Welcome to my World

wikipedia public domain

Two posts in one day! Well, I promised I ‘d be back soon so here I am. About five years ago I was diagnosed with Diverticulitis. There have been many different symptom presentations, multiple ER and hospital stays, numerous medications, way too many opinions, and lots of medical bills. I hoped that certain astrological transits would end my misery, but no clear pattern so far. I have enjoyed some long periods between attacks, along with several multiple episodes within days or weeks. I am experiencing a relapse today and have had about 4 episodes since Thanksgiving 2019.

I have learned so many things about myself and my body since then. In some ways, I am healthier and wiser. Stress is a strong trigger for me, often recognizable in the form of compulsive negative fear-based thoughts. I am a therapist, so trust me I know how this works.

But I did not return tonight to talk about my stressors. This planet is enveloped in stress right now. I rather emphasize the importance of becoming more flexible. I had to cancel attending a friend’s wedding right after my first episode and I waited until almost the last minute to decide. I was angry and sad and it sucked. But as time went on, I became adept at canceling plans and staying home. Eventually, resentment waned and I surrendered to my new reality. I told myself I will be present for all the events that I am supposed to attend. I will see the people I need to see and do the work I was placed here to do. I am not driving this train, but I can make the best of my situation. I actually enjoy my own company and adore reading, writing, listening to music, watching compelling TV or film, etc. Yet I realize that this situation is more than a mere recuperation period.

In the last couple of weeks, I have been teaching gratitude practice to my clients. In fact, I have been a bit relentless. I know I am teaching what I need to learn. We all have so much to be grateful for at any given moment and I truly believe that our perception of gratitude multiplies in direct proportion to a sustained gratitude practice.

How do I know this?

I am blessed to have two lovely nieces that are shining stars. I have been texting them to keep up with their news. The other day I was asking Lily how she has been keeping busy and she was excited to talk about all her passions. She is eleven years old. I asked her to show me some of her art. The piece above is the first one she shared with me. There are no coincidences here!

 

Split Sky

Lily gave me permission to post here and use her first name. I love the title split sky. I see it as significant in terms of how we process crisis. I am grateful for these wonderful souls who are full of love and energy. I am also grateful that I can work remotely from home. I am super grateful I can postpone paying taxes for a while. I will have more food now that I am eating less due to illness. I am over the moon that I got the last package of toilet paper while picking up my medication today.

I will be honest, it is a bit worrisome that I relapsed so soon, but I am much more aware of this illness five years in. But I have learned that I am really so much stronger than I ever imagined and quite certain I signed up to come to Earth for these times. It does not mean I like it, but I AM here now.

Loose Ends:  I tend to be an excellent commenter, but lately I have not been able to keep up with responses to comments on some of my posts. Allow me to take my time with this. I adore all of your comments and have not forgotten you, but I need to take more time.

Spring starts in a few hours in litebeing’s world: I concluded that the equinox ( Spring or Fall depending on the hemisphere) should coincide with Saturn’s ingress into Aquarius at 11:58 PM EDT ( right before midnight). Saturn rules our cosmic weather in 2020 and where Saturn goes, we should follow! So I suggest some sort of ceremonial practice to acknowledge this major sea change. I plan to do a meditation and perhaps pull a few cards. Saturn was last in Aquarius in 1994 during the Clinton years and the beginning of the internet explosion. Perhaps that will give us a clue about what this new transit will bring. In the meantime, please send some prayers, some to me for my healing and many more to all of us as we learn to be flexible throughout this “global reset. ” We are truly all in this together.

I Applied to 200 Jobs and All I Got Was This Moderate-Severe Depression

Hey litebeings, I wondered onto Discover and landed on this insightful moving essay by the ubertalented ( not the taxi service uber) Athena. While this reblog might be off brand for litebeing chronicles, I was so drawn to it as someone who has endured so much suffering via unemployment and the job searches from Hell. Although I am certainly not a Millenial, Athena’s desire to be her authentic self and not be homeless while waiting tugs at my heartstrings. My desire is for some of my readers to reblog her post and help her get closer to finding the career that is waiting for her somewhere. ❤

Bertha Mason's Attic

“And when everything else is gone, you can be rich in loss.”

– Rebecca Solnit, A Field Guide to Getting Lost

About Me, Your Friendly Neighborhood Millennial:

I was your garden-variety smart kid, shuffled through GATE programs of every type from kindergarten onward. In sixth grade, I left the classroom in the afternoons to study Latin roots with our school’s principal for the spelling bee circuit. As you can probably imagine, I was bullied a lot (Apparently, no one likes a first-grader who says “in addition to” instead of “and.”). I went to a competitive high school near Silicon Valley, where– with my AP courses– I had a 4.0 cumulative GPA, but was not in the top 10% of my class.

After getting summarily rejected from the Ivies, I went to a small university in Oregon, where I worked harder than I thought possible to graduate a year early with…

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Lucky litebeing ~ published on 7-7-14

This one’s for you, Anthony Bourdain!  RIP

litebeing chronicles

Welcome to my world!

This quote is the first line from the food show that started it all, A Cook’s Tour with Anthony Bourdain. There are some people you like right away and Anthony is one of those in my world. I considered his influence on me immediately last Saturday when I had an incredibly blessed and lucky day that involved food, film, and fancy.

By WNYC New York Public Radio. Cropped and edited by Daniel Case (Anthony Bourdain and Leonard Lopate) [CC-BY-2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Tony is not only a gifted television personality on multiple networks, but  a supremely talented writer, chef, foodie, philosopher and adventurer. Here is an excerpt from his book A Cook’s Tour,  from which the television show was based:

I wanted magic.  When is food magic?  What are the common denominators? Certainly. when food is the result of a brilliant  and obsessive personal vision, it can take on mystical, magical aspects. At their best, chefs like to consider themselves alchemists, and some of them, particularly…

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Glove Story

I have been spending the past few weeks honing my creative therapy skills by helping my clients dive into their emotional landscapes via music, visual arts, and writing.  This is not particularly new. I have used these modalities many times in my work as a therapist. But as a therapist who is now an active writer, this endeavor has taken some new turns.

The more I delve into my clients’ lives, the more I question my own. The mirroring that I observe is both miraculous and ordinary. If you visit here often, you know that the miraculous and ordinary usually represent the same experience for me. For example, I have a new client who I was told can be difficult to connect with. I have not seen her through that lens. We engaged in some small talk initially, which led to her revelation about art. She repeatedly said that she is not good at art, but she loves viewing it and learning about it. ”  I don’t know why I love art, I just do!” We have connected so easily because of our shared love of art. I quickly noticed that I say the same thing to others: that I am not good at art, but am a huge fan of the craft. I realize that repeating that statement undermines my delight in making art and enjoying my process. Note to Self: Halt the judgement.

I use these creative modalities in order to help others access their emotional worlds and enhance their communication skills. This emphasis on self-expression has led me to analyze further my own unique process. What is driving me? Why do I need to write? Am I incomplete in some way until I release my essence on the written page? Reading Michael’s excellent offering yesterday inspired me further to conjure up a little something for you today. The Universe never fails in complementing my inner musings with outer evidence.

So let me share a small Glove Story with you:

I used to lose my wallet repeatedly or have it stolen. This happened in both dreamtime and while awake. I figured this had to do with a weak identity. When my wallet stopped being stolen or lost, I decided the identity misgivings were resolved. I also have lost many keys in both realms, tying this into mastery and autonomy. This association works for me. Earrings also go missing, leaving me with several solo earrings in my jewelry box. This seems less symbolic and more aerodynamic. Earrings fall off or get caught on things and slip away to earringland.

But then there’s the gloves….

steve-madden-colorblock-boyfriend-touch-gloves

I bought these oh-so-sweet gloves a few months ago. They dazzle with so many of my favorite colors, purple, gray, maroon, etc. They work so well with my plum jacket and black shawl. They are soft and warm and cozy. I have lost one glove at least three times since I first wore them. And every time I was able to retrace my steps and find the stray – until now. Tuesday night I discovered that one of the gloves was not in my jacket pocket. I was at a diner and began to search half of the entire diner, then my car, my office the next day ….  Nada.

Then I begin combing the office parking lot and the cafeteria where I ate on Tuesday. I also scaled the campus between said parking lot and cafeteria by car and foot. I discovered other sole ( soul)  gloves, but not mine. I even went back to the bathroom stall in aforementioned cafeteria. I later returned to the diner on Wednesday, again asking the same questions and receiving the same answers. Today I went back yet again to the lost and found. I even searched online to see if I could buy a new pair. They are all sold out. I called the store where I bought it and contacted the manufacturer. I also prayed for guidance.

I want my glove back. I do not know why I am so obsessed. I have other gloves that are nice. But they are not enough somehow. I told myself in a few weeks it will be much warmer ( heck it’s spring-like now!) and I will not need to wear gloves. I realize this is a frivolous, high-class problem. But something deeper lurks. Something is stirring within that leaves me sad and unsettled.

Maybe it would be different if I had made peace with my father before he died, or if I could have caught Dexter’s heart problem before it took his life, or if I remained in one neighborhood and school for my entire childhood, or if I was taught that I was always enough simply because IAM. But I wasn’t taught and it is not different.

This Glove Story has no ending. In fact, it has only begun to brew, like a fresh teabag covered in tepid water.

Art is My Medicine ~ Winter’s Bones Edition

Hey litebeings,

Winter is incredibly damp and frosty today, chilling me to the bone. It is high time for some art therapy to the rescue. Today’s featured art is by hishida shunso.

fallen-leaves-ochiba-1909

hydrangeas-1902-jpglarge

cat-and-plum-blossoms-1906

squirrel

autumn-landscape-with-colored-leaves-1899

1900-jpgblog

I was inspired by the muted colors and soft imagery, not to mention the hydrangea symbolism that reflects my Gravatar.

image credits ~ wikiart.org, public domain

Gemini Moon Magic

Here’s a treat for the non-astrologer. You may ask: What does Gemini moon even mean? How does it look, feel, operate? Here’s a gem from me and a couple of Gem moonbeams from last year that will give you a hint or two. Enjoy!

litebeing chronicles

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“Gem Moon Mandala” by AmandaSeesDreams of http://www.Dreamrly.com

Welcome to the collaborative lunations of Gemini moon pals, LitebeingDreamrly, and yours truly, The Ptero Card. Yesterday marked the Gemini / Sagittarius full moon of 2014, and through our mutual love of art and writing we’re combining our efforts for a few reflections on our experience of lunar Gemini in our natal astrological charts. Each of our contributions was produced independently, without consultation other than assigning the art work to Dreamrly, poetry to Litebeing and intuitive writing to me. We present here the fruits of our work which we hope enhance your own lunations, where ever they may take you.

The basis of astrology, an ancient wisdom practiced by nearly all pre-scientific cultures, comes from the understanding that external cosmological events have a corresponding affect on our interiority, because human disposition is a microcosm of the macrocosm, or, as the ancients say, “as above, so below.” I suspect…

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Could You Be Loved?

Hello litebeings!

I don’t know about you, but I have been feeling very lethargic the past few days. It could be the extreme heat or something more. But in the car on my way to pick up shrimp and crab fried rice, Could You Be Loved? immediately came on the radio.  I knew right then what I would be posting on today. The teachings of Matt Kahn are intensely percolating in the coffee pot of my consciousness. It is time to pour a cup for me and you to sip and savor. Be warned, it may taste mellow, but this blend has quite a kick!

Photo644Matt has coined the name Love Revolution and I am processing how to apply this ideal to my life. While he seems to negate the teachings of ACIM and Eckhart Tolle, I will love him anyway. For one thing, I do not see any disconnect between these messages of love and presence and his own, and he says to love whatever arises. I think the reason I am strongly resonating with Matt is his ability to communicate and model his teachings. He keeps it interesting and fresh and has a personality that I find engaging. He is more dynamic than many on the scene today and he seems to be really authentic.

He speaks of enlightenment and how it is not a goal, but the beginning. This reminds of the old zen saying Before enlightenment chop wood, carry water, after enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. Matt raises discussion of the end game. I never expected to become fully enlightened. I hoped for more mystical openings, but I also hoped for freedom and security. For me that means the freedom to pursue travel, new people, adventure… Security means peace of mind and complete grounding within my being. I did not expect complete realization or ascension while in this body. This 5D idea is really new to me. I was content with having a window into the true nature of existence and finding more ways for me to heal myself and the world. He and many like him really raise the stakes of this game.

Photo664 (1)I would recommend this series to those new to Matt Kahn and his philosophy of love. He emphatically insists that shadow work and constant clearing are over, very old-school. He practices loving all of creation as you interact with yourself, other people, and all other manifestations of existence. I have to take an extraordinary big picture perspective to see how this idea complements the purpose of form and creation. It is almost too big for me and I am a big picture person!

Check it out and please report back: the pleiadian prophecy

I must end this blog on a lighter note. This material is not for those on their first rodeo, at least I don’t think so. In any event, I really hope that these videos I mention generate a lively discussion. While I am aware that whatever I learned in the past is not relevant now, I sometimes long for the days when my circle and I would watch videos and have parties filled with music. These were the days pre-internet when a gathering meant everyone in the same place.  On one such occasion, this song was playing loudly and the energy was pulsating with love and promise.

Enjoy:

Moon in Pisces Kinda Mood

Photo812While watching a retrospective on David Letterman ( a very Mercury retro activity) the song Changes by David Bowie was playing during the final montage. Tears of joy and sadness were streaming down my face and I felt flooded with energy. The song is one of my all-time favorites and it triggered an emotional frenzy. I went with the tide and let the various colors of moods flow through me. I was enjoying the moment, drinking it in and letting it be.

Then I had an instant realization arise in me. I was aware of the gift of being so emotionally receptive AND having a place to express all my colors. I can use my sensitivity as a canvas for the world to paint on. Or just gaze at in wonder. Gratitude was dancing within me and I was on cloud 9.

Photo814Self-expression is a topic I write about often on this blog. The ability to communicate is precious and often obscured or underutilized. Society often frowns on self-expression, either directly or indirectly. Fortunately forums like this make it possible and affordable for virtually anyone ( virtually, get it? ) to drum up the courage to write a poem, post a photo, tell their story, create a recipe, tell a joke. In some ways, the product is less important than the process. The act of typing is so therapeutic in itself. Some have told me that I am so brave to have a blog. I don’t agree. I think it is bolder to hide oneself and take a chance that all will turn out alright in the end. It is so unhealthy to hide and pretend that living safely is enough. Bold is not always smart in this instance.

Boy will I miss David Letterman. But that is a subject for another time. No point in waiting for sharing this video though: changes

Funny how I hated changing when I became enamored with this song. It became my theme song, if people actually have theme songs. Now I am more at peace with change. It really is the only healthy way to do this beinginabody thing.

If you wonder what a moon in Pisces feels like, I would suggest you reread this post, listen to the video link, or gaze upon another photo, like the one below.

Photo581

Tomorrowland ~ Can we have more George Jetson and less Goofy?

fair use wikipedia.org

 
I thought that if you loved Heroes and  Disney theme parks, you would adore Tomorrowland. I thought wrong.

Wait! – Don’t go anywhere, the review isn’t over. I just had to tell you right off that this was not exactly a trip of a lifetime. There are some worthwhile scenes and intriguing questions that make excellent takeaways. Let’s just say that George Lucas has nothing to worry about.

The trailer is what got me going. Touch an archaic pin and enter another dimension. Yes, ascension courtesy of the Disney Corporation. Well, not so fast.

Tomorrowland is a science fiction fantasy film based on the futuristic section of Disney theme parks. The action begins when a young boy rides a greyhound bus to Flushing Meadows to visit the 1964 World’s Fair. I was so excited to revisit my childhood on the big screen. He hitches a ride on A Small World’s boat and things get woo woo. For a few seconds I was reliving one of my earliest memories sailing into this beautiful global paradise. Then mayhem and hijinks ensue.

I will break it down into pros and cons and then you can decide if its worth your time and money.

Pros:

The acting is very good. George Clooney is perfect in the lead and the newcomers are engaging.

The special effects are top-notch.

The juxtaposition of past and future is interesting.

Ideas such as time travel, creativity, optimism versus apathy, the power of imagination, are well illustrated.

There are a few truly funny moments and emotional exchanges.

Cons:

I was not sure if I was viewing a grownup film or something a young Lindsay Lohan would star in. (Raffey Cassidy reminds me of a young Ms. Lohan.)

There was too much slapstick and not enough future. There was very little footage of this enigmatic future world. With such a big budget, it is curious why most of the action took place in every day 2014ish America.

The plot was disjointed and very slow-moving.

Just like the movie’s premise, so much potential but a disappointing delivery.

 
I am glad I saw the film because it made me think about popular culture’s impact on how we see our planet. It just wasn’t the film I was expecting, based on the trailer I viewed and the accompanying hype. Please let me know your opinion. We enjoy robust discussions and healthy debates here at litebeing chronicles.

The good news is that a new Star Wars is coming out later this year and that the future is not fixed in stone.

image credit: wikipedia.org fair use

March is Mosaic Month

I made this up. I don’t know which month is Mosaic month. Perhaps I could petition the committee who decides such matters. I just want to share some mosaics with you! The unity consciousness in art theme cannot be complete without allowing the mosaics to have their very own post. There is something so organic about this technique. My trip to Italy really solidified my passion for all things tile. Enjoy the variety and splendor before you:

wikiart.org

wikiart.org

wikiart.org

ditto

wikipedia ditto

Apse_mosaic_SM_Maggioreditto

ditto

I had to leave the zodiac piece for last..

Enjoy your weekend and make time for artistry. It can bring some color to the bland and some dazzle to the drab.

related post: https://litebeing.com/2014/10/17/recycling-mirrors/

image credits: images 1-3; wikiart.org, public domain 
header image and images 4-8; wikipedia.org, public domain