Answer the Call

Close to five years later, this video is still on point.
Feeling low, agitated, frustrated, hurt? Listen to the message, it is ON!
namaste ❤

litebeing chronicles

I am in love with this video. It is a rap ascension video. Yes, you read this right! It is like no-thing I have ever heard.  It latched onto my heart and my soul grinned in agreement. Then he mentioned being a Scorpio!

Enough said. Time to listen.

header image ~ wikipedia.org, public domain

View original post

Book Review : The Little Soul and the Sun

litebeing’s note: I have re-posted a section of a blog I wrote in 2014 to showcase this book review. It just occurred to me that if we truly want to save this planet and each other, we need to be kinder, forgive more, resent less, and become more open to each other. This is not about the “other”, rather it is about recognizing there is no one outside of ourselves. Separation is an illusion. This children’s book is truly a gift to all children of Creation, reminding us to see the Divine everywhere and all-ways.

It was nearly fourteen years ago when I first was introduced to The Little Soul and the Sun by Neale Donald Walsch.  After gazing at it on Amazon for a long time ( could not find it offline), I finally ordered it.  The package arrived a few days ago and we had a joyous reunion! To read it again after all this time is so empowering and certain passages triggered a profound crying spell. These were tears of recognition of the power of the Source and my longing for that complete connection. Shortly after I had my awakening during the Summer of 2005 I returned to a very chaotic work situation. Many people had moved on and the entire leadership team of my department was in flux. One of my supervisors ( one of the few who remained) was led to bring me a book to borrow. He had never done so before. He came to my cubicle and said that he wanted me to read this book because it will help me deal with a very difficult dilemma. He handed me this children’s book. I am thinking ” Why is he giving me a children’s book?” When I saw that the author was Neale Donald Walsch, creator of the Conversation with God series, I was happy to dig in.

This beautifully illustrated tale is about the purpose of the human experience and the contracts we make with one another in order to help us fulfill our unique expression of the Divine. It tells the tale of one soul who wanted to live the wonder of his being through physical expression on Earth and chose to experience the nature of forgiveness. This short story succinctly explains the role of darkness in the Universe and why this physical world is ” all pretend.” It is indeed a children’s book, but I enjoyed it as much or more than many of the heady metaphysical material that I pore through on a regular basis. The main theme is to forgive one another for any perceived wrongdoing and to recognize that we are all loving beings of light.

I understood the reason my supervisor lent me this book, yet I was unable to forgive this coworker who was to play a powerful role in my workgroup. I did not have the support necessary to deal with her daily, and look beyond her current persona that was quite untrustworthy and manipulative. While I understood that a great life lesson was before me, I simply was unprepared to take this challenge on. Not at this time.

I ultimately used this situation to once and for all make a clean break from a system that I had outgrown. This coworker actually did me a huge favor by being a catalyst that set these events in motion. By the way, I  lent my supervisor Dan Millman’s The Way of the Peaceful Warrior in exchange for his kind gesture.  It was the least I could do!

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants a major heart-opening. This may seem paradoxical to many, but often the simpler texts teach me more about life than the scholarly ones. Perhaps this is why I am so drawn to poets like Rumi. He packed millennia of lifetimes condensed into mere sentences. Sometimes less is more. Check out Sindy’s post here to read the entire story!

May we all become wiser, stronger, more conscious and kinder to ourselves and everyone who crosses our path.

book image courtesy of amazon.com

Sick Day Summary

It has been so long since I have published anything original. Working 4 ten hour days a week ( including evenings) has left me tired or depleted energetically more often than not. I think about this blog and community often and I want you all to know you are with me every step of the way.

The way has been busy and productive but tinged with loneliness, anxiety, and dread. I am grateful to have a job I enjoy where I can see what I have helped create. Yet I feel very insecure, waiting for the other foot to drop. I am lucky to have people I can discuss my worries with, but it is not always enough. So many years of underemployment or unemployment have left me shaky and uneasy. With both transiting Pluto and Saturn trudging around my 12th house, I understand where some of this malaise is rooted. But still, it persists.

My relationship with my mother remains fractured and this saddens me, and yet, it seems to be more real. I try to balance my awareness of her advancing age with my need to let her know that we have mostly been strangers to one another throughout our entire relationship.  I work on remaining careful not to hurt her and still communicate as directly and plainly as I can. I want to be the bigger person but it is difficult when I am the bigger person all over my life. There are so few people who can comfort me and hear me and really accept me just as I am. So I strive to be that person for me. Learning to love yourself IS the greatest love of all.

I called out sick today and it was much needed. I am happy to report my body is on the mend, so my choice to stay home was a sound one. With Mercury retrograde, I still had to spend unwanted time contacting colleagues because of communication breakdowns.  I have been feeling so tired lately. The astro weather isn’t helping either. My uncle died and my boss quit his job within days of each other during this eclipse cycle.  Two different events; one natural, the other seemingly unexpected. I recently concluded my uncle was the last male relative of the generation before mine.  I did not know him well. We were not close, but he is a symbol of my childhood and he was a decent man. Uranus most likely messed with his Taurus sun, but he lived a long life, seemingly content.

My boss is one of the nicest supervisors I have ever worked with. Spoiler alert: when I am fortunate enough to get a great boss, they usual resign shortly after I am hired. He stayed for almost 6 months of my tenure and that is a record. He is a double Pisces, so of course, we got along. He has his faults, but he is so good with people, so kind, and so caring. A real lightworker. I did not see his resignation coming, but here it is. I have a history of scary supervisors replacing the nice ones, but I can rewrite this old narrative. In fact, I already have: ” I have learned so much about this new job setting and mastered so many new tasks while working with this person. He believes in me and is not afraid to be complimentary and recognize hard work. I saw how authority does not have to be used to gain power and control. I appreciate the time I worked with him and the impact he has made.”

I am grieving him, even while he still is working with me for a few more weeks. I assumed I would leave before he would. Oh well, I was mistaken. I do not do loss well, but over time I have been able to let go sooner and easier. This is growth. Speaking of loss, I have had a few dreams lately featuring my first cat Jasmine. I have no digital pictures of her to post, but I can describe her as a petite calico with green eyes. She was gorgeous and independent and aloof. But she was my first baby and I adopted her at about 7 weeks old. She lived with me for 16 years. Dexter was bigger than life, but Jasmine taught me about how to nurture another. It is curious why she is emerging in dreamtime, but it is cool to see her again happy and thriving.

This catchup post is a hodgepodge of topics, quickly assembled from the recesses of my mind and heart, but it feels liberating to share my ramblings with you on this cooler than usual July evening. So much remains uncertain, but one idea rings true: service with passion equals a full heart and warm soul.

MICHELLE WALLING: “The False Matrix Mission Trick”

Not surprisingly, whatever we focus on multiplies. Here is a post on Soul Mission that resonates with me and my blog challenge rather strongly. I do not agree with all of it, nor is that required.  Michelle makes some strong points, especially about specialness and spiritual bypass.

In light, litebeing

Ascension Avatar

A popular false light tactic is to make you feel like you are a “chosen one”, with a mission that is above all else, including human relationships and love. Many people jump into healing, websites, and channeling without doing the inner work first, because a “guide” came to them with a message.

We are the ultimate creators, and when we are still operating and creating from lower vibrations EVERYTHING gets distorted. That is the nature of the reality of the matrix. Everything is backward and upside down, and the truth is that we created it that way. Now it is time to un-create. First we have to recognize what needs to be un-created, and in this case, it is distortion. Distorted healing methods, distorted guides and messengers, and most of all, distorted focus on your true mission.

You are here to BE LOVE IN A HUMAN BODY, which trumps all…

View original post 1,087 more words

A Heartful of Wonder

I have created this piece for my Divine Mission-Possible blogging challenge. Visit here for all the details and to see the schedule. Interest in participation has been low this time around. But you can change that in an instant!

Please join us now and make this year’s challenge the best one yet!

This topic of life mission is an easy one for me to address because I ruminate about it all the time. As I entered middle age and witnessed the loss of many of my friends’ parents and many of my relatives, the grip of time became tighter. Time continues to speed up so fast that when I plan events many months in advance, I recognize that they will arrive in what appears to be only a week or two. So what have I done so far and is there a point to my existence?  I have felt quite depressed for the past few weeks, considering if I have veered way off course. It is so tempting to focus solely on the regrets, errors, losses, pain, and disappointment.  But such a narrow perspective can be a distraction from where this sea of memories has transported me thus far.

I was a very quiet, reserved child who felt different and in the way somehow. I spent plenty of my days passively observing the world around me. My sensitivity, curiosity and imagination have been profoundly obvious from the start and it took me some practice to cultivate the gifts they could provide. The ability to delight in the grace of artistry have given me comfort beyond description. When I was able to transcend early despair and woundedness, I could access joy through a kaleidoscopic lens.

So much pain created so much chaos, but the correct people and opportunities presented me with the ability to discover what moved me. Writing, astrology, and spelling of all things, taught me how to channel my imagination, wonder, and visual acuity into form. I think that I was a great speller because I had an uncanny ability to visualize words. I no longer possess that ability, but excelling and competing in spelling gave me confidence that was sorely needed as a child.

The rocky cliffs of Étretat by Monet.jpg

My love of beauty led me to draw as my curiosity led to studying astrology. Drawing still relaxes me and conversing with a client about their birth chart brings all the analysis and attention to symbols and patterns to life. It is so natural to understand why certain aspects of mysticism are effortless to me now. I honestly prefer what comes easily to me, but that is not what I apparently signed up for. If earthly life could only be an impressionist painting, waiting for me to dive in and immerse my soul in its delicacy and shimmering rays of bliss?

I do relate to the idea of a lightworker and have for quite a good while. I was around before the harmonic convergence, before ” New Age ” became a thing. I was coming into my own during the swirling, hazy Seventies, where the experimentation and boundary blurring of the Sixties had shaped our Western world through a technicolor lifestyle. I decided while in high school that I wanted to become a therapist and a writer, and make my impact on brightening up the planet. Like many of us, I longed to fix the brokenness around me and inside me. I retain some of that idealism, but am much more incarnation-fatigued than ever before.

I came here to heal, teach, inspire and share cumulative knowledge through the occult, psychic/intuitive abilities,  creative impulses and wit. Yeah, I came in naturally witty ( Moon in Gemini). It has taken decades to see a clear path through my lineage and probable past lifetimes here and elsewhere. While the specifics are not absolute, the residue has led me to this conclusion. I am not certain about all the other labels we humans like to give ourselves, but I have been taught since my twenties that the planet would be transforming in a radical way. I do not have distinct memories of planning this lifetime, nor am I being informed of this by guides. Working on myself and serving others has provided me with this inner knowing.

all of these paintings under impressionist heading wikipedia pub domain

Am I grateful to be alive here and now? Not usually, no. The past 6 years or so have been incredibly terrifying and heart wrenching for me a good deal of the time. I have written extensively about the difficulties so I will not rehash them again. The grip on my neck is tightening and the stakes are higher. Or they seem to be. I am not always clear on how much more hardship is in store for us individually or universally. I do feel that I am on a mission and that without all the early blows and ancestral damage, the motivation may not have been in full force. I have read from several sources that old-time lightworkers lost their way because they became inundated with the harshness of the material overlay that can hinder the development of consciousness. I know this is true for me. But I have not given up, not entirely. On countless occasions, an unexpected, often subtle sign would appear, helping my melt away my despair, albeit temporarily. The more I love, the more my heart opens. The more vulnerable I allow myself to remain, the greater is the likelihood of pain and grief to penetrate my soul. But here’s the thing; my soul is so much bigger than little I, so much stronger than this body that I am renting by the hour. So I do the best I can, and when I need to rest, I rest. A full heart is a mixed blessing, but in the unlimited realms from where we all originate(and currently reside in parallel realities), blessings are infinite.

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Pluto station – purge, clear, forgive, release

Howdy litebeings! Pluto  in Capricorn stations direct this Sunday 9-30-18. This event occurs on the heels of Venus stationing retrograde on 10-5-18 in Pluto ruled Scorpio ( where Jupiter currently resides). The convergence of Saturnian, Jupiterian and Plutonian energies is quite palpable. Just look to the societal dramas as they escalate to a profound cathartic crescendo.

This station is a BIG deal!  Enjoy this reblog that provides some helpful tools and insights, Do the work, I promise to  continue to work alongside of you.

  Namaste, litebeing

The Apathy of Options

Many of you know I am a huge fan of Matt Kahn’s work. However, I am not excited about everything he shares on social media. This most recent video affected me in ways that are so intense that the word profound is too mild a description. There are no words here, only experience.

Initially while viewing the start of the video, I thought the concepts being introduced were ridiculous and began to disengage. I am glad I hung in there though because the material just kept getting more and more interesting. What I have gleaned so far from Matt’s teachings is that he is preparing us for a larger reality and how to undo what restricts us from being the fullest, most splendid version of ourselves, beyond limitations.

Let me know your reactions!  love, litebeing

This New Now

Welcome to the new now! We are in the thick of eclipse season, having just digested a partial solar eclipse on 7-12-18 at 20 degrees Cancer. If you are interested in a great article on this lunation, check out this link to Mike Lutin’s siteIt packs quite a wallop and is way more sophisticated than most astrologers’ musings. The degree point is 20 degrees Cancer opposing transiting Pluto. All you have to do is go online or , dare I say it, read a newspaper and you will see Pluto in Cap, doing its dismantling thing.

In my chart, this eclipse hits my natal Mars in the 6th house of health, small pets, work, and daily routine.  Mars is about our force, drive, volition, and desire.The 6th house is traditionally ruled by Mercury, which is associated with communication. Cancer rules emotions, roots, stomach region, food, family, soul, mother, and country. I can illustrate how this played out in short order. I went to a barbecue with friends, which was a last minute decision. I was happy once I arrived at my friend’s house as he is a cat person, and there was plenty of feline energy. Another friend met us there and we drove out to the country. It was a very hot day, but it felt good to be among ( astrologer) friends and do something conventional for a change. So we arrived at the party and it is a lovely home, loaded with more kitties. I was so happy to be immersed in this pleasant atmosphere. The conversation and food were good and I met some new people. We spent some time surveying the extensive grounds and I tried to avoid the sun because it felt draining to me.

The next day I discovered an odd rash on my upper body and called the doctor when I began running a fever. I was advised to take Benadryl and not to worry. I took the lowest dose and then felt worse so I went to urgent care because my doctor was not in the office. They basically laughed at me, after  I paid a steep co-pay, and said I was fine. The doctor refused to run any tests. Then my colon began acting up and I was in pain. I could not sleep well and was concerned. So I went to see my doctor’s alternate on Friday. She ran tests and gave me  a script for antibiotics.  I started taking them and slowly the pain receded and my temp returned close to baseline. Upon arriving home I receive an email stating I was not chosen for the Director of Grief services job. This news really stung.

My doctor said all the tests were okay except for the inflammation marker , which was off the charts. He was not sure what triggered it, but said to stay the course and keep him posted. He actually called me on Sunday. I have the nicest doctor on this planet in my opinion. We do not always agree on treatment, but he is caring, patient, kind, and dependable.

The rash seems to be better, but I am avoiding the sun a bit longer. The day of the actual eclipse triggered a crash of my Word program on my laptop, most likely caused by the latest Windows update. I spent the actual lunation on the phone with the tech in the Philippines as she re-installed the program.

Findings: Here are some keywords for this time period – cats ( small animals), rash, inflammation, stomach, job rejection, barbecue, Word program, computer update, computer tech using remote technology. See how these keywords capture the symbolism of Mars, Cancer and the 6th house? Honestly, I was not expecting another colonodyssey, but fortunately I caught it in time.

I was very excited because a rare transit was to being for me on the Fourth of July: Uranus trine Jupiter. It is really an astounding aspect, signalling unexpected fortune! But I ended up with illness and a job rejection! This is a case where a more impactful astro event can “eclipse” another event! I am still looking for miracles, especially as Jupiter moves forward to approach my sun in the weeks ahead. As the new moon in my 6th house can signal a new job, I am gearing up for a fresh approach, steeped in meditation, mindfulness, and connecting positive thoughts to joyful emotion. This law of attraction practice is endorsed by Wayne Dyer, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Esther Hicks, and many others.

They may package the material differently, but it still boils down to this ” Neurons that fire together wire together! – Donald Hebb.

So my plan is to continue to feel my feelings, embrace gratitude practice, employ the law of attraction, all while staying in the body in the matrix-reality dreamscape we call 3D living. I do think that I am approaching other realms while awake, but it is difficult to truly discern. My sense of time and space has shifted, as evidenced by my trip to the store today. I am in the supermarket and see a box of confections from a distance that remind me of Irish potato candy. As I move closer I am thinking we are approaching St Patrick’s Day. The box is not Irish Potato candy and it is July, not March! Not long ago I might have assumed that I am losing it, but not now. My concept of space and time is fluid and as someone whose current life is less structured, there is less to demarcate these rather artificial signposts.

While I regret not being hired for the Grief services position, I have processed it and let it go. I have new hope for my future and will not be bogged down in victim consciousness. Most spiritual teachers postulate that as we evolve, all will fall away that is no longer working in our best interest, the highest good. This does beg the question, does that mean everything and everyone that remained in my life for an extensive time was for my highest good? I do not have an answer, but cannot remain stuck there. Life is very short and I do not want to get in my own way. I hope you will join me in really living in this new now.

images ~ public domain

Winter Review ~ I Can Hear Music

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Gmaxwell http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Commons:GNU_Free_Documentation_License_1.2

Now that we are clearly into Summer in Eastern USA, with a wild heat wave in effect, I have decided to unpack my Winter. I am using Winter loosely, referring to late September through late March. With Mars and most of the other planets retrograde, I want to work with these energies and take a look deeper within.

I have been considering for weeks how exactly to approach writing about this topic. So many outside events triggered so much inner activity and I am still processing it. I decided to just follow my heart and take it step by step.

Feeling the fear: This is difficult to write about. And yet, this story has been waiting patiently to be heard and my readers deserve an explanation. If I had a nickel for every time I asked myself ” What would I do if my deepest fears were realized? “, I would have plenty of nickels! An event took place in September that rocked me to my core and was really a Godsend in disguise. Do any of you remember that I tool the blog private for a few weeks? Yes, I shut it all down and then simply declared I ‘m back.

Well now I will tell you what happened: I went on a second interview at the drug rehab facility and I was excited but nervous. I wanted this job, but lacked confidence that I was qualified. The woman who would be my immediate supervisor let me know that she googled me and read my blog. I thought ” How can this be? My name is not attached to it. ”  I was so shocked that it took me some time to compose myself. Scorpios like doing the hunting, not being the prey!  She wanted to know if I was planning on using Astrology as part of my therapy. Another person in the room said she would not want to see Astrology contained in the treatment plans. ” WTF? How stupid are these people and why are they asking these ridiculous questions? , I asked myself. ” What felt like an eternity later, I explained that Astrology has many merits and includes a means to explore personality, but that I am a Licensed professional and do not force my views on anyone. I revealed that if a client asked me about astrology that I would discuss it, but it does not drive my practice.

Clearly my answers were fine, because I was hired, but I was dumbfounded. I wrestled with putting my name on this blog and decided against it because my profession can be very conventional. I felt violated that this stranger was reading my blog and had access to so much personal information. Later I figured out how she landed here and I corrected the issue. Bottom line, sometimes what seems like the worst thing possible may just end up being incredibly awkward. I could never have predicted that she would ask me about astrology and was blindsided. I thought my hiring prospects were finished and I was wrong. Let me be clear, I am not ashamed of anything I write and most of my blogs are public. It is just that most people who visit litebeing chronicles are about the path. They are not looking for red flags. Anyway, I stopped writing for a while because I felt exposed, but eventually figured that my self-expression is way too important to be held hostage. You may wonder, what is the blessing? After some deliberation, I realized that I did survive it and the confrontation led to a positive outcome. I also realized that I judge myself more harshly than anyone else, and it was high time I let that go.

Have you ever felt concerned about who might read your musings?

How did you handle it?

wikipedia public domain

You’re on my mind like a song on the Radio: Many wild and woolly happenings occurred during my time working at the Rehab. My life seemed like I was living a dream while awake. Some events were enjoyable and others were unpleasant. Today I will share an in-between experience. Most readers know by now that the car radio serves as an oracle. So I tend to pay attention when patterns emerge while driving in my car. Three songs kept repeating and repeating and repeating.  All three are old and there was no logical explanation. They are not affiliated with the death of an artist, a sports franchise or a major holiday. I still hear them often now, expect maybe not with the same extreme frequency.

A few weeks into the job, the first song showed up. Cindy Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is a pop classic at this point. I liked it when it came out and it usually lifts my mood. While it is not unusual to hear it on the radio once or twice a month, I was hearing it several times a week. Sometimes I heard it every day. I mentioned it to my coworkers and they found it odd. I was even considering keeping a log just for my records.

Then a few weeks later the other two songs began to serenade me. They are very similar and also from the 1980s. They are associated with films and became rather popular for a few years. The frequency of the airplay was starting to get to me. On one occasion, one of the tunes was playing on 2 of my programmed stations at the same time. It was quite out of control. The songs are If You Leave and Don’t  You Forget About Me. They both are sung with yearning and sadness. They were referring to romance , but could also reflect the fear of feeling rejected or unimportant.

I was getting the impression that these songs were more than synchroncities, but rather premonitions. Perhaps I was given a heads up about the layoffs and my concerns about my patients after they left treatment. Clearly I was not having enough fun in my life, as it revolved around work, a brutal commute, and lots of bodywork appointments. But then again, there could be more to this , still left undiscovered. I strongly sense there is more to it, because the songs continue to play regularly.

Are there certain tunes you hear repeatedly on the radio ( playlists don’t apply.) ?

What meanings do they reveal to you?

I Don’t Have Words

Hey litebeings, I don’t have words, no not yet. I am still preparing my next post while processing my emotions and navigating this  “new now “.

Although  I have no words, I DO have something for you. While re-reading my post Could You Be  Loved?  , I was curious about the video I featured.  I remember how powerful the message was, but that was all I remembered. So on this void of course Scorpio Moon I re-viewed it again.

Damn, my mind is blown!

So if you are up for a little mind-blowing, check this out:

 

until we meet again, litebeing