I have been putting pressure on myself to write about the imminent eclipses and cardinal cross that will make this April unlike any other. I want to give my readers what they want and put my personal stamp on these celestial turning points. Yet I am too busy feeling the energies to actually put 2 coherent thoughts together!
So for now I am putting that aside to write about TODAY. How do I describe today?
Yes, today is a tornado. I woke up after a restless night with major digestive issues ( nuff said). My body is still healing from surgery and Dexter is improving but not back to baseline yet. I had a meeting this morning in a part of the city we call The Great Northeast. I was exhausted and overwhelmed after the meeting and longed to get home. As I made my way around this part of Philly I realized how much fun I had working there in the 1980s. While many of the landmarks are gone, the streets are the same and the familiar names evoked memories. I took an unfamiliar route home and ended up in another county! My usually impeccable sense of direction was off kilter and I kept encountering construction, road blocks, detours, and thought perhaps a tornado had tossed me into Kansas! Saturn is calling and I want to let his call go directly to voicemail. Ever have one of those dreams that you are driving and you end up off the beaten track and the background keeps getting stranger and stranger? But I was awake!
When I got home, I settled down to watch American Idol. I do love my singing competition shows. The music soothes me and helps me unleash the emotional “Remains of the Day.” Tonite was 80s theme night. I love 80s music because it takes me back to my youth, and the distinctive theatrical tone to so many of the compositions and music videos mimic my confusing passage into full tilt adulthood. I began to think about how confused and unbalanced I felt at my meeting and driving home. I felt so lost and exhausted and overwhelmed, but yet exhilarated all at the same time. I am so grateful that nowadays I only feel that way occasionally.
It felt like I was being swept back into a time where I had to make decisions with no safety net and just hope for the best. I often stumbled and fell. But I kept getting back up because I was full of life and hope. As Pluto prepares to station on my natal Saturn, I realize that so many of the structures I worked so hard to build have evaporated…..
Then two of the Idol contestants sang a duet that unleashed my tears. It is Knew You Were Waiting. This tune is about perseverance and faith in the face of adversity in the search for destiny. That George Michael sure can emote…
Enjoy a song that reminds me that I survived my youth and I will survive today: