Sick Day Summary

It has been so long since I have published anything original. Working 4 ten hour days a week ( including evenings) has left me tired or depleted energetically more often than not. I think about this blog and community often and I want you all to know you are with me every step of the way.

The way has been busy and productive but tinged with loneliness, anxiety, and dread. I am grateful to have a job I enjoy where I can see what I have helped create. Yet I feel very insecure, waiting for the other foot to drop. I am lucky to have people I can discuss my worries with, but it is not always enough. So many years of underemployment or unemployment have left me shaky and uneasy. With both transiting Pluto and Saturn trudging around my 12th house, I understand where some of this malaise is rooted. But still, it persists.

My relationship with my mother remains fractured and this saddens me, and yet, it seems to be more real. I try to balance my awareness of her advancing age with my need to let her know that we have mostly been strangers to one another throughout our entire relationship.  I work on remaining careful not to hurt her and still communicate as directly and plainly as I can. I want to be the bigger person but it is difficult when I am the bigger person all over my life. There are so few people who can comfort me and hear me and really accept me just as I am. So I strive to be that person for me. Learning to love yourself IS the greatest love of all.

I called out sick today and it was much needed. I am happy to report my body is on the mend, so my choice to stay home was a sound one. With Mercury retrograde, I still had to spend unwanted time contacting colleagues because of communication breakdowns.  I have been feeling so tired lately. The astro weather isn’t helping either. My uncle died and my boss quit his job within days of each other during this eclipse cycle.  Two different events; one natural, the other seemingly unexpected. I recently concluded my uncle was the last male relative of the generation before mine.  I did not know him well. We were not close, but he is a symbol of my childhood and he was a decent man. Uranus most likely messed with his Taurus sun, but he lived a long life, seemingly content.

My boss is one of the nicest supervisors I have ever worked with. Spoiler alert: when I am fortunate enough to get a great boss, they usual resign shortly after I am hired. He stayed for almost 6 months of my tenure and that is a record. He is a double Pisces, so of course, we got along. He has his faults, but he is so good with people, so kind, and so caring. A real lightworker. I did not see his resignation coming, but here it is. I have a history of scary supervisors replacing the nice ones, but I can rewrite this old narrative. In fact, I already have: ” I have learned so much about this new job setting and mastered so many new tasks while working with this person. He believes in me and is not afraid to be complimentary and recognize hard work. I saw how authority does not have to be used to gain power and control. I appreciate the time I worked with him and the impact he has made.”

I am grieving him, even while he still is working with me for a few more weeks. I assumed I would leave before he would. Oh well, I was mistaken. I do not do loss well, but over time I have been able to let go sooner and easier. This is growth. Speaking of loss, I have had a few dreams lately featuring my first cat Jasmine. I have no digital pictures of her to post, but I can describe her as a petite calico with green eyes. She was gorgeous and independent and aloof. But she was my first baby and I adopted her at about 7 weeks old. She lived with me for 16 years. Dexter was bigger than life, but Jasmine taught me about how to nurture another. It is curious why she is emerging in dreamtime, but it is cool to see her again happy and thriving.

This catchup post is a hodgepodge of topics, quickly assembled from the recesses of my mind and heart, but it feels liberating to share my ramblings with you on this cooler than usual July evening. So much remains uncertain, but one idea rings true: service with passion equals a full heart and warm soul.

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Gratitude at Solstice

Happy Solstice everyone! Good Morning Starshine! Here’s to celebrating the light within and without.

https://youtu.be/NF7dKUz-Q7M

litebeing chronicles

Happy Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere and Happy Winter Solstice in the Southern Hemisphere! I am grateful to have readers all over the globe who grace me with their presence. One of many things I am grateful for.

I plan to use today to impart a radical gratitude practice. I do this now, rather than stew in all my problems or disappointments. In his new book, Everything is Here to Help You, Matt Kahn espouses that every circumstance will help us bring about more love for ourselves and each other. I much rather conclude that Source is conspiring for me, rather than against me.

I can feel the increase of light and warmth and am drinking it in. I live in such a beautiful neighborhood and am so lucky to be surrounded by trees and creatures of all kinds. As dusk approaches, my thoughts begin to settle down…

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A House is Not a Home

Thanks to the magic of Google maps, I do not have to take a new image to show my childhood home. I lived here from the end of 6th grade through junior year of college. The house was white with light blue trim originally but my parents decided on a chocolate brown upgrade.

I recently learned that my mother sold our house to move into an older adult apartment community, aka retirement place where people go to die community. I know this is strong language, but I am speaking my truth. She has wanted to sell even before my dad died, over 10 years ago. I do not know if I will get the chance to see it in-person one last time before she vacates.

Here’s the thing: I spent most of my childhood in various apartments in four states from birth to age 11. I had 4 homes from 2nd through 6th grade, including going to two different schools in separate states for both 5th and 6th grades. We finally “settled down ” when I was 11 as my parents purchased this modest home in a predominantly affluent housing development. It is the only house I ever lived in, with a yard and separation from neighbors. This meant privacy and less noise ( outside of my family dramas). Why my parents could not wait for the summer to move says way more about how I was parented then anything else. My moon in Gemini in the fourth house would speak to the frequent disruptions, but damn, my dad was not in the military!

This ordinary suburban split level structure was filled with drama, kind of like Game of Thrones, but without the dragons or intriguing character arcs. It contained plenty of power plays, betrayals, and arguments. I would not call it a happy home. But a house is not a home.

I have not as of yet lived in a house as an adult. My homes have all been apartments. While my current home is fine, it is small and a bit crowded with stuff because of insufficient storage space. Maybe this is partly why I am having some difficulty letting my old house go. This is a place, mind you, that I rarely visited once I moved away. I could not wait to get out of there and told myself I would not return. My sister did live there a few years after college, but I did not.

The therapist part of me knows that I still want to ” reclaim my childhood” before letting go of the house. I have done as much inner work as I can on this. When I consider the fond memories, they are overshadowed by darkness, with one exception.

That would be the music.

My mom plays piano well and this gift was passed down from her father who learned by ear. I don’t know how he was exposed to the piano, but he did play in the silent movie theaters, so I am told. The house was warm with emotion when my mom sang and played on many an evening. She lit up completely while playing. I believe she was born to play. She says the piano is going with her to the new place.

Google maps has made it possible for me to move on even if I cannot find time for a visit before the place is packed up or occupied by the new residents. I hope they make it a house filled with love. When or if they have children ( it is a young couple), I pray they figure out how to parent them well, or well enough. Maybe then they won’t all grow up to be therapists and heal others as a way to address their unhealed parts.

I am afraid this post is coming off rather bitter, but this is not my intention. I am still figuring out why I am bothered so much by this event. I can understand why my mother wants to live among people her age and have activities and transportation at her disposal. All I know is that I feel sad and a bit confused.

I am well aware that home is inside me, at the seat of my soul. A house is a structure made up of matter, which is not solid. I don’t remember my family being that messed up until we moved in. Perhaps it had to do with my parents’ entrance into middle age and the state of the marriage. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I will continue living life the best I know how, with faith that I can find joy and peace within. And some sweet music wouldn’t hurt either.

Special Sale and Giveaway: Everything 50 % Off!

wikiart public domain

New year, new moon, solar eclipse, new sign placements for Mercury, Venus, and Mars, all planets direct, blogiversary coming on 1-11, WOW!

Many have been asking for this and NOW the time is right….

VOILA, All my services are 50% off! Yes! it is happening right now! What a great time to see what 2019 has in store for you!

The details are simple – for a limited time only all my readings are half off. Check out my services here. All my services are listed along with instructions on how to contact me.

I have not marketed my astrology or dreamwork much lately, but let me tell you what I  think sets me apart me from the others ~ I bring decades of counseling experience to my readings, along with empathic and highly intuitive abilities that come online during my preparation and during the interactive process. This makes a huge difference and I would encourage anyone who is considering a reading to check out the testimonials to see what clients have said about their experiences.

By Tanemori (HatenaFotolife) [CC-BY-2.1-jp (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.1/jp/deed.en)], via Wikimedia Commons

Yes, one more thing: I will be offering a free reading to one lucky reader. I have not decided how this will play out, but it is so much fun to gift my service to someone! I am so fortunate to have been blessed with the skills and abilities to live and breathe astrology and be a life long active dreamer. It is an honor to be able to share these blessings with others. By the way, I may even give a free reading to someone who signs up to pay for a service. Or I may just contact someone who comments on this post. Please share this post with on social media. Spread the love!  I have no idea what will happen so please come along for the ride! Please email me with any questions you have on my contact page. 

Book now to take advantage of this awesome sale!

Thanks for supporting this blog for close to 6 years!

 

Ride the Surprise Highway!

wikiart public domain

New year, new moon, solar eclipse, new sign placements for Mercury, Venus, and Mars, all planets direct, blogiversary coming on 1-11, WOW!

Many have been asking for this and NOW the time is right….

VOILA, All my services are 50% off! Yes! it is happening right now! What a great time to see what 2019 has in store for you!

The details are simple – for a limited time only all my readings are half off. Check out my services here. All my services are listed along with instructions on how to contact me.

I have not marketed my astrology or dreamwork much lately, but let me tell you what I  think sets me apart me from the others ~ I bring decades of counseling experience to my readings, along with empathic and highly intuitive abilities that come online during my preparation and during the interactive process. This makes a huge difference and I would encourage anyone who is considering a reading to check out the testimonials to see what clients have said about their experiences.

By Tanemori (HatenaFotolife) [CC-BY-2.1-jp (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.1/jp/deed.en)], via Wikimedia Commons

Yes, one more thing: I will be offering a free reading to one lucky reader. I have not decided how this will play out, but it is so much fun to gift my service to someone! I am so fortunate to have been blessed with the skills and abilities to live and breathe astrology and be a life long active dreamer. It is an honor to be able to share these blessings with others. By the way, I may even give a free reading to someone who signs up to pay for a service. Or I may just contact someone who comments on this post. Please share this post with on social media. Spread the love!  I have no idea what will happen so please come along for the ride! Please email me with any questions you have on my contact page. 

Book now to take advantage of this awesome sale!

Thanks for supporting this blog for close to 6 years!

 

Poetry ~ Gratitude

I am reblogging the 2017 version of my 2013 Poem entitled Gratitude for all to enjoy. I must admit that I felt quite buoyant a year ago. Meanwhile back here in 2018, I have felt depressed for several weeks. I still maintain a gratitude practice and blogging here is one of the sustainable joys in my life.

I also want to acknowledge all indigenous people all over the planet who anchor wisdom, tradition and integrity despite all the indignities they have suffered at the hands of the “discoverers”. Let’s all try to love another better and make kindness a habit rather than an occasional behavior.

PS Sorry that I  have not gotten around to responding to many of your comments.  Please be patient with me as I get caught up.  🙂

Namaste, litebeing

litebeing chronicles

wikimedia free domain

We celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States today. Gratitude practice is a large part of my life every day, in personal reflection and in my work as a therapist. So I am re-posting my gratitude poem from 2013 for you all to enjoy.

I have so much to be thankful for this year. It only took me a few weeks to obtain a new job, one that actually found me! I shed the victim persona, practiced Dr. Joe Dispenza’s chakra blessings meditation, and kept the faith.  I am grateful for renewed purpose, new friends and old, my beautiful nieces, and some improvement in health.

I am also thankful for my new mittens, that I found when I was shopping for something else. They are colorful, warm and very cozy, a pleasant alternative to my beloved gloves that did not last long as a pair in my possession. Life is…

View original post 459 more words

Gratitude at Solstice

Happy Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere and Happy Winter Solstice in the Southern Hemisphere! I am grateful to have readers all over the globe who grace me with their presence. One of many things I am grateful for.

I plan to use today to impart a radical gratitude practice. I do this now, rather than stew in all my problems or disappointments. In his new book, Everything is Here to Help You, Matt Kahn espouses that every circumstance will help us bring about more love for ourselves and each other. I much rather conclude that Source is conspiring for me, rather than against me.

I can feel the increase of light and warmth and am drinking it in. I live in such a beautiful neighborhood and am so lucky to be surrounded by trees and creatures of all kinds. As dusk approaches, my thoughts begin to settle down and my muscles begin to relax. I smell the sweet scent of lavender tealights and contemplate the day.

So here is a list in no particular order of what I am grateful for now:

The softening sky

Faint bird songs

Imminent fireflies aka lightning bugs

My hot pink kaleidoscope covered Samsung smart phone that allows me to take great pics and send them places ( and doubles as a flashlight.)

A virtual job interview tomorrow ( via Zoom) that excites me about what lies ahead.

Hydrangeas springing up outside my window, the inspiration for beautiful heartfelt emotions and scorpionic transformation and a symbol of this blog.

My new commitment to increasing sun exposure by taking daily morning walks. These walks help me get back in touch with nature and serves as a moving meditation bearing gifts:

Gentle inhalations and exhalations carry me from now to now, and back.

Great friends who love me for me, and write amazing books.

You can find Cindy’s first published book here.

Watching free Dead and Company live stream via Facebook, courtesy of Nugs TV. My teenage Deadhead self would never have imagined watching Bob Weir in real-time using a laptop on her couch.  no words….

Beauty is everywhere, just waiting to be absorbed and appreciated.

Meditating to Soleggio frequencies that are reminiscent of sound therapy baths, helping me leave my brain and raise my vibes.

The ability to take precious spaciousness, convert it to text, and share it with you.

Namaste and Solstice Blessings, Linda

May the light shine beyond your wildest dreams and may the darkness spin you into a transformed being of love.

Neptune Retrograde ~ End of the Line

This has not been an easy time, but when has it ever been easy? While  transiting Jupiter retrograded back on my natal Sun over the past few days, I spent most of the time physically ill and/or exhausted. Astrology is complicated and sometimes transits do not show up in a standard way. The late Donna Cunningham wrote about this topic and postulated that often astrological transits trigger internal events, even when it looks like they ought to be external.

I am not certain, but what I do know is how grateful I feel when the pain subsides or when I am able to just let go and be with the pain. How can we know sweet without bitter, light without dark? In the material world, duality is here to teach us the range of creation. Lately, I have noticed that more nudges have appeared, bringing into focus the complexity of emotion and the far-reaching impact of empathy.

Neptune just stationed retrograde this evening at 16 degrees Pisces and will remain retrograde until November 24th. Of course it just started raining as I type this post.  It is part of a grand water trine including Mercury and Jupiter. It also creates a grand water trine with my Mars in Cancer and Scorpio stellium. It exactly trines my Mercury and is transiting my first house. It has been there for many years and will remain there for many many more. For me, it emphasizes an internal re-calibration that is scary and exciting simultaneously. I would imagine many of my readers can relate, as so many of us are experiencing cosmic upgrades.

Neptune in Pisces has many interpretations and her impact will vary on your chart and your sensitivity to her energies. The God Neptune was male but I perceive the energies as feminine, hence the female pronouns! Some of the themes to be revisited during this cycle include: forgiveness, letting go, compassion, empathy, surrender, heart expansion, and boundless ecstasy. If you are typically Neptunian anyway, this cycle is just another day at the office! If not, you can use this time to hone your communication with your Higher Self and learn to block out the static on social media and the world at large.

It is also a great time to get into photography, so I am sharing some recent pics from Longwood Gardens. Before I go , I want to say thanks to those who have been there for me as I deal with the loss of my former patient and my hero Anthony Bourdain. My guess is these two souls had plenty in common, which makes their passing even more tragic. Thank you to Connie who has been there for me consistently over the years. She knows how to listen and hears what isn’t being said. Thank you

Many synchronicities have led me to consider that grief work may be part of my calling. I am happy to share that I have advanced in the hiring process for the position at the non-profit organization that offers grief support programming. I am hopeful that all will occur for the highest good. Thanks to all who continue to hold space for me and shine light, especially when I shut down and retreat.

Before the power goes out ( again), let me conclude with a special video. At my former job I would play videos for my guys at the beginning of Friday’s group therapy that were related to addiction or recovery. One of the first videos I played was End of the Line to celebrate Tom Petty and to illustrate letting go of judgements and expectations. This song has always been a favorite of mine and while some of the undertones are dark, the tempo is upbeat and conveys hope. Besides, there is something about me and trains that is yet to be fully explored.  I hope you enjoy it! I dedicate this post to my guys and to everyone that struggles with addiction:

Poetry ~ Gratitude

wikimedia free domain

We celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States today. Gratitude practice is a large part of my life every day, in personal reflection and in my work as a therapist. So I am re-posting my gratitude poem from 2013 for you all to enjoy.

I have so much to be thankful for this year. It only took me a few weeks to obtain a new job, one that actually found me! I shed the victim persona, practiced Dr. Joe Dispenza’s chakra blessings meditation, and kept the faith.  I am grateful for renewed purpose, new friends and old, my beautiful nieces, and some improvement in health.

I am also thankful for my new mittens, that I found when I was shopping for something else. They are colorful, warm and very cozy, a pleasant alternative to my beloved gloves that did not last long as a pair in my possession. Life is about choices, compromise, and the willingness to dream a new dream. I am blessed to be able to dream again and allow new visions to take shape. Hint, hint, that is a thinly veiled reference to my blogging challenge taking place NOW.

While my life is far from perfect and it may appear that the planet appears to be imploding with negativity and regressive attitudes and actions, there is always hope. Every breath is a new beginning.

Where there is darkness. the promise of light is certain. Where there is light, there is love, and lite.

namaste, litebeing

GRATITUDE

G – Generosity of spirit manifesting in each moment, with each inhalation

R- Resilience in the face of darkness, supporting me through many a storm

A- Ability to share myself through writing, teaching, healing, BEING

T- Twinkle of light in a child’s eyes, the sunset, my heart

I – Inspiration that never ceases to amaze me and warm my soul

T- Treasures that unfold effortlessly and in a multitude of forms

U- Unconditional love , from Dexter, family of choice, my friends near and far

D-Dreams manifesting mysteriously and magnificently, especially here at WordPress

E- Eternal miracles, just waiting to be discovered, right under my nose

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holy-day. Maybe that’s because it arrives so close to my Midheaven, or perhaps it’s my mother’s incredible stuffing. Then again it could be the ability to include anyone you want at the table, without the pressure of gifts or material constraints.  Less hype, more substance.

I personally am not a fan of holidays in general. The Quakers were right in saying that every day is holy. It can be if we choose to live and love in each moment. What makes Thanksgiving sacred to me is the idea of a tribal feasting and gratitude practice. Frankly there have been some years where I had difficulty reciting my blessings round the dinner table. Life has not always been kind or simple. Tomorrow it will difficult for my family to shut me up when it is my turn to share my blessings. With tears in my eyes and a glow in my heart, I am so aware what a remarkable year this has been! No, it has not been without challenges, mishaps, losses, and delays. But this is the first time in decades where I have realized so many of my original dreams and desires. Sometimes I just have to pinch myself. I never knew life could be so incredible…

But then again, it’s probably the stuffing, yummy!

Wishing you and yours a Blessed Thanksgiving, even if you do not formally celebrate! Let the love and bounty into your heart and tell everyone that you love them…

poem by litebeing chronicles © 2013

image by wikimedia.org 

New Moon Orchids and Such

Happy New Cancer Moon to all,

While this lunation at 2 degrees Cancer sits clearly in my 5th house of romance and fun, I am feeling none of the above. My work life is being thrown into chaos as funding woes have drastically changed my job description. My health is better in general, but pain is a constant companion most days. I am now on clinical supervisor number three and I keep asking myself if I am a masochist for attempting to complete the LCSW process. I will let you know when I figure it out.

On the bright side, I still have a job for now and some interesting developments have recently surfaced. I have just begun teaching astrology on a formal basis.  I interviewed for an opportunity to participate in a pilot project on supporting people on Spiritual Emergence/Awakening. More new people are appearing in my life in terms of group constellations and I find that exciting.

However, my energy level remains low and my worry about work is currently interfering with my ability to blog new material. Hopefully this will pass soon, but in the meantime I want to post some amazing orchids and such I shot a few months back at Longwood Gardens.

While no one is going to confuse me with a professional photographer, I must admit that I have enjoyed taking photos very early on. I prefer shooting natural scenes to people because I relish the opportunity to capture moments of beauty. As a very visual person, photography comes naturally to me. Not the technical aspects, but the pleasure of focusing on what comes your way. It can be a form of mindfulness.

I continue to engage in gratitude practice as it helps me re-program inherent negativity into new energy. I am grateful to have a platform to call my own which affords me the ability to broadcast instantaneous musings and imagery all over our planet.

namaste to all