Sick Day Summary

It has been so long since I have published anything original. Working 4 ten hour days a week ( including evenings) has left me tired or depleted energetically more often than not. I think about this blog and community often and I want you all to know you are with me every step of the way.

The way has been busy and productive but tinged with loneliness, anxiety, and dread. I am grateful to have a job I enjoy where I can see what I have helped create. Yet I feel very insecure, waiting for the other foot to drop. I am lucky to have people I can discuss my worries with, but it is not always enough. So many years of underemployment or unemployment have left me shaky and uneasy. With both transiting Pluto and Saturn trudging around my 12th house, I understand where some of this malaise is rooted. But still, it persists.

My relationship with my mother remains fractured and this saddens me, and yet, it seems to be more real. I try to balance my awareness of her advancing age with my need to let her know that we have mostly been strangers to one another throughout our entire relationship.  I work on remaining careful not to hurt her and still communicate as directly and plainly as I can. I want to be the bigger person but it is difficult when I am the bigger person all over my life. There are so few people who can comfort me and hear me and really accept me just as I am. So I strive to be that person for me. Learning to love yourself IS the greatest love of all.

I called out sick today and it was much needed. I am happy to report my body is on the mend, so my choice to stay home was a sound one. With Mercury retrograde, I still had to spend unwanted time contacting colleagues because of communication breakdowns.  I have been feeling so tired lately. The astro weather isn’t helping either. My uncle died and my boss quit his job within days of each other during this eclipse cycle.  Two different events; one natural, the other seemingly unexpected. I recently concluded my uncle was the last male relative of the generation before mine.  I did not know him well. We were not close, but he is a symbol of my childhood and he was a decent man. Uranus most likely messed with his Taurus sun, but he lived a long life, seemingly content.

My boss is one of the nicest supervisors I have ever worked with. Spoiler alert: when I am fortunate enough to get a great boss, they usual resign shortly after I am hired. He stayed for almost 6 months of my tenure and that is a record. He is a double Pisces, so of course, we got along. He has his faults, but he is so good with people, so kind, and so caring. A real lightworker. I did not see his resignation coming, but here it is. I have a history of scary supervisors replacing the nice ones, but I can rewrite this old narrative. In fact, I already have: ” I have learned so much about this new job setting and mastered so many new tasks while working with this person. He believes in me and is not afraid to be complimentary and recognize hard work. I saw how authority does not have to be used to gain power and control. I appreciate the time I worked with him and the impact he has made.”

I am grieving him, even while he still is working with me for a few more weeks. I assumed I would leave before he would. Oh well, I was mistaken. I do not do loss well, but over time I have been able to let go sooner and easier. This is growth. Speaking of loss, I have had a few dreams lately featuring my first cat Jasmine. I have no digital pictures of her to post, but I can describe her as a petite calico with green eyes. She was gorgeous and independent and aloof. But she was my first baby and I adopted her at about 7 weeks old. She lived with me for 16 years. Dexter was bigger than life, but Jasmine taught me about how to nurture another. It is curious why she is emerging in dreamtime, but it is cool to see her again happy and thriving.

This catchup post is a hodgepodge of topics, quickly assembled from the recesses of my mind and heart, but it feels liberating to share my ramblings with you on this cooler than usual July evening. So much remains uncertain, but one idea rings true: service with passion equals a full heart and warm soul.

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Seeing Ain’t Believing

Ever since Ascension has become a hot topic in metaphysical/spiritual circles, I have wondered if some or all of my odd physiological ailments were due to upgrades or plain 3D aging. I still do not have any clear answers, but figured the current Sun square Neptune aspect was a great time to explore this latest mystery.

Back in March, I had just begun a new job which included working nights. My night vision is not so hot and my eyes tire after spending long hours in front of a computer screen. About 20 minutes after arriving home one night, I tune into a favorite TV series. It is hard to follow the storyline because there is a disco ball flashing inside my head. At least that is what it looks like to me. For close to half an hour I see gold lights quickly flashing  within my field of vision, in both eyes. I was really scared, but hoping for the best outcome. After freaking a few years back after the floaters arrived, I decided not to panic. I told myself that if this incident was a ” one and done”, there would be no need to take action. The floaters, ( dark shadowy figures that enter from the corner of the eye) turned out to be nothing, according to my ophthalmologist. So this weirdness dissipated, never to return. But when a Facebook friend posted about eye flashes and retinal surgery, I went into panic mode. I saw the new doctor ( as mine had retired) who minimized the whole affair and concluded my retinas were fine before she examined them. She diagnosed me with ocular migraines and claimed I have a history of them. ( No I did not, I had old- fashioned migraine headaches; I would have remembered an in-house disco show.) Ocular migraines are “brain farts” that show up in the field of vision, related to auras that some people experience before experiencing a migraine episode. I have not seen auras yet, neither the migraine kind or the energy – field observed above one’s crown chakra variety.

A few weeks after the ophthalmologist visit, I saw a light green light on someone’s jacket at work. I surmised it was a reflection from something outside the window. When I noticed the same colored light the next morning in the bathroom, I panicked. ” Why am I seeing colors that are not there? ” I do not use magic mushrooms or take acid or other hallucinogens. I am not sleep deprived nor am I losing my mind. I was worried I might be losing my eyesight though. So I called the ophthalmologist office and told the assistant about my symptoms. She called back after consulting with the doctor and assured me this is an ocular migraine. I did not recall being told during my checkup that seeing colors was another possible sign of an ocular migraine. Did you know that this type of migraine is not related to the eyes but to the visual cortex part of the brain?

Apparently, this phenomenon is rare, which makes sense to me. I tend to develop odd or rare health issues ( Aquarius rising with an angular Uranus and strong Saturn in Capricorn). But it does beg the question, why now? Are there more visual hallucinations in my future? Per usual, I was told no one really knows about their origins or how to prevent them, except to avoid stress. Okay, no more stress for me then!

wikipedia.org pub domain

I wish I could tell if there is a mystical component here, maybe a 5D upgrade perhaps? Or is it simply another manifestation of an aging body and a stressful life? Or is it both? Or neither? I wish I had a clue. I really do.

Please share in the comments if you have had a similar eye event.

An inquiring mind ( mine) wants to know.

Some may find it exciting, but my hold on reality does not need this type of excitement. I was never a fan of disco and grew up during the Disco Sucks movement. Maybe I feel this way because of some of the songs played on a continuous loop during my formative years.

Like this one:

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Tree House Refuge

I knew upon seeing this sign that it would be prominently placed in a future post. We are always one, whether we like it or acknowledge it. It just is. This entry is a follow up to my post in February about the treasures unleashed at a recent consult with my Spiritual Director. It took me a few months but I finally made it over to Morris Arboretum to revisit their TreeHouse exhibit. I picked a day that turned out to be warmer than expected and the place was packed with families and their young children. As an introvert, my pursuit of peace was not found during this trip. Yet, the TreeHouse was lovely and the Rose Garden was in full bloom. And then I discovered the Garden Railway was back “on track.” Sorry, I had to go there!

While this excursion ( only about 10 minutes from home) was neither mystical or freeing, the photos I took are lovely and the signage about Interconnection was not lost on me. Here are a few shots from the Arboretum:

The sky was so vibrantly blue and I had seen so much of the place with fresh eyes. But it was almost closing time and I was feeling oddly dehydrated so my exploration was put on hold for another time.

You see, the day before my visit was very intensely emotional for me and I felt quite depleted.  Sadly, the  ” Treehouse refuge ” I was seeking still remains elusive. I still have much to process as my recent homecoming was certainly not idyllic. I am in no hurry though. I have learned not to rush the process. My spirit does feel some comfort though from my snapshots of nature on this ordinary Spring afternoon. I hope you find them comforting as well.

 

Make Earth Great Again ~ Earth Day 2019

Here is the version I meant to publish, but you can never have enough tributes to Gaia!

I adore Bill Maher and borrowed his tagline from last night’s New Rules segment as the title for this post. I do not think that Earth is not already great, but I do think it urgently needs extreme nurturing and collective respect. Sometimes a catchy slogan makes a difference. It did in the US presidential campaign.

While Bill’s rant is a bit satirical, he is a passionate environmentalist who often features activist scientists on his show. Check out this video and leave me your comments below:

Happy Earth Day!

image credits ~ litebeing chronicles © 2019

Alleluia, and Good Morning

This blog says so eloquently what I have felt for many years. Blessings on this weekend that celebrates the portal to rebirth and re-newal.

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Resurrection.jpgToday is, for many, a day without irony. It is a day one can see not just daylight through cracks in tomb doors, but can look back into what was their tomb from the satisfying light of a new dawn.

These patterns of light and dark, day and night, life and death happen so regularly that they’re almost not worth mentioning. Except, they are.

The ancients call it Paschal Mystery. A repeating pattern of living and dying and renewing that, through the eternal Christ, is everywhere present, everywhere accessible.

Faith is merely the God-given sight necessary to awaken to it. And Easter is the primal, archetypal key that opens that door.

Today is Easter. Resurrection. All that was dark, dead, hopeless, and not, is brought back into glorious harmony with God and the cosmos. Through Christ, today, we feel its warmth. Today, we know its hope.

Today is for all…

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Finally!

Finally

Spring has come to my corner of Gaia,

After such a looooong sabbatical,

Blessing me with the manifestation of nature’s promise,

Glorious rapture of energy birthed into form

The wait was excruciating since last Spring,

When my cellphone photos were frozen in time,

Unwilling to allow me to share the blooms with you,

Until now a year later courtesy of Samsung and ATT

Just like magic, my health is re-bounding well,

After 2 months of physical hell

Rashes, viruses, and colon woes no more,

Freedom from bondage in this moment is pure

Do you see Beauty wherever you move?

Are your eyes opened or stuck in a sad groove?

Breathe gently with me and hear your heartbeat

Accept the sour and savor the sweet

My words don’t always rhyme

And life happens in its own time

Regardless of ego’s plans

Or outbursts and rants

You do what you can

And accept what you can’t

( until perhaps at some future timeline, you CAN)

I did not label this post as poetry, but I eked out some phrases in semi-rhythmic beats to convey my pleasure with seemingly forward movement. Winter 2019 was a spell of  “eternal stagnation, endless lifelessness and boundless misery “.

I spent just a few minutes outside today walking around my ‘hood snapping everything Springy in the midst of ferocious traffic and frenetic activity that seems odd for a Sunday afternoon. The weather was phenomenal and it felt great to bask in the beauty of this ephemeral season.

Grace is in the house!

Two Cool announcements:

 1 Please consider guest blogging for the Seeker’s Dungeon site headed by Sreejit. The topic is From Darkness to Light, one of my fav themes, and the vibe is wonderful over at Sreejit’s place. Check out the link https://theseekersdungeon.com/2019/04/05/spread-the-word-guest-bloggers-wanted/ and join the party for some deep soul-stirring stories and inspirational bonding with like-minded creative spirits.

2 While you are grooving to this Aries energy and planning your guest post, why not hop over tomorrow to the free Ancestral Healing summit over at The Shift Network? There are many great healers and teachers involved in this online event , such as Heather Dane , Sandra Ingerman and Gregg Braden. I am certainly intrigued about this topic and look forward to some awesome programming. Visit https://ancestralhealingsummit.com/ for the details.

Healing Weekend Retreat

Last weekend unexpectedly lead me to places near and far, old and new, all at once. I want to share some of the gifts received as a result of staying open and vulnerable. Meeting with my spiritual director last Saturday unleashed memories and visions that were both beautiful and haunting. It was interesting to witness how thoughts, feelings, and images seemed to ricochet off one another, in imperfect harmony.

The movement of thought is often fluid and in-congruent, organic and non-linear. Considering hope led me to read an email link about a Hope gathering led by Sandy Bloom, a woman I deeply respect who created the Sanctuary movement. I was fortunate to be an intern at the Sanctuary inpatient  unit while pursuing my MSS. I was especially lucky to have some contact with Dr. Sandra Bloom, including interviewing her for a graduate school paper about my internship. This interest in Sanctuary in some ways was triggered by an Insight training I attended in my twenties. While looking back on the Training, the criticism about it being cultish may have been valid. Yet it was a valuable experience, rich with many synchronicities, both beautiful and haunting ( yes, a pattern is emerging here!) One exercise in particular sticks in my mind. It was a meditation on creating a sanctuary. I put a pinball machine in mine and was amazed to discover that one of the assistants had also done so! The word sanctuary was already loaded because as a teen I liked the Sanctuary album by the J Geils Band. You see how this keeps going and going..

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Anyway, I did a meditation with my spiritual director to connect with my sanctuary and I immediately envisioned a tree house. This is striking because I usually need some time before I settle down and get centered. This tree house was bathed in light and covered with ivy and was incredibly cozy and inviting. It was likely triggered in part by a very moving scene in Grey’s Anatomy I had watched just the week before. I also reflected back on the womb-like and mystical allure of caves, especially Crystal Cave that I visited as a child.

I left the meeting invigorated and ready for adventures of the internal kind. The next day I decided to go back to Woodmere Art Museum and get some ” art therapy. ” The visit was fueled by the potency of Saturday’s meditation/stream of consciousness. Here are some images from my visit:

I will leave you with a quote from one of the artists whose work was exhibited:

While the quote is about shining a light on Black History, I think it can also be applied to spiritual growth. I see it taking place within as I follow the threads that originated in my imagination, now taking new form.

tree house images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Elevation ~ Lee Harris Energy Update

 

The weather has been frigid with snow on and off today. I am enjoying the winter feeling and new breeziness of February. Happy Imbolc to everyone! I find the cross – quarter days fascinating, especially those that coincide with my sun and Ascendant/Descendant axes. The lovely Brigid, featured in the image above is associated with this holy day that celebrates the crossover from Winter to Spring. Funny how Groundhog Day falls during this same time period, right?  I can also report that my health is so much more improved today. I feel freer and more energized and I want to sustain it and build upon it. Yes!

Please check out Lee Harris discussing the energies of February 2019. He speaks of the ending of clearing and the introduction of more light on the planet. He uses the term elevation and abundance frequently and I am taken with this idea.

How about you? What does elevation mean to you?

 

 

Lee is such a gentle soul who brings forth such rich material consistently. It is a joy to take in these messages and carry them forward. Imbolc has a Celtic and Pagan history and Ireland is the home of the magical band U2.

Please enjoy this video of their hit song, Elevation:

 

 

Brigid image courtesy of wikipedia.org, free domain

Special Sale and Giveaway: Everything 50 % Off!

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New year, new moon, solar eclipse, new sign placements for Mercury, Venus, and Mars, all planets direct, blogiversary coming on 1-11, WOW!

Many have been asking for this and NOW the time is right….

VOILA, All my services are 50% off! Yes! it is happening right now! What a great time to see what 2019 has in store for you!

The details are simple – for a limited time only all my readings are half off. Check out my services here. All my services are listed along with instructions on how to contact me.

I have not marketed my astrology or dreamwork much lately, but let me tell you what I  think sets me apart me from the others ~ I bring decades of counseling experience to my readings, along with empathic and highly intuitive abilities that come online during my preparation and during the interactive process. This makes a huge difference and I would encourage anyone who is considering a reading to check out the testimonials to see what clients have said about their experiences.

By Tanemori (HatenaFotolife) [CC-BY-2.1-jp (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.1/jp/deed.en)], via Wikimedia Commons

Yes, one more thing: I will be offering a free reading to one lucky reader. I have not decided how this will play out, but it is so much fun to gift my service to someone! I am so fortunate to have been blessed with the skills and abilities to live and breathe astrology and be a life long active dreamer. It is an honor to be able to share these blessings with others. By the way, I may even give a free reading to someone who signs up to pay for a service. Or I may just contact someone who comments on this post. Please share this post with on social media. Spread the love!  I have no idea what will happen so please come along for the ride! Please email me with any questions you have on my contact page. 

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Thanks for supporting this blog for close to 6 years!