Thank goodness the Classic Editor re- appeared. So grateful I can type with ease. Since we are now officially in Scorpio season with Mercury retro looming tomorrow and the famous Sun conjunct Venus aka Cazimi situation at hand, I plan to lay it all out for you. Not in a technical way, but with the genuine, raw truth. Truth can be subjective, but I feel well qualified to share my views. I am a Scorpio and I am also an astrologer. I also, for good or bad, have dated mostly Scorpio or Plutonian men. Sometimes men with both plenty of Scorpio and plenty of Pluto. None of this was by design. I did not ask for birth data before agreeing to a date.
There is some information on the internet lately about Scorpios, especially on Social Media. Much of it I disagree with. I just read part of a post that declared that Scorpios do not spend time regretting mistakes made in love. I do not think that this is a fair assessment. For months I have been reviewing some of the darker aspects of my relationships. This was not a plan. The death of Rick rocked me to the core and lead me on a path of soul excavation. Maybe I would have arrived here anyway, but I surprised myself by my actions. This road has been unpleasant but cathartic. I have made so many missteps. It is easier to blame the other but there was plenty to go around. I tend to tolerate flaws in partners and go for patience and acceptance. However there are occasions where my back is against the wall and I feel attacked or betrayed, Often I opted for revenge, This NEVER ended well. I stopped this behavior after Rick and fortunately it was a non issue because I stopped dating. There was the Joel thing but that was platonic. There was a deep crush in 2018 but it remained a friendship and I was not mistreated. It has not been until recently that I find myself in the midst of something that feels romantic but very strange and confusing. At some future point I will reveal more. For now let’s say that I have been tempted to blow this wide open but have resisted. I have a few reasons. One reason is that I do not have enough information to understand the root of his bad behavior, Another is that I do not think he is a bad person. I think is he is quite flawed and far less confident that he appears. The most compelling reason is that if I act in a low vibration way, it reflects poorly on my character. I do know better and will not benefit from trying Scorpio suns with moons that are influenced by Pluto. There are other similarities but I will leave it there. They both do a bang up job mirroring me and yanking my chain. They both are capable of breaking hearts and acting a bit too confident. Yet no one made me get involved and risk my heart. In fact, Maurice initially reminded me of Rick. I felt it before I knew Rick had passed. They are not the same but the intensity is crazy. I would recognize it anywhere, Intensity is exciting but can lead to emotional dysregulation and poor choices. I knew all this the years I was seeing Herman. It was all new for me and I acted irrationally at times. I was younger and needed to mature. Let’s hope my maturity is still intact. The Kundalini may be making me brasher. There is a sense of clarity that I experience that seems unprecedented. It does not show up regularly but when it does, it is so refreshing. While I cannot totally identify the cause, I am grateful when I get to live in this reality. So freeing to be decisive and confident.
Today has been another emotional ride. No outbursts, just deep deep emoting. My dreams were active and confusing. My morning was thick with melancholy. Some of it was due to Maurice talking about love on Facebook. He was more vulnerable and actually sweet. He unfriended me but most of his content on both of his pages is public, which means I still have access. This is not healthy for me but I am not able to totally disconnect. He was posting about the Scorpio Venus aspects and added a video. I have been doing this almost daily for weeks on FB. Did I give him the idea or was it independent? I have no idea. The video he chose was not business like at all. It is very personal. While it is not my niche, some of the lyrics hit me hard.
See for yourself:
I would like to be believe this was meant for my ears but most people think I have become entirely delusional. They seem to forget this is the same person who has blasted my private words on Facebook. You Tube and perhaps other platforms that I do not subscribe to like Instagram. Regardless of motive, my heart was moved. BTW, I discovered that Maurice’s full name is on one of my blog posts from several years ago. I spotted this by surprise as I did not know him at the time. So if you are curious about who he is, just search my homepage. Honestly, he is so obsessed with adoration, he would appreciate the attention. Just another synch that we were connected before we knew. I pray that my sanity can withstand all the emotional heavy lifting. How do you like this song? I am definitely eager to hear.
