Venus and Uranus Retrograde: Thunder Island

wikipedia.org pub domain

UPDATE:  Here is a re-post about Venus retrograde in Leo and Uranus retrograde in Aries. While the signs and aspects are different from the present astrological weather,  this content can still resonate in anticipation of tomorrow’s Venus ingress into Scorpio opposing Uranus retrograde in Taurus.  Venus will also be retrograding  on October 5th.  This will tide you over until I share a new take on the goddess of love , justice, and values. Stay tuned and love yourself and others until then. 🙂     PS, also happy New Virgo Moon!

Change IS in the air..

To quote my hero Anthony Bourdain, ” Welcome to my world!” Venus went retrograde this morning at 5:28 am EDT . Uranus is on her heels, retracing his steps 25 hours  later at 6:38 am EDT. On some level I feel afraid to leave my house. But hey, I feel that way a lot anyway !

Venus retrograde is a topic I have blogged about before because it’s an important cycle. I feel it very strongly, which is odd because my Venus is direct and remains that way even when progressed. It could be because so many of my ex partners come back to visit me either consciously or on other planes of existence. It could also be that Venus is the ruler of my  8th house of death and rebirth. In any case, when Venus appears to move backwards, memories and emotions about old flames come alive. With Uranus following a similar path, it appears that where love goes, lightening will strike.

Venus Uranus aspects or transits often produce the love at first sight effect. Just one glance and you never know what hit you. Have any of you been there? Great music, poetry, and films have been inspired by such a phenomenon. Often what may appear to be love is simply a powerful attraction of the electric variety. With Venus spending most of this cycle in Leo and Uranus respectively in Aries, we are talking fireworks! But do not do anything stupid unless you are willing to live with the fallout. These fireworks are quite exciting but very temporary and erratic. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

This is not the time to go out and meet someone new or spend lots of money on Venusian goods like jewelry and clothing. This can be an excellent time to unravel any leftover issues with former partners and whatever else that’s preventing you from moving on and making changes in your life. When a planet retrogrades, it is less about the external and all about the internal. In actuality, life typically operates this way anyway, but we often forget and look to whatever appears outside of us to validate our worth. If you still prefer externalization to build up your self-esteem, now is a wonderful time to modify your thoughts and behavior. Inner change is easier with Uranus retrograde so assess what needs to be upgraded. Don’t delete any files yet or install new software. Rather, review what may be corrupted or incompatible with the best version of you.

Look to where Leo and Aries are in your natal chart to get more insight into how these transits can be best used to your advantage. My 2nd and 7th houses are affected so I can expect some activity with abundance and partnerships. Since it seems like I have Venus retro natally, I do not expect to be that surprised. While the players may be different, the emotions that get triggered are all too familiar. I have noticed this quite often and this awareness has confirmed for me that I was correct in ending some friendships and romantic bonds.

When I think about love and loss in particular, I rarely miss a beat. Whatever I dread will happen once I love again typically does comes to fruition. Or at least that has been my pattern.  For example, after raising my cat Jasmine from a kitten to age 16, letting her go was excruciating. I never forgot the intensity of that loss. When I adopted Dexter, I said I would not love him like I loved Jasmine. It turns out this was true, but not the way I meant it. My love for Dexter was so much bigger, building on the love for Jasmine, but it did not eclipse that initial love. The loss of Dexter reminds me why I was so skeptical about getting another cat. I did not want to grieve again. It is a wicked catch 22 and the only way out is through.

My experience with my pets helped me see why I subconsciously decided to shut down my desire for romantic love. The pain and sadness were not worth the investment. Sometimes a break between involvements leaves me believing a new relationship would not cause the same suffering. But often my reasons for letting a relationship dissolve would re-emerge with someone new. Faulty soul contracts or inability to manifest better outcomes? I have no clue.

Matt Kahn repeatedly says that emotions even out when one begins to ascend. Perhaps this is why I am dealing better with Dexter’s passing than previous losses. The fact that I am pretty together after having lost what I loved most on the planet is astonishing. It is really a miracle that I am not curled up in the fetal position on the floor. Maybe I am evolving and/or the love of my community is holding a space for my healing. I do feel grateful that I am surviving this tragic sudden loss. While it does not seem fair, I realize that we do not get to control the lifespan of another.

While I am curious to see what shows up with these transits, I know that it is all about how I treat myself and raise my vibration. Sometimes the love we receive in relationship builds up in the soul and becomes a resource for future alliances. We shall see. I am grateful that I know myself better than ever and that I have become a more adaptable person. I really have no choice but to grow and adapt.

Thunder Island is an old song that once held special meaning for me. Frankly I forgot all about it until I heard it on the radio a few days ago. It is about a couple braving a summer storm on an island. It was popular during the time my family spent a month or so every August down the Jersey shore. One summer in particular a major hurricane was predicted to hit our beach during our vacation. While I recall our anguish over whether to ride out the storm or not, I do not remember if we went home and returned later, or took a risk and stayed.

What is important is the way I felt hearing the song again and reminiscing about my love interests down the shore. Thunder Island is a perfect metaphor in light of the Venus Uranus retrograde. It is often a place in my heart where unexpected openings wax and wane like the waves along any shore. During these tumultuous times it’s important to learn how to surf one’s inner emotional waves in order to arrive both safe and renewed on solid ground.

scorpio image courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

My Best Friend For Life

litebeing chronicles 2013

UPDATE 2018: It will be three years since Dexter passed on July 12th, 5 days from now. While I occasionally consider adopting again, I always find reasons to decline. My finances are unstable, or my health is unstable, or I want to travel, etc. The real truth is I am not ready yet. Like so many things, I won’t know until I know.

I spent some time around many cats while at a BBQ for the 4th of July. I clearly enjoyed their company and it appeared the feeling was mutual. For now, I will savor the time I have around felines however they find me. I continue to relish the love Dexter brought to me. He was a heart chakra activator extraordinaire.

Enjoy this post from 2015 ( below the 2016 update).

 

UPDATE 2016: July 12th will mark the one year anniversary of Dexter’s passing. Tomorrow will be more poignant for me because he passed on a Sunday. I am beginning to receive signs, some of which are rather bold, that is time to seriously explore adopting a new cat. While I will consider this guidance carefully, a part of me is still not quite ready. Dexter made me better, and I do not know if another soul can bring out the best that is left inside my soul.

Here is an old post written a week after Dex’s passing. It is heartfelt and chock full of excellent resources. Please send me some light tomorrow and show your loved ones how much they mean to you. It is everything.

Photo896

It has been incredibly challenging to simply survive this week. One week ago today, my beloved Dexter transitioned to another realm. So far this is a realm I cannot reach. I sincerely thank everyone here for their love and support. My longtime readers know that this year has not been an easy one. Your unwavering loyalty is priceless.

While writing is both my joy and my solace, words have not come easily to me lately. My pain is too great and my motivation too meager. Yet I do have a message to convey and I will attempt to do so to the best of my ability.

The week that Dexter died was a very busy one. While I know the word busy is relative, for me the increase in activity was substantial. Tuesday was the dentist, Wednesday and Thursday Caryn visited me, and Friday I took my car to the shop. Saturday, my last full day with Dexter was a blur, except for posting about master/students late at night. Sunday, of course, was my own private circle of hell. I wish I could remember more of my final day at home with Dexter, but I don’t. Unfortunately the details of last Sunday seem to be on a rotating loop inside my heart.

But I want to go back to earlier in the week to share some resources that have helped me and may help others who “stumble” upon my blog. Caryn and I have not been together in Philly since the 1990s. We did hang out last fall in NY after reconnecting on FB. I plan to blog about what brought me to NY, but that draft is not ready for completion. Caryn and I were so so busy: special Impressionist exhibition at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, movie night at an old lovely theater, 2 incredible meals ( one was Indian since we both adore it!) and a mini road trip to Longwood Gardens. Our 2 days were go go go and rather frenetic. The weather was horrible both days and my patience often wore thin. Yet grace did surround us in many ways: a deer crossing on a road where this “never” happens; a “random” encounter with a waiter that was filled with synchronicity, a gratis fruit platter that was a work of art in itself and discounts off our bill; and  the sheer joy of watching Caryn frolicking at Longwood for the very first time. The waterlilies  I am sharing were a highlight of this particular visit for me. They were not in bloom during my last two trips.

Photo897 (1)

Another source of peace was Matt Kahn. On Wednesday Caryn and I spoke about relationships and the nature of connections. That very evening I come home to notice a brand new video by Matt on soul mates and twin flames. In it he mentions, among many other things, that for some a soul mate may be their pet. This idea prompted me to refer to Dexter as my soul mate on my latest post. Matt refers to a soul mate as a balancing counterpart with little drama or intensity, but great love. While I do not agree with every point made, I find Matt’s take on the different type of soul connections to be fascinating and quite revelatory. This information is especially relevant in regards to next week’s Venus retrograde event.  I offer his video here:

 

Now I want to share some resources that have softened the loss by providing a rare understanding of my bond with my cats ( and most animals and inhabitants of the natural world) and some insight into the grieving process.

They are both courtesy of  Caryn and Karin, “the Carings” in my life. Caryn provided me with this link that really spoke to me. I am very picky about these grief expert offerings, perhaps because I provide these services in my work, or because I am quite discerning. In any case, this article was profoundly insightful. For those who may not understand the connection between human and animal, please take a look and your impressions may shift.

http://www.anaflora.com/grieving/beloved/beloved.html

I especially like both these passages:

The love of an animal permits us to unfold, to open up, drop our defenses and to be naked, not only physically but psychologically and spiritually as well. With an animal we let ourselves be seen instead of hiding behind our personalities, our cultures, our jobs, our clothing or our makeup. They know us as no one else does, in our private joys, angry rages, deepest despair, in sickness and in health. All the while their calm steady presence companions us with an unwavering love like few others on this earth. Our animal companions see through us to the very soul of our soul, encouraging the unfolding of a sacred trust. If there is such a thing as a soul mate, then surely this is it.

Many people have never been blessed with, or felt for themselves, the true love of an animal. They are incapable of understanding that your love for an animal may surpass your love for the humans that are the closest to you. It is a different bond, in a way, more profound; something only the heart understands. What I have learned over the years, as a student of grief and a student of many spiritual traditions, is that no guru, guide, master or friend no matter how enlightened can comfort the heart that believes it has lost what it holds most dear. Whether grieving ourselves, or consoling a grieving friend, often the most useful thing we can do is to simply tell our story. For in the story of our own journey through the gates of grief, or in bearing witness to the grief of another, we can at least legitimize the experience and make it “Sacred.”

Karin turned me on to this excellent video with medium Danielle MacKinnon that was posted just a few days ago. While I do hold some skepticism regarding animal communicators, Danielle is someone who naturally conveys authenticity and warmth. Please check it out if you are called to explore this topic further. What really struck me most was the question posed near the end of the interview.:

 Animals choose to pass at a particular time.  Ask yourself : What was it about this time that has meaning for you?

Here is the link for the video: https://wingingwithwhitehawk.wordpress.com/2015/07/16/pets-in-the-afterlife/

Finally I want to share some closing thoughts. It is so ironic that I have been so successful as a grief counselor. So very many clients over the years suffered unimaginable trauma and loss. I seem to be rather effective at facilitating healing for those in pain and was quite driven to focus on this area of therapy. Personally though, I suck at loss and death. I do not judge how I grieve, so please do not misconstrue my meaning. I just do not like to let go. I do not detach easily, especially if the bond was deep. Losing my first cat brought me to the brink of depression from which I doubted I would ever recover. Yet I did recover and I will recover from this loss. But this journey has just begun…

Let me conclude with a song that helps express the enormity of my love for Dexter. When I call him my best friend and soul mate, I am not exaggerating. It does not mean I do not love or have not loved other human beings deeply.

Dexter

It’s just different.


For a tribute to Dexter circa 2013ish, please visit OM’s site here.

Goddess Sighting

Feeling the love or feeling the pinch?

I have been sitting on this post for some time now, waiting for an indication that I have received and integrated the significance of this Venus retrograde cycle. And yet I want to post before the cycle ends. So in the spirit of Libran compromise, I am writing midway into Venus’s backward motion through the signs of Aries and Pisces.

Here are the important dates:

Venus stationed retrograde on March 4th at 14 degrees Aries

Venus formed a conjunction with the Sun on March 25th

Venus re-enters Pisces on April 2nd

Venus stations direct on April 15th ( my mom’s birthday) at 26 degrees Pisces

Venus, the goddess of love, otherwise known as Aphrodite, is the ruler of both Libra and Taurus, so look to your 2nd and 7th houses in your natal chart, along with your Libra and Taurus placements ( in addition to your Venus placement), to get a sense of your Venus potential. For this cycle, look to where you have Aries and Pisces to track how Venus will affect your life at this time.

This go round has Venus re-activating my 2nd house of finances and values, with a brief re-appearance back in my 1st house of self.  Unexpected expenses have become overwhelming and clients are presenting with self-esteem issues, reflecting back to me my past inability to love myself before another.

all recent venus images wikipedia.org public domain

In my lifetime, this transit has been very powerful for my love life on two separate occasions. I went through a very fated and painful love affair in 1989 ( in my 12th house) that taught me much about being careful about what you wish for, because you might get it! I chose a charming, dangerously handsome Leo man and was more interested in “getting him” than learning about who really was behind the facade. Then in 2004 I met James when Venus was retrograding in my 4th house, conjoining my moon. This was about a mystical soul re-union. These transits are much more potent when significant angles and planets are involved. You will not be affected by all Venus retrogrades, nor will you even notice some of them. That’s how it goes.

While my expectations for this Venus cycle are low, the month beforehand was quite spectacular and unusual.

I typically do a short card reading ( tarot or other type of cards) with every lunation and significant astro-event.  For the Aquarius New Moon ( in 12th house) on 1-28-17 I used the Goddess Tarot and pulled the following cards:

 Recent past: King of Cups

 Present: Venus

 Near future: King of Staves

What is interesting is that I rarely get the Venus card when I read for myself. I found this to be noteworthy.  Since it was in my 12th house, I wondered if this may manifest as a connection with an old love. That did not happen, but what did occur was so much more exciting!

I awaken on the morning of 2-4-17 from an unusual dream. While sitting alone by a body of water I notice a tall woman with dark hair. She is quite striking and resembles a super – heroine.  She comes closer and I become frightened. She begins to attack me. Upon awakening, I notice her sitting on my bed. She is leaning over me and takes off her clothes. This makes me quite uncomfortable. Then she says ” I have a message for you. ” I ask her to tell me the message. I do not remember her answering me. Then I really wake up and wonder what just happened?

I meet that day with my Spiritual Director who is riveted by my experience. She tells me that the female I encountered was Venus and that the goddess of the air and sea typically appears naked! I was astounded to consider that I had a goddess sighting. This explains why I meet her by the water and why she took off her clothing.  She is convinced that I received a visitation and that Venus’s emergence could in fact be the message. This certainly gave me pause.

Certain songs came into my consciousness during this period. I used some of them with my clients to emphasize self-love. I have played many of them over and over to really embrace their essence and absorb the positive energy.

Please take a listen:

Video

Venus

I’m Every Woman

 

This final song really drives home the theme of this transit for me. Self-love is more than just respect and dignity towards one’s personality and body. It is about alignment and expression of the Divine that dwells within. If you listen very closely to the lyrics, the true meaning of this popular anthem will be revealed.

The Greatest Love of All

Please tell me about your Venus transit.

How has she appeared to you?

 

image credits ~ wikipedia.org, public domain

My Best Friend For Life

July 12th will mark the one year anniversary of Dexter’s passing. Tomorrow will be more poignant for me because he passed on a Sunday. I am beginning to receive signs, some of which are rather bold, that is time to seriously explore adopting a new cat. While I will consider this guidance carefully, a part of me is still not quite ready. Dexter made me better, and I do not know if another soul can bring out the best that is left inside my soul.

Here is an old post written a week after Dex’s passing. It is heartfelt and chock full of excellent resources. Please send me some light tomorrow and show your loved ones how much they mean to you. It is everything.

Photo896

It has been incredibly challenging to simply survive this week. One week ago today, my beloved Dexter transitioned to another realm. So far this is a realm I cannot reach. I sincerely thank everyone here for their love and support. My longtime readers know that this year has not been an easy one. Your unwavering loyalty is priceless.

While writing is both my joy and my solace, words have not come easily to me lately. My pain is too great and my motivation too meager. Yet I do have a message to convey and I will attempt to do so to the best of my ability.

The week that Dexter died was a very busy one. While I know the word busy is relative, for me the increase in activity was substantial. Tuesday was the dentist, Wednesday and Thursday Caryn visited me, and Friday I took my car to the shop. Saturday, my last full day with Dexter was a blur, except for posting about master/students late at night. Sunday, of course, was my own private circle of hell. I wish I could remember more of my final day at home with Dexter, but I don’t. Unfortunately the details of last Sunday seem to be on a rotating loop inside my heart.

But I want to go back to earlier in the week to share some resources that have helped me and may help others who “stumble” upon my blog. Caryn and I have not been together in Philly since the 1990s. We did hang out last fall in NY after reconnecting on FB. I plan to blog about what brought me to NY, but that draft is not ready for completion. Caryn and I were so so busy: special Impressionist exhibition at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, movie night at an old lovely theater, 2 incredible meals ( one was Indian since we both adore it!) and a mini road trip to Longwood Gardens. Our 2 days were go go go and rather frenetic. The weather was horrible both days and my patience often wore thin. Yet grace did surround us in many ways: a deer crossing on a road where this “never” happens; a “random” encounter with a waiter that was filled with synchronicity, a gratis fruit platter that was a work of art in itself and discounts off our bill; and  the sheer joy of watching Caryn frolicking at Longwood for the very first time. The waterlilies  I am sharing were a highlight of this particular visit for me. They were not in bloom during my last two trips.

Photo897 (1)

Another source of peace was Matt Kahn. On Wednesday Caryn and I spoke about relationships and the nature of connections. That very evening I come home to notice a brand new video by Matt on soul mates and twin flames. In it he mentions, among many other things, that for some a soul mate may be their pet. This idea prompted me to refer to Dexter as my soul mate on my latest post. Matt refers to a soul mate as a balancing counterpart with little drama or intensity, but great love. While I do not agree with every point made, I find Matt’s take on the different type of soul connections to be fascinating and quite revelatory. This information is especially relevant in regards to next week’s Venus retrograde event.  I offer his video here:

 

Now I want to share some resources that have softened the loss by providing a rare understanding of my bond with my cats ( and most animals and inhabitants of the natural world) and some insight into the grieving process.

They are both courtesy of  Caryn and Karin, “the Carings” in my life. Caryn provided me with this link that really spoke to me. I am very picky about these grief expert offerings, perhaps because I provide these services in my work, or because I am quite discerning. In any case, this article was profoundly insightful. For those who may not understand the connection between human and animal, please take a look and your impressions may shift.

http://www.anaflora.com/grieving/beloved/beloved.html

I especially like both these passages:

The love of an animal permits us to unfold, to open up, drop our defenses and to be naked, not only physically but psychologically and spiritually as well. With an animal we let ourselves be seen instead of hiding behind our personalities, our cultures, our jobs, our clothing or our makeup. They know us as no one else does, in our private joys, angry rages, deepest despair, in sickness and in health. All the while their calm steady presence companions us with an unwavering love like few others on this earth. Our animal companions see through us to the very soul of our soul, encouraging the unfolding of a sacred trust. If there is such a thing as a soul mate, then surely this is it.

Many people have never been blessed with, or felt for themselves, the true love of an animal. They are incapable of understanding that your love for an animal may surpass your love for the humans that are the closest to you. It is a different bond, in a way, more profound; something only the heart understands. What I have learned over the years, as a student of grief and a student of many spiritual traditions, is that no guru, guide, master or friend no matter how enlightened can comfort the heart that believes it has lost what it holds most dear. Whether grieving ourselves, or consoling a grieving friend, often the most useful thing we can do is to simply tell our story. For in the story of our own journey through the gates of grief, or in bearing witness to the grief of another, we can at least legitimize the experience and make it “Sacred.”

Karin turned me on to this excellent video with medium Danielle MacKinnon that was posted just a few days ago. While I do hold some skepticism regarding animal communicators, Danielle is someone who naturally conveys authenticity and warmth. Please check it out if you are called to explore this topic further. What really struck me most was the question posed near the end of the interview.:

 Animals choose to pass at a particular time.  Ask yourself : What was it about this time that has meaning for you?

Here is the link for the video: https://wingingwithwhitehawk.wordpress.com/2015/07/16/pets-in-the-afterlife/

Finally I want to share some closing thoughts. It is so ironic that I have been so successful as a grief counselor. So very many clients over the years suffered unimaginable trauma and loss. I seem to be rather effective at facilitating healing for those in pain and was quite driven to focus on this area of therapy. Personally though, I suck at loss and death. I do not judge how I grieve, so please do not misconstrue my meaning. I just do not like to let go. I do not detach easily, especially if the bond was deep. Losing my first cat brought me to the brink of depression from which I doubted I would ever recover. Yet I did recover and I will recover from this loss. But this journey has just begun…

Let me conclude with a song that helps express the enormity of my love for Dexter. When I call him my best friend and soul mate, I am not exaggerating. It does not mean I do not love or have not loved other human beings deeply.

Dexter

It’s just different.


For a tribute to Dexter circa 2013ish, please visit OM’s site here.

The Lament of Venus and Other Tales

the-birth-of-venus-1912-2

Happy Saturday ( or Sunday) Litebeings!

I have been busy lately, constructing tales and allowing my musings to brew behind the scenes. Here are a few that are ready for consumption:

The Management Team 

Longtime readers know my frequent 11 sightings, typically arranged as 111 and 1111. Rarely does a day go by where I am not visited by numero uno in all its singular glory. I have been hoping to expand my repertoire by adding some new sequences to the mix. I am happy to report that 333 is becoming a regular fixture in my consciousness. I have been waking up at 333 am for several days in a row and also notice 333 pm with increasing frequency.

I recall doing some research on this sequence a while back when I had reached 333 followers. After a careful review, it is exciting to see how this new development will reveal itself. I know that the ascended masters are supposed to be close by during a triple 3 encounter. Does that mean that Jesus. Mary and Moses could be members of my management team? I have been seeking the identities of my guides for some time now. I have been patient with the process and have explored different techniques. I have made some headway with my power animals but they do not give me messages. They just show up and provide a safe haven. I am wondering if perhaps the 333 phenomenon is a hint that my team includes an ascended master or two. I honestly don’t know..

the-birth-of-venus

Which brings me to the next segment ~

Understanding is overrated

I watched the latest Matt Kahn video and it really was a head-scratcher. I did not like the central teachering and my confusion and resistance bothered me. I usually will listen to the video intently and let the energy wash over me. With Matt, the energetic transmission trumps the content. And yet…

all birth of venus by Odilon Redon via wikiart.org pub domainThis latest teaching emphasizes the freedom in letting go of the need to understand. He suggests that understanding can add to division and disharmony and also self-judgment. He encourages us to acknowledge what we don’t know and to be as honest as possible. I am a rather honest person anyway, so I could not really relate to this idea of becoming more honest. I admit, there are several levels of honesty. I rarely talk without a filter and say the first thing that pops in my head ( anymore). But honesty is not a foreign concept to me. It is not where I need to stretch. I abhor dishonesty and learned very quickly that uttering even a little white lie does not sit well in my body. I am hard-wired for honesty. I will, however, practice proclaiming some of the areas where I lack understanding:

I don’t know when I will work again.

I don’t know where my next job will be or if I will enjoy it.

I don’t know who will hire me.

I don’t know why Dexter had to leave me when he did.

I don’t know if he is safe or still in existence.

I don’t know when life will seem to be natural again.

I don’t know if I will have another diverticulitis attack.

I don’t know what caused the initial attack.

I don’t know if this spiritual exercise is in my best interest.

Wow, that was depressing! What I did like was his assertion that spiritual growth is not about discussing consciousness but being consciousness. Yeah, I can get behind that. I do aspire to live as love and consciousness. I have a stellium in the 9th house and Matt asks us not to seek understanding. C’mon, that’s crazy.

What do you guys think? I am up for discussion here. Maybe I don’t understand the teaching.

the-birth-of-venus-1912.jpg!HalfHD

Venus, where are you?

the-birth-of-venus-2.jpg!LargeWe are in the midst of Venus retrograde in Leo. Since it is currently in my 7th house of relationships and in contact with my ruler Uranus, natal Venus, and my Descendant, I was looking for some activity. It has been rather quiet for me, except for some awareness of loneliness without Dexter. No ex boyfriend sightings or communications other than in dreams, which is pretty much same-old, same-old in my world. While it is true that major transits do not always manifest outside of ourselves, I am still surprised by the lack of activity. Not everyone will agree that Venus retrograde is major, but I typically will attract lots of ex activity during these cosmic events. I wonder how you are faring. Any unusual occurrences?

Venus rules art and I am hosting an art museum Meetup do-over tomorrow. Maybe this is a more subtle movement that Venus has in mind for me. I am glad a couple of people signed up and I have a second chance to organize events for my friend’s Meetup community. I miss honing my leadership skills and having a chance to facilitate spiritual movements in others. I feel a void with so much focus on me and my health. While it is necessary that I up my game in terms of health maintenance, it is boring and often frustrating. However, being a grownup requires doing what is necessary and so I will continue on this road. The 6th house ( health and routine ) leads to the 7th house ( significant others) after-all. So I am taking probiotics and resumed chiropractic care with a new practitioner. It is exciting to try new approaches that are natural and more holistic.

It is also exciting to discover a new artist. All these gorgeous depictions of the birth of Venus are by Odilon Redon. I like the fluid, dreamy vibrations of these pieces. They definitely complement my mood today.

Here’s to a consciousness – in – action movement for all. As the sun moves into Virgo on 8/23, let’s strive to serve each other by loving ourselves with integrity and truth.

image credits: wikiart.org, public domain

Venus and Uranus Retrograde: Thunder Island

To quote my hero Anthony Bourdain, ” Welcome to my world!” Venus went retrograde this morning at 5:28 am EDT . Uranus is on her heels, retracing his steps 25 hours  later at 6:38 am EDT. On some level I feel afraid to leave my house. But hey, I feel that way a lot anyway !

Venus retrograde is a topic I have blogged about before because it’s an important cycle. I feel it very strongly, which is odd because my Venus is direct and remains that way even when progressed. It could be because so many of my ex partners come back to visit me either consciously or on other planes of existence. It could also be that Venus is the ruler of my  8th house of death and rebirth. In any case, when Venus appears to move backwards, memories and emotions about old flames come alive. With Uranus following a similar path, it appears that where love goes, lightening will strike.

Venus Uranus aspects or transits often produce the love at first sight effect. Just one glance and you never know what hit you. Have any of you been there? Great music, poetry, and films have been inspired by such a phenomenon. Often what may appear to be love is simply a powerful attraction of the electric variety. With Venus spending most of this cycle in Leo and Uranus respectively in Aries, we are talking fireworks! But do not do anything stupid unless you are willing to live with the fallout. These fireworks are quite exciting but very temporary and erratic. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

This is not the time to go out and meet someone new or spend lots of money on Venusian goods like jewelry and clothing. This can be an excellent time to unravel any leftover issues with former partners and whatever else that’s preventing you from moving on and making changes in your life. When a planet retrogrades, it is less about the external and all about the internal. In actuality, life typically operates this way anyway, but we often forget and look to whatever appears outside of us to validate our worth. If you still prefer externalization to build up your self-esteem, now is a wonderful time to modify your thoughts and behavior. Inner change is easier with Uranus retrograde so assess what needs to be upgraded. Don’t delete any files yet or install new software. Rather, review what may be corrupted or incompatible with the best version of you.

Look to where Leo and Aries are in your natal chart to get more insight into how these transits can be best used to your advantage. My 2nd and 7th houses are affected so I can expect some activity with abundance and partnerships. Since it seems like I have Venus retro natally, I do not expect to be that surprised. While the players may be different, the emotions that get triggered are all too familiar. I have noticed this quite often and this awareness has confirmed for me that I was correct in ending some friendships and romantic bonds.

When I think about love and loss in particular, I rarely miss a beat. Whatever I dread will happen once I love again typically does comes to fruition. Or at least that has been my pattern.  For example, after raising my cat Jasmine from a kitten to age 16, letting her go was excruciating. I never forgot the intensity of that loss. When I adopted Dexter, I said I would not love him like I loved Jasmine. It turns out this was true, but not the way I meant it. My love for Dexter was so much bigger, building on the love for Jasmine, but it did not eclipse that initial love. The loss of Dexter reminds me why I was so skeptical about getting another cat. I did not want to grieve again. It is a wicked catch 22 and the only way out is through.

My experience with my pets helped me see why I subconsciously decided to shut down my desire for romantic love. The pain and sadness were not worth the investment. Sometimes a break between involvements leaves me believing a new relationship would not cause the same suffering. But often my reasons for letting a relationship dissolve would re-emerge with someone new. Faulty soul contracts or inability to manifest better outcomes? I have no clue.

Matt Kahn repeatedly says that emotions even out when one begins to ascend. Perhaps this is why I am dealing better with Dexter’s passing than previous losses. The fact that I am pretty together after having lost what I loved most on the planet is astonishing. It is really a miracle that I am not curled up in the fetal position on the floor. Maybe I am evolving and/or the love of my community is holding a space for my healing. I do feel grateful that I am surviving this tragic sudden loss. While it does not seem fair, I realize that we do not get to control the lifespan of another.

While I am curious to see what shows up with these transits, I know that it is all about how I treat myself and raise my vibration. Sometimes the love we receive in relationship builds up in the soul and becomes a resource for future alliances. We shall see. I am grateful that I know myself better than ever and that I have become a more adaptable person. I really have no choice but to grow and adapt.

Thunder Island is an old song that once held special meaning for me. Frankly I forgot all about it until I heard it on the radio a few days ago. It is about a couple braving a summer storm on an island. It was popular during the time my family spent a month or so every August down the Jersey shore. One summer in particular a major hurricane was predicted to hit our beach during our vacation. While I recall our anguish over whether to ride out the storm or not, I do not remember if we went home and returned later, or took a risk and stayed.

 

What is important is the way I felt hearing the song again and reminiscing about my love interests down the shore. Thunder Island is a perfect metaphor in light of the Venus Uranus retrograde. It is often a place in my heart where unexpected openings wax and wane like the waves along any shore. During these tumultuous times it’s important to learn how to surf one’s inner emotional waves in order to arrive both safe and renewed on solid ground.

 

My Best Friend

Photo896

It has been incredibly challenging to simply survive this week. One week ago today, my beloved Dexter transitioned to another realm. So far this is a realm I cannot reach. I sincerely thank everyone here for their love and support. My longtime readers know that this year has not been an easy one. Your unwavering loyalty is priceless.

While writing is both my joy and my solace, words have not come easily to me lately. My pain is too great and my motivation too meager. Yet I do have a message to convey and I will attempt to do so to the best of my ability.

The week that Dexter died was a very busy one. While I know the word busy is relative, for me the increase in activity was substantial. Tuesday was the dentist, Wednesday and Thursday Caryn visited me, and Friday I took my car to the shop. Saturday, my last full day with Dexter was a blur, except for posting about master/students late at night. Sunday, of course, was my own private circle of hell. I wish I could remember more of my final day at home with Dexter, but I don’t. Unfortunately the details of last Sunday seem to be on a rotating loop inside my heart.

But I want to go back to earlier in the week to share some resources that have helped me and may help others who “stumble” upon my blog. Caryn and I have not been together in Philly since the 1990s. We did hang out last fall in NY after reconnecting on FB. I plan to blog about what brought me to NY, but that draft is not ready for completion. Caryn and I were so so busy: special Impressionist exhibition at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, movie night at an old lovely theater, 2 incredible meals ( one was Indian since we both adore it!) and a mini road trip to Longwood Gardens. Our 2 days were go go go and rather frenetic. The weather was horrible both days and my patience often wore thin. Yet grace did surround us in many ways: a deer crossing on a road where this “never” happens; a “random” encounter with a waiter that was filled with synchronicity, a gratis fruit platter that was a work of art in itself and discounts off our bill; and  the sheer joy of watching Caryn frolicking at Longwood for the very first time. The waterlilies  I am sharing were a highlight of this particular visit for me. They were not in bloom during my last two trips.

Photo897 (1)

Another source of peace was Matt Kahn. On Wednesday Caryn and I spoke about relationships and the nature of connections. That very evening I come home to notice a brand new video by Matt on soul mates and twin flames. In it he mentions, among many other things, that for some a soul mate may be their pet. This idea prompted me to refer to Dexter as my soul mate on my latest post. Matt refers to a soul mate as a balancing counterpart with little drama or intensity, but great love. While I do not agree with every point made, I find Matt’s take on the different type of soul connections to be fascinating and quite revelatory. This information is especially relevant in regards to next week’s Venus retrograde event.  I offer his video here:

 

Now I want to share some resources that have softened the loss by providing a rare understanding of my bond with my cats ( and most animals and inhabitants of the natural world) and some insight into the grieving process.

They are both courtesy of  Caryn and Karin, “the Carings” in my life. Caryn provided me with this link that really spoke to me. I am very picky about these grief expert offerings, perhaps because I provide these services in my work, or because I am quite discerning. In any case, this article was profoundly insightful. For those who may not understand the connection between human and animal, please take a look and your impressions may shift.

http://www.anaflora.com/grieving/beloved/beloved.html

I especially like both these passages:

The love of an animal permits us to unfold, to open up, drop our defenses and to be naked, not only physically but psychologically and spiritually as well. With an animal we let ourselves be seen instead of hiding behind our personalities, our cultures, our jobs, our clothing or our makeup. They know us as no one else does, in our private joys, angry rages, deepest despair, in sickness and in health. All the while their calm steady presence companions us with an unwavering love like few others on this earth. Our animal companions see through us to the very soul of our soul, encouraging the unfolding of a sacred trust. If there is such a thing as a soul mate, then surely this is it.

Many people have never been blessed with, or felt for themselves, the true love of an animal. They are incapable of understanding that your love for an animal may surpass your love for the humans that are the closest to you. It is a different bond, in a way, more profound; something only the heart understands. What I have learned over the years, as a student of grief and a student of many spiritual traditions, is that no guru, guide, master or friend no matter how enlightened can comfort the heart that believes it has lost what it holds most dear. Whether grieving ourselves, or consoling a grieving friend, often the most useful thing we can do is to simply tell our story. For in the story of our own journey through the gates of grief, or in bearing witness to the grief of another, we can at least legitimize the experience and make it “Sacred.”

Karin turned me on to this excellent video with medium Danielle MacKinnon that was posted just a few days ago. While I do hold some skepticism regarding animal communicators, Danielle is someone who naturally conveys authenticity and warmth. Please check it out if you are called to explore this topic further. What really struck me most was the question posed near the end of the interview.:

 Animals choose to pass at a particular time.  Ask yourself : What was it about this time that has meaning for you?

Here is the link for the video: https://wingingwithwhitehawk.wordpress.com/2015/07/16/pets-in-the-afterlife/

Finally I want to share some closing thoughts. It is so ironic that I have been so successful as a grief counselor. So very many clients over the years suffered unimaginable trauma and loss. I seem to be rather effective at facilitating healing for those in pain and was quite driven to focus on this area of therapy. Personally though, I suck at loss and death. I do not judge how I grieve, so please do not misconstrue my meaning. I just do not like to let go. I do not detach easily, especially if the bond was deep. Losing my first cat brought me to the brink of depression from which I doubted I would ever recover. Yet I did recover and I will recover from this loss. But this journey has just begun…

Let me conclude with a song that helps express the enormity of my love for Dexter. When I call him my best friend and soul mate, I am not exaggerating. It does not mean I do not love or have not loved other human beings deeply.

Dexter

It’s just different.


For a tribute to Dexter circa 2013ish, please visit OM’s site here.

Venus Stationing in Capricorn Conjunct Pluto – You and I

I am re-publishing this post because it includes some material on Venus in Capricorn. This is timely in light of Venus entering Capricorn yesterday. Venus is also approaching its meeting with Pluto so the Venus/Pluto themes still apply.  I hope you enjoy it. Comments are always appreciated!

My muse has begun to tap on my shoulder so new material may be arriving shortly..   

  in light, litebeing

 

Thank you for the overwhelmingly positive response to my Awakening post. Reading and responding to your comments was very emotionally moving for me. I was going to blog about Venus Retrograde much sooner, but thinking about and finally writing about my spiritual opening consumed all of my psychic energy. So I decided to post now in the wake of the Venus station , which is extremely close to Pluto. While you read this post, I invite you to ponder your experience with the Venus retrograde and current station with Pluto. I was going to title this post “Are We Having Fun Yet?”,  but decided to take a less cynical view. Please let me know if you indeed have been having fun, or perhaps shed a few tears over the past month. I really hope to hear from some of my male readers to get their unique perspectives on this fascinating planetary event.

wikimedia free domain

Venus in Capricorn

Venus ( pictured above) is incredibly beautiful. I would also add that she is incredibly misunderstood. It takes years of living and loving from the heart to really embrace the Venusian energies. I want to start off with my understanding of Venus in Capricorn. When I first began to study horoscopes and interpret charts for others, I was quite fascinated with all the possible Venus placements. I do not think I really understood the value of Venus in Capricorn until recently.  While I do have natal Venus in my 1oth house, it is in Sagittarius. I will get to that later.   Back in 2006, my Sun progressed into Capricorn joining natal Jupiter and Saturn. Now Mercury has also joined this ” motley crew”  to make 4 planets in the land of Saturn. So I now have a better grasp of this magnificent placement.

Venus is Capricorn is not the cold , scheming business woman obsessed with her career and station in life. Oh no, there is much more that lurks in her heart. She loves the fragility and aesthetic pleasure found in form.  She also understands the importance of tempering love with patience and tolerance over time. Love does not usually come easily with this expression of Venus, but there is such appreciation and gratitude for love’s maturation over the course of time. Sometimes she chooses a younger lover, while at other junctures she looks to a more seasoned mate. She understands the value of quality over quantity, classics over trends. She revels in the lessons revealed from history ( or herstory). She finds romantic love to reignite her youth during her golden years, while many of her peers have succumbed to the wrath of old age.

200px-Venus_symbol.svg

My Venus

My Venus is in Sagittarius in the 1oth house. It is part of an often annoying yod configuration with my Mars in Cancer in the 6th house and my Aquarian Ascendant. It also very closely opposes my Moon in Gemini. Both the rulers of my Sun and Ascendant, Pluto and Uranus are in my 7th house. Venus rules my 8th house with Libra on the 8th house cusp. Pluto is conjunct the North Node. My 7th house ruler is the Sun in Scorpio conjunct Neptune and Mercury Retrograde in the 9th house. To the astrologers who are reading, you know that this equates to one hot mess! This is painfully true. Last night I began to read about Pluto in my newly acquired The Astrology of Fate by the über talented Liz Greene. The revelations I discovered here are extraordinary. Where was this book when I was a young woman? Here are some excerpts on Pluto in the 7th and Pluto/Venus:

Meeting Pluto in the seventh house, for example, mans meeting Moira ( the goddess of Fate) through the “other”.  Divorce is common, as are love triangles, painful rejections, death of a partner, and power battles. The variations are enormous, but the theme is single, relationships are the place where one is subjected to  something far more powerful and inevitable than one’s own will and choices. Sometimes the individual may elect to work with others who are caught up in Pluto’s web… Here we find the doctor, psychoanalyst,the psychiatrist and even the politician.

Pluto introduces Venus to what lies beneath the flowers and elegant gestures of romantic courtship.  The underpinning is not pretty and certainly not fair. Venus- Pluto also has a propensity for sexual triangles. These are neither fair or wished for, but they are a  fact of life. Love may be trans-formative, deepening, numinous, ecstatic and full of meaning and richness; and there is usually a fatality about it.

I always led with my Venus in Sag to the exclusion of Mars in homebody Cancer and Moon in the domestic 4th house. Venus in Sag does not think, it just goes for it! Regardless of all the times I analyzed decisions about romance, in the end my heart always prevailed. Venus in Sagittarius is impulsive, freedom loving, ridiculously idealistic, excitement -seeking and adventurous. When in the 10th house, she looks for romance in her calling, her destiny. Paired with Mars in the 6th, it inevitably leads to love/passion in the office. Over and over and over and over again….

While writing my post for Barbara’s Awakening Challenge, I paid close attention to the Venus Retrograde and began researching past significant Venus transits. I noticed that I have had a few powerful encounters during previous Venus retrograde cycles. I wrote about the 2004 transit in my story on “James”.  There were two others that I discovered during my Uranus to Sun transit as a teenager, and as I was having my Saturn Return at age 29. Funny how I had not attributed Venus’s influence on these events until now. I guess they were over-looked due to the huge impact these rare outer planet transits made on me. While the romances were important,  other more major life events were happening at the same time. I am not ready to write about these stories now, but let’s just say that the men I met were charismatic, creative, sensitive, and struggling with demons that  ultimately eclipsed what we shared in relationship.

wikimedia free domain

Venus Retrograde 2013-2014

Venus went retrograde at 28 degrees Capricorn on December 21, 2013 and stationed at 13 degrees Capricorn on January 31, 2014. Pluto is currently at 12 degrees Capricorn. The action has taken place for me in my 12th house , finally moving to my 11th house to join my natal Saturn at 13 Capricorn. So this particular transit was about 12th house, Saturn and Pluto for me. I have been having recurring dreams for months about past partners. They have been mostly devoid of feeling for me while dreaming, Yet I would wake up disturbed to find these symbols dominating my dream life. Since this all started before the transit, I wondered what may have caused this pattern?  Michael Lutin has said that this current transit is tied to 2012 when Saturn was exalted in Libra.

This may partially explain my dreams and why I had a real-time visitation from a former love interest on 12-30-13. It was very bizarre for a variety of reasons. I quit a 5 year affiliation with my employer  during the 2012 Venus retrograde period. I have not seen any of my coworkers from there since I resigned. I met a man at that job in 2009 and we started up a heated flirtation shortly upon his arrival. It was an impossible situation and the connection eventually turned sour. I had also quit my long-term group practice in early December 2013. On December 30th I was meeting with a former client at a  local Starbucks. We met there with his permission since I no longer had office space at the practice.  I was facing the barista station and he was facing the wall. Towards the end of our meeting , my former crush shows up with his young son.  When they were passing by me on the way out, I decided to say hello. He introduced me to his son and was waiting for me to introduce him to  my former client. Because of confidentiality, I said nothing. My former client did introduce himself and they shook hands. I briefly caught up with him about the latest happenings at the office and  then said good bye. It was very awkward and unexpected. Yet it was comforting to realize that I no longer harbored any anger towards him. We both live in the same vicinity but have never run into one another before. What is much more bizarre is the connection between the men. When I was involved with my coworker in 2009, he and my client were going through similar issues. They also share the same Sun sign, are around the same age, and live near one another. I was experiencing some uncomfortable counter-transference at that particular time. None of this has any relevance now, except that when they shook hands, it felt like I was witnessing a thought form manifest. These two people in  very distinct sectors of my life were coming together out of my inner world and into the physical realm.

The rest of this transit was more about reliving my 2004-2005 drama in preparation for my Challenge post and sifting through the seemingly endless foray of dreams ” From Christmas Past.” The only other real-time event was watching the film  Her. This movie is about a man in the near future who falls in love with his computer OS (operating system). This film was so much more nuanced than I originally expected. The takeaway for me (Spoiler Alert) was when Samantha the OS breaks up with him. She and the other OSs decide to leave together in order to explore higher realms of consciousness. In one scene Samantha touchingly reveals to the lead character Theodore  how she is growing at such a rapid pace and cannot possibly love just one person. She tries unsuccessfully to describe the limitlessness of love. What I gleaned from this story is that when lovers grow apart, no one is at fault and that it is unrealistic for the less evolved party to comprehend where the other is heading. I highly recommend this very timely and insightful take on 21st Century romance.

Girolamo_da_Treviso_-_Sleeping_Venus_-_WGA09520 (1)

Venus and music

I was considering relaying some highlights from other significant Venus events that have occurred during my life. Yet this post is way longer than I planned, so I will leave you now with some musical nuggets to savor. Many of  you know how much I emphasize the importance of music in the enrichment of my inner life. I have selected some videos that artfully illustrate various Venus transits. These songs have kept me company during some difficult yet necessary periods of growth. Please select those that speak to you and let me know if they captured the essence of the transits to your satisfaction. Please feel free to share some of your favorite love songs in the comments section.

You and I  Lady GagaI chose this for this post’s title because this video portrays the simple pure joy of love. The energy portal in Nebraska is the third character in the story line. This is raw Venus in action for me.

The One That Got Away   Katy Perry ~ This is Pluto and Venus personified – love, regret, death, and pain. Good times, not! But very characteristic of this powerful combo.

Cool   Gwen Stefani ~Here we have Saturn Venus taking us through the realization that we can move on and be mature. We can accept ” what is” and cherish the memories of love gone by. Take a look at the cinematography and how Gwen Stefani sees the past in her former lover’s eyes. The style of storytelling is reminiscent of my Awakening post and very Neptune/Venus.

My Boo  Usher and Alicia Keys ~  Here is another Saturn Venus scenario. Two childhood sweethearts reminisce about the past while accepting they have both moved on without bitterness. It also invites you to look at the reality of the individuals, not their glamorous personas.

Halo  Beyonce and Michael Ealy ~ I think the title says it all: Neptune Venus has arrived. The couple endure because the woman realizes that he has a beautiful soul. He is her savior.

For The Love of You Jude Law and Nia Long ~  Another Neptune Venus gem is from the Alfie remake. The song is very ethereal and the chemistry between the two actors is heavenly inspired. Jude Law has Neptune Venus on his Sagittarius ascendant. Need I say more!

We Found Love  Rhianna~ Welcome to Pluto Venus on steroids. I have certainly lived this roller-coaster  ride with one man in particular. We had Pluto trine Venus in our synastry ( same degree and minute!). We also both have Pluto in the 7th house. ‘ Nuff said.

Fighter Christina Aguilera ~ More Pluto Venus fun as she transforms as a result of being manipulated and betrayed. Been there, done that. I blogged on this here:

 https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/11/05/its-my-birthday-and-ill-blog-if-i-want-to/

wikimedia free domain

I Know Him So Well Whitney and Cissy Houston ~ This to me embodies the heart of Venus Retrograde. Your heart aches as you realize you cannot change the past or anyone else. You can only change your reactions and attitudes and rewrite your story.

How did Venus treat you?

Have you felt the wrath of Pluto now that Venus has gone direct?

Tell me about your Venus transits past or present, or those that occur “outside of time.”

all art courtesy of wikimedia.org  public domain

all recent venus images wikipedia.org public domain

Venus Stationing in Capricorn Conjunct Pluto – You and I

Thank you for the overwhelmingly positive response to my Awakening post. Reading and responding to your comments was very emotionally moving for me. I was going to blog about Venus Retrograde much sooner, but thinking about and finally writing about my spiritual opening consumed all of my psychic energy. So I decided to post now in the wake of the Venus station , which is extremely close to Pluto. While you read this post, I invite you to ponder your experience with the Venus retrograde and current station with Pluto. I was going to title this post “Are We Having Fun Yet?”,  but decided to take a less cynical view. Please let me know if you indeed have been having fun, or perhaps shed a few tears over the past month. I really hope to hear from some of my male readers to get their unique perspectives on this fascinating planetary event.

wikimedia free domain

Venus in Capricorn

Venus ( pictured above) is incredibly beautiful. I would also add that she is incredibly misunderstood. It takes years of living and loving from the heart to really embrace the Venusian energies. I want to start off with my understanding of Venus in Capricorn. When I first began to study horoscopes and interpret charts for others, I was quite fascinated with all the possible Venus placements. I do not think I really understood the value of Venus in Capricorn until recently.  While I do have natal Venus in my 1oth house, it is in Sagittarius. I will get to that later.   Back in 2006, my Sun progressed into Capricorn joining natal Jupiter and Saturn. Now Mercury has also joined this ” motley crew”  to make 4 planets in the land of Saturn. So I now have a better grasp of this magnificent placement.

Venus is Capricorn is not the cold , scheming business woman obsessed with her career and station in life. Oh no, there is much more that lurks in her heart. She loves the fragility and aesthetic pleasure found in form.  She also understands the importance of tempering love with patience and tolerance over time. Love does not usually come easily with this expression of Venus . But there is such appreciation and gratitude for love’s maturation over the course of time. Sometimes she chooses a younger lover, while at other junctures she looks to a more seasoned mate. She understands the value of quality over quantity, classics over trends. She revels in the lessons revealed from history ( or herstory). She finds romantic love to reignite her youth during her golden years, while many of her peers have succumbed to the wrath of old age.

200px-Venus_symbol.svg

My Venus

My Venus is in Sagittarius in the 1oth house. It is part of an often annoying yod configuration with my Mars in Cancer in the 6th house and my Aquarian Ascendant. It also very closely opposes my Moon in Gemini. Both the rulers of my Sun and Ascendant, Pluto and Uranus are in my 7th house. Venus rules my 8th house with Libra on the 8th house cusp. Pluto is conjunct the North Node. My 7th house ruler is the Sun in Scorpio conjunct Neptune and Mercury Retrograde in the 9th house. To the astrologers who are reading, you know that this equates to one hot mess! This is painfully true. Last night I began to read about Pluto in my newly acquired The Astrology of Fate by the über talented Liz Greene. The revelations I discovered here are extraordinary. Where was this book when I was a young woman? Here are some excerpts on Pluto in the 7th and Pluto/Venus:

Meeting Pluto in the seventh house, for example, mans meeting Moira ( the goddess of Fate) through the “other”.  Divorce is common, as are love triangles, painful rejections, death of a partner, and power battles. The variations are enormous, but the theme is single, relationships are the place where one is subjected to  something far more powerful and inevitable than one’s own will and choices. Sometimes the individual may elect to work with others who are caught up in Pluto’s web… Here we find the doctor, psychoanalyst,the psychiatrist and even the politician.

Pluto introduces Venus to what lies beneath the flowers and elegant gestures of romantic courtship.  The underpinning is not pretty and certainly not fair. Venus- Pluto also has a propensity for sexual triangles. These are neither fair or wished for, but they are a  fact of life. Love may be trans-formative, deepening, numinous, ecstatic and full of meaning and richness; and there is usually a fatality about it.

I always led with my Venus in Sag to the exclusion of Mars in homebody Cancer and Moon in the domestic 4th house. Venus in Sag does not think, it just goes for it! Regardless of all the times I analyzed decisions about romance, in the end my heart always prevailed. Venus in Sagittarius is impulsive, freedom loving, ridiculously idealistic, excitement -seeking and adventurous. When in the 10th house, she looks for romance in her calling, her destiny. Paired with Mars in the 6th, it inevitably leads to love/passion in the office. Over and over and over and over again….

While writing my post for Barbara’s Awakening Challenge, I paid close attention to the Venus Retrograde and began researching past significant Venus transits. I noticed that I have had a few powerful encounters during previous Venus retrograde cycles. I wrote about the 2004 transit in my story on “James”.  There were two others that I discovered during my Uranus to Sun transit as a teenager, and as I was having my Saturn Return at age 29. Funny how I had not attributed Venus’s influence on these events until now. I guess they were over-looked due to the huge impact these rare outer planet transits made on me. While the romances were important,  other more major life events were happening at the same time. I am not ready to write about these stories now, but let’s just say that the men I met were charismatic, creative, sensitive, and struggling with demons that  ultimately eclipsed what we shared in relationship.

wikimedia free domain

Venus Retrograde 2013-2014

Venus went retrograde at 28 degrees Capricorn on December 21, 2013 and stationed at 13 degrees Capricorn on January 31, 2014. Pluto is currently at 12 degrees Capricorn. The action has taken place for me in my 12th house , finally moving to my 11th house to join my natal Saturn at 13 Capricorn. So this particular transit was about 12th house, Saturn and Pluto for me. I have been having recurring dreams for months about past partners. They have been mostly devoid of feeling for me while dreaming, Yet I would wake up disturbed to find these symbols dominating my dream life. Since this all started before the transit, I wondered what may have caused this pattern?  Michael Lutin has said that this current transit is tied to 2012 when Saturn was exalted in Libra.

This may partially explain my dreams and why I had a real-time visitation from a former love interest on 12-30-13. It was very bizarre for a variety of reasons. I quit a 5 year affiliation with my employer  during the 2012 Venus retrograde period. I have not seen any of my coworkers from there since I resigned. I met a man at that job in 2009 and we started up a heated flirtation shortly upon his arrival. It was an impossible situation and the connection eventually turned sour. I had also quit my long-term group practice in early December 2013. On December 30th I was meeting with a former client at a  local Starbucks. We met there with his permission since I no longer had office space at the practice.  I was facing the barista station and he was facing the wall. Towards the end of our meeting , my former crush shows up with his young son.  When they were passing by me on the way out, I decided to say hello. He introduced me to his son and was waiting for me to introduce him to  my former client. Because of confidentiality, I said nothing. My former client did introduce himself and they shook hands. I briefly caught up with him about the latest happenings at the office and  then said good bye. It was very awkward and unexpected. Yet it was comforting to realize that I no longer harbored any anger towards him. We both live in the same vicinity but have never run into one another before. What is much more bizarre is the connection between the men. When I was involved with my coworker in 2009, he and my client were going through similar issues. They also share the same Sun sign, are around the same age, and live near one another. I was experiencing some uncomfortable counter-transference at that particular time. None of this has any relevance now, except that when they shook hands, it felt like I was witnessing a thought form manifest. These two people in  very distinct sectors of my life were coming together out of my inner world and into the physical realm.

The rest of this transit was more about reliving my 2004-2005 drama in preparation for my Challenge post and sifting through the seemingly endless foray of dreams ” From Christmas Past.” The only other real-time event was watching the film  Her. This movie is about a man in the near future who falls in love with his computer OS (operating system). This film was so much more nuanced than I originally expected. The takeaway for me (Spoiler Alert) was when Samantha the OS breaks up with him. She and the other OSs decide to leave together in order to explore higher realms of consciousness. In one scene Samantha touchingly reveals to the lead character Theodore  how she is growing at such a rapid pace and cannot possibly love just one person. She tries unsuccessfully to describe the limitlessness of love. What I gleaned from this story is that when lovers grow apart, no one is at fault and that it is unrealistic for the less evolved party to comprehend where the other is heading. I highly recommend this very timely and insightful take on 21st Century romance.

Girolamo_da_Treviso_-_Sleeping_Venus_-_WGA09520 (1)

Venus and music

I was considering relaying some highlights from other significant Venus events that have occurred during my life. Yet this post is way longer than I planned, so I will leave you now with some musical nuggets to savor. Many of  you know how much I emphasize the importance of music in the enrichment of my inner life. I have selected some videos that artfully illustrate various Venus transits. These songs have kept me company during some difficult yet necessary periods of growth. Please select those that speak to you and let me know if they captured the essence of the transits to your satisfaction. Please feel free to share some of your favorite love songs in the comments section.

You and I  Lady GagaI chose this for this post’s title because this video portrays the simple pure joy of love. The energy portal in Nebraska is the third character in the story line. This is raw Venus in action for me.

The One That Got Away   Katy Perry ~ This is Pluto and Venus personified – love, regret, death, and pain. Good times, not! But very characteristic of this powerful combo.

Cool   Gwen Stefani ~Here we have Saturn Venus taking us through the realization that we can move on and be mature. We can accept ” what is” and cherish the memories of love gone by. Take a look at the cinematography and how Gwen Stefani sees the past in her former lover’s eyes. The style of storytelling is reminiscent of my Awakening post and very Neptune/Venus.

My Boo  Usher and Alicia Keys ~  Here is another Saturn Venus scenario. Two childhood sweethearts reminisce about the past while accepting they have both moved on without bitterness. It also invites you to look at the reality of the individuals, not their glamorous personas.

Halo  Beyonce and Michael Ealy ~ I think the title says it all: Neptune Venus has arrived. The couple endure because the woman realizes that he has a beautiful soul. He is her savior.

For The Love of You Jude Law and Nia Long ~  Another Neptune Venus gem is from the Alfie remake. The song is very ethereal and the chemistry between the two actors is heavenly inspired. Jude Law has Neptune Venus on his Sagittarius ascendant. Need I say more!

We Found Love  Rhianna~ Welcome to Pluto Venus on steroids. I have certainly lived this roller-coaster  ride with one man in particular. We had Pluto trine Venus in our synastry ( same degree and minute!). We also both have Pluto in the 7th house. ‘ Nuff said.

Fighter Christina Aguilera ~ More Pluto Venus fun as she transforms as a result of being manipulated and betrayed. Been there, done that. I blogged on this here:

 https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/11/05/its-my-birthday-and-ill-blog-if-i-want-to/

wikimedia free domain

I Know Him So Well Whitney and Cissy Houston ~ This to me embodies the heart of Venus Retrograde. Your heart aches as you realize you cannot change the past or anyone else. You can only change your reactions and attitudes and rewrite your story.

How did Venus treat you?

Have you felt the wrath of Pluto now that Venus has gone direct?

Tell me about your Venus transits past or present, or those that occur “outside of time.”

all art courtesy of wikimedia.org  public domain

My Awakening Experience and Moving On: It is always about love

key_eternity

Please play this while reading :  Collide

The dawn is breaking

A light shining through

You’re barely waking

And I’m tangled up in you

Yeah

Fitting words from the song Collide by Howie Day for an experience that really defies the limits of human communication. This looks like the beginning of a romantic love story. Looks though, can be deceiving! On January 30th, Uranus the Awakener  ( modern ruler of Aquarius) is in full force. Today also marks the Chinese New Year, the Year of the Wood Horse. I chose today on this rare Black Moon, the Aquarius New Moon ( a few degrees behind my Ascendant) that also features Mercury conjunct Neptune to post my offering for my participation in Barbara’s January Challenge on Awakening. Thank you Barbara for giving me a nudge to look back at this time in order to gain some perspective and share with others.

It is an auspicious time to herald new awakenings ( Aquarius/Uranus) and write about mystical openings ( Mercury conjunct Neptune).  I am not claiming to be enlightened or awakened, far from it. Growth to me is both cyclic and nonlinear in nature. I envision a spiral when I reflect on my life thus far. I have moved through life with many highs and lows, but each time a challenge comes, I emerge somewhat changed and move further along the larger individual /collective spiral. I will now attempt to describe an experience that was otherworldly and incredibly trans-formative. While my memories have faded, I still see that this glimpse beyond the veil has relevance in my present life.  There have been many other openings before, and many since. But this particular time it was all about love. And love is all that really prevails in the energetic field of consciousness. I chose the song Collide because it was popular during the Summer of 2005 when I experienced this brief but poignant opening.  In fact I crafted my first blog series ~ The Collision Series, with both this song and that awakening in mind to illustrate how subtle awakenings can trigger a new ( or renewed) way of BEing.

Background

It helps to have some background, a context for my journey. I did not fit in as a child.  I felt alone, awkward, misunderstood, and unimportant. My parents desperately wanted a child, but not the one that they got!  Some respite was found in my imagination. My inner world and my curiosity were my refuge. The occasional teacher or neighbor offered guidance and a more progressive outlook. I also had a chance as a small child to visit my great – aunt and great – uncle a few times and use their art supplies.  I recall feeling excited and so at peace creating and learning about art, and feeling more understood by them than other adults in my family. I have a feeling that they were people who I had more in common with, but I will never know. I did not get an opportunity to know them well.

Fear, anger, and upheaval were a constant growing up in my complex, dysfunctional family. My parents were not equipped to love me in the way that I needed. It took years for this truth to become clear to me. I also felt isolated because we moved so often. I never knew my extended family very well because they lived far away from us. I began to gain some footing, however, once my  progressed sun moved from Scorpio to Sagittarius. I made some new friends that I could trust and thrived in their company. Yet when I began to heavily experiment with drugs and started having vivid dreams and  heightened psychic abilities, I was utterly alone. I had no one to confide in.  I eventually shut down out of fear. I attributed these ” experiences” to be artificially drug induced and unimportant. So I minimized them and packed them away for a while.

the_journey

My journey

Once I left home, moved into my own apartment out of state, and began my senior year in college I met a coworker who would days later become my boyfriend. Within less than 2 weeks, my life had dramatically shifted! This was an extraordinary time. He was involved in a spiritual cult based on Indian meditation and philosophical practices. I did not approve of his dependence on this “teacher” Osho/Rajneesh, but I was open to exploring my spirituality again. While I avoided involvement in anything cultish, my knowledge of astrology, dream-work, meditation, and metaphysics accelerated. I remained open and met more people ” on the path”.  In graduate school  a student led me to meditation classes at a center on South St. This is where I first saw the material from A Course in Miracles.  This center organized a retreat in the Pocono mountains. A couple I met at the retreat instantly bonded with me and invited me to a raw foods spiritual group. And on and on it goes..  I experimented with many teachings such as channeled lessons, RAMTHA,  raw food, A Course in Miracles, Hindu and Buddhist practices, Quakerism,and a few I no longer remember. I am so grateful for the people I met and the knowledge acquired.

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Between two worlds

In 2004 I was very busy in the outer world. I had 2 demanding jobs; I was recovering from a devastating breakup with a coworker; I was fully ensconced in my Quaker Meeting community, and I was editing and co-writing a book with my friend. I had just transferred to a new unit at my government social service job, but (to quote Prince in Raspberry Beret ) ”  Seems that I was busy doing something close 2 nothing, but different than the day before.” My duties had become stagnant and stale in this toxic, soul-depleting environment. I knew I needed a change but my efforts to find a new job were unsuccessful. I was also looking to buy a house. Surprisingly, I could not find the right property.   I typically find whatever I like eventually, so this really had me baffled. So I sought out a clearness committee. Within Quakerism, the clearness committee represents a process for discernment.  I also continued  meeting with my spiritual advisor about figuring out my calling and defining next steps. I felt loved and supported outside of work, and tormented by ghosts and adversaries on the job. I also loved my editing/writing and it kept me going. Life was busy and moving at a rapid pace.

One day I was invited to attend a weekend workshop at Pendle Hill.  Pendle Hill is a Quaker center in Wallingford, PA that is internationally known for Spirit-led learning, retreat, and community.  My meeting agreed to pay for half of the tuition and Pendle Hill would absorb the remainder. I was so excited to get away, if even for just a long weekend. My book was about mystical experiences and my interest in the ethereal was heightened. I hoped to meet people with similar interests.

The first evening we gathered around in a large circle at the beautiful conference room at Brinton House and introduced ourselves. A couple of much younger people were sitting at the opposite end of this majestic room with beautiful hardwood floors and a cathedral ceiling. A young man with a foreign accent began to speak. I will call him “James”.  He used few words and was very soft-spoken. But I distinctly heard him say ” I have had a few mystical experiences.” No one else mentioned this topic that evening. I took it as a sign to introduce myself. The next morning I bravely went up to James and asked him if he would be willing to speak with me. He said we could talk after the workshop was over. James was new on staff at the retreat center and worked as a gardener. He had just returned from extensive travel overseas and actually grew up just a few miles away.  I was nervous about talking with him because he was so much younger than I, and I was feeling an attraction towards him that was subtle but uncomfortable. For the remainder of the weekend James would join my table for meals and look over at me during class sessions. He was observing me and again I was a bit unsettled.

We got together at the end of the weekend. We talked for hours about anything and everything. We had so much in common despite the age difference. Time and space dissipated. I told him things about myself that my closest friends did not know. I think this was because I figured I would never see him again. He was just staying here temporarily in- between his travels.  I saw the faces and smiles of all the men in my past in his expressions and his gaze. Light radiated from his eyes and it was dazzling and brilliant. I knew him and yet I did not know him. Venus had just gone retrograde ( on my moon) and conjoined the sun a couple weeks before. It was about to station near my IC in just 2 days. But I was not thinking about Venus because I was not looking for love…

magical_meeting

Magical meeting

In the year that followed , my life moved along. I had lost touch with James. The book project was suspended indefinitely, because my friend was distracted with other concerns. Work was tense and isolating. I continued to look for a house and a new job. I also continued to attend Quaker worship and meet with my advisor. I felt angry, tired, sad, and lonely. Neptune was slowly making its way towards my Ascendant at this time. I was looking forward to this major transit, but had no expectations on how it would manifest in me.  I noticed that Pendle Hill was offering a class on spiritual discernment. The same class was offered the year before and it looked really interesting. I received financial support for attending a 5 day class in the middle of Summer. I recall that I was put on a waiting list for the spiritual discernment class and another class that was offered a few weeks later. I eventually was contacted that there was a spot for me in the spiritual discernment class! Neptune would land on my Ascendant the very first night of the class. How exciting! My intentions were clear  for this 5 day class/ retreat. I was very focused on my goal – to decide whether or not to quit my full-time job and to consider new ways of following my calling.

I arrived to the center very stressed out and anxious. I was so eager to submerge myself in the calm yet powerful energies of Pendle Hill.  Upon arrival that evening at Brinton House, I went to the large wooden conference room after I unpacked my bags. It was around sunset and I felt a presence. I felt a sense of peace and excitement in the silence. It was familiar somehow. A Divine Spark was about to be ignited. I thought about James, the young man I met here in this very room. I had figured he was back traveling and creating new adventures for himself. Yet it seemed like he was in the room with me! On the first evening we all gathered in the main dining area for dinner. I went into the kitchen with my tray to get some dinner. I saw a young man working in the kitchen who looked a bit familiar but he had long hair and a beard. Literally  a few seconds later a woman in the room shouted ” James!” and he turned around. It was him!  He was still HERE.    I was partially in shock, but also felt a sense of confirmation that my intuition was in full gear back at the classroom. The next day I saw James at breakfast and we looked at one another. When he was right behind me while emptying our trays. I simply said hello and smiled. He responded by calling me by name and declaring that I came back  here to take the class I was curious about last year. How did he know? He then suggested we get together later. My head was spinning. Here I am with a strong mission and focus and this person comes back into my life. All of the sudden I feel myself being pulled into this vortex. How will I handle this cosmic curve ball?

We did meet for a few hours on  the day before I was scheduled to leave. Like before, we just talked and talked and talked and talked some more.  I was so blown away by our time together that I forgot when dinner was served and showed up an hour late. James was startled to hear I was leaving the next day , so he asked to meet again after my classes were over, just like last summer. I knew intuitively that there was something incomplete between us, so I agreed to meet one last time.

We met after my class ended , outside on this sweltering July afternoon. That’s when it happened. I could tell you where we sat and about the weather ( close to 100 degrees the entire week!) but I would be remiss to be able to logically explain what happened next. I felt like our spirits merged. I was totally understood and loved in a way that was new to me. Love without expectations. He wanted no-thing from me in return. I had never experienced this before!  We just listened to each other and let silence in, and shared who we are at a soul level. It seemed like we were blending our energies in our words and actions.  Neptune was on my Ascendant so perfect timing was in play. I did not realize it at the time, but I was getting an upgrade. There was no instruction manual. I doubt it would have made a difference anyway. I was on a magic carpet ride and there was no turning back!

While we were having our marathon encounter , I had a very unique thought. I heard my inner voice say ” If I were to die right now, it would be fine. I am at peace because I am totally understood , seen, accepted, and known.”  In fact at certain moments it felt like I was already in a higher dimension having my life review.  I was touched by Divine Love and everything was aligned. It was not about the young man really. Referencing our astrological synastry or the telepathy between us or other links is really superfluous in this case.  To quote what my friend, the talented psychic and astrologer Robert Graham , said when I later told him about what happened, ” He is just a clue.” What I mean here is that my openness to James created a portal to the Divine. Months later when we discussed our relationship, he admitted that when we are together, he would transcend. I learned or should I say re-membered about the power and magic of combining energies and raising the combined frequencies. A 3rd semi-distinct consciousness was created when we were together.  I was in a haze after we said goodbye. I walked around the grounds and saw light in the silence. I drove home on a busy interstate highway, but the car was driving me. Typically this road is scary and intimidating for me, but that evening I was lost in song and the car seemed to glide on the road. I lost all sense of time and space. I have no idea how I got home.

For a few more days I stayed with the light and bliss. I only had contact with James a few more times. But I realized that Robert was correct in that this man was not a goal. James was representative of the divine in action. I had reflected intently on an exercise held towards the end of the spiritual discernment class where we reviewed the names of various roles posted on the walls and recorded which ones were part of our calling. Mystic was one of the choices .  I decided that I was in fact a mystic, or at least a beginner mystic. I was very drawn to Rumi for inspiration.  The poetry of Rumi was very helpful in showing me examples of the Cosmic Union. This was not about romantic love at all and I saw that clearly. We were very intimately linked but not like romantic lovers. He was everything and nothing. He was family and a stranger all wrapped into one. We were so similar and yet so different. This experience was exquisitely a meeting of 2 energetic beings in a very strong portal ( Pendle Hill) at a time where Neptune was coming to my Ascendent. Time and Space collided in such a way to bring this potentiality into form.

alternative

Moving on

When I returned to work after my vacation, events occurred in a way that revealed it was time to move on. My Clearness committee was very helpful in assisting me in clarifying my experiences. So I lived on my ” house money” and quit my job before finding a new one. I was scared and liberated at the same time. I continued to notice light and symmetry in the silence, especially in nature. Communion with birds often triggered an opening for me.   I discovered that Pendle Hill and Longwood Gardens were “power places” for me. Eckhart Tolle talks about these portals in The Power of Now. My perspective on love between humans shifted as well. I now had a glimpse of what is truly real. Love without conditions. Love that pulsates all around us and within us. The song Collide is written from the man’s point of view and I believe it mirrors how I imagine James felt about our time together. Having said that; this song also resonates at a more cosmic level , especially the first section.

The dawn is breaking

A light shining through

You’re barely waking

And I’m tangled up in you

Yeah

The dawn was breaking within my being and the light was beginning to enter my awareness. I was barely waking to what waits beyond the physical plane. The entanglement was both between myself and this young man , and  also occurring at the quantum level. Was this awakening fleeting, ephemeral and anomalous? Was it a miracle in the purest sense of the word? Am I still wondering what more can happen as Neptune continues to spend many more years in my 1st house?

Hell, yeah!

Collide live    Still with me? Thank you if you read this entire story! This soulful version of the song , complete with a string section , is performed on the Dave Letterman show a few months before my experience. Notice how he mentions this track was mysteriously re-released?( and coincided with my awakening) Collide is the backdrop for that feeling of awakening and I was also re-released! Please click the link above ( Collide live) and feel the bliss.

related posts ~ if you read or re-read these posts again, you will better understand my muse….

https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/returning-home-the-series/

https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/06/18/poetry-the-wind/

https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/06/26/before-midnight-ill-love-you-long-after-youre-gone-gone-gone/

Tomorrow: January 31st,  Michael – http://navigator1965.wordpress.com

artwork by the transcendent Josephine Wall

Quick update: Funny how the time/space continuum likes to play with us. I chose these Josephine Wall images weeks ago in anticipation of this post. I used the top one, The Key to Eternity, as the primary image to capture the essence of my story. Notice the owl beside the purple rose? Well, the night before I completed and published this tale, I went to the dining room to draw down the shades and spotted what looked like a large ball of ice on my terrace railing. It seemed so out of place. Upon further inspection , the ice ball was in fact a large bird. It turned around to face me and I saw that it was an owl. I have never seen one up close before! It was amazing how it turned around to make my acquaintance, then swiftly turned back around and flew off with the most strong majestic wings. It reminded me of an eagle in flight. I take this as a sign that the universe approved of  my image selection and my awakening story.

1st     Barbara  – http://memymagnificentself.wordpress.com
2nd    Paddy    – http://paddypicasso.wordpress.com
3rd     Emanuel- http://emantable.com/musings-of-a-table/
6th     Julianne – http://juliannevictoria.com
7th     Sarah     – http://theskycladwriter.wordpress.com
8th     Shree     – http://heartsongsblog.wordpress.com
9th     Dace      – http://mywaytotruth.wordpress.com
10th   Korinn    – http://www.korinn.com
11th   Sindy     – http://bluebutterfliesandme.wordpress.com
12th   Stefanie – http://dancingwithstefanie.com
13th   Mick      – http://meticulousmick.wordpress.com
14th
15th   Megan   – http://mychroniclifejourney.wordpress.com
16th   Pat         – http://patinspire.org
17th   Marga    – http://lifeasimprov.com
18th   Kimberley – http://kimberlyharding.wordpress.com
19th
20th
21st   Heather     – http://wildflowerwomen.wordpress.com
22nd
23rd    Sue          – http://suedreamwalker.wordpress.com
24th    M…          – http://seeingm.wordpress.com
25th    Brian G    – http://middlepane.com
26th    Dotta       – http://dottaraphels.wordpress.com
27th    CW          – http://sunflowerrosecw.wordpress.com
28th    Laurie       – http://lauriesnotes.wordpress.com
29th    Debra       – http://ptero9.com
30th    Linda        – https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com
31st    Michael     – http://navigator1965.wordpress.com
February
1st      Leigh        – http://bluegrassnotes.wordpress.com
2nd     Shaman   – http://shamanictracking.com
3rd     Joss         – http://crowingcrone.com
4th     Jenna       – http://jennadee222.wordpress.com
5th     Shelley     – http://livingwithshadows.wordpress.com
6th     Elisabeth  – http://almostspring.com
7th     Michael    – http://embracingforever.com
8th

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