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December 2021

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INFJ at the Holidays?

By reading another blog I was inspired to repost this essay on how to navigate the holiday season. Hoping this  will reach those who can benefit…..

I was ready to dive into an astrology article including Taylor Swift, but she will have to shake it off just a little bit longer. I am sensing a need to write about how to navigate the holiday season with fun and a lot less drama. I have wanted to write about INFJs and HSPs ( Highly Sensitive People) for a while, and this seems to be the perfect time.

wikiart public domain

 Where is the INFJ in this picture?

He or she is probably in the basement or store bathroom with their hands over their ears! The INFJ personality is very sensitive, intuitive, headstrong, and idealistic. This  archetype is also generally quite introverted, perfectionistic, and value-driven. I think the HSP personality is a derivative of the INF ( Introvert Intuitive Feeling) categories in the Myers Briggs system.

As a card-carrying member of both clubs, I can unequivocally say that this time of year can be difficult. While I am still carrying out my radical gratitude practice, I am also aware that taking practical steps towards improved self-care should not be brushed aside. Be grateful that you are swamped with party invitations, but don’t feel obligated to attend all of them.

Here are some helpful tips for INFJs and HSPs and the people who love them. Take them with copious grains of salt and discernment. You will know what works best for you.

1 – Goody – goody, my inner self replies. INFJs love lists, plans and calendars! We are not the most flexible people on the planet and can get stressed out with spontaneous or last-minute changes in plans. It is OK to decline an invitation or suggest a quiet get together after the holidays. Know your limits and respect them.

2 – If you are at a dinner or party with an INFJ or HSP and engage them in small talk or gossip, don’t be surprised if they tune you out or head for the nearest exit. We like to communicate, but we don’t do meaningless chat. Ask us about what we are reading or our favorite causes. Tell us about your hopes and dreams or your ideal travel destination. Don’t bore us with tales about The Housewives of Las Vegas or details on your brother’s latest get rich scheme.

3 – We get overstimulated quickly and crowds make us uneasy. I have learned to pick and choose my social activities wisely. If I find myself in a setting that is too loud or negative or just plain chaotic, I will seek out someone whose company I enjoy and strike up a conversation. If that isn’t possible, I will excuse myself and leave. I am not shy and can easily initiate conversations. INFJs and HSPs are not necessarily shy wallflowers. Where you fit on the continuum will determine how introverted and sensitive you are, and that is often subject to change. Introversion does not imply shyness anyway. It means that we are drained by people. We are energized by going within.  I love interacting with people in real-time, but I need to have some control over my environment and know my limitations.

4 – If you notice you are overindulging in food or alcohol, it may be a sign that you are stuffing your emotions. I have coped with over-stimulation in the past by drinking way too much and I don’t really like to drink! Listen to the messages that your feelings deliver to you instead, and don’t behave in ways that don’t serve you. There is a difference between enjoying holiday treats and self-medicating. If you do not know the difference, get some support so that you can learn what works for you. Ask yourself if it is really worth it to alter your brain chemistry just to be in a room with people.

5 – Sensitive types often react to stress in a variety of ways. We are prone to migraines, digestive issues, and allergies. Some fragrances and noises trigger these reactions. Do not take it personally if we cannot be around your perfume or cigarette smoke or accompany you to a rave at the local warehouse. It isn’t you , it is us. Sensitivity is such a tremendous gift, but it comes with a price.

6 – In this hyper-consumerism culture, the pressure is high to buy, buy, buy. INFJs love to please our loved ones with unique, person-specific gifts. We delight in these details and remember that you adored that one-of- a- kind brooch while window shopping last July. Again, it is important to be kind to yourself. It really is okay if you cannot afford to buy everything for everyone all of the time. We can be so hard on ourselves and that self-criticism can be projected onto others when it gets out of hand. Let yourself off your self-imposed hook. If money is tight or time is limited, use your creativity instead. Bake, sew, knit, draw, or  photograph personal tokens of holiday cheer. It really is the thought that counts at the end of the day. This is why I really prefer Thanksgiving!

7 – Last but not least, feed your soul. HSPs and INFJs really benefit from the following activities: walk in nature, meditate, pray, create art, visit places of beauty, do yoga, take frequent breaks from your routine to just BE, write, play an instrument, read…  The more you love yourself, the better prepared you are to be in the world, but not of the world.

Please let me know if I forgot anything. Fellow INFJs and HSPs, I know you are out there!


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This entry was posted in INFJ.

5 comments on “INFJ at the Holidays?

  1. Boy, did I learn a lot today! I have never heard of a “INFJ personality” but now that you brought it up I do know someone who acts and (when I can connect with them) feels like this. You have opened up a new world for me. I would think myself not over sensitive, but are we always the best judge of our own personality? The hustle and bustle of the holidays has always been too much for me, especially as I have gotten older. A cup of hot chocolate in front of the TV watching a movie with friends and family is much preferred to Christmas parties and New Year’s antics.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. litebeing says:

      I am happy to know that you learned something new from reading this peace. The Myers Briggs Inventory is based on the work of Carl Jung and is often administered in academic and work settings. I am a true INFJ yet my scores are varied across the 4 domains. I am less and less into the holidays as I do not want to devote my energy there. However the simple pleasures and a few traditions bring me some joy.


  2. I have never ever been good at navigating this time of year in the shops dear Linda.. and even more so during these times it becomes more stressful… Last year I was way ahead of myself in that we were locked down and so for the first time ever I decided to shop on line…
    This year I have given a more personal touch to gifts as I have knitted and crocheted cardigans and scarves, etc..
    You are so right… Sensitives are more susceptible to feeling the onslaught of all the Hussle and bustle. So I keep myself out of the fray as much as possible ..

    So good to be reconnecting back Linda.. Good to see you and that you are busy busy here …
    Have a peaceful weekend and Joyous Holiday even though I know its not your favourite time of year… We had some snow early not too long ago.. Melted now…. But it added to the seasonal feel…
    Sending love and well wishes Linda…
    Mega Hugs your way ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. litebeing says:

      Dear Sue,
      Your energy has been sorely missed and it feels great to be able to converse again as we have done for years. I would imagine everyone will cherish your handmade gifts. Online shopping has its pros and cons. I prefer not waiting in lines and all the crowds but sometimes what I buy online does not often resemble what it looked like on the website, etc. The bitter with the sweet. I have been busy posting during your hiatus but many offerings are re-treads. However I think you will enjoy my first trip back to Longwood Gardens in almost 2 years! It is mostly photos.

      I wish you a joyous season of miracles and peace. May we all experience plenty of both for the rest of our days.
      Love, Linda ❤


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