Dealing with my anger has been challenging. Now that I have a minor? concussion, I have noticed my agitation increase. It is one of many possible manifestations of a brain injury, but hey, I’ve felt agitated for many years. I am wired with a short fuse and an impatient nature.
Anger has plagued me off and on through out my life. As a young adult, my temper was out of control at times. My behavior has certainly calmed down as I have matured, but often impatience or anxiety morph into verbal outbursts that I quickly regret.
I have been consciously working on monitoring my agitation and managing my responses accordingly. Lately as work as become more stressful, I notice resentment becoming more dominant in daily living. Honestly, life has really been throwing me so much more than I am capable of handling. So I am slowing down even more and redirecting my thoughts as often as needed.
Yesterday I visited Cake for the first time, for what I hoped would be a quick lunch. It is a lovely little restaurant/bakery attached to a popular gift boutique. It is known to be loud and crowded, but I figured it would be quiet this weekend. I was wrong.
I was made to wait an inordinate amount of time for a table. I thought it was because I was dining alone and this is a long-held resentment of mine. I have thought that single people are treated poorly by the public in general. It turns out that in this instance it was not the case. But yet I was snarky, sarcastic, and nasty to some of the staff and I noticed it was creating much negativity. I wanted to change this energy if I could. What if it is time for this long-held belief to be discarded?
Once I was seated, I began to relax. I noticed a couple of women dining to my left and one of them was wearing exquisite, unusual jewelry. I did something I rarely do, I initiated a conversation with them. It felt awkward initially, but one of the women eventually engaged with me. I complimented her on the fabulous bracelet and ring she was wearing. Turns out the pink ring was a pink sapphire. It was otherworldly in its beauty. We discussed local restaurants and I was given the names of some vegetarian places to try. Considering my dietary changes, I am on the lookout for healthier places to add to my list. I am glad that I made the overture as it was beneficial for all concerned.
The food at Cake was delicious. While the waitress was not so great, I decided to be gracious. She reminded me of Jennifer Aniston and I told her so. She lit up at this remark and her energy shifted. As she became softer, so did I. Love when that happens!
I flashed back to a recent day out with my mom. She is an extrovert and delights in talking with random people wherever she goes. I can now see how extending myself and shifting my focus can have excellent results. It was not an easy transformation, but definitely worthwhile. Who said spiritual growth was a piece of cake?
cake photo ~ wikipedia.org, public domain