Seeing Ain’t Believing

Ever since Ascension has become a hot topic in metaphysical/spiritual circles, I have wondered if some or all of my odd physiological ailments were due to upgrades or plain 3D aging. I still do not have any clear answers, but figured the current Sun square Neptune aspect was a great time to explore this latest mystery.

Back in March, I had just begun a new job which included working nights. My night vision is not so hot and my eyes tire after spending long hours in front of a computer screen. About 20 minutes after arriving home one night, I tune into a favorite TV series. It is hard to follow the storyline because there is a disco ball flashing inside my head. At least that is what it looks like to me. For close to half an hour I see gold lights quickly flashing  within my field of vision, in both eyes. I was really scared, but hoping for the best outcome. After freaking a few years back after the floaters arrived, I decided not to panic. I told myself that if this incident was a ” one and done”, there would be no need to take action. The floaters, ( dark shadowy figures that enter from the corner of the eye) turned out to be nothing, according to my ophthalmologist. So this weirdness dissipated, never to return. But when a Facebook friend posted about eye flashes and retinal surgery, I went into panic mode. I saw the new doctor ( as mine had retired) who minimized the whole affair and concluded my retinas were fine before she examined them. She diagnosed me with ocular migraines and claimed I have a history of them. ( No I did not, I had old- fashioned migraine headaches; I would have remembered an in-house disco show.) Ocular migraines are “brain farts” that show up in the field of vision, related to auras that some people experience before experiencing a migraine episode. I have not seen auras yet, neither the migraine kind or the energy – field observed above one’s crown chakra variety.

A few weeks after the ophthalmologist visit, I saw a light green light on someone’s jacket at work. I surmised it was a reflection from something outside the window. When I noticed the same colored light the next morning in the bathroom, I panicked. ” Why am I seeing colors that are not there? ” I do not use magic mushrooms or take acid or other hallucinogens. I am not sleep deprived nor am I losing my mind. I was worried I might be losing my eyesight though. So I called the ophthalmologist office and told the assistant about my symptoms. She called back after consulting with the doctor and assured me this is an ocular migraine. I did not recall being told during my checkup that seeing colors was another possible sign of an ocular migraine. Did you know that this type of migraine is not related to the eyes but to the visual cortex part of the brain?

Apparently, this phenomenon is rare, which makes sense to me. I tend to develop odd or rare health issues ( Aquarius rising with an angular Uranus and strong Saturn in Capricorn). But it does beg the question, why now? Are there more visual hallucinations in my future? Per usual, I was told no one really knows about their origins or how to prevent them, except to avoid stress. Okay, no more stress for me then!

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I wish I could tell if there is a mystical component here, maybe a 5D upgrade perhaps? Or is it simply another manifestation of an aging body and a stressful life? Or is it both? Or neither? I wish I had a clue. I really do.

Please share in the comments if you have had a similar eye event.

An inquiring mind ( mine) wants to know.

Some may find it exciting, but my hold on reality does not need this type of excitement. I was never a fan of disco and grew up during the Disco Sucks movement. Maybe I feel this way because of some of the songs played on a continuous loop during my formative years.

Like this one:

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain
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Tree House Refuge

I knew upon seeing this sign that it would be prominently placed in a future post. We are always one, whether we like it or acknowledge it. It just is. This entry is a follow up to my post in February about the treasures unleashed at a recent consult with my Spiritual Director. It took me a few months but I finally made it over to Morris Arboretum to revisit their TreeHouse exhibit. I picked a day that turned out to be warmer than expected and the place was packed with families and their young children. As an introvert, my pursuit of peace was not found during this trip. Yet, the TreeHouse was lovely and the Rose Garden was in full bloom. And then I discovered the Garden Railway was back “on track.” Sorry, I had to go there!

While this excursion ( only about 10 minutes from home) was neither mystical or freeing, the photos I took are lovely and the signage about Interconnection was not lost on me. Here are a few shots from the Arboretum:

The sky was so vibrantly blue and I had seen so much of the place with fresh eyes. But it was almost closing time and I was feeling oddly dehydrated so my exploration was put on hold for another time.

You see, the day before my visit was very intensely emotional for me and I felt quite depleted.  Sadly, the  ” Treehouse refuge ” I was seeking still remains elusive. I still have much to process as my recent homecoming was certainly not idyllic. I am in no hurry though. I have learned not to rush the process. My spirit does feel some comfort though from my snapshots of nature on this ordinary Spring afternoon. I hope you find them comforting as well.

 

A House is Not a Home

Thanks to the magic of Google maps, I do not have to take a new image to show my childhood home. I lived here from the end of 6th grade through junior year of college. The house was white with light blue trim originally but my parents decided on a chocolate brown upgrade.

I recently learned that my mother sold our house to move into an older adult apartment community, aka retirement place where people go to die community. I know this is strong language, but I am speaking my truth. She has wanted to sell even before my dad died, over 10 years ago. I do not know if I will get the chance to see it in-person one last time before she vacates.

Here’s the thing: I spent most of my childhood in various apartments in four states from birth to age 11. I had 4 homes from 2nd through 6th grade, including going to two different schools in separate states for both 5th and 6th grades. We finally “settled down ” when I was 11 as my parents purchased this modest home in a predominantly affluent housing development. It is the only house I ever lived in, with a yard and separation from neighbors. This meant privacy and less noise ( outside of my family dramas). Why my parents could not wait for the summer to move says way more about how I was parented then anything else. My moon in Gemini in the fourth house would speak to the frequent disruptions, but damn, my dad was not in the military!

This ordinary suburban split level structure was filled with drama, kind of like Game of Thrones, but without the dragons or intriguing character arcs. It contained plenty of power plays, betrayals, and arguments. I would not call it a happy home. But a house is not a home.

I have not as of yet lived in a house as an adult. My homes have all been apartments. While my current home is fine, it is small and a bit crowded with stuff because of insufficient storage space. Maybe this is partly why I am having some difficulty letting my old house go. This is a place, mind you, that I rarely visited once I moved away. I could not wait to get out of there and told myself I would not return. My sister did live there a few years after college, but I did not.

The therapist part of me knows that I still want to ” reclaim my childhood” before letting go of the house. I have done as much inner work as I can on this. When I consider the fond memories, they are overshadowed by darkness, with one exception.

That would be the music.

My mom plays piano well and this gift was passed down from her father who learned by ear. I don’t know how he was exposed to the piano, but he did play in the silent movie theaters, so I am told. The house was warm with emotion when my mom sang and played on many an evening. She lit up completely while playing. I believe she was born to play. She says the piano is going with her to the new place.

Google maps has made it possible for me to move on even if I cannot find time for a visit before the place is packed up or occupied by the new residents. I hope they make it a house filled with love. When or if they have children ( it is a young couple), I pray they figure out how to parent them well, or well enough. Maybe then they won’t all grow up to be therapists and heal others as a way to address their unhealed parts.

I am afraid this post is coming off rather bitter, but this is not my intention. I am still figuring out why I am bothered so much by this event. I can understand why my mother wants to live among people her age and have activities and transportation at her disposal. All I know is that I feel sad and a bit confused.

I am well aware that home is inside me, at the seat of my soul. A house is a structure made up of matter, which is not solid. I don’t remember my family being that messed up until we moved in. Perhaps it had to do with my parents’ entrance into middle age and the state of the marriage. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I will continue living life the best I know how, with faith that I can find joy and peace within. And some sweet music wouldn’t hurt either.

Catching Up

Greetings litebeings! It has been a good stretch since I posted anything, especially anything new. I have been working on balancing my life, and practicing self-care to increase my inner resilience. I am also working on  a guest post that is rather intense. I hope everyone out there is enjoying the change of season. It is an exceptionally rainy May in my neck of the woods.

Speaking of woods, here are a few photos from my latest trip to Longwood Gardens:


I have been re-vitalizing my meditation practice with a different type of breathing and adding chanting back to the mix. I recently learned that an extended exhale and the act of chanting help relax the vagus nerve, which plays a role in heart rate and digestion. I am also enjoying select lectures from the Hay House Summit, which is happening right now. I enjoyed an interview with Esther Hicks and a video featuring Caroline Myss. Check it out and discover an array of material on all things metaphysical.

Finally, I want to extend a Happy Mother’s Day to all who love and nurture others. Ceres the grain goddess is also a very maternal figure and while I do not have children, my prominent Ceres makes me an Earth Mother of sorts, particularly to those of the feline persuasion. Let’s honor those who extend affection, protection, and care to those in need to foster their development and well -being.

Even when I am away, my thoughts and energy are always with my readers, followers, fellow writers and all that connect with me at litebeing chronicles.

Namaste, litebeing

 

Make Earth Great Again ~ Earth Day 2019

Here is the version I meant to publish, but you can never have enough tributes to Gaia!

I adore Bill Maher and borrowed his tagline from last night’s New Rules segment as the title for this post. I do not think that Earth is not already great, but I do think it urgently needs extreme nurturing and collective respect. Sometimes a catchy slogan makes a difference. It did in the US presidential campaign.

While Bill’s rant is a bit satirical, he is a passionate environmentalist who often features activist scientists on his show. Check out this video and leave me your comments below:

Happy Earth Day!

image credits ~ litebeing chronicles © 2019

Alleluia, and Good Morning

This blog says so eloquently what I have felt for many years. Blessings on this weekend that celebrates the portal to rebirth and re-newal.

innerwoven

Resurrection.jpgToday is, for many, a day without irony. It is a day one can see not just daylight through cracks in tomb doors, but can look back into what was their tomb from the satisfying light of a new dawn.

These patterns of light and dark, day and night, life and death happen so regularly that they’re almost not worth mentioning. Except, they are.

The ancients call it Paschal Mystery. A repeating pattern of living and dying and renewing that, through the eternal Christ, is everywhere present, everywhere accessible.

Faith is merely the God-given sight necessary to awaken to it. And Easter is the primal, archetypal key that opens that door.

Today is Easter. Resurrection. All that was dark, dead, hopeless, and not, is brought back into glorious harmony with God and the cosmos. Through Christ, today, we feel its warmth. Today, we know its hope.

Today is for all…

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Finally!

Finally

Spring has come to my corner of Gaia,

After such a looooong sabbatical,

Blessing me with the manifestation of nature’s promise,

Glorious rapture of energy birthed into form

The wait was excruciating since last Spring,

When my cellphone photos were frozen in time,

Unwilling to allow me to share the blooms with you,

Until now a year later courtesy of Samsung and ATT

Just like magic, my health is re-bounding well,

After 2 months of physical hell

Rashes, viruses, and colon woes no more,

Freedom from bondage in this moment is pure

Do you see Beauty wherever you move?

Are your eyes opened or stuck in a sad groove?

Breathe gently with me and hear your heartbeat

Accept the sour and savor the sweet

My words don’t always rhyme

And life happens in its own time

Regardless of ego’s plans

Or outbursts and rants

You do what you can

And accept what you can’t

( until perhaps at some future timeline, you CAN)

I did not label this post as poetry, but I eked out some phrases in semi-rhythmic beats to convey my pleasure with seemingly forward movement. Winter 2019 was a spell of  “eternal stagnation, endless lifelessness and boundless misery “.

I spent just a few minutes outside today walking around my ‘hood snapping everything Springy in the midst of ferocious traffic and frenetic activity that seems odd for a Sunday afternoon. The weather was phenomenal and it felt great to bask in the beauty of this ephemeral season.

Grace is in the house!

Two Cool announcements:

 1 Please consider guest blogging for the Seeker’s Dungeon site headed by Sreejit. The topic is From Darkness to Light, one of my fav themes, and the vibe is wonderful over at Sreejit’s place. Check out the link https://theseekersdungeon.com/2019/04/05/spread-the-word-guest-bloggers-wanted/ and join the party for some deep soul-stirring stories and inspirational bonding with like-minded creative spirits.

2 While you are grooving to this Aries energy and planning your guest post, why not hop over tomorrow to the free Ancestral Healing summit over at The Shift Network? There are many great healers and teachers involved in this online event , such as Heather Dane , Sandra Ingerman and Gregg Braden. I am certainly intrigued about this topic and look forward to some awesome programming. Visit https://ancestralhealingsummit.com/ for the details.

Poetry – Grace Everpresent

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Where is Grace?

Grace is realizing the car keys are in your other pocket

Grace is when the cop gives you a warning this time

Grace is when the red birds descend on your terrace ” just because”

Grace is when you discover your checkbook error

that you subtracted one hundred dollars by mistake

Grace is when the sky opens and the sun tells the clouds to get lost for a spell

Grace is the neighbor’s cat who snuggles with you after yours has passed away

Grace is the stranger who helps you pick up your groceries off the floor

Grace is the MRI that reveals you don’t have that illness after all

Grace is accepting what is and surviving with renewed hope

Grace is a whole heart after a lifetime of shatters and scars

Grace is a million new beginnings

Grace is finding love way past your prime

Grace is everpresent

© litebeing chronicles 2013

update:

I wrote this poem , or rather this poem wrote me, from a place filled with a mixture of despair, emptiness, hope, and gratitude. Your response has been wonderful and I thank you.  My poetry has always been fueled by intense emotion and manifests only when it is good and ready. Stay tuned for new arrivals in future posts.

 

bird image courtesy of freerangestock.com
header image by © litebeing chronicles 2013

http://freerangestock.com/

Circles, Cycles and More ~ My Romance with Astrology

Happy International Astrology , Full Libra Moon and Spring Equinox! ( Autumn in the Southern Hemisphere 😀 )

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Here we are, about to bid goodbye to Scorpio once more. While I feel the most ” like me ” at this time, the Saturn influence has made this past month at times bittersweet and often cruel or painful. But I am still convinced that we all are loved at every moment.

So I am going to tell you a unique love story. It is the romantic tale between Astrology and me. Thank you to the reader who inquired if I blogged on my astrological beginnings. Your inquiry helped me realize that I have only briefly mentioned those early awakenings. Since now is such a great time to pontificate on all 8th house matters, I am capitalizing on the current energy ( 4 Scorpio placements: Sun, Moon ,Mercury and Saturn) by sharing my love affair tonight.

 The Age of Aquarius, sorta

It was the 1960s in middle class America. I was a precocious , shy child ; quite insecure and fearful. I considered myself imperfect and I lived it. My world was not safe and I only had myself to rely on. At least that is how I felt.  But in second grade one of my teachers took an interest in me. She made me feel special and important. I mattered and it felt wonderful. We had a homework assignment and my project was to construct a solar system mobile out of papier-mache. I vaguely recall my teacher helping me assemble all the planets. They were beautiful. I loved the different shapes and colors contained in this model. Around the same time I became very excited about the space program and loved looking upward at the stars. I was so curious about what it was like to travel in space. Part of me sailed with the astronauts on every televised mission. My imagination knew no limits. What child doesn’t enjoy gazing into the vastness of the diamond sky?

I recently asked my mother if she knew who or what influenced my attraction to astrology. Unfortunately, she was not able to reveal anything. Most astrologers credit a mentor or other significant adult who introduced them to the practice early on. Or perhaps one originates from a long lineage of astrologers. I really had no one like that in my life.  I am aware, though, that astrology was quite popular in a very simplistic way while growing up. The occult vibe was always in the air. Ouija boards ( which scared me actually), magicians, the ” What’s your sign? ” pick up line, magic 8 ball, etc., were grist for the mill. I recently came upon an old Patty Duke Show episode on astrology, where she and her twin cousin pose as astrologers/ fortune tellers to raise money. The plot was so corny, but there was some actual astrological content in the episode. When she told her brother that she found all these astrological posters and books in the library, I cracked up with laughter. Maybe in Hollywood, California, but certainly not where I lived! I watched the show as a child and still remember its catchy theme song . Patty Duke portraying identical cousins was the theme, such a Gemini premise!

I could not find this particular episode on YouTube, but here is a short clip featuring the theme song, in classic black and white.   Patty Duke Show

Planets and hippies and slinkys, oh my! 

I still do not know exactly how I made the leap, but in second grade I began exploring the sun signs. As a child, I also met a woman ( hippie type) on vacation who shared some knowledge with me, This is a faint memory, but still a piece of the puzzle. My parents brought me back a coffee- table astrology book from their trip to Chicago. It was way over my head , but it increased my knowledge. I still have it to this day and take a peek once in a while. Being a visual person, the symbols fascinated me. I am also enchanted with circles. Check out my blog and you will see an abundance of circular imagery.  Any round or spiral like shape still reels me in. Whether collecting seashells on the beach or playing with Spirograph wheels , the 8 ball, or Slinkys, I was in my element, pun intended!  Even my parent’s dishes were full of fancy. I took some of them with me when I moved out of their house. Behold the hacienda pattern:

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Even my meals are mandala inspired.

 

So we take a sensitive lonely child who happens to have a strong Scorpio/ Uranus, 9th house signature and expose her to pop occult culture in 1960s America. Presto, she is transformed? Well, maybe not on the surface.  I suppose that’s all it took to get the ball rolling, because I was counseling pre-adolescent girls on zodiac sign relationship compatibility by the time I hit 6th grade! The predictive aspect of interpreting patterns also appealed to someone who was frequently uprooted through childhood. Cultivating some sense of control helped me cope with a very unpredictable upbringing. Both my interest in astrology and counseling developed as a way to attempt to heal myself.

Keep in mind that this is a world before major bookstores or the internet. It is still amazing to me that my environment created just enough of a spark to get me hooked. There also seems to be a sacred geometry factor here too with my interest in seashells and all things circular. Did I mention globes and kaleidoscopes? To learn more about my kaleidoscopic journey, check out my about page.

 

 The incredible beauty of an astrological chart, be still my heart.

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A little help from my friends

I read whatever was available on astrology and the metaphysical ( numerology, altered states of consciousness, etc)  in high school and college. There were few choices of substance, but I applied what I read out in the real world.  Then I met a real astrologer at my sister’s 16th birthday party. She provided all the guests with their very own solar chart. I was so excited! At this point I also became obsessed with psychics and tarot card readings. I would travel to Philadelphia with friends to get readings.  A few years later my boyfriend taught me how to interpret houses and aspects. In no time, I was further down the rabbit hole. More books were available, especially once I moved to Philly. As my horizons expanded, resources began to materialize, little by little. It was not until my twenties, however, that I began to really come into my own. By ” chance “, a few professional astrologers joined my social circle. At that point I was invited to monthly lectures and bought my first ephemeris. I learned to calculate a chart by hand! I took a few intro classes at a local community college and was a fixture at the local astrological society. The other attendees were my people. We spoke the same language and saw the world similarly. What a revelation after all this time. I was the newbie and certainly among the youngest in the group. But I was embraced and nurtured by these “elders” of the tribe.  A few of these folks remain in my life, for which I am grateful.

Before long, I was casting charts for everyone and anyone. Once I got over my fear of computers, a supervisor at work taught me how to use his basic program. My mind was blown that one could enter some data and generate a chart! I was so finished with the painstakingly slow process of mathematical calculations. This was a game changer and I am so glad I faced my fear of computers. In order to survive in our techno- crazy world, I would have had to do so eventually.

 

wikipedia public domain

The love affair continues

While my seeker personality has taken me all over the place in the quest for truth, my loyalty to astrology remains. While I don’t clearly understand why it works and struggle with this issue, especially when it is directed at me by a client, it just works. I take comfort in the fact that this practice predates the scientific study of astronomy and is used by most cultures around the world.

Why do I love it so? Words do not come easily here, but I will do my best to explain. There is the artistry that never fails to enthrall me. The psychological and spiritual knowledge that astrology can reveal brings clarity and peace to so many. This gift fulfills me so much as a professional ” helper”. The symbolism combined with reverence for the natural world resonate with me on a primal level. Experiencing the energies personally is incredible; a cosmic roller-coaster ride.

Inside my head

I will end this article by allowing my readers ( especially the non-astrologically minded) to take a brief glimpse inside my head. Astrologers approach life very differently from the rest of the world. When one is aware of the hourly, daily, weekly, etc. rhythms of the moon and other planetary bodies, you see the world in a unique way. For example, I plan social activities, business meetings, important phone calls, medical appointments and most travel according to transits. No job interview on a void of course moon.  Avoid a difficult conversation when the moon is conjunct mars. No car shopping while Mercury is retrograde. Delay the casino trip when Jupiter is squaring Neptune. Meet a new guy, find out his birthday! Saturn transiting the 8th house, be careful with credit cards. Pluto transiting the 6th house , don’t aggravate your supervisor. Welcome to my world, where I choose when to be spontaneous ( that is supposed to be funny, but perhaps ironic is more appropriate).

While not all astrologers make decisions as I do, most are regularly aware of planetary movements and how they can influence our lives. I often wonder how most people navigate life without an ephemeris (  a table of the assigned places of a celestial body for regular intervals ). But then again, I still encounter all kinds of obstacles, just like everyone else.  I am grateful though that I have some awesome tools at my disposal that help me serve others and enchant me in the process. I am never bored and always captivated.

Talk about romance!

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To learn how astrology can make a positive difference in your life: please contact me here. The holiday season is a great time to treat yourself, or a loved one, to a reading.

related post:

https://litebeing.com/2013/02/02/happy-february-why-astrology-works-a-biased-view/

image credits:

header by http://freerangestock.com/

planetary art courtesy of wikiart.org, public domain

solar system courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain