really enjoying this new Fox show Wayward Pines. I will not give away the plot twist but will say how wonderful it is to see Matt Dillon back on-screen and…

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Art is My Medicine ~ The Embrace Edition

Whether it is literal or symbolic, today’s art selection is about the embrace. Embracing romance, sensuality, bonding, divine love, all will apply. Rather than posting some snarkfest or relay bitter musings on love life of my past, I prefer to heal the heart with some exquisite paintings by a variety of artists. HEART = ART = LOVE so heart is my medicine!  Happy Valentine’s Day!  ❤ ❤ ❤

Do enjoy!

wikiart.org pub domain

What do you Embrace?

 

images courtesy of wikiart.org, public domain