A Heartful of Wonder

I have created this piece for my Divine Mission-Possible blogging challenge. Visit here for all the details and to see the schedule. Interest in participation has been low this time around. But you can change that in an instant!

Please join us now and make this year’s challenge the best one yet!

This topic of life mission is an easy one for me to address because I ruminate about it all the time. As I entered middle age and witnessed the loss of many of my friends’ parents and many of my relatives, the grip of time became tighter. Time continues to speed up so fast that when I plan events many months in advance, I recognize that they will arrive in what appears to be only a week or two. So what have I done so far and is there a point to my existence?  I have felt quite depressed for the past few weeks, considering if I have veered way off course. It is so tempting to focus solely on the regrets, errors, losses, pain, and disappointment.  But such a narrow perspective can be a distraction from where this sea of memories has transported me thus far.

I was a very quiet, reserved child who felt different and in the way somehow. I spent plenty of my days passively observing the world around me. My sensitivity, curiosity and imagination have been profoundly obvious from the start and it took me some practice to cultivate the gifts they could provide. The ability to delight in the grace of artistry have given me comfort beyond description. When I was able to transcend early despair and woundedness, I could access joy through a kaleidoscopic lens.

So much pain created so much chaos, but the correct people and opportunities presented me with the ability to discover what moved me. Writing, astrology, and spelling of all things, taught me how to channel my imagination, wonder, and visual acuity into form. I think that I was a great speller because I had an uncanny ability to visualize words. I no longer possess that ability, but excelling and competing in spelling gave me confidence that was sorely needed as a child.

The rocky cliffs of Étretat by Monet.jpg

My love of beauty led me to draw as my curiosity led to studying astrology. Drawing still relaxes me and conversing with a client about their birth chart brings all the analysis and attention to symbols and patterns to life. It is so natural to understand why certain aspects of mysticism are effortless to me now. I honestly prefer what comes easily to me, but that is not what I apparently signed up for. If earthly life could only be an impressionist painting, waiting for me to dive in and immerse my soul in its delicacy and shimmering rays of bliss?

I do relate to the idea of a lightworker and have for quite a good while. I was around before the harmonic convergence, before ” New Age ” became a thing. I was coming into my own during the swirling, hazy Seventies, where the experimentation and boundary blurring of the Sixties had shaped our Western world through a technicolor lifestyle. I decided while in high school that I wanted to become a therapist and a writer, and make my impact on brightening up the planet. Like many of us, I longed to fix the brokenness around me and inside me. I retain some of that idealism, but am much more incarnation-fatigued than ever before.

I came here to heal, teach, inspire and share cumulative knowledge through the occult, psychic/intuitive abilities,  creative impulses and wit. Yeah, I came in naturally witty ( Moon in Gemini). It has taken decades to see a clear path through my lineage and probable past lifetimes here and elsewhere. While the specifics are not absolute, the residue has led me to this conclusion. I am not certain about all the other labels we humans like to give ourselves, but I have been taught since my twenties that the planet would be transforming in a radical way. I do not have distinct memories of planning this lifetime, nor am I being informed of this by guides. Working on myself and serving others has provided me with this inner knowing.

all of these paintings under impressionist heading wikipedia pub domain

Am I grateful to be alive here and now? Not usually, no. The past 6 years or so have been incredibly terrifying and heart wrenching for me a good deal of the time. I have written extensively about the difficulties so I will not rehash them again. The grip on my neck is tightening and the stakes are higher. Or they seem to be. I am not always clear on how much more hardship is in store for us individually or universally. I do feel that I am on a mission and that without all the early blows and ancestral damage, the motivation may not have been in full force. I have read from several sources that old-time lightworkers lost their way because they became inundated with the harshness of the material overlay that can hinder the development of consciousness. I know this is true for me. But I have not given up, not entirely. On countless occasions, an unexpected, often subtle sign would appear, helping my melt away my despair, albeit temporarily. The more I love, the more my heart opens. The more vulnerable I allow myself to remain, the greater is the likelihood of pain and grief to penetrate my soul. But here’s the thing; my soul is so much bigger than little I, so much stronger than this body that I am renting by the hour. So I do the best I can, and when I need to rest, I rest. A full heart is a mixed blessing, but in the unlimited realms from where we all originate(and currently reside in parallel realities), blessings are infinite.

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Book Review ~ When Spirit Leaps

Book Review: When Spirit Leaps ~ Navigating the Process of Spiritual Awakening by Bonnie L. Greenwell PhD

Many books and articles about the awakening journey make assumptions about their audience. Either they elevate their knowledge base and throw theories and terms around without proper explanation or they appeal to the lowest common denominator and dumb down the content. When Spirit Leaps is so appealing because the author treats the reader with care and respect. This book is both comprehensive in scope, without sacrificing the personal element. I think this is one of the reasons why I highly recommend When Spirit Leaps.

Dr. Greenwell, a transpersonal psychotherapist, non-dual spiritual teacher and former student of Adyashanti, draws from her extensive experience to create a book that will engage and support anyone who is looking for clarity about embodied consciousness. She has a great reputation as a longtime Kundalini expert and her emphasis on Kundalini activation makes this publication especially valuable. The book is divided into three sections: How We Awaken, Navigating the Challenges of Awakening, and The Continual Unfolding of Liberation. The reader can choose to read this book using intuition or approach it from cover to cover. I assure you there is something of interest for anyone eager to learn more about the awakening process.

I was especially fond of the How We Awaken material. Chapter 2 Energy Moves Us Along the Way, was so informative and rich in details about the “mechanics” of Kundalini. Many people are aware of the concept of Kundalini and have heard accounts of how people are transformed after a Kundalini activation. However, many are still left wondering “Have I experienced this energy myself? “or “What does this process look like? “I am one of those people and was hungry for some sound explanations. Learning about the various nadis (lines of energy) was new information for me and Greenwell’s explanations were very helpful. I also appreciated her take on the chakras through the tantric yoga tradition.  Section 1 also includes insightful material on the various portals to awakening consciousness that is both practical and heartfelt. The content on the Dark Night of the Soul and moving into the void is also well executed.

Section 2 explores the challenges of living fully embodied while undergoing gradual or sudden waves of heightened awareness. The author does a great job helping one discern the differences between dysfunction (psychosis) and enhanced function (increased consciousness). This topic is controversial and difficult to get a handle on, but Greenwell covers it with respect and care. The exercises included are also a wonderful resource as well.

In the final section, the book addresses where to go from “here”. The losses inherent on the spiritual path are addressed, inviting the reader to acknowledge and accept that gains are a byproduct of letting go of what no longer serves a more evolved way of being. Chapter 9 covers the complexities of living in unity consciousness in a 3D world that appears dual in nature. The following quote resonates strongly for me: “In the stillness between extremes, we’ll discover who we are. Possibilities will arise from the heart and the deeper intuition of the gut, so a new birthing can happen.  Our natural impulse towards life as an expression of love, wisdom, and creativity can emerge without barriers.” When Spirit Leaps takes the reader on an adventure with heart, wisdom, and integrity, allowing the space for integration, peace, and further exploration.

You can purchase Dr. Greenwell’s book and learn more about her teachings  by visiting  www.kundaliniguide.com or www.awakeningguide.com.

Spring Awakening

Okay, here we go! It seems like I have forgotten how to blog, so bear with me. IAM ready to begin again…

First of all, welcome to all the new readers and followers! While I was “away” I did take note of all the lovely souls who took the time to visit and read. Blessings to all of you.

Mercury has stationed direct, Saturn has stationed retrograde ( in my natal sign Capricorn), the Aries new moon occurred on Sunday, the Sun is conjunct Uranus – the Great Awakener ( in Aries the harbinger of Spring) and most importantly, Chiron has exited Pisces and entered Aries.

So where to begin? I have been noticeably absent from WordPress for months, with the exception of the occasional new post. It was not lack of interest, just lack of energy, and later – inability to convert my ideas into words.

So I am going to begin slowly and thoughtfully, with gentleness and simplicity. Most of my readers know about James, If not, you can read about him here.

Although we have been out of touch for years ( on this plane), I typically send him a birthday greeting on Facebook. I could not tell you the last time he replied. I understand that his life and mine have moved in very different directions and that our connection was never meant to be long-term. So I was quite surprised to receive a reply! The message took the form of a poem and I interpreted it to be a prayer of protection. I know James well enough to know he would be cool with my sharing it here.  I also value privacy enough to have given him an alias! James’ birthday is March 22nd . I received his message that evening:

May the fire of the soul light your path

and the roots of your soul dance deep with the earth

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to me

Everyday we are born

Everyday we are free

The words are simple, but powerful and I took his reply as a sign that I am being watched over. March was particularly heavy for me and more surprises were in store. However, I believe that we are always loved and that with attention to one’s presence in silence, it will be revealed.

So this is the beginning of my re-emergence to blogworld. I am quite changed in many respects, but my care for this community has not wavered.

Goodie 1 : During the last few weeks, I began hearing a new music video on TV. Eventually I realized that it would be my current theme song.

Goodie 2 : My Aquarius rising galpal  Dayna wrote a crazygood post today on Surrender. She could have been channeling my Higher Self. Surrender is a regular dish served on my Earthlife menu these days.  Check her out here.

 

So that is all for now. A little appetizer to entice you to await the banquet being prepared when the time is right.

With much love,

litebeing aka Linda

wikipedia.org public domain

The Liteness of Being

A while ago I hinted at a new post where I would describe my emerging intuitive process. I am ready to do so now, with the awareness that this may have to be re-imagined at a later date. Somehow I know it is important for me to put my thoughts down and share them with you, before I forget… Do you know what I mean? Have you ever felt that way yourself?

Here is a soundtrack to accompany my musings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-HLxpWGCzc

It is the truly interesting how subtle my guidance is most of the time. Since my goal is to expand my awareness and notice as many signs as possible, “capturing” each experience seems like a good idea. What I have recently pondered is that these instants are more real then “ordinary” routine living.

Here’s an example: For me, meeting people in odd places and hearing songs that are connected to my thoughts have now become ordinary. This doesn’t mean that they are irrelevant, just that they don’t strike me as novel anymore. It is also getting to be the same with spotting 111 and 1111. So when  I observe an event that is both subtle and novel, it makes a stronger impression.

So if I am looking at the red chicken curry in my freezer while a tv commercial broadcasts “red chicken curry” simultaneously, I take pause. Or when I am uploading a Poplar painting by Monet to the blog, then switch to Facebook and see the exact same painting on my news feed, I may get goosebumps. Or when a day or so after a psychic designates caterpillar as giving me a significant message and about 30 caterpillars fall from a tree above me and bounce on my head and my car as I prepare to drive to  last week’s  job interview, my heart beats faster. All these events did happen to me exactly as described. When I saw all these caterpillars rain on me, I was in such awe. It felt similar to when I am in a dream and get that knowingness that I am indeed dreaming.  Space and time were frozen and all is as it is, and it is simply divine.  Caterpillars are harbingers of transformation and I clearly am in the midst of a major one.

So what do I mean by “real ” ?  This is where it gets a bit challenging. When I discard the constant chatter and analysis in my brain, I am left with a feeling of completion. It is a sense of resignation, of inevitability. I do not have the why figured out, it is a feeling of being temporarily taken out of one’s “story” and placed in a dimension where circumstances are natural and in the flow. Am I describing the 5th dimension ( my analytical mind wants to know) ? Maybe.

I do wish I had pictures of the caterpillars, but I did document the traveling grasshopper last year, so that’s something! I realize this proof is unnecessary, just a crutch until I learn to accept the unusual to be the new normal.

Tell me what you think. I would love to hear about similar experiences or your take on how one recognizes “reality.”

Interested in learning more about your astro-forecast? Contact me here.

I am seeking blog donations at this time. Contact me here if you are so inclined.

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Introducing Libertine Chronicles

Hey litebeings, or should I say libertines?

I was using my random post oracle to review some old posts during this Mercury retrograde season. I landed on Ego trip from 2013 and began watching the video. It was an excellent take on the ego and still holds up well today. You know how at the end of a YouTube video other video choices appear on the screen? Well I saw some very interesting options. One was a Matt Kahn video and the other was a video by The Libertine Chronicles. Sounds familiar, right?

What is the Libertine Chronicles? 

It is the name of a video series by unASLEEP. unASLEEP is the creator of the video on  relationship with ego that was featured on the Ego Trip post.

Libertine and litebeing are almost the same word, just substitute an R for a G and voila we go from lite to liberation! I found the similarity uncanny. What are the odds?

This synchronicity really got my attention so I watched the first video on intention:
 

 

Please watch and let me know what you think. I continually am astounded at the rate and intensity of synchronicity in my life. I felt compelled to share this here. I plan to watch more of the series and see where it leads.

Give me liberty, liberation, and lite for all beings!

Musings ~ The World is Conspiring in Your Favor

Hello fellow litebeings,
I used my random blog oracle just now and arrived here. This particular post really encapsulates many of the concepts and attitudes that I am currently examining. I invite you all to read again and join in the discussion.

Namaste

PS: Just visited twitter and today is Ascension Day. Happy Ascension Day!

litebeing chronicles

UPDATE: As often happens in my world, synchronicity abounds. I just discovered today ( 11-2-14) that my local meetup group is having its monthly Saturday Discussion on Ascension. The leader said they have never covered this topic before and is bringing in a special speaker. If you are local and want to know the details, please email me. I hope to attend and gather more information and engage in some meaningful discussions. I am so grateful that my life is so graced with synchronicity, especially when the big questions come to me without any easy answers!

As a recovering paranoid pessimist, I work very hard to “re-frame” my thoughts and my expectations. This is much easier to for me to do with others in my role as a therapist than for myself. I was raised with the motto ” Never Trust Anybody!” and I began to internalize it early…

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Re-volving, cycles, and feathers

Tomorrow July 21st marks 9 years since I had an intense awakening ~ an expansive opening.  I blogged about it here.  It was a mystical experience that still occasionally reverberates within me, even to this day. While I have briefly reminded myself this week about the 9 year cycle, my mind has been overloaded and this anniversary has pretty much remained in the background.

I woke up at peace this Sunday morning and wonderfully rested. I recall having had an odd dream about astrology and oracles and the globe. I think it may be significant, but I am not certain as of yet. I felt some of Eckhart Tolle’s spaciousness and then I remembered the cycle. Nine years are the completion and the culmination of all that came before. Hmmm…

So Karen and Sindy and Julianne and other blogettes write often about fairies, angels, feathers, and the like. And while I do try to remain open, I have my doubts.  Call me a skeptic. You know “Oh,Ye of little faith”. Well, I am Ye!  I only believe what I directly experience. This is how I roll. One of the reasons I especially like Anita Moorjani is because she postulates that faith is unnecessary on the spiritual path. I could not agree with her more.

So I notice a big white feather on my couch today. I pick it up and place it alongside some items on my coffee table.  I begin to wonder about angels. I did blog on angels yesterday after all. Then a couple of hours later while putting away some things on the kitchen counter , another white feather drifts onto the counter. Then I really take notice. I do want to state that I have feather pillows in my home and have at one point placed a white feather in a bowl on the kitchen counter. But I rarely ever see a stray feather and I do not think I have even noticed 2 in the same day.

Would 3 or more be more dramatic? How about a purple one like that featured in the image earlier in this post?  Yes, and yes.

Yet, something got my attention today and the 2 white feathers were enough for me to realize that some of that mystical residue from 9 years ago is still in play.

Am I evolving, re-volving, or  just delighted to have enjoyed a pleasant Sunday alert and content?

This song seems appropriate ~ spinning wheel

related post: https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/calling-all-angels/

image credit ~ “Shaft of Indian Peacock tail feather” by MichaelMaggs – Own work. http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5/wikimedia.org

All is well

The dust is beginning to settle, finally!! Could it be the movement of the moon post-eclipse? Is it the amazing array of creatures out and about relishing this bright sunny sparkling Wednesday? Maybe its the new meditation   I started recently.  It could be the free WAWA coffee day. Walking into WAWA and custom designing a large cup of dark brew/kona/ french vanilla coffee and leaving without paying was liberating. Yet it was more than that somehow.

I really do not know the answer.

What I do know is that I had a lucid dream two nights ago. It was a wee one, tucked at the end of a longer dream, right before the beginning of my day. I was so excited and it seemed so unexpected. I have not been sleeping well this week and have not put out requests lately for anything in particular in the dream department. The dream content was simple. I wanted to design a room and although there was nothing in front of me that looked promising, I sent out my command and it materialized, viola! Boy was it beautiful, beyond the scope of my imagination. It surpassed any expectation. It was indeed, AWESOME. The content really did not matter. What has remained with me is the excitement of ideas made manifest.

wikimedia free domain

Today it dawned on me that life is so much bigger than we will ever comprehend. So much more than any planned outcome, bucket list item, or well-intentioned prediction.

As a content- to- be- labeled INFJ, planning and organization are part of my DNA. I happily strategize, devise contingency plans, etc…  But at least for today I am going to let go of this behavior, just for a while.  Long enough for me to soak up the spaciousness that Eckhart Tolle describes so brilliantly.

All is well..

listen for some magic

We really do have magic within us. It is patient as it does not know of time. It is waiting for you.

Tell me please, what are you on the verge of????

image credit: wikimedia.org

My Awakening Experience and Moving On: It is always about love

key_eternity

Please play this while reading :  Collide

The dawn is breaking

A light shining through

You’re barely waking

And I’m tangled up in you

Yeah

Fitting words from the song Collide by Howie Day for an experience that really defies the limits of human communication. This looks like the beginning of a romantic love story. Looks though, can be deceiving! On January 30th, Uranus the Awakener  ( modern ruler of Aquarius) is in full force. Today also marks the Chinese New Year, the Year of the Wood Horse. I chose today on this rare Black Moon, the Aquarius New Moon ( a few degrees behind my Ascendant) that also features Mercury conjunct Neptune to post my offering for my participation in Barbara’s January Challenge on Awakening. Thank you Barbara for giving me a nudge to look back at this time in order to gain some perspective and share with others.

It is an auspicious time to herald new awakenings ( Aquarius/Uranus) and write about mystical openings ( Mercury conjunct Neptune).  I am not claiming to be enlightened or awakened, far from it. Growth to me is both cyclic and nonlinear in nature. I envision a spiral when I reflect on my life thus far. I have moved through life with many highs and lows, but each time a challenge comes, I emerge somewhat changed and move further along the larger individual /collective spiral. I will now attempt to describe an experience that was otherworldly and incredibly trans-formative. While my memories have faded, I still see that this glimpse beyond the veil has relevance in my present life.  There have been many other openings before, and many since. But this particular time it was all about love. And love is all that really prevails in the energetic field of consciousness. I chose the song Collide because it was popular during the Summer of 2005 when I experienced this brief but poignant opening.  In fact I crafted my first blog series ~ The Collision Series, with both this song and that awakening in mind to illustrate how subtle awakenings can trigger a new ( or renewed) way of BEing.

Background

It helps to have some background, a context for my journey. I did not fit in as a child.  I felt alone, awkward, misunderstood, and unimportant. My parents desperately wanted a child, but not the one that they got!  Some respite was found in my imagination. My inner world and my curiosity were my refuge. The occasional teacher or neighbor offered guidance and a more progressive outlook. I also had a chance as a small child to visit my great – aunt and great – uncle a few times and use their art supplies.  I recall feeling excited and so at peace creating and learning about art, and feeling more understood by them than other adults in my family. I have a feeling that they were people who I had more in common with, but I will never know. I did not get an opportunity to know them well.

Fear, anger, and upheaval were a constant growing up in my complex, dysfunctional family. My parents were not equipped to love me in the way that I needed. It took years for this truth to become clear to me. I also felt isolated because we moved so often. I never knew my extended family very well because they lived far away from us. I began to gain some footing, however, once my  progressed sun moved from Scorpio to Sagittarius. I made some new friends that I could trust and thrived in their company. Yet when I began to heavily experiment with drugs and started having vivid dreams and  heightened psychic abilities, I was utterly alone. I had no one to confide in.  I eventually shut down out of fear. I attributed these ” experiences” to be artificially drug induced and unimportant. So I minimized them and packed them away for a while.

the_journey

My journey

Once I left home, moved into my own apartment out of state, and began my senior year in college I met a coworker who would days later become my boyfriend. Within less than 2 weeks, my life had dramatically shifted! This was an extraordinary time. He was involved in a spiritual cult based on Indian meditation and philosophical practices. I did not approve of his dependence on this “teacher” Osho/Rajneesh, but I was open to exploring my spirituality again. While I avoided involvement in anything cultish, my knowledge of astrology, dream-work, meditation, and metaphysics accelerated. I remained open and met more people ” on the path”.  In graduate school  a student led me to meditation classes at a center on South St. This is where I first saw the material from A Course in Miracles.  This center organized a retreat in the Pocono mountains. A couple I met at the retreat instantly bonded with me and invited me to a raw foods spiritual group. And on and on it goes..  I experimented with many teachings such as channeled lessons, RAMTHA,  raw food, A Course in Miracles, Hindu and Buddhist practices, Quakerism,and a few I no longer remember. I am so grateful for the people I met and the knowledge acquired.

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Between two worlds

In 2004 I was very busy in the outer world. I had 2 demanding jobs; I was recovering from a devastating breakup with a coworker; I was fully ensconced in my Quaker Meeting community, and I was editing and co-writing a book with my friend. I had just transferred to a new unit at my government social service job, but (to quote Prince in Raspberry Beret ) ”  Seems that I was busy doing something close 2 nothing, but different than the day before.” My duties had become stagnant and stale in this toxic, soul-depleting environment. I knew I needed a change but my efforts to find a new job were unsuccessful. I was also looking to buy a house. Surprisingly, I could not find the right property.   I typically find whatever I like eventually, so this really had me baffled. So I sought out a clearness committee. Within Quakerism, the clearness committee represents a process for discernment.  I also continued  meeting with my spiritual advisor about figuring out my calling and defining next steps. I felt loved and supported outside of work, and tormented by ghosts and adversaries on the job. I also loved my editing/writing and it kept me going. Life was busy and moving at a rapid pace.

One day I was invited to attend a weekend workshop at Pendle Hill.  Pendle Hill is a Quaker center in Wallingford, PA that is internationally known for Spirit-led learning, retreat, and community.  My meeting agreed to pay for half of the tuition and Pendle Hill would absorb the remainder. I was so excited to get away, if even for just a long weekend. My book was about mystical experiences and my interest in the ethereal was heightened. I hoped to meet people with similar interests.

The first evening we gathered around in a large circle at the beautiful conference room at Brinton House and introduced ourselves. A couple of much younger people were sitting at the opposite end of this majestic room with beautiful hardwood floors and a cathedral ceiling. A young man with a foreign accent began to speak. I will call him “James”.  He used few words and was very soft-spoken. But I distinctly heard him say ” I have had a few mystical experiences.” No one else mentioned this topic that evening. I took it as a sign to introduce myself. The next morning I bravely went up to James and asked him if he would be willing to speak with me. He said we could talk after the workshop was over. James was new on staff at the retreat center and worked as a gardener. He had just returned from extensive travel overseas and actually grew up just a few miles away.  I was nervous about talking with him because he was so much younger than I, and I was feeling an attraction towards him that was subtle but uncomfortable. For the remainder of the weekend James would join my table for meals and look over at me during class sessions. He was observing me and again I was a bit unsettled.

We got together at the end of the weekend. We talked for hours about anything and everything. We had so much in common despite the age difference. Time and space dissipated. I told him things about myself that my closest friends did not know. I think this was because I figured I would never see him again. He was just staying here temporarily in- between his travels.  I saw the faces and smiles of all the men in my past in his expressions and his gaze. Light radiated from his eyes and it was dazzling and brilliant. I knew him and yet I did not know him. Venus had just gone retrograde ( on my moon) and conjoined the sun a couple weeks before. It was about to station near my IC in just 2 days. But I was not thinking about Venus because I was not looking for love…

magical_meeting

Magical meeting

In the year that followed , my life moved along. I had lost touch with James. The book project was suspended indefinitely, because my friend was distracted with other concerns. Work was tense and isolating. I continued to look for a house and a new job. I also continued to attend Quaker worship and meet with my advisor. I felt angry, tired, sad, and lonely. Neptune was slowly making its way towards my Ascendant at this time. I was looking forward to this major transit, but had no expectations on how it would manifest in me.  I noticed that Pendle Hill was offering a class on spiritual discernment. The same class was offered the year before and it looked really interesting. I received financial support for attending a 5 day class in the middle of Summer. I recall that I was put on a waiting list for the spiritual discernment class and another class that was offered a few weeks later. I eventually was contacted that there was a spot for me in the spiritual discernment class! Neptune would land on my Ascendant the very first night of the class. How exciting! My intentions were clear  for this 5 day class/ retreat. I was very focused on my goal – to decide whether or not to quit my full-time job and to consider new ways of following my calling.

I arrived to the center very stressed out and anxious. I was so eager to submerge myself in the calm yet powerful energies of Pendle Hill.  Upon arrival that evening at Brinton House, I went to the large wooden conference room after I unpacked my bags. It was around sunset and I felt a presence. I felt a sense of peace and excitement in the silence. It was familiar somehow. A Divine Spark was about to be ignited. I thought about James, the young man I met here in this very room. I had figured he was back traveling and creating new adventures for himself. Yet it seemed like he was in the room with me! On the first evening we all gathered in the main dining area for dinner. I went into the kitchen with my tray to get some dinner. I saw a young man working in the kitchen who looked a bit familiar but he had long hair and a beard. Literally  a few seconds later a woman in the room shouted ” James!” and he turned around. It was him!  He was still HERE.    I was partially in shock, but also felt a sense of confirmation that my intuition was in full gear back at the classroom. The next day I saw James at breakfast and we looked at one another. When he was right behind me while emptying our trays. I simply said hello and smiled. He responded by calling me by name and declaring that I came back  here to take the class I was curious about last year. How did he know? He then suggested we get together later. My head was spinning. Here I am with a strong mission and focus and this person comes back into my life. All of the sudden I feel myself being pulled into this vortex. How will I handle this cosmic curve ball?

We did meet for a few hours on  the day before I was scheduled to leave. Like before, we just talked and talked and talked and talked some more.  I was so blown away by our time together that I forgot when dinner was served and showed up an hour late. James was startled to hear I was leaving the next day , so he asked to meet again after my classes were over, just like last summer. I knew intuitively that there was something incomplete between us, so I agreed to meet one last time.

We met after my class ended , outside on this sweltering July afternoon. That’s when it happened. I could tell you where we sat and about the weather ( close to 100 degrees the entire week!) but I would be remiss to be able to logically explain what happened next. I felt like our spirits merged. I was totally understood and loved in a way that was new to me. Love without expectations. He wanted no-thing from me in return. I had never experienced this before!  We just listened to each other and let silence in, and shared who we are at a soul level. It seemed like we were blending our energies in our words and actions.  Neptune was on my Ascendant so perfect timing was in play. I did not realize it at the time, but I was getting an upgrade. There was no instruction manual. I doubt it would have made a difference anyway. I was on a magic carpet ride and there was no turning back!

While we were having our marathon encounter , I had a very unique thought. I heard my inner voice say ” If I were to die right now, it would be fine. I am at peace because I am totally understood , seen, accepted, and known.”  In fact at certain moments it felt like I was already in a higher dimension having my life review.  I was touched by Divine Love and everything was aligned. It was not about the young man really. Referencing our astrological synastry or the telepathy between us or other links is really superfluous in this case.  To quote what my friend, the talented psychic and astrologer Robert Graham , said when I later told him about what happened, ” He is just a clue.” What I mean here is that my openness to James created a portal to the Divine. Months later when we discussed our relationship, he admitted that when we are together, he would transcend. I learned or should I say re-membered about the power and magic of combining energies and raising the combined frequencies. A 3rd semi-distinct consciousness was created when we were together.  I was in a haze after we said goodbye. I walked around the grounds and saw light in the silence. I drove home on a busy interstate highway, but the car was driving me. Typically this road is scary and intimidating for me, but that evening I was lost in song and the car seemed to glide on the road. I lost all sense of time and space. I have no idea how I got home.

For a few more days I stayed with the light and bliss. I only had contact with James a few more times. But I realized that Robert was correct in that this man was not a goal. James was representative of the divine in action. I had reflected intently on an exercise held towards the end of the spiritual discernment class where we reviewed the names of various roles posted on the walls and recorded which ones were part of our calling. Mystic was one of the choices .  I decided that I was in fact a mystic, or at least a beginner mystic. I was very drawn to Rumi for inspiration.  The poetry of Rumi was very helpful in showing me examples of the Cosmic Union. This was not about romantic love at all and I saw that clearly. We were very intimately linked but not like romantic lovers. He was everything and nothing. He was family and a stranger all wrapped into one. We were so similar and yet so different. This experience was exquisitely a meeting of 2 energetic beings in a very strong portal ( Pendle Hill) at a time where Neptune was coming to my Ascendent. Time and Space collided in such a way to bring this potentiality into form.

alternative

Moving on

When I returned to work after my vacation, events occurred in a way that revealed it was time to move on. My Clearness committee was very helpful in assisting me in clarifying my experiences. So I lived on my ” house money” and quit my job before finding a new one. I was scared and liberated at the same time. I continued to notice light and symmetry in the silence, especially in nature. Communion with birds often triggered an opening for me.   I discovered that Pendle Hill and Longwood Gardens were “power places” for me. Eckhart Tolle talks about these portals in The Power of Now. My perspective on love between humans shifted as well. I now had a glimpse of what is truly real. Love without conditions. Love that pulsates all around us and within us. The song Collide is written from the man’s point of view and I believe it mirrors how I imagine James felt about our time together. Having said that; this song also resonates at a more cosmic level , especially the first section.

The dawn is breaking

A light shining through

You’re barely waking

And I’m tangled up in you

Yeah

The dawn was breaking within my being and the light was beginning to enter my awareness. I was barely waking to what waits beyond the physical plane. The entanglement was both between myself and this young man , and  also occurring at the quantum level. Was this awakening fleeting, ephemeral and anomalous? Was it a miracle in the purest sense of the word? Am I still wondering what more can happen as Neptune continues to spend many more years in my 1st house?

Hell, yeah!

Collide live    Still with me? Thank you if you read this entire story! This soulful version of the song , complete with a string section , is performed on the Dave Letterman show a few months before my experience. Notice how he mentions this track was mysteriously re-released?( and coincided with my awakening) Collide is the backdrop for that feeling of awakening and I was also re-released! Please click the link above ( Collide live) and feel the bliss.

related posts ~ if you read or re-read these posts again, you will better understand my muse….

https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/returning-home-the-series/

https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/06/18/poetry-the-wind/

https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/06/26/before-midnight-ill-love-you-long-after-youre-gone-gone-gone/

Tomorrow: January 31st,  Michael – http://navigator1965.wordpress.com

artwork by the transcendent Josephine Wall

Quick update: Funny how the time/space continuum likes to play with us. I chose these Josephine Wall images weeks ago in anticipation of this post. I used the top one, The Key to Eternity, as the primary image to capture the essence of my story. Notice the owl beside the purple rose? Well, the night before I completed and published this tale, I went to the dining room to draw down the shades and spotted what looked like a large ball of ice on my terrace railing. It seemed so out of place. Upon further inspection , the ice ball was in fact a large bird. It turned around to face me and I saw that it was an owl. I have never seen one up close before! It was amazing how it turned around to make my acquaintance, then swiftly turned back around and flew off with the most strong majestic wings. It reminded me of an eagle in flight. I take this as a sign that the universe approved of  my image selection and my awakening story.

1st     Barbara  – http://memymagnificentself.wordpress.com
2nd    Paddy    – http://paddypicasso.wordpress.com
3rd     Emanuel- http://emantable.com/musings-of-a-table/
6th     Julianne – http://juliannevictoria.com
7th     Sarah     – http://theskycladwriter.wordpress.com
8th     Shree     – http://heartsongsblog.wordpress.com
9th     Dace      – http://mywaytotruth.wordpress.com
10th   Korinn    – http://www.korinn.com
11th   Sindy     – http://bluebutterfliesandme.wordpress.com
12th   Stefanie – http://dancingwithstefanie.com
13th   Mick      – http://meticulousmick.wordpress.com
14th
15th   Megan   – http://mychroniclifejourney.wordpress.com
16th   Pat         – http://patinspire.org
17th   Marga    – http://lifeasimprov.com
18th   Kimberley – http://kimberlyharding.wordpress.com
19th
20th
21st   Heather     – http://wildflowerwomen.wordpress.com
22nd
23rd    Sue          – http://suedreamwalker.wordpress.com
24th    M…          – http://seeingm.wordpress.com
25th    Brian G    – http://middlepane.com
26th    Dotta       – http://dottaraphels.wordpress.com
27th    CW          – http://sunflowerrosecw.wordpress.com
28th    Laurie       – http://lauriesnotes.wordpress.com
29th    Debra       – http://ptero9.com
30th    Linda        – https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com
31st    Michael     – http://navigator1965.wordpress.com
February
1st      Leigh        – http://bluegrassnotes.wordpress.com
2nd     Shaman   – http://shamanictracking.com
3rd     Joss         – http://crowingcrone.com
4th     Jenna       – http://jennadee222.wordpress.com
5th     Shelley     – http://livingwithshadows.wordpress.com
6th     Elisabeth  – http://almostspring.com
7th     Michael    – http://embracingforever.com
8th

9th

 

Poetry ~ The Guest House

I did not plan to blog today. While in the midst of a personal emotional roller coaster ride, I learned of the passing of Nelson Mandela. When I considered the magnitude of his challenges, I realized that I could benefit from a serious perspective shift.   So I  decided to take my temporary angst and convert it into a fine elixir of truth. Rumi always works for me during moments like these. I have shared this poem on this blog once before, but I never tire of its message…

soulflower2013

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

*****************************************************************

Written by Mewlana Jalaluddin Rumi

Jalal al-Din Rumi was born on September 30, 1207 in Balkh (Afghanistan). His father Baha’ Walad was descended from the first caliph Abu Bakr and was influenced by the ideas of Ahmad Ghazali, brother of the famous philosopher. Baha’ Walad’s sermons were published and still exist as Divine Sciences (Ma’arif). He fled the Mongols with his son in 1219, and it was reported that at Nishapur young Rumi met ‘Attar, who gave him a copy of his Book of Mysteries (Asrar-nama).

reference http://allpoetry.com/poem/8534703-The-Guest-House-by-Mewlana_Jalaluddin_Rumi