It’s my birthday and I’ll blog if I want to

By Puschinka (Self-photographed) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

When I discovered that I had published my 99th post ( according to WordPress , whose standards are scrupulous), I decided I would devote my 100th post to my birthday – which is tomorrow. I am a naturally reflective person, but around this time of year I become intensely introspective. I conduct a mini  life review of sorts.

I have reached a few conclusions about this past year that evoke both gratitude and sadness. One conclusion is that writing is one of the main reasons I am here. I managed to push this away for decades, quite successfully I might add. My grammar is still lousy and I am hopelessly attached to run- on sentences, yet the flow of ideas never ceases. Nor does the urge to tell a simple story. I feel sad that it has taken me so long to get here. I also feel grateful that I was given the time to discover this truth and explore it.

Another conclusion is that I have become incredibly cynical about romantic love. I will get more into this in a future post. What I will say now is that I do not think I want to bother with romance anymore. The thought of being joined in that way is emotionally exhausting. My blogging journey occasionally led me to post some synchronicity, poetry, and videos about past love. This nostalgic turn has not brought me joy, but a tinge of melancholy mixed with some unexpressed bitterness.

I will cite one example now and leave the rest for another time. A few years ago my progressed descendant moved into Scorpio. I was not expecting anything, yet it was a very powerful time for me.  One manifestation was that I met several people who had the same birthday as mine. This actually happened within a very short time span. I discovered a few days after my birthday that a coworker and I shared the same special day.  I saw a birthday card at his desk and asked him about it. Just a few weeks earlier he began to spend time with me and insinuate himself into my life like only a double  Scorpio (exact Sun conjunct Moon) can! We became involved very suddenly and intensely. I thought that this was divine love because we decided to incarnate on the same day ( different years). The relationship ended miserably, and there was tremendous fallout that affected more than just the two of us. I abhor the fact that I have not had another birthday since without his memory. It is not my day anymore. I know he thinks of me each birthday as well. How do I know? I know him.

To bring this post back to some form of emotional equilibrium, I will also conclude that all life is interconnected. My time here at WordPress has proven to me that like attracts like and I see so much of my essence in the magnificent writing, art, and commentary. Within this sense of union, projection often follows. When I ponder about at-one-ment and the illusion of separation, I realize that we see the totality of ourselves in each other. The song One by U2 comes to mind, particularly the line ” We are one, but we are not the same.” I believe Bono wrote the lyrics. He gets this as only a Moon in Scorpio man does.

This may appear confusing at first glance. Are we one or are we not?  I will explain by saying that we see parts of ourselves in each other that we process as ” Not me!” This artificial division becomes more pronounced in our deepest relationships such as family, close friends, and lovers. The rub lies in the complexity of such shared commonality or history and strong potential for serious discordance. I think of the phrase ” The opposite of love is not hate , but indifference.”

Needless to say ( yet I will anyway), this past month or so has been tumultuous and enlightening. I am so grateful that I am still alive. Self-expression has brought me back to life in ways I am still beginning to grasp. My soul had been waiting for quite a long time. Fortunately the soul is patient.

Thanks again to all of you who have traveled with me as I chronicled my adventures. I decided about a year ago that I would start a blog and that was the best present ever. Except for the love and support I have received here.

As I end this 100th post, I implore you to be grateful for all the love you give and receive.

Namaste

And in the end, the love we take is equal to the love we make.*

image  by Puschinka (Self-photographed) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

 One by U2  – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftjEcrrf7r0

The Beatles

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62 thoughts on “It’s my birthday and I’ll blog if I want to

  1. Pingback: Musings ~ Heaven Help the Fool, Valentine’s Day | litebeing chronicles

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  3. dearest linda,
    much love from us to you and dexy for your special day!!! we must then announce: happy belated birthday. hope it was a wonderful one. lots of good numbers, starts, and planets lining up for you this year. i have a feeling things are already moving in wonderfully positive directions. thanks for being connected, and opening a window to the unseen for all of us.
    hugs and more hugs
    love,
    o and om
    *** p.s wish we could have split that cake with you…

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  4. Linda, do not give up on love.
    Having said that, I do understand. I sometimes wonder if women have not evolved faster than men and there aren’t simply equal partners around, you know what I mean – the goddess power, etc. Also, there are still many women with the patriarchal mindset. You know that I am married and very private about this in the public sphere. I think these are challenging times for patrtnerships – the times of transition. I sincerely wish you happiness and completeness.
    Love,
    Monika

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    1. Dear Monika,
      Thank you for your support and concern. This is what happens when you blog a tad about your personal life 🙂
      I think the whole gender role confusion/ reconfiguration movement began in the early 1960s and peaked in the 1970s and early 1980s. I really like men and have had intense love in my life. I have had a few people comment on and offline about my ” giving up”. I am not giving up, more like giving in and being in a present space that is focused on other things. Having said that, I have always been strong and feisty and many men are not a good match for my energy. I wish only the best for you as well. I am not anti marriage either: It is all about finding what arrangement suits you best. BTW, I have Uranus my ruler in the 7th near descendant and the 7th house ruler is my Scorpio Sun ……

      love,
      Linda

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  5. Yay! I finally got to your post…I couldn’t wait to go down the list till I reached yours! (it must be some weird characteristic because I *need* to follow structure…though I’m pretty open minded..oh well)
    Happy Birthday Linda!! *hugs* and I hope that you had a good day and some yummy cake too.
    I read with some sadness that you are looking at romantic love with cynical eyes…I read your story about the man with the same date of birth too. When it comes to romantic love…I really don’t know. I mean, I know the “theory” of it..you know where it is said relationships shouldn’t complete you but it’s two completed people meeting and creating a joined path..and all that. I just hope that one day you will meet with the person who will open your romantic heart and let it bloom like a beautiful flower..an evergreen flower 🙂
    I’m not looking either. I guess I could say that I’m open to it but I am just happy learning about myself and all that. In fact, just this afternoon I wondered “What would I DO with a boyfriend??!!” then I realized we don’t actually need to do anything..it’s just more of a being together thing..LOL
    I hope this month of topsy turvy-ness ends soon with some awesome insight and experience of unfolding. I hope that this year will send you more blessings and abundance and joy.

    I’m glad to hear that you feel you’ve found your love for writing..and you know..it’s never to late to start 😉 I’m glad that you gave this blog as a present to yourself too! You have a very easy sense of writing…and like I said before..even though the words we use may be slightly different, your writing reminds me of my own..:)

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    1. Hey Shree,
      I am delighted that you look forward to my posts. I had a lovely day yesterday and now I have many tasks and major decisions ahead of me that require my attention. I have my reasons for not focusing on romance. I am really relishing learning more about the real me and minimizing the various distractions from this goal. I never say never but for now it is not a priority.

      I have loved writing since childhood so it is not new. What is new is allowing myself to nurture this love and stretch myself creatively.. Writing for so many years was professionally or academically based. It took away from the creative writing that I prefer. It is a great compliment to hear that my style is similar to yours, thank you! I like to have my personality shine through and hope my style of communicating is highlighting my ” flavor “.

      Namaste,
      Linda

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      1. It does communicate your flavour definitely! 🙂
        I get that about the writing bit. When it’s professional / technical it doesn’t need creativity..it just needs fact..lol.

        And cool about your view on romance! Because that’s how I feel / felt too!! I was just so into discovering myself and all that, the thought of romance completely slipped my mind!
        Now though. I am open to it. I still don’t think about it but one morning a couple of months ago as I meditated I sent out my intention to the Universe…and then just left it to let “them” sort it out 😛

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  6. Wishing you a Happy Birthday week… celebrating YOU, your 100th post, uniqueness in the oneness of life… It has been a pleasure enjoying your journey with you… Don’t give up on romance though… we can create this human part to our liking… Love Barbara x

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  7. Happy Birthday Linda! May you have many-many healthy, prosperous life with full of love/joy.
    Happy 100th post! It is amazing how time flies and before you know it, you have published enough posts to bind it in a book. 😉
    As for romance I hear you, it is exhausting. 😀 )))

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  8. Pingback: Deva Premal & Miten | bluebutterfliesandme

  9. Happy Birthday, dear Linda! Happiness and Love are following by your every step, and Good Luck is yours, I know what I am saying about :-). My cake today is for you! Please make a wish and blow out the candles. And I am singing “Happy Birthday to You!”. I know you hear me.

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  10. Dear Linda, First wishing you a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!
    I have only just started to get to know you, and your blog, 🙂 But in this short time I have to agree with you, we do meet and greet those who are meant to add illumination to our pathway.. And while we can meet and greet those whom we think perhaps were not right.. or who leave a bitter taste in our mouths, our paths none the less were meant to cross..
    Sometimes the greatest lessons in life were left by those whom caused us to question or who can appear to clash like titans.. Our energies are all tied together in ways we do not always perceive within our present memory…
    And maybe it was you who was meant to leave within his sphere the gift … Who is to say!
    I know that this new energy portal of planetary alignments is unleashing lots of Past memory recall, both positive and negative… I hope that as the gateways open we can all of us come through wiser , letting go of things that no longer serve us.. which maybe careers,places or people… Its unearthing some very interesting feelings thats for sure..

    ( If I am absent from answering for a while its simply that I have become ill with a virus, and so for the last couple of days have been out of action needing some rest.. The post for the 14th is ready…. let me know if you want a copy prior to its publish date and reblog etc.. )

    Love to you and ENJOY your beautiful day you chose to incarnate on Earth!…. To make a difference to the NOW energies….
    Love and Blessings
    Sue xoxox

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    1. Oh Sue,

      You are so wise!! I agree that the times we are in have opened many of us up to a pandora’s box of emotions and questions. My own retro challenge has unleashed more than I bargained for, but hopefully will make good writing material lol!

      I know that all I have collided with were there for some purpose and that I have a say in all my decisions regarding the souls who enter my path.

      I am very glad that you have come into my life and look forward to knowing you better. I sent you white light, hope you receive it. My day has been lovely so far, I am truly blessed 🙂

      PS I do not need to see your post beforehand, I will be posting a reminder and simple instructions before the official challenge begins.

      Blessed be and heal quickly.

      love Linda

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  11. Happy, wondrous birthday, Linda! (I don´t think there are too many wishes for that from the same person either, hehee.)

    “We are one, but we are not the same.” That´s so true. Generally spoken I think we are getting more and more understanding about our individuality, that is leading from its part to more tolerance and space for differences and feelings of oneness/sense of connectedness, too. Often even positive character traits are interpreted being negative, because oneself doesn´t have that much of them, or certain positive traits have been “doomed” as being negative in the childhood environments and/or culture. Also bringing the unconscious to the conscious is the great job we do. (As a human communications coach I know many reasons to misunderstandings because of positive human differences and different and understandable distress behaviors, but there are also very real bridges, too.) Just as a one viewpoint and layer, there are more, like always, and like you know. In energy language it is about shifting energy from solar pleksus to the heart center, but it might not say much to others than energy workers.

    Love, and

    let´s dance, birthday gal!

    Deelia

    PS. I resonate with Julianne´s suggestion, too. (There is a little synchronicity, as I was about to search for an article about cutting cords to bring it to my blog a couple of days ago. To write myself in English a longer text is quite a task.)

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    1. Thank you Deelia for the lovely comments and wishes. Communication is so important and can be often misinterpreted. I find that to properly communicate i must first be clear on my intent and then very carefully and precisely get my message across. As someone who often receives communication from ” unnamed sources” I can become confused or overwhelmed. But like many things in life, persistence and effort usually payoff.

      Let’s dance now in the astral planes 🙂

      love ya,

      Linda

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  12. Hey Linda, one of the most amazing women in my life is celebrating her birthday tomorrow as well! I wish you a superb sunny day full of love and beautiful smiles. And I wish you to find and (re)own your passion for life and yourself. Enjoy the delicious woman you are 🙂

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  13. Happy Birthday Linda!!! I am so glad you are here and echo how much writing and the community here have enhanced my life.
    The differences we experience in each other can be disappointing when it seems we can’t find common enough ground to have a relationship with someone else, especially when at some time we thought we could.
    Perhaps, no One person can ever replace the entirety of the Whole.
    Your birthday will always be your birthday. Sometimes I think we are born individuals for the very reason that we can experience separation, if that makes any sense.
    Hugs to you on your special day!
    Debra

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    1. Hi Debra,
      Thank you for your wisdom and your friendship. A Course in Miracles as well as Neale Donald Walsch assert that the separation is an illusion and also a deliberate expression of the divine to express itself in its entirety. We will all find out eventually …

      hugs back,
      Linda

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  14. Dearest Linda,
    Happy Birthday for tomorrow, I hope we get to connect in some way tomorrow. This is an interesting post, and I thank you for letting us into your personal past. Writing is such a cathartic experience, & I am so pleased that you decided to follow this part of yourself, as I truly feel I have made a wonderful friend in you.
    P.S. 9 is my favourite no too… 3 to the power of 3 🙂
    Have a wonderful pre-Birthday evening, and I hope you get to spoil yourself in some way!
    Many blessings to you Linda,
    *hugs* xx

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    1. Dearest Heidi,
      I thank you for your encouragement and am so grateful for our wonderful friendship.Writing is so cathartic and I decided that sharing some of my past is worth the risk if it helps me heal and provides some message or subtle reverberations out in the blogosphere.

      much love and blessings,
      Linda

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  15. Happy Solar return! Have you tried cutting/releasing the cords to past relations? It may help to clear your birthday, so that it can be about you and your growth. May it be a beautiful one filled with love (not fear-which I feel is the opposite-or indifference)!

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    1. thank you Julianne. I have heard a few folks, Shree was one, mention this process but I am not really familiar with it. Fear is the opposite of love and fear sometimes translates to hate.

      much love to you! Namaste

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      1. Some people imagine silver scissors cutting unwanted cords. What I did to detach someone was envision unattaching a bungie cord so the person sprang back and away permanently.
        This just can to me…maybe visit someone, a shaman or other energyworker, who can assist with clearing and possible soul retrieval.

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