My inspiration for the Time Machine Challenge started on a crisp and brilliant afternoon in September. If you are new to my blog or would like to catch up on your reading, please visit here to find the entire roster of spectacular challenge blogs. Reminiscing about my first September in Philly and the man who represented that era took me back to a state of excitement and joy. I was amazed how my instantaneous flash of insight was later validated when I visited a website where that former boyfriend currently works. According to Michael Lutin, this time period before the New Scorpio Moon accentuates preoccupation and/or random encounters with past lovers or folks who trigger memories of former flames.
A few connections from Leigh and Laura gently guided me on a path of forgiveness and acceptance of the past. Leigh’s post
Howdy litebeings! It has been awhile, I know. But I have been busy. I will post on this later, because there is another matter that has been simmering. It has reached the proper temperature and is ready to serve.
I typically pull a card or two with every lunation. The new moon in Gemini was an important one for me as it was close to my own moon. I was very excited to draw the Queen of Swords. I can really relate to her energy.
Have you been direct and honest in your dealings lately? Are you quick to understand the way things are done in any new environment? Have you been there and done that? Are you happy to share your expertise but still excited to learn the new ways of doing things? The Queen of Swords is a pleasant card in the way it reveals that you have plenty of experience from which to draw, but are genuinely interested in always learning more. When this card appears in your Tarot reading, the worst that someone could say about you is that you are a bit jaded. But the positive possibilities are overwhelming in a card that tells it like it is with kindness and self-assurance.
What the queen sees, has seen and understands is vast beyond what those on the outside can comprehend. Nobody can know all of your experiences, and how you put them together to form a world-view speaks of your intellect and emotional maturity. The butterfly is a metaphor for having risen out of a cocoon to soar to heights previously unimagined and to look quite beautiful in all your freedom to explore the world from a variety of perspectives. Swords are the Tarot deck’s suit that signifies ideas and communication. The Queen of Swords is cerebral and intuitive, and exercises good judgment based on a wealth of experience and intellect: the epitome of wisdom manifest.
The same day that I pulled the Queen of Swords, I took an impromptu drive out in the country. I asked Spirit to give me some messages via the car radio. Not much was happening as I made my way past the farmland and wooded areas. As I headed towards the end of my trip, an old song came on that made quite an impact on me. I began to sing it loudly with confidence and a knowingness that it resonates strongly with my life so far. I could feel it in my bones.
The song was I am Woman by Helen Reddy. I grew up with the building momentum of the woman’s movement and really thought equality was around the corner. I was not raised to be a feminist, but nevertheless I expected to be treated equally and with dignity. I honestly couldn’t grasp why gender equality was not a foregone conclusion and I still feel this way!
In the video Helen Reddy mentions that 1975 was declared the International Year of the Woman by the United Nations. I wonder if 2016 will also be called the Year of the Woman? I am thinking of how Hillary Clinton’s role as the first Democratic nominee for President of the United States is bridging the gap between the 1960s and 1970s and the present. It is also a sign that we may finally be catching up with so many other countries such as Brazil, India, Israel, Germany, etc., that have had female leaders for decades.
These particular lyrics really hit me to my core:
Oh yes, I am wise But it’s wisdom born of pain Yes, I’ve paid the price But look how much I gained If I have to, I can do anything
When I look back on my life, particularly the last couple years, I see how much I had to endure and how these experiences changed me. Like the Queen of Swords, I have much wisdom to draw from, and yet; I am eager to learn more.
I feel that the Gemini new moon and the events that have followed were a harbinger of bringing a balance to power with the symbol of a strong,wise, seasoned, resilient, sometimes cynical Scorpio woman. This could be me, but I am talking about Hillary. She is far from perfect and not my first choice, but I admire her tenacity, intelligence, and dedication to service. She has known public humiliation and scandal. Yet she has survived and lived to tell the tale.
My moon is in my 4th house so it is at home in my natal chart. The world of intuition, mystery and beginnings and endings is its domain. Women who honor the moon in their lives are coming into their authentic power. The way of the soul is not weak or passive. It is natural and reveals one’s direction and destiny.
I could be grocery shopping right now. But I am here with AC blazing on a Friday afternoon. We are having a heat wave and this new development took me by surprise. Everyone has been talking about the intense Mercury Neptune energy. Honestly for me it is like a regular day at the office ( when I actually went to an office.) Translation: I have Neptune Sun Mercury conjunct in Scorpio ( a stellium) so my mind naturally rides the waves of hyper-imagination, empathy, fantasy, and susceptibility to deception or illusion.
Having said that, I still am taking life slowly and simply for a few more days, focusing more on the inner journey and escapism entertainment. I am really enjoying this new Fox show Wayward Pines. I will not give away the plot twist but will say how wonderful it is to see Matt Dillon back on-screen and find a television series that seems original and captivating. Blending the familiar ( Matt Dillon) with the unfamiliar ( new mystery series) seems to be on today’s menu.
Which brings me to my update:
My health has been more stable the past few days. I continue to incorporate a greater variety of foods into my diet with caution and mild optimism. It has been over 2 months since my attack and I take comfort in this fact. While I still experience pain and discomfort, I believe that the passage of time without an episode indicates healing. I have begun to break out in pimples, which seems strange at first glance. My intuition tells me they are signs of toxins leaving my system.
My meditation practice is slowly coming back. I attended a soundbath on Sunday and it was lovely to hear the vibrations dance within the room and throughout my being. The healing helped activate my ability to go within for longer periods of time. Listening to my boy Matt Kahn has also served to relax me. He often refers to visits to the grocery store and these anecdotes really bring his message down to earth for me. As an empath, I often feel discombobulated in large stores filled with so much noise and activity. Listening to his escapades inspires me to be kinder to myself and others, wherever I go.
I finally put my Meetup to bed today. After switching the format and trying different ways to engage people, I decided to let the group fade away. I feel both relieved and excited. Relief in knowing I can channel my energy elsewhere and excited because another Meetup group invited me to join them as a group leader. While I often seem to succeed by operating independently, it was not happening with the Meetup. I do still hold a vision for a local sanctuary for the like-minded to come together and grow collectively. My contribution to this activity may still happen, but in a different form than I expected. I continue to latch onto the notion that failure is not a dirty word, but simply an attempt to try something new. Celebrating the attempt for its own sake is rather new for me. In Mental Health Recovery, celebration of any step forward in the client’s journey was the foundation of sound practice. Applying this principle in my own life seems awkward and forced. But I am working on it.
Why do I feel more at home in “the future” than in the NOW?
Is confusion the new normal?
Can watching Wayward Pines, Tomorrowland and 12 Monkeys account for my experience of malleable time or is it the other way around?
Why doesn’t WordPress announce its new features like live chat or statistics insights?
Am I becoming more comfortable with mystery in general?
I am in love with this video. It is a rap ascension video. Yes, you read this right! It is like no-thing I have ever heard. It latched onto my heart and my soul grinned in agreement. Then he mentioned being a Scorpio!
I am a Scorpio type, through and through. Pluto is the modern planet that rules Scorpio and regardless of recent events, Pluto remains a full-fledged planet. Pluto represents transformation. This involves excavation of the soul. The sprinkling of fairy dust and a few affirmations will not do! This is getting into the trenches and battling for the light.
I have a metaphor in mind that hits somewhat close to home. It reflects poorly on my domestic skills but I decided it was worth sharing. My cat Dexter keeps growing and growing but my living space has appeared to shrink ( due to years of accumulating books, stuff, more books, other stuff, books, etc. ) My tiny bathroom is where I keep the litter box. His litter box was small because of the space and he seemed to be fine with it. I also will confess that I could clean it out more often. Dexter has a new prescription diet because of serious health issues. This has changed his litter box habits and let us say product. I began to notice that his litter box became a box of sludge! I spoke to the vet and he was not concerned. Dexter is thriving with the new diet and I am grateful. But cleaning the sludge has been quite cathartic for me.
Sometimes this image has entered my dream life and it has caused me to reflect. I have concluded that the more I grow and take risks and follow my path, the more shadows appear. My negative thoughts become more obvious and destructive. People from my past appear in different states of consciousness, such as dream states, parallel realms, Facebook, and ” regular ” waking life! Physical symptoms appear in more bizarre forms. Like an onion, there are infinite layers to my psyche and my evolution. I have been buying onions recently and enjoyed chopping them and adding them to many dishes. I am making this connection as I type this sentence – love when that happens.
This may seem paradoxical but it is not the case. As I have told many clients, when we do the inner work, life often gets harder than before. I see this very clearly as I continue to excavate. Fortunately the shadows are accompanied by miracles in the form of insights, creativity, love, friendship, and grace. And on it goes …..
I have since bought Dexter a huge litter box and I was still able to keep it in the bathroom. There seems to be less sludge. I am working on other ways to clear out my sludge. Does this mean that I am ascending spiritually? I wish I knew. I can say with confidence that there are rewards for living in the moment, prayer, meditation, dream work, discarding what is no longer useful, and grieving what appears to be lost. Spirals also comes to mind when I ponder clearing and renewal. There is no linear and there is no there.
As a final note: The band U2 released an album All That You Can’t Leave Behind in 2001. When I first heard the song Stuck in a Moment while watching the video, I thought the song was created to promote healing for a national tragedy. Turns out it was written long before then, but released about the same time as the tragedy. Coincidence ?? It came to me while I was contemplating today’s challenge. Please listen to it carefully and see if you agree that it is perfectly suited for clearing and healing.