Tomorrow morning at 6:51 AM EDT the sun rolls into the sign of Cancer and the Solstice begins: Summer in the Northern Hemisphere and Winter in the Southern Hemisphere. Let me take this time to say that people from at least 106 countries have visited litebeing chronicles and that is humbling. I try to be mindful of the diversity of my readers, particularly when describing astrological world events. Every continent is well represented and I want to say thanks for your time and interest!
Tonight’s post is not what I expected to produce a few days ago. I am not feeling the excitement and glow of the longest day of the year and the start of Summer. I am feeling Chiron’s sting. Chiron went retrograde ( in my first house) today at 8:44 AM EDT. I have not felt so sad and defeated in quite some time. It has been a very arduous and tedious year, nothing like the wonder and awe of 2013. But tonight I feel a deepening well of sorrow in my heart. The heaviness and hopelessness is palpable and my requests for guidance have been denied. Where are my guides?
I just realized as I edited this photo above that today marks the 2 year anniversary ( during the rare Venus transit) since I resigned from a potentially fulfilling but ultimately soul – devouring job. I am feeling some of those same feelings and asking many of the same questions, perhaps with a slightly different twist. I am reliving childhood wounds of rejection, isolation, alienation, judgement, criticism, and betrayal. I feel victimized, set-up to lose, misunderstood, and ignored.
The new twist on this shadow-dance is I am asking myself if I need the lessons anymore. Perhaps it is practical to recognize that some challenges are not worth fighting and some situations are not worth my time and energy. If only I could be sure! There was a time when I told myself that if I attracted a new person or situation into my life , the sheer manifestation was reason enough to embrace the lessons that accompanied the opportunity. Eventually I discovered that having a new boyfriend or moving to a new apartment did not equate to finally “finding the right one” or ” living the dream ” ( pun intended) !
Sometimes less is more or the lesson is how to let go and move on…
So I am going to let the sadness be within me and feel its weight. I am not going to fight or resist. I will let myself live with the emotional currents and ride the waves of NOW.
take a listen: wanna shadowbox?
in light and dark – litebeing
Chiron image courtesy of wikimedia public domain