Transparently Yours

Life requires courage, only the bold can continue to breathe in and breathe out. Existence on planet Earth, not for the faint of heart. Walking the path is the hero’s journey only. Cowards need not apply here. Fear is never far away, only a nuanced, inkling separates the being from the trap of despair.

Nature has its own secrets, only for the properly initiated. The rest of us counts the seconds, minutes, hours, between the first squeal and the final gasp. Linear time is a game that is tempting at first glance. And yet, the only way out is to quit playing.

The ocean is no joke. Either you learn to ride the waves or the waves ride you. Power is the ability to influence and Gaia’s a powerful mistress. Obey the silent cry within, never stray far from your truth, your core. Otherwise you may find your essence scattered into the center of a salt crystal, where no-thing can hear you cry.

How can you tell the direction of the fates? The sky can fool the best of them with its wily ways. Clouds are shape-shifters and the sun can play hide and seek like a crack-addicted rabbit with ADHD. If you don’t believe this, go follow Uranus on a cantankerous Leo day and report back with all the details.

wikiart.org pub domain

What can a simple soul do when she feels the breeze but her heart no longer feels the relief it delivers? Is there solace to discover? Are the winds of change a blessing or a flukey hoax? Where does the joy go when no one can dance with her in an instant? Does she linger in the shadows, waiting for time and space to dissolve? Perhaps joy’s promise can raise the shadows to meet the heart on its own terms.

images by Henry Ossawa Tanner, courtesy of wikiart.org, public domain

How Am I Doing? Part 1

Hello dear litebeings,
I realize I have been rarely blogging these past few months. I feel very depressed and may need to find a new home and a new job to pay for it. I feel like every time I try to make a move in any direction, it gets derailed or sabotaged. I don’t even feel like blogging now, which is not really like me. The song in this re-blog came to mind today as a strong representation of my situation. Then I remembered that I already used it here. Back then I was confused and overwhelmed by some spiritual, philosophical ideas about existence.  Currently I feel sad and powerless over 3D human life. My depression is not clinical, mostly situational and I pray that it will lift soon. It all ties back to losing that glove in the post Glove Story . I have not been myself ( whatever that is ) since.

Please keep me in your prayers. When I am ready, I will be back with new material. I am committed to my writing, which often is my saving grace. I love all of you in my WP family, but I do not have the energy to write. Rather than comment, I prefer you email me if you want to reach out. blessings, Linda

litebeing chronicles

I realize that most of my recent posts have been about art or reblogs ( of my work or fellow bloggers). With the exception of the March Madness post, I have been rather quiet.

I have really been struggling. So much so, that while the blog ideas arrive fast and furious, my ability to digest and integrate the material has been compromised. So I have decided to write smallish posts for now.  My goal is to share my story in manageable, bite size nuggets until I am able to produce more lengthy material.

I do want to thank those who have prayed for me, sent me love, good vibes, light, etc. Please keep it coming. Some of it must have reached me because my physical health has shown some improvement. The symptoms are less harsh and less frequent. Thank you.

Music has always offered me solace. I cannot recall a…

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Petapalooza

7-12-17 UPDATE: Guess what arrives in the mail, last night, the eve of the 2 year anniversary of Dexter’s death? A huge envelope from the SPCA. I open it up to discover a 2018 calendar featuring photos of cats and dogs. I have never received a calendar from them before, in all the years I have been affiliated with them. And look at the timing? hmmmmm…

I love you Dexter ❤

On Thursday or Friday I heard something on the radio about a Petapalooza in my neighborhood. My intuition told me this whisper was a possible summons. I like the name Petapalooza and was curious. I “heard” it was yesterday and noticed nothing was happening in the area. That is because it was scheduled for today!

Friday evening before bed I sensed Dexter asleep in his bed. Almost instantly I realized this could not be. Yet I gave myself permission to allow this idea to express itself. While asleep I dreamed about animals. Both a dog and a cat ran to me like babies missing their momma. When I hugged the cat, I felt the embrace of completeness. The cat felt like Dexter, but the body was ice-cold. I remarked about this coldness to someone in the dream. There was also a patch of purple fabric on the cat’s body. I did not analyze the dream, but figure Dexter was paying me a visit.

I awoke feeling confused and sad. Honestly, I have felt sad, lonely, missing, and angry for several months now. I keep working to find ways to heal what needs healing. I considered that the Petapalooza may offer some answers.

The weather is lovely so I did not mind the long walk from my car to the festivities. I told myself my body requires more exercise. At first I only saw dogs around, but eventually I noticed some cat rescue organizations. I checked out some cats, with the intention of browsing. I am not ready to adopt. Even though it will be 2 years next week since I lost Dexter. My grief has changed since then, but I am not fully over losing him. Part of me has not fully accepted his departure. I am not really surprised at this discovery. Not really.

While I am glad I got out of the house for a while, I was only more saddened by the sight of the homeless animals. I thought of my former cats Dex and Jasmine who I adopted from the SPCA.  Someone at the cat rescue booth suggested people take pictures of the kittens to post to social media. Once it occurred to me that I could help out, I had already begun to walk to my car. I simply lacked the energy to seize the moment. I feel like those shelter animals: abandoned, lost, empty, and sad.

I am not a stranger to depression. In this instance it is mostly situational. Practically everything in my life has disintegrated before my eyes. What I tell suicidal clients is that we are here for a reason and it is not our choice to end our lives. I am here to see how it all plays out. But at this moment it does not look good.

Book Review ~ The Stellium Handbook

I just learned of the passing of Donna Cunningham. I am saddened to report that she died on 7-5-17, her 75th birthday. Please enjoy my book review of her stellium handbook. Donna was an excellent healer, social worker, writer, and astrologer. She was also a fellow WP bloggette.

litebeing chronicles

“Why is there so much of me in one place?”

Have you ever asked yourself this question? Are you a specialist rather than a generalist? Are there perhaps one or two areas of life that you are obsessed about? A bit unbalanced, are we! You, my friend may have a stellium!  A stellium is defined as a group of 3 or more planetary bodies ( sun, moon, and planets) in a single zodiac sign or a single house.

In case you are wondering, on top of being left-handed, INFJ,  HSP, and blessed with a Yod configuration in my chart, I also have a stellium. It is a huge influence on my life and carries great potential for both genius and misery.  Mine is of the triple conjunction variety, which means that all 3 points are very close together forming conjunctions with a maximum of 7 degrees apart. So naturally I…

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Emotional Rescue ~ Gratitude Rising

My Mars return cycle begins today, woohoo! However it occurs just as Jupiter squares my natal Saturn for the second hit. This post is so very uplifting so I am reblogging as reminder that I can transform my thoughts and my life. Enjoy!

litebeing chronicles

I am noticing a liteness of being lately. Could be some lovely transits. Could be the result of my spiritual practices. Could be all or none of the above. Does not matter as I remain grateful. Get ready for the list cause here she comes.

You can listen to this while you read: Emotional Rescue

I am grateful to WordPress for making linking so much easier, way cool…

My income tax return arrived about 2 months late. HOWEVER, I was given an extra hundred dollars! Thought it was interest, but apparently I made some mathematical errors. I have been filing my own taxes since I got my first job and dear readers, I have never received extra money from the IRS! It is glorious to temporarily have more than enough money in the bank. Thank you!

After receiving the money, I get iced tea at McDonald’s. I pay for a…

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New Moon Orchids and Such

Happy New Cancer Moon to all,

While this lunation at 2 degrees Cancer sits clearly in my 5th house of romance and fun, I am feeling none of the above. My work life is being thrown into chaos as funding woes have drastically changed my job description. My health is better in general, but pain is a constant companion most days. I am now on clinical supervisor number three and I keep asking myself if I am a masochist for attempting to complete the LCSW process. I will let you know when I figure it out.

On the bright side, I still have a job for now and some interesting developments have recently surfaced. I have just begun teaching astrology on a formal basis.  I interviewed for an opportunity to participate in a pilot project on supporting people on Spiritual Emergence/Awakening. More new people are appearing in my life in terms of group constellations and I find that exciting.

However, my energy level remains low and my worry about work is currently interfering with my ability to blog new material. Hopefully this will pass soon, but in the meantime I want to post some amazing orchids and such I shot a few months back at Longwood Gardens.

While no one is going to confuse me with a professional photographer, I must admit that I have enjoyed taking photos very early on. I prefer shooting natural scenes to people because I relish the opportunity to capture moments of beauty. As a very visual person, photography comes naturally to me. Not the technical aspects, but the pleasure of focusing on what comes your way. It can be a form of mindfulness.

I continue to engage in gratitude practice as it helps me re-program inherent negativity into new energy. I am grateful to have a platform to call my own which affords me the ability to broadcast instantaneous musings and imagery all over our planet.

namaste to all

In Plein Air

Last week I went to In Plein Air again and threw out my back. Go figure! As I contemplate John Mayer’s role in the Grateful Dead 2.0 version, I am reminded how much his song Daughters resonates for me. This is for all the fathers and children ( and adult children). Happy Father’s Day! PS I will be back soon with new content, please be patient 🙂

litebeing chronicles

Is it just me or is time racing by with a vengeance? We have a second Sag full moon, the Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere ( Happy Winter to our friends in the Southern Hemisphere) and Father’s day, all within 24 hours or less of one another.

This brings up plenty of stuff for me. Beginnings and endings, light and dark, knowledge and wisdom, fathers and daughters, presence and uncertainty.

Let’s begin with a touch of grace. Last Sunday I decided to have a brief stroll down Germantown Avenue to take in the Plein Air competition. Plein air is associated with the open air painting style found in French Impressionism. I live very close to the Garden district but rarely feel drawn to aimlessly wander up and down the avenue. But this event has a Parisian feel to it, so I figured why not?

After a healthy lunch, I…

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Colonodyssey~WTF?

Photo764
Intuitive drawing of my colon circa 2016

Is the third time a charm? I have safely emerged from hospitalization number three for diverticulitis. I went to the ER Sunday afternoon  May 14th and returned home on Tuesday May 16th. This past Thursday evening I felt worse and on Friday I had relentless chills and a feeling I was relapsing. I am back on antibiotics and my doctor is concerned about my recovery. I guess it is just as well that I never completed the Colonodyssey wrap-up post. Clearly this saga continues.

I have no great insights or epiphanies to report. I briefly looked for astrological transits and did not notice anything major. However, when I consider the solar house approach , where you place your Sun sign as the Ascendant  and use the whole sign house system, I shifted my perspective. I typically do not use this approach but it resonates for me strongly now. Placing my Scorpio sun as the Ascendant would give me an Aries 6th house of health and service. Uranus has been transiting there since 2010, which is when my health issues began to increase in frequency and intensity. I have been more focused on Uranus transiting my 2nd house of money and values in my traditional chart to consider this alternate system. But when Michael Lutin talks, I listen. He is a big fan of solar houses and when I read his site for Scorpio forecasts, he highlights health issues lately.

The whole house system ends where each sign ends so I have only until May 2018 to see a shift. At that point Uranus moves into my solar 7th house ( but remains in traditional 2nd house). The astrologers who read this will get it. For everyone else, here is the takeaway: There are always alternative explanations for any event or experience. As Matt Kahn says, each being is existing in its own unique reality or dimension where all is based on a range of frequencies. So wish as I might, to analyze everything to death, fugetaboutit.

I have been reading more about how to approach chronic and acute dis-ease in a more balanced way. I do resent that I have little control. I was planning a trip for my vacation week but stayed home due to medical and financial obstacles. On top of it all, my LCSW supervisor just informed me that she is ending our supervision later this month because of changes with her private practice. I am really beginning to question many of the recent decisions I have made lately. Little seems to stick in this reality that I am living in. Perhaps this is how it needs to be, but I find it frustrating.

I run a grief and loss group and I stress the importance of accepting and embracing change, letting in opportunities for growth and evolution. Sometimes I wonder if I am having this group so I can learn more myself. We do teach what we need to learn. I was watching Super Soul Sunday and the guest was saying how she encourages people to think about what is working, rather than what is going wrong. I use that technique in my group and thought it was my original idea, ha!

While I could complain about all that has happened the last few months ( years, decades), I rather be grateful for what remains after the dust settles. I keep learning more about myself and my attitudes and perceptions. I find joy in the small things. I can keep writing….

Namaste and thanks for your continued interest in my writing.

Art is my Medicine ~ Gemini New Moon Edition

Yesterday’s Gemini New Moon fell on my IC, the soul point. It also squares my Pluto in the 7th house of relationships. Pluto is currently transiting my 12th house of undoing, unconsciousness, and shadow ( among other things). Needless to say, I am in a contemplative state of being.

While I am working on a new post about my most recent hospital stay, I offer up some photos I took about 3 weeks ago at the Woodmere Art Museum. This small space serves as a local treasure for my community.

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I pray for peace within and without and am learning to accept what is.

For new readers and others interested in the state of my colon, here are the links for the colonodyssey posts:

https://litebeing.com/2016/02/17/colonodyssey-part-1/

https://litebeing.com/2016/03/17/colonodyssey-part-2/

 

See ya again soon.

Namaste, litebeing

Half- Birthday Greetings!

Howdy litebeings and welcome to all my new followers! Today is my half-birthday and that makes me 56 1/2 years old in Earth time. More like 17 inside and 90 outside ( and sometimes the reverse is true). In my case, the sun also squares my Ascendant! It makes life a bit intense at times.  Anyway, I have been somewhat absent from WP and want to say hello and update you a little on the past few weeks.

I am still waiting for my car to be returned to me and I am glad that it will be finished after Mercury and Venus stationed direct. I have Venus ruling my 3rd house and this episode seems to be linked with Venus and Mercury moving backwards through my 2nd house of possessions. Uranus is still transiting my 2nd house also and this may have triggered the accident.

Internally I have been feeling alternately fearful, overwhelmed, and hopeful. Sometimes these emotions appear together. I have been getting interesting guidance lately. Most of the time it appears subtly, but this week the messages were very obvious. I have plenty to ponder.

Future posts:

1 Dreams and synchronicity 

2  Book review on the Quaker Spiritual Path

3  Film review on synchronicity

4 Emerging intuitive process

While I strive to be organized and efficient ( Virgo north node), I allow myself to veer off when necessary. I will be back soon to finish responding to all your wonderful comments.

namaste, litebeing