The Apathy of Options

Many of you know I am a huge fan of Matt Kahn’s work. However, I am not excited about everything he shares on social media. This most recent video affected me in ways that are so intense that the word profound is too mild a description. There are no words here, only experience.

Initially while viewing the start of the video, I thought the concepts being introduced were ridiculous and began to disengage. I am glad I hung in there though because the material just kept getting more and more interesting. What I have gleaned so far from Matt’s teachings is that he is preparing us for a larger reality and how to undo what restricts us from being the fullest, most splendid version of ourselves, beyond limitations.

Let me know your reactions!  love, litebeing

This New Now

Welcome to the new now! We are in the thick of eclipse season, having just digested a partial solar eclipse on 7-12-18 at 20 degrees Cancer. If you are interested in a great article on this lunation, check out this link to Mike Lutin’s siteIt packs quite a wallop and is way more sophisticated than most astrologers’ musings. The degree point is 20 degrees Cancer opposing transiting Pluto. All you have to do is go online or , dare I say it, read a newspaper and you will see Pluto in Cap, doing its dismantling thing.

In my chart, this eclipse hits my natal Mars in the 6th house of health, small pets, work, and daily routine.  Mars is about our force, drive, volition, and desire.The 6th house is traditionally ruled by Mercury, which is associated with communication. Cancer rules emotions, roots, stomach region, food, family, soul, mother, and country. I can illustrate how this played out in short order. I went to a barbecue with friends, which was a last minute decision. I was happy once I arrived at my friend’s house as he is a cat person, and there was plenty of feline energy. Another friend met us there and we drove out to the country. It was a very hot day, but it felt good to be among ( astrologer) friends and do something conventional for a change. So we arrived at the party and it is a lovely home, loaded with more kitties. I was so happy to be immersed in this pleasant atmosphere. The conversation and food were good and I met some new people. We spent some time surveying the extensive grounds and I tried to avoid the sun because it felt draining to me.

The next day I discovered an odd rash on my upper body and called the doctor when I began running a fever. I was advised to take Benadryl and not to worry. I took the lowest dose and then felt worse so I went to urgent care because my doctor was not in the office. They basically laughed at me, after  I paid a steep co-pay, and said I was fine. The doctor refused to run any tests. Then my colon began acting up and I was in pain. I could not sleep well and was concerned. So I went to see my doctor’s alternate on Friday. She ran tests and gave me  a script for antibiotics.  I started taking them and slowly the pain receded and my temp returned close to baseline. Upon arriving home I receive an email stating I was not chosen for the Director of Grief services job. This news really stung.

My doctor said all the tests were okay except for the inflammation marker , which was off the charts. He was not sure what triggered it, but said to stay the course and keep him posted. He actually called me on Sunday. I have the nicest doctor on this planet in my opinion. We do not always agree on treatment, but he is caring, patient, kind, and dependable.

The rash seems to be better, but I am avoiding the sun a bit longer. The day of the actual eclipse triggered a crash of my Word program on my laptop, most likely caused by the latest Windows update. I spent the actual lunation on the phone with the tech in the Philippines as she re-installed the program.

Findings: Here are some keywords for this time period – cats ( small animals), rash, inflammation, stomach, job rejection, barbecue, Word program, computer update, computer tech using remote technology. See how these keywords capture the symbolism of Mars, Cancer and the 6th house? Honestly, I was not expecting another colonodyssey, but fortunately I caught it in time.

I was very excited because a rare transit was to being for me on the Fourth of July: Uranus trine Jupiter. It is really an astounding aspect, signalling unexpected fortune! But I ended up with illness and a job rejection! This is a case where a more impactful astro event can “eclipse” another event! I am still looking for miracles, especially as Jupiter moves forward to approach my sun in the weeks ahead. As the new moon in my 6th house can signal a new job, I am gearing up for a fresh approach, steeped in meditation, mindfulness, and connecting positive thoughts to joyful emotion. This law of attraction practice is endorsed by Wayne Dyer, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Esther Hicks, and many others.

They may package the material differently, but it still boils down to this ” Neurons that fire together wire together! – Donald Hebb.

So my plan is to continue to feel my feelings, embrace gratitude practice, employ the law of attraction, all while staying in the body in the matrix-reality dreamscape we call 3D living. I do think that I am approaching other realms while awake, but it is difficult to truly discern. My sense of time and space has shifted, as evidenced by my trip to the store today. I am in the supermarket and see a box of confections from a distance that remind me of Irish potato candy. As I move closer I am thinking we are approaching St Patrick’s Day. The box is not Irish Potato candy and it is July, not March! Not long ago I might have assumed that I am losing it, but not now. My concept of space and time is fluid and as someone whose current life is less structured, there is less to demarcate these rather artificial signposts.

While I regret not being hired for the Grief services position, I have processed it and let it go. I have new hope for my future and will not be bogged down in victim consciousness. Most spiritual teachers postulate that as we evolve, all will fall away that is no longer working in our best interest, the highest good. This does beg the question, does that mean everything and everyone that remained in my life for an extensive time was for my highest good? I do not have an answer, but cannot remain stuck there. Life is very short and I do not want to get in my own way. I hope you will join me in really living in this new now.

images ~ public domain

Winter Review ~ I Can Hear Music

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Now that we are clearly into Summer in Eastern USA, with a wild heat wave in effect, I have decided to unpack my Winter. I am using Winter loosely, referring to late September through late March. With Mars and most of the other planets retrograde, I want to work with these energies and take a look deeper within.

I have been considering for weeks how exactly to approach writing about this topic. So many outside events triggered so much inner activity and I am still processing it. I decided to just follow my heart and take it step by step.

Feeling the fear: This is difficult to write about. And yet, this story has been waiting patiently to be heard and my readers deserve an explanation. If I had a nickel for every time I asked myself ” What would I do if my deepest fears were realized? “, I would have plenty of nickels! An event took place in September that rocked me to my core and was really a Godsend in disguise. Do any of you remember that I tool the blog private for a few weeks? Yes, I shut it all down and then simply declared I ‘m back.

Well now I will tell you what happened: I went on a second interview at the drug rehab facility and I was excited but nervous. I wanted this job, but lacked confidence that I was qualified. The woman who would be my immediate supervisor let me know that she googled me and read my blog. I thought ” How can this be? My name is not attached to it. ”  I was so shocked that it took me some time to compose myself. Scorpios like doing the hunting, not being the prey!  She wanted to know if I was planning on using Astrology as part of my therapy. Another person in the room said she would not want to see Astrology contained in the treatment plans. ” WTF? How stupid are these people and why are they asking these ridiculous questions? , I asked myself. ” What felt like an eternity later, I explained that Astrology has many merits and includes a means to explore personality, but that I am a Licensed professional and do not force my views on anyone. I revealed that if a client asked me about astrology that I would discuss it, but it does not drive my practice.

Clearly my answers were fine, because I was hired, but I was dumbfounded. I wrestled with putting my name on this blog and decided against it because my profession can be very conventional. I felt violated that this stranger was reading my blog and had access to so much personal information. Later I figured out how she landed here and I corrected the issue. Bottom line, sometimes what seems like the worst thing possible may just end up being incredibly awkward. I could never have predicted that she would ask me about astrology and was blindsided. I thought my hiring prospects were finished and I was wrong. Let me be clear, I am not ashamed of anything I write and most of my blogs are public. It is just that most people who visit litebeing chronicles are about the path. They are not looking for red flags. Anyway, I stopped writing for a while because I felt exposed, but eventually figured that my self-expression is way too important to be held hostage. You may wonder, what is the blessing? After some deliberation, I realized that I did survive it and the confrontation led to a positive outcome. I also realized that I judge myself more harshly than anyone else, and it was high time I let that go.

Have you ever felt concerned about who might read your musings?

How did you handle it?

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You’re on my mind like a song on the Radio: Many wild and woolly happenings occurred during my time working at the Rehab. My life seemed like I was living a dream while awake. Some events were enjoyable and others were unpleasant. Today I will share an in-between experience. Most readers know by now that the car radio serves as an oracle. So I tend to pay attention when patterns emerge while driving in my car. Three songs kept repeating and repeating and repeating.  All three are old and there was no logical explanation. They are not affiliated with the death of an artist, a sports franchise or a major holiday. I still hear them often now, expect maybe not with the same extreme frequency.

A few weeks into the job, the first song showed up. Cindy Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is a pop classic at this point. I liked it when it came out and it usually lifts my mood. While it is not unusual to hear it on the radio once or twice a month, I was hearing it several times a week. Sometimes I heard it every day. I mentioned it to my coworkers and they found it odd. I was even considering keeping a log just for my records.

Then a few weeks later the other two songs began to serenade me. They are very similar and also from the 1980s. They are associated with films and became rather popular for a few years. The frequency of the airplay was starting to get to me. On one occasion, one of the tunes was playing on 2 of my programmed stations at the same time. It was quite out of control. The songs are If You Leave and Don’t  You Forget About Me. They both are sung with yearning and sadness. They were referring to romance , but could also reflect the fear of feeling rejected or unimportant.

I was getting the impression that these songs were more than synchroncities, but rather premonitions. Perhaps I was given a heads up about the layoffs and my concerns about my patients after they left treatment. Clearly I was not having enough fun in my life, as it revolved around work, a brutal commute, and lots of bodywork appointments. But then again, there could be more to this , still left undiscovered. I strongly sense there is more to it, because the songs continue to play regularly.

Are there certain tunes you hear repeatedly on the radio ( playlists don’t apply.) ?

What meanings do they reveal to you?

I Don’t Have Words

Hey litebeings, I don’t have words, no not yet. I am still preparing my next post while processing my emotions and navigating this  “new now “.

Although  I have no words, I DO have something for you. While re-reading my post Could You Be  Loved?  , I was curious about the video I featured.  I remember how powerful the message was, but that was all I remembered. So on this void of course Scorpio Moon I re-viewed it again.

Damn, my mind is blown!

So if you are up for a little mind-blowing, check this out:

 

until we meet again, litebeing

Ascension~ The Gift That Keeps on Giving

wikipedia.org public domain

This will be brief and to the point – This ascension stuff is real! Every time I try to deny the increase in my abilities, I fall short. Ascension is not what I think it is, according to what I read and hear, but that does not mean that many of us are experiencing a shift in our day-to-day 3D lives.

The weird symptoms I am experiencing this week have had me confused and alarmed. Others I talk to have felt them too: dizziness, light-headedness, chest pain, rapid heart beat, and more.  Are they kundalini manifestations or something else? This has happened to me before, in the early 2000s and more recently from 2015 till now ( intermittently). I have had several EKGs and they have been normal. My doctor said he does not think it is my heart.  I do not want to dwell on my ordeal, but am wondering if you are getting these also? Email me if you do and we can compare notes.

By the way, if you are enjoying the recent series of orchid header images displayed here, they are photos I took last month at Longwood Gardens, one of my power places. I plan to post more when the time is right.

Here is today’s version of  ” Expect the unexpected” :

Today is the anniversary of my father’s death, the day before Spring Equinox. I have been more aware of my clients’ struggles with loss than my own lately and have not been focusing on this date. So I am driving today, running errands, feeling tired and weak from the dizziness, etc and I notice a truck right in front of me. The bumper sticker on both sides says DAD. I could not make this up!

My motto is, if I post it, then it happened. That is my reason for writing today, to share my ups and downs, even as I wonder why I have to struggle so much. I do feel strangely comforted to know my dad is watching over me, hopefully from a more enlightened realm. The relationship was complicated and apparently still is. And yet, there is a point where all that is messy becomes blessed. Do you agree? Please reply because ~

I am listening….

 

image credit: wikipedia.org, public domain

Be Your Best

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As the world around us continues to spiral in unpredictable directions, what is a lightworker to do?

The solution is simple: be your best. What does best mean? Do what you can at any given moment and love yourself through it all. Love yourself when you lose your temper, make a mistake, or think unkind thoughts. Love yourself as you send light to a stranger, practice acts of random kindness, or elicit a smile in another.

Living on Earth has never been easy according to recorded and anecdotal history. Incarnating into human form is quite the experiment and the times we are entering are challenging and often daunting. But miracles and blessings abound in every heart and at every pass.

I enjoy the show Nashville and this season is one of my favorites. The emphasis is on character driven plots and the music making process. Country and bluegrass tunes are loaded with emotion, particularly tenderness and pain. So much beauty is distilled, resonating deeply in my soul. You just have to listen intently and it is all laid out there.

This tune has followed me since I first heard it on the season premiere. The Stella sisters resemble my nieces and are around the same age. Their voices are full of hope and promise.  Maybe it will delight and motivate you to live with love and purpose. The younger generations are counting on us to be our best so that they can inherit a New Earth.

Fare thee well 2014

Since it is Mercury retrograde, I happily re-blog a New Year’s Eve post from 2 years ago. I will probably create some new content over the next day or so, but please allow me to take this time to say Thank You for your loyalty and community. Blessings for 2017, a 1 year bursting with promise, possibility, and renewal.

Namaste, litebeing

litebeing chronicles

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It has been a very intense and overwhelming time for me lately. I have so many unanswered questions, loose ends, and unfinished business that will remain a mystery as this year closes. While I typically do not view the end of the calendar year as an accurate time to usher in new beginnings, years of cultural conditioning orient me to use this window to clear out what no longer is needed. We cannot totally eliminate our 3D cultural orientation while in a body, or can we??

As I walked outside tonight to take out the trash, I looked all around and prayed fervently for a sign to guide me. No creatures were in sight, yet..

As I approached my front door, one by one all the light fixtures at the apartment complex began to turn on. My prayer was answered! It is all about the light.

I call this blog 

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Transcending the Mundane

Readers who have been following my life know there are many ups, downs, spirals, and paradoxes. And that’s just this week! As we enter the next important lunation, tomorrow’s full moon at 22 degrees Gemini ( less than 1 degree away from my own Gemini Moon), I am picking up the pieces left over from the upheaval of the past few days. My vacation seems like a distant memory now, while current events leave me overstimulated, depressed, and bored. This full moon has many interesting twists: Sun conjunct Saturn opposes it, Chiron squares it, Jupiter trines it ( while sextiling Sun Saturn) and Ceres conjunct Uranus sextiles it ( while making a trine to Sun Saturn.) We could call it a mixed bag, but didn’t I say that already?

To be a bit more specific, look for chances to integrate philosophical or foreign structures, use inspiration to ground rather than scatter, nurture your-Self unconventionally and collectively, and teach what you must learn via creative pursuits, meditation/prayer, and dream-work.

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Now, about that dream-work…

I have not been  actively pursuing dream revelations of late, because I feel the need for relief from stimuli. I actually would relish multiple nights of dream-less sleep ( as others have shared online recently). But some significant nocturnal experiences have graced my life despite any otherwise set intentions. Last night was quite rare, a semi-lucid OBE ? aka astral projection journey. I add the question mark because this was different from my occasional OBE. Let me explain: on a few rare occasions I have recalled floating around my home, heading towards the ceiling , leaving my body behind. I was semi-lucid, meaning I had some awareness of my state, but less of an ability to transform the dreamscape, as is the case with lucid dreaming. I have had many more lucid dreams than astral travel journeys, so my understanding is limited.

Last night in the middle of what seemed to be a dream sequence, I get out of bed and begin to walk around. My home is not mine, however and I start flying all about this strange residence. It is filled with a large family. I float from room to room and observe the decor. The home has many rooms, all casually furnished with plenty of books. One room has dark green walls and a dark hued couch. There is some residue from spending last night watching a phenomenal film, Captain Fantastic. I highly recommend this story starring the enigmatic Viggo Mortensen about an unconventional family that lives off the grid .

I watch a man and woman, presumably the couple, arguing and children playing and running wildly as I survey from above. Next I look at the woman and she screams, but no one interacts with me. I ask myself ” Am I a ghost? ” This is why I believe this was astral, rather than a lucid dream. When I have astral projected before, there was no communication between myself and any “characters” that I encounter.

wikiart.org public domain

Can anyone offer any feedback with regard to this dream-time escapade? Is it astral projection or something else? Please add your 2 cents in the comment section. Many of you regularly travel various realms and I welcome your input. I was glad to fly around awhile and transcend the losses and disappointments of the last few days, if even for a few minutes. My experience definitely fits in with the Gem/Sag energies,  freely flying (Sag) around a house filled with books and plenty of discourse between its inhabitants. ( Gem).

While we all live in challenging times with plenty of uncertainty, there are sparks of possibility and novelty in the air. May we all fly above the fray by transforming and transcending any and all fears and limitations.

Happy full moon litebeings!

 

 

image credits : header by wikipedia.org public domain and other images by wikiart.org, public domain

Fifteen Reminders To Help You Make It Through The ‘Holidaze’

This is such a great post about supporting us proudly weird, strongly attuned empaths/lightworkers/INFJ or INFP types during the holidaze. With the exception of the “sinfully sensitive” description (maybe it’s meant to be tongue in cheek), I wish I had written it myself.

Thank you Paula for all you do in your practice and online here at WP.

Your Rainforest Mind

photo courtesy of Jim Lukach, Flickr, CC photo courtesy of Jim Lukach, Flickr, CC

(This post was first published on intergifted, a great site for gifted adults.)

1  You’re not too sensitive if you’re easily overwhelmed by the holiday muzak, the florescent lights, the crowds, the frenetic meaningless pace, the likely psychopathic Santa and the smell of stale popcorn at the shopping mall.

2  You’re not a failure as a human being if your siblings went to Stanford and are all doctors and have two and a half kids and you’re still wondering what to do when you grow up because you took a detour into drug treatment and psychotherapy because your soft heart and gentle spirit needed to heal.

3  You’re not lacking in empathy if you’re frustrated and irritated, well, OK, enraged by society’s focus on the status of having more and more stuff, the bigger the better, while they’re oblivious…

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I Just Have To Tell You

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I just have to tell you… ( in no particular order),

I miss you

I passed my three-month probationary period at work

 

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Many stories about magical flurries occupy my head

and my heart

WordPress is not cooperating today ( damn Mercury retrograde, tehe)

 

Last week I suffered a concussion

Today I drew the 2 of pentacles, yet again

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She was upside down, and while I am still new to this deck,

I acknowledged the message to take things just one at a time, and slooooooooooooooow down.

Please think of me and send healing energy as I continue to juggle and bounce back as best as I can.

Namaste