The leaves are just beginning to change now but the photo above is a few years old.
Just one month to my birthday and it all feels so 12th house to me. More death, more dream weirdness, more head games. Some of these developments are organic in nature and others seem to be Facebook driven.
Organic updates: I had a Reiki Re-attunement last night by my Reiki instructor. She is one great person who I met on Facebook! It is cool to have a fellow Scorpio Aquarius Rising on the train. When the process ended I was ready for bed. I did not set many intentions and just wanted to rest. Boy did I get a major surprise. Initially upon awakening I had no dream recall but moments later I recognized that Emily was in my dream. I have not had any dreams with Emily as Emily since her passing close to three months ago. The details are fuzzy but she was a younger more energetic version at the start. Later it seems she was ill and many gathered around her in a gymnasium. I think it was mostly women. One person was gleeful moving and joking around. She looked like a former coworker. I last recall Emily being in bed and me and another person hugging her and crying. I was glad to offer her comfort and show her I care. I remember feeling our bond and understanding it was deeper than I realized.
Facebook and my shadow: is essentially the wild wild west and has been for years. Yet I stick around, especially for Messenger which so many people rely on for communication. I often question my motivation for posting more. Part of it is learning how to become more comfortable writing in public to a group of people who I definitely know. My posting here is way more intricate and raw, but the audience varies. On social media, it is the curated group of people you select as friends. Part of me feels more confident taking these risks. Another part wonders if some of my content is for an audience of one. Am I trying to be provocative? Am I hoping to create an air of mystery around me? Am I competing for more astrological viewers? The truth is probably all of the above. My writing style is similar to Maurice’s style, which is interesting. However he is way more detailed and tends to focus on doom, gore, and gloom. I guess that is where we differ. I do not like admitting that I may have something to prove. It seems insecure and I would hope to be a bigger person. I also wonder why I talk about Rick so much on FB. I know some of my friends there know him and that makes me feel closer to him. I also think it is therapeutic. I also wonder if I am trying to promote jealousy in this audience of one. The truth is I am hung up on two men and I probably need to let both of them go. Bottom line is that shadow aspects of my personality appear when I am feeling insecure. I need to do better.
Facebook and its own shadow: know him in 2016. So I scrolled and saw a post. It was an astrology meme that was funny. I shared it on my page and a few bloggers actually commented on it. It did happen but we were not friends that long ago, according to FB. I have no idea how this content ended up in my feed but any mention of him makes my heart race. I want to reiterate that I am NOT usually like this. I do not really understand some of my emotional responses of late. Many seem exaggerated. Perhaps it is the Special K factor. So tonight another notification triggered me. It said I could be on the public engagement list for Maurice this week. I accepted to option to decline. It said I was a top viewer. I am not even a member of his group anymore. Does he know I am looking at some of his content? I am not given data by FB on my content. I am getting the nudge that I need to unfriend him soon. I do read his content when it shows up front and center on my phone if it either is engaging or appears to be telepathic. I tend to read what shows up on my phone if it is engaging. It is not like I am seeking it out. Maybe I am feeling guilty about still engaging period. At some future point I may reveal more about what is happening behind the scenes. In the meantime I am feeling this creepy vibe from Facebook. Maybe it was always there and I am just getting around to noticing it. Have you noticed it as well?
The more I extend myself the more I notice an energetic web develops. i recently messaged a sound healer I have known for years. I asked her about somatic healers. While I am not totally sure how they work, I need more backup. My GI issues are not improving despite my inner healing, supplements, and now Acupuncture. More time may be needed but how can I move forward when mt body keeps me stuck? She gave me a lead for a healer that she knows personally. She may in fact be promising as a potential therapist for me. I located her office and see it is in the same complex as mine. So it would be very easy to find! Then I click on the practice’s website to explore. On the list of practitioners is my former boss from six years ago. The one who laid me off and returned my belongings to me during COVID. Seeing his picture gave me the ick, as they say. I will not let that stop me from researching this energy worker but I have to wonder why these Karmic people re – emerge when you least expect it. It could be Venus retrograde but I suspect it is this 12th house vibe that is everpresent.
Lastly, I found this video a few days ago in my YouTube feed that was published just a few days ago. It discusses Kundalini awakening the Sacral chakra. What I really appreciated was the merger of physiological, psychological, and spiritual aspects of this phenomenon. Learning about the possible origin of blockages was truly helpful. I am not a fan of AI voiceovers but the information was high quality.
