” Feeling Your Feelings Versus Telling the Stories. This month invites us out of mental loops and into the body. When we allow ourselves to truly feel, rather than repeat the story, healing and clarity arrive faster than we expect. ” Lee Harris, Feb Energy Update .
This quote from Lee Harris describes my process on February 4th. It was the anniversary of the evening I decided to take a friendship to the next level. That seemingly ancient decision had ever – lasting ripple effects that were not obvious at the time. Early February has already been very meaningful to me, but this date cemented my understanding of the power of romantic love. Some memories are too personal to share here. I will say that early on in this particular relationship I floated the notion that this will be my greatest love. That no one will ever have this impact on me . So far it turned out to be true. How was I to know this in my twenties? I was not that experienced with love. How could I possibly arrive at this conclusion? It is hard to say if this narrative became reality a la Joe Dispenza, meaning that this loop hard – wired my reality. Or that it was destined to be true.
In any event, this February 4th I found myself listening to Pandora and feeling into the event. The emotions were so intense and I have no inkling why. There is no clear astrological explanation. I experienced incredibly profound sadness and longing. Words do not really properly describe the flavor of this state of being. I was truly surprised to find myself in this space. I made the choice to allow myself to feel into it. Easier to tell clients to do this on the regular than practice it myself. I knew it would not hurt me, but it was very unpleasant. My heart was shattered.
Long ago I often felt this way remembering him and what we lost. Years have passed. I doubt we could have remained together. This would have required the level of change most people are unwilling to attempt. I had felt love again after him, but not to that level. My time with a man I call James was magically unique, but not in a romantic, physical way. I am glad I could reflect on this narrative and realize that loneliness and alienation can be remedied in each moment of joy. Feeling my emotions allows me the grace of not perpetuating a stagnant narrative.
This lover often told me ” Take me to the Red Sea ” when we argued and he felt frustrated. It was the name of a favorite place of ours. However sometimes I heard a different tone. Maybe we actually were together at the actual Red Sea. Spiritually the meaning of this biblical location is transformation. Our time together definitely was transformative, but not in the form that I wanted.
Enjoy this video from Robert Plant, a romantic Leo heartthrob of long ago.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
cover image courtesy of litebeing chronicles © 2026, remaining images from wikipedia.org public domain
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