Anyone remember my Blog Story page which was written to accompany the My Story page? Here is a quote from the first paragraph :
So as I go about my day, I ask the Source, God, the Divine, the quantum field, the Universe etc.. to help me see the light. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it works but I’m off my game.
Well, I have been off my game, BIG TIME! I do not like to blame transits or eclipses or really anything for my emotional tirades or crummy coping skills. I really am more interested in focusing on my reactions and accepting whatever shows up in my day-to-day life. However, I have had a real rough time with my laptop, health issues, and miscommunications with others. I have reacted in a less than stellar fashion. My natural Scorpionic tendencies have been in full force and it has been quite dark and un litebeing-like.
Now Saturn is approaching my Sun. I wrote about this when introducing the Cosmic Retrograde Challenge. I am really feeling the strength of this energy now and it is testing my patience , focus, determination, and demeanor. I am not naturally exuberant dear readers, I work at it! And sometimes I am just plain cranky! I am working on finding a more effective way to manage the stress and the persistent doubts. It is within reach and I know I will eventually bounce back. This is what I do ~ I was made resilient and I am incredibly grateful. Otherwise I may not still be here.
You may wonder why I am discussing this here. One reason is that writing has been my salvation, especially since starting this blog. My soul feels lighter as I type each letter, word, and phrase. Another reason is my commitment to all of you! I want you to realize that everyone has their off cycles, despite all the yoga, meditation, support, healthy diet, and prayer. I am a spiritual being having a human experience, not the other way around! Having an ordinary body and a brain that uses only a minute percentage of its potential capacity is like trying to write a masterpiece on a laptop that freezes at will and lacks the latest software ( like what I am using now!). I wonder what it would be like if I could have a pure unadulterated spiritual experience in human form. I don’t mean a short-lived mystical awakening but decades of being in my body immersed in the less dense, higher vibrational worlds.
Have any of you been able to sustain this state of bliss?
Bottom line, it is critical that I present myself on these pages as transparent and vulnerable as possible. I cannot teach and inspire if I hide my uncertainties and trials. So there will be times when pain, fear, sadness , disappointment and frustration reside here, along with joy, hope, magic, excitement and glee. Some of my favorite writers pour themselves onto the pages and invite me to drink the bitter liquid to better appreciate its power. Showing more of my range as a person allows me to paint a more nuanced picture with my words.
Announcements: I have some drafts pending that I am eager to share soon. There is a dream sampler that is quite exciting, along with my alchemical experiment with sugilite for the Cosmic Retrograde Challenge. I also am planning a top-secret post about the power of music plus some other surprises! Stay tuned…
Update: I have often referred to the music of Billy Joel to illustrate a particular theme or message. His melodies and lyrics are very soulful and sometimes catch me off guard with their tenderness, wisdom, and clarity. I wanted to include She’s Always A Woman on my last post, but it did not make it on the final version. I strongly sense that he understands the essence of a Scorpio woman. I did some research on his wives and discovered he married a Virgo and an Aquarius. Their charts ( no birth time) did not reveal many Scorpion characteristics. I could not get any data about his first wife though. It has been publicized that this song was written about her! When I first heard it I really thought it could have been written by someone who was romantically involved with me.
Do you think it is Scorpio – worthy? Let me know your opinion.
butterfly image courtesy of wikimedia.org public domain
17 comments on “Litebeing heading towards the dark side ?”
Dear Linda… the human experience is certainly challenging and wonderful as we flow with it… especially at the moment, as our old world is falling down around us… shaking us all into the core of ourself… to make us consciously choose and allow our next move… (IAM writing this with a painful back… too much stress brought on by my own angry words i keep repeating about a family situation… My body telling me NOW to just accept it all and let it go…) Take care, Barbara x
You are quite wise Barbara. Living a conscious life is ideal yet can be quite arduous at times ( like now)
hope your back heals quickly and I appreciate your support.
Oh Linda! On one hand I’m glad I came across your post when I did (playing catch up again)…on the other hand I feel crummy because it’s coming later than it should specially when you’ve opened up to the times when well…what I call the “wonky time”.
May your health issues be transmuted soon as with your laptop! As for the wonky period…oh I’ve been there..it’s all there in My Journey page…I actually realized some time ago that I only ever write in it when I am feeling disheartened, angry and throwing a pity party for myself!
I’m so glad you decided to share because I am taking with it a big lesson. It’s huge because it’s so true. If I want my blog to be a place to help someone, to touch just one person…then I too should be open…and write about things and periods that show me for who I am…like you said….all the experiences of being human. So thank you 🙂
Sending you *big big big hugs* and thank you for taking time to comment on my blog even though feeling wonky 🙂
Can’t wait for the posts you’ve planned! Got a little worried…I usually do my catch up from the top of the reader and scroll down…and after some time I realized there were no posts from YOU! Aargh! Did a quick scroll down and found this…phew!
Very happy you found this post and your kind commentary. I want this blog to inspire as well as entertain. We never know who we reach when we communicate and I am becoming more aware of this through blogging. I am pleased you got something significant from reading about my struggles.
big big big hugs,
The song is fantastic, I love it. Your good luck charm is here with you, I am here because of you! Do you understand that I am impossible without your previous experience :-)? Your being is truly light and Important.
Who am I? I was born at September, 21, Virgo or Libra?
Glad you like the song, I think it is very special, as are you my friend!
Linda, we each have our dual selves, the Light and the Dark are within each of us, and I agree with you, Sometimes we just have to allow ourselves to be that which we are feeling, And some times I can get darn angry at the world for its stupidity or down right selfishness, And at times I catch myself doing those self same things of being selfish…
I have never met anyone who is perfect, and if we were I doubt we would be stuck in this incarnation on earth still learning the lessons to move us up a notch in the Light Circuit.. 🙂
Speaking of Circles ~Cycles do come around and I have found roughly every 7 yrs has been a major life changing event around me…
The Retrograde Challenge I am writing on a draft my experiences daily, but promise to condense it LOL for a post, But to share a little with you when this planetary phase last came around it was apparently in 1994 and i read a post forget now where, that asked us what sort of events do we remember from that time period… I thought back to my starting a new job in 95 April after my breakdown and I counted backwards of 6 months because That was the time I had off work … the reason being I had a Nervous breakdown in October 94 and subsequently changed my employer,So… this challenge is unearthing some interesting things…
Breath Deep my friend, and go with the flow…
Love and Light
The more we communicate the more I begin to understand our lovely connection! You are correct that with eclipses cycles, there is a repeat once every 19 years. With Saturn transits, the repeat is about 291/2 – 30 years. I have examined where I was in 94 and in 1984 when Saturn last touched my sun.
I was in graduate school both times actually! I am not in any formal school presently, but I am reconfiguring and digesting some of what I learned then with where I stand today.
I am so eager to hear about your experiences from the challenge. If it brought up pain for you I truly hope you will be able to transmit it into spiritual gold!
thanks for your kindness!
I love the honesty of You in this post, we are all yin-Yang… how else would we learn & grow?
I have my bad days and I can see/hear myself doing it but I can’t stop it. But then we can look back and reflect, and learn a little more about ourselves…
And yes, I think the Scorpio nature can have a particularly nasty ‘sting’ to it when things don’t go our way 😉
Never apologise for being you… even Buddha walked ‘the middle path’… even Buddha almost gave up, before he took one last attempt and sat down under the Bodhi tree…
tough act to follow! xx
thanks Heidi, I am not apologizing, just explaining where I am and that the path can be arduous and confusing. I would never apologize for being me and hope no one else would apologize for their essence.
I loved your vulnerability and openness. We all go through stuff and I don’t know what astrology says, but my spiritual teachers used to say the ebb of our biorhythms dip to a low prior to our birthdays and is its highest after? Love you girl and that was some good writing. You are always a good writer but this was even better.
thanks Sindy! If you enjoyed this, then take a peak at my multilayered Scorpio post
Will do Girl~ Rushing around at the moment. I will do it later. Love on this All Hallow’s Eve!
Even butterflies have bad days. And they are so scorpio-like…death, rebirth, transformation… 🙂
Just keep fluttering! >l<
flutter flutter 🙂
I have to be honest: I do not understand this censorship of feelings people do – dividing them into worthy and unworthy ones, good or bad, etc. I say, own your anger! Perhaps it is righteous, perhaps it will fuel you towards something great. I have yet to meet a light Scorpio. Perhaps you are meant to be dark and heavy for some time…
I really respect your honesty Monika. I have never met a light one either. And as a therapist, I am all for owning feelings. It is just that my last post surprised me as it morphed from a feel good piece to one with a rather dark and morbid cast. Because I understand the pain of life so deeply is why I chose the theme of light for this blog. And I am passionate about continuity being maintained.