Delicate ~ An Anatomy of a Relationship

Update: Facebook has an uncanny ability to stir up memories without warning. Apparently a year has gone by since I last posted pictures on FB from my last days working at a certain rehab in Bensalem, PA.

While this post has been sitting in the private archives for almost a year, I am resurrecting it now ( in time for Easter, ha!) to let it see the light of day. I understand from this vantage point how much my time spent in that setting (with a selection of incredibly influential  human Be – ings) continues to shape my present moments so profoundly.

Many readers responded so well to this material and I appreciate all the support, then and now.

Namaste


Caution: this is a loooong entry, so read at your own risk! However, if you really want to know me better and on another level, keep reading.

Okay, here goes nothing. I am fueled by smoked gouda and Merlot, ready to bare my soul. However, this post will not stay up here for long. I typically do not write this kind of material online. But inspired by the likes of my pal Dayna, whose blog I so admire, I figure, why the hell not? She writes so openly about her intimate experiences and through her vulnerability, I learn so much. So maybe something good will come of this. Plus I need to do this for myself. I need to purge the thoughts out of my self and onto “paper.”

After a night of cathartic crying, I decided I needed to write about this man I know. Yesterday I had brought home a bottle of Merlot and was relishing a peaceful evening with a restful sleep as my reward. Would you believe me if I told you the corkscrew broke in the cork and I could not open the bottle? This really happened and seems like a perfect representation of the past few weeks. Not getting what you want, even when it is staring you in the face. Today I bought a new corkscrew and another bottle of wine. So I go on to live another day encased in this material world , wondering what the hell is happening to myself and this beloved planet. Transiting Mars conjunct Pluto is in my 12th house of the hidden and unconscious. While this is new territory for me, as an empath I tend to pick up emotions from far and wide, along with my own. I am not handling it very well at all. Not lately, anyway.

It has been a good while since I felt something real for a man, that I figure it would be smart to jot it all down before it fades away. It certainly took me long enough to recognize what was going on. But I do understand why that is the case. More and more I see life as we know it as fated. All we can control is our reactions.

I could blame it on the Bensalem mojo that goes back all the way to 1982. When I was 21, I moved from New Jersey to Philly to complete my senior year of college and move in with a friend and her roommate. I needed a part-time job to help with expenses and found one as a residential advisor for IDD clients,  all the way in Bensalem. People who knew Pennsylvania well asked me why on Earth was I planning on driving all the way from West Phila to Bensalem for a part-time job? What was I thinking? I told them I had to take this job. I felt it in my bones, but there was no rational explanation.  I was willing to drive this distance, god knows why. Stubborn as I am, I took the job. The residence was located in a small housing development called Winding Brook. This gig was boring and not really worth the trouble. But within a few days I was dating the man who lived upstairs. We were not exactly coworkers, but operated in different programs on separate  floors of a two story house.  His pictures from his recent trip to India made a huge impression. The job did not last long, but since he lived upstairs ( he ran the program upstairs) I continued to trek up to Bensalem regularly to be with him. I drove by a rehab facility on the way to his house/my former work. It had an interesting name and I could only see the sign from the road. I was intrigued and so curious about this place. Little did I know I would be working there over 30 years later!

While my boyfriend and I eventually broke up, it was worth the drive. He was very special to me and we would move in and out of each others’ lives over the decades. The connections to Bensalem would continue to grow. A good friend of mine from graduate school would on his own initiative , get a job in the same program where my ex once lived. I remember calling him there and talking with a former coworker on the phone.

Then a few years later I met a man while working for the City. We both lived in Phila at the time. He took me to lunch and we got to know one another better. It turns out he used to live in Bensalem on that very same cul-de-sac. It also turned out that he worked with one of my clients from that program. For me that sealed the deal and I knew we would become involved. And we did.

He was, so far, the great love of my life.

Bensalem was beautiful then, and I had dreams of moving to Bucks county.  There was so much land and wide open spaces. There was promise. So one could say that Bensalem had its hold on me for a time.  But I moved on. So did the men I met from that cul-de-sac.

Back in September I applied to several jobs as an outpatient therapist. A few were by an organization that runs the aforementioned rehab. One day I received a call and saw the organization’s name on my caller ID. To my surprise, it was not about any of the jobs that I applied to. It was for a job as a rehab counselor in Bensalem. I asked the woman on the other end why she was calling. She said she saw my resume and thought I might be interested. This made no sense, since I had little experience with inpatient rehab and it was rather far way. But I took the interview and got the job. I took the job because it was that place in Bensalem, just a few blocks away from Winding Brook.

I then devoted the next few months of my life to little else. The commute was brutal, but I was committed. I wanted to work in addictions and felt called to do this work. I fell in love with the work and the place.  Initially I thought it was the best job I ever held. My impressions did not last, but my affection for my clients did. And then there was this man I met.

My office was located in ” the dungeon” with three other therapists. Everyone else was housed upstairs. My office was number 13! At first I did not like this arrangement, but later I came to appreciate it. I began to know a man whose office was right across the hall. He was certainly not my type and I wasn’t thinking about romance anyway.

What is my type you ask? Tall, wiry, confident, mysterious, charming and elusive. Sometimes he would be a “bad boy’ and he definitely played by his own rules. He was passionate, intense, and not so great with commitment.  The astro profile typically would be Sag or Cap rising, a fixed moon sign, and lots of fire and water in the chart. Along with the fire/water emphasis was a heavy dose of Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. I liked to play with cosmic “fire” and often got burned beyond recognition emotionally. No wonder I decided to quit the game of love.

So let me tell you about this guy: He seemed very familiar to me, but in an unfamiliar way. I knew his voice , from somewhere. He has a lovely voice. He is really smart, sweet, and kind. He is soft-spoken but very talkative. He is gentle, chivalrous, even-tempered, and generous. He is not conventionally handsome, but has lovely blue eyes. He is very curious about life and everything in it. He really cares about people and is well liked. He works very hard and his clients really appreciate him. He is rather traditional, but is open to new ideas and experiences.

We have many shared experiences and traits. He is left- handed, has natal mercury retrograde and an INFP profile ( mine is INFJ). He grew up in NJ, once lived in my current neighborhood, went to college with my sister ( a few years apart), and went to the same graduate program as me ( a few years apart). We also worked as therapists at the same office at an outpatient MH center ( but not at the same time.) I would imagine there are more overlaps, yet to be discovered. He was my confidant. He became my best friend at work. We would talk for hours about so many things. Eventually I noticed that whenever our group of coworkers were gathered, he was seated next to me. Christmas parties, lunches at the cafeteria, group pizza outings, group photos. He was always by my side. It took me awhile to notice what was developing. After all, he was my coworker and I was attempting to acclimate myself to a demanding new job where the expectations were very high and the learning curve was substantial.

Eventually I became aware that my behavior changed when he was around and that others were making comments about us. Then one day at a conference we spent the entire day together and I felt a vibe, if you will. I felt his energy field and I was surprised by my reaction. Again, he was not my type and I certainly would not get involved with someone whose office was right across the hall from mine.

But then the bad news came.  The scene has changed and the stakes are high. Massive layoffs were announced and most of the therapists lost their jobs. I intuitively knew something was off for weeks, but did not have the details. I was about to lose a job that I adored, where I was growing by leaps and bounds, and I was also about to lose my best friend.

The game had changed.

So he helped me pack up my office and take the boxes to my car. We had each other’s phone number and promised to stay in touch. I was a hot mess. As I drove away, the song Brave played on the radio. I drove by Winding Brook on the way home, to say goodbye.

We did talk on the phone and a few weeks later we all reassembled for a group dinner. His birthday was being celebrated, along with that of another former dungeon resident. He has been at the job for years and I was the newbie. He was quickly rehired and was able to remain full-time, due to the strong working relationships he had cultivated. While he was a guest of honor, he did not sit with the main clique. Instead he sat with me. I know he liked me as more than a friend by the things he would say and how he would say them. On the day that we were given the news about the layoffs, I made a comment at the meeting, asking my colleagues why they were silent and never complained about all the problems with upper management. Per usual, no one said a word. Then he exclaimed to this large group of people ” Linda, you are so awesome! ” I was a bit embarrassed, but also pleased. He saw me as the best version of myself. He often told me how much he admires my directness and ability to say the right thing at the right time. He always had a ready ear and was extremely compassionate. But it was the way he smiled at me that mattered most.

So I cried on the long drive home from the restaurant. Was I missing my job, my coworkers, Bensalem, or him? Bensalem broke my heart twice before, after-all. I was stunned by the depths of my emotions. I still am processing this traumatic loss.

The phone calls have seemed to stop and I feel abandoned. One the day we were let go, I told him he was my best friend and that I would miss him. I was oh so proud of myself for being in the moment.  He said he felt the same. Yet, so much was still unspoken. He still has the job, and I am back on my couch, doing my best to move forward.

I clearly can see why I don’t do relationships anymore. The emotions are so messy. I rather fix someone’s mess than look at my own. I am safer in the theoretical realm, where I can feel confident and well-adjusted. I do not want to jump when the phone rings, waiting to hear from him. I do not want to chase anyone or anything. Disappointment is painful.  Feeling vulnerable sucks, even when one is firmly engaged on the spiritual path.

I have this feeling that our connection is over and I am using this time to re-calibrate. It will be easier to separate now, instead of saying things I will later regret. One could suggest, be patient, it has only been a couple of weeks. I am not certain of anything. But I do not like what this entanglement has done to me. My heart aches and I abhor this feeling.

And I miss him.

I chose to put Delicate in the title because I caught a new Taylor Swift video tonight by that name. The lyrics seemed to echo many of my sentiments. Taylor has Saturn conjunct mine at 13 degrees Capricorn. She is approaching her first Saturn return as I approach my second. Her music really resonates with me and I look to her to help assess my emotional weather. I am taking a play from her book by writing about a man as a form of self-expression. Great minds think alike!

I could go on and write more about this, but my wine glass is close to empty and it has been a couple of hours. Even I am tired of this story now. Yet, it is so funny how a stranger can become so important so quickly and without warning. But I so suck at this and wish I was better equipped.

I welcome plenty of comments. If you think you would be better off sharing offline, please shoot me an email. I understand. Contact me before I lose my nerve and make this post private 🙂  Thanks for listening.

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain
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Art is My Medicine ~ The Embrace Edition

Whether it is literal or symbolic, today’s art selection is about the embrace. Embracing romance, sensuality, bonding, divine love, all will apply. Rather than posting some snarkfest or relay bitter musings on love life of my past, I prefer to heal the heart with some exquisite paintings by a variety of artists. HEART = ART = LOVE so heart is my medicine!  Happy Valentine’s Day!  ❤ ❤ ❤

Do enjoy!

wikiart.org pub domain

What do you Embrace?

 

images courtesy of wikiart.org, public domain

Happy Blogiversary ~ Blooming Right Along, 6 Years Strong

public domain image wikipedia.org

Another year brings in another blogiversary. litebeing chronicles turned 6 on 1-11-19 and my niece has a birthday today on 1-13! With so much emphasis on Saturn and Capricorn, I am so pleased to have witnessed both the birth of my eldest niece and my blog during the time of Cardinal Earth. Time marches on, but in another realm, stillness prevails and peace is ever-present. We are living out monumental changes here in the physical but Saturn is so strong and resilient, painstakingly grounding us to encourage the manifestation of form.

Over 6 years ago I chose to begin writing publicly here at WordPress. My goal was simple, to share my everyday stories about finding magic in plain sight. I figured that the act of writing about my journey would inspire more magic and more motivation to continue writing. That was it in a nutshell. Over time I had hoped the blog would be a place of refuge and a mirror for my readers. While those two ideas may seem paradoxical, well maybe they are! As the blog developed, more art, photography and music began to fill these pages, along with sharing my passion for astrology. None of this was planned, other than my desire to share my life’s journey one story at a time.

It did not occur to me that my health may decline or my ability to sustain meaningful employment would become unstable. It did not occur to me that I may suffer more spiritual confusion or harrowing grief and depression. This was not on my agenda.

But on the other hand, it did not occur to me that I would make so many ( or any, really) fabulous friends and participate in the creation of e-books, blogging challenges, or write for other sites. It continues to amaze me at how my readership grows and how more and more beautiful souls enter my life! It also never occurred to me that Matt Mullenweg, WP’s founder would be born on the day I decide to publish my first post! Cosmic collisions and sensational synchs perpetually lead me to the next moment, leaving me awestruck and grateful for all of the blessings bestowed upon me.

I continue to strive to be authentic and share my truth on these pages. I sometimes worry if my emotional honesty has affected the dynamics here lately. I envision litebeing chronicles as a place for dialogue, meaningful commentary, and community. Please tell me what you enjoy most about visiting here and what types of posts are most compelling. How does the emotional tone of certain posts impact you?  I am very interested to hear how my readers respond to the dark that has appeared in more of my writing this past year. While I aim to write from the heart first and foremost, I do not want to alienate my readers by what some refer to as over sharing.

I plan to continue writing as guided and offering diverse content that reflects my values and passions, including reblogs of material by fellow writers that speak to my soul. The active process of public writing serves me in so many ways. Engaging in this community has helped me grow and evolve beyond what any words can  accurately gauge. The exposure to new ideas and concepts has proven so therapeutic and has seeded so many adventures.

One of the lessons I have learned this year is that loving oneself is a full-time job that requires spontaneity and endless tenacity. I have tried so many activities and ventures since I began blogging. Many were successful and even more were seemingly failures. I have taken a risk recently that I thought was the right thing to do out of love for myself. I accepted a job offer that I knew was not right for me because I needed to support myself. This decision was made in part out of respect for the millions of parents who toil day in and day out to support their families and keep their commitments. This worldview is very much in tune with my incredibly strong Saturn in Capricorn natal placement. While most of the events preceding and during  the early days of the job were jarring, I chose to attribute them to anxiety and the need to readjust to my schedule and responsibilities.  I can see clearly now that the signs and events that appeared were also there to warn me that I was moving further out of alignment. But I was stubborn and did not want to entertain the true complexity of the signs I was receiving. So eventually I had to leave the job to restore my internal balance.

In the meantime I would like to engage more with all of you through my astrological services, including a giveaway of one free reading. Not only will you be receiving uniquely, individualized information to help you grow and develop, you will be assisting me during a time of financial uncertainty. Please visit here to learn more about the 50 % off sale and giveaway happening right now.  Sharing my gifts with you over the years has truly been a privilege. Thanks to all who support my work by either reading a post, liking and commenting, reblogging my material, or purchasing a reading. All the love and support empowers me to become even better at bringing my gifts to new heights.

I do not know what the future holds, but believe that some version of it is already in motion. Blogging has brought more into my life that I can even begin to express. At times it has also saved my life by offering me a platform to be of service regardless of what else was playing out away from the computer and wi-fi signal. For those who read, yet do not like or comment, I value your time and interest and also encourage you to say hello. Let me know who you are and how you are doing either in the comments section or by email. We all benefit from eliciting the best from one another by genuine engagement and communication. In this 3 year, this will be especially meaningful and also necessary if we want to co – create a planet of lite.

namaste , litebeing

 

cake image courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain, all other images by litebeing chronicles ©

Hey 2019, Let’s Dive Right In!

I bought this lavender day planner not long ago. I typically get a smaller black one, but opted for this larger model in one of my favorite colors. Ironically, I have a planner and very few plans. But it symbolizes a blank slate, brimming with possibilities. Rather than contemplate or over-analyze, I prefer to dive right in.

While most of my readers know that I am not much of a structured holiday person, I often find value in some of the practices or activities, knowing they stem from a good place. If we want to pick an arbitrary point for the new year, tomorrow’s partial solar eclipse in Capricorn is an excellent choice.  A solar eclipse occurs on a new moon and eclipses are like lunations on steroids, so tomorrow 1-4-19 at 8:28 EST could behold a fresh start for many.

I would like to share some videos on my first post of the year that made quite an impression on me. They share some similarities. but have distinct points of view. But I will begin with some recent photos taken a few days ago at Longwood Gardens. It is noteworthy that I have yet to dedicate an entire essay to my time there, because it has often served as one of my power places. Even on more mundane visits, it is always breathtakingly beautiful and every moment is unique in its own right.









The first two videos are by thought leaders that need no introduction, Matt Kahn and Lee Harris. Matt is more badass and Lee is a bit more polite, but they both offer excellent, often prophetic content on the current metaphysical climate. This new Matt Kahn video is called We belong to the Light. Matt jokes that it is channeled from Pat Benatar. He does not reference which song, but I would say it is We Belong. It is one of my old school favorites. I googled the lyrics and the first line of the chorus is We belong to the light. Funny, I sang it as We belong to the night.

What I found especially significant in this teaching is Matt’s suggestion for how to handle “unusual events”. He advises against asking why something happens or looking for an accurate explanation. Instead, he instructs us to ask ourselves ” What do we need?” I really like this idea because it let’s us focus on how to take better care of ourselves instead of going off on some intellectual tangent. Matt is very much about self-care these days and finds many inventive strategies for flowing with life, rather than beating up ourselves or anyone/anything outside of ourselves ( as if there really is an outside?)

This next video is a real gem because it is a Live 1 hour segment. Unlike the monthly energy forecasts, this presentation goes into more detail and even features a Q&A section at the end! What I found most interesting here is Lee’s take on 2019 as the end of one 7 year cycle and the beginning of a new 7 year cycle. While 2019 in a 3 year in numerology, there are individual numerological cycles ( not to mention astrological cycles) all at play simultaneously. Lee delves into the 2012 phenomenon and how it led us to this point in time. I highly recommend you save this one and listen in small increments, as I often do with Matt’s videos. I often fall asleep if I watch for too much at one sitting!

This final selection is seemingly divergent from the two previous ones, but I would say only on the surface. Bandersnatch is the first movie version of Netflix’s highly popular, controversial Black Mirror series. One could say I am a reluctant fan of this very dark, mysterious Sci Fi series available on the Netflix streaming service. This piece is not only their first full feature film, but it is also interactive. You, the viewer get to make choices on how the story progresses. Without giving too much away, this interactive process lends itself to a story within a story framework that explores, fate vs destiny, parallel realities, and time travel. Why do I include it with the previous videos that do seem more light and optimistic? What all three have in common is that they are highly engaging and invite the viewer to get off the escalator and empower yourself.

I am more inclined to say that free will is not all that free at this juncture. And yet, I do think that making choices can lead to brighter outcomes. How we choose and why we choose is up to you! Check out all three if possible ( Netflix is not free so I included the trailer only) and let me know you reactions in the comments.

This image above is a smaller version of the header photo. I selected it as the header because it serves as a metaphor for 2019. It is fresh and new, multi-faceted, and interactive. It also brings the light and lets you decide where you end and where you begin. So either with or without plans or resolutions, take a deep breath and dive right in.

I wish you a very blessed 2019! 

 

Just one more thing ~  Keep your eyes glued to this site as I will be posting a big surprise very soon!

 

Until then, wishing you a healthy and transformative eclipse.

MICHELLE WALLING: “The False Matrix Mission Trick”

Not surprisingly, whatever we focus on multiplies. Here is a post on Soul Mission that resonates with me and my blog challenge rather strongly. I do not agree with all of it, nor is that required.  Michelle makes some strong points, especially about specialness and spiritual bypass.

In light, litebeing

Ascension Avatar

A popular false light tactic is to make you feel like you are a “chosen one”, with a mission that is above all else, including human relationships and love. Many people jump into healing, websites, and channeling without doing the inner work first, because a “guide” came to them with a message.

We are the ultimate creators, and when we are still operating and creating from lower vibrations EVERYTHING gets distorted. That is the nature of the reality of the matrix. Everything is backward and upside down, and the truth is that we created it that way. Now it is time to un-create. First we have to recognize what needs to be un-created, and in this case, it is distortion. Distorted healing methods, distorted guides and messengers, and most of all, distorted focus on your true mission.

You are here to BE LOVE IN A HUMAN BODY, which trumps all…

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Musings ~ Heaven Help the Fool, Valentine’s Day

Well I guess my Jupiter in Scorpio post about justice was prescient as today we learn that Bill Cosby was convicted on all three counts, with Mars conjunct Pluto in the sky. I have this configuration presently in my 12th house, cajoling me into reviewing past romances and encounters of the Plutonian type with men ( Mars).

So I am reblogging this post in order to heal the unhealed and make the unconscious conscious. Bob is a great representative here with Mars conjunct Pluto natally and transiting Pluto squaring his Libra sun. Take a look at this chart here:  He is such a Plutonian character. No wonder I became a Deadhead so early in life, lol! Also no wonder he befriended John Mayer and coined him the next generation of the Dead. John is a fellow Libra sun with Pluto conjunct Sun, Mercury, and North Node. Plus they are both born on October 16th! Now who still says Astrology is nonsense? 😉

Here’s to getting it right and honoring women everywhere.

litebeing chronicles

I didn’t write about Valentine’s Day last year. I don’t even know why I am attempting to post.  I checked my archives for last February and around mid February I wrote about synchronicity and Mortadella. So what does that tell you ?

I am typing here while listening to thunder-snow in the background. The weather is wacky and so is my mood.  I have lived such a long time and  have seen so many things. But what can I write about romantic love that doesn’t sound snarky and jaded? ( or already written?)

wikimedia free domainUS

or

Romeo_and_Juliet_(watercolour)_by_Ford_Maddox_Brown

?????

Maybe I am partially inspired by the tarot love reading I received from Deelia  at Soul Fields. She does not actively read for the public anymore, but gifted me with a gratitude reading in return for the intuitive reading I gave her. Why I asked her about love is really a fluke. It was a…

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Could You Be Loved?

Could YOU be loved? Why, of course!
Here is my Valentine to all my awesome readers.

PS Happy Solar Eclipse,
Love, Linda ❤

litebeing chronicles

Hello litebeings!

I don’t know about you, but I have been feeling very lethargic the past few days. It could be the extreme heat or something more. But in the car on my way to pick up shrimp and crab fried rice, Could You Be Loved? immediately came on the radio.  I knew right then what I would be posting on today. The teachings of Matt Kahn are intensely percolating in the coffee pot of my consciousness. It is time to pour a cup for me and you to sip and savor. Be warned, it may taste mellow, but this blend has quite a kick!

Photo644Matt has coined the name Love Revolution and I am processing how to apply this ideal to my life. While he seems to negate the teachings of ACIM and Eckhart Tolle, I will love him anyway. For one thing, I do not see any disconnect…

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Venus Stationing in Capricorn Conjunct Pluto – You and I

Here’s a Christmas treat from litebeing chronicles for you all to savor with some eggnog, hot cocoa, or whatever your heart desires. It is a “classic” post from 2014 about Venus, Saturn/ Cap and Pluto ( among other things). It seems to be quite fitting as Venus conjoins Saturn in Capricorn today. Venus will be catching up again with Pluto on 1/9/18.

While the events of 2014 don’t exactly mirror the present moment, there are a few themes that do ring true. As I contemplate the nature of love and being loved on this day of endless, eternal love, allow me to wish you more light and joy than ever before. <3<3<3

litebeing chronicles

Thank you for the overwhelmingly positive response to my Awakening post. Reading and responding to your comments was very emotionally moving for me. I was going to blog about Venus Retrograde much sooner, but thinking about and finally writing about my spiritual opening consumed all of my psychic energy. So I decided to post now in the wake of the Venus station , which is extremely close to Pluto. While you read this post, I invite you to ponder your experience with the Venus retrograde and current station with Pluto. I was going to title this post “Are We Having Fun Yet?”,  but decided to take a less cynical view. Please let me know if you indeed have been having fun, or perhaps shed a few tears over the past month. I really hope to hear from some of my male readers to get their unique perspectives on this fascinating…

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Goddess Sighting

Feeling the love or feeling the pinch?

I have been sitting on this post for some time now, waiting for an indication that I have received and integrated the significance of this Venus retrograde cycle. And yet I want to post before the cycle ends. So in the spirit of Libran compromise, I am writing midway into Venus’s backward motion through the signs of Aries and Pisces.

Here are the important dates:

Venus stationed retrograde on March 4th at 14 degrees Aries

Venus formed a conjunction with the Sun on March 25th

Venus re-enters Pisces on April 2nd

Venus stations direct on April 15th ( my mom’s birthday) at 26 degrees Pisces

Venus, the goddess of love, otherwise known as Aphrodite, is the ruler of both Libra and Taurus, so look to your 2nd and 7th houses in your natal chart, along with your Libra and Taurus placements ( in addition to your Venus placement), to get a sense of your Venus potential. For this cycle, look to where you have Aries and Pisces to track how Venus will affect your life at this time.

This go round has Venus re-activating my 2nd house of finances and values, with a brief re-appearance back in my 1st house of self.  Unexpected expenses have become overwhelming and clients are presenting with self-esteem issues, reflecting back to me my past inability to love myself before another.

all recent venus images wikipedia.org public domain

In my lifetime, this transit has been very powerful for my love life on two separate occasions. I went through a very fated and painful love affair in 1989 ( in my 12th house) that taught me much about being careful about what you wish for, because you might get it! I chose a charming, dangerously handsome Leo man and was more interested in “getting him” than learning about who really was behind the facade. Then in 2004 I met James when Venus was retrograding in my 4th house, conjoining my moon. This was about a mystical soul re-union. These transits are much more potent when significant angles and planets are involved. You will not be affected by all Venus retrogrades, nor will you even notice some of them. That’s how it goes.

While my expectations for this Venus cycle are low, the month beforehand was quite spectacular and unusual.

I typically do a short card reading ( tarot or other type of cards) with every lunation and significant astro-event.  For the Aquarius New Moon ( in 12th house) on 1-28-17 I used the Goddess Tarot and pulled the following cards:

 Recent past: King of Cups

 Present: Venus

 Near future: King of Staves

What is interesting is that I rarely get the Venus card when I read for myself. I found this to be noteworthy.  Since it was in my 12th house, I wondered if this may manifest as a connection with an old love. That did not happen, but what did occur was so much more exciting!

I awaken on the morning of 2-4-17 from an unusual dream. While sitting alone by a body of water I notice a tall woman with dark hair. She is quite striking and resembles a super – heroine.  She comes closer and I become frightened. She begins to attack me. Upon awakening, I notice her sitting on my bed. She is leaning over me and takes off her clothes. This makes me quite uncomfortable. Then she says ” I have a message for you. ” I ask her to tell me the message. I do not remember her answering me. Then I really wake up and wonder what just happened?

I meet that day with my Spiritual Director who is riveted by my experience. She tells me that the female I encountered was Venus and that the goddess of the air and sea typically appears naked! I was astounded to consider that I had a goddess sighting. This explains why I meet her by the water and why she took off her clothing.  She is convinced that I received a visitation and that Venus’s emergence could in fact be the message. This certainly gave me pause.

Certain songs came into my consciousness during this period. I used some of them with my clients to emphasize self-love. I have played many of them over and over to really embrace their essence and absorb the positive energy.

Please take a listen:

Video

Venus

I’m Every Woman

 

This final song really drives home the theme of this transit for me. Self-love is more than just respect and dignity towards one’s personality and body. It is about alignment and expression of the Divine that dwells within. If you listen very closely to the lyrics, the true meaning of this popular anthem will be revealed.

The Greatest Love of All

Please tell me about your Venus transit.

How has she appeared to you?

 

image credits ~ wikipedia.org, public domain

Be Your Best

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As the world around us continues to spiral in unpredictable directions, what is a lightworker to do?

The solution is simple: be your best. What does best mean? Do what you can at any given moment and love yourself through it all. Love yourself when you lose your temper, make a mistake, or think unkind thoughts. Love yourself as you send light to a stranger, practice acts of random kindness, or elicit a smile in another.

Living on Earth has never been easy according to recorded and anecdotal history. Incarnating into human form is quite the experiment and the times we are entering are challenging and often daunting. But miracles and blessings abound in every heart and at every pass.

I enjoy the show Nashville and this season is one of my favorites. The emphasis is on character driven plots and the music making process. Country and bluegrass tunes are loaded with emotion, particularly tenderness and pain. So much beauty is distilled, resonating deeply in my soul. You just have to listen intently and it is all laid out there.

This tune has followed me since I first heard it on the season premiere. The Stella sisters resemble my nieces and are around the same age. Their voices are full of hope and promise.  Maybe it will delight and motivate you to live with love and purpose. The younger generations are counting on us to be our best so that they can inherit a New Earth.