Sadness at Solstice

Tomorrow morning at 6:51 AM EDT the sun rolls into the sign of Cancer and the Solstice begins: Summer in the Northern Hemisphere and Winter in the Southern Hemisphere. Let me take this time to say that people from at least 106 countries have visited litebeing chronicles and that is humbling. I try to be mindful of the diversity of my readers, particularly when describing astrological world events. Every continent is well represented and I want to say thanks for your time and interest!

Tonight’s post is not what I expected to produce a few days ago. I am not feeling the excitement and glow of the longest day of the year and the start of Summer. I am feeling Chiron’s sting. Chiron went retrograde ( in my first house) today at 8:44 AM EDT.  I have not felt so sad and defeated in quite some time. It has been a very arduous and tedious year, nothing like the wonder and awe of 2013. But tonight I feel a deepening well of sorrow in my heart. The heaviness and hopelessness is palpable and my requests for guidance have been denied. Where are my guides?

get-attachment (19)

I just realized as I edited this photo above that today marks the 2 year anniversary ( during the rare Venus transit) since I resigned from a potentially fulfilling but ultimately soul – devouring job. I am feeling some of those same feelings and asking many of the same questions, perhaps with a slightly different twist. I am reliving childhood wounds of rejection, isolation, alienation, judgement, criticism, and betrayal. I feel victimized, set-up to lose, misunderstood, and ignored.

The new twist on this shadow-dance is I am asking myself if I need the lessons anymore. Perhaps it is practical to recognize that some challenges are not worth fighting and some situations are not worth my time and energy. If only I could be sure! There was a time when I told myself that if I attracted a new person or situation into my life , the sheer manifestation was reason enough to embrace the lessons that accompanied the opportunity. Eventually I discovered that having a new boyfriend or moving to a new apartment did not equate to finally “finding the right one” or ” living the dream ” ( pun intended) !

Sometimes less is more or the lesson is how to let go and move on…

wikimedia free domain

Chiron

 So I am going to let the sadness be within me and feel its weight. I am not going to fight or resist. I will let myself live with the emotional currents and ride the waves of NOW.

take a listen:     wanna shadowbox?

 

in light and dark – litebeing

 

 

Chiron image courtesy of wikimedia public domain

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37 thoughts on “Sadness at Solstice

  1. Pingback: Dream ~ Skating On Thin Ice | litebeing chronicles

  2. Sorry I missed this post 😦 But, more importantly, it seems like things are brighter and more exciting for you. Just stick with your amazing story telling! Hope my summer posts will lighten your mood, it’s summer time Girl, go out and flash some skin, gotta ❤ that sunlight xox

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    1. You are a ray of sunshine for my soul 🙂
      Yes the darkness has lifted but it was quite heavy when I wrote this post and I try to honor my moods and then let them pass.

      lots of light to all , with love,
      Linda

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  3. Dear Linda,
    my heart is feeling your solitude and loneliness.. I wish I could turn your mind around right now.. to feel what i am experiencing… I am sending you heaps and Heaps of Love and Light to brighten up your world…
    I hope you can relax this weekend and turn your thoughts around .. And may I leave you another song. Just to cheer you up… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oo4OnQpwjkc

    Much love to you… Love Sue xoxox

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    1. Hi Sue,
      Thanks for all the love. Life is very busy and overwhelming, but I sense I am growing and integrating the old and new, past and present…

      Great song and artist, thanks!!

      love,
      Linda

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  4. Dear Linda… I don’t think it’s about lessons anymore it’s about embracing our darkness and shadow self, loving and integrating all parts of ourself to be whole… no judgement… I have also been working on the conscious breathe and ‘drinking deeply the parts of myself that are heavy and weary’, taking all of myself in which releases the energy from it’s banishment… It too will pass, take care Linda… Barbara x

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    1. me again… I also meant to add that in order for us to get through our next stage we have been left on purpose ‘alone’ to make our own choices ‘of as you so nicely say ‘riding the waves of NOW’… but your wordpress friends are here for you, sharing our journeys and are not alone… Love to you x Barbara x

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  5. Big hugs & love to you during this time. Thank you for allowing me to sit in this silence with you. Rest now. Heal. You will rise again.
    Love you!

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  6. I feel for you and hope you hang in there. Chiron is squaring my Sun right now and although I am not sad right now I do feel he has exposed a lot of my wounds. Hope you find your place of healing.
    Much love,
    Monika

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  7. Hi Linda,
    There were a couple of times that I was going to email you…and just be like… really? We can continue our other dialogue another time, but this is some intensity!! I had a classic merc. retrograde with the car issues and then my computer got wiped. I can barely edit text with my phone. I’ve been working on really *core* and deep to the middle issues on the side with visiting with my new family – thoughts that came up, fears, really old experiences colliding with promising new experiences.

    On the flip side, I’ve felt more free in my vulnerability than ever before, which ultimately feels like connectedness. I really hope you can allow your sadness to show you just how beautiful and precious you are, and how even deeper than the sadness is your own special role to play in this beautiful unfolding experience of life. I hope that this new job is better than it currently seems to you. There’s always hope, and sometimes the darkness leads us right to the golden kernel of light that reunites us with our soul. We are all in this together _/1\_ Holding the light in the dark *with* you,

    Much Love, Ka

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  8. Hi Linda,

    Sorry to hear that you are feeling sad. Please know that you are loved, exactly as you are, right at this moment, by so many of us here (and from all over the globe), and all those unseen.

    Much love!
    Debra

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  9. So sorry you are feeling so bad. 😦 Your guides are there with you…this process must be necessary (Chiron pulling up and cleaning out the old stuff, which I call left-overs) for you to receive what you wish for. In a few weeks when the Sun trines transit Chiron, things should become brighter. 🙂
    Btw, Sun just left trine to your natal Chiron, so it’s like it’s light is lost in a temporary void between transit and natal Chiron.
    Get some good rest and shine so bright the shadows disappear.
    Love and lIght,
    Julie

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    1. Hi Julie,
      I am resting and doing things I enjoy during my weekend to help heal and restore. I still feel very sad and my cold seems to have returned. I pray that my present condition is simply a piece of my awakening..

      xx linda

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      1. One of my favorite quotes by Kahlil Gilbran: The deeper that sorrow carves into my heart, the more joy it can contain.
        Let the cold cleanse out the sadness so more joy can radiate from your heart.

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  10. hi linda…sending you strength, peace, and light. this too shall pass, in its own perfect time. i’m also allowing myself to sink in to what i am feeling, and it is deep. much love ❤ aleya

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  11. Did you really just post Fiona?!?!?!?!?!?! I have seriously been listening to her for three days now!!!

    As usual, I am moved by your vulnerability and honesty and will keep you in my heart ❤ as you feel the inner currents moving through you…and face them courageously.

    Deep Love from your Gem Moon Sister…

    Namaste

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    1. Hi Amanda,
      When I used the word shadow dance, I thought of Fiona immediately as she is so dark and soulful.Then I remembered her song is shadow boxer , not shadow dance. I really like her debut Tidal.
      Thanks for your honesty and kindness.

      love to you,
      Linda

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