INFJ at the Holidays?

Now in the thick of the holiday season, I am acutely aware that for many souls, this time of year is very difficult. Let’s look out for one another and also practice self-care. love to all ❤

litebeing chronicles

Happy Mercury Direct everyone! It may take a few days to notice a decrease in mechanical , electronic and communication glitches. Hard to believe 2018 is coming to an end, when I can hardly catch my breath. I have re-posted this “Holiday Classic” from the archives, hoping it will be useful to those who are in need of self-care at this time. 

Enjoy this re-tread and feel free to comment.

I was ready to dive into an astrology article including Taylor Swift, but she will have to shake it off just a little bit longer. I am sensing a need to write about how to navigate the holiday season with fun and a lot less drama. I have wanted to write about INFJs and HSPs ( Highly Sensitive People) for a while, and this seems to be the perfect time.

wikiart public domain

 Where is the INFJ in this picture?

He or she is probably…

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INFJ at the Holidays?

Happy Mercury Direct everyone! It may take a few days to notice a decrease in mechanical , electronic and communication glitches. Hard to believe 2018 is coming to an end, when I can hardly catch my breath. I have re-posted this “Holiday Classic” from the archives, hoping it will be useful to those who are in need of self-care at this time. 

 

Enjoy this re-tread and feel free to comment.

I was ready to dive into an astrology article including Taylor Swift, but she will have to shake it off just a little bit longer. I am sensing a need to write about how to navigate the holiday season with fun and a lot less drama. I have wanted to write about INFJs and HSPs ( Highly Sensitive People) for a while, and this seems to be the perfect time.

wikiart public domain

 Where is the INFJ in this picture?

He or she is probably in the basement or store bathroom with their hands over their ears! The INFJ personality is very sensitive, intuitive, headstrong, and idealistic. This  archetype is also generally quite introverted, perfectionistic, and value-driven. I think the HSP personality is a derivative of the INF ( Introvert Intuitive Feeling) categories in the Myers Briggs system.

As a card-carrying member of both clubs, I can unequivocally say that this time of year can be difficult. While I am still carrying out my radical gratitude practice, I am also aware that taking practical steps towards improved self-care should not be brushed aside. Be grateful that you are swamped with party invitations, but don’t feel obligated to attend all of them.

Here are some helpful tips for INFJs and HSPs and the people who love them. Take them with copious grains of salt and discernment. You will know what works best for you.

1 – Goody – goody, my inner self replies. INFJs love lists, plans and calendars! We are not the most flexible people on the planet and can get stressed out with spontaneous or last-minute changes in plans. It is OK to decline an invitation or suggest a quiet get together after the holidays. Know your limits and respect them.

2 – If you are at a dinner or party with an INFJ or HSP and engage them in small talk or gossip, don’t be surprised if they tune you out or head for the nearest exit. We like to communicate, but we don’t do meaningless chat. Ask us about what we are reading or our favorite causes. Tell us about your hopes and dreams or your ideal travel destination. Don’t bore us with tales about The Housewives of Las Vegas or details on your brother’s latest get rich scheme.

3 – We get overstimulated quickly and crowds make us uneasy. I have learned to pick and choose my social activities wisely. If I find myself in a setting that is too loud or negative or just plain chaotic, I will seek out someone whose company I enjoy and strike up a conversation. If that isn’t possible, I will excuse myself and leave. I am not shy and can easily initiate conversations. INFJs and HSPs are not necessarily shy wallflowers. Where you fit on the continuum will determine how introverted and sensitive you are, and that is often subject to change. Introversion does not imply shyness anyway. It means that we are drained by people. We are energized by going within.  I love interacting with people in real-time, but I need to have some control over my environment and know my limitations.

4 – If you notice you are overindulging in food or alcohol, it may be a sign that you are stuffing your emotions. I have coped with over-stimulation in the past by drinking way too much and I don’t really like to drink! Listen to the messages that your feelings deliver to you instead, and don’t behave in ways that don’t serve you. There is a difference between enjoying holiday treats and self-medicating. If you do not know the difference, get some support so that you can learn what works for you. Ask yourself if it is really worth it to alter your brain chemistry just to be in a room with people.

5 – Sensitive types often react to stress in a variety of ways. We are prone to migraines, digestive issues, and allergies. Some fragrances and noises trigger these reactions. Do not take it personally if we cannot be around your perfume or cigarette smoke or accompany you to a rave at the local warehouse. It isn’t you , it is us. Sensitivity is such a tremendous gift, but it comes with a price.

6 – In this hyper-consumerism culture, the pressure is high to buy, buy, buy. INFJs love to please our loved ones with unique, person-specific gifts. We delight in these details and remember that you adored that one-of- a- kind brooch while window shopping last July. Again, it is important to be kind to yourself. It really is okay if you cannot afford to buy everything for everyone all of the time. We can be so hard on ourselves and that self-criticism can be projected onto others when it gets out of hand. Let yourself off your self-imposed hook. If money is tight or time is limited, use your creativity instead. Bake, sew, knit, draw, or  photograph personal tokens of holiday cheer. It really is the thought that counts at the end of the day. This is why I really prefer Thanksgiving!

7 – Last but not least, feed your soul. HSPs and INFJs really benefit from the following activities: walk in nature, meditate, pray, create art, visit places of beauty, do yoga, take frequent breaks from your routine to just BE, write, play an instrument, read…  The more you love yourself, the better prepared you are to be in the world, but not of the world.

Please let me know if I forgot anything. Fellow INFJs and HSPs, I know you are out there!

 

Resources:

http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/

http://www.hsperson.com

http://www.hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

http://mbtitoday.org/carl-jung-psychological-type/  

 

Related post: https://litebeing.com/2013/07/02/an-interesting-detailed-description-of-the-infj/

image by wikiart.org, public domain

INFJ at the Holidays?

HAPPY SAG DAY! Today the sun entered Sagittarius and all is right in your world, right?

This was a pre-Christmas post, but I suspect it will be useful right about now. After I ran my Grief and Loss group today on the topic of coping with family and loss during the holidays and reflected on my current family drama, I realized that sometimes we need to recalibrate our boundaries and love ourselves more, not less.

Enjoy this re-tread and feel free to comment.

I was ready to dive into an astrology article including Taylor Swift, but she will have to shake it off just a little bit longer. I am sensing a need to write about how to navigate the holiday season with fun and a lot less drama. I have wanted to write about INFJs and HSPs ( Highly Sensitive People) for a while, and this seems to be the perfect time.

wikiart public domain

 Where is the INFJ in this picture?

He or she is probably in the basement or store bathroom with their hands over their ears! The INFJ personality is very sensitive, intuitive, headstrong, and idealistic. This  archetype is also generally quite introverted, perfectionistic, and value-driven. I think the HSP personality is a derivative of the INF ( Introvert Intuitive Feeling) categories in the Myers Briggs system.

As a card-carrying member of both clubs, I can unequivocally say that this time of year can be difficult. While I am still carrying out my radical gratitude practice, I am also aware that taking practical steps towards improved self-care should not be brushed aside. Be grateful that you are swamped with party invitations, but don’t feel obligated to attend all of them.

Here are some helpful tips for INFJs and HSPs and the people who love them. Take them with copious grains of salt and discernment. You will know what works best for you.

1 – Goody – goody, my inner self replies. INFJs love lists, plans and calendars! We are not the most flexible people on the planet and can get stressed out with spontaneous or last-minute changes in plans. It is OK to decline an invitation or suggest a quiet get together after the holidays. Know your limits and respect them.

2 – If you are at a dinner or party with an INFJ or HSP and engage them in small talk or gossip, don’t be surprised if they tune you out or head for the nearest exit. We like to communicate, but we don’t do meaningless chat. Ask us about what we are reading or our favorite causes. Tell us about your hopes and dreams or your ideal travel destination. Don’t bore us with tales about The Housewives of Las Vegas or details on your brother’s latest get rich scheme.

3 – We get overstimulated quickly and crowds make us uneasy. I have learned to pick and choose my social activities wisely. If I find myself in a setting that is too loud or negative or just plain chaotic, I will seek out someone whose company I enjoy and strike up a conversation. If that isn’t possible, I will excuse myself and leave. I am not shy and can easily initiate conversations. INFJs and HSPs are not necessarily shy wallflowers. Where you fit on the continuum will determine how introverted and sensitive you are, and that is often subject to change. Introversion does not imply shyness anyway. It means that we are drained by people. We are energized by going within.  I love interacting with people in real-time, but I need to have some control over my environment and know my limitations.

4 – If you notice you are overindulging in food or alcohol, it may be a sign that you are stuffing your emotions. I have coped with over-stimulation in the past by drinking way too much and I don’t really like to drink! Listen to the messages that your feelings deliver to you instead, and don’t behave in ways that don’t serve you. There is a difference between enjoying holiday treats and self-medicating. If you do not know the difference, get some support so that you can learn what works for you. Ask yourself if it is really worth it to alter your brain chemistry just to be in a room with people.

5 – Sensitive types often react to stress in a variety of ways. We are prone to migraines, digestive issues, and allergies. Some fragrances and noises trigger these reactions. Do not take it personally if we cannot be around your perfume or cigarette smoke or accompany you to a rave at the local warehouse. It isn’t you , it is us. Sensitivity is such a tremendous gift, but it comes with a price.

6 – In this hyper-consumerism culture, the pressure is high to buy, buy, buy. INFJs love to please our loved ones with unique, person-specific gifts. We delight in these details and remember that you adored that one-of- a- kind brooch while window shopping last July. Again, it is important to be kind to yourself. It really is okay if you cannot afford to buy everything for everyone all of the time. We can be so hard on ourselves and that self-criticism can be projected onto others when it gets out of hand. Let yourself off your self-imposed hook. If money is tight or time is limited, use your creativity instead. Bake, sew, knit, draw, or  photograph personal tokens of holiday cheer. It really is the thought that counts at the end of the day. This is why I really prefer Thanksgiving!

7 – Last but not least, feed your soul. HSPs and INFJs really benefit from the following activities: walk in nature, meditate, pray, create art, visit places of beauty, do yoga, take frequent breaks from your routine to just BE, write, play an instrument, read…  The more you love yourself, the better prepared you are to be in the world, but not of the world.

Please let me know if I forgot anything. Fellow INFJs and HSPs, I know you are out there!

 

Resources:

http://www.myersbriggs.org/my-mbti-personality-type/mbti-basics/

http://www.hsperson.com

http://www.hsperson.com/test/highly-sensitive-test/

http://mbtitoday.org/carl-jung-psychological-type/  

 

Related post: https://litebeing.com/2013/07/02/an-interesting-detailed-description-of-the-infj/

image by wikiart.org, public domain

Piece of Cake

wikipedia.org public domain

Dealing with my anger has been challenging. Now that I have a minor? concussion, I have noticed my agitation increase. It is one of many possible manifestations of a brain injury, but hey, I’ve felt agitated for many years. I am wired with a short fuse and an impatient nature.

Anger has plagued me off and on through out my life. As a young adult, my temper was out of control at times. My behavior has certainly calmed down as I have matured, but often impatience or anxiety morph into verbal outbursts that I quickly regret.

I have been consciously working on monitoring my agitation and managing my responses  accordingly. Lately as work as become more stressful, I notice resentment becoming more dominant in daily living. Honestly, life has really been throwing me so much more than I am capable of handling. So I am slowing down even more and redirecting my thoughts as often as needed.

Yesterday I visited Cake for the first time, for what I hoped would be a quick lunch. It is a lovely little restaurant/bakery attached to a popular gift boutique. It is known to be loud and crowded, but I figured it would be quiet this weekend. I was wrong.

I was made to wait an inordinate amount of time for a table. I thought it was because I was dining alone and this is a long-held resentment of mine. I have thought that single people are treated poorly by the public in general. It turns out that in this instance it was not the case. But yet I was snarky, sarcastic, and nasty to some of the staff and I noticed it was creating much negativity. I wanted to change this energy if I could. What if it is time for this long-held belief to be discarded?

Once I was seated, I began to relax. I noticed a couple of women dining to my left and one of them was wearing exquisite, unusual jewelry. I did something I rarely do, I initiated a conversation with them.  It felt awkward initially, but one of the women eventually engaged with me. I complimented her on the fabulous bracelet and ring she was wearing. Turns out the pink ring was a pink sapphire. It was otherworldly in its beauty. We discussed local restaurants and I was given the names of some vegetarian places to try. Considering my dietary changes, I am on the lookout for healthier places to add to my list. I am glad that I made the overture as it was beneficial for all concerned.

The food at Cake was delicious. While the waitress was not so great, I decided to be gracious. She reminded me of Jennifer Aniston and I told her so. She lit up at this remark and her energy shifted. As she became softer, so did I. Love when that happens!

I flashed back to a recent day out with my mom. She is an extrovert and delights in talking with random people wherever she goes. I can now see how extending myself and shifting my focus can have excellent results. It was not an easy transformation, but definitely worthwhile. Who said spiritual growth was a piece of cake?

 

cake photo ~ wikipedia.org, public domain

Happy Introvert Day!

I just found out that January 2nd is National Introvert Day. While I consistently score in the middle of the introvert/extrovert continuum, I own my introversion tendencies. I notice them the most while in the company of extroverts or when I get home after a overstimulating day among people.

Here is a fabulous article on INFJs that I reblogged back in 2013. It was one of the most popular posts for that year.

Are you an introvert or extrovert?

How does this quality reveal itself to you?

 

I have read many articles about the INFJ profile and this is by far the most comprehensive. More importantly, it is incredibly accurate. Thank you to Marina of Her Locket for this great ” love letter” to INFJs and those who live in the land of possibility and metaphor. Since the copy and reblog functions are not working ( early Merc Retro madness?). please click on the link above to read the article.

Money Don’t Matter Tonight

Please listen to this track before you continue, or use in the background to provide a soundtrack for this article:

money don’t matter

This song has been stuck in my brain for weeks now. I have not listened to this old Prince song in years. That’s until I noticed it on Ann’s blog here. I cannot get it off my mind. With my current financial challenges, it is no wonder that money or lack of money has been a source of musical contemplation ( among other things ).

When I consider that I have had Uranus transiting my 2nd house of money for a while now, it should come as no surprise that money slips through my fingers, or just plain eludes my grasp. Sometimes this transit results in windfalls or fortune out of the blue, but not in my case ( yet). What has happened is that I find myself with just enough. The sources change and the amounts vary, but my ruler Uranus is protecting me.

Never been one to get too caught up in the consumer game, yet I wish I could shower my loved ones with wonderful gifts on birthdays and holidays. I really like shopping for others and watching their facial expressions upon opening their gifts. I try to remind myself that there are many other ways to celebrate those you care about.  I could become bitter about my situation, but I am done with bitter. I have wasted enough time asking myself questions without answers.

I prefer bittersweet anyway ( chocolate, coffee) etc. ,  But I digress..

US_$2_obverse

This month of November has been so incredibly rich in the best possible way for me. Spending time with friends has been so rewarding. Birthday road trips, reunions with long-lost pals, meeting new friends, my cup runneth over with love all month-long. My INFJ  tendencies preclude large soirees and gatherings. I still tense up when meeting new people socially, even after all this time. Yet I have become more at ease in my own skin, and really enjoy myself so much more. With Pluto about to leave my 11th house of friends in a few months, I want to shake his hand. Pluto , you truly outdid yourself this time!  I really have the most incredible people in my life. Perhaps Pluto gifted me with more Plutonian type affiliations, and/or transformed some former connections into shinier, brighter, new ones. It is most likely that anything I experience outside of myself has to do with internal transformation. Call it the Law of Attraction, higher vibrations, or just better judgement, but I would not trade in any of these folks in ( yes that includes YOU); even for a newer car. Remember the song ” Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver but the other gold.” Well I cannot distinguish the new from old as all my peeps are dear old souls. When it comes to my tribe, we are talking  platinum all the way.

The kindness and generosity I have experienced lately boggles my mind. How did I get so lucky to deserve such good care? Truth is, we all deserve the best, but rarely embrace it for fear of loss or simply not feeling worthy. These are also Second House concerns. I used to find it curious that income and self-esteem would be contained in the same sector of life of the natal chart. But after living some time without financial solvency or reliable employment, I am beginning to see the connection.

I have some tough choices ahead of me if I do not secure a sufficient income soon. This is not news to me, just needs to be accepted as a  real possibility.  Yet, I am realizing more and more that I lately have so much more of the life I once only dreamed about. Good friends and a bunch of creative ideas waiting in the wings fulfills my soul and helps me sleep more soundly. Being who you really are and sharing yourself with others is the best job description I have ever seen. It does not always pay well, but the benefits are off the charts.

I can sleep well most nights because I take much better care of my soul. Prince and I would agree that the soul’s needs are much more important tonight.

And Every Night

header and dollar image courtesy wikimedia.org, public domain

Dream ~ Skating On Thin Ice

wikimedia free domain

Yesterday morning right before awakening I had a very brief but powerful dream. I could not find a parking spot so I walked out of my car onto a cold quiet lot. I encountered patches of ice. I am afraid of ice because I tend to fall frequently with painful consequences. In the dream I stepped onto some ice and I glided. I glided and ” skated ” onto the next icy stretch. After I crossed over onto the dry pavement, I noticed an empty parking space emerge out of nowhere. I was quite surprised. I decided to get back into my car to move into the vacant spot.

Then I woke up.

I did a ” mini-analysis.” and concluded that when I face my fears and learn to glide on the ice, solutions and possibilities can manifest for me.

Well today in the wake of a relentlessly punitive Full Moon square Saturn that hit my Ascendent/Descendant axis and Scorpio planets, I left my job. I was there for 3 months, which equals a square in Astrology. A square is typically a dynamic aspect that activates movement.  This lunation took the lives of 2 legendary performers and Ajay. And it is what it is.

I loved the chance I had to teach and mentor people, especially those who were excited about their calling to help facilitate growth and healing in others. I was damned good at it and I will miss it dearly.  I detested the politics, manipulation, and sheer cruelty that often predominates in toxic work environments. I am not surprised that my heart began to harden and my light began to diminish. I have been here before.

I keep reflecting on Aleya’s recent posts, particularly this one.

I am kinda stunned I am blogging on this icky life event, but I am a writer. At my new job, I told everyone ” I am a writer.” Never did that before. But it is a fact.

Maybe that is why I can blog while feeling so much pain and regret.

Thanks for giving me a forum where I can be brutally authentic and unapologetically me. I have absolutely no idea what comes next. As an INFJ, this can be frightening.

Guess I will have to learn to skate on thin ice until I see my way clear to my next available parking space.

image credit ~ wikimedia.org public domain

If you are in the mood for an apropos tune from a fellow Uranian:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gFCW3PHBws

PS: Jupiter and Venus transiting one’s 6th house does not always translate to harmony and fortune in the workplace. Just sayin’

Related posts: https://litebeing.com/2014/06/20/sadness-at-solstice/

https://litebeing.com/2013/12/20/a-dream-sampler-my-winter-solstice-tribute/