Neptune Retrograde ~ End of the Line

Happy Neptune Retrograde! Yes, another re-tread but with an update. I wrote this post about 1 year ago. Fast forward to now and I am also working in addictions, doing groups, with mostly males. I reinstated the Friday music exercise with a few adjustments. The interpretations of this transit remain the same. Go with the flow, slow down, and find your internal GPS.

love to all, litebeing

litebeing chronicles

This has not been an easy time, but when has it ever been easy? While  transiting Jupiter retrograded back on my natal Sun over the past few days, I spent most of the time physically ill and/or exhausted. Astrology is complicated and sometimes transits do not show up in a standard way. The late Donna Cunningham wrote about this topic and postulated that often astrological transits trigger internal events, even when it looks like they ought to be external.

I am not certain, but what I do know is how grateful I feel when the pain subsides or when I am able to just let go and be with the pain. How can we know sweet without bitter, light without dark? In the material world, duality is here to teach us the range of creation. Lately, I have noticed that more nudges have appeared, bringing into focus the complexity of…

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Gratitude at Solstice

Happy Solstice everyone! Good Morning Starshine! Here’s to celebrating the light within and without.

https://youtu.be/NF7dKUz-Q7M

litebeing chronicles

Happy Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere and Happy Winter Solstice in the Southern Hemisphere! I am grateful to have readers all over the globe who grace me with their presence. One of many things I am grateful for.

I plan to use today to impart a radical gratitude practice. I do this now, rather than stew in all my problems or disappointments. In his new book, Everything is Here to Help You, Matt Kahn espouses that every circumstance will help us bring about more love for ourselves and each other. I much rather conclude that Source is conspiring for me, rather than against me.

I can feel the increase of light and warmth and am drinking it in. I live in such a beautiful neighborhood and am so lucky to be surrounded by trees and creatures of all kinds. As dusk approaches, my thoughts begin to settle down…

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Seeing Ain’t Believing

Ever since Ascension has become a hot topic in metaphysical/spiritual circles, I have wondered if some or all of my odd physiological ailments were due to upgrades or plain 3D aging. I still do not have any clear answers, but figured the current Sun square Neptune aspect was a great time to explore this latest mystery.

Back in March, I had just begun a new job which included working nights. My night vision is not so hot and my eyes tire after spending long hours in front of a computer screen. About 20 minutes after arriving home one night, I tune into a favorite TV series. It is hard to follow the storyline because there is a disco ball flashing inside my head. At least that is what it looks like to me. For close to half an hour I see gold lights quickly flashing  within my field of vision, in both eyes. I was really scared, but hoping for the best outcome. After freaking a few years back after the floaters arrived, I decided not to panic. I told myself that if this incident was a ” one and done”, there would be no need to take action. The floaters, ( dark shadowy figures that enter from the corner of the eye) turned out to be nothing, according to my ophthalmologist. So this weirdness dissipated, never to return. But when a Facebook friend posted about eye flashes and retinal surgery, I went into panic mode. I saw the new doctor ( as mine had retired) who minimized the whole affair and concluded my retinas were fine before she examined them. She diagnosed me with ocular migraines and claimed I have a history of them. ( No I did not, I had old- fashioned migraine headaches; I would have remembered an in-house disco show.) Ocular migraines are “brain farts” that show up in the field of vision, related to auras that some people experience before experiencing a migraine episode. I have not seen auras yet, neither the migraine kind or the energy – field observed above one’s crown chakra variety.

A few weeks after the ophthalmologist visit, I saw a light green light on someone’s jacket at work. I surmised it was a reflection from something outside the window. When I noticed the same colored light the next morning in the bathroom, I panicked. ” Why am I seeing colors that are not there? ” I do not use magic mushrooms or take acid or other hallucinogens. I am not sleep deprived nor am I losing my mind. I was worried I might be losing my eyesight though. So I called the ophthalmologist office and told the assistant about my symptoms. She called back after consulting with the doctor and assured me this is an ocular migraine. I did not recall being told during my checkup that seeing colors was another possible sign of an ocular migraine. Did you know that this type of migraine is not related to the eyes but to the visual cortex part of the brain?

Apparently, this phenomenon is rare, which makes sense to me. I tend to develop odd or rare health issues ( Aquarius rising with an angular Uranus and strong Saturn in Capricorn). But it does beg the question, why now? Are there more visual hallucinations in my future? Per usual, I was told no one really knows about their origins or how to prevent them, except to avoid stress. Okay, no more stress for me then!

wikipedia.org pub domain

I wish I could tell if there is a mystical component here, maybe a 5D upgrade perhaps? Or is it simply another manifestation of an aging body and a stressful life? Or is it both? Or neither? I wish I had a clue. I really do.

Please share in the comments if you have had a similar eye event.

An inquiring mind ( mine) wants to know.

Some may find it exciting, but my hold on reality does not need this type of excitement. I was never a fan of disco and grew up during the Disco Sucks movement. Maybe I feel this way because of some of the songs played on a continuous loop during my formative years.

Like this one:

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Tree House Refuge

I knew upon seeing this sign that it would be prominently placed in a future post. We are always one, whether we like it or acknowledge it. It just is. This entry is a follow up to my post in February about the treasures unleashed at a recent consult with my Spiritual Director. It took me a few months but I finally made it over to Morris Arboretum to revisit their TreeHouse exhibit. I picked a day that turned out to be warmer than expected and the place was packed with families and their young children. As an introvert, my pursuit of peace was not found during this trip. Yet, the TreeHouse was lovely and the Rose Garden was in full bloom. And then I discovered the Garden Railway was back “on track.” Sorry, I had to go there!

While this excursion ( only about 10 minutes from home) was neither mystical or freeing, the photos I took are lovely and the signage about Interconnection was not lost on me. Here are a few shots from the Arboretum:

The sky was so vibrantly blue and I had seen so much of the place with fresh eyes. But it was almost closing time and I was feeling oddly dehydrated so my exploration was put on hold for another time.

You see, the day before my visit was very intensely emotional for me and I felt quite depleted.  Sadly, the  ” Treehouse refuge ” I was seeking still remains elusive. I still have much to process as my recent homecoming was certainly not idyllic. I am in no hurry though. I have learned not to rush the process. My spirit does feel some comfort though from my snapshots of nature on this ordinary Spring afternoon. I hope you find them comforting as well.

 

A House is Not a Home

Thanks to the magic of Google maps, I do not have to take a new image to show my childhood home. I lived here from the end of 6th grade through junior year of college. The house was white with light blue trim originally but my parents decided on a chocolate brown upgrade.

I recently learned that my mother sold our house to move into an older adult apartment community, aka retirement place where people go to die community. I know this is strong language, but I am speaking my truth. She has wanted to sell even before my dad died, over 10 years ago. I do not know if I will get the chance to see it in-person one last time before she vacates.

Here’s the thing: I spent most of my childhood in various apartments in four states from birth to age 11. I had 4 homes from 2nd through 6th grade, including going to two different schools in separate states for both 5th and 6th grades. We finally “settled down ” when I was 11 as my parents purchased this modest home in a predominantly affluent housing development. It is the only house I ever lived in, with a yard and separation from neighbors. This meant privacy and less noise ( outside of my family dramas). Why my parents could not wait for the summer to move says way more about how I was parented then anything else. My moon in Gemini in the fourth house would speak to the frequent disruptions, but damn, my dad was not in the military!

This ordinary suburban split level structure was filled with drama, kind of like Game of Thrones, but without the dragons or intriguing character arcs. It contained plenty of power plays, betrayals, and arguments. I would not call it a happy home. But a house is not a home.

I have not as of yet lived in a house as an adult. My homes have all been apartments. While my current home is fine, it is small and a bit crowded with stuff because of insufficient storage space. Maybe this is partly why I am having some difficulty letting my old house go. This is a place, mind you, that I rarely visited once I moved away. I could not wait to get out of there and told myself I would not return. My sister did live there a few years after college, but I did not.

The therapist part of me knows that I still want to ” reclaim my childhood” before letting go of the house. I have done as much inner work as I can on this. When I consider the fond memories, they are overshadowed by darkness, with one exception.

That would be the music.

My mom plays piano well and this gift was passed down from her father who learned by ear. I don’t know how he was exposed to the piano, but he did play in the silent movie theaters, so I am told. The house was warm with emotion when my mom sang and played on many an evening. She lit up completely while playing. I believe she was born to play. She says the piano is going with her to the new place.

Google maps has made it possible for me to move on even if I cannot find time for a visit before the place is packed up or occupied by the new residents. I hope they make it a house filled with love. When or if they have children ( it is a young couple), I pray they figure out how to parent them well, or well enough. Maybe then they won’t all grow up to be therapists and heal others as a way to address their unhealed parts.

I am afraid this post is coming off rather bitter, but this is not my intention. I am still figuring out why I am bothered so much by this event. I can understand why my mother wants to live among people her age and have activities and transportation at her disposal. All I know is that I feel sad and a bit confused.

I am well aware that home is inside me, at the seat of my soul. A house is a structure made up of matter, which is not solid. I don’t remember my family being that messed up until we moved in. Perhaps it had to do with my parents’ entrance into middle age and the state of the marriage. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I will continue living life the best I know how, with faith that I can find joy and peace within. And some sweet music wouldn’t hurt either.

Catching Up

Greetings litebeings! It has been a good stretch since I posted anything, especially anything new. I have been working on balancing my life, and practicing self-care to increase my inner resilience. I am also working on  a guest post that is rather intense. I hope everyone out there is enjoying the change of season. It is an exceptionally rainy May in my neck of the woods.

Speaking of woods, here are a few photos from my latest trip to Longwood Gardens:


I have been re-vitalizing my meditation practice with a different type of breathing and adding chanting back to the mix. I recently learned that an extended exhale and the act of chanting help relax the vagus nerve, which plays a role in heart rate and digestion. I am also enjoying select lectures from the Hay House Summit, which is happening right now. I enjoyed an interview with Esther Hicks and a video featuring Caroline Myss. Check it out and discover an array of material on all things metaphysical.

Finally, I want to extend a Happy Mother’s Day to all who love and nurture others. Ceres the grain goddess is also a very maternal figure and while I do not have children, my prominent Ceres makes me an Earth Mother of sorts, particularly to those of the feline persuasion. Let’s honor those who extend affection, protection, and care to those in need to foster their development and well -being.

Even when I am away, my thoughts and energy are always with my readers, followers, fellow writers and all that connect with me at litebeing chronicles.

Namaste, litebeing

 

Make Earth Great Again ~ Earth Day 2019

Here is the version I meant to publish, but you can never have enough tributes to Gaia!

I adore Bill Maher and borrowed his tagline from last night’s New Rules segment as the title for this post. I do not think that Earth is not already great, but I do think it urgently needs extreme nurturing and collective respect. Sometimes a catchy slogan makes a difference. It did in the US presidential campaign.

While Bill’s rant is a bit satirical, he is a passionate environmentalist who often features activist scientists on his show. Check out this video and leave me your comments below:

Happy Earth Day!

image credits ~ litebeing chronicles © 2019

Alleluia, and Good Morning

This blog says so eloquently what I have felt for many years. Blessings on this weekend that celebrates the portal to rebirth and re-newal.

innerwoven

Resurrection.jpgToday is, for many, a day without irony. It is a day one can see not just daylight through cracks in tomb doors, but can look back into what was their tomb from the satisfying light of a new dawn.

These patterns of light and dark, day and night, life and death happen so regularly that they’re almost not worth mentioning. Except, they are.

The ancients call it Paschal Mystery. A repeating pattern of living and dying and renewing that, through the eternal Christ, is everywhere present, everywhere accessible.

Faith is merely the God-given sight necessary to awaken to it. And Easter is the primal, archetypal key that opens that door.

Today is Easter. Resurrection. All that was dark, dead, hopeless, and not, is brought back into glorious harmony with God and the cosmos. Through Christ, today, we feel its warmth. Today, we know its hope.

Today is for all…

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Finally!

Finally

Spring has come to my corner of Gaia,

After such a looooong sabbatical,

Blessing me with the manifestation of nature’s promise,

Glorious rapture of energy birthed into form

The wait was excruciating since last Spring,

When my cellphone photos were frozen in time,

Unwilling to allow me to share the blooms with you,

Until now a year later courtesy of Samsung and ATT

Just like magic, my health is re-bounding well,

After 2 months of physical hell

Rashes, viruses, and colon woes no more,

Freedom from bondage in this moment is pure

Do you see Beauty wherever you move?

Are your eyes opened or stuck in a sad groove?

Breathe gently with me and hear your heartbeat

Accept the sour and savor the sweet

My words don’t always rhyme

And life happens in its own time

Regardless of ego’s plans

Or outbursts and rants

You do what you can

And accept what you can’t

( until perhaps at some future timeline, you CAN)

I did not label this post as poetry, but I eked out some phrases in semi-rhythmic beats to convey my pleasure with seemingly forward movement. Winter 2019 was a spell of  “eternal stagnation, endless lifelessness and boundless misery “.

I spent just a few minutes outside today walking around my ‘hood snapping everything Springy in the midst of ferocious traffic and frenetic activity that seems odd for a Sunday afternoon. The weather was phenomenal and it felt great to bask in the beauty of this ephemeral season.

Grace is in the house!

Two Cool announcements:

 1 Please consider guest blogging for the Seeker’s Dungeon site headed by Sreejit. The topic is From Darkness to Light, one of my fav themes, and the vibe is wonderful over at Sreejit’s place. Check out the link https://theseekersdungeon.com/2019/04/05/spread-the-word-guest-bloggers-wanted/ and join the party for some deep soul-stirring stories and inspirational bonding with like-minded creative spirits.

2 While you are grooving to this Aries energy and planning your guest post, why not hop over tomorrow to the free Ancestral Healing summit over at The Shift Network? There are many great healers and teachers involved in this online event , such as Heather Dane , Sandra Ingerman and Gregg Braden. I am certainly intrigued about this topic and look forward to some awesome programming. Visit https://ancestralhealingsummit.com/ for the details.