A House is Not a Home

Thanks to the magic of Google maps, I do not have to take a new image to show my childhood home. I lived here from the end of 6th grade through junior year of college. The house was white with light blue trim originally but my parents decided on a chocolate brown upgrade.

I recently learned that my mother sold our house to move into an older adult apartment community, aka retirement place where people go to die community. I know this is strong language, but I am speaking my truth. She has wanted to sell even before my dad died, over 10 years ago. I do not know if I will get the chance to see it in-person one last time before she vacates.

Here’s the thing: I spent most of my childhood in various apartments in four states from birth to age 11. I had 4 homes from 2nd through 6th grade, including going to two different schools in separate states for both 5th and 6th grades. We finally “settled down ” when I was 11 as my parents purchased this modest home in a predominantly affluent housing development. It is the only house I ever lived in, with a yard and separation from neighbors. This meant privacy and less noise ( outside of my family dramas). Why my parents could not wait for the summer to move says way more about how I was parented then anything else. My moon in Gemini in the fourth house would speak to the frequent disruptions, but damn, my dad was not in the military!

This ordinary suburban split level structure was filled with drama, kind of like Game of Thrones, but without the dragons or intriguing character arcs. It contained plenty of power plays, betrayals, and arguments. I would not call it a happy home. But a house is not a home.

I have not as of yet lived in a house as an adult. My homes have all been apartments. While my current home is fine, it is small and a bit crowded with stuff because of insufficient storage space. Maybe this is partly why I am having some difficulty letting my old house go. This is a place, mind you, that I rarely visited once I moved away. I could not wait to get out of there and told myself I would not return. My sister did live there a few years after college, but I did not.

The therapist part of me knows that I still want to ” reclaim my childhood” before letting go of the house. I have done as much inner work as I can on this. When I consider the fond memories, they are overshadowed by darkness, with one exception.

That would be the music.

My mom plays piano well and this gift was passed down from her father who learned by ear. I don’t know how he was exposed to the piano, but he did play in the silent movie theaters, so I am told. The house was warm with emotion when my mom sang and played on many an evening. She lit up completely while playing. I believe she was born to play. She says the piano is going with her to the new place.

Google maps has made it possible for me to move on even if I cannot find time for a visit before the place is packed up or occupied by the new residents. I hope they make it a house filled with love. When or if they have children ( it is a young couple), I pray they figure out how to parent them well, or well enough. Maybe then they won’t all grow up to be therapists and heal others as a way to address their unhealed parts.

I am afraid this post is coming off rather bitter, but this is not my intention. I am still figuring out why I am bothered so much by this event. I can understand why my mother wants to live among people her age and have activities and transportation at her disposal. All I know is that I feel sad and a bit confused.

I am well aware that home is inside me, at the seat of my soul. A house is a structure made up of matter, which is not solid. I don’t remember my family being that messed up until we moved in. Perhaps it had to do with my parents’ entrance into middle age and the state of the marriage. I don’t know.

What I do know is that I will continue living life the best I know how, with faith that I can find joy and peace within. And some sweet music wouldn’t hurt either.

wikipedia.org public domain

Poseidon Adventure

The Pisces full moon this past Wednesday was quite intense because Neptune was conjunct the moon at the time. Considering that Mercury was at the Solar Eclipse degree for this lunation at 28 Leo, the Eclipse was triggered. Take Neptune, the eclipse and a Pisces full moon, add a sprinkle of climate change ( trying to add a little levity here) and you have one hell of a deluge coming your way.

Hurricane Irma is pummeling Florida as we speak. The damage it is creating is historic both in scope and magnitude. Before hitting Florida, Irma made contact with Barbuda, St. Maarten, the Bahamas, the Virgin Islands and Cuba. Barbuda is decimated and St. Maarten is not in much better shape. This current storm is happening  just a couple of weeks after Hurricane Harvey ravaged Houston and surrounding areas.

My heart goes out to all those who are suffering and all the people devoted to rescue and recovery. I have family in Florida and a few blogger friends as well. I keep praying for their safety.

Many memories  flooded back to me as I watched some of the media coverage:

Trekking all over the terrain of St. Maarten with my family as a teen. Spending New Year’s Eve at this amazing restaurant on the French Side.

Walking Collins Avenue with my friends looking for adventure. Strolling along Lincoln Road with my mom and grandmom. Miami Beach was her home for most of my life and we spent almost every Christmas visiting my mother’s side of the family in South Florida. My first plane ride was as a toddler to Miami.  I have seen scores of black and white pictures of myself with my cousins at their house. Biscayne Boulevard, South Beach, Fort Lauderdale, yup I’ve been there.

Spring break on my senior high school trip to Daytona Beach and Disney World was quite an excursion. Sneaking into a disco underage with my friends, good times!  I had already been to Orlando a couple of times, but it was so much cooler being on your own with friends at age seventeen  ( there were teachers as chaperones, but..) .

Viewing cheesy home movies of my mother as a young woman surrounded by Flamingos in Nassau. My parents visited here shortly after they were married.

Driving from New Jersey to Tampa with my friend and her sister was quite an adventure. After our arrival, I then flew from Tampa to Miami to spend time with my aunt and uncle, my cousins, and my grandma. It was the first time I took a major road trip and traveled on a plane by myself. It was so wonderful to really bond with my cousins and my grandmother.  After all, I only saw them occasionally throughout the years. I still can taste the exotic foods served at the Cuban pig roast feast. Yucca, plantains, and lots of anticipation of a bright new year. I always loved hearing Spanish being spoken on my visits and how my dad would often be mistaken for Cuban by the natives. But that will be covered in a later post….

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. I love this area and I have roots here. But the thing is, we all  have roots everywhere. Blogging has widened my circle and I know people practically all over this beautiful planet. Many of us have expanded our circles through social media over the years. But even before that, we as people are one people. Energetically speaking, there are no real boundaries between us. How many more disasters ( etymological translation is “ill-starred” ) do we need to endure before the realization hits that we have to solve our differences and heal the divisions so we can ultimately heal Gaia? So many have predicted devastation to coastal areas for this timeline. Is it inevitable? I don’t agree.

We can transform our reality.

 

I added some movie disaster songs. They are poignant and inspiring:

 

Let’s love ourselves and one another. We can transcend challenging transits or eclipses or futile division. Neptunian energy can be associated with many things. As the higher octave of Venus, Neptune epitomizes Spiritual Love.

 

Interested in learning more about your astro-forecast? Contact me here.

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images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Tomorrowland ~ Can we have more George Jetson and less Goofy?

fair use wikipedia.org

 
I thought that if you loved Heroes and  Disney theme parks, you would adore Tomorrowland. I thought wrong.

Wait! – Don’t go anywhere, the review isn’t over. I just had to tell you right off that this was not exactly a trip of a lifetime. There are some worthwhile scenes and intriguing questions that make excellent takeaways. Let’s just say that George Lucas has nothing to worry about.

The trailer is what got me going. Touch an archaic pin and enter another dimension. Yes, ascension courtesy of the Disney Corporation. Well, not so fast.

Tomorrowland is a science fiction fantasy film based on the futuristic section of Disney theme parks. The action begins when a young boy rides a greyhound bus to Flushing Meadows to visit the 1964 World’s Fair. I was so excited to revisit my childhood on the big screen. He hitches a ride on A Small World’s boat and things get woo woo. For a few seconds I was reliving one of my earliest memories sailing into this beautiful global paradise. Then mayhem and hijinks ensue.

I will break it down into pros and cons and then you can decide if its worth your time and money.

Pros:

The acting is very good. George Clooney is perfect in the lead and the newcomers are engaging.

The special effects are top-notch.

The juxtaposition of past and future is interesting.

Ideas such as time travel, creativity, optimism versus apathy, the power of imagination, are well illustrated.

There are a few truly funny moments and emotional exchanges.

Cons:

I was not sure if I was viewing a grownup film or something a young Lindsay Lohan would star in. (Raffey Cassidy reminds me of a young Ms. Lohan.)

There was too much slapstick and not enough future. There was very little footage of this enigmatic future world. With such a big budget, it is curious why most of the action took place in every day 2014ish America.

The plot was disjointed and very slow-moving.

Just like the movie’s premise, so much potential but a disappointing delivery.

 
I am glad I saw the film because it made me think about popular culture’s impact on how we see our planet. It just wasn’t the film I was expecting, based on the trailer I viewed and the accompanying hype. Please let me know your opinion. We enjoy robust discussions and healthy debates here at litebeing chronicles.

The good news is that a new Star Wars is coming out later this year and that the future is not fixed in stone.

image credit: wikipedia.org fair use

Girls and Women through Time

Yeah it’s me again, using all the Throwback Mercury mojo to bring you more blasts from the past. Libra is stirring me back to art again, with the help of my mother this time. My mother is a talented musician who always loved history and culture. She can play piano beautifully and can do so by ear, a trait she inherited from her father. She also sings very well.  She adored school  and was an excellent student, but was not permitted to go to college. Her brother was sent instead while she worked to help support her parents’ household. She still talks about this disappointment to this day. My mother has lived a very traditional life , going from her family home  straight to marriage and children. While she did work off and on, she never had a career. Both of her children – daughters, have advanced degrees and careers. Both of her grandchildren – girls, are clever, bright, inquisitive, and determined. One of them has been recognized for both her writing and her artistic projects!  My mom once dreamed of being a fashion designer. She loved to sketch, yet she has not drawn anything ( that I am aware of ) in ages.

While introducing both myself and my sister to the piano proved futile, her artistic passion carries on in me. It was her aunt and uncle who indulged me with art supplies and made me feel less alone in the world. My mother’s love of history and art came together in this coloring book she gave to me. I believe we both colored different dolls in the book. It was something we could do together.

While I have not seen the book since early childhood, I found it on the internet. This was not easy, since I did not recall the title or author. But clearly my tenacity paid off:

 

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Which doll is your favorite?

 

I am so excited that I was able to bring this book brimming with joyful memories back to life. I often imagined myself wearing the exquisite period outfits. Some of my readers will chuckle to notice that the book included a native american doll as well!

My mother and I have little in common and she would wholeheartedly agree with me. (Her chart is predominantly fire and earth , featuring 4 planets in Aries and a Sun Mars Uranus Aries stellium.)  What we do share is creativity, addiction to books, a strong spirit and a kind heart. She also had the same complicated relationship with her own mother, who was more of a non-conformist. My grandmother, who may not have finished school, was also a voracious reader! Her North Node in Gemini lands precisely on my moon and she  used it well. She was such a whiz with cards and played a mean scrabble too.

I also honor the various roles women have enacted throughout history. Our diversity is our strength but our sisterhood is our birthright. We as women can do so much more united than divided.

Let’s care for one another.

 I am so grateful that the love of art is alive in me and my niece. I cannot wait to see how my nieces grow and develop into young women. They mean the world to me.  Please cherish the little girls in your life. They often grow up to become women who will birth others ( children, animals, ideas) into being.

Please listen to this soulful tune by Libra John Mayer. He may be singing about you. He clearly was singing about me …

Daughters

Linda Ronstadt and Me

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I looked just like this as a teen.

 

I wanted to post this in time for her birthday, but time got away from me. Yet it is never too late to acknowledge the brilliance of Linda Ronstadt.

Summer always reminds me of my time at the shore as a teenager. My teen years always remind me of music. When I was a teen, Linda Ronstadt’s music was very popular. People always told me that I reminded them of her.  And they were correct…

I cannot sing a lick, although I spent many an hour as a teen singing in the mirror with a hairbrush as my mike. I was quite flattered when people compared me to Linda. We are both named Linda and I did wear bangs at one time and I do still occasionally favor hoop earrings. What is most striking is how the shape of our faces, coloring ,long dark hair and facial features bear an uncanny resemblance. While I was perusing images of her online, I was amazed at how eerily similar we look, while never at the same time. She is much older than I, and as we both aged, our likeness became less apparent. But even still, some of my current photos do still bear an obvious similarity.

What brought Linda Ronstadt to my awareness recently was her induction into the 2014 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The HBO concert was spectacular and  I blogged about Cat Stevens’ performance here. Linda did not show up at the ceremony, probably because these type of events are not a priority and due to her recent diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease. I was saddened to hear about her poor health which has affected her ability to sing. Glenn Frey’s speech at the concert was very moving and the images of her performing made me smile and tear up simultaneously. Linda and I come from similar ethnic backgrounds and that became obvious as her story was shared on stage. We both share  a Latin ( I am Italian and she is Mexican) and Western European heritage. It somewhat explains how our ancestry informed our physical appearance and identity. I write about my identity here.

Naturally I read her chart to see why we look so similar. She has Sag rising, which does not jive with my chart. However her Sun in Cancer gives her a lunar appearance ( round face) and my Moon trines my ascendant. More significant is that Neptune squares her ascendant ( as does mine) and Uranus opposes it as well, adding a strong Aquarian vibe to her persona ( matching my Aquarius ascendant). This would help explain some her luminous, ethereal presence ( Neptune) and her striking image ( Uranus).

For more on her chart, visit here.

While I found these linkages helpful, I was looking for something more… Why do we look so much alike and have the same first name and why did I look the most like her when she rose to prominence? Her north and south nodes are conjunct my Moon and exactly conjunct Venus respectively. This may indicate some past life or spiritual connections that bring her into my consciousness so strongly. I cannot prove any linkage, but …..

Since I do not post my picture on my blog, you can visualize Linda Ronstadt when you read my posts. Oh how I wish I was blessed with a voice that contains even a fraction of her beauty and grace. Fortunately I can always play her music and revel in her pioneering spirit that paved the way for so many women in music, and her ability to use her vocal gifts to transcend stereotyping and move across genres.

 

Here are some videos that I hope you’ll enjoy.

The first one has a great sampling of images of Linda:

 

 

I love this song and this performance is particularly unique. And we look almost identical here, kinda spooky!

 

Here is some of the music from the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame concert shown on HBO.

 

 

image credit ~ amazon.com fair use

Musings ~ Tornado

I have been putting pressure on myself to write about the imminent eclipses and cardinal cross that will make this April unlike any other. I want to give my readers what they want and put my personal stamp on these celestial turning points. Yet I am too busy feeling the energies to actually put 2 coherent thoughts together!

So for now I am putting that aside to write about TODAY. How do I describe today?

 

wikimedia free domain

Yes, today is a tornado. I woke up after a restless night with major digestive issues ( nuff said). My body is still healing from surgery and Dexter is improving but not back to baseline yet. I had a meeting this morning in a part of the city we call The Great Northeast. I was exhausted and overwhelmed after the meeting and longed to get home. As I made my way around this part of Philly I realized how much fun I had working there in the 1980s. While many of the landmarks are gone, the streets are the same and the familiar names evoked memories. I took an unfamiliar route home and ended up in another county! My usually impeccable sense of direction was off kilter and I kept encountering construction, road blocks, detours, and thought perhaps a tornado had tossed me into Kansas! Saturn is calling and I want to let his call go directly to voicemail.  Ever have one of those dreams that you are driving and you end up off the beaten track and the background keeps getting stranger and stranger? But I was awake!

When I got home, I settled down to watch American Idol. I do love my singing competition shows. The music soothes me and helps me unleash the emotional “Remains of the Day.” Tonite was 80s theme night. I love 80s music because it takes me back to my youth, and the distinctive theatrical tone to so many of the compositions and  music videos mimic my confusing passage into full tilt adulthood. I began to think about how confused and unbalanced I felt at my meeting and driving home. I felt so lost and exhausted and overwhelmed, but yet exhilarated all at the same time. I am so grateful that nowadays I only feel that way occasionally.

It felt like I was being swept back into a time where I had to make decisions with no safety net and just hope for the best. I often stumbled and fell. But I kept getting back up because I was full of life and hope. As Pluto prepares to station on my natal Saturn, I realize that so many of the structures I worked so hard to build have evaporated…..

Then two of the  Idol contestants sang a duet that unleashed my tears. It is Knew You Were Waiting. This tune is about perseverance  and faith in the face of adversity in the search for destiny. That George Michael sure can emote…

Enjoy a song that reminds me that I survived my youth and I will survive today:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBCWLhlJV0Y

Please weigh in on how you are feeling today.

How freaky is your world?

It can’t just be me!

 

image by wikimedia.org, public domain
imagebase.net

Musings – November Time Warp

http://www.imageafter.com/

I cannot let the beginning of November go by without a proper post. All the recent posts on Samhain and this current astrological wild ride we are on have been incredibly inspiring and I devoured each one with delight.  Currently I have been rather moody and spacey and somehow surprised at all the emotions and circumstances that I cannot control. Yet I am actually surprised that anything surprises me anymore! That is the cosmic curve ball, that I am still unaware of so much, despite my heightened psychic acuity. Who knew?

Still, I adore November which was originally the 9th month on the Julian calendar. Makes sense right? After all, November literally means 9th month. The Julian year began on March 25th which is very close to the Spring Equinox. When the transition was made from the Julian to the Gregorian system, November became the 11th month. I prefer the original sequence because November is a time of endings and beginnings and 9 is a better fit. Eight would also coincide well with the Scorpion vibration, but 9 is one of my favorite numbers so ….

reference ~ http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Old_Style_and_New_Style_dates

I am actually adjusting a bit more to this current cycle and had an amazing experience yesterday. I knew I would have material eventually to put into a future Collisions post. This one will definitely be a mind blower, trust me!

I am not a fan of Halloween or cemeteries or horror films at all! I do not like to be frightened or spooked for fun, not my thing. Life can be horrifying naturally , why add to it? I did dress up as a child, mainly to get candy and conform a little bit , and do remember a few enjoyable soirees as a young adult. That said, I just prefer seeing people without masks.  Which is maybe why I became a therapist, hehe..  Yet I adore The Rocky Horror Picture Show and have many glorious memories of viewing the midnight shows. I went often with my college crew. We would either have dinner beforehand at The Magic Pan or grab cheesesteaks at Jim’s after the show.  We always went to the legendary TLA theater on South Street. We did not dress up, but we threw the rice and screamed out all the catch phrases and songs. Chicken divan crepes or gooey cheesesteaks with whiz, a great group of  buddies, and the spectacular Tim Curry, Susan Sarandon ( before she was famous), and Meatloaf.

It does not get much better than this.

The TLA no longer shows movies and this is a shame. When I moved to Philly and got my own place, I would hang up the free TLA posters in psychedelic turquoise and fuchsia on the walls and became educated about independent cinema. My horizons were becoming expanded  and there was no going back. The genie was out of the bottle. I recall spending one birthday viewing Siddhartha at midnight with friends. South Street was so electric at night with its funky stores, fabulous clubs, unusual restaurants and a festive, exciting vibe.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Commons:Wikis_Take_Philadelphia http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

So which  Rocky Horror memory has endured over the years? The Time Warp Song. From the time my sister blasted it from her room, up until now ( saved on my DVR),  this  iconic tune has remained a constant because it is just simply addictive! Plus it showcases playing with time, one of my favorite pastimes. I think this film and my associations with it were a precursor to my fascination with the space-time continuum.

If you have not read my timeless tunes post, NOW is a great time to review: https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/06/10/timeless-tunes-updated/   Let me know your favorites! I am sure I have missed some goodies.

Just remember – ” Don’t dream it, BE IT!! “

This post is dedicated to Marie ( whose birthday is today), Randy, Janet, Esther, and the rest of the gang from Temple, woohoo! I can still taste the cheesesteaks and hear our laughter , even today..

Update: For my American viewers, do not forget to set the clocks back an hour tonight before going to bed for the end of Daylight Savings Time and the resumption of Standard Time. Yet another example of a (highly structured)  time warp! One extra hour to enjoy the Double Scorpio energies..

spiral image courtesy of  http://www.imageafter.com/

TLA image  http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Commons:Wikis_Take_Philadelphia http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

curious about cheesesteaks? http://www.visitphilly.com/restaurants-dining/authentic-philly-cheesesteaks/