Transparently Yours

I could have written this today. May you find peace in this moment.

litebeing chronicles

Life requires courage, only the bold can continue to breathe in and breathe out. Existence on planet Earth, not for the faint of heart. Walking the path is the hero’s journey only. Cowards need not apply here. Fear is never far away, only a nuanced, inkling separates the being from the trap of despair.

Nature has its own secrets, only for the properly initiated. The rest of us counts the seconds, minutes, hours, between the first squeal and the final gasp. Linear time is a game that is tempting at first glance. And yet, the only way out is to quit playing.

The ocean is no joke. Either you learn to ride the waves or the waves ride you. Power is the ability to influence and Gaia’s a powerful mistress. Obey the silent cry within, never stray far from your truth, your core. Otherwise you may find your essence scattered…

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Make Earth Great Again ~ Earth Day 2020

Gaia is rebounding while most of us stay home. I don’t think this is a coincidence. MGHA ~ Make Gaia Healthy Again! Enjoy this “classic ” blog that still rings true today. Stay healthy everyone! 

I adore Bill Maher and borrowed his tagline from last night’s New Rules segment as the title for this post. I do not think that Earth is not already great, but I do think it urgently needs extreme nurturing and collective respect. Sometimes a catchy slogan makes a difference. It did in the US presidential campaign.

While Bill’s rant is a bit satirical, he is a passionate environmentalist who often features activist scientists on his show. Check out this video and leave me your comments below:

Happy Earth Day!

image credits ~ litebeing chronicles © 2019 and 2020

Morning All Day Long

Hello world, How are ya doing? I am stopping by with a shorter, more streamlined blog today. I  want to simply report where I am now in terms of living with a pandemic. I do not feel like creating an elaborate, clever, article. Not today. Today I am just gonna keep it barebones and real.

I have noticed how much time I spend in fear and how easily triggered I have become. At first, I thought it had to do with developing IBS and later Diverticulitis, but actually, it started way before then. When you come from a home that is unstable and dysfunctional, you learn how to fend for yourself and you become “on alert.” While I do not think I have PTSD, I do see my tendency to slide into anxiety as default mode connected with repeated trauma. Self-work and therapy(ies) have made a difference but new triggers are a challenge.

Here are some highlights of today: Seeing my new unemployment balance online, but no deposit into my account. Being eligible for federal stimulus check but being told “status not available” on the new IRS payment portal. This is not a portal I want to float into! Getting a call from a life insurance company saying my benefits will be cut off but I could buy a new policy. Needing a mask and almost ordering one online ( until I discovered it was made in China.) My new health insurance provider emailed me to welcome me, in 2 weeks. Just 2 more weeks without health insurance. That thought was prominent for the past few days as I was severely ill and wondered what would happen if I needed emergency care. I am so grateful I feel better today. I have decided to stop figuring out what caused the symptoms. I know stress is at play and that is all I need to know.

I did feel more energized today and went out on a brief walk. I left my phone at home as I wanted to be more present. I saw many gorgeous springtime blooms and a few trees displaying that mellow light green hue that I adore.

Some readers know my love of birds and how a cardinal inspired a piece of poetry on Grace. On two occasions, April 10th and today, I have had cardinal visitations. While it is common for sparrows or robins to come by on my terrace, I cannot remember a cardinal coming over to visit me. If so, it would have been documented on my blog before now! Below are some quick shots from April 10th and then from this morning. Notice how cardinal energy is getting closer…

The first two shots were on the 10th  and the rest were taken this morning. Many say cardinal energy is a connection with those who have departed and I do feel this is true for me. I cannot say who is visiting, but I am also seeing deceased relatives more in realtime. This brings me comfort as I feel more isolated after losing my work. I would tell my clients repeatedly how unpredictable life is and it is key to learn how to adapt without using. Boy, I had no idea just how unpredictable it could be. I lived through 9/11 and this feels like a creepier prolonged version.

A very lovely thought crossed my mind as I took my walk today. The sky was almost shimmering and I heard so many birds singing. This seemed unusual in the late afternoon. I looked up and felt that familiar peace I often had while staying at Pendle Hill. I have felt this wave of innocence come over me a few times since the social distancing/self- quarantine began. This feeling led me to sing a song that I also equate with Pendle Hill and peace.

Listen and may you also ride the wave of spirit before the cosmic separation:

Staycation is in Session

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I needed a staycation and I landed one – four days off in a row. That might not seem like a long time to you, and it isn’t, but I am grateful and it ain’t over yet!

I chose a time with Mercury stationing, Daylight Savings Time ( in the US ) and the full moon in Virgo. This was not really intentional, more a matter of practicality. My work schedule is changing and I will have to work at least a few hours Monday through Friday. So I wanted to celebrate my love affair with having Mondays off one last time by adding last Friday to the mix. The weather was great most of the time and I really made the most of this staycay.

Friday I enter Spring in  Paris, via a crepefest at Paris Bistro. The service was crappy ( rather than crepey) , but the ambiance is wonderful and my entree was great. Doesn’t this Coq Au Vin crepe look scrumptious?

I have adored crepes since I discovered The Magic Pan back as a youth. I still recall the salad with mandarin oranges and almonds and the crepe with chicken and broccoli. This place made me feel sophisticated and worldly, as any 9th house child would desire.

This fancy French lunch set the stage for a long weekend filled with both inner and outer exploration. So what’s next?

Behold the splendor of South Street’s Magic Garden. This truly magical place is mystically linked with my Sunday exploration. The mystical mystery continues …

As is often the case, I find excellent tv shows, movies, books, etc without any known effort. I search or scroll or stroll somewhere and land on hidden gems. Such was the case with Dispatches from Elsewhere, a limited series starring Jason Seigel and Sally Field. It is about ordinary lost souls finding themselves involved in a mysterious game that has serious implications. When I heard that the executive producer also was involved with Wayward Pines, I was very excited. Then I learned it was filmed exclusively in Philly, showcasing our outdoor art scene, I was hooked. Watching the show so far has my thinking more about the deep state versus ascension. It also created a longing to spend some time in Olde City. I had already decided I wanted to visit a museum, but I did not realize it would be The Museum of the American Revolution.  Getting a free admission pass sealed the deal.

Before we get ahead of ourselves, I want to mention that a lovely Indian lunch was had at Karma. Yes, the place is called Karma. I was going to get the buffet, but I arrived near the end of lunchtime and I was feeling Corona Virus weary so I ate off the menu. I had an interesting Chicken Xacuti dish, flavored with coconut milk and tamarind, tempered with a refreshing Mango lassi.

Little did I know that Karma played a role in my museum visit, ha! While I enjoyed the films and exhibits greatly, the highlight was all the synchs between the Revolutionary War and today. Parallel timelines perhaps? Thomas Paine was very enamored with the number 45. That has me thinking about the current US President,  45. Then while I was learning more about the role of Abigail Adams, I remembered a fascinating conversation I had last summer about the link between her and Marianne Williamson. 

Marianne led me back to Bernie Sanders and his revolution. The main theme of the Museum is ” What is a revolution and is the world still having one? ” This is a greatly profound theme for a museum. Bernie and Marianne go way back and I will admit I am in awe of both of them. Some other important findings were one origin of the word cabal, the realization that the war could not have ended successfully without Native Americans ( and the French). I walked away invigorated by the early Spring weather and the understanding that my adopted hometown is truly magical.

This image above of the interlocking circles of the 13 colonies was prominent throughout the museum. It made a great impression on me as I consider the spiritual overtones of the Founding Fathers ( and Mothers). Yes, they were imperfect but prescient.

Speaking of imperfect, I also binge-watched the new Hulu Documentary Hillary. I find the Clintons fascinating and really loved this new feature. It covers a lot of ground and showed Hillary unmasked, or at least partially vulnerable. I see plenty of her in my personality and attitude, except for the phoniness and ability to stay married to her serial womanizing husband. I appreciated it when she gave an honest assessment of herself. I also am blunt and outspoken and passionate ( and a Scorpio woman ). I know how my communication style can be divisive in the workplace. See the film and decide for yourself.

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I gotta go so I can watch the latest Dispatches episode, but I leave you with a photo taken recently in my backyard. Yup, Spring is approaching, but the living ain’t easy! Yes, that is from the song Summertime, but you get the idea. While I don’t want my Staycation to end, it was marvelous. Travel, food, history, spiritual truths, synchronicity and political intrigue work really well together.

It will have to do until the weekend comes.

 

header and Paris images ~ free domain via Pexels

Make Earth Great Again ~ Earth Day 2020

Gaia is rebounding while most of us stay home. I don’t think this is a coincidence. MGHA ~ Make Gaia Healthy Again! Enjoy this “classic ” blog that still rings true today. Stay healthy everyone! 

I adore Bill Maher and borrowed his tagline from last night’s New Rules segment as the title for this post. I do not think that Earth is not already great, but I do think it urgently needs extreme nurturing and collective respect. Sometimes a catchy slogan makes a difference. It did in the US presidential campaign.

While Bill’s rant is a bit satirical, he is a passionate environmentalist who often features activist scientists on his show. Check out this video and leave me your comments below:

Happy Earth Day!

image credits ~ litebeing chronicles © 2019 and 2020

Speaking What Is In My Heart.

Many of my readers also follow my dear friend Sue’s blog, but I am re-blogging her most recent post because I want as many folks as possible to receive her message and the energy behind it. Sue is such a blessing and her words and images are evocative and enlightening.

love, litebeing

Dreamwalker's Sanctuary

It is hard sometimes to speak what is on your mind, when there are no words to express what you feel. So I will just let my fingers do the talking as I allow my thoughts to flow freely.

At times it takes courage to pick up your Arrow of Truth, and speak it. But Time is running short!

Gaia is going through her own changes. She is causing many disruptions which are making us rethink, reshape and make huge life changes. Which in turn may bring uncertainties and fear, but many now are also sensing an urgency, to move, relocate, leave their unsatisfactory jobs or life styles. Or change the habits of a life time.

Or like me, you may just feel that need to escape into your own world, of peace and tranquillity as we reconnect deeper still within ourselves and our Earth Mother.

What we are witnessing…

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Ponder with Care

My long time bloggette buddy Julie nominated me a while back for the 3, 2, 1 Me Challenge.

The directions are as follows:

Please write a post about Ponder, and including two quotes on the subject, and nominate three other bloggers to blog about a word of your choosing.

I took a very long time to approach this challenge, which is not really my style. Yet I hesitated because I did not initially connect with the word ponder in terms of this assignment. Since it did not ” speak to me “, I filed it away, knowing I would return to it when the time was right. That time is now.

So what was my issue with the word ponder? My immediate reaction was that I used to ponder way too much and that my addiction to introspection was a trap. At some point I considered my intellect to be one of my superpowers. I relied on it way too heavily, to the point of minimizing other ” pursuits” like imagination and emotional expression. I was afraid of the power of sloppy vulnerability and felt safer in the mental realms of  rational ideas, logic, and analysis.

Eventually I came to the realization that messy, loose states of being were a gateway to living more authentically and not a sign of weakness. Fragility can have a sweet delicate quality that evokes awe. This is part of the spiritual path, plain and simple.

I chose the following quotes that include ponder within them. Let’s examine the first one:

A season of suffering is a small assignment when compared to the reward. Rather than begrudge your problem, explore it. Ponder it. And most of all, use it. Use it to the glory of God.  Max Lucado

 

This quote by Max Lucado is more poignant in this moment because I am enthralled in a season of suffering. So much loss, rejection, frustration, sadness, longing, and despair reside within me now. Call it Mars/Chiron conjunction in Pisces angst or garden variety melancholy.  I am not certain that more pondering is in order for me personally, but I do agree that using my darkness for good is on point. This quote directs one to live out loud in the moment, not to judge oneself for feeling less than “acceptable.” Regarding the reward, I find these types of gifts are usually uncovered further down the road, in a small town called Retrospect. Are you familiar with Retrospect? It has a few strip malls, a gas station, a dive bar, and one decent diner. I recommend the fries with gravy.

 

The other quote I chose gives different directives on how to ponder:

It is possibly not very helpful to our inner life to ponder a great deal on how the external world is reflected in our soul. By doing so, we do not get beyond a shadowy picture of the world of mental images in ourselves.  Rudolf Steiner

 

This quote by Rudolf Steiner reminds me of a recent lesson by Matt Kahn. Matt often warns his students about associating the outer world with one’s state of  consciousness. If we encounter someone who treats us poorly, refrain from reaching the conclusion that we must also be treating others this way. He teaches that mirroring in this way is unhealthy and not a relevant spiritual practice. It appears that Steiner is in agreement here, cautioning against using what is outside of us as a barometer for one’s spiritual health. I am unclear on what he does suggest as an alternative, but I find his statement helpful and worthy of consideration.

The challenge requests that I choose a new word for 3 other bloggers to use in their posts. The word I have chosen is fragile.  I am using my guidance to choose the participants, so here we go: Michael, Tania ,  and Ka .

If you are reading this and are feeling inspired, please feel free to take up the challenge. Just follow the instructions and link back to this post. Challenges can make the world go around and blog challenges do so in a fun way 🙂

 

LAST CALL: As an aside, have you read the 2 new December entries in my Divine Mission Possible Challenge? If not, you can check them out here. There is still time to write a post if you have not already done so.

The challenge ends with this year, on 12-31-18 so time IS of the essence.

Musings ~ Heaven Help the Fool, Valentine’s Day

Well I guess my Jupiter in Scorpio post about justice was prescient as today we learn that Bill Cosby was convicted on all three counts, with Mars conjunct Pluto in the sky. I have this configuration presently in my 12th house, cajoling me into reviewing past romances and encounters of the Plutonian type with men ( Mars).

So I am reblogging this post in order to heal the unhealed and make the unconscious conscious. Bob is a great representative here with Mars conjunct Pluto natally and transiting Pluto squaring his Libra sun. Take a look at this chart here:  He is such a Plutonian character. No wonder I became a Deadhead so early in life, lol! Also no wonder he befriended John Mayer and coined him the next generation of the Dead. John is a fellow Libra sun with Pluto conjunct Sun, Mercury, and North Node. Plus they are both born on October 16th! Now who still says Astrology is nonsense? 😉

Here’s to getting it right and honoring women everywhere.

litebeing chronicles

I didn’t write about Valentine’s Day last year. I don’t even know why I am attempting to post.  I checked my archives for last February and around mid February I wrote about synchronicity and Mortadella. So what does that tell you ?

I am typing here while listening to thunder-snow in the background. The weather is wacky and so is my mood.  I have lived such a long time and  have seen so many things. But what can I write about romantic love that doesn’t sound snarky and jaded? ( or already written?)

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or

Romeo_and_Juliet_(watercolour)_by_Ford_Maddox_Brown

?????

Maybe I am partially inspired by the tarot love reading I received from Deelia  at Soul Fields. She does not actively read for the public anymore, but gifted me with a gratitude reading in return for the intuitive reading I gave her. Why I asked her about love is really a fluke. It was a…

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Make Earth Great Again ~ Earth Day 2019

Here is the version I meant to publish, but you can never have enough tributes to Gaia!

I adore Bill Maher and borrowed his tagline from last night’s New Rules segment as the title for this post. I do not think that Earth is not already great, but I do think it urgently needs extreme nurturing and collective respect. Sometimes a catchy slogan makes a difference. It did in the US presidential campaign.

While Bill’s rant is a bit satirical, he is a passionate environmentalist who often features activist scientists on his show. Check out this video and leave me your comments below:

Happy Earth Day!

image credits ~ litebeing chronicles © 2019

Musings at the Crossroads

SPOILER ALERT: Lots of poinsettia and introspection ahead….

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Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah , Merry Yule, and Happy Kwanzaa (December 26) to everyone associated in any way with this blog. You are my circle, my precious litebeing family, and I wish you boundless joy and love during this Solstice/Yuletide season.

You may enjoy listening to some of my favorite holiday music as you read on:

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There is plenty on my mind that needs sorting and releasing. This hodgepodge style post is mostly for me, but hopefully it will be interesting enough to read through. Way way overdue, so here we go…

High-way hazards: My commute to work is reasonable in duration but part of the trip is on a notoriously treacherous road. Years ago Robert predicted I would be in a major accident on this road. He sternly told me to never use it again, especially during rush hour. Robert was not always accurate, but he managed to frighten me nevertheless. The drivers are very aggressive and reckless and it takes some construction of armor for me to make this daily commute. But the near misses have occurred in other locations. About 6 weeks ago I had a vision after awakening where a white pickup truck or SUV would come at my vehicle from the right. It was so vivid and strange because it was not a dream, but a semi-awake ” scene.” A few days later, driving home on a very familiar road, a white SUV comes at me from the right and almost slams into my car. I drove into the opposing lane, which fortunately was clear. I only had been driving my new car a couple of weeks at the most. Then last Sunday I am trying to get some coffee before heading to a holiday party. It was incredibly crowded in my neighborhood and the energy was frenetic. Another huge, high-end SUV almost slams into me from the left lane. I prepare for a head-on collision and slammed on the brakes. The vehicle just missed me but I felt like I was attacked. I got out of the car, examined my vehicle and walked up to the driver, an older, well-appointed woman. I told her to be especially careful driving such a large vehicle. She declared that she did not hit me and seemed indifferent.

I think this incident triggered my GI pains the next day, which I thought might be diverticulitis. I was in shock at the holiday party and a bit off at work the following day. On the drive home I felt like a creature was kicking me from inside my belly. I went to the doctor and was put on antibiotics. Was it stress related IBS or diverticulitis? Per usual, I have no clue. What I do know is that I hate driving in a world where people poorly manage massive vehicles, text, and make calls while operating them.

Blue-Christmas: I have always felt alien during this time of year and this has not really changed, regardless of any inner-evolution. While I marvel at all the lights, trees decked out to the nines, and poinsettia in every color and permutation, I don’t understand this holiday. I do understand it is borrowed from pagan traditions and correlates with the beginning of Winter ( the Capricorn season), but emotionally it doesn’t click. I just don’t get it. I am inside my bubble where none of the festivities are able to enchant me. Being at work just amplifies my isolation. It took awhile for me to put it together, but working outside the home triggers more sadness and angst and increases my desire to build up my defenses. I do not fit in at work and am actually considering applying for new jobs in the New Year.

I have also requested a transfer to my friend’s position after she leaves. It may signal a new beginning with different co-workers and a nicer office. I find it so interesting that when I begin a new venture I am immune initially to the characters that emerge on the scene. At this juncture, so many of them resemble people I have encountered before. With the exception of my clients, my life has not been impacted much by having these “new” people in my stratosphere. I am still grateful though to be working and earning money. It is just that I continue to find myself in toxic settings and am beginning to conclude that it is not me, it is the state of office politics. On the positive side of the ledger, my supervisor approved my plan to create a new group for the young and/or newly diagnosed. I am excited about building something original based on my passion for helping people get back to the business of living. I will keep you updated.

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Traditionettes: I just made up this new word to describe some of what I set up for this season on a regular basis. Since I do not celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, there is not much to do. However there are some elements that bring my comfort and peace in a small way. I would seek out eggnog every December until I became lactose intolerant. Boy do I miss that drink, a concoction that tastes like a boozy milkshake. Maybe I can find a lactose – free version.  I always listen to the Nutcracker either on CD or on TV. I have been fortunate to see it live at least once and it was spectacular. Speaking of nuts, I have not eaten any whole nuts since April 2015, but I do enjoy nut milks and nut butters, etc. I am very enamored with chestnuts, going back to enjoying marrons glacés over ice cream as a child. I found chestnut cream this week ~ pureed chestnuts with vanilla and sugar. It is addictive! Try it with ice cream or yogurt, dip chocolate in it, spread it on a baguette, or straight out of the jar!

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I usually purchase a poinsettia and place it on the dining room table. I enjoy experimenting with nuanced colors and patterns. They add a warm glow to any setting. This year I chose one with peachy leaves, resembling autumn foliage. This plant is not poisonous for pets and has such a storied history. Learn more about poinsettia here.

Fate and purpose: I continue to ponder who is driving this bus, meaning, who is the ” me ” that enjoys the Nutcracker and dips chocolate in puréed chestnuts? How or what is the source of my love affair with astrology and Indian cuisine? Where does my affinity for writing and obsession with pattern and color originate? Is it personality or Divine guidance, ego or Higher Self ? Joe Dispenza states that what we anticipate through intention or intuition is really what we are destined to have in our lives. We just get a sneak preview of what fate has in store for us. Matt Kahn says that everything is fated, but the degree of worthiness we attribute to our circumstances determines the outcome. So I ponder: if all is determined beforehand, why desire anything? What is the point? Who is doing the desiring anyway? Any thoughts on this?

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Rudolph’s friends: While listening to the end of Matt Kahn’s video yesterday, I noticed some movement in the backyard. At first I thought it was a dog, but I sensed much  more activity. I observed and counted at least 10 deer hanging out in broad daylight. A few of them were actually prancing around, which seemed novel to me. A stray cat emerged out of central casting, moving slowly and seemingly oblivious to all the deer activity. It truly was a whirlwind of activity! I am quite fond of deer and was happy to have them congregate near me, albeit briefly. So today I was gifted a free subscription to Carrie Hart’s power animal site and selected a power animal for the day. Guess who choose me? the buck! The central message for buck is grace, confidence, and renewal. This definitely seems fitting and the synchronicity between the deer sighting and choosing the buck adds more energy to the message. Perhaps this was a faint taste of holiday magic for me to savor.

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Last Christmas: While preparing this post, I was conjuring up memories of some of my favorite holiday songs. Some of these include Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses. BandAid’s Do They Know It’s Christmas, Do You Hear What I Hear?, Anything Nutcracker, Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song, Father Christmas by the Kinks, and George Michael’s Last Christmas. Most of these are pop songs by contemporary artists that I grew up with. They are touchstones that give me the illusion of safety and comfort. Just like the chestnut cream or eggnog, they are cozy and soothing. They also help me mark the passing of time. I just learned that George Michael passed away at age 53. I first heard his music when he was in Wham and I found his voice romantic and soulful. Many of his songs were part of the soundtrack of my early adulthood. He was so much more than a pretty face; his voice was gorgeous and his lyrics were incredibly moving. I do not know if he died today, but it was announced today, on Christmas. His song Last Christmas helped me gauge the passing of each year and the direction for the future. Call it ironic but one of his most iconic songs partially foretold his future. His life would end on Christmas, his last one.

chestnuts image courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain