Welcome to my World

Two posts in one day! Well, I promised I ‘d be back soon so here I am. About five years ago I was diagnosed with Diverticulitis. There have been many different symptom presentations, multiple ER and hospital stays, numerous medications, way too many opinions, and lots of medical bills. I hoped that certain astrological transits would end my misery, but no clear pattern so far. I have enjoyed some long periods between attacks, along with several multiple episodes within days or weeks. I am experiencing a relapse today and have had about 4 episodes since Thanksgiving 2019.

I have learned so many things about myself and my body since then. In some ways, I am healthier and wiser. Stress is a strong trigger for me, often recognizable in the form of compulsive negative fear-based thoughts. I am a therapist, so trust me I know how this works.

But I did not return tonight to talk about my stressors. This planet is enveloped in stress right now. I rather emphasize the importance of becoming more flexible. I had to cancel attending a friend’s wedding right after my first episode and I waited until almost the last minute to decide. I was angry and sad and it sucked. But as time went on, I became adept at canceling plans and staying home. Eventually, resentment waned and I surrendered to my new reality. I told myself I will be present for all the events that I am supposed to attend. I will see the people I need to see and do the work I was placed here to do. I am not driving this train, but I can make the best of my situation. I actually enjoy my own company and adore reading, writing, listening to music, watching compelling TV or film, etc. Yet I realize that this situation is more than a mere recuperation period.

In the last couple of weeks, I have been teaching gratitude practice to my clients. In fact, I have been a bit relentless. I know I am teaching what I need to learn. We all have so much to be grateful for at any given moment and I truly believe that our perception of gratitude multiplies in direct proportion to a sustained gratitude practice.

How do I know this?

I am blessed to have two lovely nieces that are shining stars. I have been texting them to keep up with their news. The other day I was asking Lily how she has been keeping busy and she was excited to talk about all her passions. She is eleven years old. I asked her to show me some of her art. The piece above is the first one she shared with me. There are no coincidences here!

Split Sky

Lily gave me permission to post here and use her first name. I love the title split sky. I see it as significant in terms of how we process crisis. I am grateful for these wonderful souls who are full of love and energy. I am also grateful that I can work remotely from home. I am super grateful I can postpone paying taxes for a while. I will have more food now that I am eating less due to illness. I am over the moon that I got the last package of toilet paper while picking up my medication today.

I will be honest, it is a bit worrisome that I relapsed so soon, but I am much more aware of this illness five years in. But I have learned that I am really so much stronger than I ever imagined and quite certain I signed up to come to Earth for these times. It does not mean I like it, but I AM here now.

Loose Ends:  I tend to be an excellent commenter, but lately I have not been able to keep up with responses to comments on some of my posts. Allow me to take my time with this. I adore all of your comments and have not forgotten you, but I need to take more time.

Spring starts in a few hours in litebeing’s world: I concluded that the equinox ( Spring or Fall depending on the hemisphere) should coincide with Saturn’s ingress into Aquarius at 11:58 PM EDT ( right before midnight). Saturn rules our cosmic weather in 2020 and where Saturn goes, we should follow! So I suggest some sort of ceremonial practice to acknowledge this major sea change. I plan to do a meditation and perhaps pull a few cards. Saturn was last in Aquarius in 1994 during the Clinton years and the beginning of the internet explosion. Perhaps that will give us a clue about what this new transit will bring. In the meantime, please send some prayers, some to me for my healing and many more to all of us as we learn to be flexible throughout this “global reset. ” We are truly all in this together.