Where we come from is who we are but we choose every day who we become. . My family’s not perfect but they made me who I am and gave me chances they never had. My future, whatever it is, is their shared legacy.
From the film Hillbilly Elegy
This entry is part of the Returning Home series, which explores the various ways one can return to God or Source. This blog will be different in that I am not exploring a place or method outside of myself, but rather a dialogue with myself for the purpose of grounding, deeper embodiment, and increased inner peace. This more urgent pursuit has been triggered by the recent Lunar Eclipse on November 30th at 8°37 ′ Gemini conjunct my IC point at 5 Gemini and squaring my natal Pluto placement at 7 °50 ′ Virgo. This lunation dovetailed with my immersion in an Animist Psychology Course which addresses Gaia, Ancestors and Mental Health.
Over the past week or two, a steady stream of synchronicities have been appearing, all communicating the power of one’s lineage. One example is a recent online astrological lecture I attended by Helen Cierzo featuring Family Patterns in Astrology. I learned about how my family of origin has a Neptune pattern signaling enmeshment. I have known since forever about the enmeshment, but now astrology confirms it! Long time readers know that synchronicities are not new to me, but the veracity of synchs around ancestry and family dynamics has been fast and quite relentless. We do see what we believe and what I believe is my history is complicated.
Another important synch was deciding to view Hillbilly Elegy after initially discounting it. I was so involved in the storyline and felt very aware of the different characters. Part of it is understanding of the addictive process from my role as an addictions therapist, while most of it links to my own childhood memories. It was less about the details and more about the thoughts and emotions that came up, such as fear, being parentified, anger, over responsibility, abuse, and desire to rise above and transform.
While there is nothing in my lifetime that is similar to Appalachia, I have long held a profound curiosity about the people and the land. It is also ironic that I could see my maternal grandmother’s persona in that of Glenn Close’s character. Not the “crazed ” parts, but the bluntness and simplicity of being. While observing Close’s portrayal of Mamaw, I can access my own grandma playing cards like a master with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth! She was nothing like my prim and proper mother who stays in her lane. My grandma was an outlier, much like me, a wild card, who blended traditional roles of wife and mother with that of a rebel who did not care about people pleasing or “branding ” of an image. I wish I knew her better and what forces shaped her into being.
I struggle with so many questions while taking this Animist course. Such as why am I more in tune with cultures and imagery outside of my verified DNA? I know I am not adopted, but fantasized as an adolescent about finding my true family. Most of this can be attributed to my lightworker mission, but some of it is about being called to people’s outside my white middle class confines. Bluegrass music and Scots Irish folksongs gets me every time. When I visit the mountains ( The Catskills in New York, The Poconos in Pennsylvania, and or the beloved Blue Ridge Mountains of Shenandoah Valley Virginia mostly) or watch media about Appalachia, the music grabs me and does not let go. The vibrations tug gently at first at my heartstrings but quickly escalate to a firm clutch on my soul, that words fail to convey. I have no clue why it has such a grip on me, similar to reggae rhythms and drum circle rituals. I have no historical frame of reference. Both my parents were very musical ( prominent Taurus and other Venusian placements) but their musical taste reflected the times they were born into, nothing more.
I have included several videos of both contemporary and classical Appalachian music from artists and movies that tear at my heart. I recommend you watch Cold Mountain and Songcatcher to bask in the glorious music and learn more about a people who have been underestimated or harshly judged. Also, here’s a shout out to Leigh who turned me on to ancestral trauma and healing and Jen, my first friend from Kentucky who is one of the most creative, strongest and wisest people I have some to know.
Please tell me in the comments about your heritage, or love of music, or affinity for a certain place or people.
This is a short invitation to join this fascinating course I am taking with Daniel Foor. Forgive me that I did not alert you sooner, I have been quite distracted and busy. Today, November 10th is the final day to register for this 8 week course on Animist Psychology. This course found me and knew it was important, as many synchronicities will reveal. I received an email invite for a course on ancestral healing and was wondering why I no longer receive notifications about Daniel Foor’s courses. So I went to his website and lo and behold this brand new class was being offered and starting soon. They also gave me a scholarship!
Here is a short description from the site:
As a participant you can expect accessible and interactive learning, invitations to reflect at depth on your own journey through guided experiential practices, and an increased ability to identify and speak to important psychological and cultural dynamics in your personal lives and communities of practice. Topics include: colonialism and mental health, ancestral curses, archetypal possession, psychosis and spiritual emergency, belonging in places with major historical trauma, cultivating resilience in partnership with the ancestors and land, and a range of other considerations under the banner of Animist Psychology. Resources included with each lesson favor ancestrally diverse voices both within and outside the psychological establishment, and additional calls each week (times vary for international inclusivity) include options for BIPOC and LGBTQI-only small discussion groups. Finally, the approach to learning is kind and inclusive with lots of space for questions, and peer discussion.
I looked at Daniel’s chart ( without birthtime) and discovered he is incredibly Plutonian ( Sun conjunct Pluto opposite moon, Pluto square Mars). His tone is calming and soft, yet I can feel the underlying intensity and passion about this work. The lessons and live calls allow me to think and process in a new way both as a clinician and as a human. This material is designed for those not trained in psychology but who are intrigued by the spirit of the land, animals, plants, the spirit world and one’s ancestral lineage. It is so much more than I can say and draws from so many disciplines.
The course is quite affordable and offers payment plans. All lessons are recorded along with ritual exercises, live calls, and breakout groups and are accessible forever!
I had planned to include this invite with another post, but I could not get to posting anything new. If this course seems like something you would enjoy, go check it out! I decided within minutes because I knew in my gut I would grow and discover more of who I am at my core.
Last night I dreamt of James and he referenced Pendle Hill. Right on cue, I received an email today from Pendle Hill announcing its 90th anniversary on September 24th. I am reposting this blog to celebrate this transformative space I love so dearly. Please check out their website https://pendlehill.org/ and perhaps attend an online lecture or class , buy a pamphlet, or worship with the community via Zoom.
Last Sunday August 10th I felt drawn to have a “Returning Home” experience so I drove to Pendle Hill. I definitely needed to PAUSE and regroup and what better place than here!
I had a sumptuous meal of Thai fish and eggplant coconut curry. I can still taste the sweet and spicy sauce as I recall the meal. The picture above is a close approximation.The food here is grown, purchased and prepared with intention, care, and love. The energy was frenetic, most likely due to the approaching Super-Moon Full Moon. I was frazzled by the loud interactions around me and took a seat alone. No one joined me and that has never happened to me before. I told myself perhaps it was what I needed. Behind me I overheard a conversation about Woodstock. Then someone began discussing the film A Walk on the Moon. I was led to…
UPDATE : Imagine my surprise to hear Obama’s historic speech warning about the possible end of the US democracy live from Phila’s Museum of the American Revolution. Was it really just back in March when I visited this sacred space during my short staycation?
This post is the sequel to my last post about free thinking and reprogramming the mind. This blog is not primarily political in nature but I do speak up when I have an opinion that connects with the evolution of our planet. I have a few opinions I want to share today. Let me preface this to say my goal is not changing anyone’s belief systems, but rather to share my truth at this time.
First, here’s a little background: While I grew up in a family with constant bickering, my parents actually did agree for the most part about politics. While my mom would never disclose who she voted for, I knew she and my father were liberal Democrats and never wavered. My father would say many people became Republican once they became affluent, but since that did not happen for us, no worries! I do not believe my political views were passed onto me by my parents. We agreed on very few things and my lifestyle is incredibly different from what was “expected of me. ” It is simply a surprise that my general political values did not stray far from the generation before me. However, my ideas continue to move further and further away from Democratic capitalism because I have come to see how our system in the US is slavery, thinly covered up with a veil of participatory representation. There are elections in autocratic governments around the world, but simply window dressing. I hope the New Earth we co create will make it possible for all people to live out their potential without the burden of working in jobs they hate in order to support the Military Industrial Complex and the players behind the scenes.
I was strongly encouraged to vote and my 18th birthday was the day before Election day so that next day my parents took me to the polling place. They did not tell me who to vote for but wanted to celebrate this rite of passage. Later in life my parents became poll workers. I do not take this right for granted and it came late to women (this is the 1oo year anniversary of the Suffrage movement although many women of color did not get to participate until much much later) in the US. I was deeply affected by Watergate and watched Nixon resign on television with my family while on vacation. I did watch some of the hearings while much of it was over my head. I had no illusions about corruption and power at a young age. I also paid attention to how I felt when I heard someone speak. I wanted to feel inspired but at the same time, I was no fool. I am still no fool and can read people like a book, my Scorpio super power 🙂
The interview with Tom Montalk was amazing and so chock full of information. Some of the premises I had heard before but his grasp of the concepts helped me integrate them with ease. I was not happy though to hear again this emphasis on the Left and Socialism being bad and part of the NWO. The soundbite is: Small Government = Good, Big Government = Bad. I am stating a oversimplification here, but many of the “woke” notions are way too simple.
I learned in school that the US was built on manifest destiny and rugged individualism but this morphed into an exploitation of the original Tea Party and Trickle Down economics. I remember all my student grants being taken away when Reagan assumed office and college became less affordable. And I knew there was more of this change to come. What I did not know was that this timeline was the beginning of the erosion of middle class America.
The online world is hyped with this notion of freedom, patriotism, and sovereignty. All sounds great, right? Yes, and this matrix we live in is mostly a fatalistic determined system. Watch Westworld and you will see what I mean. I am told by many that we choose our incarnation between lifetimes and yet there is no real time in the higher dimensions , but I digress…
My astrology knowledge leads me to conclude that a large percentage of our trajectory is decided for us, but that some free will is tolerated. Free will is typically exercised in reaction to pre-determined life events. We can go off script and many of us will continue to do so, at least part of the time. I am a lover of the ideal of freedom and not conventional. Yet I do not think one can be totally free in a 3D body in 2020.
But I go back again and again to what resonates for me. How do I feel when I watch a video or read an email or talk to someone face to face? What feels off and what feels good to me? These self inquiries are very important. I do not think Socialism is a dirty word and I also think that the far left and far right eventually end up at the same place, fascism and loss of agency. If Trump wins or refuses to leave, I am afraid my people will be sent back to the camps and elections will continue ” Putin and Castro style. ” I do not care if people agree with me or not, but he is effing out of his mind! How can I ignore my training as a therapist and ignore the obvious?
I do like the idea of basic protections for every human and will not apologize for it. I do not like so much of my tax money going to the military. I never understood the point of war and my leanings have not shifted. I rather more of my money be spent on education, health care, and protecting the environment. I welcome basic universal income but I do not think that translates into people not working. Having a purpose is part of the package and most people want to be productive. Most of human existence has been built on the backs of slaves, indentured servants, and the impoverished. It took me a little while to grasp how unfair it is that most humans have to spend most of their time working at jobs they hate just to feed their families and have a place to live. I thought that this was just how the world works. I figured it out eventually and began to see that we can create so much more if survival was a given, not a daily challenge. Most of us are still very much enslaved but are no longer labeled as such.
Democratic Socialism is a form of representative government where people have a say in shaping society and also have governmental support. As someone who has spent a few years off and on with a lack of secure employment, I know there is a better way. I would say that FDR is among my favorite leaders. I did a paper on the Depression in junior or senior high and learned about all the public works programs he initiated. ( I also wrote a paper on Watergate right after it was complete). Perhaps I was destined to study Social Work and formally become a Social Worker. I knew rather early on how I wanted to make the world a better place ( lightworker memories maybe?)
I am well aware there are elites in both political parties and that so so many of our “leaders” are puppets. Yet, there are some who cannot be swayed or bought and have moral integrity. I want to live in a world without homeless people, without uncontrolled addiction and mental illness, without school shootings, without racial and gender inequality. What many countries have right now is government surveillance, dependence on big tech and the uber billionaire class, and very little autonomy. I do not see why the “woke ” are not interested in helping the ill get free healthcare and the financially strapped get low cost access to higher education. Debt equals servitude and I know this all too well. I am not advocating a planetary government and think that would be a disaster. If greed was off the table, many more nations would be able to choose their own form of self governance. But greed is currently very much alive.
I hope this piece at the very least makes a case for softening the polarity between red and blue philosophy. I do not like getting government income but would be on the streets right now without it. I worked for City Government for close to 20 years and saw first hand how corrupt and manipulative it can be. Yet over time I enjoyed union protections, generous raises, excellent medical benefits and substantial vacation time. I also was gifted great opportunities while working there to assist fractured families and improve the quality of many excellent fully or partially – funded governmental programs like MANNA. I also was given the chance to go to school full time to obtain my MSS degree ( practically tuition – free) while working part time and still receive my entire salary and benefits. Like so many situations. with the bitter lies the sweet.
I know I am lucky to not have been born in Russia or some of the other places where my ancestors came from. As a Jew, I am a descendant of slaves and that data is encoded in my DNA. In fact, many thought leaders say all of humanity was manipulated numerous times by off – planet beings. This could very well be true, especially since we use so little of our brain capacity and regain so much of our violent tendencies. Most of us are enslaved in one form or another. Writing this article is one way I can become unshackled. I do not want to be boxed in. I am a lightworker and I do not think Trump is a savior. We must save ourselves! I wish this was not the case but I am afraid our rights will be further eroded if we do not get rid of this evil regime. My heart goes out to our brothers and sisters in Belarus who are actively fighting to dismantle their country’s police state. Trump wants the US to have the same set up by derailing our rights to vote through dismantling the USPS. I am not endorsing the Democratic alternative but I prefer vanilla to what we have now. Critical thinking means being willing to be unpopular in order to be cool with your soul. I am more than willing to do this. The answers will become clearer when people begin making assessments with their inner resonance. Tolerating difference is also essential, now more than ever. I guess my bottom line is that we must find a way to listen to each other and still retain our personal truths and unique energetic signatures.
Wishing you a lovely Sunday and peaceful week ahead.
According to Webster’s dictionary, Revolution is the action by a celestial body of going round in an orbit or elliptical course, completion of a course (as of years), a sudden, radical, or complete change, and a fundamental change in the way of thinking about or visualizing something : a change of paradigm.
I like how all the different meanings coalesce and vibe off each other. Time and movement can inform change in action and in philosophy. The times we live in now show us how history impacts the present and how different perspectives inform the shifting of our future.
It is not an accident that a Lunar Eclipse is occurring this year on America’s birthday. While the entire planet is in major transition, so many look to the US for answers. The US or ” us ” is a hot mess right now, but has been for many decades. It just takes humans awhile to collectively take notice.
I must say I am fortunate to be born here. I realize that my ancestors may have all perished if this country was not open to them. My incarnation into my present family may not have happened without the colonization of the Americas. Yet, this process was brutal, barbaric, and we still live with its wounds today. The slaughter and cheating of indigenous people to take their land, the cruel enslavement of Africans to work the fields, so much damage has been done here.
I live in Philadelphia and went to college here. I worked for the City of Philadelphia for close to 20 years. I have lived here most of my life. I am very much intertwined with this experiment in democracy.
There is a magic in Olde City, the original US Capitol. The energy is still palpable. The people who came together were all flawed, but they wanted to build something enduring that was a step up the evolutionary ladder. My time in Baltimore last summer ( which I still have yet to write about) led me to a newfound interest in the Revolutionary era and my mini-vacation this March led me to new epiphanies about this time period.
I am taking advantage of my time at home by watching Hamilton on Disney+ and reading Return of the Revolutionaries: The Case for Reincarnation and Soul Groups Reunited. Both the film and book are lengthy but definitely interesting. I wanted to see Hamilton for some time, but the expense was out of reach and I have lost my enthusiasm for theater. When I heard I could see the film at home for $6.00, I knew that this was within my price range! I have watched about half the film so far and it is energetic, highly original, and diverse in music and cast. I know little about Alexander Hamilton and will do some research if I enjoy the film at its conclusion. I was hoping it would teach me more about the founding fathers, but mostly I am noticing the wonderful songs and choreography.
The Return of the Revolutionaries is a book that describes the links between current personalities with those living here during the American Revolution. According to the author Semkiw, many are influential entertainers, thought leaders, and politicians. Semkiw claims to be the reincarnated John Adams and has a theory on how souls look very similar over lifetimes in terms of facial symmetry. The photographs provided are numerous, with many pointing to marked similarities in appearance. While it cannot be proven, it is fascinating to consider the soul group coming back now to live again and make a difference in shaping current society. I wonder if many of my soul group are part of the WordPress family?
While I have not had any visions or dreams to suggest to confirm my theory, I think it was likely that I also lived during the American Revolution right here in Philadephia. Many of the founders were astrologers and I do resonate so much with this city with its distinct flavor and energy. I do not think I was anyone of note, just another soul walking the Earth during those unsettling, critical times. I have several friends and some family I could visualize in colonial days. My interest in Quakerism also speaks to this linkage. I lived in Reading PA as a child and felt at home there. I chose to return to this area to go to college and remained after graduation. It is just a feeling that has been building inside of me. I know it does not really matter now, because future, past, and present are just constructs we use to make sense of linear time.
I do see my country as a microcosm of Gaia in that is a place created as an experiment of sorts that attracted in so many diverse souls of various frequencies and ways of being. I pray for my city, country, and planet that I call home for now. May she not just revolve around the time and space, but may she live up to the intention of a more perfect union, one of unity, freedom, equality, and peace.
With plenty of love
Check this out: I just found this video from Marianne Williamson with her Fourth of July Message. In it she speaks about the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution and why they matter so much today. According to Semkiw, Marianne is the reincarnation of Abigail Adams, the wife of John Adams. The video is very compelling in light of this connection: