A House is Not a Home

Thanks to the magic of Google maps, I do not have to take a new image to show my childhood home. I lived here from the end of 6th grade through junior year of college. The house was white with light blue trim originally but my parents decided on a chocolate brown upgrade.

I recently learned that my mother sold our house to move into an older adult apartment community, aka retirement place where people go to die community. I know this is strong language, but I am speaking my truth. She has wanted to sell even before my dad died, over 10 years ago. I do not know if I will get the chance to see it in-person one last time before she vacates.

Here’s the thing: I spent most of my childhood in various apartments in four states from birth to age 11. I had 4 homes from 2nd through 6th grade, including going to two different schools in separate states for both 5th and 6th grades. Why my parents could not wait for the summer to move says way more about how I was parented then anything else. My moon in Gemini in the fourth house would speak to the frequent disruptions, but damn, my dad was not in the military!

This ordinary suburban split level structure was filled with drama, kind of like Game of Thrones, but without the dragons or intriguing character arcs. It contained plenty of power plays, betrayals, and arguments. I would not call it a happy home. But a house is not a home.

I have not as of yet lived in a house as an adult. My homes have all been apartments. While my current home is fine, it is small and a bit crowded with stuff because of insufficient storage space. Maybe this is partly why I am having some difficulty letting my old house go. This is a place, mind you, that I rarely visited once I moved away. I could not wait to get out of there and told myself I would not return. My sister did live there a few years after college, but I did not.

The therapist part of me knows that I still want to ” reclaim my childhood” before letting go of the house. I have done as much inner work as I can on this. When I consider the fond memories, they are overshadowed by darkness, with one exception.

That would be the music.

My mom plays piano well and this gift was passed down from her father who learned by ear. I don’t know how he was exposed to the piano, but he did play in the silent movie theaters, so I am told. The house was warm with emotion when my mom sang and played on many an evening. She lit up completely while playing. I believe she was born to play. She says the piano is going with her to the new place.

Google maps has made it possible for me to move on even if I cannot find time for a visit before the place is packed up or occupied by the new residents. I hope they make it a house filled with love. When or if they have children ( it is a young couple), I pray they figure out how to parent them well, or well enough. Maybe then they won’t all grow up to be therapists and heal others as a way to address their unhealed parts.

I am afraid this post is coming off rather bitter, but this is not my intention. I am still figuring out why I am bothered so much by this event. I can understand why my mother wants to live among people her age and have activities and transportation at her disposal. All I know is that I feel sad and a bit confused.

I am well aware that home is inside me, at the seat of my soul. A house is a structure made up of matter, which is not solid. I don’t remember my family being that messed up until we moved in. Perhaps it had to do with my parents’ entrance into middle age and the state of the marriage. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I will continue living life the best I know how, with faith that I can find joy and peace within. And some sweet music wouldn’t hurt either.

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Catching Up

Greetings litebeings! It has been a good stretch since I posted anything, especially anything new. I have been working on balancing my life, and practicing self-care to increase my inner resilience. I am also working on  a guest post that is rather intense. I hope everyone out there is enjoying the change of season. It is an exceptionally rainy May in my neck of the woods.

Speaking of woods, here are a few photos from my latest trip to Longwood Gardens:


I have been re-vitalizing my meditation practice with a different type of breathing and adding chanting back to the mix. I recently learned that an extended exhale and the act of chanting help relax the vagus nerve, which plays a role in heart rate and digestion. I am also enjoying select lectures from the Hay House Summit, which is happening right now. I enjoyed an interview with Esther Hicks and a video featuring Caroline Myss. Check it out and discover an array of material on all things metaphysical.

Finally, I want to extend a Happy Mother’s Day to all who love and nurture others. Ceres the grain goddess is also a very maternal figure and while I do not have children, my prominent Ceres makes me an Earth Mother of sorts, particularly to those of the feline persuasion. Let’s honor those who extend affection, protection, and care to those in need to foster their development and well -being.

Even when I am away, my thoughts and energy are always with my readers, followers, fellow writers and all that connect with me at litebeing chronicles.

Namaste, litebeing

 

Make Earth Great Again ~ Earth Day 2019

Here is the version I meant to publish, but you can never have enough tributes to Gaia!

I adore Bill Maher and borrowed his tagline from last night’s New Rules segment as the title for this post. I do not think that Earth is not already great, but I do think it urgently needs extreme nurturing and collective respect. Sometimes a catchy slogan makes a difference. It did in the US presidential campaign.

While Bill’s rant is a bit satirical, he is a passionate environmentalist who often features activist scientists on his show. Check out this video and leave me your comments below:

Happy Earth Day!

image credits ~ litebeing chronicles © 2019

Alleluia, and Good Morning

This blog says so eloquently what I have felt for many years. Blessings on this weekend that celebrates the portal to rebirth and re-newal.

innerwoven

Resurrection.jpgToday is, for many, a day without irony. It is a day one can see not just daylight through cracks in tomb doors, but can look back into what was their tomb from the satisfying light of a new dawn.

These patterns of light and dark, day and night, life and death happen so regularly that they’re almost not worth mentioning. Except, they are.

The ancients call it Paschal Mystery. A repeating pattern of living and dying and renewing that, through the eternal Christ, is everywhere present, everywhere accessible.

Faith is merely the God-given sight necessary to awaken to it. And Easter is the primal, archetypal key that opens that door.

Today is Easter. Resurrection. All that was dark, dead, hopeless, and not, is brought back into glorious harmony with God and the cosmos. Through Christ, today, we feel its warmth. Today, we know its hope.

Today is for all…

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Finally!

Finally

Spring has come to my corner of Gaia,

After such a looooong sabbatical,

Blessing me with the manifestation of nature’s promise,

Glorious rapture of energy birthed into form

The wait was excruciating since last Spring,

When my cellphone photos were frozen in time,

Unwilling to allow me to share the blooms with you,

Until now a year later courtesy of Samsung and ATT

Just like magic, my health is re-bounding well,

After 2 months of physical hell

Rashes, viruses, and colon woes no more,

Freedom from bondage in this moment is pure

Do you see Beauty wherever you move?

Are your eyes opened or stuck in a sad groove?

Breathe gently with me and hear your heartbeat

Accept the sour and savor the sweet

My words don’t always rhyme

And life happens in its own time

Regardless of ego’s plans

Or outbursts and rants

You do what you can

And accept what you can’t

( until perhaps at some future timeline, you CAN)

I did not label this post as poetry, but I eked out some phrases in semi-rhythmic beats to convey my pleasure with seemingly forward movement. Winter 2019 was a spell of  “eternal stagnation, endless lifelessness and boundless misery “.

I spent just a few minutes outside today walking around my ‘hood snapping everything Springy in the midst of ferocious traffic and frenetic activity that seems odd for a Sunday afternoon. The weather was phenomenal and it felt great to bask in the beauty of this ephemeral season.

Grace is in the house!

Two Cool announcements:

 1 Please consider guest blogging for the Seeker’s Dungeon site headed by Sreejit. The topic is From Darkness to Light, one of my fav themes, and the vibe is wonderful over at Sreejit’s place. Check out the link https://theseekersdungeon.com/2019/04/05/spread-the-word-guest-bloggers-wanted/ and join the party for some deep soul-stirring stories and inspirational bonding with like-minded creative spirits.

2 While you are grooving to this Aries energy and planning your guest post, why not hop over tomorrow to the free Ancestral Healing summit over at The Shift Network? There are many great healers and teachers involved in this online event , such as Heather Dane , Sandra Ingerman and Gregg Braden. I am certainly intrigued about this topic and look forward to some awesome programming. Visit https://ancestralhealingsummit.com/ for the details.

Poetry – Grace Everpresent

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Where is Grace?

Grace is realizing the car keys are in your other pocket

Grace is when the cop gives you a warning this time

Grace is when the red birds descend on your terrace ” just because”

Grace is when you discover your checkbook error

that you subtracted one hundred dollars by mistake

Grace is when the sky opens and the sun tells the clouds to get lost for a spell

Grace is the neighbor’s cat who snuggles with you after yours has passed away

Grace is the stranger who helps you pick up your groceries off the floor

Grace is the MRI that reveals you don’t have that illness after all

Grace is accepting what is and surviving with renewed hope

Grace is a whole heart after a lifetime of shatters and scars

Grace is a million new beginnings

Grace is finding love way past your prime

Grace is everpresent

© litebeing chronicles 2013

update:

I wrote this poem , or rather this poem wrote me, from a place filled with a mixture of despair, emptiness, hope, and gratitude. Your response has been wonderful and I thank you.  My poetry has always been fueled by intense emotion and manifests only when it is good and ready. Stay tuned for new arrivals in future posts.

 

bird image courtesy of freerangestock.com
header image by © litebeing chronicles 2013

http://freerangestock.com/

Circles, Cycles and More ~ My Romance with Astrology

Happy International Astrology , Full Libra Moon and Spring Equinox! ( Autumn in the Southern Hemisphere 😀 )

public domain wikiart

Here we are, about to bid goodbye to Scorpio once more. While I feel the most ” like me ” at this time, the Saturn influence has made this past month at times bittersweet and often cruel or painful. But I am still convinced that we all are loved at every moment.

So I am going to tell you a unique love story. It is the romantic tale between Astrology and me. Thank you to the reader who inquired if I blogged on my astrological beginnings. Your inquiry helped me realize that I have only briefly mentioned those early awakenings. Since now is such a great time to pontificate on all 8th house matters, I am capitalizing on the current energy ( 4 Scorpio placements: Sun, Moon ,Mercury and Saturn) by sharing my love affair tonight.

 The Age of Aquarius, sorta

It was the 1960s in middle class America. I was a precocious , shy child ; quite insecure and fearful. I considered myself imperfect and I lived it. My world was not safe and I only had myself to rely on. At least that is how I felt.  But in second grade one of my teachers took an interest in me. She made me feel special and important. I mattered and it felt wonderful. We had a homework assignment and my project was to construct a solar system mobile out of papier-mache. I vaguely recall my teacher helping me assemble all the planets. They were beautiful. I loved the different shapes and colors contained in this model. Around the same time I became very excited about the space program and loved looking upward at the stars. I was so curious about what it was like to travel in space. Part of me sailed with the astronauts on every televised mission. My imagination knew no limits. What child doesn’t enjoy gazing into the vastness of the diamond sky?

I recently asked my mother if she knew who or what influenced my attraction to astrology. Unfortunately, she was not able to reveal anything. Most astrologers credit a mentor or other significant adult who introduced them to the practice early on. Or perhaps one originates from a long lineage of astrologers. I really had no one like that in my life.  I am aware, though, that astrology was quite popular in a very simplistic way while growing up. The occult vibe was always in the air. Ouija boards ( which scared me actually), magicians, the ” What’s your sign? ” pick up line, magic 8 ball, etc., were grist for the mill. I recently came upon an old Patty Duke Show episode on astrology, where she and her twin cousin pose as astrologers/ fortune tellers to raise money. The plot was so corny, but there was some actual astrological content in the episode. When she told her brother that she found all these astrological posters and books in the library, I cracked up with laughter. Maybe in Hollywood, California, but certainly not where I lived! I watched the show as a child and still remember its catchy theme song . Patty Duke portraying identical cousins was the theme, such a Gemini premise!

I could not find this particular episode on YouTube, but here is a short clip featuring the theme song, in classic black and white.   Patty Duke Show

Planets and hippies and slinkys, oh my! 

I still do not know exactly how I made the leap, but in second grade I began exploring the sun signs. As a child, I also met a woman ( hippie type) on vacation who shared some knowledge with me, This is a faint memory, but still a piece of the puzzle. My parents brought me back a coffee- table astrology book from their trip to Chicago. It was way over my head , but it increased my knowledge. I still have it to this day and take a peek once in a while. Being a visual person, the symbols fascinated me. I am also enchanted with circles. Check out my blog and you will see an abundance of circular imagery.  Any round or spiral like shape still reels me in. Whether collecting seashells on the beach or playing with Spirograph wheels , the 8 ball, or Slinkys, I was in my element, pun intended!  Even my parent’s dishes were full of fancy. I took some of them with me when I moved out of their house. Behold the hacienda pattern:

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Even my meals are mandala inspired.

 

So we take a sensitive lonely child who happens to have a strong Scorpio/ Uranus, 9th house signature and expose her to pop occult culture in 1960s America. Presto, she is transformed? Well, maybe not on the surface.  I suppose that’s all it took to get the ball rolling, because I was counseling pre-adolescent girls on zodiac sign relationship compatibility by the time I hit 6th grade! The predictive aspect of interpreting patterns also appealed to someone who was frequently uprooted through childhood. Cultivating some sense of control helped me cope with a very unpredictable upbringing. Both my interest in astrology and counseling developed as a way to attempt to heal myself.

Keep in mind that this is a world before major bookstores or the internet. It is still amazing to me that my environment created just enough of a spark to get me hooked. There also seems to be a sacred geometry factor here too with my interest in seashells and all things circular. Did I mention globes and kaleidoscopes? To learn more about my kaleidoscopic journey, check out my about page.

 

 The incredible beauty of an astrological chart, be still my heart.

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A little help from my friends

I read whatever was available on astrology and the metaphysical ( numerology, altered states of consciousness, etc)  in high school and college. There were few choices of substance, but I applied what I read out in the real world.  Then I met a real astrologer at my sister’s 16th birthday party. She provided all the guests with their very own solar chart. I was so excited! At this point I also became obsessed with psychics and tarot card readings. I would travel to Philadelphia with friends to get readings.  A few years later my boyfriend taught me how to interpret houses and aspects. In no time, I was further down the rabbit hole. More books were available, especially once I moved to Philly. As my horizons expanded, resources began to materialize, little by little. It was not until my twenties, however, that I began to really come into my own. By ” chance “, a few professional astrologers joined my social circle. At that point I was invited to monthly lectures and bought my first ephemeris. I learned to calculate a chart by hand! I took a few intro classes at a local community college and was a fixture at the local astrological society. The other attendees were my people. We spoke the same language and saw the world similarly. What a revelation after all this time. I was the newbie and certainly among the youngest in the group. But I was embraced and nurtured by these “elders” of the tribe.  A few of these folks remain in my life, for which I am grateful.

Before long, I was casting charts for everyone and anyone. Once I got over my fear of computers, a supervisor at work taught me how to use his basic program. My mind was blown that one could enter some data and generate a chart! I was so finished with the painstakingly slow process of mathematical calculations. This was a game changer and I am so glad I faced my fear of computers. In order to survive in our techno- crazy world, I would have had to do so eventually.

 

wikipedia public domain

The love affair continues

While my seeker personality has taken me all over the place in the quest for truth, my loyalty to astrology remains. While I don’t clearly understand why it works and struggle with this issue, especially when it is directed at me by a client, it just works. I take comfort in the fact that this practice predates the scientific study of astronomy and is used by most cultures around the world.

Why do I love it so? Words do not come easily here, but I will do my best to explain. There is the artistry that never fails to enthrall me. The psychological and spiritual knowledge that astrology can reveal brings clarity and peace to so many. This gift fulfills me so much as a professional ” helper”. The symbolism combined with reverence for the natural world resonate with me on a primal level. Experiencing the energies personally is incredible; a cosmic roller-coaster ride.

Inside my head

I will end this article by allowing my readers ( especially the non-astrologically minded) to take a brief glimpse inside my head. Astrologers approach life very differently from the rest of the world. When one is aware of the hourly, daily, weekly, etc. rhythms of the moon and other planetary bodies, you see the world in a unique way. For example, I plan social activities, business meetings, important phone calls, medical appointments and most travel according to transits. No job interview on a void of course moon.  Avoid a difficult conversation when the moon is conjunct mars. No car shopping while Mercury is retrograde. Delay the casino trip when Jupiter is squaring Neptune. Meet a new guy, find out his birthday! Saturn transiting the 8th house, be careful with credit cards. Pluto transiting the 6th house , don’t aggravate your supervisor. Welcome to my world, where I choose when to be spontaneous ( that is supposed to be funny, but perhaps ironic is more appropriate).

While not all astrologers make decisions as I do, most are regularly aware of planetary movements and how they can influence our lives. I often wonder how most people navigate life without an ephemeris (  a table of the assigned places of a celestial body for regular intervals ). But then again, I still encounter all kinds of obstacles, just like everyone else.  I am grateful though that I have some awesome tools at my disposal that help me serve others and enchant me in the process. I am never bored and always captivated.

Talk about romance!

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To learn how astrology can make a positive difference in your life: please contact me here. The holiday season is a great time to treat yourself, or a loved one, to a reading.

related post:

https://litebeing.com/2013/02/02/happy-february-why-astrology-works-a-biased-view/

image credits:

header by http://freerangestock.com/

planetary art courtesy of wikiart.org, public domain

solar system courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

 

Speaking What Is In My Heart.

Many of my readers also follow my dear friend Sue’s blog, but I am re-blogging her most recent post because I want as many folks as possible to receive her message and the energy behind it. Sue is such a blessing and her words and images are evocative and enlightening.

love, litebeing

Dreamwalker's Sanctuary

It is hard sometimes to speak what is on your mind, when there are no words to express what you feel. So I will just let my fingers do the talking as I allow my thoughts to flow freely.

At times it takes courage to pick up your Arrow of Truth, and speak it. But Time is running short!

Gaia is going through her own changes. She is causing many disruptions which are making us rethink, reshape and make huge life changes. Which in turn may bring uncertainties and fear, but many now are also sensing an urgency, to move, relocate, leave their unsatisfactory jobs or life styles. Or change the habits of a life time.

Or like me, you may just feel that need to escape into your own world, of peace and tranquillity as we reconnect deeper still within ourselves and our Earth Mother.

What we are witnessing…

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Spring Awakening Part II ~ Embrace Nature’s Splendor

Happy Mercury Retro in Pisces, Pisces New Moon and Uranus entering Taurus (the sequel). This reblog is about spring and here we are on the cusp of spring almost 1 year later!
Reblogs are de riguer during retro cycles so here is one to tide you over until I produce some new posts! This is a huge week so take some deep breaths and enjoy the ride!

litebeing chronicles

Not everyone is made aware of the beginning of a new cycle or season. Although Uranus is my ruling planet, I do not always notice a personal shift when it enters a new sign. This time I did observe a small but important event that announced this major transit. When Uranus first entered Aries, I bought a new cellphone and it had a camera. I used it to take pictures for this blog ( see photo above). A few weeks ago this old phone started buzzing when I turned it on. Sometimes it did not turn on at all. So after seven years I replaced my trusty blue not-so smart phone ( see photo below).

With many reservations, I opted for a smart phone. While I do not want to be a slave to conformity, I relished the notion of a higher quality camera.  I still keep the phone off…

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