Who Are You ? Part II

This is the next segment in the Who are You? series that examines my ever-shifting identity. The first installment addressed my ancestry and where I came from. This piece considers my current state of being. I have been busy, mostly internally. I find that many of my attempts to entertain myself have fallen flat as I realize that time is fleeting and I need to be employed. Can’t you hear it, tick – tock, tick – tock?

September is here. It is Labor Day in the US, the unofficial end of Summer. I have visited September months ago in my mind and now my thought form has manifested. There was a time, an innocent time, when September lifted my spirits simply by arriving. I can still visualize shiny new brown leather shoes, ready to be broken in. And then of course came the pièce de résistance, September Vogue. It wasn’t really the actual clothes themselves that set my heart a flutter, as I am not a fashionista at all. For me, the excitement was in discovering the new trends, color schemes, and accessories for the fresh new season. The September issue was huge and bulky, filled with exotic advertisements that promised fulfillment of dreams. If only it was so simple now.

I work tirelessly to prevent sinking into a permanent blue mood by following passions, curiosity, and/or hunches. Sometimes following the thread leads to peace. Other times it leads to bleak uncertainty.

Here are a few examples of what I am into now :

What I am doing: I take myself places that have historically altered my mood in a good way. While I am a vastly different person spiritually, certain activities still whisper a promise of joy.  Movies, art museums, walks in nature, restaurants, visits with friends ; I have tried them all.  My latest trip to the Phila Museum of Art offered up close and personal views of wonderful creations, but the trip itself was unpleasant and exhausting. Yet, I was able to capture some images to share with you.


What I am thinking: I have been working on raising my vibration and resisting the temptation to stay in fear and hopelessness. I have been bombarded with childhood memories triggered by spending time on my High School Reunion Facebook Page and watching a certain television series ( to be explored later in this essay.) The memories are sweet and bitter, but not bittersweet. Some recollections are joyous and others are ghastly. There are also a few that don’t really register much emotion, more of a hmmmmm.. I am often balancing my need to problem solve with the desire to be in the flow. This often trips me up. The past few weeks has resulted in many electrical and technological challenges, before and after Mercury retrograde. Cable, Internet, Laptop, landline, kitchen fixture, thermostat, full throttle power outages, often intermittent and without warning. The newest wrinkle is I can call out on my phone, but no one can call me. This does seem like a metaphor for my identity at this moment. I feel that others don’t see me, hear me, or value me. This does not mean that I am not seen,  heard, or valued, but that my perception is distorted. I feel very disconnected or invisible most of the time.

Searching for work has brought out my cynicism and resentment. These personal traits do not suggest high vibrations.  As with most issues,  I vacillate between strategic thinking and letting go. When I let go, I feel like I ought to be doing something practical. While in problem solving mode, I consider that I am trying too hard and need to slide into the moment and align with Source.

What I am reading: Just like most activities, I read more than one book at a time.  Its how I roll. But  Playing the Ascension Game by Diana Stone has been an unusual diversion that may turn out to be a “game changer”. Diana Stone was an astrologer, shaman, author, and Aquarian provocateur. I do not recall when I got wind of her, but eventually discovered her website and got on her mailing list. Her newsletters were long-winded but quite enthralling. Withe her Sun on my Ascendant, I found a true partner in crime. We corresponded a few times and she even read my blog! She was best friends with the awesome astrologer  Donna Cunningham, who I also had the privilege of knowing online. They both departed recently and Diana’s passing prompted me to buy her book. It is written in a conversational style and covers so many topics on metaphysics. It is close to 500 pages long and is close in size to that September issue of Vogue! It reads like a diary of the coolest kind, as she recounts her experience with traveling to several dimensions and uncovering all sorts of bizarre occurrences. Her  accounts in the Coffee Chronicles lead me to drink a vanilla latte today after a long break from all things coffee. Her book makes me see miracles again, even if only vicariously. It reminds me that I once lived this way. It is THAT compelling. This isn’t really a review, but get your hands on this book.

What I am viewing: I am perpetually viewing something, or so it seems. Black Mirror, Q Anon videos. Matt Kahn. Gaia TV, WordPress blogs ( yea!), articles on Ascension, job listings, Facebook posts, emails, etc. Note how I include all screen activity as viewing. It is not the same as reading off-screen. Tonight I will focus on one series that has me blissfully distracted. The AMC series Mad Men has become an addiction that leaves me wanting more. The show is about a Manhattan advertising firm in the 1960s. It focuses on several characters, but Don Draper is the big fish, if you will. He is a man with a flimsy identity ( sounds familiar?) who exhibits complexity, compassion, and recklessness. He is a tough nut to crack during a very tumultuous time in our planet’s history. I watched a few episodes while it was airing, but have taken to binge-watching it now via Netflix. The series begins where I began, in New York City in 1960. Watching this show allows me to experience some of what was happening in my childhood, but now as an adult. I lived through most of this decade, but was too young to really taste it. The narrative emphasizes how hard it must have been to be female in mid-century America. Women were called girls and were treated  mostly like porcelain dolls or whores. Expectations were low and alcohol seemed to be running from the faucets. Watching this series helps me understand how my parents were socialized. The field of advertising fascinates me, from the artistic angle. I considered briefly entering this field as a writer. In high school I discovered that one of my classmate’s father was in the business. He showed me a little about what goes on behind TV commercials and I was captivated by his insights. Advertising still strikes me as a fascinating blend of  psychology and art, although I am less and less a capitalist with every breath I take.

Don Draper is played by the actor Jon Hamm, who happens to be a Pisces. He is also a recovering alcoholic who spent some time in Rehab. According to Google, he also was in an episode of Black Mirror! Gotta love those synchs. His Piscean persona is so evident in the Don Draper character. His aka could be Dapper Don as his character is so well put together, at least externally. Tall, handsome, creative, charming, and sometimes sensitive. He is also a chronic liar, womanizer, and escape artist, expert at shape-shifting and manipulation. A stunning example of a wounded soul painted over with a illusory handsome veneer.

Jon Hamm happens to be a great actor in a series that contains an excellent ensemble cast. At times it seems like I am watching an old fave The Sopranos, because there is an overlap between big business and the mob. The other parallel is more subtle, but so powerful. Many of the most profound scenes are portrayed without dialogue. What isn’t being said is what stands out here. This creative technique was also very skillfully executed in The Sopranos.  I wonder if some of the writers worked on both shows. Update: Damn I’m good! Just read an article about Mad Men creator Matt Weiner that said that he wrote a couple of Sopranos episodes. Either I am psychic or a really great observer of television writing or both!

I continue to be smitten with subtlety as an expression of life. What isn’t said is often more palpable than what is spoken. The role of the observer is closer to “real” than identifying with a bunch of cells encased in human flesh. The less obvious, more nuanced messages and clues often lead me out of darkness these days. I do process and receive the dark, but must admit that sustained light has been a scarce visitor these days. The numerous diversions and distractions rarely lead me anywhere solid. I am learning to adjust to living an untethered life. But it ain’t a cakewalk, this ascension business. I am not giving up, but am definitely struggling. Fortunately there is so much more to watch on Netlflix. I will take refuge wherever I can nowadays.

As I took in this sculpture last week at the Art Museum, it revealed a subtle message to me. The Bob Marley tune Three Little Birds entered my mind.

Don’t worry bout a thing, cause every little thing’s gonna be alright.

 

Disclosure

Hey litebeings and welcome to all the new readers and followers! Mars went direct this morning and this is a hopeful sign of advancement in the weeks ahead. My mood is still really funky, but as I have mentioned here at some point, my moods tend to shift more quickly than in years past.

My philosophy regarding controversial topics is to keep an open mind and let your intuition guide you towards the truth. I have recently become aware of the site Collective Evolution and I enjoy it very much. The material is interesting and appears to be balanced.  The people affiliated with Collective Evolution have a bright and lively energy, which shines through strongly.

They are offering one more day to view the following video for free. See the link below:

https://explorers.collective-evolution.com/wilcock-replay/

This video features David Wilcock’s take on Disclosure and the fall of the Cabal.  I posted David once on this blog and the reaction was mixed. Hell , my reaction remains mixed! But I received so much worthwhile information so I want to share it here. I have had plenty of time on my hands to research topics that used to turn me off. But here’s the thing, so much of what I am about  may be controversial to any particular segment of society. I have studied astrology since age 7 and have accessed psychic abilities and pre-cognitive dreams since my teens. And I could go on…

The point I am trying to make is that I would fail to grow if I said no to anything that was new or mysterious to me. Sometimes I take just a smidgen of what is offered and leave the rest. We get to decide what works for us for the highest good. As always, all reactions and comments are welcome.

The Apathy of Options

Many of you know I am a huge fan of Matt Kahn’s work. However, I am not excited about everything he shares on social media. This most recent video affected me in ways that are so intense that the word profound is too mild a description. There are no words here, only experience.

Initially while viewing the start of the video, I thought the concepts being introduced were ridiculous and began to disengage. I am glad I hung in there though because the material just kept getting more and more interesting. What I have gleaned so far from Matt’s teachings is that he is preparing us for a larger reality and how to undo what restricts us from being the fullest, most splendid version of ourselves, beyond limitations.

Let me know your reactions!  love, litebeing

Clearing Away for a Faerie Future

Whew! We survived another Eclipse season. When I think back to where I was one year ago during the August eclipses, I am so grateful to be here now. Not to say that this summer has been a party, but hey, I have grown quite a bit since then. There really is no other choice. Many mornings I wake up with a heaviness of a sense of dread, wondering if I am picking up collective energies, or my own. Sometimes the clarity I seek alludes me. Yesterday was a very social day for me and it was very celebratory in a true Leonine manner. I had such a lovely time with friends, one of which is a Leo. Today had a darker vibe and  a couple of hours ago I heard some horrific news about a woman who died way too young. She was not a patient, but someone I knew as a teen.  But I will not let it drag me down. I will absorb the information and then let it go.  It will be added to the clearing pile.

Let me elaborate: I have been dedicating myself to clearing away debris, literally and metaphorically. It has become almost an obsession for me, emerging from my higher self.  I recently hired a service to clear out an old tv and desktop from my place, which made room to organize more stuff. There comes a time when you will ultimately know what no longer suits you. This retrograde period has allowed me to release old memories from high school, courtesy of a high school reunion Facebook group. I find it interesting that while I am processing and discarding,  pleasant memories of people and places are coming back into consciousness. I must admit that the internet is a fine tool for refreshing the details, but then again, what IS the internet really? Energy like everything else in existence.

While synchs are a daily event, the truly mystical has eluded me for quite some time. But a subtle discovery brought magick back into focus:

It has been difficult the past few days to find parking near my door, so I have had to park further away. Why, I wondered, was this happening? Maybe so I could find this lovely feather today while walking to my car. I would not have seen it otherwise. I have not found a feather like this in about  2 years , so it grabbed my attention, and what you attend to expands. These type of experiences strengthen my faith that all is really well, even in the midst of stagnation and chaos.

Sometimes clearing is metaphorical or occurs on a parallel plane. I am a computer game enthusiast. I really like building cities so I am attracted to games that focus on this angle.  Elvenar  is a Facebook game that has a mystical feel. There are several worlds to play in and the builder can focus on human or non-human realms. When I reached a certain level I was close to the fairy realm. I was prompted to sell most of what I had built over years to clear the way for a new type of fairy technology. I found myself resisting this process. I did not want to undo all this work and leave my city practically bare.

Then it hit me, this is where I am headed on my ascension journey. I must be able to sit with emptiness and continue dismantling what doesn’t fit into my life anymore. I told myself ” Linda, listen to the fairy prompt and sell your stuff!”. My city has miniature humans and a few fairies now walking among my city streets. The city is in flux and has plenty of room to breathe.  This is where I need to be.

Isn’t it ironic that on the morning that the game suggested I convert to a fairy avatar that this huge beetle showed up to greet me? I saw the beetle at the exact moment that I was trying out the new avatar.  Beetle medicine is about transformation after-all. You all may wonder how much time I am devoting to computer games, but unemployment has its perks (Or not).

My header image is a faith plaque I purchased last December. I participated in a Secret Santa at work and someone mentioned buying small gifts in anticipation of the Secret Santa event. I was at Cracker Barrel and saw the plaques. I liked them so much that I bought one for my coworker and one for myself. I figured it would be a nice addition to my office. I look at it daily to remind me that faith has a place in my spiritual practice. I don’t hold the philosophy that some otherworldly being will save me, but rather that my time here is on purpose and that guidance is a certainty.

The video below is a song written by Jon Bon Jovi for Stevie Nicks. It is quite on point regarding living with what appears and embracing the mystery. I dedicate this song and this post to all who have left this planet too soon. While it seems to me that the number of souls taking the nearest exit are increasing exponentially, that does not diminish the value they hold or the love they still engender.

This New Now

Welcome to the new now! We are in the thick of eclipse season, having just digested a partial solar eclipse on 7-12-18 at 20 degrees Cancer. If you are interested in a great article on this lunation, check out this link to Mike Lutin’s siteIt packs quite a wallop and is way more sophisticated than most astrologers’ musings. The degree point is 20 degrees Cancer opposing transiting Pluto. All you have to do is go online or , dare I say it, read a newspaper and you will see Pluto in Cap, doing its dismantling thing.

In my chart, this eclipse hits my natal Mars in the 6th house of health, small pets, work, and daily routine.  Mars is about our force, drive, volition, and desire.The 6th house is traditionally ruled by Mercury, which is associated with communication. Cancer rules emotions, roots, stomach region, food, family, soul, mother, and country. I can illustrate how this played out in short order. I went to a barbecue with friends, which was a last minute decision. I was happy once I arrived at my friend’s house as he is a cat person, and there was plenty of feline energy. Another friend met us there and we drove out to the country. It was a very hot day, but it felt good to be among ( astrologer) friends and do something conventional for a change. So we arrived at the party and it is a lovely home, loaded with more kitties. I was so happy to be immersed in this pleasant atmosphere. The conversation and food were good and I met some new people. We spent some time surveying the extensive grounds and I tried to avoid the sun because it felt draining to me.

The next day I discovered an odd rash on my upper body and called the doctor when I began running a fever. I was advised to take Benadryl and not to worry. I took the lowest dose and then felt worse so I went to urgent care because my doctor was not in the office. They basically laughed at me, after  I paid a steep co-pay, and said I was fine. The doctor refused to run any tests. Then my colon began acting up and I was in pain. I could not sleep well and was concerned. So I went to see my doctor’s alternate on Friday. She ran tests and gave me  a script for antibiotics.  I started taking them and slowly the pain receded and my temp returned close to baseline. Upon arriving home I receive an email stating I was not chosen for the Director of Grief services job. This news really stung.

My doctor said all the tests were okay except for the inflammation marker , which was off the charts. He was not sure what triggered it, but said to stay the course and keep him posted. He actually called me on Sunday. I have the nicest doctor on this planet in my opinion. We do not always agree on treatment, but he is caring, patient, kind, and dependable.

The rash seems to be better, but I am avoiding the sun a bit longer. The day of the actual eclipse triggered a crash of my Word program on my laptop, most likely caused by the latest Windows update. I spent the actual lunation on the phone with the tech in the Philippines as she re-installed the program.

Findings: Here are some keywords for this time period – cats ( small animals), rash, inflammation, stomach, job rejection, barbecue, Word program, computer update, computer tech using remote technology. See how these keywords capture the symbolism of Mars, Cancer and the 6th house? Honestly, I was not expecting another colonodyssey, but fortunately I caught it in time.

I was very excited because a rare transit was to being for me on the Fourth of July: Uranus trine Jupiter. It is really an astounding aspect, signalling unexpected fortune! But I ended up with illness and a job rejection! This is a case where a more impactful astro event can “eclipse” another event! I am still looking for miracles, especially as Jupiter moves forward to approach my sun in the weeks ahead. As the new moon in my 6th house can signal a new job, I am gearing up for a fresh approach, steeped in meditation, mindfulness, and connecting positive thoughts to joyful emotion. This law of attraction practice is endorsed by Wayne Dyer, Dr. Joe Dispenza, Esther Hicks, and many others.

They may package the material differently, but it still boils down to this ” Neurons that fire together wire together! – Donald Hebb.

So my plan is to continue to feel my feelings, embrace gratitude practice, employ the law of attraction, all while staying in the body in the matrix-reality dreamscape we call 3D living. I do think that I am approaching other realms while awake, but it is difficult to truly discern. My sense of time and space has shifted, as evidenced by my trip to the store today. I am in the supermarket and see a box of confections from a distance that remind me of Irish potato candy. As I move closer I am thinking we are approaching St Patrick’s Day. The box is not Irish Potato candy and it is July, not March! Not long ago I might have assumed that I am losing it, but not now. My concept of space and time is fluid and as someone whose current life is less structured, there is less to demarcate these rather artificial signposts.

While I regret not being hired for the Grief services position, I have processed it and let it go. I have new hope for my future and will not be bogged down in victim consciousness. Most spiritual teachers postulate that as we evolve, all will fall away that is no longer working in our best interest, the highest good. This does beg the question, does that mean everything and everyone that remained in my life for an extensive time was for my highest good? I do not have an answer, but cannot remain stuck there. Life is very short and I do not want to get in my own way. I hope you will join me in really living in this new now.

images ~ public domain
wikiart.org

To Be or Not to Be ~ Simulated Existence

I guess you could call this post Who Am I ? Part 2, or Who are We?  This quick entry is to refer you to some fascinating shows that may help increase one’s understanding of the nature of reality and entertain you while doing so.

While many readers are no longer pro – television, stay with me here and keep an open mind. Black Mirror is a popular post- modern Netflix series that explores the dark side of ever -advancing technology. While some ( most ) of the episodes are too dark for my taste, there are two that I find fascinating, romantic,  hopeful, and suggest the Matrix is alive and well.

Below are the  videos about these episodes. Check them out and follow your intuition as to whether they are worth viewing in their entirety:

My second suggestion is to purchase a trial membership on Gaia TV and immerse yourself in Missing Links with Gregg Braden. This series walks the viewer through the theory that our current existence is a programmed simulation. Season 2 asks the question Are we living in a virtual reality? I find Gregg, who is a scientist,  to be very logical and credible and he takes time and effort to make his case. I am finding possible answers to many questions that have alluded me for years. Thank you Whitehawk  for the gentle nudges. I get it.

Here is a link to my reviews for some spiritual films, which include Vanilla Sky and Contact that hint at simulated reality

Let me know your reactions in the comments section or shoot me an email.

peace, litebeing

Why Do We Die?

Last night I discovered that a favorite rehab patient died at the age of 25. While I don’t know the details, I am assuming heroin and/or suicide were involved. He was addicted to heroin and cocaine, in addition to other substances and had many deep wounds. He was quite multi-talented and was sweet. He was also bright as a whip and quite charming. I could go on about him, but it is not necessary.

After a night of restless sleep I login to Facebook and find a video from a dear friend. She did not know about this  development. It is incredible, so please watch now with an open heart.

blessings, litebeing

 

Spring Awakening Part II ~ Embrace Nature’s Splendor

Not everyone is made aware of the beginning of a new cycle or season. Although Uranus is my ruling planet, I do not always notice a personal shift when it enters a new sign. This time I did observe a small but important event that announced this major transit. When Uranus first entered Aries, I bought a new cellphone and it had a camera. I used it to take pictures for this blog ( see photo above). A few weeks ago this old phone started buzzing when I turned it on. Sometimes it did not turn on at all. So after seven years I replaced my trusty blue not-so smart phone ( see photo below).

With many reservations, I opted for a smart phone. While I do not want to be a slave to conformity, I relished the notion of a higher quality camera.  I still keep the phone off most of the time. Here is a pic taken with my new phone:

      Some of the flowers resemble butterflies, don’t cha think?

So in my life, replacing my phone with superior technology coincided with the Uranus transit. I will be very pleased when it actually exits my 2nd house of money and travels to my 3rd house of communication. For now, I will accept that it is still signaling a need to re-calibrate finances. What has changed for you since May 15th?

Spring has really taken off as Uranus moved into earthy Taurus. The long, cold, erratic winter is finally over in the Northern Hemisphere and my immediate world is covered in a vibrant green hue. Birds are chirping, flowers are blossoming, and my energy is slowly starting to match this season. I have begun to clear out clutter in my mind, heart, and home. I am not a hoarder, but a collector. My collections would not land me on a Hoarders episode, but let’s say I am very sentimental, especially with reading material. Clearing out some of the non-essentials is a healthy activity that I highly recommend. It helps move the stale energies out of your field. With so much cosmic intensity here on Earth, it is worthwhile to lighten one’s load by eliminating what no longer serves you.

I have assembled some images painted by Victor Borisov Musatov that exude Spring in all of her glory. It is a pleasure to share art with all of you. Sometimes a picture can express  in a way that words cannot. I truly love researching and selecting images to inspire and delight.   Enjoy!

Wishing you a rejuvenating Full Sagittarius Moon!

 

related post: https://litebeing.com/2018/04/18/spring-awakening/

images by wikiart.org, public domain

Sludge Party ~ Neptune Direct

Neptune is not stationing now, but the last few days feels like I am walking in quicksand, so I went through my archives and found the Sludge Party blog. I notice that most activities take tremendous effort, people seem agitated, the roads are filled with detours and construction, and I wake up often not sure what day it is. No Mercury drama or Saturnian drudge to report, just the last few days of Uranus in Aries.

peace out, litebeing

litebeing chronicles

celestial-dreams.jpg

As an homage to the film Sausage Party, I propose that we name Saturday night’s Neptune station the Sludge Party.

I dreamt last night of being prevented from exiting a train at my stop so I had no choice but to get off at the next stop. While the distance between stops was short, I was transported to another land. It was beautiful , with many waterways and falls. I spotted a pinball arcade and a Wawa ( local unbiquitous convenience store) , but everywhere I wandered, my calls for help were denied. I approached everyone and asked for the name of the town, but no one would answer. I told others I was lost and again, no response. I saw a spectacular pedestrian bridge that was massive. When I awoke I knew this dream was significant. I was reliving a childhood trauma of getting off at the wrong school bus…

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Spring Awakening

Okay, here we go! It seems like I have forgotten how to blog, so bear with me. IAM ready to begin again…

First of all, welcome to all the new readers and followers! While I was “away” I did take note of all the lovely souls who took the time to visit and read. Blessings to all of you.

Mercury has stationed direct, Saturn has stationed retrograde ( in my natal sign Capricorn), the Aries new moon occurred on Sunday, the Sun is conjunct Uranus – the Great Awakener ( in Aries the harbinger of Spring) and most importantly, Chiron has exited Pisces and entered Aries.

So where to begin? I have been noticeably absent from WordPress for months, with the exception of the occasional new post. It was not lack of interest, just lack of energy, and later – inability to convert my ideas into words.

So I am going to begin slowly and thoughtfully, with gentleness and simplicity. Most of my readers know about James, If not, you can read about him here.

Although we have been out of touch for years ( on this plane), I typically send him a birthday greeting on Facebook. I could not tell you the last time he replied. I understand that his life and mine have moved in very different directions and that our connection was never meant to be long-term. So I was quite surprised to receive a reply! The message took the form of a poem and I interpreted it to be a prayer of protection. I know James well enough to know he would be cool with my sharing it here.  I also value privacy enough to have given him an alias! James’ birthday is March 22nd . I received his message that evening:

May the fire of the soul light your path

and the roots of your soul dance deep with the earth

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to me

Everyday we are born

Everyday we are free

The words are simple, but powerful and I took his reply as a sign that I am being watched over. March was particularly heavy for me and more surprises were in store. However, I believe that we are always loved and that with attention to one’s presence in silence, it will be revealed.

So this is the beginning of my re-emergence to blogworld. I am quite changed in many respects, but my care for this community has not wavered.

Goodie 1 : During the last few weeks, I began hearing a new music video on TV. Eventually I realized that it would be my current theme song.

Goodie 2 : My Aquarius rising galpal  Dayna wrote a crazygood post today on Surrender. She could have been channeling my Higher Self. Surrender is a regular dish served on my Earthlife menu these days.  Check her out here.

 

So that is all for now. A little appetizer to entice you to await the banquet being prepared when the time is right.

With much love,

litebeing aka Linda