Yesterday I finished reading Traveling to Parallel Universes by Trish LeSage. I just noticed her last name is Le Sage. How perfect for this Sagittarius season!
If you are fascinated like I am about experiencing other dimensions, read her book. There are so few books out there about this topic. Trust me, as I have researched this rather diligently.
This post is not a book review though. I had a mini-epiphany tonight and it was based on something I read about last night in the book.
It goes a little something like this…
I went on an interview today and I felt utterly crushed when I got home. The funny thing is, I probably will be offered a job there. I do not want to describe the interview or the details of the job. I do want to describe my thought process.
Longtime readers know what a sucky year I have had. Not the worst year of my life, but not one I would ever want to repeat. Lots of Uranus energy everywhere, fraught with unexpected crises and missteps. Most of the happenings were beyond my control. But one was by my own actions and I have not properly forgiven myself yet for it. I lost credentialing as a therapist because I left my practice before finding a new one. I cannot accept private insurance unless I attain the highest level of licensure. This fact was accentuated today as I interviewed for a job I already had and this feels like going backward. So many restrictions continue to interfere with my ability to break free and really live. I sat myself down and asked myself ” How did you end up in a life you do not recognize with so few options?”
A little later the mini-epiphany arrived. I was thinking about a program I helped create. I discussed the Grief and Loss group in the interview and how it came to be. The program was an offshoot of my reaction to the sudden death of my father and a few other sudden losses that occurred around the time of my starting a new job at a Mental Health Recovery Center. Within just a few months of my arrival, a coworker lost her father, a beloved client dropped dead of a heart attack, and a longtime employee died during a freak accident. The atmosphere was so sad and mostly everyone shared in the feelings of helplessness and devastation. I shared with the interviewer that my poor ability to grieve fueled my empathy and birthed a new way for clients to work through years of grief and loss. I do not think the interviewer was that interested in my story, but the telling served me well. I began to think about one of my favorite conundrums : how to be kind and also be an empath. Matt Kahn and other teachers say that kindness is a great way to raise one’s vibration. I don’t do nice very well when I am supersensitive to my environment. I can become quite impatient and frustrated once I hit my limit. I want to be nice and sometimes the best I can do is be kinder to me for failing to be kind.
This premise triggered a memory from LeSage’s book. She was discussing the moods of people encountered in parallel universes. The author found that nicer people often resided in the lower dimensions ( 1st and 2nd) and that the higher one travels, the more unpleasant the people were. I was really baffled by this initially. Wouldn’t most people be kinder and friendlier in places where miracles abound and physical bodies were lighter and manifestation was typically instantaneous? Why would the kindest folks be in dimensions that are very negative and dense?
This is the thing ~ difficult lives change our outlook. We can become bitter or we can become better. We can reek of sourness or invoke alchemy and create delicious lemonade to quench our thirst. Pain can increase empathy and empathy creates kindness. LeSage goes on to say that in the higher realms life is easy and empathy isn’t required. I don’t live in the higher realms, but I think I would prefer it. Isn’t that what ascension is all about?
So I may make an excellent therapist because my life has been rather difficult. But can I raise my vibration when I feel so resigned to a life offering so few choices and so many doors slamming in my face?
Then I thought about the Lee Harris video I watched today. He emphasized the interplay between inner outrage and the outer world. I considered all the fears and paranoia that have surfaced recently in my consciousness. The video confirmed that most if not all of this is less about my life and more about my assimilation of the violence on the planet. I minimize my exposure, but empaths will feel energy without tuning into the news. I have never been clear which is my stuff and which is totally environmental. Yet, I can clearly see the shift in me as being connected to outside events. I guess I wasn’t able to do so before. Thanks to Lee for helping me discern the source of my recent death anxiety. It is reassuring to realize that I am not alone. This is not the solution though. But that is a different matter entirely that I am not prepared to address.
I hope my perspective will shift about my immediate future. I do not want to sink back into melancholy and victim consciousness. I am aware that my emotions wax and wane rather quickly. At the moment, I feel rather peaceful actually.
I am not looking for those reading this to feel compelled to cheer me up or offer answers. I do welcome any thoughts on how to remain kind on such a chaotic planet or on matters of alternative dimensions and realities.
Or anything else you would like to discuss. I could use some company tonight.
I will have to figure out how to live creatively and optimistically here in this reality until further notice. Thank God I can blog. Maybe if every being on this planet could blog, well …..
header image: wikipedia.org, public domain featured image : the awesome Josephine Wall.