Howdy litebeings! Happy New Aquarius Moon, Happy Mars in Aries, and Happy Chinese New Year ( Rooster Year) ! There is so much energy unleashed and most of it is in fire and air. Currently I have many planets in my 12th house ( including the new moon) so I embarked on a stay-cation. Many of my recent vacations over the past few years have been of this variety, simply because I did not have the funds to travel. But as an INFJ, it is imperative that I have periodic escapes from people, places, and stimulus overload. So I allow myself time to disconnect from obligations and stressful activities. Be aware this is a LONG entry, even though I left some material chronicling my activities out,
Thanks in advance to those who choose to read the entire post!
Pent-up emotions, fire and more: Thursday January 12th, the day before my last day of work, I noticed a vehicle with the word fire on it. The visual stuck with me. This happens often, where a word or phrase will leap out to me and make an impression. That evening I was preparing some loose herbal tea and I filled the kettle practically to the top. It boiled over and all the pilots on the stove went off. When I was unable to re-light them and smelled gas, I called maintenance. I was told I had to call 911. They sent over a fire engine and a team of firemen! I felt so foolish, but it was protocol. I link this with seeing the fire vehicle in the morning and also with an intensification of emotion.
Friday the 13th madness: Moving into my new position at work and relocating my office was more challenging than I imagined. I found myself to be very hyped and agitated. The day before vacation ( Friday January 13th) was when I decided to change offices and I was incredibly anxious. There is a circular path on the campus on which my office is located and after lunch I took a brisk walk around the track. It helped me clear my head, but I still managed to drop a box I was carrying in the hallway. The energy was so intense and I was about to short-circuit.
Astro-nuggets: The current transits have been brutal for me personally: Chiron square my moon , Saturn opposing my moon, and Pluto opposing my Mars have done quite a number on my emotional body and personal will. I have been feeling very aggressive and quite alienated, as if there is a wall between myself and other people. I have engaged in some nasty road rage when provoked and distanced myself from a few people on Facebook. This nastiness and brashness is a blast from the past. I have not felt so moody in many, many years. I feel like I am held hostage in a state of perpetual PMS!
Knowing the astrology does help, but I think there is more to it. I have felt bombarded by the post-Election world where there is a clash between our highest nature and our darkest instincts. My old wounds around jealousy, righteous indignation, and competition have risen to the surface. I want to clarify that even at my least conscious, I only act out if provoked ( Mars in Cancer). I had hoped the stay-cation would give me the break I needed to administer self-care and address the flood of negativity.
So how did I spend my time? Well, thanks for asking! Here are the highlights of a week that was punctuated by grey skies, cold rain, and a power outage at my home. I envisioned this time as a 12th house hibernation where I would simply read, write, watch movies, and draw. It turned out to be less me-time than I had desired, but I did get to decompress a little.
Books I am reading: The Red Book Liber Novus by Jung, The Power of Intention by Dr. Wayne Dyer, and What if This is Heaven ? By Anita Moorjani.
I have just skimmed over the Red Book, savoring its majesty. I can tell I am in for a treat. I also glossed over What if This is Heaven by Anita Moorjani, not feeling it as much as Dying to Be Me, her initial book about her NDE. Most of my reading time was devoted to Dyer’s The Power of Intention. I will explain why later on in this post.
Women mentors: I had two meetings that week, one with my Spiritual Director and the other with my new clinical supervisor. I was able to address my feelings of isolation and disconnection with my Spiritual Director, who I have been working with for several years. My initial meeting with my new supervisor was a bit awkward, particularly because of the intense cold rain and the clamor inside the diner, but I sense we will form a solid relationship. I just have to take it easy and adjust to a different personality while navigating a new routine. We shall see how this plays out.
Animals on the Other Side, part II : It turns out that the live webinar with Danielle MacKinnon that I registered for was happening in the afternoon during one of my vacation days. I was not home for the live streaming of Part I of Animals on the Other Side so I was glad the Part II coincided with my free-time. She encouraged us to email her questions prior to the program so I asked her about how our former pets guide us to pick new ones. She actually chose my question as one of the few selected, but it did not comfort me. What I really wanted was a reading and she chose other participant for those. The webinar confirmed that my grief over Dexter is far from complete and that I am stunned to realize he has been gone for about 18 months. It seems like only a few months, but it is moving towards 2 years this July. I still miss him so very much.
Tinkering with art: I started this piece from an adult coloring book weeks ago but finished it up right at the end of stay-cation. Using colored pencils was a somewhat novel endeavor for me, but I enjoyed the departure from pencil and crayons.
Films : Dream is Destiny, 20th Century Women . I viewed Dream is Destiny at home. It is a documentary about Richard Linklater and it was not shown locally. He is my favorite filmmaker and this piece commented on his passion of playing with the concept of time. This is one of the reasons I find his work so compelling. I was going to see 20th Century Women, a film about a single mother during the 1970s, after a sushi lunch with a friend on Inauguration Day. But the rain was relentless and I just wanted to get home. I plan to see it hopefully before it leaves the theaters. Arrival is another must-see when it “arrives” on On-Demand. The main objective is to not watch the inauguration. Mission Accomplished!
New 2017 practice: I had to do something about the anger, hopelessness and loneliness I have been experiencing. Nothing was getting through. The death of Paul, the drama at work, and the change in the US government was taking its toll on me. The acting out behaviors were a sign that I was out of balance. It occurred to me that I needed to move the energy around. So I re-dedicated myself to the Create My Day ritual invented by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I first discovered him on the What the Bleep Do We Know? film around 2005. His work on using the Quantum Field is also featured in Wayne Dyer’s book The Power of Intention so I am reading Dyer’s book while watching this video each morning. The emphasis is on focusing on what you want and aligning yourself with higher vibrations in the process. One of my favorite Dyer quotes is ” If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” Indeed!
My 12th house wounds have been controlling me and I am through with shadow-work. I have cleared enough for an eternity of lifetimes. This exciting approach combines science with spirituality in a way that research has shown to be effective. Sometimes you have to change it up. The week flew by and this lightning pace is the new normal. Practicing observer consciousness is my way through for now.
High-tech self-discovery: Since all the planets are now direct, I decided to embark on an adventure that has interested me for over ten years. Around 2006-07, genealogy had begun to increase in popularity. In addition, DNA tests were made available to the public. While I was quite curious about unraveling more about my lineage, the price was quite high so I put it on hold. Now the tests are very affordable and the technology is more advanced. So I ordered a test from Ancestry.com and it arrived yesterday! I am very excited to learn more about my origins. I will keep you updated as I discover more about my heritage. It is high time that I immerse myself in my passions and dreams.
If not now, when?
Here’s an oldie but goodie by the Go-Go’s ~ an all female band:
header, water-bearer and rooster images via wikpedia.org, public domain