Sludge Party ~ Neptune Direct

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UPDATE: The transits are fast and furious for most of 2018: This morning’s Full Gemini Moon and then tomorrow Neptune stations direct! Have you felt spiritually depleted, scattered, overwhelmed? The sludge party should be over soon. Get more sleep, stay grounded, and eat protein.   Happy Full Moon and get your Gemini on 🙂

As an homage to the film Sausage Party, I propose that we name Saturday night’s Neptune station the Sludge Party.

I dreamt last night of being prevented from exiting a train at my stop so I had no choice but to get off at the next stop. While the distance between stops was short, I was transported to another land. It was beautiful , with many waterways and falls. I spotted a pinball arcade and a Wawa ( local unbiquitous convenience store) , but everywhere I wandered, my calls for help were denied. I approached everyone and asked for the name of the town, but no one would answer. I told others I was lost and again, no response. I saw a spectacular pedestrian bridge that was massive. When I awoke I knew this dream was significant. I was reliving a childhood trauma of getting off at the wrong school bus stop at around age 5 or 6. No one was waiting  for me at my stop and I refused to leave with a neighbor child, because I was certain that her stop was not my home. I was mistaken. A woman found me and took me home and I knew my phone number. I was safely returned home, but this event left a huge scar. In the dream, however, I was an adult who felt ignored and alone. Everything seemed a wee bit out of focus and in ” slow mo.”

Hence the sludge party.

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Since I never wrote my David Bowie tribute, I will showcase some of his music here tonight. Bowie was quite Neptunian, with Neptune squaring natal Sun, Mercury, and Mars and a Sun Mars conjunction in the 12th house.  I think he would approve of this linkage. It is cool to note that there is a Bowie asteroid 342843, which sits between my natal sun and Neptune. It is closely conjunct both of them , which surprised and delighted me. David Bowie has been a huge influence on me since my early teens and the recent discovery of his asteroid is lovely validation of my affinity with his essence.

Sludge, quicksand, delusion, subtle innuendo, loss, impostor, stranger, aimlessly wandering, illusion, dreams ~ all trés Neptune.

So here is a semi-random sampling of some of my favorite Bowie performances to accompany us on the hero’s journey across the bridge towards higher consciousness, with a side order of sludge for good measure.

 

 

 

 

image credits ~ header image: wikipedia.org, public domain, butterfly: Josephine Wall

Black Squirrel Morning

UPDATE: I glanced outside my window on this hot, almost – summer evening and spotted a black squirrel! It has been  quite some time since I have noticed one and I am delighted! This curious sighting reminded me of how popular this old post has become! Thank you for reading my “communing with creature ” musings as they are sacred to me.

Wishing you a Black Squirrel Evening!

Now that we are in the thick of the liminal season, I know Where the Wild Things Are. They are in my backyard and in my dreams. While I continue to seek the identity of my permanent animals totems and the rest of my ” Team”, I can always rely on the natural world to provide temporary guidance. With Dexter by my side and Jasmine before him, I am more solid, more kind, and more engaged in general. Creatures make me a much better person.

So I present you with a few recent sightings that come to bring me blessings, which I in turn, will share with you :

On a mid October Friday morning the energy was quite vivid, with plenty of animal magic. Every morning one of the first things I do is draw the shades in my dining room. They open to my backyard which is an extension of the Wissahickon woods. This is part of our phenomenal Fairmount park system. Oh how blessed I am to live in such a gorgeous place.

There are always stirrings of some sort each and every morning. I often ponder if these creatures are all standing still until I wake up, ready to scamper about as soon as I give the go ahead! Reminds me of quantum theory that says objects are not in sight until the observer is viewing them. hmm?

So the first creature I notice is a very rich black. Is it a cat? No. What then? It is a dark black squirrel. What??

Voila!!

"20121110-IMG 6495" by Marc Steensma - Own work. Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:20121110-IMG_6495.JPG#mediaviewer/File:20121110-IMG_6495.JPG

 

Isn’t he a beauty? I do not ever remember seeing a black squirrel before, so I researched to see if they even exist outside of my imagination. This is what I found:

Black. The color of mystery and the unknown. The color of trust. Squirrels can be one of the more trusting of wild creatures and will sometimes come and take food from an open hand. Trust. So the black squirrel comes to tell me to trust that I am in the right place, doing the right thing.

This is so comforting to me as I have felt quite lost and disappointed after not being hired for the research program. Black squirrel was waiting to tell me to trust my path.

A few minutes later  a bird ricochets against the window. I walk over to see if the bird survived, when I spotted 2 small deer slowly cross my back yard. I was surprised by their relaxed demeanor. Here is what I discovered :

The deer is linked to the arts, specifically poetry and music in ancient Celtic animal lore due to its graceful form. The Celts also believed that deer were associated with the fairie realm, and would lead troops of fairies – hundreds of them trailing behind them as the stag cut a path through the forest.

 

I see this as in invitation to allow more fantasy and childlike wonder into my life. Why not fairies? Why not be more open and consider that imagination and creativity can unleash infinite worlds into existence ? Since there were 2 of them, perhaps that could signify embracing the duality inherent in the arts and the natural world. Or it could mean to use creativity in relationship with others.  Here’s to an extra ladle ( or 2) of Neptune soup!

I am including my darling red cardinal because he has been a loyal visitor for years. He even inspired my poem on Grace here.

The cardinal’s bright red plumage also calls you to open yourself to creative energy. Have you been feeling blocked or dull lately? Are you looking for a new way to express yourself? Call on the cardinal to help you open up and get your creativity flowing again. The red feathers link it with fire, the element of activity, vitality, and passion. If you are feeling lethargic, the cardinal may lend you its energy to help you get back on your feet. Likewise, it can be a good bird with whom to work if you are struggling to handle depression. If you are having difficulty dealing with anger, however, seeing a cardinal may remind you to take a step or two back.

Red is the color of the root chakra, the energy center associated with stability, survival, and security, and feeling unsettled in any of these areas may be influencing your anger issue. Examine the areas of your life connected to these subjects for clues to the source of your emotional state, and move to make them better.

 

I can definitely relate to periods of time where vitality was low and sadness was prominent. I also know that my root chakra is in need of some extra healing and balancing. I think the cardinal could come in handy when faced with writer’s block as well!

This past Monday night I had a dream where a few people were in charge of many animals, They were mainly cats, dogs, and rabbits. I was instructed to  move some of the animals. I went immediately to lift this guy!

wikipedia.org public domain

Once I got hold of him, he scratched and bit me on the hand. I then woke up shortly thereafter. Since I rarely dream of rabbit and am a definite bunny fan, I wanted to discover any  and all possible messages. Here are some highlights:

To see a rabbit in your dream signifies luck, magical power, and success. You have a positive outlook on life. Alternatively, rabbits symbolize abundance, warmth, fertility and sexual activity.

If the rabbit is hopping in your dream, then it indicates fertility. You will be surrounded by children. Alternatively, the dream may be analogous to your lack of commitment and how you jump from one thing or another. If you dream that the rabbit scratches or bites you,  then it means that you need to pay more attention to your personal relationship or love life.

I am very intrigued and excited by Rabbit medicine. Success, abundance, and romance have not been on the menu lately, or at least not in a form that I would consider consistent. I do feel hopeful about my future as I embark on yet another Solar return. In my experience, the symbolic always trumps logic. This realm has the ability to cut through the crap and fully engage the soul.

Here’s to more Black Squirrel mornings, where the impossible is real and rarity is revered and appreciated.

Namaste

 first image by “20121110-IMG 6495” by Marc Steensma – Own work.  http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en 

second image by wikimedia.org , public domain

 

References:

http://awakenpastlives.com/2010/02/19/the-black-squirrel/

http://www.whats-your-sign.com/animal-symbolism-deer.html

http://www.beliefnet.com/Wellness/Environment/Galleries/A-Spiritual-Field-Guide-to-Birds.aspx?p=4

http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/r.htm

The Golden Road to Transformation

This one’s for Lynda! ” Once is a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right. ” Yes!

litebeing chronicles

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What a long strange trip it’s been, indeed.

My inspiration for the Time Machine Challenge started on a crisp and brilliant afternoon in September. If you are new to my blog or would like to catch up on your reading, please visit here to find the entire roster of spectacular challenge blogs. Reminiscing about my first September in Philly and the man who represented that era took me back to a state of excitement and joy.  I was amazed how my instantaneous flash of insight was later validated when I visited a website where that former boyfriend currently works. According to Michael Lutin, this time period before the New Scorpio Moon accentuates preoccupation and/or random encounters with past lovers or folks who trigger memories of former flames.

A few connections from Leigh and Laura gently guided me on a path of forgiveness and acceptance of the past. Leigh’s post

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Sludge Party ~ Neptune Direct

Neptune is not stationing now, but the last few days feels like I am walking in quicksand, so I went through my archives and found the Sludge Party blog. I notice that most activities take tremendous effort, people seem agitated, the roads are filled with detours and construction, and I wake up often not sure what day it is. No Mercury drama or Saturnian drudge to report, just the last few days of Uranus in Aries.

peace out, litebeing

litebeing chronicles

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As an homage to the film Sausage Party, I propose that we name Saturday night’s Neptune station the Sludge Party.

I dreamt last night of being prevented from exiting a train at my stop so I had no choice but to get off at the next stop. While the distance between stops was short, I was transported to another land. It was beautiful , with many waterways and falls. I spotted a pinball arcade and a Wawa ( local unbiquitous convenience store) , but everywhere I wandered, my calls for help were denied. I approached everyone and asked for the name of the town, but no one would answer. I told others I was lost and again, no response. I saw a spectacular pedestrian bridge that was massive. When I awoke I knew this dream was significant. I was reliving a childhood trauma of getting off at the wrong school bus…

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A Dream Sampler ~ My Winter Solstice Tribute

Just before Mercury stations direct tomorrow, I am going “retro” by posting a popular dream post that coincided with Winter Solstice 2013.

Wishing all a glorious Solstice, a productive Saturn in Capricorn transit, and a blessed holiday season.

litebeing chronicles

Some readers have been interested in my dream groups, and more specifically the content of my dreams. I have been hesitant to blog about my dreams because I do not like being analyzed. As a psychotherapist, I am sensitive to those who tend to pathologize or judge the inner experiences of others. When I assist another in dream analysis, I take special care to empower the dreamer and avoid labeling or limiting the multitude of layers potentially contained within each dream.

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Having said that, I see that my desire to inspire and advocate for dream work overrides my worries over being labeled or pigeonholed. So I have assembled a dream sampler for you today! This sampler is an assortment of various dream types. All of them have been quite meaningful because they have provided me with guidance or insight into the larger workings of Source as well as my individual…

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Petapalooza

7-12-17 UPDATE: Guess what arrives in the mail, last night, the eve of the 2 year anniversary of Dexter’s death? A huge envelope from the SPCA. I open it up to discover a 2018 calendar featuring photos of cats and dogs. I have never received a calendar from them before, in all the years I have been affiliated with them. And look at the timing? hmmmmm…

I love you Dexter ❤

On Thursday or Friday I heard something on the radio about a Petapalooza in my neighborhood. My intuition told me this whisper was a possible summons. I like the name Petapalooza and was curious. I “heard” it was yesterday and noticed nothing was happening in the area. That is because it was scheduled for today!

Friday evening before bed I sensed Dexter asleep in his bed. Almost instantly I realized this could not be. Yet I gave myself permission to allow this idea to express itself. While asleep I dreamed about animals. Both a dog and a cat ran to me like babies missing their momma. When I hugged the cat, I felt the embrace of completeness. The cat felt like Dexter, but the body was ice-cold. I remarked about this coldness to someone in the dream. There was also a patch of purple fabric on the cat’s body. I did not analyze the dream, but figure Dexter was paying me a visit.

I awoke feeling confused and sad. Honestly, I have felt sad, lonely, missing, and angry for several months now. I keep working to find ways to heal what needs healing. I considered that the Petapalooza may offer some answers.

The weather is lovely so I did not mind the long walk from my car to the festivities. I told myself my body requires more exercise. At first I only saw dogs around, but eventually I noticed some cat rescue organizations. I checked out some cats, with the intention of browsing. I am not ready to adopt. Even though it will be 2 years next week since I lost Dexter. My grief has changed since then, but I am not fully over losing him. Part of me has not fully accepted his departure. I am not really surprised at this discovery. Not really.

While I am glad I got out of the house for a while, I was only more saddened by the sight of the homeless animals. I thought of my former cats Dex and Jasmine who I adopted from the SPCA.  Someone at the cat rescue booth suggested people take pictures of the kittens to post to social media. Once it occurred to me that I could help out, I had already begun to walk to my car. I simply lacked the energy to seize the moment. I feel like those shelter animals: abandoned, lost, empty, and sad.

I am not a stranger to depression. In this instance it is mostly situational. Practically everything in my life has disintegrated before my eyes. What I tell suicidal clients is that we are here for a reason and it is not our choice to end our lives. I am here to see how it all plays out. But at this moment it does not look good.

Half- Birthday Greetings!

Howdy litebeings and welcome to all my new followers! Today is my half-birthday and that makes me 56 1/2 years old in Earth time. More like 17 inside and 90 outside ( and sometimes the reverse is true). In my case, the sun also squares my Ascendant! It makes life a bit intense at times.  Anyway, I have been somewhat absent from WP and want to say hello and update you a little on the past few weeks.

I am still waiting for my car to be returned to me and I am glad that it will be finished after Mercury and Venus stationed direct. I have Venus ruling my 3rd house and this episode seems to be linked with Venus and Mercury moving backwards through my 2nd house of possessions. Uranus is still transiting my 2nd house also and this may have triggered the accident.

Internally I have been feeling alternately fearful, overwhelmed, and hopeful. Sometimes these emotions appear together. I have been getting interesting guidance lately. Most of the time it appears subtly, but this week the messages were very obvious. I have plenty to ponder.

Future posts:

1 Dreams and synchronicity 

2  Book review on the Quaker Spiritual Path

3  Film review on a movie about Synchronicity

4 Emerging intuitive process

While I strive to be organized and efficient ( Virgo north node), I allow myself to veer off when necessary. I will be back soon to finish responding to all your wonderful comments.

namaste, litebeing

Dreamers Unite

UPDATE: I listened to the call last night and feel asleep. I have heard the information is better received this way, but that was not my intent. I did recall an interesting dream last night, so that is encouraging. I hope to listen to the replay so my conscious mind can be informed. Did anyone else hear the event?

Howdy Litebeings! I recently got wind of a free on-line Shamanic Dreaming event with Robert Moss. It takes place on Wednesday April 19th. I know it is short notice, but you know how it goes. If you are called, you are CALLED!

Here’s the link: http://theshiftnetwork.com/IroquoisTradition

Robert Moss is a true dream-worker, accomplished author and accessible writer and his book Conscious Dreaming is glorious.

That’s all folks………   ( for now)

Goddess Sighting

Feeling the love or feeling the pinch?

I have been sitting on this post for some time now, waiting for an indication that I have received and integrated the significance of this Venus retrograde cycle. And yet I want to post before the cycle ends. So in the spirit of Libran compromise, I am writing midway into Venus’s backward motion through the signs of Aries and Pisces.

Here are the important dates:

Venus stationed retrograde on March 4th at 14 degrees Aries

Venus formed a conjunction with the Sun on March 25th

Venus re-enters Pisces on April 2nd

Venus stations direct on April 15th ( my mom’s birthday) at 26 degrees Pisces

Venus, the goddess of love, otherwise known as Aphrodite, is the ruler of both Libra and Taurus, so look to your 2nd and 7th houses in your natal chart, along with your Libra and Taurus placements ( in addition to your Venus placement), to get a sense of your Venus potential. For this cycle, look to where you have Aries and Pisces to track how Venus will affect your life at this time.

This go round has Venus re-activating my 2nd house of finances and values, with a brief re-appearance back in my 1st house of self.  Unexpected expenses have become overwhelming and clients are presenting with self-esteem issues, reflecting back to me my past inability to love myself before another.

all recent venus images wikipedia.org public domain

In my lifetime, this transit has been very powerful for my love life on two separate occasions. I went through a very fated and painful love affair in 1989 ( in my 12th house) that taught me much about being careful about what you wish for, because you might get it! I chose a charming, dangerously handsome Leo man and was more interested in “getting him” than learning about who really was behind the facade. Then in 2004 I met James when Venus was retrograding in my 4th house, conjoining my moon. This was about a mystical soul re-union. These transits are much more potent when significant angles and planets are involved. You will not be affected by all Venus retrogrades, nor will you even notice some of them. That’s how it goes.

While my expectations for this Venus cycle are low, the month beforehand was quite spectacular and unusual.

I typically do a short card reading ( tarot or other type of cards) with every lunation and significant astro-event.  For the Aquarius New Moon ( in 12th house) on 1-28-17 I used the Goddess Tarot and pulled the following cards:

 Recent past: King of Cups

 Present: Venus

 Near future: King of Staves

What is interesting is that I rarely get the Venus card when I read for myself. I found this to be noteworthy.  Since it was in my 12th house, I wondered if this may manifest as a connection with an old love. That did not happen, but what did occur was so much more exciting!

I awaken on the morning of 2-4-17 from an unusual dream. While sitting alone by a body of water I notice a tall woman with dark hair. She is quite striking and resembles a super – heroine.  She comes closer and I become frightened. She begins to attack me. Upon awakening, I notice her sitting on my bed. She is leaning over me and takes off her clothes. This makes me quite uncomfortable. Then she says ” I have a message for you. ” I ask her to tell me the message. I do not remember her answering me. Then I really wake up and wonder what just happened?

I meet that day with my Spiritual Director who is riveted by my experience. She tells me that the female I encountered was Venus and that the goddess of the air and sea typically appears naked! I was astounded to consider that I had a goddess sighting. This explains why I meet her by the water and why she took off her clothing.  She is convinced that I received a visitation and that Venus’s emergence could in fact be the message. This certainly gave me pause.

Certain songs came into my consciousness during this period. I used some of them with my clients to emphasize self-love. I have played many of them over and over to really embrace their essence and absorb the positive energy.

Please take a listen:

Video

Venus

I’m Every Woman

 

This final song really drives home the theme of this transit for me. Self-love is more than just respect and dignity towards one’s personality and body. It is about alignment and expression of the Divine that dwells within. If you listen very closely to the lyrics, the true meaning of this popular anthem will be revealed.

The Greatest Love of All

Please tell me about your Venus transit.

How has she appeared to you?

 

image credits ~ wikipedia.org, public domain

2017: Every New Beginning Comes From Some Other Beginning’s End

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Life is always in flux. While some forms are fading, others are blooming. The trick is to recognize which direction you are moving in and when to let go.

It is humbling to be nearing my fourth year of blogging and to be able to compose some thoughts about the year ahead and the year I lived through. The more I slow down, the easier it is for me to notice that existence has no clear demarcations. Astrologers love cycles and make mention of the significant planetary movements via stations, transits, and progressions. And yet, because of our cosmic fluency, we are perhaps more likely than most to acknowledge the fragility and malleability of time. Time and music marry well together and led me to use Closing Time in this post title.

To understand where I am today, it is necessary to return to April 2016. At the New Aries moon conjunct Uranus on April 7th, I began to quietly look for jobs while feeling ill. In fact I saw my doctor that very day.  I was being treated for a possible diverticulitis attack on an outpatient basis, thank goodness. One by one calls for interviews slowly began streaming in. You know, when it rains it pours. This was right before the Mars retrograde at 9 degrees Sag on 4-17-16. The day before my first job interview ( April 14th) I felt ill. I went to the doctor that morning with chest pains. This has happened before. I was cleared and happy to report my gut was much improved. About an hour later I felt waves of nausea and what seemed to be a knife going through my reproductive organs. No fun at all.

I had a decision to make, a huge one. Do I continue to live walking on eggshells or do I start living again? I did something so unlike me: I got ready for my interview and drove over while in excruciating pain. I told myself I would power through this. I knew I was close to two hospitals and that whatever will happen, will happen. It was as if I reached the point of no return. I will live in this body or I will leave this body. I was through living on the sidelines. So I completed the interview and was amazed at my accomplishment. I felt worse as evening came and called myself an ambulance. I spent the night in the ER  and was released on April 15th.  The tests  found nothing wrong with me whatsoever. Yet my symptoms continued.  I was given opioids and anti-nausea meds and told to see my gynecologist to rule out fibroid issues. I was obsessed with not taking too many opioid pills. I think I was tuning into the Prince situation as he was hospitalized around the same time as me and died from an opioid overdose.  A few hours later a call came in for another interview. Two days later as Mars stationed retrograde ( close to my MC), I had a defining dream. It ushered in a sense of renewal regarding many aspects of my daily life. I blogged on it here as part of my challenge post.

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The interview call I received on April 15th turned into my current job. I still have this poster on my office wall. When I saw the poster, I became tearful. It was both so unexpected and so necessary. It is interesting that Mars, the ruler of Aries triggered my job search and eventually landing this position and also triggered my announcement of my transfer which begins on Monday. To some degree, the New Cap moon square Uranus direct in Aries signaled the new year cycle. Uranus is always change and Aries is the first sign on the zodiac. I was offered the transfer the day before the new moon and we made it official the next morning December 29th. The energy shifted for me that morning and I sensed more peace. While I am sad to see my friend move on, her decision to leave led to an opportunity for me to take her position. I will still have the same role, but with new clients and some new staff. With two of the new colleagues I have already built an easy, pleasant rapport. I also get to move my office to a more spacious and private location. I am hopeful it will be a more harmonious move on all fronts.

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I have some great news regarding my health. After working with Wendy the herbalist/nutritionist for about 6 months, we reran some blood tests to track my progress. My primary doctor was stunned to report that my sugar levels dramatically decreased and this was without any medications! He said the change was significant and had to be attributed to lifestyle change. All my liver function blood tests were normal too. I still have to work on the LDL cholesterol, but it  is very significant that I went from diabetic range to borderline normal range on the A1C. I typically don’t like to go into such details here, but I want to suggest that if I can make this work that others can do the same. I am taking probiotics, drinking  a special herb combination in tea form,  decreasing  refined carbs, and adding more bitter greens and whole grains, among other things. While I will stress there is more to do and that I have regained a few pounds, it is so cool to see that I am capable of effecting change.

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So the promise of April with a dream of accomplishment and improved health led me to now. While I still have a void inside that is palpable ( Saturn transiting natal Venus return), my life has really changed since 2016. I have a new job, a new car, and better functioning pancreas and liver ( I am speculating based on the labs). I believe that the action of going to that job interview sick as a dog was a way of transcending the material 3D plane and operating as if I was pure spirit. We still have no idea what caused those symptoms, but it may have been associated with the antibiotics I was taking at the time. Or not.

I am so grateful to be working after about 18 months of unemployment and find it ironic that I keep seeing my former supervisor and supervisees at the last few mental health trainings. It appears to be more of this intermingling of the past, present, and future that I frequently write about on these pages. Time is fleeting and infinite, slow and rapid, stagnant and effervescent. We humans feel the impulse to label and celebrate time as a matter of ritual.

So here’s to a sparkling 1-7-17 to all, with Mercury stationing direct tomorrow ( 1-8-17) and 1-11-17 following close behind.