My Awakening Experience and Moving On: It is always about love

key_eternity

Please play this while reading :  Collide

The dawn is breaking

A light shining through

You’re barely waking

And I’m tangled up in you

Yeah

Fitting words from the song Collide by Howie Day for an experience that really defies the limits of human communication. This looks like the beginning of a romantic love story. Looks though, can be deceiving! On January 30th, Uranus the Awakener  ( modern ruler of Aquarius) is in full force. Today also marks the Chinese New Year, the Year of the Wood Horse. I chose today on this rare Black Moon, the Aquarius New Moon ( a few degrees behind my Ascendant) that also features Mercury conjunct Neptune to post my offering for my participation in Barbara’s January Challenge on Awakening. Thank you Barbara for giving me a nudge to look back at this time in order to gain some perspective and share with others.

It is an auspicious time to herald new awakenings ( Aquarius/Uranus) and write about mystical openings ( Mercury conjunct Neptune).  I am not claiming to be enlightened or awakened, far from it. Growth to me is both cyclic and nonlinear in nature. I envision a spiral when I reflect on my life thus far. I have moved through life with many highs and lows, but each time a challenge comes, I emerge somewhat changed and move further along the larger individual /collective spiral. I will now attempt to describe an experience that was otherworldly and incredibly trans-formative. While my memories have faded, I still see that this glimpse beyond the veil has relevance in my present life.  There have been many other openings before, and many since. But this particular time it was all about love. And love is all that really prevails in the energetic field of consciousness. I chose the song Collide because it was popular during the Summer of 2005 when I experienced this brief but poignant opening.  In fact I crafted my first blog series ~ The Collision Series, with both this song and that awakening in mind to illustrate how subtle awakenings can trigger a new ( or renewed) way of BEing.

Background

It helps to have some background, a context for my journey. I did not fit in as a child.  I felt alone, awkward, misunderstood, and unimportant. My parents desperately wanted a child, but not the one that they got!  Some respite was found in my imagination. My inner world and my curiosity were my refuge. The occasional teacher or neighbor offered guidance and a more progressive outlook. I also had a chance as a small child to visit my great – aunt and great – uncle a few times and use their art supplies.  I recall feeling excited and so at peace creating and learning about art, and feeling more understood by them than other adults in my family. I have a feeling that they were people who I had more in common with, but I will never know. I did not get an opportunity to know them well.

Fear, anger, and upheaval were a constant growing up in my complex, dysfunctional family. My parents were not equipped to love me in the way that I needed. It took years for this truth to become clear to me. I also felt isolated because we moved so often. I never knew my extended family very well because they lived far away from us. I began to gain some footing, however, once my  progressed sun moved from Scorpio to Sagittarius. I made some new friends that I could trust and thrived in their company. Yet when I began to heavily experiment with drugs and started having vivid dreams and  heightened psychic abilities, I was utterly alone. I had no one to confide in.  I eventually shut down out of fear. I attributed these ” experiences” to be artificially drug induced and unimportant. So I minimized them and packed them away for a while.

the_journey

My journey

Once I left home, moved into my own apartment out of state, and began my senior year in college I met a coworker who would days later become my boyfriend. Within less than 2 weeks, my life had dramatically shifted! This was an extraordinary time. He was involved in a spiritual cult based on Indian meditation and philosophical practices. I did not approve of his dependence on this “teacher” Osho/Rajneesh, but I was open to exploring my spirituality again. While I avoided involvement in anything cultish, my knowledge of astrology, dream-work, meditation, and metaphysics accelerated. I remained open and met more people ” on the path”.  In graduate school  a student led me to meditation classes at a center on South St. This is where I first saw the material from A Course in Miracles.  This center organized a retreat in the Pocono mountains. A couple I met at the retreat instantly bonded with me and invited me to a raw foods spiritual group. And on and on it goes..  I experimented with many teachings such as channeled lessons, RAMTHA,  raw food, A Course in Miracles, Hindu and Buddhist practices, Quakerism,and a few I no longer remember. I am so grateful for the people I met and the knowledge acquired.

goddess_between

Between two worlds

In 2004 I was very busy in the outer world. I had 2 demanding jobs; I was recovering from a devastating breakup with a coworker; I was fully ensconced in my Quaker Meeting community, and I was editing and co-writing a book with my friend. I had just transferred to a new unit at my government social service job, but (to quote Prince in Raspberry Beret ) ”  Seems that I was busy doing something close 2 nothing, but different than the day before.” My duties had become stagnant and stale in this toxic, soul-depleting environment. I knew I needed a change but my efforts to find a new job were unsuccessful. I was also looking to buy a house. Surprisingly, I could not find the right property.   I typically find whatever I like eventually, so this really had me baffled. So I sought out a clearness committee. Within Quakerism, the clearness committee represents a process for discernment.  I also continued  meeting with my spiritual advisor about figuring out my calling and defining next steps. I felt loved and supported outside of work, and tormented by ghosts and adversaries on the job. I also loved my editing/writing and it kept me going. Life was busy and moving at a rapid pace.

One day I was invited to attend a weekend workshop at Pendle Hill.  Pendle Hill is a Quaker center in Wallingford, PA that is internationally known for Spirit-led learning, retreat, and community.  My meeting agreed to pay for half of the tuition and Pendle Hill would absorb the remainder. I was so excited to get away, if even for just a long weekend. My book was about mystical experiences and my interest in the ethereal was heightened. I hoped to meet people with similar interests.

The first evening we gathered around in a large circle at the beautiful conference room at Brinton House and introduced ourselves. A couple of much younger people were sitting at the opposite end of this majestic room with beautiful hardwood floors and a cathedral ceiling. A young man with a foreign accent began to speak. I will call him “James”.  He used few words and was very soft-spoken. But I distinctly heard him say ” I have had a few mystical experiences.” No one else mentioned this topic that evening. I took it as a sign to introduce myself. The next morning I bravely went up to James and asked him if he would be willing to speak with me. He said we could talk after the workshop was over. James was new on staff at the retreat center and worked as a gardener. He had just returned from extensive travel overseas and actually grew up just a few miles away.  I was nervous about talking with him because he was so much younger than I, and I was feeling an attraction towards him that was subtle but uncomfortable. For the remainder of the weekend James would join my table for meals and look over at me during class sessions. He was observing me and again I was a bit unsettled.

We got together at the end of the weekend. We talked for hours about anything and everything. We had so much in common despite the age difference. Time and space dissipated. I told him things about myself that my closest friends did not know. I think this was because I figured I would never see him again. He was just staying here temporarily in- between his travels.  I saw the faces and smiles of all the men in my past in his expressions and his gaze. Light radiated from his eyes and it was dazzling and brilliant. I knew him and yet I did not know him. Venus had just gone retrograde ( on my moon) and conjoined the sun a couple weeks before. It was about to station near my IC in just 2 days. But I was not thinking about Venus because I was not looking for love…

magical_meeting

Magical meeting

In the year that followed , my life moved along. I had lost touch with James. The book project was suspended indefinitely, because my friend was distracted with other concerns. Work was tense and isolating. I continued to look for a house and a new job. I also continued to attend Quaker worship and meet with my advisor. I felt angry, tired, sad, and lonely. Neptune was slowly making its way towards my Ascendant at this time. I was looking forward to this major transit, but had no expectations on how it would manifest in me.  I noticed that Pendle Hill was offering a class on spiritual discernment. The same class was offered the year before and it looked really interesting. I received financial support for attending a 5 day class in the middle of Summer. I recall that I was put on a waiting list for the spiritual discernment class and another class that was offered a few weeks later. I eventually was contacted that there was a spot for me in the spiritual discernment class! Neptune would land on my Ascendant the very first night of the class. How exciting! My intentions were clear  for this 5 day class/ retreat. I was very focused on my goal – to decide whether or not to quit my full-time job and to consider new ways of following my calling.

I arrived to the center very stressed out and anxious. I was so eager to submerge myself in the calm yet powerful energies of Pendle Hill.  Upon arrival that evening at Brinton House, I went to the large wooden conference room after I unpacked my bags. It was around sunset and I felt a presence. I felt a sense of peace and excitement in the silence. It was familiar somehow. A Divine Spark was about to be ignited. I thought about James, the young man I met here in this very room. I had figured he was back traveling and creating new adventures for himself. Yet it seemed like he was in the room with me! On the first evening we all gathered in the main dining area for dinner. I went into the kitchen with my tray to get some dinner. I saw a young man working in the kitchen who looked a bit familiar but he had long hair and a beard. Literally  a few seconds later a woman in the room shouted ” James!” and he turned around. It was him!  He was still HERE.    I was partially in shock, but also felt a sense of confirmation that my intuition was in full gear back at the classroom. The next day I saw James at breakfast and we looked at one another. When he was right behind me while emptying our trays. I simply said hello and smiled. He responded by calling me by name and declaring that I came back  here to take the class I was curious about last year. How did he know? He then suggested we get together later. My head was spinning. Here I am with a strong mission and focus and this person comes back into my life. All of the sudden I feel myself being pulled into this vortex. How will I handle this cosmic curve ball?

We did meet for a few hours on  the day before I was scheduled to leave. Like before, we just talked and talked and talked and talked some more.  I was so blown away by our time together that I forgot when dinner was served and showed up an hour late. James was startled to hear I was leaving the next day , so he asked to meet again after my classes were over, just like last summer. I knew intuitively that there was something incomplete between us, so I agreed to meet one last time.

We met after my class ended , outside on this sweltering July afternoon. That’s when it happened. I could tell you where we sat and about the weather ( close to 100 degrees the entire week!) but I would be remiss to be able to logically explain what happened next. I felt like our spirits merged. I was totally understood and loved in a way that was new to me. Love without expectations. He wanted no-thing from me in return. I had never experienced this before!  We just listened to each other and let silence in, and shared who we are at a soul level. It seemed like we were blending our energies in our words and actions.  Neptune was on my Ascendant so perfect timing was in play. I did not realize it at the time, but I was getting an upgrade. There was no instruction manual. I doubt it would have made a difference anyway. I was on a magic carpet ride and there was no turning back!

While we were having our marathon encounter , I had a very unique thought. I heard my inner voice say ” If I were to die right now, it would be fine. I am at peace because I am totally understood , seen, accepted, and known.”  In fact at certain moments it felt like I was already in a higher dimension having my life review.  I was touched by Divine Love and everything was aligned. It was not about the young man really. Referencing our astrological synastry or the telepathy between us or other links is really superfluous in this case.  To quote what my friend, the talented psychic and astrologer Robert Graham , said when I later told him about what happened, ” He is just a clue.” What I mean here is that my openness to James created a portal to the Divine. Months later when we discussed our relationship, he admitted that when we are together, he would transcend. I learned or should I say re-membered about the power and magic of combining energies and raising the combined frequencies. A 3rd semi-distinct consciousness was created when we were together.  I was in a haze after we said goodbye. I walked around the grounds and saw light in the silence. I drove home on a busy interstate highway, but the car was driving me. Typically this road is scary and intimidating for me, but that evening I was lost in song and the car seemed to glide on the road. I lost all sense of time and space. I have no idea how I got home.

For a few more days I stayed with the light and bliss. I only had contact with James a few more times. But I realized that Robert was correct in that this man was not a goal. James was representative of the divine in action. I had reflected intently on an exercise held towards the end of the spiritual discernment class where we reviewed the names of various roles posted on the walls and recorded which ones were part of our calling. Mystic was one of the choices .  I decided that I was in fact a mystic, or at least a beginner mystic. I was very drawn to Rumi for inspiration.  The poetry of Rumi was very helpful in showing me examples of the Cosmic Union. This was not about romantic love at all and I saw that clearly. We were very intimately linked but not like romantic lovers. He was everything and nothing. He was family and a stranger all wrapped into one. We were so similar and yet so different. This experience was exquisitely a meeting of 2 energetic beings in a very strong portal ( Pendle Hill) at a time where Neptune was coming to my Ascendent. Time and Space collided in such a way to bring this potentiality into form.

alternative

Moving on

When I returned to work after my vacation, events occurred in a way that revealed it was time to move on. My Clearness committee was very helpful in assisting me in clarifying my experiences. So I lived on my ” house money” and quit my job before finding a new one. I was scared and liberated at the same time. I continued to notice light and symmetry in the silence, especially in nature. Communion with birds often triggered an opening for me.   I discovered that Pendle Hill and Longwood Gardens were “power places” for me. Eckhart Tolle talks about these portals in The Power of Now. My perspective on love between humans shifted as well. I now had a glimpse of what is truly real. Love without conditions. Love that pulsates all around us and within us. The song Collide is written from the man’s point of view and I believe it mirrors how I imagine James felt about our time together. Having said that; this song also resonates at a more cosmic level , especially the first section.

The dawn is breaking

A light shining through

You’re barely waking

And I’m tangled up in you

Yeah

The dawn was breaking within my being and the light was beginning to enter my awareness. I was barely waking to what waits beyond the physical plane. The entanglement was both between myself and this young man , and  also occurring at the quantum level. Was this awakening fleeting, ephemeral and anomalous? Was it a miracle in the purest sense of the word? Am I still wondering what more can happen as Neptune continues to spend many more years in my 1st house?

Hell, yeah!

Collide live    Still with me? Thank you if you read this entire story! This soulful version of the song , complete with a string section , is performed on the Dave Letterman show a few months before my experience. Notice how he mentions this track was mysteriously re-released?( and coincided with my awakening) Collide is the backdrop for that feeling of awakening and I was also re-released! Please click the link above ( Collide live) and feel the bliss.

related posts ~ if you read or re-read these posts again, you will better understand my muse….

https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/returning-home-the-series/

https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/06/18/poetry-the-wind/

https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com/2013/06/26/before-midnight-ill-love-you-long-after-youre-gone-gone-gone/

Tomorrow: January 31st,  Michael – http://navigator1965.wordpress.com

artwork by the transcendent Josephine Wall

Quick update: Funny how the time/space continuum likes to play with us. I chose these Josephine Wall images weeks ago in anticipation of this post. I used the top one, The Key to Eternity, as the primary image to capture the essence of my story. Notice the owl beside the purple rose? Well, the night before I completed and published this tale, I went to the dining room to draw down the shades and spotted what looked like a large ball of ice on my terrace railing. It seemed so out of place. Upon further inspection , the ice ball was in fact a large bird. It turned around to face me and I saw that it was an owl. I have never seen one up close before! It was amazing how it turned around to make my acquaintance, then swiftly turned back around and flew off with the most strong majestic wings. It reminded me of an eagle in flight. I take this as a sign that the universe approved of  my image selection and my awakening story.

1st     Barbara  – http://memymagnificentself.wordpress.com
2nd    Paddy    – http://paddypicasso.wordpress.com
3rd     Emanuel- http://emantable.com/musings-of-a-table/
6th     Julianne – http://juliannevictoria.com
7th     Sarah     – http://theskycladwriter.wordpress.com
8th     Shree     – http://heartsongsblog.wordpress.com
9th     Dace      – http://mywaytotruth.wordpress.com
10th   Korinn    – http://www.korinn.com
11th   Sindy     – http://bluebutterfliesandme.wordpress.com
12th   Stefanie – http://dancingwithstefanie.com
13th   Mick      – http://meticulousmick.wordpress.com
14th
15th   Megan   – http://mychroniclifejourney.wordpress.com
16th   Pat         – http://patinspire.org
17th   Marga    – http://lifeasimprov.com
18th   Kimberley – http://kimberlyharding.wordpress.com
19th
20th
21st   Heather     – http://wildflowerwomen.wordpress.com
22nd
23rd    Sue          – http://suedreamwalker.wordpress.com
24th    M…          – http://seeingm.wordpress.com
25th    Brian G    – http://middlepane.com
26th    Dotta       – http://dottaraphels.wordpress.com
27th    CW          – http://sunflowerrosecw.wordpress.com
28th    Laurie       – http://lauriesnotes.wordpress.com
29th    Debra       – http://ptero9.com
30th    Linda        – https://lindalitebeing.wordpress.com
31st    Michael     – http://navigator1965.wordpress.com
February
1st      Leigh        – http://bluegrassnotes.wordpress.com
2nd     Shaman   – http://shamanictracking.com
3rd     Joss         – http://crowingcrone.com
4th     Jenna       – http://jennadee222.wordpress.com
5th     Shelley     – http://livingwithshadows.wordpress.com
6th     Elisabeth  – http://almostspring.com
7th     Michael    – http://embracingforever.com
8th

9th

 

Advertisements

63 thoughts on “My Awakening Experience and Moving On: It is always about love

  1. Pingback: Goddess Sighting – litebeing chronicles

  2. Pingback: A Selection of True Awakening Experiences Part II: Litebeing Rising – litebeing chronicles

  3. Reblogged this on litebeing chronicles and commented:

    Ten years ago today was the culmination of a remarkably intense and joyful awakening experience for me. While James and I first met in 2004, it was not until the following year that everything aligned in Divine Order. It is interesting that Pendle Hill has contacted me this week via email and FB to consider writing about my time spent at their retreat center. It is also interesting astrologically that today’s transits are very powerful for me. Today is both my Mars return and transiting Jupiter conjunct my chart ruler ( Uranus.) Both events indicate a burst of energy and exciting beginnings. With all I have endured recently, I am certainly ready for new adventures and breakthroughs that propel me forward with joy and fulfillment.

    So I am re-blogging my awakening story in celebration of my ability to be open, embrace change, and boldly share my journey.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You are welcome. I shared it in 2014 but not everyone got to read it. It is part of an Ebook Barbara assembled for us. It is free and on my site.

        Collide was popular that summer and whenever I hear it I think of James and how beautifully mysterious collisions can be ( not car accidents though.)

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You will love this free Ebook. So many of our group wrote stories for it and they are gems. This is not the book I worked on in the early 2000s that now resides in a shopping bag on the floor. This is complete and published and tres cool. A link is on my blog.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I have briefly addressed this somewhere on the blog, but briefly: It was a collaboration with a psychologist artist friend who did extensive research into the distinctions between psychosis and spiritual awakening in terms of onset, manifestations, support, containment, and outcome. We were going to use this material as a spiritual education book to be used to educate people about spiritual emergency, healing, and mystical openings. If you are curious for more details, email me 😉 My passion for this topic continues but the book is probably going to remain unfinished.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Hi Linda,
        Sounds like an amazing project that deserves a good book to be written about it.
        I understand your sentiments. Having the passion does not always directly translate to a finished product (when life comes into play). I should email you. I’m curious as to what you believe it would take to finish this project.

        Thanks for sharing more info about it.

        hugs,
        o and om

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: Everything old is new again and again.. | litebeing chronicles

  5. Pingback: Everything old is new again | litebeing chronicles

  6. Pingback: Great Mystery New Moon | litebeing chronicles

  7. Pingback: Collisions with Gaia | litebeing chronicles

  8. Pingback: Mercury Musings and More! | litebeing chronicles

  9. Hi Linda,

    I love what I read of your story. I could only make it until you mentioned Longwood Gardens and it makes me buzz too much, some of it I know why and some I have no clue about, but I can’t finish it today. I will be back when Spirit moves me. I love how you describe your experiences and the story with James.

    I want to write more but have to end there for today.
    In peace,
    Sarah

    Like

      1. Finally got to finish reading it today along with a few other blog posts. I think you said the whole thing perfectly.

        And as a side note since I was scrolling through the comments, one of my main fascinations before I ever started a spiritual path and none of this crazy stuff has happened was the relationship between mysticism and psychosis. I searched for 15 years for a book that was out of print on the psychology of the kundalini experience only to find it a year and a half ago and then not read it but gift it to a friend. I swear, I truly have no clue what is going on. But I’m so glad you reposted this. Thank you.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hey Sarah,
        Really pleased you finished reading my awakening story. thanks for your kind words too. Lately a few folks have asked me about my project about mysticism and psychosis. It is a synchronicity that we share a passion for this subject. Odd that you gave away the book without reading it, but surely you had your reasons.

        It is a pleasure to share my life with spirits such as yourself who appreciate the journey.

        love, Linda

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: Re-volving, cycles, and feathers | litebeing chronicles

  11. Linda, apologies, I was certain I had commented upon this post.. But maybe I sent my reply in an email.. But I know I said how courageous you are in recounting your experiences..
    I can so relate to your experience… And sometimes when we meet another which you did which held such a powerful connection, its hard to explain in words.. For we as humans tend to put emotions into categories . Yet I so understand what you experienced was something what I would call ‘off world’.. I have had 2 such experiences.. one which happened which at the time I was unsure how to deal with..

    Many years ago while I ran a regular class in Spiritual development/awareness, a man came through the doors almost at the end of the evening, requesting guidance… He had experienced something quite alien to him some 6 months prior of a spiritual awakening, Which left him lost, bemused as to why he had been chosen, and seeking spiritual guidance.. The class went home and he was reluctant to leave, sensing he said that he had known me before .. I became uncomfortable and asked him to return to the class next week..
    He did and so he embarked upon his own awakening.. He said he had no intention of even knocking upon the spiritualists centres door that night, but had found himself driving past, and something propelled him to knock… He said the moment I spoke he knew he was in the right place.. He stayed only a short time His profession was trained in hypnotherapy.. and his logical brain and his experience had him questioning.. He and I would have deep conversations, and after a couple of months he sorted out his pathway and disappeared just as fast as he appeared.. That was just one such experience…

    I will share more with you later on another 😉 ..

    Your journey is set Linda, and the OWL experience is letting you know you are on the right path… and I love the images you chose.. Much love and again… So sorry I thought I had posted here.. But I was going through my own emotional turmoil around the time of your posting.. Hugs and Love and Light.. Sue xxxx

    Like

    1. Hi Sue,
      You did email a response back when I published the post! But not on the actual blog 🙂 I love this story and I knew somehow your commentary would inspire people so I am glad you shared it here. I do not think that I really understand what happened with me and James and I doubt he understood it either. For myself, I hope that it reminds me that existence is much more blissful and exciting than what we generally perceive, and that I am in fact ” on course “.

      Glad you are back on track as well 🙂

      love,
      Linda

      Like

  12. Yes, that is not ‘normal’, is often misunderstood. Maybe you are right, that ‘life’ and the spiritual ‘experience’ is strange, and then, people began to be angry with us, because they want, we should such as them!

    In my experience, if we want to achieve high spiritual consciousness, we have to do is simple. I practice in a way: I often ‘see’ and ‘think’ with NO FOCUS EYE VIEWS. This behavior lets me open the possibility that seems impossible. I glad to know you, Linda 🙂 🙂

    Like

    1. Hi Halil,
      Thank you so much for reading this very long post and taking the time to comment. I am not a big fan of normal, so that is okay be me.

      I am interested in your approach, Can you say more about NO FOCUS EYE VIEWS?

      Namaste,

      Linda

      Like

      1. I’ll make a full post about not focus view, tonight. I’m Sorry, my english is not good. The bottom line is:
        1. Not focus view, is the bridge between the mind (logic) and brain spiritual (soul).
        2. Not focus view, allowing us, look at the background of an object / event. Not only the foreground.
        3. Not focus view, allowing us to think with ‘sense of reason “, not just by logic alone.
        4. If we often think with ‘sense of reason’, we will get a ‘real truth point’.
        5 .. That is done by a wise people. 🙂 🙂 See you tonight. 🙂

        Like

      2. Thank you for trying to explain. I am so humbled by those who are multilingual. i struggle often to aptly communicate complex concepts in my one and only spoken language so…..

        looking forward 🙂

        Like

  13. Linda, your story strikes me as being related to the experience of “falling in love”, even without the romantic plot line, which is not relevant to being in love. (Rumi is great for carrying that recognition, I agree!) These events you describe have all the feel of an unexpected encounter with another being whose presence, for reasons maybe not entirely clear, inspires vulnerability, deep sharing, acceptance, and a safe forum for recognizing all that we each are within- a state of communion. And then, your lives continued, forever affected, but not perhaps forever intertwined or interwoven as other encounters of such depth sometimes ago. Thank you for the reminder of the ways Love makes appearances throughout our lives- sometimes as the protagonist, sometimes as an experience that drops out of the sky and, for just a brief moment, reveals Itself to us in ways that change everything.

    I am reminded of a story from one year I went to a soccer camp- probably at the age of 11 or 12. My friend and I went and shared a dorm room, and the set-up was four dorm rooms, two persons each, with a common living space in the middle. Somehow we had this experience with all of the guys in our cluster that for me was almost other-worldly, where we were all seated on the couches in the common room, and we were spontaneously playing this game where we were throwing soccer balls across the open space in the middle of the room to one another. We figured out a pattern, who threw the ball to who, and who they caught it from, and kept three or four balls flying back and forth. You had to just react, catch and throw without thinking, but it required devoted concentration. It may sound silly, but there was this moment when we were all intent on keeping this game going, keeping the balls flying without collision, making good throws the other guys could catch easily. It required full cooperation, undivided attention, and a kind of joyous, selfless type of play. There were no winners, no scores, no goals- just this “flow state” we entered en masse that I think we all felt.

    It was almost surreal. We exchanged phone numbers and such at the end of the week, but the moment was never recreated. Yet it touched me profoundly, and I think most all of the others, too. I still remember it today. But I only remember a couple of the person’s names. But for a moment it was almost like we stepped out of time, in perfect and selfless cooperation with a collection of strangers, basically.

    Anyway, beautiful story. Thanks for sharing it, and for listening to the echo it inspired.

    Michael

    Liked by 1 person

    1. These events you describe have all the feel of an unexpected encounter with another being whose presence, for reasons maybe not entirely clear, inspires vulnerability, deep sharing, acceptance, and a safe forum for recognizing all that we each are within- a state of communion.

      ~ This passage from your comment Michael is beautiful and quite true. In the beginning I was falling in love with a person, but later I realized it was much more than he or I.

      Your personal story is very intriguing to me and truly gave me pause. I think it is another example of a moment in time where we pierce through the veil and operate as if we are free of human limitations. Thank you for sharing it with me!

      peace,
      Linda

      Like

    2. Hey Michael,
      I wish I had realized sooner that we became acquainted back here about a year ago on Barbara’s challenge. Perhaps I need to slow down more so that less details slip by me. After re-reading our exchanges at that time, I now recall the lovely depth of expression and wise energy that you exude in your interactions.

      peace,
      Linda

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Linda, I think it all has come together splendidly. Nothing otherwise could or should have been… Thank you for sharing your warm impressions, and for sharing your own light so expansively…

        Michael

        Liked by 1 person

  14. linda, i really enjoyed reading this. i feel we have many parallels, though your experience is unique. a few days ago barbara asked me to contribute to the challenge, and i will on sunday. i immediately knew which image i had to use – a few weeks ago, i’d found a card with a beautiful art print that i had bought years and years ago, which deeply spoke to me when i saw it in the shop. i had to buy it. as i was reading your post, the images you chose evoked the same feeling. turns out it’s the same artist, josephine wall.

    foe me this confirms this beautiful connection that we all share. and what you write about your job…i am experiencing that right now (as you know). so anyways, i just want to say thank you for this inspiring and beautifully written post. i feel there is a deep message for me here, and i am grateful to receive it this morning. much love, aleya

    Like

    1. Your comments deeply moved me and touched my heart Aleya. I sensed a connection between us and more of the puzzle pieces are now coming into focus. Josephine Wall is a peach and I would love to get her chart. Her art screams Venus and Neptune to me. This article was very very difficult to write so I am very happy when it makes a lasting impression or serves to inspire. I really look forward to your piece and am happy that you have joined us in this beyond “very cool” project.

      much love,
      Linda

      Like

      1. thank you linda ❤ another little funny thing is you mentioned the song 'fighter' in a recent post, and i thought, i haven't heard that one in years. on my way to work that morning i stopped in at a pharmacy, and guess which song came on. i thought of you immediately!! hehe

        Like

  15. Pingback: Venus Stationing in Capricorn Conjunct Pluto – You and I | litebeing chronicles

  16. Wow wow wow!
    Thank you Linda, for sharing such an amazing & personal story. How beautiful, to have experienced that, and to have the memory, the glimpse, to hold in your heart and know, no matter how much time may pass. That you are aware of what IS, what MAY BE, out there & within us, at the same time. A truly magical, enlightening, Soulful experience.
    Blessings xx

    Like

    1. I am so pleased you got some kernel of truth from reading my story. It was quite personal and while I struggled about whether to share it, I am glad I did so that others may examine similar elements within their own stories.

      Blessings,
      xx Linda

      Like

  17. Thank you for your heartfelt sharing of your story. I can feel the love in all of it and feel blessed that you have shared it with all of us. These people that step into our paths that offer up unconditional love and share with us are simply wonderful, the trick is for us to be awakened enough to recognize them when they show up! I too had such a gift with an old boyfriend’s mother, and she is still very much a part of my life. Blessings on your continued journey.

    Like

  18. I can so relate to what you have shared about you and “James”. Thank you from my heart for sharing these treasures of your journey ~~~~~~ I am greatly enriched by your post and all the stories of this wonderful project. (Wanted to be inclusive here as I have not commented on the others but enjoyed the heartfelt stories in silence.)

    Love,

    Deelia

    Like

  19. Hey Linda, thanks for sharing this very beautiful romantic story. Yet you were very wise not to mistaken it for romantic love. This is where many of us fail 🙂 When we meet what some call our ‘twin’ soul (or twin flame) we often feel this indescribable pull to ‘merge’ together. And many merge in physical ways… Yet, if we are not spiritually ready to be together, we get caught up in just another romantic or physical relationship, and lose sight of the golden opportunity to know true love. I am so glad you recognized this opportunity and had the experience. It’s a once in a life time experience. Or maybe not? 🙂 luv xox

    Like

    1. I am very pleased that my story resonated for you Shamanic one. I had been very unwise before reaching that point and ” merged” with a few that were not spiritually ready ( or perhaps I was not ready either!) But in the end I guess it was all good. It was easier to appreciate this union as greater than the two of us also because of the chronological age difference. It worked out as it was meant to be and was probably a once in a lifetime deal, but I am still alive so who knows??

      love and light,
      Linda

      Like

  20. How wonderful Linda… and a few weeks ago you weren’t so certain of how to write your experience…. It just goes to show, when looking back we can see clearly points where our heart and soul aligns and opens us a little more to universal love….. giving us more confidence for the next part of our journey… What a great experience with James… experiencing PURE LOVE… a wonderful gift and way to show you who you truly are… Thank you for sharing your most precious self and interesting journey in life with us all… Barbara x

    Like

    1. Thanks Barbara for arranging this project and having the foresight to see the value in our collective stories. It wasn’t that I did not know what to write about, just was not sure I wanted to ” go there” and wondered if ” James ” would be OK with it. My sense is that my story has touched others, so it was worth telling. And I do not really think ” James” is concerned with events in his past being shared 🙂

      xx Lindalite

      Like

  21. Hi Linda 🙂
    Your journey has been rather colorful and absolutely fascinating. I definitely can relate to realizing one has parents who are not ready to be parents. I don’t believe anyone sets out not to love a child 🙂
    My mama always says family is not just by blood and that a woman may birth a child, but has no spiritual attachment or connection to that child. I started to understand these things as I grew up.
    I’ve never been one to know about astronomy or stars as you eloquently talk of them in this journey, but I do know that when we seek peace and self awareness, we tend to attract elements or rather, auras which will either take us there, or trick us there.
    I like how you described seeing the smile and faces of all the men from your past in James’ eyes.I believe it’s actually your center, revealing to you that you have always had Love, all you needed to do was be in alignment with your soul, and all the love you know for sure exists, would engulf you. As I always say, there are no coincidences, your encounter with James was a key to drive you into a zone of self acknowledging. The purest Love is that which seeks nothing or wants nothing, it just is.
    IMO there’s nothing transient about love, it’s about the only state of being, which genuinely remains,regardless of reciprocation.
    Thanks for sharing your light with me 🙂

    Like

    1. I like how you described seeing the smile and faces of all the men from your past in James’ eyes.I believe it’s actually your center, revealing to you that you have always had Love, all you needed to do was be in alignment with your soul, and all the love you know for sure exists, would engulf you. As I always say, there are no coincidences, your encounter with James was a key to drive you into a zone of self acknowledging. The purest Love is that which seeks nothing or wants nothing, it just is.*

      I see Dotta that you truly received the core message of my story. Thank you for taking the time to really listen with your heart and underscore the raw emotion and consciousness that transported me to distant realms without leaving the grounds of the retreat center.
      Love is all there is or ever was…..

      in light,
      Linda

      Like

  22. Wow Linda! That is very cool. I think I have experienced this portal to the divine with others, but not to the extent that you did with James.

    I think I do understand the feeling you describe, the light, the love, the acceptance, in a very deep and unquestionable knowing.

    It’s amazing too how many of us that have these esoteric interest and experience were lost, lonely outsiders as children. Perhaps that experience is more of a blessing than a curse, especially if we follow through and pursue our quest for meaning and love.

    Thank you for sharing a bit of your story here with us.
    Love,
    Debra

    Like

    1. Thank you Debra for taking the time to read my incredibly long post. I could have written more if I had time, but was thinking about the limits of my reader’s attention 🙂

      So many of us had similar beginnings and I do not think that is accidental. My advisor suggested I get Trauma and the Soul by Daniel Kalsched. It is Jungian
      in its orientation and features the correlation between difficult beginnings and mystical stirrings. I just started it but know you would love it 🙂
      Thrilled to know you understand the essence of my experience. It happened so long ago and was so fleeting, yet was a definite milestone in my journey. I would be very interested in hearing about your similar experience(s).

      love,
      Linda

      Like

      1. The one that comes to mind happened when I was only 15. I went to a summer camp with a religious group called Bah’ais, which I was considering joining.

        While at camp we took a drive to an elderly man’s house not far away. The man had been a Baha’i for many years and had donated the property for the summer camp.

        We all went to house and stepped up to greet him, one by one. As soon as I go close to him, I began to feel something very powerful and when our hands touched, I felt almost dizzy. I looked into his eyes and we didn’t say much, but I kept feeling this unusual sense that he loved me. At the time, I was way too young to make sense of it (not that I can now, lol), but can still picture his old, gentle and kind face. He had a glow.

        Like

Share your impressions

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s