Fool for the City

As many of you know, I am preparing to leave the city where I have lived  for 41 years. I realize I will not live anyplace else longer than that during this lifetime. I am in the midst of sorting out my nostalgia bags. These are bags of letters, cards, and assorted items that have traveled with me from place to place since moving out of my parents’ home. Each bag seems to hold a different timeline. Going through these items has been an emotional rollercoaster. I have noticed that the cover of certain cards are familiar instantly , yet it is always a surprise to see who sent my the card ( unless the cover says daughter, sister, etc).

Check out this card I found circa 1982. It was given to me from my parents and my mom picked it out. She was the one who bought the cards. Seeing it now after so many years, I forgot about it. With fresh eyes it seems to be predicting the future, predicting my current home with the former glorious big ass oak.

Take a look at the address, 444.  I have not ever lived at 444, but love the numerology. According to this site,   In terms of spiritual significance – the number 444 is incredibly important. It can be a sign that your guardian angels have got your back and are here to provide encouragement and commitment to help you continue on the right path. It can mean that your angels approve of what it is they are seeing and want to shine a light on the fact that you are making a choice that is in line with your deep soul work.

I would like to think my rediscovering it now means the angels and higher beings have my back. I sure could use the extra support at this time. Reviewing hundreds of items feels like a mini life review. How odd that I do not recall some of the people in photos and names written in cards. I was surprised in my curiosity about my father’s letters. He used to write me letters, even when I lived at home. Most of them I threw out a long time ago. Our relationship was complicated and typically horrible. But there were tender moments and fond memories occasionally. I could not bring myself to read an entire letter but the one for my 16th birthday I decided not to throw out. It is on my coffee table in case I decide to take another look.

My dad was a gifted writer and very bright. He could convey so much emotion. Certainly I inherited my love of writing from him. He had a Gemini sun and I have a Gemini moon. However he had Mercury conjunct Venus in Taurus, a really nice aspect for communications. He was also adept at using words to be cruel or deceptive. I wonder if he meant anything he wrote to me. I guess I will never know. At this stage in my life, I imagine the discovery of his writing may have been directed from the Other side. Stranger things have happened  ( and usually do happen to me).

So many people have moved in and out of my life, it is astounding. I forgot how many letters, holiday cards and postcards have come my way, documenting the movement of time and space.  I kept most of the postcards because I really enjoy them and never receive them anymore. Postcards give you a glimpse of a novel place and experience. I wish they would come back in vogue.

I truly hope that discarding lots of stuff will result in more lightness within. I am glad I was able to throw out as much as I have because my inclination is to keep anything sentimental. There is much more to go through, closets filled with stuff, some of which  I don’t remember using or having in my possession. i don’t like clutter but I do like reminders of being loved. And I do love this city, despite its flaws.