Sundeelia: Coming Into Alignment With Higher Self

Eliza of blue dragon journal gifts us with a treat! Read with an open mind and open heart. ❤

Blue Dragon Journal

Coming Into Alignment with Higher Self

Aspects of Ascension – Impressions of a Pleiadian Walk-in

By Sundeelia VaCoupe, Specialty Commander Communications, ‘The White Winds’

In the course of being “here” on 3D Earth, I have observed the many permutations of various psyops variously called “religion”, spirituality including so-called “New Age teachings which were designed specifically by the Central Intelligence Agency in the mid-20th century. While my sister, Lady Tazjma, was present here, she posted channeled pieces and articles written by many people, some posing as ‘ascension teachers’, ‘guides’, and other self-appointed titles. I will make a simple and perhaps disturbing statement in response to these people who take themselves too seriously, charging other people money for their services, and invariably falling into ego traps: Spirituality or to truly live within Spirit is very simple. You don’t need books, lectures, videos, workshops, or other people how to tell you…

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Undone

Hi litebeings,

As promised, I am back. But sadly, I could not find time or energy to complete my draft for publication. You could say I have become a little undone. Or perhaps a bit obsessed with the Amazon Prime tv series Undone. I somehow wound up on Amazon Prime and seemingly found this show I knew nothing about. I watched the entire series in one sitting ( while recuperating from another GI episode)  and was completely captivated.

Yeah, it was that good.

Check out the trailer:

This sci-fi semi-animated series turns out to be considered one of the best new television shows of the season. Stunningly beautiful, witty, and unpredictable, I am surprised I had not heard of it on social media.  It is about many things but mostly leaves the viewer wondering if  Alma, the main character has a mental illness or is spiritually gifted. Sometimes I wish I could view my life this way, fast forward to the end to see how it turns out. However, Undone will be filming a second season, so both my life trajectory and this spectacularly mind-bending storyline will both remain mysteries. I find it quite interesting that I wound up watching this amazing show given that I am fascinated by this particular topic.

Maybe I am spiritually gifted, or am I just exhausted?

to be continued….

Reclaiming My Day 11/11/19

This autumn was less vibrant, or maybe I missed the foliage at its peak. You see, I was ill for over a month with a “mystery illness”. It came and went and later returned, near my birthday. My birthday was last Wednesday and I took the day off from work excited to see where the day would take me. But when I woke up in pain and so nauseated that I had to vomit, I know I wasn’t going anywhere. The feeling of nausea and the act of vomiting are among the most dreadful experiences to me. The fact that this happened on my birthday pissed me off! Vomiting rarely happens to me as an adult and the fact it happened on my day of rebirth was cruel. But, as usual, I adjusted to my circumstances and focused on feeling better. It appears ( not definitively ) that the new probiotics I am taking are making me sick.  After weeks of tests and no answers, I started to improve without treatment. The only change made was the elimination of my supplements, recommended by my GI specialist. At first, I was skeptical but went along anyway. After my test results returned to “normal”, the doctors were no longer interested in figuring out a diagnosis. So a few days later I went back on the probiotics and the symptoms returned. So I stopped taking them again and am also noticing a lessening of symptoms. How could this product that I considered life-saving be the culprit? Could it be a bad batch or some other reason? I don’t know.

I began leasing a car about 3 years ago, just a couple weeks before my birthday. So it was time to trade in Kokoa for a newer model. Say hello to Azia! I named her after the lovely blue color that reminds me of the astral. From astral I came up with Azia.  I chose this particular model because it is a very quiet ride. I revel in quiet these days, not to mention, standard features include a sunroof and heated seats! While not much brings me joy anymore, I hoped a new car would help because I really dig cars. I also like the free trial of Sirius Radio but really miss not having a CD player. So much has become obsolete in these “modern times. ”

Please enjoy this song that also helped inspire Azia’s name:

The past few days have been exhausting and liberating, all leading up to a new start for me. I took two risks, one planned and one rather spontaneous. At a book club with my Social Work group, I disclosed something very private. I barely gave it a minute of contemplation. Someone in the group shared a personal story and I was moved. I decided to be authentic and see what happens. It was a chance to be more vulnerable, but there was more to it. Later I realized that I was challenging some of the older LCSWs on how non-judgmental and inclusive they really are. Behind the political correctness and blind obedience to ethics, I wondered ” Will they walk their talk? ” It turns out that I still know how to shut up a room! It is disheartening to see that I still feel superior or above the established groups I belong to, but not ( hopefully) in a narcissistic way. People are people and most I encounter have little consciousness. Part of me already knew I might be rejected, but I was feeling rejected in other sectors of my life anyway.

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The second risk I took happened yesterday. I fired my clinical supervisor, this judgmental, rigid, mean woman who I have paid to provide me with supervision to prepare me for a higher level of licensure. I have worked with her off and one since 2017, the second of three people I have hired to walk me through this minefield. She has misled me about many things and I let them go. She does not respect my wishes, she is petty, and sometimes passive-aggressive. She will not be accountable for any mistakes she makes and has threatened to end our association a few times. She is unpredictable and often remembers events very differently from my recollections. I kept this going because of fear I would not find someone else affordable, nearby, and able to meet me outside of my work schedule. But after a few sleepless nights, I decided enough was enough. I did not have the courage to confront her directly but I left a detailed voicemail on her phone. I was also afraid she would sabotage my LCSW application if I stayed with her. I wonder why I keep attracting these cold women into my life after so much therapy and other forms of inner work. Maybe so that I can continue to take better care of me? I have not found a new replacement, but I am glad I let her go. So many people abuse their power and do not question how they handle their responsibilities. I hope I will choose better next time.

So what about my blog title? When will I write about 11-11? Patience is a virtue, right? I decided I would take back my birthday this weekend if I felt up to it. I enjoy time alone to travel somewhere and indulge in activities that bring me pleasure and/or peace. Today I felt well enough to drive to South Street and visit a new find and an old haunt. Dishes that feature fall flavors are among my favorites and I planned on going somewhere for Oktoberfest. That did not happen so today I discovered the very popular Brauhaus Schmitz.

Doesn’t that look good? It is schnitzel with mushroom sauce, cabbage, and spaetzle. I could not finish it all, but it was delicious. The cabbage was amazing, so yummy with the mushroom sauce. Authenticity matters to me, in cuisine and in people!

A few blocks away is The Garland of Letters, a bookstore that opened in 1972, way before my college days when South St was one of my typical hangouts. It is reassuring that it still remains in its original location, featuring all the spiritual books and gifts anyone could wish for.

This is my little present to me from me, a cool book about chakras that I just had to have. I wanted something I could take back home with me to carry on the 11-11 energy. Going downtown did shift my awareness and increase my vibration. I felt it rather quickly. Synchs were happening with regularity and my mood brightened. I was also delighted to notice that fall foliage was rather abundant in Center City. I took a few shots from my car ( while the vehicle was stopped).

I am aware that today’s blog could have been spread over several posts, but I see it as a complete story. Existence can be dark and hopeless and full of pain, regrets, and lost opportunities until the opposite emerges. Birthdays or solar returns, whichever you prefer, is a time of reflection for me. This was not a stellar year in many respects, months of illness, much upheaval, disappointment, and displacement. Yet, chakra bibles, trees bursting with color, and liberation can manifest, sometimes when hope is lost and letting go is the only choice that works. So I chose a new birthday this year and hope the memories I made will reverberate throughout the next solar cycle.

HAPPY 11 – 11 TO YOU!

We were looking for your Blog

Happy Samhain season litebeings! It is not really on Halloween, more mid-Scorpio, so you have missed nothing yet. I plan to post today as more of a journal-style entry, experimenting with a new technique. Re-working one’s writing style is très Mercury Retrograde you know?

So here goes nothing:

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I have come to the conclusion, as of today, that all points of view are true, that no one is ever wrong, regardless of intelligence, morality, logic, or dishonest leanings. It is pointless to argue with anyone if the goal is to change someone’s opinion. Motivational Interviewing is a therapy technique used to connect with people who have sought ( or were mandated to seek) therapy. The idea is to allow the client to be where they are, be supportive, assess where they are in terms of readiness for change, and point out any discrepancies between their goal and their choices. This strategy acknowledges it is futile to try to force someone’s hand.

This idea triggered my mind to retrieve a quote I like ” If someone wants to leave your life, let them. ” It goes something like that. Basically, it implies that we are better off without those people at this time. They no longer belong in your life.  Reminds me of the three levels of teaching in Manual for Teachers in A Course in Miracles. Time spent together is unimportant, since time is a construct. What is important is what one gains from the teaching/learning potential during the course of the encounter.

What’s my point? We all exist in a separate plane of being, our own dimension/frequency that is rarely static. We are all one, but not in physical form. So each individual expression of energy has its own universe ( one – song). I do believe that there can be an overlap between 2 people or more, but not for extended intervals. These overlaps are fleeting more often than not. So if someone doesn’t “get me” and my efforts to connect are rejected and/or thwarted, it is best to just surrender. I cannot seem to attract many kind, decent authority figures into my orbit, at least not for a good stretch of time. I keep attracting cold, passive-aggressive, manipulative types who control something I need, like a paycheck or my LSCW. I feel beyond exhausted. I know my childhood was fraught with toxicity, but I also thought I had done more than my share of inner work and clearing the crap out of ” my field. ”

It feels like most people have no idea who I am or what I want or hope to accomplish. Today I had an image of my life being over while still breathing – meaning that it is possible to have exhausted one’s life force. I equate this with a product that has expired. You can still use it, but its quality has diminished because it is no longer in its prime or at its peak expression of vitality. Could my life force be compared to moldy cheese?

Perhaps this is why I was initially excited when a coworker greeted me yesterday with these words ” We were looking for your blog today. ”

What?

I told a friendly coworker that I am an astrologer after we discovered our birthdays are 4 days apart ( different year). She shares an office with a colleague who I find challenging. Anyway, I asked them both how their week went and if it was as bizarre as mine has been.  Then  I mentioned the frustrations of Mercury Retrograde. They had no idea what I meant.  Said challenging person’s face lit up though when I mentioned astrology and was excited when I said I am an astrologer. She asked if I have a business and I said that I advertise on my blog.  She wondered if I could do some astro type activities for her program if her boss agrees.

I wasn’t sure about this. After all, people in 2019 still are judgy about all the woo. So even while hearing the word blog uttered in the office was lovely, I told her that my blog is anonymous and I am not sure I feel ready to share myself that deeply at work. No one really pushed the issue, but for a moment I thought that maybe I am still alive, not sure though. Figured I better blog again and see what happens next.

PS: Move your clocks back one hour tonight if you live in the US.

 

Book Review : The Little Soul and the Sun

litebeing’s note: I have re-posted a section of a blog I wrote in 2014 to showcase this book review. It just occurred to me that if we truly want to save this planet and each other, we need to be kinder, forgive more, resent less, and become more open to each other. This is not about the “other”, rather it is about recognizing there is no one outside of ourselves. Separation is an illusion. This children’s book is truly a gift to all children of Creation, reminding us to see the Divine everywhere and all-ways.

It was nearly fourteen years ago when I first was introduced to The Little Soul and the Sun by Neale Donald Walsch.  After gazing at it on Amazon for a long time ( could not find it offline), I finally ordered it.  The package arrived a few days ago and we had a joyous reunion! To read it again after all this time is so empowering and certain passages triggered a profound crying spell. These were tears of recognition of the power of the Source and my longing for that complete connection. Shortly after I had my awakening during the Summer of 2005 I returned to a very chaotic work situation. Many people had moved on and the entire leadership team of my department was in flux. One of my supervisors ( one of the few who remained) was led to bring me a book to borrow. He had never done so before. He came to my cubicle and said that he wanted me to read this book because it will help me deal with a very difficult dilemma. He handed me this children’s book. I am thinking ” Why is he giving me a children’s book?” When I saw that the author was Neale Donald Walsch, creator of the Conversation with God series, I was happy to dig in.

This beautifully illustrated tale is about the purpose of the human experience and the contracts we make with one another in order to help us fulfill our unique expression of the Divine. It tells the tale of one soul who wanted to live the wonder of his being through physical expression on Earth and chose to experience the nature of forgiveness. This short story succinctly explains the role of darkness in the Universe and why this physical world is ” all pretend.” It is indeed a children’s book, but I enjoyed it as much or more than many of the heady metaphysical material that I pore through on a regular basis. The main theme is to forgive one another for any perceived wrongdoing and to recognize that we are all loving beings of light.

I understood the reason my supervisor lent me this book, yet I was unable to forgive this coworker who was to play a powerful role in my workgroup. I did not have the support necessary to deal with her daily, and look beyond her current persona that was quite untrustworthy and manipulative. While I understood that a great life lesson was before me, I simply was unprepared to take this challenge on. Not at this time.

I ultimately used this situation to once and for all make a clean break from a system that I had outgrown. This coworker actually did me a huge favor by being a catalyst that set these events in motion. By the way, I  lent my supervisor Dan Millman’s The Way of the Peaceful Warrior in exchange for his kind gesture.  It was the least I could do!

I highly recommend this book to anyone who wants a major heart-opening. This may seem paradoxical to many, but often the simpler texts teach me more about life than the scholarly ones. Perhaps this is why I am so drawn to poets like Rumi. He packed millennia of lifetimes condensed into mere sentences. Sometimes less is more. Check out Sindy’s post here to read the entire story!

May we all become wiser, stronger, more conscious and kinder to ourselves and everyone who crosses our path.

book image courtesy of amazon.com

Sick Day Summary

It has been so long since I have published anything original. Working 4 ten hour days a week ( including evenings) has left me tired or depleted energetically more often than not. I think about this blog and community often and I want you all to know you are with me every step of the way.

The way has been busy and productive but tinged with loneliness, anxiety, and dread. I am grateful to have a job I enjoy where I can see what I have helped create. Yet I feel very insecure, waiting for the other foot to drop. I am lucky to have people I can discuss my worries with, but it is not always enough. So many years of underemployment or unemployment have left me shaky and uneasy. With both transiting Pluto and Saturn trudging around my 12th house, I understand where some of this malaise is rooted. But still, it persists.

My relationship with my mother remains fractured and this saddens me, and yet, it seems to be more real. I try to balance my awareness of her advancing age with my need to let her know that we have mostly been strangers to one another throughout our entire relationship.  I work on remaining careful not to hurt her and still communicate as directly and plainly as I can. I want to be the bigger person but it is difficult when I am the bigger person all over my life. There are so few people who can comfort me and hear me and really accept me just as I am. So I strive to be that person for me. Learning to love yourself IS the greatest love of all.

I called out sick today and it was much needed. I am happy to report my body is on the mend, so my choice to stay home was a sound one. With Mercury retrograde, I still had to spend unwanted time contacting colleagues because of communication breakdowns.  I have been feeling so tired lately. The astro weather isn’t helping either. My uncle died and my boss quit his job within days of each other during this eclipse cycle.  Two different events; one natural, the other seemingly unexpected. I recently concluded my uncle was the last male relative of the generation before mine.  I did not know him well. We were not close, but he is a symbol of my childhood and he was a decent man. Uranus most likely messed with his Taurus sun, but he lived a long life, seemingly content.

My boss is one of the nicest supervisors I have ever worked with. Spoiler alert: when I am fortunate enough to get a great boss, they usual resign shortly after I am hired. He stayed for almost 6 months of my tenure and that is a record. He is a double Pisces, so of course, we got along. He has his faults, but he is so good with people, so kind, and so caring. A real lightworker. I did not see his resignation coming, but here it is. I have a history of scary supervisors replacing the nice ones, but I can rewrite this old narrative. In fact, I already have: ” I have learned so much about this new job setting and mastered so many new tasks while working with this person. He believes in me and is not afraid to be complimentary and recognize hard work. I saw how authority does not have to be used to gain power and control. I appreciate the time I worked with him and the impact he has made.”

I am grieving him, even while he still is working with me for a few more weeks. I assumed I would leave before he would. Oh well, I was mistaken. I do not do loss well, but over time I have been able to let go sooner and easier. This is growth. Speaking of loss, I have had a few dreams lately featuring my first cat Jasmine. I have no digital pictures of her to post, but I can describe her as a petite calico with green eyes. She was gorgeous and independent and aloof. But she was my first baby and I adopted her at about 7 weeks old. She lived with me for 16 years. Dexter was bigger than life, but Jasmine taught me about how to nurture another. It is curious why she is emerging in dreamtime, but it is cool to see her again happy and thriving.

This catchup post is a hodgepodge of topics, quickly assembled from the recesses of my mind and heart, but it feels liberating to share my ramblings with you on this cooler than usual July evening. So much remains uncertain, but one idea rings true: service with passion equals a full heart and warm soul.

Seeing Ain’t Believing

Ever since Ascension has become a hot topic in metaphysical/spiritual circles, I have wondered if some or all of my odd physiological ailments were due to upgrades or plain 3D aging. I still do not have any clear answers, but figured the current Sun square Neptune aspect was a great time to explore this latest mystery.

Back in March, I had just begun a new job which included working nights. My night vision is not so hot and my eyes tire after spending long hours in front of a computer screen. About 20 minutes after arriving home one night, I tune into a favorite TV series. It is hard to follow the storyline because there is a disco ball flashing inside my head. At least that is what it looks like to me. For close to half an hour I see gold lights quickly flashing  within my field of vision, in both eyes. I was really scared, but hoping for the best outcome. After freaking a few years back after the floaters arrived, I decided not to panic. I told myself that if this incident was a ” one and done”, there would be no need to take action. The floaters, ( dark shadowy figures that enter from the corner of the eye) turned out to be nothing, according to my ophthalmologist. So this weirdness dissipated, never to return. But when a Facebook friend posted about eye flashes and retinal surgery, I went into panic mode. I saw the new doctor ( as mine had retired) who minimized the whole affair and concluded my retinas were fine before she examined them. She diagnosed me with ocular migraines and claimed I have a history of them. ( No I did not, I had old- fashioned migraine headaches; I would have remembered an in-house disco show.) Ocular migraines are “brain farts” that show up in the field of vision, related to auras that some people experience before experiencing a migraine episode. I have not seen auras yet, neither the migraine kind or the energy – field observed above one’s crown chakra variety.

A few weeks after the ophthalmologist visit, I saw a light green light on someone’s jacket at work. I surmised it was a reflection from something outside the window. When I noticed the same colored light the next morning in the bathroom, I panicked. ” Why am I seeing colors that are not there? ” I do not use magic mushrooms or take acid or other hallucinogens. I am not sleep deprived nor am I losing my mind. I was worried I might be losing my eyesight though. So I called the ophthalmologist office and told the assistant about my symptoms. She called back after consulting with the doctor and assured me this is an ocular migraine. I did not recall being told during my checkup that seeing colors was another possible sign of an ocular migraine. Did you know that this type of migraine is not related to the eyes but to the visual cortex part of the brain?

Apparently, this phenomenon is rare, which makes sense to me. I tend to develop odd or rare health issues ( Aquarius rising with an angular Uranus and strong Saturn in Capricorn). But it does beg the question, why now? Are there more visual hallucinations in my future? Per usual, I was told no one really knows about their origins or how to prevent them, except to avoid stress. Okay, no more stress for me then!

wikipedia.org pub domain

I wish I could tell if there is a mystical component here, maybe a 5D upgrade perhaps? Or is it simply another manifestation of an aging body and a stressful life? Or is it both? Or neither? I wish I had a clue. I really do.

Please share in the comments if you have had a similar eye event.

An inquiring mind ( mine) wants to know.

Some may find it exciting, but my hold on reality does not need this type of excitement. I was never a fan of disco and grew up during the Disco Sucks movement. Maybe I feel this way because of some of the songs played on a continuous loop during my formative years.

Like this one:

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Tree House Refuge

I knew upon seeing this sign that it would be prominently placed in a future post. We are always one, whether we like it or acknowledge it. It just is. This entry is a follow up to my post in February about the treasures unleashed at a recent consult with my Spiritual Director. It took me a few months but I finally made it over to Morris Arboretum to revisit their TreeHouse exhibit. I picked a day that turned out to be warmer than expected and the place was packed with families and their young children. As an introvert, my pursuit of peace was not found during this trip. Yet, the TreeHouse was lovely and the Rose Garden was in full bloom. And then I discovered the Garden Railway was back “on track.” Sorry, I had to go there!

While this excursion ( only about 10 minutes from home) was neither mystical or freeing, the photos I took are lovely and the signage about Interconnection was not lost on me. Here are a few shots from the Arboretum:

The sky was so vibrantly blue and I had seen so much of the place with fresh eyes. But it was almost closing time and I was feeling oddly dehydrated so my exploration was put on hold for another time.

You see, the day before my visit was very intensely emotional for me and I felt quite depleted.  Sadly, the  ” Treehouse refuge ” I was seeking still remains elusive. I still have much to process as my recent homecoming was certainly not idyllic. I am in no hurry though. I have learned not to rush the process. My spirit does feel some comfort though from my snapshots of nature on this ordinary Spring afternoon. I hope you find them comforting as well.

 

Make Earth Great Again ~ Earth Day 2019

Here is the version I meant to publish, but you can never have enough tributes to Gaia!

I adore Bill Maher and borrowed his tagline from last night’s New Rules segment as the title for this post. I do not think that Earth is not already great, but I do think it urgently needs extreme nurturing and collective respect. Sometimes a catchy slogan makes a difference. It did in the US presidential campaign.

While Bill’s rant is a bit satirical, he is a passionate environmentalist who often features activist scientists on his show. Check out this video and leave me your comments below:

Happy Earth Day!

image credits ~ litebeing chronicles © 2019