Tangled up in Blue is one of my favorite songs on one of my favorite albums ( Blood on the Tracks) by one of my favorite artists, the enigmatic poet Bob Dylan. As I deconstruct my dream life, alternate lives, and this present waking state in preparation for my challenge contribution, this phrase presented itself. The song is a gem and conjures up many memories for me. It would be prominent in the soundtrack of my life if my life was a feature film. Clearly it would be independent and somewhat artsy…
Tonight I literally feel tangled up in blue so I will let my art selection express my narrative for me. Immersing myself in time travel and the Mercury retrograde in Libra re-entering my house of partners ( which is currently quite crowded with Venus, Mars, and Jupiter) has resulted in minor melancholy, stormy seas, and iridescent sky scapes.
Enjoy the water even if it is a little chilly. Let the clouds guide you as you sail to mysterious ports of call. Remember you can never go off course.
image credits: wikiart.org, public domain
As she entered the Castle building where she lived just one year ago, she hoped to return again. But it will be different this time. As she walked around the small studio dwelling, familiar glimmers of her power began to enter her awareness.
As she stood in the kitchen of the current tenant, she marveled at the earth mother vibe, with homemade baked bread, loads of fresh veggies, and various containers and bowls containing beans soaking in water. How unusual, she murmured to herself. I have never seen beans outside of a can before, but yet, something within me wants to grow into a woman who understands the glory of the earth. She wondered how the water revives the beans and what other mysteries reside within them.
I will live here alone and build my life anew. Saturn is demanding that I put down my own roots for the first time in this life. Perhaps I will be similar to this woman whose home I will claim. This is my time. She told the owner she will take the apartment.
Now is the ideal time to share more of the back story behind my starting litebeing chronicles. I hinted at this tale here. It goes back to Halloween 2012, and in many ways, much further beyond linear time itself. ( as I type these last words, my phone rings. Often I notice that the truth is often echoed with sounds in one’s immediate environment. Just sayin’ )
This is my Halloween tale, litebeing style. Read closely and you will learn about ghosts, spirits, lightly veiled mysteries, and the great beyond…
Before I proceed, I am going to share with you my personal theory on interpersonal connections. I have been playing with this for some time but never disclosed it before. I visualize that all beings are like planetary bodies with unique orbits. All of these orbs spin like wheels through space and time. Picture natal astrology wheels in orbit. This is why some relationships are fleeting, while others are “permanent” or intermittent. The mystic wheel above is as close of an approximation I could find online. My Dancing Rainbow Wheels header image also conveys a possible interpretation. Consider either image and then close your eyes and imagine infinite wheels moving independently at various speeds throughout eternity. Then imagine that certain wheels start to gradually slow down and begin colliding together and aligning symmetrically, only to pick up speed again in a yet to be determined instant…
Now back to our story:
Two years ago I was searching for some missing ” elements” in my life. My physical health was clearly deteriorating and I was not certain I could stand the pressure to work a full-time job anymore. Certain aspects of my life needed to change. My devotion to Quakerism had evaporated. My long-held ideas about the workings of Spirit were up for grabs. While I loved ( and still love) so many of my Quaker Friends ( and friends), I knew that my worldview was not confined to one particular religious denomination. I just did not know what was true for me anymore and I was scared. While I was relieved to discover that it had always been about the people, not the circumstances that attracted them to my life after all, I still felt empty. My carefully honed house of cards came tumbling down, yet again.
When I learned that Tracie was discounting soul-truthing sessions, I was curious to learn more. I enjoyed her Gaia channeling at the monthly Soundbaths I had attended. I was very intrigued by this process of soul communication and the price was right. So I contacted her straight away. We scheduled my session for Halloween. It seemed like the perfect time to access whatever has been hidden from view.
Ever hear something that seemed so wrong but you could not ignore it, no matter how hard you tried? I always take any reading with copious grains of salt, because my intuition will always remain the ultimate authority. However, when I was told that my flame had basically dimmed and that I was living like an observer, detached from life, I had to face the music. I was closing down. I was instructed to invoke fire energy into my life though daily meditation. Once I was revitalized, the time would come to use some herbs to get grounded. Fire, than earth. I asked Tracie where I could purchase the herbs and she suggested a store in my neighborhood. While the reading contained a lot more information, we will focus today on the need to reclaim my passion. This journey reminded me of the shamanic practice of soul retrieval. My vitality depended on elemental medicine and I was ready to begin healing.
Within days I began to witness a variety of opportunities before me. The Quakers have a phrase for this ~ “way opens”. I do not recall the exact timing of these events, but it really doesn’t matter. I saw the film Cloud Atlas and was enthralled with it for weeks after my initial viewing. The weaving of seemingly disparate stories and characters was so compelling. I was profoundly moved by this film. I then was introduced to Anita Moorjani’s book Dying to Be Me. I had to finish the book in one sitting. It was so captivating ! I totally got it, beliefs were irrelevant, it is all about experience. YES ! Disease awareness campaigns only create more fear and dis-ease manifestations. Fear is not needed here, life does not require fear. On the heels of these revelations I began my first Deepak Chopra guided meditation online series. I was hooked, meditating daily with little effort, just by keeping the commitment. My practice was flowing, After decades of difficulty, I now looked forward to closing my eyes and entering the stillness. It felt sooooo comforting.
Just a few weeks later, I sign up with WordPress and begin blogging. Further down the rabbit hole I go.
But there’s more….
Fast forward to late October 2013, 1 year after my soul truthing session. It is high time I find some herbs. I drive to the herb shop and it is closed. So I go to the bakery instead and buy some sweets and talk astrology with some women in the cafe section. I know that I must return to the herbal store soon. It is typical me to wait for months to go somewhere and then get so disheartened when the place is closed. I tell myself it will be fine to wait a bit longer. I return on All Saints Day, just a few days before a Solar Eclipse and my birthday. I allude to this encounter here. The herb shop is open and I walk in the door. I immediately feel disoriented and overwhelmed. The potent aromas carry me back to a distant time and place. Where am I ?? I am confused and suddenly fatigued , yet determined to purchase some tea. I wanted a blend that I had just read about on Lehua’s blog, rooibos chai. But the small store was packed with so many choices and I was unable to decide. A gentle woman calms my nerves by smiling and simply listening to my ramblings. She patiently helps me find some tea, a strainer and some sage. We chat a bit and I tell her about my astrology practice. She smiles and blurts out that she is also an astrologer. Time melts away as we talk and talk and talk. There are no other customers, so it appears that we are being given divine permission to converse in the middle of the business day. This young herbalist and I swap contact info and say goodbye. Before I exit, I am reminded of the beans soaking in the bowls about 29 years ago…
Fast forward to NOW:
The herbalist and I become good friends. We share a synastric Neptune / Venus conjunction that has been showing up everywhere. The first time I discovered it was with James. These folks born in the late 1970s and early 1980s joyfully buzz around me like exuberant bees, abundant with love and light. I am so grateful for their presence and the otherworldly Neptune Venus influence, so rare and exquisite.
In this particular scenario, there is a distinctive tie in with herbs. I have been using odd herb and spice combos in my cooking for what seems like forever. First it was cayenne in everything, than garlic, curry, hot sauce and now ginger, Sriracha, and the multipurpose turmeric. No one has ever showed me how to use these ingredients and I do not use recipes. I use these ingredients intuitively, without measurements. This process is so natural to me. On a few occasions, some have said that I have been a healer before; the go – to person for herbal remedies in my community. I begin to wonder if this could be true.
There are so many threads to this sweeping tale, some obvious ; others elusive. Shortly after I began blogging I met Karen, Monika and Sindy. Karen blogs on reincarnation. Monika posted about Cloud Atlas close to my WordPress arrival. Sindy began advertising the Deepak meditation series ( The next one begins this Monday). Through reading comments on Sindy’s blog I meet Shree, who writes a book review on Dying to be Me. And on and on it goes.
2 years amounts to 730 days. It has been exactly 2 years since I had my soul – truthing session. It goes by so incredibly fast, doesn’t it? A string of subtle moments: a steaming cup of tea, candles flicker in the distance, a bowl of beans soaking on the counter, the fragrant whiff of fresh herbs, a stranger smiles, the winds kick up. One day slips into another.
The wheels keep spinning….
images by wikiart.org public domain
For more on the Collision series and other related posts: