Today has been so very wild. Yesterday also was hairy for many who encountered nasty effects from storms. My area had actual hail. I did not spot any personally but saw some astonishing photos of huge rock like hail very close by. Then there was the Microsoft debacle. Today is the day both Mercury and Venus move forward Stage Left, if you will, leading us hopefully to course corrections. Hours ago, the FAA halted all air travel and I have to wonder if this is some wag the tail maneuver.
I was not personally left unscathed, with Maurice unfriending me, an ending , conflict with a friend, financial losses, and an ER meltdown, and other incidents that were unpleasant. I did see the return of an old friend that was quite unexpected and I will happily take that win. Otherwise I could have done without all of this. But who said we get a choice right? We don’t get one but we can decide our reactions. I dreaded last week for months and I survived it. i felt quite lonely and more rejected by blood family than is typical, but nothing terrible, I was spared from incredible sorrow and I am thankful. Lately I tend to feel numb or way too much. The K was rising earlier today. I still don’t know if that is communication from my twin or just an energy surge that I cannot explain, or both. There is no instruction manual available.
I am pleased to be making more connections between seemingly disparate life events. This has been fun. I met a woman online who is a local healer. She says her energy practice is linked with shamanism. I am curious about that. The SW medium I worked with last week shared a job resource with me and was optimistic about my bond with Maurice. She sees it as being quite important over timeline and different dimensions. I think of Aladdin and us traveling on a magic carpet. Part of me still thinks I made up this entire situation but when I do a deep dive examining my life, so much of what I have experienced is otherworldly. Often otherworldly and observed by others. My initial awakening at age 17 truly mimics Shamanic sickness. I promise you that term was not offered to me back then. In truth this Shaman story has been around for most of my life, mostly dormant but never completely absent. I shared on this blog about walking around the woods at my home in Connecticut as a child with an older boy talking about ancient societies and bartering. Who was that guy and why was I with him? This was not in dream time or drug induced. When I consider my long friendship with a Scorpio man ( that I ended last year) it is not lost on me his fascination with psychedelics including Ketamine. I have a knack for hanging out with people, usually guys, who are all about tripping. Even guys me current age. For many the spiritual component was the goal. This lines up with mysticism and shamanism yet again. Which links up to three readings I have had since 2012.
If I flash forward to 2020 I think about my girl crush ( jokingly ) on this trainer I met at Bryn Mawr, She was a Gestalt therapist and presented information is such a radical but compelling way. I was so drawn to her. I saw her again just a few weeks ago and learned so much more. She is involved with ancestor work and Shamanic work through Ayahuasca healing in Peru. I listened to her today on a Podcast discussing how this substance can heal Ancestral Patterns. She discussed her issues with men and how this plant medicine allowed her to clear patterns and attract a healthy partner. I was alarmed and excited to hear the parallels between us. We both worried about feeling trapped by a marriage and harbored plenty of negativity about men. We also had no positive role models for healthy romantic dynamics. She described meeting her future partner and how it involved sharing a similar frequency. It was quite amazing to take in this information. I often wonder if Spirit is delivering all this to me or if my brain is just focusing on anything that speaks to my desires. I recently heard that the reason Twin Flames get all these synchs is because post activation the brain is being recalibrated and is tuning into all twin related stimuli. Maybe? Most of this is way above my paygrade. Did I mention that my Facebook feed is all Twin Flame heavy now? I never searched for anything on this topic. I suspect that YouTube topics have informed the FB algorithm. This is soooo creepy.
Today I went on my channel of choice and a new Maurice video was front and center. I have unfollowed his channel months ago so it is odd he still pops up. Do I pop up for him? No idea. I allowed myself to watch it because it was very short. I noticed that I was covering my body with my arms while viewing. It feels like my body is craving the energy and I attempt to protect myself. A main reason I have for sharing all these details is because I often feel crazy. I am not crazy but my senses are so revved up by him. I wonder if I have the same effect.
In any case we are getting closer to the time when I will be investing in separation from Rick. Maurice, and the entire crew. I think it is the only way through. Maurice wrote this caption that the November Delivery is coming. I tend to read way too much into his comments. I figure he must know what he means by his words but I am not holding my breath. Part of me misses when I was the center of attention, Like when he was so excited about my compliments and felt the need to share them without anything to plug. I never ever saw him just fake a reason to quote a strangers words on his page. It screamed to me ” Look who likes me! ” but of course I am biased. As they say, you can’t have your cake and eat it too and I am glad he is not broadcasting my words online anymore. The last time was a YouTube video entitled Full Moon Fever, the Climax of our Times. WTF did he mean by that? My words were at the end, aka the Climax. Part of me wants to be wanted because I get nothing back anymore. This is why I truly need to move on. I hope I can make this happen. They should have rehabs for Female Twin Flames to go to for detox and support. Maybe one day…
I also learned of a Star Seed Twin Flame hybrid and I answered yes to all but one of the characteristics. One was if you and your twin love the stars or Astrology. I could not make this stuff up. This is why I get confused and overwhelmed at times. But change is afoot for all of us.
Enjoy your weekend!
All images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain Enjoy these videos all about love :
