Life keeps getting stranger and I do not expect this to change anytime soon. Case in point, about 5 weeks ago I was watching Real Time with Bill Maher. He does a segment called New Rules at the end of each episode. This theme was about America’s 250th Anniversary. He was talking about his take on 1976, our last major celebration. Imagine my amazement when I see this image on my screen :
Compare this to the image of my childhood home featured on a previous post:
By the way I lived in this house in 1976! So I will make lemonade yet again after getting my mind blown by discussing the intersection of home and forming relationships. This themes match well with tomorrow’s Solar Eclipse at 20 degrees Leo ( on my descendant which focuses on partnerships ( and Uranus’s recent transit into the sign of Gemini. This coincides with Uranus partile on my IC as of now, along with my Progressed Ascendant also currently at 5 degrees Gemini. Good to know that 5 is the number of change!
So let’s travel back in time briefly to 1973 or so. My family would spend each Christmas holiday down in Florida to visit my mother’s family. I would spend some of this time at the hotel cabana perfecting my pinball game while listening to the jukebox. The same songs would play over and over. One of them was Brandy by Looking Glass. I spent several vacations at this same hotel until we started to venture off to the Caribbean in later years. I first heard this song around age 12 or so. It is about a woman Brandy who is in love with a man who cannot marry her although he loves her. He is a sailor and she falls in love with his stories about his travels. For reasons I still do not fully understand, I was enchanted with this song. I imagined being this lonely woman who ” loved a man who’s not around. ” I recall strongly understanding this dynamic and yet at this age I did not know of romantic dynamics.
Upon reflection some of the pieces began to make sense. I spent my formative years moving from school to school and state to state until age eleven. We went from NY to PA to Connecticut to NJ. I was in 3 different elementary schools, including 2 5th grade classes and 2 6th grade classes across 3 different states ( PA, Conn, and NJ ). I was continually on the move, leaving friends behind and unfinished. I was forever the new girl. Mostly it sucked. Once I was given to chance to return to Reading Pa to visit some of my friends. That was fun yet everyone else was left in the dust, except for the few pen pals I acquired. The funny thing was that when you keep moving, the focus has to switch from those you leave behind to those you are about to meet. There was no internet, cell phones or social media. Long distance calls were costly. Would I be remembered by those I left behind? Later I began to ask what about those who left me behind? How memorable are we really?
I constantly had to fit in with these new peers. I really struggled. While there was the sense of adventure that was exciting, I never felt settled. I have the moon in Gemini in the 4th house of foundation and roots. This translated to home being internal rather than external. Great for yogis but not 8 year old girls. So many timeline disruptions and very little grounding.
I have discussed this topic with a few fellow Gemini moons. They were already fixated on the concept of home, even before I broached the topic of our moon placements. One of these folks had a radically different take and it left me somewhat stunned. It was the idea that when you relocate your life can change simply by choosing the right environment with no baggage. What? I do respect the practice of Astro cartography but I do not think it tracks when you are not given a choice of location. For me I always take with me whatever has not been made conscious and sufficiently healed. Others talk about the perpetual search for home. I really enjoy travel but that does not replace the need for security and reliability.
My ability to attach was compromised but I did my best. A few years later I left home and became my own person. I began to meet men who were well traveled and eventually noticed a pattern. Connections would often begin or end once these men would either return from or move to a new location. In my late teens I stopped seeing a guy once he moved back to Delaware. then in my early twenties I started dating a man who recently returned home from living in India. After that I stopped seeing a man because he abruptly moved to Atlanta. Later I started dating a man after he relocated from travels around the US. After we broke up he hit the road again. I met Rick aka Birthday boy after he returned to Philly from Seattle. Then came James, who returned back to PA after living in Brazil. I used to have a book on Astrology and Relationships that mentioned trends based on one’s birthday. Mine said good fortune would come with meeting partners who just returned from a trip. I am not kidding. This statement gave me pause.
It is such a wild dynamic to experience both sides of the coin. I realize that in modern times many people do relocate. However this feels soulful to me that I was re -experiencing the Gemini Sagittarius polarity with short and long distance travel. It beings me back to the song Brandy. I am not saying I have become the woman in the song but that I was getting a glimpse of my future ( and perhaps my past ). Many of the important men in my life are either deceased now or live really far away. This also includes a close male friend who recently moved abroad. Many of these folks I have never seen again since they left. There are exceptions but my adult life has not been filled with much travel. I do still light up hearing about adventures as well as sharing my own. I actually did once meet a man who was a sailor. He was not a love interest but we became rather close and his stories reminded me of the song.
I want to include that my moon in Gemini opposes my Venus in Sagittarius. Essentially that means that my emotional body and my heart both long for variety, adventure, motion, and the exotic. I would not change my moon or my Venus placements. I would be oh soo heavy and intense and more relentless without them. And yet I sometimes wish we stayed in the place I was born and figured out that timeline. Every time you go somewhere new, you blow up a timeline. I did not like suburban NJ and still feel the same. The other 3 states were much more interesting. Suburban southern New Jersey is entitled vanilla. I am not saying I would ever want to lose the wonderful friends I made while living there. Never would I feel that way. It is just that Brandy is still working in that bar waiting for her man to come back to the port. Sometimes we never return.
I will keep searching for home. I moved to the PA suburbs 3 years ago this month. It does not feel like home and I do not think I will remain here. In the meantime I can be grateful for all the wisdom I continue to soak up because I am truly showing up for myself.
I am still hopeful about this eclipse being at the very least, interesting. Its just that all this change is frying my brain. Thank God it has been great for my creativity. Here’s to Leo, the sign of romance, identity, creativity, drama, and star power.
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