I have contemplated this post since March of 2020. In fact the draft was started on March 29, 2020. I expected to take my time with this one, to see how time and events would shape up and make the experience come alive. Well, the time has come!
At first this piece was to be about me knowing the pandemic was coming and how the signs I received alerted me to what the past 15 months would look like. I think that this is partially true now, but not entirely true. This blog is a tribute to my guidance system and how my communication with the Divine operates. In some ways, that may be more important to me than this traumatic transformative year and a half we survived ( and perhaps thrived) through. My connection with Source has been practically life long, but not always easily accessible or “reliable”. I have been and still can be fraught with doubt. My intention for this material is that readers find it relatable and that I will find the writing process a healing one. I have included images, videos and links to blog posts that correspond with each timeline. Please view, listen, and read as you so desire:
This saga begins around the end of September 2019, at least that’s as far back as I can trace it. Around this time I was invited to a dinner with colleagues at a favorite Ethiopian restaurant to discuss burnout and Social Work. The evening was quite memorable despite it being so long ago. Apart from a bizarre bathroom incident and being in a treasured nostalgic setting, the highlight was the scintillating conversations. One of my colleagues is a young and brilliant jack of all trades. He teaches, does therapy, mentors, and is involved in advocacy , all while working on his PhD. He was discussing this book about colonialism and philanthropy and his take on it. He made the connection between therapists and agency employees and tiers in the slave/caste system. I found it complex and quite intriguing. Little did I know that this book, Decolonizing Wealth, would become so significant in 2020 regarding income disparity and my journey into studying Animist Psychology. This little dinner gathering was quite influential then and remains relevant today.
I began seeing the sequence 911 everywhere and read that it can symbolize an emergency, a crisis needing immediate attention. I decided to ignore it in the hope I could override my negative programming. During this time period ( late September through early November) I became very ill with a mysterious illness that to this day remains an enigma. That too could be a foreshadowing of things to come, yet most of the symptoms were not Covid related, and yet…..
I watched an episode of the Good Place that rocked my world. It rocked it so much that I had to rewind some of the episode to incorporate its meaning. I had been a regular Good Place viewer and enjoyed how it played with the afterlife, good vs evil, and time travel. However nothing that I know of could have prepared me for this episode. Watch the clip below:
The Good Place Season 4 Episode 8 aired November 14 2019:
This decision to reboot humanity and start over really frightened me at the time. I began to wonder if we were in fact headed in this direction.
Which leads us to, drum roll please, the bird convention in my back yard that seemed quite biblical. I wrote this post about the birds on 12-15-19 and found the comments comforting, and yet, a strong part of me felt I was being given a warning. The picture above only begins to capture the magnitude and intensity of these black birds descending on my home upon awakening that morning. I never could quite shake the feeling that change was in the cards for me and perhaps, the planet.
New Year’s Eve 12-31-2019 :
1 Corinthians 13:4-5: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” This could be the message of 2020 or the entire decade.
There was a definite stirring for me on this evening, very unexpected and intense. with many stinkbugs literally hugging me, on my head, face, like never before. Also I noticed my kalanchoe plant reflowering, I cannot recall any of my plants ever reflowering! I saw this as a dawn of a new decade and that other non human people ( insects and plants) were scrambling to get my attention. Yet at the same time, grief was a prominent theme:
On New Year’s Eve I watch a very cool and sad NYE show with Anderson Cooper, including the band Dead and Company and an interview with Stephen Colbert about grief. Why was I searching YouTube for a video on Grief on the eve of a new Decade? Because I was called to do so!
This image above is from a Bath and Body Works body lotion tube I had on hand. It was a new scent called Reset. This word reset began making the rounds in my world circa early 2020.
Work was frightening for me as the new year approached. Early January there was an investigation regarding my work practices that seemed like a power play by my new boss. At this time I made a preemptive move to put some of my personal items in the trunk of my car. After the dust settled with my job left intact, I made an impulsive decision to not move some office items back from the trunk to the office. I left these items in my car for weeks. As my office environment and my new boss made my job torturous, I began advocating to do more work remotely, a decision made weeks in advance of a deadline to change work schedules on March 16th. March 16th was a date that kept repeating over and over. Management was only slightly receptive to my idea as remote work for employees at my level was to happen only on a case by case basis. The company I worked for was losing money and there was talk of expanding our hours and possible layoffs. They asked everyone to shift to a full week schedule despite the lack of office space starting March 16th. My job went from 4 days a week to 5 and I was not happy. BTW, on what date do you think my remote work from home began? If you guessed March 16th, you would be correct!
I felt impending doom around work since 12/19 and was looking for a solution. I asked to meet with our Executive VP as I heard on good authority that she was a fair person. We had an in-depth conversation and she kept mentioning a “reset” regarding relations between me and my immediate supervisor. The terms reset and reboot stayed with me, resonating strongly. I liked the idea of a new beginning, a fresh start. But not if it was a fresh start along the lines of The Good Place.!
Around the same time, I was getting advice from my LCSW supervisor to apply for group practice jobs without completing licensure, as some will take you as you are. I received ” The future is following your blog ” email on that timeline and proceeded to search for some ” future jobs”, something so out of character for me.
I began interviewing in person and on the phone for group practice jobs. This was so out of my comfort zone, doing something with such great odds for failure. This activity was so high risk/low rewards in my mind. Yet I found it liberating and conducive to ascension aka Dr. Joe Dispenza’s intention visualization practice. No job offers came from this but a few employers encouraged me to contact them when I approach getting my LCSW. I was also on this mission to get to the DMV, of all places. My driver’s license was recently renewed but I needed a picture ID and possibly this new travel ID. While I was not in any trouble for not getting my picture a bit late, I was crazed with determination to complete this task. I drove to a location on my lunch break and get quite lost. Eventually I got my photo taken but forgot the documents needed for the travel ID. It turns out I wasn’t going to be traveling anytime soon. But the thought of waiting a long time at the overcrowded DMV would have been dreadful.
After hearing that my coworker was going to Vermont for a few days, I received an immediate nudge to schedule a vacation day quickly and take a 4-day staycay. So much drama ensued but I was given this precious day off. I was quickly led to go downtown and visit a museum and act like a tourist. Covid was now literally in the air and I wanted some time off before March 16th. Why was I in such a rush to venture into the crowded city, eat in a small restaurant, and tour a museum about American history?
If you read this post carefully, it is clear to see that I was preparing for something big. I felt an urgent push to take action in areas of my life that were not really urgent. But fortunately I followed my guidance. When the call came to work remotely, I had practically no belongings left in my office, I had taken a pre-lockdown vacation, and was already laying the groundwork for my next career move, all the while getting some subtle and in-your-face messages that life as I knew it was ending.
The image sequence above includes photos taken the end of March 2020. I was still working from home. Don’t the photos look vibrant and brimming with promise and hope ? Life was not that scary then, but we were just getting started. It is easier to complete this blog now that cases are down, Trump is gone ( sorta) and I am now working ( in a job that came from “the future” ). I am not going to wax poetic about all the issues and dilemmas that were ushered in by the Saturn Pluto conjunction. We all were there.
I had a desire to share how my guidance operates. It is so so easy to report when a prophetic dream comes to pass or a lovely synchronicity occurs. It is not so easy to examine how I celebrated some of my guidance, was ambivalent about some of it, and ignored the rest. I was not raised to listen within; in fact I was encouraged to indulge in groupthink and keep my ideas to myself. When the going gets tough, it is natural to resort to old habits. Discernment is a marathon, not a sprint. The journey continues.
Happy Solstice, Juneteenth, Jupiter Station Retrograde, Father’s Day, and Mercury Direct !