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Spin the wheel of time – Update

1-10-21:

Until I create a new artistic ( writing, visual arts, etc) piece on my vision for a more loving planet, please enjoy this post from 2014. Seems like just yesterday in some ways!  Keeping my heart open to a brighter tomorrow for the collective.

 

I have added an update at the end of this post. Scroll down to the end or re-read my tale and you will find where the wheel of time landed:

WordPress really motivated me this week,  first with this weekly challenge and then a few days later with the daily prompt. Well I guess it is about time! Now how do you like that for irony? Anyone who knows my writing is aware that like most astrologers , I am obsessed with time and cycles.  So it has been a real treat to focus on one of my favorite obsessions.

With this challenge we are invited to enter a time machine and go wherever we like. Now we are talking ! So this is what I am going to do. I will let you eavesdrop on a conversation and show you some pictures of my destination and time period. Then you can guess where my time machine landed. Use your imagination and watch it soar as I give you a glimpse into my soul’s desire……

 

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 please listen while you read

I am ready to meet with Elder Astria now. I know we will speak of my mate. I saw him in my dream, my partner for this cycle. He is strong and kind and perfect to complement my soul’s journey. Tall and dark and wise as he rides with Tiger.

But I wonder about my role in the collective. How will I add to my community? What role has Spirit chosen for me? I am so excited to discover my path. Astria has just summoned me telepathically. I will join her by the creek.

“Divine one, I am ready to meet the man who Tiger chose for me. I found him in last night’s dream.”

” Yes my dear litebeing, you are correct. Tiger chose well and you will be reunited in tonight’s ceremony. So now let us talk about your passion for service. What will you be bringing to our community?”

 

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 ” Dear Astria, I have been blessed with many gifts. I sing, I draw, I laugh, I see light everywhere…  and I am happy to grow and learn how to best help our people.”

” Yes litebeing, there is much work to be done here. You will use your gifts in many ways. Your apprenticeship will begin after the next New Moon. You will learn how to draw and paint with light. You will also join the laughter choir where music is made with glee.”

” Oh Astria, I am so pleased to begin my work for this cycle and enter into the apprenticeship. How do I prepare for this new passage?”

 

by Dirk van der Made http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GNU_Free_Documentation_License

 by Kirk Van der Made

 

” Well litebeing, there are many paths that lead to the same road, you know this already. The dream circle will assist you well here and  consultations with Joseph the herbalist is another route. Pray on it and then let tonight’s ceremony reveal some of the answers you seek.”

” And do not forget about guidance from Tiger and the deux White Horses!”

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The ceremony is about to begin. I can sense my partner before he makes his way towards the fire.His light is brilliant and I see it dance in my mind’s eye  The drumming begins lightly and picks up momentum as the full moon makes its ascent. The air is crackling with electricity as the dancing begins. All of my kin band together and hold  hands as we make our way into the circle. I take a strong inhalation as the drum beats align with my heart. I am on my way , leaving youth behind to help pave the way for my generation to lead my tribe. Joy is upon me.

 

By Alex from Ithaca, NY (Flickr Uploaded by Ekabhishek) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

 by Alex from Ithaca, NY (Flickr Uploaded by Ekabhishek)

 

all images courtesy of wikimedia.org

 

UPDATE: This place and time cannot be located on a map or a calendar. It cannot be googled or documented online. It does exist outside of time and space. I went within and held my vision of Utopia. The images I selected here were a representation of artists, writers, and visionaries over time. You could say it is a return to The Garden before the fall, before the separation, before the negation of the Divine Feminine. It is a probability and it exists in my heart.

The Problem is the Solution: Honoring the Journey of the New Year

Another insightful reflection on 2020 and beyond from Dana. Working with what is and using it as a foundation is practical and wise medicine.

The Druid's Garden

Sunrise through the mist…the way may be uncertain but the sun will rise again

In Permaculture Design, one of the most challenging principles to enact is “The problem is the solution.” It seems simple on paper: you have a serious problem before you, perhaps seemingly insurmountable or overwhelming.  Instead of reacting negatively to the problem, you look for how the problem presents unique opportunities.  You resee your practices, hone them, make changes, and adapt to the problem so that that adaptation becomes a strength. In other words, you make lemonade from lemons–but more than that, you may actually improve your approach by having to consider new options to overcome obstacles.  A simple example: I have a wet, muddy spot in my yard due to the downspout on my house.  Rather than see this as a problem, I turn it into a lush rain garden, which is not only beautiful but…

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Returning Home – Part VIIII – Deeper Embodiment and Grounding

pexels, public domain

 

Where we come from is who we are but we choose every day who we  become. . My family’s not  perfect but they made me  who I am and gave me chances they never had. My future, whatever it is, is their shared legacy.

 

From the film Hillbilly Elegy

 

This entry is part of the Returning Home series, which explores the various ways one can return to God or Source. This blog will be different in that I am not exploring a place or method outside of myself, but rather a dialogue with myself for the purpose of grounding, deeper embodiment, and increased inner peace. This more urgent pursuit has been triggered by the recent Lunar Eclipse on November 30th at 8°37 ′ Gemini conjunct my IC point at 5 Gemini and squaring my natal Pluto placement at  7 °50 ′ Virgo. This lunation dovetailed with my immersion in an Animist Psychology Course which addresses Gaia, Ancestors and Mental Health.

Over the past week or two, a steady stream of synchronicities have been appearing, all communicating the power of one’s lineage. One example is a recent online astrological lecture I attended by Helen Cierzo featuring Family Patterns in Astrology. I learned about how my family of origin has a Neptune pattern signaling enmeshment. I have known since forever about the enmeshment, but now astrology confirms it! Long time readers know that synchronicities are not new to me, but the veracity of synchs around ancestry and family dynamics has been fast and quite relentless. We do see what we believe and what I believe is my history is complicated.

Another important synch was deciding to view Hillbilly Elegy after initially discounting it. I was so involved in the storyline and felt very aware of the different characters. Part of it is understanding of the addictive process from my role as an addictions therapist, while most of it links to my own childhood memories. It was  less about the details and more about the thoughts and emotions that came up, such as fear, being parentified, anger, over responsibility, abuse, and desire to rise above and transform.

While there is nothing in my lifetime that is similar to Appalachia, I have long held a profound curiosity about the people and the land. It is also ironic that I could see my maternal grandmother’s persona in that of Glenn Close’s character.  Not the “crazed ” parts, but the bluntness and simplicity of being.  While observing  Close’s portrayal of Mamaw, I can access my own grandma playing cards like a master with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth! She was nothing like my prim and proper mother who stays in her lane. My grandma was an outlier, much like me, a wild card, who blended traditional roles of wife and mother with that of a rebel who did not care about people pleasing or “branding ” of an image. I wish I knew her better and what forces shaped her into being.

wikipedia, public domain

 

I struggle with so many questions while taking this Animist course. Such as why am I more in tune with cultures and imagery outside of my verified DNA? I know I am not adopted, but fantasized as an adolescent about finding my true family. Most of this can be attributed to my lightworker mission, but some of it is about being called to people’s outside my white middle class confines. Bluegrass music and Scots Irish folksongs gets me every time. When I visit the mountains ( The Catskills in New York, The Poconos in Pennsylvania, and or the beloved Blue Ridge Mountains of Shenandoah Valley Virginia mostly) or watch media about Appalachia, the music grabs me and does not let go. The vibrations tug gently at first at my heartstrings but quickly escalate to a firm clutch on my soul, that words fail to convey.  I have no clue why it has such a grip on me, similar to reggae rhythms and drum circle rituals. I have no historical frame of reference. Both my parents were very musical ( prominent Taurus and other Venusian placements) but their musical taste reflected the times they were born into, nothing more.

wikipedia, public domain

I have included several videos of both contemporary and classical Appalachian music from artists and movies that tear at my heart. I recommend you watch Cold Mountain and Songcatcher to bask in the glorious music and learn more about a people who have been underestimated or harshly judged. Also, here’s a shout out to Leigh who turned me on to ancestral trauma and healing and Jen, my first friend from Kentucky who is one of the most creative, strongest and wisest people I have some to know.

 

Please tell me in the comments about your heritage, or love of music, or affinity for a certain place or people.

Birthday – Interrupted

Happy Birthday to Me, lol!  It has been one week and honestly I don’t appear any different. While I can feel into the familiar Scorpio energy, most days are not very different from one another from where I sit. Not what I expected for such a milestone, 60 years of the sun returning to its exact zodiac placement at birth. My mom called and left a voicemail telling me my horoscope is great for this year. She reads the daily scopes in the paper. I think she forgets I am an astrologer, but I did go check it out online to see what it said ( above). It does look good and my Capricorn niece gave me the best gift, a phone call from college. To have this connection with her and to know she truly loves me, moved me to tears. My nieces are my heart and I work hard to keep the bond intact.

Here is the horoscope for Scorpios for 11/6/20, even more promising!

Is this for me or the presumed President Elect or all Pluto babies? I know I could use a boost in a new direction. I asked myself how could I enjoy the day, given the limitations? I settled on taking a leisurely ride down a favorite route and enjoying a nice takeout meal, complete with a decadent cake. My first choice would have been a group dinner at Zahav, a fabulous spot. My second choice was a pizza and champagne, but my tummy cannot handle either right now. So since I often lean towards Asian cuisine for takeout celebrations, I chose dim sum and salmon pictured below.

Crab and shrimp shumai dumplings
Brandy hoisin glazed scottish salmon
Chocolate chip cheesecake

The day contained some synchs, including songs and memories from the 1980s. I thought about my college years, triggered in part by my niece’s phone call but also by the songs that played on the radio.  A previous Pluto Saturn transit was on my mind. Michael Lutin talks about planetary stations like Mercury going direct, as portals to other timelines when a similar astro event occurred.  Mercury at 27 Libra aligns with the Pluto Saturn conjunction that occurred on November 7 1982 at 27 degrees Libra, right after my birthday! Of course the connect also aligns with the current Jupiter Saturn Pluto conjunction, squaring the 27 Libra degree. When I realized now that I lived that then, I was amazed. I did not own an ephemeris yet and this was pre-internet. The activity took place in my 8th house and while the break up with my boyfriend was crushing, my senior year in college rocked! The economy sucked, but I was only focused on finding a job, which I did with ease. It was nothing like 2020, but what is like 2020? I was worried back in January when I saw that my niece’s birthday was the day after the conjunction, and the action was conjunct her sun, unlike my 1982 experience, where my sun was shielded from the major players. It looks like she has handled it well, maybe due in part to her natal Pluto Saturn opposition. She is such a strong mature young woman, shaped in part by such powerful planetary placements.

So I took an aimless drive on a reliably lovely path, something I have not done in months. It took some adjustment to get into the groove and enjoy the ride! Two construction detours tested my reserve, but I found my way back safely, taking in the farmland and riveting fall colors.

I focused on what I enjoy, beauty, connection, nature, good food, and music, along with guidance from the Divine. Yet, it really was not much different from the day before. The day after was different because the Presidential election was called. But I am not going there today. The point is that I thought 60 would be a big deal and it wasn’t. The 1982 birthday was different because it was the first time I did not celebrate with my family. My boyfriend took me to his childhood home up in Rosetto PA, to meet his family and to also celebrate his grandmother’s birthday. It was so cool to be up in the mountains and I felt embraced by his people. You never know what any moment brings. Last year’s birthday I was ill and vomited because I took too much of a medication by mistake and spent the day I took off from work at home. But I made up for it when I was ready. Life for me now is mostly about letting more situations go and finding a decent plan B, with plenty of gratitude. Here are some recent additions that bring me joy; a book all about the Barnes, containing photos of the entire collection and my new foliage plant :

foliage plant

Today is another day, freshly enveloped in Jupiter Pluto conjunction at 22 degrees Capricorn, on the precipice of the Mars station at 15 degrees Aries. Perhaps this Mars station will provide a portal for you. I expect much drama around the world, so let’s see what develops. What I am noticing personally is conflict arising from unlikely sources, so I am laying low and minding my Ps and Qs. It is funny how these ancient sayings enter into my consciousness, but that is how writing works for me.

The unrainy days have been gorgeous and I am upping my photo game, acutely aware that the recent rain has emptied many of the trees of their autumn hued leaves. I relish the warm clouds, gentle winds, vibrant skies and sumptuous visual delights of November. I was incarnated once in 1960, right after a very intense presidential election, on a warm Sunday afternoon. So here I am and here we are, breathing on the same planet, but maybe living in different dimensions. Let’s enjoy our perspective and make the most of our time here.

Digging Deep

This world keeps turning and I keep changing from the inside out. With plenty of time for soul searching, it occurred to me that I learned about disruption and reset very early and could be an expert in instability and impermanence. I would not recommend early childhood and adolescent trauma but I am grateful it did not morph into PTSD.   But it might account for this why I tire so quickly of tasks and routines and yet sometimes crave tasks and routines? Ambivalence I have learned to befriend and it is a worthwhile alliance.

After much delay and indecision I finally exchanged my company laptop and keys for my personal belongings from work. At some point I realized that I did not want to return to my old office. I rather just get my stuff and be done with it. So I asked my manager if he would be willing to pick up 3 items for me and make the exchange in our neighborhood. He surprisingly agreed without hesitation. I had already written him an unsent letter, clearing out any crap between us. This is known in ascension speak as alchemizing the density into light. I would be lying if I said this was easy, but I am a therapist and I know how to do this. The art I chose to accompany this post is created by indigenous people, some of it rather old. It symbolizes wisdom, heritage, truth, and tradition, often borne out of difficult times. Digging deeply can trigger boundless treasures.

Here was our conversation :

Me: Hi

Him : Hi, put this down here  pointing to the bench

Me : The keys are in the bag with the laptop

Him: I found something in the desk that might be yours so I brought it.

Me : What?

Him: Lotion

Me:  I looked in the bag and all 3 items were there plus lavender vanilla cream, which was mine but I had deemed non-essential.         Yes this is mine.  D0 you have the gift card?

Him: Oh, I forgot. It is in my work bag.

Me : I just silently stared at his masked face with my own masked face.

Him: We could meet again?

Me : Thinking to myself ” Fuck no. ” Silence

Him: I could give you cash?

Me: Okay

Him:  He hands me a 10 dollar bill.  It was a starbucks gift card.

Me: So now you can keep it for yourself. It isn’t about the money. It is about the principle.

Him : Take care

Me:  I walk away.

 

It was all very civilized. He had awarded me a gift card at a staff meeting and never gave it to me. It was for five dollars so I made a profit, lol! Yes I took his money without any thought. He took my job away , laying me off because he could. It was like an awkward breakup when people come back to retrieve stuff left behind. I have been through this a time or two.

Just a few days later I saw that my former employer was advertising for my old job. This stung but I got over it rather quickly. I would never work for this company again with these current people at the helm. Another day or so later I “inadvertently” came upon an ad for an incredible job opportunity at an Ivy League University doing clinical work for a research project. This ” happy accident” occurred because I saw a job website email and wondered if my old job was listed. It wasn’t, but this very rare opportunity was listed. I felt inspired. I went outside and I saw a fat gold and white cat approach me, followed by a monarch butterfly and then a small cabbage white butterfly. The energy was shifting…..

The dance with darkness in most sectors of my life is determined by my natal chart. Pluto in the 7th  is an aspect that I have become adept at navigating ( it is not near the Asc/Desc axis fortunately but it is conjunct my north node, summoning me to grow through major  interpersonal excavations). What is much more treacherous for me is Pluto making a rather close square to my MC/IC axis, meaning my inner world, family, home, grounding and my vocation, professional life, reputation, work family ( not to mention both parental figures) are besieged by challenges of power struggles, manipulation, destruction, and reinvention. Good times? no! Clearly I ordered a complex life path from the All You Can Eat Cosmic buffet menu for this lifetime.

So when motivated , I dig deep and work on being my better self, remembering I am not here to hold onto blame, regrets, and old grievances. I know that to attract and acquire a safe healthy workplace with generally decent people I must embody all those qualities in myself and let go of all that does not match that vibration. We are all so much more than we “think” we are and even when we are not living small, there is still larger ways of being. I am not aiming for perfection as that is a trap. I am seeking balance, grace, and humility. And also a butterfly, a fat cat and miracles wherever they pop up.

all indigenous images courtesy of wikipedia.org
wikipedia.org public domain

The Golden Road to Transformation

Where were you 25 years ago today? RIP Jerry ❤

 

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What a long strange trip it’s been, indeed.

My inspiration for the Time Machine Challenge started on a crisp and brilliant afternoon in September. If you are new to my blog or would like to catch up on your reading, please visit here to find the entire roster of spectacular challenge blogs. Reminiscing about my first September in Philly and the man who represented that era took me back to a state of excitement and joy.  I was amazed how my instantaneous flash of insight was later validated when I visited a website where that former boyfriend currently works. According to Michael Lutin, this time period before the New Scorpio Moon accentuates preoccupation and/or random encounters with past lovers or folks who trigger memories of former flames.

A few connections from Leigh and Laura gently guided me on a path of forgiveness and acceptance of the past. Leigh’s post on the  ho’oponopono prayer got me thinking of all the guilt and regret that still remains within me. An unexpected email from a stranger set in motion a fresh attempt to reframe any past relationships. I am speaking of the ones that seemed to stick with me, defying all my efforts to sever lingering cords. That stranger who contacted me is now a friend who readers know as Laura.

So I set out on an adventure to forgive all my past romantic entanglements, beginning with the first and moving towards present time. I would recite ho’oponono before falling asleep and visualize myself back in time with these former flames. It was often unpleasant as long forgotten details resurfaced. I was also looking to explore with fresh eyes the circumstances in which my ex from college would re-enter my life. I am seeking clues as to what his presence symbolizes for me now. I expected this process would eventually lead to healing. Truth be told, this exercise has been met with much resistance. However, I still am pursuing this path, hoping it is a “path with heart.”

But it is a path unfinished and did not reveal a story for the challenge. Around the same time ( late September) I followed up by contacting the director of the group practice where my ex works to inquire about employment. I did so because my ex works at their other location and my friend spoke so highly of the director. This contact led me to the discovery that I cannot get re-credentialed at my level of licensure. Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise because if I was hired and unable to work, the fallout would have been more upsetting and more time would have been wasted.

So I put off writing a post and hoped for the best. After reading Fiona’s challenge offering, I remembered an unfinished draft from July. Oddly enough, it addresses the challenge beautifully. Why am I surprised to discover that yet again Spirit has other plans?

So without further adieu I bring you my nonlinear, unplanned, but totally cool trip back in time:

See that girl, barefootin’ along,
Whistlin’ and singin’, she’s a carryin’ on.
There’s laughing in her eyes, dancing in her feet,
She’s a neon-light diamond and she can live on the street.

Hey hey, hey, come right away
Come and join the party every day.

Well everybody’s dancin’ in a ring around the sun
Nobody’s finished, we ain’t even begun.
So take off your shoes, child, and take off your hat.
Try on your wings and find our where it’s at. *

Was it 2015 or 1978 or perhaps 1967 ?  You decide:

July 4, 2015:

I had just received some long over -due money. I noticed that the Grateful Dead were live streaming their Chicago Fare Thee Well  50 year anniversary reunion concerts on On Demand. The fees were pricey but I had extra money. I deserved to splurge on something fun and purely entertaining. I had not seen any assembly of the Dead in decades and I was not going to be teleported to Chicago, sans an airplane ticket and place to stay. The concerts were to be held over 3 nights. This could be my last chance to see them perform, ever. Which night do I choose?

I could not justify viewing all 3 shows. I finally decided that July 4th would be the one. My reasoning was they would be settled in after the 1st show and since I associate the Dead with parties, why not celebrate America’s birthday in style? This decision was an arduous process. As an INFJ, I like to ponder and deliberate, often to a fault. In this case, I am glad I took my time.

Earlier that day I spotted a HUGE beetle like creature on my bedroom door. It seemed almost alien-like. I was terrified but managed to flush it down the toilet. Dexter was oblivious to this terrifying menace, but it certainly got a reaction out of me. I looked up beetle online to see what I could find here.

By J. Coelho [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

This image is a rather close approximation. While I found the various interpretations fascinating, the following paragraph holds true till the present:

Perhaps the most profound lesson the beetle shares with us is the lesson of transformation and adaptation. Beetles engage in metamorphosis for development and growth. From egg to adult, they are a marvel of transformation illustrated in a short lifetime. They go through these revolutionary transformations with aplomb, very nonchalantly and matter-of-factly. Beetles embrace the flow of life and all its transitions without question. They surrender to change.

Looking back, I realize that this was my final complete weekend with Dexter. I was blissfully unaware that he would be leaving me so soon. Yet I did surrender to change and enter into a phase of transformation. The beetle sighting was fortuitous as it signals a new way of being on the planet. I would venture a guess that Dexter is more adaptive than I have been, given his loving demeanor in spite of multiple placements and tricky health issues.  We have so much to gain from the natural world.

Post beetle episode, I am ready for the concert. There was so much to take in and integrate.  Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined watching a live concert on TV in this fashion. The word surreal is not superfluous in this instance. The telecast was filmed so you were truly in the moment, without commercials and artificial editing. I cannot exactly describe it, but it was quite close to being there in Chicago.

It turns out I almost lived in Chicago. My parents traveled their often as it was where my dad’s company’s main headquarters were located. It is also where they purchased my very first astrology book. I still have it and it was published in the 1960s. I also made a wonderful friend from Chicago who I met in Miami. We both stayed at the same hotel for 2 years over Xmas holidays. We became pen pals and I never forgotten her. Plus I have some online blogger buddies from Chicago so the city keeps appearing in my life.  I recently found out that we almost moved there when I was young. My mother revealed that my dad was offered a big promotion at the main headquarters. I was shocked to hear that he turned it down, given we moved around so often.  So here I am focusing in on elusive and mysterious Chicago. Here’s yet another example of the road not traveled.

wikipedia.org public domain

The music itself was very moving. The pace was slow and many of the songs were folksy and bluegrass style. The evening progressed like a heartfelt lullaby. Yet at certain points the mood shifted and the pace quickened. I had not been feeling well and was functioning on little energy. But I was propelled to get off my couch and dance. One song in particular set me in motion like a dervish. The Golden Road to Unlimited Devotion was playing. I could have been hallucinating , but I was lucid and sober. As Dexter watched, I began to swirl. This is MY song and I have never heard it performed live. I felt as if another force was propelling me into seamless, graceful, dizzying, flight. How did I get so energized? What was the source of all this power inside of me? I was floating on air, whizzing in circles, free of obstructions or constraints. I was on fire!

Later I researched the show online to read about the setlist. I came upon this article that blew my mind wide open. Here is what was written about the Golden Road performance:

Next up was “The Golden Road (To Unlimited Devotion),” a song Jerry Garcia wrote about the Haight hippie scene that The Grateful Dead only played a handful of times in 1967. Bruce Hornsby and Trey Anastasio fronted the group on the obscurity.

My favorite ( among favorites such as Eyes of the World, Sugar Magnolia, Truckin’, Scarlet Begonias, US Blues, and Box of Rain, to name a few) is basically a favorite of the few. It was last performed in 1967. I had not even heard of the band until 1977 and had not attended my first show until 1978.  It is probably a statistical anomaly that this song was performed on the exact night I decided to watch the show. This is not just a song to me. It is an anthem. I was this chick in the song in high school and college. Or at least I imagined myself to be like her. She was free and blissful and at peace. Perhaps I longed to get out of my own way so I could be her.

I actually transformed into her a few months earlier. Here is an excerpt of my May 26th post on dream number 3 of an incredibly active sojourn of slumber.

May 26, 2015 ( circa 1978?)

And now for something completely different:

3 – Went back in time to the 1970s. Lots of teens around, big crowd. I run into a friend.We will call him “Sam.” He used to be my dream prompt. Seeing him meant I was dreaming. He has not appeared in years though. There was to be a 1970s party. I was excited about this. My friend “Sam” said I would like to dance with you , big smile. I was so excited and I typically don’t like to dance. Lots of love between me and Sam, unlike real life where we were longtime yet intermittent, platonic friends. I knew him from when I first moved to NJ in the middle of 6th grade through the summer after HS grad when our families vacationed at the same hotel down the shore. At the party, there was such a joyous atmosphere. The room was dark and the music was psychedelic. Sam and I hit the dance floor and did our thing. We were both young but I danced with the confidence of a more mature person. In high school I would have not felt as eager to express myself this freely.

When I turned around I saw a young Bob Weir singing Grateful Dead music. It was a big surprise. I have dreamed of Bob and Jerry( Garcia) many times before over the years. Sometimes while dreaming I talk with them. In this dream I did not know Bob, nor did I interact with him. I was so excited and remembered Sam was there at my first Grateful Dead concert in 1978. The same day he and his band performed a concert at the high school. A group of us began to chant the date of that concert 5-13-78. ( later I checked and that was the actual date of the concert. How did I remember that?) It was wild. I said to him “You were in a band!” I think he was the lead singer. My friends who attended the concert with me were at this party or at the very least I mentioned them to Sam. Some of Sam’s friends were also there. Sam and I were becoming a couple and were very happy. I felt loved and adored.

What was so interesting was the Bob Weir became the face of the Dead once Jerry Garcia passed away. He was my favorite anyway so I would always focus on Bobby. I was also stunned to realize the prophetic nature of this dream. I was seeing Bob Weir perform and dancing as if no one was watching. I was imbuing my current knowingness into the past.  What a wild ride of past and future morphing together in Dreamtime. You could say that for a few short minutes I was livin’ the dream.

I said Fare Thee Well to Dexter one week later. I also learned that the farewell concerts were not the last. A newly formed group called Dead and Company featuring Bob Weir, John Mayer ( another Libra with loads of Scorpio) , Mickey Hart, and others have begun touring recently so the music apparently never stops in some form.

Update: Apparently Dead and Company were performing in Philadelphia last night ( 11-5-15) while I was completing this post. The synchronicity continues…

We never know how much or how little is happening at any given time. I did not know that my current physical body possessed that much energy. I certainly never expected to hear the Golden Road performed live and in real-time in my living room. Life is a mystery that keeps surprising me, just when I think I’ve got it all figured out.

But I have figured out one important lesson. I want to play! Perhaps having the experience of both spontaneity, exuberance, and confidence will assist me in replicating this behavior going forward. My birthday is approaching as I type and I have set my intention to be that girl from the Golden Road. Being free and playful and in motion is the way. 

The time machine kept me quite busy, transporting me to and from Philly to Chicago and to 1967 ( around the year I began studying astrology), 1978,  2015 and beyond. My consciousness flowed from waking state to frenzied ecstasy to Dreamtime. My challenge was not what I intended upon its inception in September. Yet I took the steps necessary to get me to this point. Now I am ready to try on my wings.

*lyrics credit

Here’s a video of the original 67 performance.

Here’s what I saw on 7-4-15.

Thanks to all for another spectacular blogging challenge. They keep getting better because WE keep getting better.

image credits: beetle by J. Coelho [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons dervishes images, wikipedia.org, public domain
header image, wikipedia.org, public domain

A Whole New World?

As I ponder what to write for Barbara’s blogging challenging for a Magical New Earth, this song entered my awareness. Enjoy this post and contemplate what kind of world you want to co-create.

blessings, litebeing

litebeing chronicles

By Anne Dirkse (www.annedirkse.com) (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Many have prophesied that one-third of our planet would be aligned with fifth dimensional consciousness by September 28, 2015. This is called the 1st wave of ascension.  I do not know if I feel any different. My experience of time and space has been altered for quite some time. According to Matt Kahn and others, this is not an intellectual exercise. It is all about the heart.

One way that I perceive insights is by noticing or attracting novel tidbits from pop culture. The internet is typically the medium that transmits these nuggets towards my awareness. Music and movies are two of my go-tos and this gem via Facebook got my attention. The film Aladdin is going to be released in digital format soon. To celebrate this new edition, the original singers from the film reunited on Good Morning America to sing A Whole New World. I am including the…

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It’s for the Birds

Hello litebeings,

Just yesterday I was meeting with my spiritual director about how bored I am with my life and that I rarely can generate excitement anymore. This existential angst has been in play a few months, as transiting Saturn joins transiting Pluto in my 12th house.

After waking this morning I draw the blinds in my dining room which faces the backyard. I see something I have never seen before. Initially, I thought I spied a few sparrows getting ready to disperse. But this was a whole ‘nother event. I witnessed what looked like a few hundred blackbirds literally carpet the backyard and eventually come close to darkening the morning sky in flight. I rushed to turn on my phone to take a picture but it seemed like I was too late. But they swooped back down just a few yards from view, giving me a small window to capture their images on my phone.

I know that these shots do not really show the scope of this bird convention. The limits of the camera and my inability to go outside to get a wider shot prevented me from transferring my experience to “form” adequately. Let me tell you though: seeing these birds en masse took my breath away. I felt both awe and fear, trying to understand why they were gathering here. Was it a sign for me? Was there something going on that led them here? ( Sometimes it is not about me. )

I did a little digging and prayed they were not a ” murder of crows ” signaling death and bad luck. Honestly, I was feeling that way for weeks before the birds arrived. What I discovered is that blackbirds, among other bird species, migrate together in winter to keep them safe. I did not know any of this and it led me to wonder how many other natural encounters may not have been cosmic in origin.

And yet, why can’t it be both? Before the internet, I would have had to go to the library and research this phenomenon if I wanted some understanding. And before there were libraries, I probably would have accepted that they were coming to see me!

I have had several unusual bird encounters, especially around the early 2000s when Neptune was conjunct my Ascendant. I learned then that birds are ruled by Aquarius ( my rising sign ) and that fact was important to me then. I am actually fond of birds but was a bit frightened of the power wielded by the magnitude of their numbers. Yet, when they soared together in flight, my fear turned to delight as I witnessed such extraordinary beauty in motion.

Here is some bird interpretation courtesy of my fave symbolism site :

Birds that are black do not give up their secrets easily. They love to watch us marvel over their messages. Blackbirds demand our commitment to learning their wisdom and do not reveal their meanings unless they are convinced we’ve devoted ourselves completely to the path of understanding.

Part of this understanding comes from the clear perception of the dark and light sides of the universe.

This concept of light and dark is a fundamental concept of alchemy which is: Transition and Transformation. It deals with the ability to accept there are both black and white energies, and they most both exist in order for our world to exist.

The bird itself is symbolic of life in the heavens (higher ideals, higher path of knowing). The color black is symbolic of pure potential.

Consider: what is not exposed, is unknown. What is not known, holds infinite possibility. So, between the two, (the meaning of birds, and the meaning of the color black) there is no limit to human transformation – all we have to do is gently pull the shades down of our rational mind, and start sojourning with our darkly feathered friends.

This all comes about because birds are (metaphorically and mythologically speaking), situated in proximity to the higher energies of the Universe. This also positions them as heavenly or divine oracles and messengers in cultural myths across the globe.

Blackbirds and birds of black or dark colors are special among their airy clan as they are symbolic of:

  • Magic
  • Mystery
  • Secrets
  • The Unknown
  • Pure Potential
  • Unobvious Perception

When I consider where my thoughts and energy have been recently, this interpretation is eerily on point. I need more time to process, but I realize that the duality of dark and light is important for me to integrate, yet again. It is also interesting that a bit later today I spoke to my former supervisor on the phone and heard whistling. He told me that what I was hearing was the new parakeet he just brought home. Another bird? hmmm.

So tell me, have you had any unique bird encounters? Please describe them to us in the comments section.

update: Look what I was given later today:

more bird medicine!

Pluto station – purge, clear, forgive, release

Howdy litebeings! Pluto  in Capricorn stations direct this Sunday 9-30-18. This event occurs on the heels of Venus stationing retrograde on 10-5-18 in Pluto ruled Scorpio ( where Jupiter currently resides). The convergence of Saturnian, Jupiterian and Plutonian energies is quite palpable. Just look to the societal dramas as they escalate to a profound cathartic crescendo.

This station is a BIG deal!  Enjoy this reblog that provides some helpful tools and insights, Do the work, I promise to  continue to work alongside of you.

  Namaste, litebeing

Neptune Retrograde ~ End of the Line

This has not been an easy time, but when has it ever been easy? While  transiting Jupiter retrograded back on my natal Sun over the past few days, I spent most of the time physically ill and/or exhausted. Astrology is complicated and sometimes transits do not show up in a standard way. The late Donna Cunningham wrote about this topic and postulated that often astrological transits trigger internal events, even when it looks like they ought to be external.

I am not certain, but what I do know is how grateful I feel when the pain subsides or when I am able to just let go and be with the pain. How can we know sweet without bitter, light without dark? In the material world, duality is here to teach us the range of creation. Lately, I have noticed that more nudges have appeared, bringing into focus the complexity of emotion and the far-reaching impact of empathy.

Neptune just stationed retrograde this evening at 16 degrees Pisces and will remain retrograde until November 24th. Of course it just started raining as I type this post.  It is part of a grand water trine including Mercury and Jupiter. It also creates a grand water trine with my Mars in Cancer and Scorpio stellium. It exactly trines my Mercury and is transiting my first house. It has been there for many years and will remain there for many many more. For me, it emphasizes an internal re-calibration that is scary and exciting simultaneously. I would imagine many of my readers can relate, as so many of us are experiencing cosmic upgrades.

Neptune in Pisces has many interpretations and her impact will vary on your chart and your sensitivity to her energies. The God Neptune was male but I perceive the energies as feminine, hence the female pronouns! Some of the themes to be revisited during this cycle include: forgiveness, letting go, compassion, empathy, surrender, heart expansion, and boundless ecstasy. If you are typically Neptunian anyway, this cycle is just another day at the office! If not, you can use this time to hone your communication with your Higher Self and learn to block out the static on social media and the world at large.

It is also a great time to get into photography, so I am sharing some recent pics from Longwood Gardens. Before I go , I want to say thanks to those who have been there for me as I deal with the loss of my former patient and my hero Anthony Bourdain. My guess is these two souls had plenty in common, which makes their passing even more tragic. Thank you to Connie who has been there for me consistently over the years. She knows how to listen and hears what isn’t being said. Thank you

Many synchronicities have led me to consider that grief work may be part of my calling. I am happy to share that I have advanced in the hiring process for the position at the non-profit organization that offers grief support programming. I am hopeful that all will occur for the highest good. Thanks to all who continue to hold space for me and shine light, especially when I shut down and retreat.

Before the power goes out ( again), let me conclude with a special video. At my former job I would play videos for my guys at the beginning of Friday’s group therapy that were related to addiction or recovery. One of the first videos I played was End of the Line to celebrate Tom Petty and to illustrate letting go of judgements and expectations. This song has always been a favorite of mine and while some of the undertones are dark, the tempo is upbeat and conveys hope. Besides, there is something about me and trains that is yet to be fully explored.  I hope you enjoy it! I dedicate this post to my guys and to everyone that struggles with addiction: