The Golden Road to Transformation

This one’s for Lynda! ” Once is a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right. ” Yes!

litebeing chronicles

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What a long strange trip it’s been, indeed.

My inspiration for the Time Machine Challenge started on a crisp and brilliant afternoon in September. If you are new to my blog or would like to catch up on your reading, please visit here to find the entire roster of spectacular challenge blogs. Reminiscing about my first September in Philly and the man who represented that era took me back to a state of excitement and joy.  I was amazed how my instantaneous flash of insight was later validated when I visited a website where that former boyfriend currently works. According to Michael Lutin, this time period before the New Scorpio Moon accentuates preoccupation and/or random encounters with past lovers or folks who trigger memories of former flames.

A few connections from Leigh and Laura gently guided me on a path of forgiveness and acceptance of the past. Leigh’s post

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In Plein Air

Last week I went to In Plein Air again and threw out my back. Go figure! As I contemplate John Mayer’s role in the Grateful Dead 2.0 version, I am reminded how much his song Daughters resonates for me. This is for all the fathers and children ( and adult children). Happy Father’s Day! PS I will be back soon with new content, please be patient 🙂

litebeing chronicles

Is it just me or is time racing by with a vengeance? We have a second Sag full moon, the Summer Solstice in the Northern Hemisphere ( Happy Winter to our friends in the Southern Hemisphere) and Father’s day, all within 24 hours or less of one another.

This brings up plenty of stuff for me. Beginnings and endings, light and dark, knowledge and wisdom, fathers and daughters, presence and uncertainty.

Let’s begin with a touch of grace. Last Sunday I decided to have a brief stroll down Germantown Avenue to take in the Plein Air competition. Plein air is associated with the open air painting style found in French Impressionism. I live very close to the Garden district but rarely feel drawn to aimlessly wander up and down the avenue. But this event has a Parisian feel to it, so I figured why not?

After a healthy lunch, I…

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Monet wikiart.org public domain

1111 ~ Just the Beginning

As if 11-11 isn’t enough, we’ve got a 19 degree Scorpio New Moon,  Diwali, and Veteran’s Day. There is a lot going on, that’s for sure. To top it all off, my birthday week is still in motion.

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That is a picture of my birthday cake taken by a friend. It has 1 candle so it works well with the 11 – 11 theme. As a gift to me and you, I am going to disclose my age. Some of you may know this already, but I turned 55! For so long, I have hidden certain facts about myself from myself. In other words, I don’t feel middle-aged inside ( most of the time), so I tell myself I cannot be my given age. I have posted before on aging and I still have work to do on acceptance. The first step is to stop tiptoeing around this subject. So I am 55, woohoo!

Besides, the age fits in so well with this post, so why not take the plunge? As I have mentioned before, becoming old enough to retire has been a tough pill to swallow. Let me explain further. When I joined city government, I had just turned 27. My birthday was on a Friday 11-6-87. Just 2 days earlier, on Wednesday 11-4-87, I met a man who was to become one of the major loves of my lifetime ( and probably other lifetimes.) On Monday 11-9-87 I started my first day of work and many of my coworkers were much older. They talked daily about reaching age 55. Then they could retire and take a full pension. Try as I might, I had a difficult time picturing myself at age 55. Guess what, I still do. But back then this age became a symbol of the end of the road. During the 18 years of my employment with the City,  I continued to hear about turning 55.

Now I am here. So what’s next?

Lots of synchronicity and a few more 5’s.

I find it fascinating that on the year I turn 55, all the days of the week line up just like they did in 1987. I thought that this would happen every 7 years, but it doesn’t due to leap years. I have been thinking of that 27th year quite a bit lately as I have anticipated this birthday. An unusual synchronicity capped it all off nicely: I was watching the docuseries Vice on Monday. It was a special segment on mass incarceration and the war on drugs. I highly recommend it if you want to learn more about how non violent offenders fare under the current system. Most of the episode takes place in a Oklahoma federal institution. Towards the end of the segment, they switch the focus to Philadelphia. All of a sudden I see a still shot of my old office from 1987. So on Monday 11-9-15, I am viewing my old office building exactly 28 years after I started working there, Monday 11-9-87. Why a show about prisons would be doing a feature on my city office building is strange indeed. What is super strange is the day I decide to watch it. The episode is old. But I rather randomly tuned in on Monday.

Yet if you have been reading this blog for a while, you understand. I set this in motion with my thoughts and the Universe delivered it to me in an unimaginable way.

wikimedia free domain

So how about more fives?

Yesterday I reached level 55 on Farmville 2. That’s when I decided I would come clean about my age. This was after I kept noticing the $5.55 pizza sign at the local 7-Eleven ( 7-11 ) . So many numbers!

5 is ruled by Mercury and has to do with change and new beginnings. Effective today Saturn is transiting exactly conjunct my Midheaven. Guess what degree? 5 degrees Sagittarius. This is a humongous transit, a milestone that occurs once ever 29 years or so signifying the pinnacle of one’s calling coming into manifestation. To quote my blogger pal Amanda, I wonder if I am failing this transit.

But I digress and I will leave that thought for another time. Perhaps I should just leave it altogether.

To learn more about the numerology of 5 , visit this site.

Another synchronicity is that I changed my challenge post at the last-minute to one about the Grateful Dead. I mentioned in the post that a new incarnation has formed with John Mayer called Dead & Company. At the time I know they were playing on the East Coast. They were in Philly on 11-5-15 and DC on 11-6-15. On 11-7-15 they were back in NYC for a free show. Later that day ( still technically my solar return), I discovered a free livestream concert was available to anyone with wi-fi. So here I am watching a free Dead concert from my couch. Talk about manifesting out of the ethers!

One more 5 fact before I go, my sun is on the 5th house cusp for this year’s solar return. Change is on the way!

Happy 11-11 New Scorpio Moon! If I keep seeing 11s and 5s , they combine to 6s and 6 = love.  Wishing you love and lite on this lovely double Scorpio evening.

Dead & Company

wikipedia.org public domain

The Golden Road to Transformation

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What a long strange trip it’s been, indeed.

My inspiration for the Time Machine Challenge started on a crisp and brilliant afternoon in September. If you are new to my blog or would like to catch up on your reading, please visit here to find the entire roster of spectacular challenge blogs. Reminiscing about my first September in Philly and the man who represented that era took me back to a state of excitement and joy.  I was amazed how my instantaneous flash of insight was later validated when I visited a website where that former boyfriend currently works. According to Michael Lutin, this time period before the New Scorpio Moon accentuates preoccupation and/or random encounters with past lovers or folks who trigger memories of former flames.

A few connections from Leigh and Laura gently guided me on a path of forgiveness and acceptance of the past. Leigh’s post on the  ho’oponopono prayer got me thinking of all the guilt and regret that still remains within me. An unexpected email from a stranger set in motion a fresh attempt to reframe any past relationships. I am speaking of the ones that seemed to stick with me, defying all my efforts to sever lingering cords. That stranger who contacted me is now a friend who readers know as Laura.

So I set out on an adventure to forgive all my past romantic entanglements, beginning with the first and moving towards present time. I would recite ho’oponono before falling asleep and visualize myself back in time with these former flames. It was often unpleasant as long forgotten details resurfaced. I was also looking to explore with fresh eyes the circumstances in which my ex from college would re-enter my life. I am seeking clues as to what his presence symbolizes for me now. I expected this process would eventually lead to healing. Truth be told, this exercise has been met with much resistance. However, I still am pursuing this path, hoping it is a “path with heart.”

But it is a path unfinished and did not reveal a story for the challenge. Around the same time ( late September) I followed up by contacting the director of the group practice where my ex works to inquire about employment. I did so because my ex works at their other location and my friend spoke so highly of the director. This contact led me to the discovery that I cannot get re-credentialed at my level of licensure. Perhaps this was a blessing in disguise because if I was hired and unable to work, the fallout would have been more upsetting and more time would have been wasted.

So I put off writing a post and hoped for the best. After reading Fiona’s challenge offering, I remembered an unfinished draft from July. Oddly enough, it addresses the challenge beautifully. Why am I surprised to discover that yet again Spirit has other plans?

So without further adieu I bring you my nonlinear, unplanned, but totally cool trip back in time:

See that girl, barefootin’ along,
Whistlin’ and singin’, she’s a carryin’ on.
There’s laughing in her eyes, dancing in her feet,
She’s a neon-light diamond and she can live on the street.

Hey hey, hey, come right away
Come and join the party every day.

Well everybody’s dancin’ in a ring around the sun
Nobody’s finished, we ain’t even begun.
So take off your shoes, child, and take off your hat.
Try on your wings and find our where it’s at. *

Was it 2015 or 1978 or perhaps 1967 ?  You decide:

July 4, 2015:

I had just received some long over -due money. I noticed that the Grateful Dead were live streaming their Chicago Fare Thee Well  50 year anniversary reunion concerts on On Demand. The fees were pricey but I had extra money. I deserved to splurge on something fun and purely entertaining. I had not seen any assembly of the Dead in decades and I was not going to be teleported to Chicago, sans an airplane ticket and place to stay. The concerts were to be held over 3 nights. This could be my last chance to see them perform, ever. Which night do I choose?

I could not justify viewing all 3 shows. I finally decided that July 4th would be the one. My reasoning was they would be settled in after the 1st show and since I associate the Dead with parties, why not celebrate America’s birthday in style? This decision was an arduous process. As an INFJ, I like to ponder and deliberate, often to a fault. In this case, I am glad I took my time.

Earlier that day I spotted a HUGE beetle like creature on my bedroom door. It seemed almost alien-like. I was terrified but managed to flush it down the toilet. Dexter was oblivious to this terrifying menace, but it certainly got a reaction out of me. I looked up beetle online to see what I could find here.

By J. Coelho [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

This image is a rather close approximation. While I found the various interpretations fascinating, the following paragraph holds true till the present:

Perhaps the most profound lesson the beetle shares with us is the lesson of transformation and adaptation. Beetles engage in metamorphosis for development and growth. From egg to adult, they are a marvel of transformation illustrated in a short lifetime. They go through these revolutionary transformations with aplomb, very nonchalantly and matter-of-factly. Beetles embrace the flow of life and all its transitions without question. They surrender to change.

Looking back, I realize that this was my final complete weekend with Dexter. I was blissfully unaware that he would be leaving me so soon. Yet I did surrender to change and enter into a phase of transformation. The beetle sighting was fortuitous as it signals a new way of being on the planet. I would venture a guess that Dexter is more adaptive than I have been, given his loving demeanor in spite of multiple placements and tricky health issues.  We have so much to gain from the natural world.

Post beetle episode, I am ready for the concert. There was so much to take in and integrate.  Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined watching a live concert on TV in this fashion. The word surreal is not superfluous in this instance. The telecast was filmed so you were truly in the moment, without commercials and artificial editing. I cannot exactly describe it, but it was quite close to being there in Chicago.

It turns out I almost lived in Chicago. My parents traveled their often as it was where my dad’s company’s main headquarters were located. It is also where they purchased my very first astrology book. I still have it and it was published in the 1960s. I also made a wonderful friend from Chicago who I met in Miami. We both stayed at the same hotel for 2 years over Xmas holidays. We became pen pals and I never forgotten her. Plus I have some online blogger buddies from Chicago so the city keeps appearing in my life.  I recently found out that we almost moved there when I was young. My mother revealed that my dad was offered a big promotion at the main headquarters. I was shocked to hear that he turned it down, given we moved around so often.  So here I am focusing in on elusive and mysterious Chicago. Here’s yet another example of the road not traveled.

wikipedia.org public domain

The music itself was very moving. The pace was slow and many of the songs were folksy and bluegrass style. The evening progressed like a heartfelt lullaby. Yet at certain points the mood shifted and the pace quickened. I had not been feeling well and was functioning on little energy. But I was propelled to get off my couch and dance. One song in particular set me in motion like a dervish. The Golden Road to Unlimited Devotion was playing. I could have been hallucinating , but I was lucid and sober. As Dexter watched, I began to swirl. This is MY song and I have never heard it performed live. I felt as if another force was propelling me into seamless, graceful, dizzying, flight. How did I get so energized? What was the source of all this power inside of me? I was floating on air, whizzing in circles, free of obstructions or constraints. I was on fire!

Later I researched the show online to read about the setlist. I came upon this article that blew my mind wide open. Here is what was written about the Golden Road performance:

Next up was “The Golden Road (To Unlimited Devotion),” a song Jerry Garcia wrote about the Haight hippie scene that The Grateful Dead only played a handful of times in 1967. Bruce Hornsby and Trey Anastasio fronted the group on the obscurity.

My favorite ( among favorites such as Eyes of the World, Sugar Magnolia, Truckin’, Scarlet Begonias, US Blues, and Box of Rain, to name a few) is basically a favorite of the few. It was last performed in 1967. I had not even heard of the band until 1977 and had not attended my first show until 1978.  It is probably a statistical anomaly that this song was performed on the exact night I decided to watch the show. This is not just a song to me. It is an anthem. I was this chick in the song in high school and college. Or at least I imagined myself to be like her. She was free and blissful and at peace. Perhaps I longed to get out of my own way so I could be her.

I actually transformed into her a few months earlier. Here is an excerpt of my May 26th post on dream number 3 of an incredibly active sojourn of slumber.

May 26, 2015 ( circa 1978?)

And now for something completely different:

3 – Went back in time to the 1970s. Lots of teens around, big crowd. I run into a friend.We will call him “Sam.” He used to be my dream prompt. Seeing him meant I was dreaming. He has not appeared in years though. There was to be a 1970s party. I was excited about this. My friend “Sam” said I would like to dance with you , big smile. I was so excited and I typically don’t like to dance. Lots of love between me and Sam, unlike real life where we were longtime yet intermittent, platonic friends. I knew him from when I first moved to NJ in the middle of 6th grade through the summer after HS grad when our families vacationed at the same hotel down the shore. At the party, there was such a joyous atmosphere. The room was dark and the music was psychedelic. Sam and I hit the dance floor and did our thing. We were both young but I danced with the confidence of a more mature person. In high school I would have not felt as eager to express myself this freely.

When I turned around I saw a young Bob Weir singing Grateful Dead music. It was a big surprise. I have dreamed of Bob and Jerry( Garcia) many times before over the years. Sometimes while dreaming I talk with them. In this dream I did not know Bob, nor did I interact with him. I was so excited and remembered Sam was there at my first Grateful Dead concert in 1978. The same day he and his band performed a concert at the high school. A group of us began to chant the date of that concert 5-13-78. ( later I checked and that was the actual date of the concert. How did I remember that?) It was wild. I said to him “You were in a band!” I think he was the lead singer. My friends who attended the concert with me were at this party or at the very least I mentioned them to Sam. Some of Sam’s friends were also there. Sam and I were becoming a couple and were very happy. I felt loved and adored.

What was so interesting was the Bob Weir became the face of the Dead once Jerry Garcia passed away. He was my favorite anyway so I would always focus on Bobby. I was also stunned to realize the prophetic nature of this dream. I was seeing Bob Weir perform and dancing as if no one was watching. I was imbuing my current knowingness into the past.  What a wild ride of past and future morphing together in Dreamtime. You could say that for a few short minutes I was livin’ the dream.

I said Fare Thee Well to Dexter one week later. I also learned that the farewell concerts were not the last. A newly formed group called Dead and Company featuring Bob Weir, John Mayer ( another Libra with loads of Scorpio) , Mickey Hart, and others have begun touring recently so the music apparently never stops in some form.

Update: Apparently Dead and Company were performing in Philadelphia last night ( 11-5-15) while I was completing this post. The synchronicity continues…

We never know how much or how little is happening at any given time. I did not know that my current physical body possessed that much energy. I certainly never expected to hear the Golden Road performed live and in real-time in my living room. Life is a mystery that keeps surprising me, just when I think I’ve got it all figured out.

But I have figured out one important lesson. I want to play! Perhaps having the experience of both spontaneity, exuberance, and confidence will assist me in replicating this behavior going forward. My birthday is approaching as I type and I have set my intention to be that girl from the Golden Road. Being free and playful and in motion is the way. 

The time machine kept me quite busy, transporting me to and from Philly to Chicago and to 1967 ( around the year I began studying astrology), 1978,  2015 and beyond. My consciousness flowed from waking state to frenzied ecstasy to Dreamtime. My challenge was not what I intended upon its inception in September. Yet I took the steps necessary to get me to this point. Now I am ready to try on my wings.

*lyrics credit

Here’s a video of the original 67 performance.

Here’s what I saw on 7-4-15.

Thanks to all for another spectacular blogging challenge. They keep getting better because WE keep getting better.

image credits: beetle by J. Coelho [CC BY 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons dervishes images, wikipedia.org, public domain
header image, wikipedia.org, public domain

Pause Exhale Repeat

Lake_Billy_Chinook,_Deschutes_National_Forest,_Oregon_(photo_by_Bob_Nichol)

click for post soundtrack

Another Labor Day said and done. Another summer over in the ole US of A. Okay. In my world, these artificial delineations don’t really take. I wake up lately not knowing which day it is. Wonder when I will have to start taking notice of these silly details? I have been taking notice of not so silly details. We’ll get to them later..

So much is happening astrologically that it can be overwhelming. Eclipse season, Mercury retrograde, Saturn returning to Sagittarius, yada yada yada. How do we ride the waves?

PAUSE, EXHALE, REPEAT

Writing aka blogging is one choice I make to follow these instructions. Gathering thoughts ( mine, others, the collective,etc) and arranging them into sentences. Choosing images, tags, categories, the whole enchilada. It relaxes me and helps me focus. I highly recommend writing to the uninitiated. Blogging or any creative outlet that allows the real you rise to meet the horizon.

Spent part of my day at the diner with a friend. At first the crowds and noise bothered me. It is an introvert thing. But when our table was ready, I was able to get back in the moment. We got such a great booth, by the window and all the way in the back. The irony here is that on an uncrowded day, I would have requested a particular room. Today we were lucky to just get seated. So imagine my surprise that we got the best booth in the house.

Drinking really good coffee and chatting with a friend was a nice way to spend part of the holiday. The conversation flowed with the coffee and I began to enjoy this crowded space with what seemed like hundreds of other customers.

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After my friend left, I lingered awhile to finish my coffee. I was grooving on the music playing in the background. This diner seems to feature old school sounds from many genres, Rock, soul, pop, blues, jazz, funk. I began to hear the familiar melody of a Grateful Dead song, After careful consideration, I identified Ripple as the tune. Didn’t I just hear that while watching the film Wild this weekend? yup. Wasn’t it also featured by Playing for Change? yup. Wasn’t it also part of the post- concert show on pay per view that I have yet to blog about? yup. Do 3 yups constitute a pattern ? yup.

While I am taking in the soulful sounds, I am thinking about the past few weeks. I have been busy catching up with friends and family and having a wonderful time. The company of others has been healing. My life doesn’t suck right now. hmm…..

I begin to cast my gaze over to a row of pictures across from me as Ripple continues to move along. What do I see but a poster for Casablanca? What are the odds? There is clearly some order to this universe I find myself in, fueled by good coffee and a window view.

Before I grab my purse and head over to the cashier to pay the bill, I remember to

PAUSE, EXHALE, REPEAT

 I plan to carry on with this exercise well into the cooler days, shorter nights, and later months that also end with R. I need more than good coffee to keep these ripples in motion.

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine
And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung
Would you hear my voice come through the music
Would you hold it near as it were your own?

It’s a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken
Perhaps they’re better left unsung
I don’t know, don’t really care
Let there be songs to fill the air

image credits: wikipedia.org, public domain
wikipedia pub domain

Solstice Supreme ~ Let Your Light Shine

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Sunset is one of my favorite times of day. It is a liminal time and quite spectacular. With the Solstice upon us ( in my 5th house) and Jupiter trine Uranus sparking my Venus in Sag, my Leo energy is lit up like a Christmas tree! Leo is the ruler of the Sun and while today our Sun enters the sign of Cancer, the current energies are more fiery and incendiary. I have found this weekend full of unexpected fireworks and am hoping the sun will keep all of us warm and sparkly. For those in the Southern Hemisphere, I hope you are in alignment with the transition into the tranformational nature of Winter.

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I don’t have anything particularly profound to say except that the light is always accessible. Conscious breath , a slower pace, and living with intention make a difference for me. I could focus on the bleakness that Father’s Day holds for me, or I could celebrate the men who commit to parenting and strive to be their best selves for their families. That is preferable to seething in bitterness and regret regarding men who failed to live up to their responsibilities and created negative ripples.

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Like I wrote in a recent post, it is better to walk and don’t look back. If I can love myself enough to be love in the world, I am on a correct path. If I can love those who were not parented well, simply because they are consciousness, all is well. My mother reminded me today of the reactions of the loved ones who lost many in the Charleston murder tragedy. They love and forgive with vulnerability, purity, and passion. They are instruments of love. They shine with the brilliance of our star, the sun.

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This blog is called litebeing chronicles because I seek to shine brightly and be a light for the planet. My stories illustrate my struggles and my triumphs. My chart ruler is Leo and it sits in the 7th house of relationships. I aspire to shine in service to others, knowing on another level, the other is a projection of me. Non duality can be quite heady and elusive, but that does not deter us from doing our best.

wikipedia pub domain

I chose 3 songs to provide a Solstice Soundtrack: 1  Shine by Collective Soul, 2 Turn on Your Love Light by the Dead, and 3 Light My Fire by Jimmy Morrison.

1 I just could not resist :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Xo1z6CVumc

2 Performed on Summer Solstice 1989

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-aNAIo2v7k

3 This video runs for 11:11 minutes so I had to choose it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-0bqonqooo

Which songs remind you of Leo or the Sun? Do tell!

Blessings on this Solstice Sunday dear radiant litebeings.

 

images credits: wikipedia.org public domain

Earth Day 2013

By Jean Tosti (Own work) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons

The Magnolia is my favorite tree this time of year. I watch for her to come into bloom faithfully every late March though mid April. Why are some forms of life like the Magnolia blossom both so exquisite and so fragile? Why are they often so delicate and so quick to transition?

wikimedia.org public domain

Perhaps the Magnolia’s fragility and delicacy are reminders that what is regarded as ephemeral requires respect, awe, and care. Our planet is not ephemeral, in fact the Earth is amazingly resilient. However, resilience cannot be mistaken for immunity from neglect, indifference, or lack of appreciation. Gaia contains many mysteries and secrets at her core, just like all the life forms that spend time here. Let’s honor her sacred splendor with respect, awe, and care.  Happy Earth Day!

http://cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedista:Zp http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5/deed.cs

I just couldn’t resist this blissful rendition of an old anthem from my youth:

first image by http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Jeantosti  (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)]

second image by wikipedia.org

third image by  http://cs.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedista:Zp                 http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5/deed.en