Musings ~ Losing My Voice

Faras_Saint_Anne_(detail)

I cannot find my voice. No, I do not mean this metaphorically. I have developed laryngitis. For someone who spends most of their time talking, this is significant. It effects my day-to-day communication and livelihood. When I was in graduate school earning my counseling degree, I excitedly exclaimed to my peers several times ” I cannot believe I am going to get paid just to talk to people!” Such a Moon in Gemini statement, that’s for sure. And so very cool!

This current bout of laryngitis is due to the tail end ( I hope) of a rather insidious and dreadful cold, sinus infection , allergy “thingy” I acquired a couple of weeks back. I have only experienced this phenomenon a few times in my life. I vividly remember one instance when I was scheduled to interview for a somewhat prestigious internship placement. I had a meeting with the director of a highly regarded inpatient psychiatric trauma unit. I really wanted this internship and was very torn about cancelling the interview. Once I realized I really had no choice, I rescheduled. I felt embarrassed and was worried I would lose this opportunity. Yet there was a thread of inevitability about my predicament. I surrendered to this thread and it worked out fine. I was granted the internship and it was an incredible learning experience.

The symbolic power of an experience such as this is rarely lost on me. Clearly there are words I need to say, thoughts that require expression, sounds that need articulation. What are they now? I am typically so outspoken and verbose beyond belief, yet something is being restricted and muted. I plan to spend some time looking into this matter. When Saturn is making a major transit, restrictions and limitations are the new normal. This year has really been so much more arduous than 2013, with Saturn over my Sun Neptune Mercury. I continue to make peace with what is , rather than go to battle armed with frustration and angst. I will be quiet, much to Dexter’s dismay. He ‘s grown so accustomed to my voice! I will listen more and go for the spaciousness, Eckhart Tolle style.

While I do feel uncomfortable, ridiculously mucus-filled and seconds away from my next hacking cough, teachable moments abound.

I cannot talk with you, but in the meantime ……

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-JQ1q-13Ek

Where is your thread of inevitability?

image courtesy of wikimedia.org public domain

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28 thoughts on “Musings ~ Losing My Voice

  1. Dear Linda, I hope that the vocal cords are now twanging back into shape.. and Dexter is now covering his ears with his paws Lol 🙂 Kidding aside… I hope that you are healing and gathering strength… I am certain you are taking in all the ‘Signs’ this bout has given you… 🙂 and you will emerge stronger as you give voice to your new role as you harmonise with those around you..

    Wishing you healing thoughts and much love dear Linda.. xox Have a beautiful week,,,
    Love Sue xox

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    1. So far very little of my voice has returned, but I feel like the worst is behind me. My body never lies ( like Shakira’s hips lol!) so I do my best to listen.

      I hope we both have an awesome week filled with joy.

      hugs, Linda

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  2. oh linda! i hope that you are feeling better and better! i love the way you are choosing to view this…but i can imagine how frustrating it may be. when i’m feeling ill, the control freak in me does not like it one bit and demands that things return to normal ASAP- hehe. 🙂 sending you tons of love and uber good wishes. xo aleya

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  3. It’s so true that when we are undergoing some unpleasant, uncomfortable or unusual condition, all we want for it is to end as soon as possible and that we return to our usual condition. I think you are brave to stick with this experience (while of course taking care of yourself and getting better). I’ve had this happen to me on one occasion and remember how much other people’s reactions to my lack of voice amused me. And I thought it was fun to have to express myself in other ways than by using my voice. But I admit that it was at the same time frustrating and that I was sometimes anxious for it to end…
    Thinking of you and sending you much love for a quick recovery xox

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  4. Sending warm wishes for healing Linda!

    I do love the theory that our sicknesses are somehow transformative, but that doesn’t mean it’s a whole lot of fun. 😦
    Much love,
    Debra

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  5. Oh, my little sister! Who has stolen your voice? It is villain virus. Go home on your planet, Virus The Villain. You are King of Viruses, and You should go home! Linda is ours, she is Queen of Light. Her voice is precious on our planet.
    Sending healing warmness of my heart to you, beautiful Linda!

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  6. Sending good vibes… very familiar with psychosomatic illnesses (Mercury elevated, Uranus strong), nervous anxiety that manifests in stomach.

    Slowing down with abacus style beadwork, later writing, helped.
    May your time spent at the crossroads be fruitful in sideways.

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    1. you get it 🙂 With my Mars in Cancer in the 6th opp Sat, I am very familiar with stress related stomach stuff. Usually my stomach is my Achilles heel, but not today…

      Abacus bead work, fascinating!

      peace,
      lindalite

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  7. Wishing you wellness! I can tell that you are navigating this pretty well, and have decided that you can write using your voice (blog post). Ah, the hidden blessings. Interesting story about your ultimate success in the interview. I’m picturing communication as a sort of stream that flows; and, maybe after your larynx has healed up and the inflammation tamed a bit, your voice may flow with such music as never before. xo

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  8. Oh dear! I’m sure you’re doing this, but lots of herbal tea (bitters like chamomile and pao d’arco) with honey. Merc’s about to go retrograde, so maybe this is a early “trick” of his. 🙂
    Sending lots of healing light your way!

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