Poetry ~ Gratitude

I am reblogging the 2017 version of my 2013 Poem entitled Gratitude for all to enjoy. I must admit that I felt quite buoyant a year ago. Meanwhile back here in 2018, I have felt depressed for several weeks. I still maintain a gratitude practice and blogging here is one of the sustainable joys in my life.

I also want to acknowledge all indigenous people all over the planet who anchor wisdom, tradition and integrity despite all the indignities they have suffered at the hands of the “discoverers”. Let’s all try to love another better and make kindness a habit rather than an occasional behavior.

PS Sorry that I  have not gotten around to responding to many of your comments.  Please be patient with me as I get caught up.  🙂

Namaste, litebeing

litebeing chronicles

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We celebrate Thanksgiving in the United States today. Gratitude practice is a large part of my life every day, in personal reflection and in my work as a therapist. So I am re-posting my gratitude poem from 2013 for you all to enjoy.

I have so much to be thankful for this year. It only took me a few weeks to obtain a new job, one that actually found me! I shed the victim persona, practiced Dr. Joe Dispenza’s chakra blessings meditation, and kept the faith.  I am grateful for renewed purpose, new friends and old, my beautiful nieces, and some improvement in health.

I am also thankful for my new mittens, that I found when I was shopping for something else. They are colorful, warm and very cozy, a pleasant alternative to my beloved gloves that did not last long as a pair in my possession. Life is…

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I Applied to 200 Jobs and All I Got Was This Moderate-Severe Depression

Hey litebeings, I wondered onto Discover and landed on this insightful moving essay by the ubertalented ( not the taxi service uber) Athena. While this reblog might be off brand for litebeing chronicles, I was so drawn to it as someone who has endured so much suffering via unemployment and the job searches from Hell. Although I am certainly not a Millenial, Athena’s desire to be her authentic self and not be homeless while waiting tugs at my heartstrings. My desire is for some of my readers to reblog her post and help her get closer to finding the career that is waiting for her somewhere. ❤

Bertha Mason's Attic

“And when everything else is gone, you can be rich in loss.”

– Rebecca Solnit, A Field Guide to Getting Lost

About Me, Your Friendly Neighborhood Millennial:

I was your garden-variety smart kid, shuffled through GATE programs of every type from kindergarten onward. In sixth grade, I left the classroom in the afternoons to study Latin roots with our school’s principal for the spelling bee circuit. As you can probably imagine, I was bullied a lot (Apparently, no one likes a first-grader who says “in addition to” instead of “and.”). I went to a competitive high school near Silicon Valley, where– with my AP courses– I had a 4.0 cumulative GPA, but was not in the top 10% of my class.

After getting summarily rejected from the Ivies, I went to a small university in Oregon, where I worked harder than I thought possible to graduate a year early with…

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Wake Me Up Before I Go – Go

Here is my contribution to A Selection of True Awakening Stories, Part III, created and organized by the magnificent Barbara. Thanks to my dear friend Barbara for making this all possible and gently nudging me to dig deeper into my being and scoop out some goodies to convert into the written word!

This project will be converted to a free e-book for all to enjoy and savor with glee. The previous two e-books are available for download on the right sidebar of my site’s home page.

I would suggest you read or re-read my previous two awakening stories listed below to gain a broader understanding of my journey:

Part I

Part II

This third installment will cover my “travels” from early 2016 until this present moment. While not much has really changed at the surface level, there has been tremendous energetic shifts just below the surface. Many of my regular readers know I use imagery as part of my communication process. Art and text ( often married with music as well) do more together than separately. I have chosen a few paintings by Julian Weir to complement today’s “cosmic update”. These paintings were selected because reality is depicted as malleable, shaded ,variable, soft and muted. I would say that my current state of being is quite porous, mutable, in flux, and often multi-dimensional. No-thing is ever how it seems, at least not from my vantage point.

Time is Fleeting: While I have functioned as a therapist at two different organizations, become more immersed in a local astrology group, and have witnessed more lovely souls enter and leave my orbit, these details matter little. While reading a high school year book recently, I discovered a quote that still rings true.

Isn’t it strange how all of the years dissolved into just a feeling?

I remember being blown away by this insight at the time. I do agree that all of human/being existence is reduced to momentary impressions and reactions. Feelings turn into memories but cannot replace the in-the-moment experience.

When you really get down to it, all we are left with are our experiences. Time moves so quickly in ” my reality” that I look back less and focus as much as possible on the moment in front of me. It requires plenty of re-programming for me to succeed, especially in this informational overload society. Experiences are purer when lived in the Now and the moment is all there is. I realize that while living in a body is limiting, it is still unique.

I’m on the Road to No-where:  The painting above is called The Road to Nowhere, which I did not notice until it was already uploaded. It fits in perfectly with the notion that there is no-thing to do, no-where to go, and no-one to be.

The past few years have been about picking myself up and dusting myself off after falling down over and over and over again. While it appears that my recent journey is mostly about recovering from an assortment of bizarre and mundane obstacles, I sense that IAM growing and evolving behind the scenes. It is obvious to me that I want to spend my remaining time on Earth serving the elevation of consciousness. I do not want to live my days “phoning it in.” Lately I have been drawn to working in the field of addiction. Many moons ago my psychic buddy Bob mentioned in a reading that I would do well working with addicts. It did not appeal to me then, but it has become a passion of mine. While I currently interview for jobs at  inpatient rehabs and outpatient clinics, it has dawned on me that my last employer really took a chance by hiring me. I realize that I could not answer many of the specific questions about chemical dependence  treatment being asked of me now, back then. I know now how much I did not know. (This doesn’t apply just to addiction treatment either!)

I did acquire so much knowledge in such a short amount of time. Looking back, it seems miraculous that my former supervisor advocated to bring me onboard. It took me some time ( I started that job 1 year ago today) to realize that the Universe was really conspiring to help me grow and manifest more of the experiences that I desire. I find it pointless to not serve humanity, especially at this point in our species’ development. The question remains: How to do so without getting stuck in the goo of despair?

wikiart.org public domain, artist Julian Weir

The Sludge Party continues:  There is so much sludge! I am referring to unresolved material that remains hidden at the unconscious and often cellular level. The more we live, the more we acquire. So many old insecurities have re-emerged recently, issues I thought we cleared for good. Some recent sludge has come up around rejection, being bullied, and #metoo incidents that date all the way back to the 6th grade. Revisiting high school via my class HS Reunion FB page has resulted in many dreams including former “mean girl” classmates along with some pleasant exchanges online. It is a mixed bag, sludge and fudge.  Afterall, looking at the old yearbooks revealed that awesome quote about the flow of time and how we process it.

The #metoo movement triggered old memories that I thought were long resolved. Many spiritual teachers say that we perpetually clear more and more as old content emerges again in a spiral formation. Other teachers say we do not need to clear anymore. All I know is that I faced head on some rather uncomfortable emotions, yet again.  I dealt with them, for now.

Ascension Apocalypse: While I am still as confused as ever about all the Ds ( densities and dimensions), I like the concept of ascension and tend to attract more and more information online and offline about this topic. While those who know me well would describe my personality as fixed and stubborn, I have revised my belief system several times, especially since the dawning of the new millennium. For example, I really could not relate to the notion that practically all Earthlings are slaves to the machine. It appeared to be a preposterous exaggeration.  Yes, I descended in part from an enslaved people. But I have never been forced to work without pay or treated like I had no value.  As I consider how primitive and stagnant our civilization is in terms of basic living conditions, deplorable does not even begin to cover it! Most spirits in human bodies have to work most of their lives to barely cover food and shelter, with little or nothing leftover. Millions live in squalor and are perpetually hungry. When I look at my life, despite all the education and skills, I have had to accept employment that was far less from what I desired, just to survive.  This planet finds violence and incarceration acceptable and does not agree that food, medical care, and education are birthrights. It is truly a dog- eat-dog mentality at play , while the 1 percent have more resources than they could possibly ever use.

Why do we live this way?

Matrix or not, there has got to be a purer, kinder way to live on this beautiful planet called Gaia. So I continue to do my best, using my guidance and intuition to plant me where I am needed. But there are many moments when I wonder if we are too late.

George Michael, Am I Woke Yet?  I titled this entry Wake Me Up Before I Go-Go as a riff on the Wham classic Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. This song has nothing at all to do with this topic, but I adore George Michael, one of the many sensitive souls who left Earth too soon. And yet, if you check out the video link provided above, you will see George is wearing a t-shirt with the words CHOOSE LIFE on it, hmmmm.

In any case, the title really distills what matters to me most at this juncture. I really, really, really, ( did I say really? ) REALLY, do not want to return here again in a body. I realized as a child that I did not want to be here and it only took a few more years to realize that I am not interested in doing this again. Per usual, the cosmic winks continue, as my phone began to ring just  while I typed the word again! I am not playing. There has to be more to explore in other realms.

So I conclude this cosmic update to say that I want to awaken as fully as possible, with love and nurture and care, before this body expires.  I do not wish to remain stuck on the karmic wheel and be a slave to any “authorities” whoever or whatever they may be. I doubt very much I would have chosen my circumstances without the goal of transcendence and awakening. If ascension is on the table, I want in! Maybe I am already partially there. There is no scorecard where I  track my progress, however both longing and love do register in my heart.

images courtesy of wikiart.org, public domain
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Ready, Set , Blog! Divine Mission- Possible

Ready, set, blog!

Blog challenge season is upon us once again at litebeing chronicles. Every Autumn since the blog’s inception in 2013 has resulted in a wonderful opportunity to build community and “cross-pollinate” ideas and sentiments across the blogosphere.

2018 is no different in that regard. My idea for 2018’s challenge came quickly and clearly.  I am interested in exploring the incarnated soul’s life purpose. I have been longingly inquiring about the meaning of life since my adolescence. Eventually I discovered that there is no absolute meaning, it is an inside job. Okay, then, but what are the particulars? Why are we here and what are we doing with the guidance we receive? A few days later I received validation through my Louise Hay Desk Calendar:

Like many of my blog posts, I invite my readers to look at issues that fascinate and/or frustrate me. This is no different. I would love to be able to regularly say ” I chose to come here and I am delighted to be here.” I cannot say that today. What I will say that going on an arduous job search has left me tired and bewildered. The first few weeks I was swept away in shock, a certainty about surrender, and illuminating synchronicity. Presently I am asking myself if I have more to do here and am I aware of my entire mission. I do believe in reincarnation and the concept of in between life planning. But I am also curious about how souls get to leave the wheel and move on entirely.  I also wonder if many of us readily asked to come to Earth now to participate in the anchoring of light.  Is this just a Cosmic soundbite or something sacred and precious?

The title for the challenge came swiftly: a play on the Mission Impossible franchise where the protagonist is faced with a mission in a briefcase with a time bomb attached. ” Here’s your mission, if you choose to accept it,  … “ And then the adventure begins! From this premise the blog challenge concept was born!

The rules are simple, but this time with a twist that I will reveal later in the post:

Instructions:

1 – Write about your spiritual mission here on Gaia. Are you a lightworker, Starseed, forerunner, Indigo, or none of the above? What have you incarnated to do or to be? Describe your mission and your journey to achieve it. Are you delighted to be here? There is no correct answer, by the way. Make it your own.

2- Pick a date and inform me here in the comments section.

3- Include ” Divine Mission-Possible blog challenge ” in the text and link back to this blog post.

4 Copy the blog badge and add it to your site.

There are some modifications to this format. If you are stuck on your mission, you are free to write about lacking a mission or your process on discovering what it is. You can also write why you don’t have a mission and how that impacts you. As long as you stay on this topic, you are golden.

Now here’s the twists:

More that one person can post on the same date! That’s right, pick a date ( preferably starting on 11-1-18) and let me know. I do not care if 2 or more folks choose the same date. I do not want that issue to get in the way of participation.

Here’s the final twist : I want this challenge to grow in numbers organically and reach way beyond my own group of readers. I think this topic is very important in the times we are living in, where the pressure is on to evolve or perish, or dis-engage from living a well lived life. 

So in that spirit, I am asking that every participant volunteer at least one other blogger to join. That person will volunteer someone new, and so on…

I am volunteering all my readers, but I will also ask someone specifically to get the ball rolling. If you ask someone and they decline, that’s alright. Try again! My intention is for a wave of creative passion to flood cyberspace with intense love and solidarity. Please contact me here with any questions. I will provide a schedule here on the bottom of this post. Please refer back here to keep up with the posting dates.

( Look for the cat in the montage! )

So let’s keep encouraging each other to wake up and complete our Divine missions. It is possible! I know it in my heart. I have met so many glorious souls through participating in blog challenges. Let Source flow through us as we celebrate our time here together. Unity consciousness is more than a platitude, it is a life skill! Please share this invite across your social media platforms. Thanks in advance for all the blogger love.

As the fairy godmother sang in Cinderella , impossible things are happening everyday!

So who am I volunteering? I have chosen Leigh, a longtime blogger buddy and dear friend who has taught me more than words can say.

I am so excited to get started. Please join me now!

DIVINE MISSION: POSSIBLE!

Challenge Schedule

November

1-

2-

3- Linda

4- Dayna

5-

6-

7-

8-

9- Dace

10- Michael

11- Tania

12- Barbara

13-

14- Kristen Ann

15-

16-

17- Linette

18- Cindy

19-

20-

21-

22-

23-

24– Wendy

25- Shree , Edith

26- Sue

27- Tom

28- Alexis Ray

29-

30-

Dec

1-

2-

3-

4-

5- David

 

 

Just A Tease And More

WE HAVE THE SYNCHRONOUS MESSAGE

WE NOW HAVE THE BADGE AND CHALLENGE TITLE

ALL WE NEED NOW IS YOU!

Thanks Sue for the lovely badge. I had no doubt it would be beautiful. I will post again soon with all the details. Please keep the month of November open and tell your friends. This is gonna be really special!

love, litebeing

Pluto station – purge, clear, forgive, release

Howdy litebeings! Pluto  in Capricorn stations direct this Sunday 9-30-18. This event occurs on the heels of Venus stationing retrograde on 10-5-18 in Pluto ruled Scorpio ( where Jupiter currently resides). The convergence of Saturnian, Jupiterian and Plutonian energies is quite palpable. Just look to the societal dramas as they escalate to a profound cathartic crescendo.

This station is a BIG deal!  Enjoy this reblog that provides some helpful tools and insights, Do the work, I promise to  continue to work alongside of you.

  Namaste, litebeing

Disclosure

Hey litebeings and welcome to all the new readers and followers! Mars went direct this morning and this is a hopeful sign of advancement in the weeks ahead. My mood is still really funky, but as I have mentioned here at some point, my moods tend to shift more quickly than in years past.

My philosophy regarding controversial topics is to keep an open mind and let your intuition guide you towards the truth. I have recently become aware of the site Collective Evolution and I enjoy it very much. The material is interesting and appears to be balanced.  The people affiliated with Collective Evolution have a bright and lively energy, which shines through strongly.

They are offering one more day to view the following video for free. See the link below:

https://explorers.collective-evolution.com/wilcock-replay/

This video features David Wilcock’s take on Disclosure and the fall of the Cabal.  I posted David once on this blog and the reaction was mixed. Hell , my reaction remains mixed! But I received so much worthwhile information so I want to share it here. I have had plenty of time on my hands to research topics that used to turn me off. But here’s the thing, so much of what I am about  may be controversial to any particular segment of society. I have studied astrology since age 7 and have accessed psychic abilities and pre-cognitive dreams since my teens. And I could go on…

The point I am trying to make is that I would fail to grow if I said no to anything that was new or mysterious to me. Sometimes I take just a smidgen of what is offered and leave the rest. We get to decide what works for us for the highest good. As always, all reactions and comments are welcome.

Clearing Away for a Faerie Future

Whew! We survived another Eclipse season. When I think back to where I was one year ago during the August eclipses, I am so grateful to be here now. Not to say that this summer has been a party, but hey, I have grown quite a bit since then. There really is no other choice. Many mornings I wake up with a heaviness of a sense of dread, wondering if I am picking up collective energies, or my own. Sometimes the clarity I seek alludes me. Yesterday was a very social day for me and it was very celebratory in a true Leonine manner. I had such a lovely time with friends, one of which is a Leo. Today had a darker vibe and  a couple of hours ago I heard some horrific news about a woman who died way too young. She was not a patient, but someone I knew as a teen.  But I will not let it drag me down. I will absorb the information and then let it go.  It will be added to the clearing pile.

Let me elaborate: I have been dedicating myself to clearing away debris, literally and metaphorically. It has become almost an obsession for me, emerging from my higher self.  I recently hired a service to clear out an old tv and desktop from my place, which made room to organize more stuff. There comes a time when you will ultimately know what no longer suits you. This retrograde period has allowed me to release old memories from high school, courtesy of a high school reunion Facebook group. I find it interesting that while I am processing and discarding,  pleasant memories of people and places are coming back into consciousness. I must admit that the internet is a fine tool for refreshing the details, but then again, what IS the internet really? Energy like everything else in existence.

While synchs are a daily event, the truly mystical has eluded me for quite some time. But a subtle discovery brought magick back into focus:

It has been difficult the past few days to find parking near my door, so I have had to park further away. Why, I wondered, was this happening? Maybe so I could find this lovely feather today while walking to my car. I would not have seen it otherwise. I have not found a feather like this in about  2 years , so it grabbed my attention, and what you attend to expands. These type of experiences strengthen my faith that all is really well, even in the midst of stagnation and chaos.

Sometimes clearing is metaphorical or occurs on a parallel plane. I am a computer game enthusiast. I really like building cities so I am attracted to games that focus on this angle.  Elvenar  is a Facebook game that has a mystical feel. There are several worlds to play in and the builder can focus on human or non-human realms. When I reached a certain level I was close to the fairy realm. I was prompted to sell most of what I had built over years to clear the way for a new type of fairy technology. I found myself resisting this process. I did not want to undo all this work and leave my city practically bare.

Then it hit me, this is where I am headed on my ascension journey. I must be able to sit with emptiness and continue dismantling what doesn’t fit into my life anymore. I told myself ” Linda, listen to the fairy prompt and sell your stuff!”. My city has miniature humans and a few fairies now walking among my city streets. The city is in flux and has plenty of room to breathe.  This is where I need to be.

Isn’t it ironic that on the morning that the game suggested I convert to a fairy avatar that this huge beetle showed up to greet me? I saw the beetle at the exact moment that I was trying out the new avatar.  Beetle medicine is about transformation after-all. You all may wonder how much time I am devoting to computer games, but unemployment has its perks (Or not).

My header image is a faith plaque I purchased last December. I participated in a Secret Santa at work and someone mentioned buying small gifts in anticipation of the Secret Santa event. I was at Cracker Barrel and saw the plaques. I liked them so much that I bought one for my coworker and one for myself. I figured it would be a nice addition to my office. I look at it daily to remind me that faith has a place in my spiritual practice. I don’t hold the philosophy that some otherworldly being will save me, but rather that my time here is on purpose and that guidance is a certainty.

The video below is a song written by Jon Bon Jovi for Stevie Nicks. It is quite on point regarding living with what appears and embracing the mystery. I dedicate this song and this post to all who have left this planet too soon. While it seems to me that the number of souls taking the nearest exit are increasing exponentially, that does not diminish the value they hold or the love they still engender.

Uranus Retrograde ~ Be Here Now

I am echoing the sentiments of the iconic Ram Dass , suggesting we all do our best to chill and refrain from engaging in major activities in the environment.  This essay directs us to do the opposite of what I advised back in January when all planets were moving in direct motion. This is because tomorrow Uranus goes retrograde, joining Mercury, Mars, Saturn, Neptune, and Pluto. Venus ( soon to join the party on October 5th) and Jupiter are the only planets moving forward at this time. Look to where 2 degrees Taurus lands in your natal chart to see where the Great Awakener rocks your world. Stationing points can be quite powerful depending on how they impact you personally in terms of sign, house position, and relationships with where the planets were positioned at the time of  birth.

Honestly, with all the various energies emerging at us all at once, it is difficult to be able to distinguish why we are experiencing what we are experiencing. This is why continuous self-care is so important. But you already knew that didn’t you? My self- care regime varies, but my current practice consists of daily meditation, mindfulness, clearing away clutter, gratitude, and aromatherapy. All of these strategies contribute to more clarity and openness.

wikipedia.org pub domain

When there are too many activities or conflicting ideas to juggle, it is natural to succumb to feelings of overwhelm and confusion. When I reflect back on early 2018, I wish I could have been bolder and capitalized on more new ventures. But my plate was full with all the curve balls thrown my way. I truly believe that we always do the best we can, even when we resort to self-judgement. For example, just a few hours ago, I did not have the energy or drive to complete this post. But after meditation, the impulse to continue writing brought me back here to the draft folder and voila, a blog is born.

While I find it challenging to be able to tease out which particular energy is operating with the most fervor, spending more time within certainly makes this task more manageable. For instance, transiting Jupiter made its second hit to my sun late yesterday and I was hoping for an explosion of joy. That did not happen, but it is likely that this positive influence has tempered some of the more noxious energies currently at play. With multiple eclipses, an unusually strong retro pattern, along with solar flares and God knows what else, ( humidity?), life here on Gaia has become increasingly more complicated. Astrology is magical and my lifelong passion, but it is not a panacea. We live in a time where more is being asked of us and reality is more fragile than ever. So what is the solution? I don’t have an easy answer, but I know that listening to one’s guidance is crucial. Twice this week I have been faced with situations that were very unsettling. Many times in the past I would rationalize them away, or make the “easier” choice and then worry excessively about it afterwards. But not this time. I took a breath, listened more intently, and made the more nuanced, complicated choices. This way I will have less worry and probably no regret. This is my version of living authentically. My intuition was imploring me to undo decisions that may have been harmful. I took the road less traveled. Now I ‘ll wait and see what happens.

What can one expect with Uranus retracing his steps? It will be different for everyone, but surprises and unusual energetic movement is likely. With Mars moving back into Capricorn, some of the wild currents may dissipate, but you never know. Some possible manifestations are circulatory problems, new and exciting encounters, sudden insights, technological irregularities ( especially while Mercury is still retro), and weather anomalies. Like I stated earlier, the location of transiting Uranus in your natal chart makes all the difference. Those who have planets in late Aries or early Taurus may feel this transit more intensely. With Uranus, you really never know.

Let me finish with a few birthday wishes for some of my blogettes: Cheers to Ka, Debra, Dayna, Renate, and Julianne. As the sun travels to my descendant ( 7th house of other),  it is wonderful to have so much awesome company who were born at this time.

header image by © litebeing chronicles, non-header images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Winter Review ~ Radical Empathy

Since some of my strongest writing mojo occurs when the Moon is in Taurus ( my natal 3rd house) I figured I would eke out a quick blog. This is the next segment in the  Winter Review “of weirdness” series ( in which I extended Winter from 9/17 through 3/18.)  The Thanksgiving 2017 period was fraught with challenges, a virtual shit storm, so let me tell you about that three-week time frame. While there were minor astrological happenings during this 3 week period, nothing extreme was at play.  No eclipses or major planetary transits, nada.

Since I did not have Black Friday off, I stayed home for the holiday and that was fine. Three days later I noticed strange pain emanating from my right hand. It quickly developed into a rash with blisters. I had examined both at work ( we have a nursing team) and 2 doctors. I was given anti viral meds and the area was biopsied. A couple of days later I develop hives from the anti-viral medication!

Kokoa

Fortunately I was able to have the time off to see a specialist since I was home anyway. This is because 2 days after I developed the finger inflammation,  I was in a three car collision. It took place right by Parx Casino, just a few minutes from my work. A car hit me from behind, causing my car to hit the car in front of me. I was increasingly upset as both drivers of the other cars fled the scene! I pulled off the road and called the police. My car aka Kokoa, was damaged, but I was able to drive it home. It is interesting to note that at the time of impact I was thinking about a recent news article I had read just days earlier, highlighting an intersection nearby as notoriously dangerous. And then boom!, I was hit! Sometimes I get a heads up and other times it is just a fear program inside my head.

The car took a few weeks to repair and I was offered a Mercedes as a rental for a very cheap rate. I forget exactly why, but it had to do with the amount of time needed to rent and their lack of choice of vehicles. It was so strange driving this Mercedes around. I was afraid I would damage it and it did not feel like a car I ought to drive. And yet, I welcomed to experience what it might be like to be affluent. I did enjoy the seat warmers and the keyless remote. I also liked how the mirrors would turn in when you lock the vehicle. I also wondered how I would be received on the road. I notice that SUVs and luxury cars seem to expect plenty of leeway. So this was  a chance to reinvent my driving persona.

wikipedia public domain

Meanwhile a week or so later I find out my hand condition is a contagious virus, with confusion about the diagnosis ( typical with my alien Aquarius rising body.) So I am at a training on AIDS and the trainer talks about getting a call from the health department. The next week we have another training with the same instructor. This is the day I get to pick up Kokoa from the shop. While at work I check my phone messages and I get a voicemail from the health department! I am thinking I may be HIV positive and I panic. I finally get the right person on the phone and find out they were inquiring about the virus on my hand, WTF? I was not notified that anyone had contacted the health department and I was pissed, yet relieved. So  I am driving to the auto shop and a cop pulls me over in the Mercedes, claiming I ran a red light. Here I am trying to get to the shop before it closes and I am stuck  waiting for the ticket to be completed.  Then I get home and see I have only one earring on. So along with everything else, I lost a new amethyst earring, which remains missing despite my efforts to retrieve it at work and the auto shop. Plus now I am worried I have too many points and may face a license suspension! How would I get to work? I am also aware that the drivers in both recent car accidents, (4/17 and 11/17) walked away while I paid several hundred dollars for car rental and repairs. The cop implies I should come to court. Weeks later I do go to court and he offers me a plea and changes the charges! So my points are removed, but they get more money from me in fees. Can anyone say SCAM ?

freerangestock.com

This was a lot of chaos in only a few short weeks, most of it occurring in the span of 2 days. I am still getting body work ( chiro and massage) to address my injuries, and have improved significantly. The massage therapist practices astrology so we talk about all things metaphysical each week. I still get recurrent outbreaks on both hands from this mystery virus, but it seems to be lessening in frequency and in intensity.

What did I learn? There is still no resolution to my mystery ailment or the odd synchronicity concerning learning about health department involvement at training and my subsequent call from the health department. I will share what I learned from my newish car Kokoa enduring two hit and runs within less than one year ; the first almost totaling the car, and the last causing me some physical and emotional distress. This is the situation that eventually led to clarity. After the speedy accumulation of so much fear, trauma, and anger, I was able to appreciate that the drivers are just ordinary humans, making poor choices. While I did not witness the first accident, I was there for the second one and saw the driver leaving the casino and driving recklessly, probably texting or drunk or both. The casino crowd is typically in a hurry to get to and from this  establishment. I could picture myself as a younger version of me, partying too hard and being careless.  I could also, eventually, see myself as the driver in the first accident – apparently wearing a hijab ( according to eye-witnesses) , racing up the hill and slamming right into my parked car, and successfully evading the efforts to be located and made accountable by the insurance company. Her vehicle was a painted over police car and had a very dark vibe. I tried to imagine a person who works the system and is troubled,  attempting to embrace her religious path. Yes, these are both stories I made up, but this is my process. It required a lot more time and work on my part to feel empathy for the first driver, because the accident seemed deliberate and malicious. However, that is just a judgement. Learning about my ancestry also helped mellow me a bit about those who are perceived as possible terrorists. I have had many judgments about women in the US with hajibs, based on my relationships with these particular women.  These judgments are ridiculous, but they were strongly held within me.  I see more and more each day how I could be any personality housed temporarily in any body with any set of circumstances and an ever-changing state of consciousness.

I also judged people who drive huge SUVS, Audis, Mercedes, and similar vehicles. Audis invariably tailgate with delight and without fail. Why, I don’t know, but this observation has made me very wary of this brand. All of these beliefs were based mostly on my encounters while driving. After a few weeks with the Mercedes, I realized quickly that I preferred my Honda and that Mercedes drivers are just souls in bodies! Imagine that! Like most of us, I have accumulated plenty of theories about people based on education, life experiences, or other people’s ideas. I do not want to be that person anymore.  Empathy can lead to forgiveness and I am pretty much living on Forgiveness Avenue. I still wonder why Kokoa has had so much drama, but I am learning to let it all go.

I consider this journey as a portal towards radical empathy, which differs from simply being sensitive to the energy of another being. It is about undoing years of negative ( and maybe ancestral) programming, feeling the hurt, and  finally releasing it back to Source.

Thanks for reading this not – so – short, short blog. Thanks also for helping me keep it real as I learn best in community. Most readers seem to prefer this raw unvarnished material, so enjoy this offering as a gift to you.

 

amethyst image courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain