In Plein Air

Last week I went to In Plein Air again and threw out my back. Go figure! As I contemplate John Mayer’s role in the Grateful Dead 2.0 version, I am reminded how much his song Daughters resonates for me. This is for all the fathers and children ( and adult children). Happy Father’s Day! PS I will be back soon with new content, please be patient 🙂

litebeing chronicles

Is it just me or is time racing by with a vengeance? We have a second Sag full moon, the Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere ( Happy Winter to our friends in the Southern Hemisphere) and Father’s day, all within 24 hours or less of one another.

This brings up plenty of stuff for me. Beginnings and endings, light and dark, knowledge and wisdom, fathers and daughters, presence and uncertainty.

Let’s begin with a touch of grace. Last Sunday I decided to have a brief stroll down Germantown Avenue to take in the Plein Air competition. Plein air is associated with the open air painting style found in French Impressionism. I live very close to the Garden district but rarely feel drawn to aimlessly wander up and down the avenue. But this event has a Parisian feel to it, so I figured why not?

After a healthy lunch, I…

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Colonodyssey~WTF?

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Intuitive drawing of my colon circa 2016

Is the third time a charm? I have safely emerged from hospitalization number three for diverticulitis. I went to the ER Sunday afternoon  May 14th and returned home on Tuesday May 16th. This past Thursday evening I felt worse and on Friday I had relentless chills and a feeling I was relapsing. I am back on antibiotics and my doctor is concerned about my recovery. I guess it is just as well that I never completed the Colonodyssey wrap-up post. Clearly this saga continues.

I have no great insights or epiphanies to report. I briefly looked for astrological transits and did not notice anything major. However, when I consider the solar house approach , where you place your Sun sign as the Ascendant  and use the whole sign house system, I shifted my perspective. I typically do not use this approach but it resonates for me strongly now. Placing my Scorpio sun as the Ascendant would give me an Aries 6th house of health and service. Uranus has been transiting there since 2010, which is when my health issues began to increase in frequency and intensity. I have been more focused on Uranus transiting my 2nd house of money and values in my traditional chart to consider this alternate system. But when Michael Lutin talks, I listen. He is a big fan of solar houses and when I read his site for Scorpio forecasts, he highlights health issues lately.

The whole house system ends where each sign ends so I have only until May 2018 to see a shift. At that point Uranus moves into my solar 7th house ( but remains in traditional 2nd house). The astrologers who read this will get it. For everyone else, here is the takeaway: There are always alternative explanations for any event or experience. As Matt Kahn says, each being is existing in its own unique reality or dimension where all is based on a range of frequencies. So wish as I might, to analyze everything to death, fugetaboutit.

I have been reading more about how to approach chronic and acute dis-ease in a more balanced way. I do resent that I have little control. I was planning a trip for my vacation week but stayed home due to medical and financial obstacles. On top of it all, my LCSW supervisor just informed me that she is ending our supervision later this month because of changes with her private practice. I am really beginning to question many of the recent decisions I have made lately. Little seems to stick in this reality that I am living in. Perhaps this is how it needs to be, but I find it frustrating.

I run a grief and loss group and I stress the importance of accepting and embracing change, letting in opportunities for growth and evolution. Sometimes I wonder if I am having this group so I can learn more myself. We do teach what we need to learn. I was watching Super Soul Sunday and the guest was saying how she encourages people to think about what is working, rather than what is going wrong. I use that technique in my group and thought it was my original idea, ha!

While I could complain about all that has happened the last few months ( years, decades), I rather be grateful for what remains after the dust settles. I keep learning more about myself and my attitudes and perceptions. I find joy in the small things. I can keep writing….

Namaste and thanks for your continued interest in my writing.

Art is my Medicine ~ Gemini New Moon Edition

Yesterday’s Gemini New Moon fell on my IC, the soul point. It also squares my Pluto in the 7th house of relationships. Pluto is currently transiting my 12th house of undoing, unconsciousness, and shadow ( among other things). Needless to say, I am in a contemplative state of being.

While I am working on a new post about my most recent hospital stay, I offer up some photos I took about 3 weeks ago at the Woodmere Art Museum. This small space serves as a local treasure for my community.

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I pray for peace within and without and am learning to accept what is.

For new readers and others interested in the state of my colon, here are the links for the colonodyssey posts:

https://litebeing.com/2016/02/17/colonodyssey-part-1/

https://litebeing.com/2016/03/17/colonodyssey-part-2/

 

See ya again soon.

Namaste, litebeing

Art is My Medicine ~ Pre Libra Full Moon Post Mercury Retrograde Edition

Hey litebeings!

As I continue to struggle to process a myriad of emotions within me during a difficult challenge, I yearn to express myself in words. I have done some journaling and have found it cathartic. I also meditated today with the new Oprah/Deepak Chopra series entitled Hope in Uncertain Times. As we integrate this powerful full moon and begin yet another Mercury retrograde cycle, self-care is more essential than ever. While this is a good start, I am too overwhelmed to create a coherent blog today.

But that does not mean I cannot share some art therapy that is guaranteed to lift spirits and lighten one’s burdens. My inspiration today came via a painting that appeared in my Facebook news feed. I invite you to take in the magic of Odilon Redon. I have featured his work here a few times before and the more I discover, the more joy inhabits my being. Let’s honor Libra’s ruler Venus with boundless beauty.

Enjoy the view :

all Odilon Redon via wikiart.org public domain

Wishing you a spectacular Libra Full Moon!

image credits ~ wikiart.org, public domain

Just a Bad Day, 12th house Woes

OMG I have to re-blog. I was meeting today with my spiritual director and thinking about the Sun ( and now Pluto ) transiting my 12th house. Then I went to a restaurant for lunch and two songs that were playing got my attention, Closing Time and Bad Day. I knew they were relevant. I remembered using Bad Day as a blog title. So a few hours later I am perusing my 12 house posts and this comes up! Hopefully this message will be helpful, especially to those who dread the US inauguration.

litebeing chronicles

I am not complaining, I promise.

Just wanting to be real in the moment. Ever have a day that seems to be off course from the minute you leave your bed to the minute you crawl back in? Yup, that’s today and it is happening to me. Despair and darkness surround me and even with the heat cranked up to the highest setting, it is utterly freezing! It is so 12th House today.

I am writing just to express my condition. My prayers appear unanswered but I am not certain. I keep feeling my feelings and reminding myself that I am being prepared for something beyond my imagination. I just don’t see anything beyond the chill in my bones and the bleak dark night.

Love is everywhere and I am aware of love’s inherent triumph. I just feel empty and powerless and unreachable. My ego is in hog heaven, lapping…

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wikimedia.org public domain

The Starman at 70 ~ Happy Forever David Bowie

David Bowie, had he lived, would have spent 70 years on Earth as of today. 70 reduces to 7, a sign of mysticism and Christ Consciousness, associated with the planet Neptune. While Bowie had elements of all the collective energies in his chart, Neptune is certainly well-presented. Artistry, musicality, acting, illusion, drugs, mystery, chameleon, shape-shifter, fashion, glamour, fluid identity, all very Neptune.

Rather than rehash what I have recently written, I rather provide links to various posts that include him in some way. You can choose which posts seem appealing and then discover how Bowie fits in.

My favorite Bowie album, Hunky Dory was a response to the transition to adulthood and becoming a father. It is about growth and maturity. In our society, 70 is considered a milestone and definitely elderly. With Capricorn natives , there is this age-reversal phenomenon a la Benjamin Button ; they get younger and freer over time. I think David would have appreciated that idea and hopefully embraced it.

https://litebeing.com/2016/11/18/sludge-party-neptune-direct/

https://litebeing.com/2016/02/27/a-selection-of-true-awakening-experiences-part-ii-litebeing-rising/

https://litebeing.com/2016/01/18/fill-your-heart/

https://litebeing.com/2016/01/17/timeless-tunes-updated-2/

https://litebeing.com/2016/01/16/share-my-world-2016-edition/

https://litebeing.com/2016/01/11/3-years-in-the-making/

https://litebeing.com/2015/06/09/moon-in-pisces-kinda-mood/

https://litebeing.com/2013/06/30/musing-we-can-be-heroes-just-for-one-day/

I just found out via google that an old lover Paul has died. He was only 55 years old and I am guessing drugs were involved. We were seeing each other when I was in my late teens and I have not heard from him in eons, but he had been on my mind lately. Watching a show today on Iggy Pop reminded me that we had seen him once in concert. That memory prompted me to google him. Iggy Pop and David Bowie were very close. Iggy said that David resurrected him.  Paul loved all kinds of music and that is one thing we shared in common. I think music kinda resurrected Paul, offering healing and magic. I know it has that effect on me.

I will dedicate this song to Paul and in memory of Bowie ( born David Jones). We met in 1978 when Heroes came out. I recall that Paul liked this tune and I think he would approve.

Musings at the Crossroads

SPOILER ALERT: Lots of poinsettia and introspection ahead….

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Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah , Merry Yule, and Happy Kwanzaa (December 26) to everyone associated in any way with this blog. You are my circle, my precious litebeing family, and I wish you boundless joy and love during this Solstice/Yuletide season.

You may enjoy listening to some of my favorite holiday music as you read on:

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There is plenty on my mind that needs sorting and releasing. This hodgepodge style post is mostly for me, but hopefully it will be interesting enough to read through. Way way overdue, so here we go…

High-way hazards: My commute to work is reasonable in duration but part of the trip is on a notoriously treacherous road. Years ago Robert predicted I would be in a major accident on this road. He sternly told me to never use it again, especially during rush hour. Robert was not always accurate, but he managed to frighten me nevertheless. The drivers are very aggressive and reckless and it takes some construction of armor for me to make this daily commute. But the near misses have occurred in other locations. About 6 weeks ago I had a vision after awakening where a white pickup truck or SUV would come at my vehicle from the right. It was so vivid and strange because it was not a dream, but a semi-awake ” scene.” A few days later, driving home on a very familiar road, a white SUV comes at me from the right and almost slams into my car. I drove into the opposing lane, which fortunately was clear. I only had been driving my new car a couple of weeks at the most. Then last Sunday I am trying to get some coffee before heading to a holiday party. It was incredibly crowded in my neighborhood and the energy was frenetic. Another huge, high-end SUV almost slams into me from the left lane. I prepare for a head-on collision and slammed on the brakes. The vehicle just missed me but I felt like I was attacked. I got out of the car, examined my vehicle and walked up to the driver, an older, well-appointed woman. I told her to be especially careful driving such a large vehicle. She declared that she did not hit me and seemed indifferent.

I think this incident triggered my GI pains the next day, which I thought might be diverticulitis. I was in shock at the holiday party and a bit off at work the following day. On the drive home I felt like a creature was kicking me from inside my belly. I went to the doctor and was put on antibiotics. Was it stress related IBS or diverticulitis? Per usual, I have no clue. What I do know is that I hate driving in a world where people poorly manage massive vehicles, text, and make calls while operating them.

Blue-Christmas: I have always felt alien during this time of year and this has not really changed, regardless of any inner-evolution. While I marvel at all the lights, trees decked out to the nines, and poinsettia in every color and permutation, I don’t understand this holiday. I do understand it is borrowed from pagan traditions and correlates with the beginning of Winter ( the Capricorn season), but emotionally it doesn’t click. I just don’t get it. I am inside my bubble where none of the festivities are able to enchant me. Being at work just amplifies my isolation. It took awhile for me to put it together, but working outside the home triggers more sadness and angst and increases my desire to build up my defenses. I do not fit in at work and am actually considering applying for new jobs in the New Year.

I have also requested a transfer to my friend’s position after she leaves. It may signal a new beginning with different co-workers and a nicer office. I find it so interesting that when I begin a new venture I am immune initially to the characters that emerge on the scene. At this juncture, so many of them resemble people I have encountered before. With the exception of my clients, my life has not been impacted much by having these “new” people in my stratosphere. I am still grateful though to be working and earning money. It is just that I continue to find myself in toxic settings and am beginning to conclude that it is not me, it is the state of office politics. On the positive side of the ledger, my supervisor approved my plan to create a new group for the young and/or newly diagnosed. I am excited about building something original based on my passion for helping people get back to the business of living. I will keep you updated.

wikipedia.org public domain

Traditionettes: I just made up this new word to describe some of what I set up for this season on a regular basis. Since I do not celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, there is not much to do. However there are some elements that bring my comfort and peace in a small way. I would seek out eggnog every December until I became lactose intolerant. Boy do I miss that drink, a concoction that tastes like a boozy milkshake. Maybe I can find a lactose – free version.  I always listen to the Nutcracker either on CD or on TV. I have been fortunate to see it live at least once and it was spectacular. Speaking of nuts, I have not eaten any whole nuts since April 2015, but I do enjoy nut milks and nut butters, etc. I am very enamored with chestnuts, going back to enjoying marrons glacĂ©s over ice cream as a child. I found chestnut cream this week ~ pureed chestnuts with vanilla and sugar. It is addictive! Try it with ice cream or yogurt, dip chocolate in it, spread it on a baguette, or straight out of the jar!

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I usually purchase a poinsettia and place it on the dining room table. I enjoy experimenting with nuanced colors and patterns. They add a warm glow to any setting. This year I chose one with peachy leaves, resembling autumn foliage. This plant is not poisonous for pets and has such a storied history. Learn more about poinsettia here.

Fate and purpose: I continue to ponder who is driving this bus, meaning, who is the ” me ” that enjoys the Nutcracker and dips chocolate in purĂ©ed chestnuts? How or what is the source of my love affair with astrology and Indian cuisine? Where does my affinity for writing and obsession with pattern and color originate? Is it personality or Divine guidance, ego or Higher Self ? Joe Dispenza states that what we anticipate through intention or intuition is really what we are destined to have in our lives. We just get a sneak preview of what fate has in store for us. Matt Kahn says that everything is fated, but the degree of worthiness we attribute to our circumstances determines the outcome. So I ponder: if all is determined beforehand, why desire anything? What is the point? Who is doing the desiring anyway? Any thoughts on this?

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Rudolph’s friends: While listening to the end of Matt Kahn’s video yesterday, I noticed some movement in the backyard. At first I thought it was a dog, but I sensed much  more activity. I observed and counted at least 10 deer hanging out in broad daylight. A few of them were actually prancing around, which seemed novel to me. A stray cat emerged out of central casting, moving slowly and seemingly oblivious to all the deer activity. It truly was a whirlwind of activity! I am quite fond of deer and was happy to have them congregate near me, albeit briefly. So today I was gifted a free subscription to Carrie Hart’s power animal site and selected a power animal for the day. Guess who choose me? the buck! The central message for buck is grace, confidence, and renewal. This definitely seems fitting and the synchronicity between the deer sighting and choosing the buck adds more energy to the message. Perhaps this was a faint taste of holiday magic for me to savor.

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Last Christmas: While preparing this post, I was conjuring up memories of some of my favorite holiday songs. Some of these include Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses. BandAid’s Do They Know It’s Christmas, Do You Hear What I Hear?, Anything Nutcracker, Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song, Father Christmas by the Kinks, and George Michael’s Last Christmas. Most of these are pop songs by contemporary artists that I grew up with. They are touchstones that give me the illusion of safety and comfort. Just like the chestnut cream or eggnog, they are cozy and soothing. They also help me mark the passing of time. I just learned that George Michael passed away at age 53. I first heard his music when he was in Wham and I found his voice romantic and soulful. Many of his songs were part of the soundtrack of my early adulthood. He was so much more that a pretty face; his voice was gorgeous and his lyrics were incredibly moving. I do not know if he died today, but it was announced today, on Christmas. His song Last Christmas helped me gauge the passing of each year and the direction for the future. Call it ironic but one of his most iconic songs partially foretold his future. His life would end on Christmas, his last one.

chestnuts image courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

J2P: Women’s Issues and Healing

Leigh’s post on the necessity of feminism is quite moving and extremely relevant. Please read and share 🙂

in lite, litebeing

Not Just Sassy on the Inside

Suffragette (women's rights movement) Emmeline... Suffragette (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

One of the arenas in which I have been really disturbed by Trump and the voters of America is the subject of women and women’s rights.

I feel like he’s made it quite clear he thinks it’s perfectly all right for men to grope and molest and sexually harass women any time they want.  And that makes me feel anyone who voted for him was basically saying they favor that.

I know young women today are for some reason turned off to the women’s movement and that bugs me (which I’ve discussed here) but I don’t think they get how bad it was or how recently.

HOW IT WAS

You see I am old enough that when I had my first jobs, there were no sexual harassment laws.  It was perfectly acceptable for a man to follow you into a supply closet or an alcove…

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Lavender to Support the Challenges of Change & Intense Times

I am really into lavender lately and want to pass on Tania’s lovely lavender post. Nature wants to help us heal ❤ and the aroma is incredible.

thanks Tania!

Tania Marie's Blog

These photos I took of lavender in the International Peace Garden were some of my favorite and partnered well with the essence of peace and sense of calm experienced and symbolized by this place we visited and received clarity of direction in our journey. And with the intensities and transitions many are experiencing, I felt to share about lavender again as one way to support self-nurturing and help you to relax into the flow of life more with ease and embrace through the intensity of energies, over-stimulus of things in the environment, or the challenges of change.

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There are many ways you can use lavender, but no matter how you are called to you’ll find it’s nostalgia to bring to mind long summer days, nature’s magick, childhood memories, nurturing baths, tender moments, and of course our enchanting Faery friends.

However you bring some lavender into your experience, your life will increase in…

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A Simple Tale

Brief update: Happy to report my laptop is back home after a harrowing four days at Best Buy’s Geek Squad. All sorts of confusion and ridiculousness ensued and I am hoping at least some of it can be attributed to the Uranus station yesterday. I like Windows 10 and it is simpler in design than Window’s 8. I cannot get Cortana to talk to me, but maybe she isn’t one of my guides 🙂

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Two days ago I had a quick tale to tell. Now I have a simple tale about miracles and perspective. I am sharing this not only to inspire you , but to remind myself that all is well, somehow…

 

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I had the notion that the deadline to install Windows 10 for free on my laptop was fast approaching. I am not certain  I want the upgrade because of the privacy issues associated with the new operating system. Still, I wanted to learn more about it. My laptop may be incompatible with Windows 10 because of its age. So I did some research and was left more baffled than before. I decided to call the Geek Squad that is affiliated with the store where I purchased my PC. I was connected to a man with a strong southern drawl. His name was …… DEXTER.

Dexter was not able to answer my questions to my satisfaction and the remote viewing process disabled my security software. This freaked me out so I was leery of continuing further. However, I asked him if his name was Dexter and he answered in the affirmative. I wanted to be certain I had heard him correctly.

In my 55 years of living on Earth, I believe this is the first time I spoke to a human named Dexter. The fact that this happened 4 days after the anniversary of his passing was not lost on me. I sense that this urgent need to learn about the windows upgrade was communicated to me. I cannot be certain of this, but I was considering checking out cats tomorrow at the animal shelter. I do not know if this is a sign I should proceed, or more likely confirmation of my intense focus on my Dexter.

After this encounter, I watched the film Miracles From Heaven. It is about a young girl who undergoes a transformation that tests the faith of her family. I like Jennifer Garner and am attracted to these types of stories. I was quickly drawn into the story because the protagonist has a mysterious digestive disorder requiring numerous tests and hospital visits. If I had known this beforehand, I may have not watched the film. Her stomach becomes quite bloated and she is in constant excruciating pain. She endures an endoscopy and meets with several GI specialists. This was hitting too close to home.

Then the song Collide begins to play and my heart bursts wide open. That song is my jam. This song links me to my mystical encounter that happened eleven years ago on July 21st 2005. Today is July 16th, hmmmm.

The song was used to illustrate a strong connection between this ordinary, traditional church-going  family and the power of Source. I was quite tickled by this because Collide was written as a romantic love song. I intuited it to be about a higher love and it appears that the producers did so as well.

I will not give the story away because this film is relatively new. What I will say is that interwoven into the main storyline are several subtle miracles in action. I noticed a few of them immediately, but later on they are highlighted to convey the significance of faith.

I came away from today feeling mixed emotions. I am experiencing the extreme sadness and anguish that often accompanies pain, suffering, and powerlessness. At the same time, I am also warmed by the electric vitality of bold synchronicities that cannot be explained away.

I still am undecided about getting Windows 10 and adopting a new cat. But I feel less disconnected and more enchanted. Jennifer Garner’s character quotes Einstein at a pivotal point in the plot:

There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle.

Which way do you choose?

 

image credits ~ wikipedia.org, public domain