Sludge Party ~ Neptune Direct

Neptune is not stationing now, but the last few days feels like I am walking in quicksand, so I went through my archives and found the Sludge Party blog. I notice that most activities take tremendous effort, people seem agitated, the roads are filled with detours and construction, and I wake up often not sure what day it is. No Mercury drama or Saturnian drudge to report, just the last few days of Uranus in Aries.

peace out, litebeing

litebeing chronicles

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As an homage to the film Sausage Party, I propose that we name Saturday night’s Neptune station the Sludge Party.

I dreamt last night of being prevented from exiting a train at my stop so I had no choice but to get off at the next stop. While the distance between stops was short, I was transported to another land. It was beautiful , with many waterways and falls. I spotted a pinball arcade and a Wawa ( local unbiquitous convenience store) , but everywhere I wandered, my calls for help were denied. I approached everyone and asked for the name of the town, but no one would answer. I told others I was lost and again, no response. I saw a spectacular pedestrian bridge that was massive. When I awoke I knew this dream was significant. I was reliving a childhood trauma of getting off at the wrong school bus…

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Spring Awakening

Okay, here we go! It seems like I have forgotten how to blog, so bear with me. IAM ready to begin again…

First of all, welcome to all the new readers and followers! While I was “away” I did take note of all the lovely souls who took the time to visit and read. Blessings to all of you.

Mercury has stationed direct, Saturn has stationed retrograde ( in my natal sign Capricorn), the Aries new moon occurred on Sunday, the Sun is conjunct Uranus – the Great Awakener ( in Aries the harbinger of Spring) and most importantly, Chiron has exited Pisces and entered Aries.

So where to begin? I have been noticeably absent from WordPress for months, with the exception of the occasional new post. It was not lack of interest, just lack of energy, and later – inability to convert my ideas into words.

So I am going to begin slowly and thoughtfully, with gentleness and simplicity. Most of my readers know about James, If not, you can read about him here.

Although we have been out of touch for years ( on this plane), I typically send him a birthday greeting on Facebook. I could not tell you the last time he replied. I understand that his life and mine have moved in very different directions and that our connection was never meant to be long-term. So I was quite surprised to receive a reply! The message took the form of a poem and I interpreted it to be a prayer of protection. I know James well enough to know he would be cool with my sharing it here.  I also value privacy enough to have given him an alias! James’ birthday is March 22nd . I received his message that evening:

May the fire of the soul light your path

and the roots of your soul dance deep with the earth

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to me

Everyday we are born

Everyday we are free

The words are simple, but powerful and I took his reply as a sign that I am being watched over. March was particularly heavy for me and more surprises were in store. However, I believe that we are always loved and that with attention to one’s presence in silence, it will be revealed.

So this is the beginning of my re-emergence to blogworld. I am quite changed in many respects, but my care for this community has not wavered.

Goodie 1 : During the last few weeks, I began hearing a new music video on TV. Eventually I realized that it would be my current theme song.

Goodie 2 : My Aquarius rising galpal  Dayna wrote a crazygood post today on Surrender. She could have been channeling my Higher Self. Surrender is a regular dish served on my Earthlife menu these days.  Check her out here.

 

So that is all for now. A little appetizer to entice you to await the banquet being prepared when the time is right.

With much love,

litebeing aka Linda

Magnificence in Motion ~ I AM THAT I AM

Hey litebeings! As I continue to find my new voice, I came upon a blog of mine that illustrates the spiralized nature of awakening. While the current flavor is different, I see the message to strongly reflect my journey rather well. As we continue to live during these profoundly provocative and passionate times, may we grow stronger, wiser, heart-centered and peacefully woke.

love ya, Linda ❤

litebeing chronicles

Hello everyone, this is my contribution to Litebeing’s Magnificent Challenge. I waited until today to complete my post because I needed some time to put it all together. I am thrilled with the response we have gotten. After posting a reminder yesterday, two more bloggers added their entries to the mix. Thanks Dayna and Michael for sharing your reflections on what makes you “you“. There is still some time left to enter the challenge. Why not take a few minutes and conjure up  some of your magnificent essence now? There is also a shot at a free reading and this nifty badge to display on your site!

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First, a little bit about the process. I don’t think I ever intended to create blogging challenges. I would receive an idea that sparked my enthusiasm and soon after, I would receive another notion that it would make an excellent…

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I Don’t Have Words

Hey litebeings, I don’t have words, no not yet. I am still preparing my next post while processing my emotions and navigating this  “new now “.

Although  I have no words, I DO have something for you. While re-reading my post Could You Be  Loved?  , I was curious about the video I featured.  I remember how powerful the message was, but that was all I remembered. So on this void of course Scorpio Moon I re-viewed it again.

Damn, my mind is blown!

So if you are up for a little mind-blowing, check this out:

 

until we meet again, litebeing

The Liteness of Being

Hey litebeings! I have so much to process and so much to share. In the meantime, this re-blog will give you a taste of what is to come!

much love, Linda

litebeing chronicles

A while ago I hinted at a new post where I would describe my emerging intuitive process. I am ready to do so now, with the awareness that this may have to be re-imagined at a later date. Somehow I know it is important for me to put my thoughts down and share them with you, before I forget… Do you know what I mean? Have you ever felt that way yourself?

Here is a soundtrack to accompany my musings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-HLxpWGCzc

It is the truly interesting how subtle my guidance is most of the time. Since my goal is to expand my awareness and notice as many signs as possible, “capturing” each experience seems like a good idea. What I have recently pondered is that these instants are more real then “ordinary” routine living.

Here’s an example: For me, meeting people in odd places and hearing songs that are connected…

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wikipedia.org public domain

The Liteness of Being

A while ago I hinted at a new post where I would describe my emerging intuitive process. I am ready to do so now, with the awareness that this may have to be re-imagined at a later date. Somehow I know it is important for me to put my thoughts down and share them with you, before I forget… Do you know what I mean? Have you ever felt that way yourself?

Here is a soundtrack to accompany my musings: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-HLxpWGCzc

It is the truly interesting how subtle my guidance is most of the time. Since my goal is to expand my awareness and notice as many signs as possible, “capturing” each experience seems like a good idea. What I have recently pondered is that these instants are more real then “ordinary” routine living.

Here’s an example: For me, meeting people in odd places and hearing songs that are connected to my thoughts have now become ordinary. This doesn’t mean that they are irrelevant, just that they don’t strike me as novel anymore. It is also getting to be the same with spotting 111 and 1111. So when  I observe an event that is both subtle and novel, it makes a stronger impression.

So if I am looking at the red chicken curry in my freezer while a tv commercial broadcasts “red chicken curry” simultaneously, I take pause. Or when I am uploading a Poplar painting by Monet to the blog, then switch to Facebook and see the exact same painting on my news feed, I may get goosebumps. Or when a day or so after a psychic designates caterpillar as giving me a significant message and about 30 caterpillars fall from a tree above me and bounce on my head and my car as I prepare to drive to  last week’s  job interview, my heart beats faster. All these events did happen to me exactly as described. When I saw all these caterpillars rain on me, I was in such awe. It felt similar to when I am in a dream and get that knowingness that I am indeed dreaming.  Space and time were frozen and all is as it is, and it is simply divine.  Caterpillars are harbingers of transformation and I clearly am in the midst of a major one.

So what do I mean by “real ” ?  This is where it gets a bit challenging. When I discard the constant chatter and analysis in my brain, I am left with a feeling of completion. It is a sense of resignation, of inevitability. I do not have the why figured out, it is a feeling of being temporarily taken out of one’s “story” and placed in a dimension where circumstances are natural and in the flow. Am I describing the 5th dimension ( my analytical mind wants to know) ? Maybe.

I do wish I had pictures of the caterpillars, but I did document the traveling grasshopper last year, so that’s something! I realize this proof is unnecessary, just a crutch until I learn to accept the unusual to be the new normal.

Tell me what you think. I would love to hear about similar experiences or your take on how one recognizes “reality.”

Interested in learning more about your astro-forecast? Contact me here.

I am seeking blog donations at this time. Contact me here if you are so inclined.

images courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain

Colonodyssey~WTF?

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Intuitive drawing of my colon circa 2016

Is the third time a charm? I have safely emerged from hospitalization number three for diverticulitis. I went to the ER Sunday afternoon  May 14th and returned home on Tuesday May 16th. This past Thursday evening I felt worse and on Friday I had relentless chills and a feeling I was relapsing. I am back on antibiotics and my doctor is concerned about my recovery. I guess it is just as well that I never completed the Colonodyssey wrap-up post. Clearly this saga continues.

I have no great insights or epiphanies to report. I briefly looked for astrological transits and did not notice anything major. However, when I consider the solar house approach , where you place your Sun sign as the Ascendant  and use the whole sign house system, I shifted my perspective. I typically do not use this approach but it resonates for me strongly now. Placing my Scorpio sun as the Ascendant would give me an Aries 6th house of health and service. Uranus has been transiting there since 2010, which is when my health issues began to increase in frequency and intensity. I have been more focused on Uranus transiting my 2nd house of money and values in my traditional chart to consider this alternate system. But when Michael Lutin talks, I listen. He is a big fan of solar houses and when I read his site for Scorpio forecasts, he highlights health issues lately.

The whole house system ends where each sign ends so I have only until May 2018 to see a shift. At that point Uranus moves into my solar 7th house ( but remains in traditional 2nd house). The astrologers who read this will get it. For everyone else, here is the takeaway: There are always alternative explanations for any event or experience. As Matt Kahn says, each being is existing in its own unique reality or dimension where all is based on a range of frequencies. So wish as I might, to analyze everything to death, fugetaboutit.

I have been reading more about how to approach chronic and acute dis-ease in a more balanced way. I do resent that I have little control. I was planning a trip for my vacation week but stayed home due to medical and financial obstacles. On top of it all, my LCSW supervisor just informed me that she is ending our supervision later this month because of changes with her private practice. I am really beginning to question many of the recent decisions I have made lately. Little seems to stick in this reality that I am living in. Perhaps this is how it needs to be, but I find it frustrating.

I run a grief and loss group and I stress the importance of accepting and embracing change, letting in opportunities for growth and evolution. Sometimes I wonder if I am having this group so I can learn more myself. We do teach what we need to learn. I was watching Super Soul Sunday and the guest was saying how she encourages people to think about what is working, rather than what is going wrong. I use that technique in my group and thought it was my original idea, ha!

While I could complain about all that has happened the last few months ( years, decades), I rather be grateful for what remains after the dust settles. I keep learning more about myself and my attitudes and perceptions. I find joy in the small things. I can keep writing….

Namaste and thanks for your continued interest in my writing.

Ascension~ The Gift That Keeps on Giving

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This will be brief and to the point – This ascension stuff is real! Every time I try to deny the increase in my abilities, I fall short. Ascension is not what I think it is, according to what I read and hear, but that does not mean that many of us are experiencing a shift in our day-to-day 3D lives.

The weird symptoms I am experiencing this week have had me confused and alarmed. Others I talk to have felt them too: dizziness, light-headedness, chest pain, rapid heart beat, and more.  Are they kundalini manifestations or something else? This has happened to me before, in the early 2000s and more recently from 2015 till now ( intermittently). I have had several EKGs and they have been normal. My doctor said he does not think it is my heart.  I do not want to dwell on my ordeal, but am wondering if you are getting these also? Email me if you do and we can compare notes.

By the way, if you are enjoying the recent series of orchid header images displayed here, they are photos I took last month at Longwood Gardens, one of my power places. I plan to post more when the time is right.

Here is today’s version of  ” Expect the unexpected” :

Today is the anniversary of my father’s death, the day before Spring Equinox. I have been more aware of my clients’ struggles with loss than my own lately and have not been focusing on this date. So I am driving today, running errands, feeling tired and weak from the dizziness, etc and I notice a truck right in front of me. The bumper sticker on both sides says DAD. I could not make this up!

My motto is, if I post it, then it happened. That is my reason for writing today, to share my ups and downs, even as I wonder why I have to struggle so much. I do feel strangely comforted to know my dad is watching over me, hopefully from a more enlightened realm. The relationship was complicated and apparently still is. And yet, there is a point where all that is messy becomes blessed. Do you agree? Please reply because ~

I am listening….

 

image credit: wikipedia.org, public domain

2017: Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End

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Life is always in flux. While some forms are fading, others are blooming. The trick is to recognize which direction you are moving in and when to let go.

It is humbling to be nearing my fourth year of blogging and to be able to compose some thoughts about the year ahead and the year I lived through. The more I slow down, the easier it is for me to notice that existence has no clear demarcations. Astrologers love cycles and make mention of the significant planetary movements via stations, transits, and progressions. And yet, because of our cosmic fluency, we are perhaps more likely than most to acknowledge the fragility and malleability of time. Time and music marry well together and led me to use Closing Time in this post title.

To understand where I am today, it is necessary to return to April 2016. At the New Aries moon conjunct Uranus on April 7th, I began to quietly look for jobs while feeling ill. In fact I saw my doctor that very day.  I was being treated for a possible diverticulitis attack on an outpatient basis, thank goodness. One by one calls for interviews slowly began streaming in. You know, when it rains it pours. This was right before the Mars retrograde at 9 degrees Sag on 4-17-16. The day before my first job interview ( April 14th) I felt ill. I went to the doctor that morning with chest pains. This has happened before. I was cleared and happy to report my gut was much improved. About an hour later I felt waves of nausea and what seemed to be a knife going through my reproductive organs. No fun at all.

I had a decision to make, a huge one. Do I continue to live walking on eggshells or do I start living again? I did something so unlike me: I got ready for my interview and drove over while in excruciating pain. I told myself I would power through this. I knew I was close to two hospitals and that whatever will happen, will happen. It was as if I reached the point of no return. I will live in this body or I will leave this body. I was through living on the sidelines. So I completed the interview and was amazed at my accomplishment. I felt worse as evening came and called myself an ambulance. I spent the night in the ER  and was released on April 15th.  The tests  found nothing wrong with me whatsoever. Yet my symptoms continued.  I was given opioids and anti-nausea meds and told to see my gynecologist to rule out fibroid issues. I was obsessed with not taking too many opioid pills. I think I was tuning into the Prince situation as he was hospitalized around the same time as me and died from an opioid overdose.  A few hours later a call came in for another interview. Two days later as Mars stationed retrograde ( close to my MC), I had a defining dream. It ushered in a sense of renewal regarding many aspects of my daily life. I blogged on it here as part of my challenge post.

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The interview call I received on April 15th turned into my current job. I still have this poster on my office wall. When I saw the poster, I became tearful. It was both so unexpected and so necessary. It is interesting that Mars, the ruler of Aries triggered my job search and eventually landing this position and also triggered my announcement of my transfer which begins on Monday. To some degree, the New Cap moon square Uranus direct in Aries signaled the new year cycle. Uranus is always change and Aries is the first sign on the zodiac. I was offered the transfer the day before the new moon and we made it official the next morning December 29th. The energy shifted for me that morning and I sensed more peace. While I am sad to see my friend move on, her decision to leave led to an opportunity for me to take her position. I will still have the same role, but with new clients and some new staff. With two of the new colleagues I have already built an easy, pleasant rapport. I also get to move my office to a more spacious and private location. I am hopeful it will be a more harmonious move on all fronts.

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I have some great news regarding my health. After working with Wendy the herbalist/nutritionist for about 6 months, we reran some blood tests to track my progress. My primary doctor was stunned to report that my sugar levels dramatically decreased and this was without any medications! He said the change was significant and had to be attributed to lifestyle change. All my liver function blood tests were normal too. I still have to work on the LDL cholesterol, but it  is very significant that I went from diabetic range to borderline normal range on the A1C. I typically don’t like to go into such details here, but I want to suggest that if I can make this work that others can do the same. I am taking probiotics, drinking  a special herb combination in tea form,  decreasing  refined carbs, and adding more bitter greens and whole grains, among other things. While I will stress there is more to do and that I have regained a few pounds, it is so cool to see that I am capable of effecting change.

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So the promise of April with a dream of accomplishment and improved health led me to now. While I still have a void inside that is palpable ( Saturn transiting natal Venus return), my life has really changed since 2016. I have a new job, a new car, and better functioning pancreas and liver ( I am speculating based on the labs). I believe that the action of going to that job interview sick as a dog was a way of transcending the material 3D plane and operating as if I was pure spirit. We still have no idea what caused those symptoms, but it may have been associated with the antibiotics I was taking at the time. Or not.

I am so grateful to be working after about 18 months of unemployment and find it ironic that I keep seeing my former supervisor and supervisees at the last few mental health trainings. It appears to be more of this intermingling of the past, present, and future that I frequently write about on these pages. Time is fleeting and infinite, slow and rapid, stagnant and effervescent. We humans feel the impulse to label and celebrate time as a matter of ritual.

So here’s to a sparkling 1-7-17 to all, with Mercury stationing direct tomorrow ( 1-8-17) and 1-11-17 following close behind.

Musings at the Crossroads

SPOILER ALERT: Lots of poinsettia and introspection ahead….

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Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah , Merry Yule, and Happy Kwanzaa (December 26) to everyone associated in any way with this blog. You are my circle, my precious litebeing family, and I wish you boundless joy and love during this Solstice/Yuletide season.

You may enjoy listening to some of my favorite holiday music as you read on:

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There is plenty on my mind that needs sorting and releasing. This hodgepodge style post is mostly for me, but hopefully it will be interesting enough to read through. Way way overdue, so here we go…

High-way hazards: My commute to work is reasonable in duration but part of the trip is on a notoriously treacherous road. Years ago Robert predicted I would be in a major accident on this road. He sternly told me to never use it again, especially during rush hour. Robert was not always accurate, but he managed to frighten me nevertheless. The drivers are very aggressive and reckless and it takes some construction of armor for me to make this daily commute. But the near misses have occurred in other locations. About 6 weeks ago I had a vision after awakening where a white pickup truck or SUV would come at my vehicle from the right. It was so vivid and strange because it was not a dream, but a semi-awake ” scene.” A few days later, driving home on a very familiar road, a white SUV comes at me from the right and almost slams into my car. I drove into the opposing lane, which fortunately was clear. I only had been driving my new car a couple of weeks at the most. Then last Sunday I am trying to get some coffee before heading to a holiday party. It was incredibly crowded in my neighborhood and the energy was frenetic. Another huge, high-end SUV almost slams into me from the left lane. I prepare for a head-on collision and slammed on the brakes. The vehicle just missed me but I felt like I was attacked. I got out of the car, examined my vehicle and walked up to the driver, an older, well-appointed woman. I told her to be especially careful driving such a large vehicle. She declared that she did not hit me and seemed indifferent.

I think this incident triggered my GI pains the next day, which I thought might be diverticulitis. I was in shock at the holiday party and a bit off at work the following day. On the drive home I felt like a creature was kicking me from inside my belly. I went to the doctor and was put on antibiotics. Was it stress related IBS or diverticulitis? Per usual, I have no clue. What I do know is that I hate driving in a world where people poorly manage massive vehicles, text, and make calls while operating them.

Blue-Christmas: I have always felt alien during this time of year and this has not really changed, regardless of any inner-evolution. While I marvel at all the lights, trees decked out to the nines, and poinsettia in every color and permutation, I don’t understand this holiday. I do understand it is borrowed from pagan traditions and correlates with the beginning of Winter ( the Capricorn season), but emotionally it doesn’t click. I just don’t get it. I am inside my bubble where none of the festivities are able to enchant me. Being at work just amplifies my isolation. It took awhile for me to put it together, but working outside the home triggers more sadness and angst and increases my desire to build up my defenses. I do not fit in at work and am actually considering applying for new jobs in the New Year.

I have also requested a transfer to my friend’s position after she leaves. It may signal a new beginning with different co-workers and a nicer office. I find it so interesting that when I begin a new venture I am immune initially to the characters that emerge on the scene. At this juncture, so many of them resemble people I have encountered before. With the exception of my clients, my life has not been impacted much by having these “new” people in my stratosphere. I am still grateful though to be working and earning money. It is just that I continue to find myself in toxic settings and am beginning to conclude that it is not me, it is the state of office politics. On the positive side of the ledger, my supervisor approved my plan to create a new group for the young and/or newly diagnosed. I am excited about building something original based on my passion for helping people get back to the business of living. I will keep you updated.

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Traditionettes: I just made up this new word to describe some of what I set up for this season on a regular basis. Since I do not celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa, there is not much to do. However there are some elements that bring my comfort and peace in a small way. I would seek out eggnog every December until I became lactose intolerant. Boy do I miss that drink, a concoction that tastes like a boozy milkshake. Maybe I can find a lactose – free version.  I always listen to the Nutcracker either on CD or on TV. I have been fortunate to see it live at least once and it was spectacular. Speaking of nuts, I have not eaten any whole nuts since April 2015, but I do enjoy nut milks and nut butters, etc. I am very enamored with chestnuts, going back to enjoying marrons glacés over ice cream as a child. I found chestnut cream this week ~ pureed chestnuts with vanilla and sugar. It is addictive! Try it with ice cream or yogurt, dip chocolate in it, spread it on a baguette, or straight out of the jar!

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I usually purchase a poinsettia and place it on the dining room table. I enjoy experimenting with nuanced colors and patterns. They add a warm glow to any setting. This year I chose one with peachy leaves, resembling autumn foliage. This plant is not poisonous for pets and has such a storied history. Learn more about poinsettia here.

Fate and purpose: I continue to ponder who is driving this bus, meaning, who is the ” me ” that enjoys the Nutcracker and dips chocolate in puréed chestnuts? How or what is the source of my love affair with astrology and Indian cuisine? Where does my affinity for writing and obsession with pattern and color originate? Is it personality or Divine guidance, ego or Higher Self ? Joe Dispenza states that what we anticipate through intention or intuition is really what we are destined to have in our lives. We just get a sneak preview of what fate has in store for us. Matt Kahn says that everything is fated, but the degree of worthiness we attribute to our circumstances determines the outcome. So I ponder: if all is determined beforehand, why desire anything? What is the point? Who is doing the desiring anyway? Any thoughts on this?

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Rudolph’s friends: While listening to the end of Matt Kahn’s video yesterday, I noticed some movement in the backyard. At first I thought it was a dog, but I sensed much  more activity. I observed and counted at least 10 deer hanging out in broad daylight. A few of them were actually prancing around, which seemed novel to me. A stray cat emerged out of central casting, moving slowly and seemingly oblivious to all the deer activity. It truly was a whirlwind of activity! I am quite fond of deer and was happy to have them congregate near me, albeit briefly. So today I was gifted a free subscription to Carrie Hart’s power animal site and selected a power animal for the day. Guess who choose me? the buck! The central message for buck is grace, confidence, and renewal. This definitely seems fitting and the synchronicity between the deer sighting and choosing the buck adds more energy to the message. Perhaps this was a faint taste of holiday magic for me to savor.

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Last Christmas: While preparing this post, I was conjuring up memories of some of my favorite holiday songs. Some of these include Christmas Wrapping by the Waitresses. BandAid’s Do They Know It’s Christmas, Do You Hear What I Hear?, Anything Nutcracker, Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah Song, Father Christmas by the Kinks, and George Michael’s Last Christmas. Most of these are pop songs by contemporary artists that I grew up with. They are touchstones that give me the illusion of safety and comfort. Just like the chestnut cream or eggnog, they are cozy and soothing. They also help me mark the passing of time. I just learned that George Michael passed away at age 53. I first heard his music when he was in Wham and I found his voice romantic and soulful. Many of his songs were part of the soundtrack of my early adulthood. He was so much more than a pretty face; his voice was gorgeous and his lyrics were incredibly moving. I do not know if he died today, but it was announced today, on Christmas. His song Last Christmas helped me gauge the passing of each year and the direction for the future. Call it ironic but one of his most iconic songs partially foretold his future. His life would end on Christmas, his last one.

chestnuts image courtesy of wikipedia.org, public domain